0:00:16.664,0:00:18.611
자, 제가 제안을 하나 하겠습니다.

0:00:18.611,0:00:21.836
공짜입니다,

0:00:21.836,0:00:24.454
필요한거는 이것분 입니다:

0:00:24.454,0:00:28.339
2분동안 자세를 바꾸시면 됩니다.

0:00:28.339,0:00:30.838
하지만, 제가 알려드리기전에, [br]물어보고 싶은게 있네요

0:00:30.838,0:00:33.745
지금 당신의 몸을 검사해보세요

0:00:33.745,0:00:35.292
지금 당신의 몸을 어떻게 하고 있습니까?

0:00:35.292,0:00:37.018
혹시 당신은 당신의 몸을

0:00:37.018,0:00:38.850
작게나 구부리고 있지 않습니까?

0:00:38.850,0:00:41.688
다리를 꼬고 있거나,[br]아니면, 발목으로 감싸고 있거나

0:00:41.688,0:00:44.674
어쩔때는 손으로[br]우리를 감싸고 있죠.

0:00:44.674,0:00:48.055
어쩔때 우리는 [br]몸을 쭉 피기도 하지요

0:00:48.055,0:00:49.622
(웃음)

0:00:49.622,0:00:51.524
다 보이네요

0:00:51.524,0:00:52.942
지금 당신이 어떤 자세로

0:00:52.942,0:00:54.289
앉아 있는지 기억하세요

0:00:54.289,0:00:56.274
몇분후에 제가 다시 물어볼꺼예요

0:00:56.274,0:00:58.058
제 이야기를 듣고서는

0:00:58.058,0:01:01.311
자세를 어떻게 바꾸면

0:01:01.311,0:01:02.918
내 인생도 바뀌어 지는지 배우셨으면 해요

0:01:02.918,0:01:07.448
우리는 신체 언어에 대해 매료가 되어있어요

0:01:07.448,0:01:09.977
특히 우리는 상대의 신체 언어에 관심이 있습니다.

0:01:09.977,0:01:11.872


0:01:11.872,0:01:13.352
우리는

0:01:13.352,0:01:19.421
이렇게 어색한 관계나

0:01:19.421,0:01:21.959
미소, 아님 경멸하는 눈빛이나

0:01:21.959,0:01:24.430
아니면, 정말 어색한 윙크

0:01:24.430,0:01:27.756
아니면 악수같은것 말이죠

0:01:27.756,0:01:29.390
(두분이 number 10에 도착하고 있습니다)

0:01:29.390,0:01:32.177
(운 좋은 경찰관은 악수를 받네요)

0:01:32.177,0:01:34.229
(미국 대통령하고요)

0:01:34.229,0:01:36.387
(오, 총리가 오네요)

0:01:36.387,0:01:42.988
(아니군요.) (웃음)

0:01:42.988,0:01:45.949
악수를 받던, 악수를 안 받던

0:01:45.949,0:01:49.840
몇주동안 애기거리가 되지요

0:01:49.840,0:01:51.450
BBC 에서나 뉴욕타임지에서도요

0:01:51.450,0:01:54.013
당연의 우리는 비언어적인 행동이나

0:01:54.013,0:01:56.131
신체언어를 생각하면

0:01:56.131,0:01:58.769


0:01:58.769,0:02:01.339
이것은 언어 입니다.[br]의사소통을 생각하죠.

0:02:01.339,0:02:02.532
우리가 의사 소통을 생각할때

0:02:02.532,0:02:04.348
우리는 상호관계를 생각합니다.

0:02:04.348,0:02:06.673
당신의 신체언어가 [br]나에게 무엇을 애기 하고 있는지

0:02:06.673,0:02:08.916
나의 행동이 [br]당신에게 어떻게 애기 하고있는지

0:02:08.916,0:02:12.066
많은 이유가 있습니다

0:02:12.066,0:02:14.233


0:02:14.233,0:02:16.043


0:02:16.043,0:02:19.115


0:02:19.115,0:02:20.875


0:02:20.875,0:02:24.298


0:02:24.298,0:02:25.644


0:02:25.644,0:02:27.525


0:02:27.525,0:02:29.179


0:02:29.179,0:02:30.597


0:02:30.597,0:02:32.831


0:02:32.831,0:02:36.676
예를 들면요, Tufts 대학의 [br]Nalini Ambady이 한 연구 결과를 보면

0:02:36.676,0:02:39.218
사람들이

0:02:39.218,0:02:42.242
아무소리 없는 30초짜리 진짜 의사과 환자의 진료과정을 보고도

0:02:42.242,0:02:44.563


0:02:44.563,0:02:47.398
그 의사의 친철함을 예상할수 있거나

0:02:47.398,0:02:50.875
아님 이 의사가 고소당할것인가를 예상할수 있습니다.

0:02:50.875,0:02:52.174
이말은 의사가 유능하지 무능한지가 아닌

0:02:52.174,0:02:54.194


0:02:54.194,0:02:56.380
우리는 그 사람을 좋아하는지, [br]그 사람이 다른이와 어떻게 관께를 가지는지를 보는거지요

0:02:56.380,0:03:00.125
더 인상적인건요, 프린스턴 대학에 Alex Todorov가

0:03:00.125,0:03:03.551
1초안에 우리가 정치인들의 얼굴을 보는게

0:03:03.551,0:03:08.917
70% 상의원이 주시사의 결과로 이어진다고 합니다

0:03:08.917,0:03:12.485


0:03:12.485,0:03:17.131
또한 디지털로 가면, 이모티콘을 잘 쓰면

0:03:17.131,0:03:19.128
온라인에서 협상할때 당신의 요구를

0:03:19.128,0:03:21.072
더 잘 들어 줄수 있어요

0:03:21.072,0:03:23.938
하지만 잘못쓰면, 좋은 아이디어는 아니네요 그쵸?

0:03:23.938,0:03:26.955
우리는 비언어적인것을 생각할때

0:03:26.955,0:03:28.683
다른이들을 판단하는것 생각하게 되고[br]그들이 어떻게 우리를 판단할것인지 생각하죠[br]

0:03:28.683,0:03:30.589
또한 그에 따른 결과를 생각하죠

0:03:30.589,0:03:32.582
우리는 다른 청중들이 비언어

0:03:32.582,0:03:34.304


0:03:34.304,0:03:36.255


0:03:36.255,0:03:38.890


0:03:38.890,0:03:41.812


0:03:41.812,0:03:44.892


0:03:44.892,0:03:46.534
저는 사회 심리학자 입니다.

0:03:46.534,0:03:48.291
저는 선입관에 대해서 연구를 합니다.

0:03:48.291,0:03:50.241
지금은 제일

0:03:50.241,0:03:52.967


0:03:52.967,0:03:54.938


0:03:54.938,0:03:56.713


0:03:56.713,0:04:00.570


0:04:00.570,0:04:02.506


0:04:02.506,0:04:03.710


0:04:03.710,0:04:05.723


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0:04:07.139,0:04:08.715


0:04:08.715,0:04:10.240


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0:16:18.197,0:16:20.606


0:16:20.606,0:16:22.697
저는 19살 때, 아주 심한 자동차 사고를 당했어요

0:16:22.697,0:16:24.875
자동차 밖으로 튀여저 나가

0:16:24.875,0:16:28.995
몇 바퀴를 굴렀고

0:16:28.995,0:16:31.091
다시 깨어날때는

0:16:31.091,0:16:33.722


0:16:33.722,0:16:34.980
대학교를 그만 둬야 했고요

0:16:34.980,0:16:37.672
제 IQ는 표준 편차의

0:16:37.672,0:16:40.157
2배 정도가 떨어졌습니다

0:16:40.157,0:16:41.664
정말 충격적인 일 이었습니다

0:16:41.664,0:16:43.088
저는 제 IQ를 알고 있었습니다.

0:16:43.088,0:16:45.296
어렸을때 부터 똑똑한 아이도 알고 있었고, 영재라고 불렸습니다.

0:16:45.296,0:16:46.750
대학교를 그만뒀습니다.

0:16:46.750,0:16:48.242
하지만 다시 돌아갈려고 노력했습니다.

0:16:48.242,0:16:50.842
사람들은 이렇게 말했죠

0:16:50.842,0:16:52.679
너는 대학을 졸업하지 못할꺼야

0:16:52.679,0:16:54.383
다른 할 수 있는 일도 있겠지만 졸업은 힘들꺼야

0:16:54.383,0:16:56.428


0:16:56.428,0:16:58.135
정말 힘들었습니다.

0:16:58.135,0:16:59.711
영재라는 아이에게

0:16:59.711,0:17:02.327


0:17:02.327,0:17:03.829
하지만 저는 정말 열심히 공부했고

0:17:03.829,0:17:04.894
운도 좋았습니다.

0:17:04.894,0:17:05.874
더 열심히 했고, 운도 따라줬습니다.

0:17:05.874,0:17:08.878
결국, 저는 대학을 졸업햇어요

0:17:08.878,0:17:10.924
제 친구들에 비해서 4년이다 너 오래 걸렸지만요

0:17:10.924,0:17:12.637
그리고 저는 천사같은 지도 교수 Susa Fiske님을 설득해서

0:17:12.637,0:17:15.596


0:17:15.596,0:17:17.125
대학원생인 저를 가르쳐 달라고 했죠

0:17:17.125,0:17:19.436
그래서 프린스튼 대학에 가게 되었습니다.

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나는 여기에 있을 아이가 아닌데..

0:17:21.012,0:17:22.510


0:17:22.510,0:17:25.441
제 첫 번째 강연은 프린스턱에서

0:17:25.441,0:17:26.874
20명 앞에서 20분 동안 강연하는거였어요

0:17:26.874,0:17:28.558


0:17:28.558,0:17:31.406
저는 너무 겁이 나서 다음날 지도교수님께 전화해서,

0:17:31.406,0:17:33.180
이렇게 말했습니다.

0:17:33.180,0:17:34.707
"저는 포기할래요"

0:17:34.707,0:17:36.406
교수님은 이렇게 말했습니다 [br]"너는 그만 두시 않을거야"

0:17:36.406,0:17:37.763
나는 너에게 모험을 걸었어

0:17:37.763,0:17:39.950
너는 여기 남을꺼야. [br]너는 여기 남아서

0:17:39.950,0:17:41.577
너는 여기 남아서

0:17:41.577,0:17:42.847
너는 정말 잘 하는 척을 할꺼야

0:17:42.847,0:17:45.154
너는 모든 강연의 기회가 있을때마다 하게 될것이고

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너는 하게 될거야. 너는 할수있을꺼야.

0:17:48.065,0:17:50.800
아무리 무서워도, 몸이 마비가 되더라도

0:17:50.800,0:17:52.823
영혼이 몸에서 빠져 나가도

0:17:52.823,0:17:54.667


0:17:54.667,0:17:56.427
"아 내가 하고 있고나"

0:17:56.427,0:17:58.061
내가 이것이 내것이 되었구나

0:17:58.061,0:17:59.678
정말 하고 있구나 할때까지

0:17:59.678,0:18:00.812
그리고 저는 해냈습니다.

0:18:00.812,0:18:02.243
5년의 대학원을 끝나고

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몇년후에

0:18:03.656,0:18:05.696
하버드 대학에 가게 되었습니다.

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하버대 대학에서는 생각하지 않게 되었습니다.

0:18:06.846,0:18:08.695
오랫동안요

0:18:08.695,0:18:10.186
하지만 갑자기. 나는 원래 여기 있으면 안되나봐

0:18:10.186,0:18:12.054
이자리는 내 자기가 아닌가봐

0:18:12.054,0:18:13.575
제가 하버드에 맨 처음에 있을때

0:18:13.575,0:18:18.015
수업에 참여를 잘 하지 않는 학생이있었습니다.

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그 학기동안 한마디도요

0:18:19.322,0:18:20.654
제가 불러서 애기 했습니다. [br]"수업에 참여 하지 않으면

0:18:20.654,0:18:21.891
낙제 당할수도 있어"

0:18:21.891,0:18:24.011
그 학생이 제 오피스로 왔습니다.[br]저는 그 학생을 잘 알지 못했고요

0:18:24.011,0:18:27.820
그 여학생이 애기 했습니다.

0:18:27.820,0:18:36.090
여기는 제가 있을곳이 아니예요

0:18:36.090,0:18:38.153
그 순간은 저에게 두가지가 떠올랐습니다.

0:18:38.153,0:18:40.706
첫번째, 저는 깨달았습니다.

0:18:40.706,0:18:42.908
나는 더 이상 그렇게 생각이 들지 않는구나

0:18:42.908,0:18:44.504
이상하게 그렇게 느끼지도 않았어요

0:18:44.504,0:18:46.284
하지만 그 여학생을 그렇게 느껴고[br]저는 그 여학생이 무엇을 느끼고 있는지 알고 있었습니다.

0:18:46.284,0:18:48.715
두번째로는 그 학생이 있을곳은 여기라는거죠

0:18:48.715,0:18:50.858
그 여

0:18:50.858,0:18:54.214


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0:19:38.475,0:19:41.146
한 번 해날때까지는 속이는 게 아니라

0:19:41.146,0:19:45.675
완전히 그렇게 될 때까지 속이셔야 합니다.

0:19:45.675,0:19:48.257


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