I'm fucking Matt Damon

She's fucking Matt Damon

I'm sorry, but it's true

I'm fucking Matt Damon

She's fucking Matt Damon

I'm not imagining it's you

I'm fucking Matt Damon

On the bed, on the floor

On a towel by the door

In the tub, in the car

Up against the mini-bar

I'm fucking Matt Damon

She's fucking Matt Damon

While you're drinking diet Snapple

I said I'm fucking Matt Damon

She said she's fucking Matt Damon

Hey Kimmel, 
how do you like them apples?

Get it?

Because I'm kinda 
talking about her breasts.

Yeah, it's... it's funny.

Hey Jim, don't take it bad

Remember 
all the good times we had

Like the time we went fishing

And we caught 
a bunch of fish

Then you puked 
in the bucket of fish that we caught

Knock knock!

Who's that knocking at my door?

I'm Fu!

I'm Fu who?

I'm fucking Matt Damon!

She's fucking Matt Damon!

Analyze!

F-U-C-K Matt D-A-M-O-N

I said F-U-C-K Matt D-A-M-O-N

I'm fucking Matt Damon

She's fucking Matt Damon

And you know that I ain't lying

I said I'm fucking Matt Damon

She's fucking Matt Damon

Ask The Insider's Pat O'Brien

It's true. The Insider has confirmed 
that she is in fact, fucking Matt Damon.

Last week when I was playing 
Scrabble with you online

I was fucking Matt Damon

You flew back and forth like an idiot
to do your show and Regis and Kelly's show

She was definitely 
fucking Matt Damon

When I told you 
I was fucking Matt Damon

I was fucking Matt Damon

On the bed, on the floor

On a towel by the door

In the tub, in the car

Up against the mini-bar

She's fucking Matt Damon

She's fucking Matt Damon

She's fucking Matt Damon

I love L.A.