1
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Audience chattering.]

2
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Good afternoon!

3
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I am Reinaldo Garcia.

4
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And you are the audience.

5
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Laughter, applause.]

6
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay! Um, 
turn off all cel phones, please.

7
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And, we're in a residential
neighborhood,

8
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so, no drag racing down the streets
of quiet Carmel, when we leave.

9
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The show is about an hour and 
10 minutes long.

10
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There is some harsh language
in the piece, okay?

11
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'll be taking confessionals
in my booth over here,

12
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
after the plays are over,


13
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Audience chuckles]

14
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if anybody wants
to unburden their hearts, okay?

15
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, welcome to "Dream Butchers."

16
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Applause.]

17
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
PLACE HOLDER

18
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[Acoustic guitars]

19
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[Sings] You crawled across dry thorns

20
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and chewed cut glass.

21
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please come through my door,
lay down on the grass.

22
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar phrase]

23
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I don't care where you've been,
in the dark side of town.

24
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Your history might be shameful.

25
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I will always let you in,
I will never let you down.

26
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar chords]

27
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I'm entertaining angels.

28
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Acoustic guitars]

29
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Now you're down on your luck,
your spirits broke.

30
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I see your beggar's cup
filled with busted hope.

31
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Let this new day begin,
before the sun goes down.

32
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I'll know I served an angel.

33
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I will always let you in,
I will never let you down.

34
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm entertaining angels.

35
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar flourish.]

36
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hello, stranger. Drop your things.
Come on in.

37
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There's no danger.
I see the wings beneath your skin.

38
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I am no holy man.
Just a human

39
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who must obey the plan
for a communion.

40
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It's a mortal sin
if I would renounce a man

41
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whose life is painful.

42
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I will always let you in,
I will never let you down.

43
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because I'm entertaining you angels.

44
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar flourish.]

45
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[End chord holds.]

46
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Applause.]

47
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[Spoken] I played baseball
in 2 different baseball leagues around town.

48
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And I also umpire, uh, baseball.

49
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And our opening piece,
"Low and Inside,"

50
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is about a local man

51
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
uh, whose career,
whose professional career was destroyed.

52
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But there is a romance to baseball.

53
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And I wrote this song up in the 
San Jose Giants stadium.

54
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Uh, I recommend going to 
Minor League baseball.

55
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You get right up next to the players.

56
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They are the future stars of the game.

57
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It's really exhilarating to me.

58
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, I wrote this song,
as the players were warming up.

59
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's called 
"The Church of Baseball."

60
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Cheerful acoustic guitars]

61
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The ground crew rakes the infield,
they line the batter's box with lime.

62
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Then they spray the baselines,
dust it down 'til players take the field.

63
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The church of baseball.
Warm in summer air.

64
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The church of baseball.
It's all prepared.

65
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Now the players stretch and run.
Boys of summer filled with dreams.

66
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The fan girls scream.
The local boy warms up in the sun.

67
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The church of baseball.
Blesses all the minor leagues.

68
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The church of baseball.
It'll last for centuries.

69
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Local talent sings the anthem.
Out of tune loudspeakers squeal.

70
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now the home team takes the field.
Bonus babies, tall and handsome.

71
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The church of baseball.
It's a sacred space.

72
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The church of baseball.
Steal a base.

73
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For Willie, and Maury,
Even Ricky Henderson too.

74
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The church of baseball,
It welcomes you.

75
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar flourish.]

76
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Low and Inside."
[Applause.]

77
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[Announcer] I get it.

78
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Baseball is a historical game.
I like to compare different things,

79
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compare different eras.

80
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But how in the world, John Ruck,
can you compare a guy

81
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getting all these hits in Japan,
and then add it up with the Majors,

82
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and then say he truly hit
came from a paper on point. You can't.

83
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The people should know.
What he has done is incredible.

84
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
To say he has passed Pete Rose,
as all time hit leader, we can't do that.

85
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[Announcer voices continue.]

86
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey Neal.
[Drunkenly mumbles.]

87
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Uh. Hm. Uh. 
[Laughs.]

88
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Gimme a 7 & 7.
And go easy on the 7-Up.

89
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Would you turn down the --
turn the TV off?

90
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I gotta give a reason?
I been comin' here for 5, 6 years?

91
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Because! I don't wanna
see, hear, or read about baseball.

92
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[?]

93
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And another, por favor.

94
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No tab tonight.

95
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I'm leavin' no debts.

96
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You remember Jason?
Big, body builder type?

97
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah! With the rash down his neck.

98
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know any hit men?
Ahh, just kidding.

99
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think. You remember Roosevelt?
Fat guy, with a face like a badger?

100
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He went over big time.

101
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R - R - Rosie?
Neal. You live upstairs.

102
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There's nobody here.
Can I stay a while?

103
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Gracias, mi amigo.


104
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Ahhh. [Exhales.]

105
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You know me.
I'm a friendly guy, right?

106
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So does professional baseball.

107
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It was in Marietta, Georgia.
Pre-season sessions.

108
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Director of officials tells me
I've been elevated to crew chief.

109
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Working beside of me,
two guys with me.

110
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Jason Olivetti, and 
Roosevelt Truman.

111
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"Jason Olivetti!" I said.
"Oh no. No, no."

112
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"I heard he's a piece of work."

113
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"Rico!" he says.
"You're the kind of

114
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natural-born leader
who can get along with anybody."

115
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"Mentor the kid."

116
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Them's my marching orders.

117
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Two years away from the
Majors, a lifelong dream. Hmm.

118
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Through Berman, Chatanooga, Jackson,
Pensacola, Knoxville, Montgomery.

119
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Mobile, Cogsville. Athletes!
Dripping testosterone and doubt.

120
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Adonises driven by a dream.
And, there I am. Deep within it.

121
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Benevolent, dispensing justice.
Witnessing brilliance.

122
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John Smokes. Matt Holliday.
Juan Fiera. Ah! Ahh.

123
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A cavalcade of future stars.
Passing through my station

124
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on their way to immortality.

125
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The baseball field is a timeless Eden.

126
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And, into my crew chief's ear
slithered Jason Olivetti.

127
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Dwelling in a body stocking of a rash.

128
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You know it even discolored his weiner?

129
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Yes! I looked. 
Ahhhh.

130
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Don't be naive, Neal.
Everybody looks.

131
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Ahhh. Ehhhh. [Laughs.]

132
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Ahh. [Exhales.]

133
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You know....
I...I...I....

134
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Taking charge of a ball field
was just -- almost second nature for me.

135
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I was a catcher in college.
Field General. I ran the pitchers.

136
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Directed the fielders. Worked the arms.

137
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And when I wasn't drafted,
I went to umpire school.

138
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Vero Beach, Florida.
Dodger Town. Heh-heh.

139
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ahh. Sailed right through.
Through rookies. Single ed.

140
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By my 3rd year, I was already crew chief.
Two guys under me.

141
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In a [?] applied by the Majors.
First class hotels all through the South.

142
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Ha-ha! The future World Series ump!

143
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Tell me...tell me.
How does a guy who gets along

144
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with everybody, grow to hate a man?

145
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Who the mere sight of
provokes nausea and vomiting? Eh?

146
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason was a -- a strapping farm boy
who was seduced by big city ambition.

147
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Prostitutes. Marijuana. Hm?
Ah! I'll show you what I mean.

148
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We checked into a hotel.

149
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
During dinner, Jason is flirting
with the waitress.

150
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Flirting. Ha. How's about this.

151
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[Hick accent] "That was one fine meal!
Mmm- mmm - mmm!

152
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But it lacked some spice.


153
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Why don't you come up to my room later,
and let me taste your pussy?"

154
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Audience groans.]

155
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[His own voice again]
Then, they were down at the front desk.

156
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Proclaiming, bitching that his towels
were not white enough.

157
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He would weiner-wag the maid,
when he came out of the shower.

158
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Couple of times, he came back to his room
to find it ransacked.

159
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well deserved, I'd say.

160
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hm? Oh, on the diamond?
Okay.

161
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason's behind the ditch, right?
Guy gets a home run.

162
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
As he's circling the bases,
Jason picks up the bat,

163
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and leans on it, like Mister Peanut
leaning on his cane.

164
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Right on home plate! Hmm?!
Ahh.

165
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, he never smoked it in the van.

166
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It was just the idea of driving through
the South, with my protege,

167
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holding grass -- terrified me!

168
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No. Nooo, no. I could never report him.

169
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You have no idea what it would do
to my reputation.

170
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Laughs] And his taste in music.

171
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We had -- we had a rule.

172
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The guy behind the wheel
chooses the tunes. Hmm?

173
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason wouldn't be out --
we wouldn't be out of the parking lot,

174
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the hotel parking lot,
not 5 minutes.

175
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason slides in his
'Greatest Hits of the '70s' CD.

176
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Afternoon Delight."
"Summer Breeze."

177
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Da-da-da da-da-da

178
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Blowin' through the jasmine
of my mind."

179
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"One Toke Over the Line."

180
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
From Mobile to Jackson!

181
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason is the reason I drink
these 7 & 7s.

182
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This official beverage of choice.

183
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I, I enjoyed them, to -- to
establish rapport.

184
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Roosevelt, too.
Drank in the back seat.

185
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Tapping away at his [bleep]ing 
iPhone.

186
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Watching porn.
Aiming the camera at the front seat.

187
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Making what he calls his
'POV dramalogue.'

188
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ahhh.

189
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay. So. So! So.

190
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We are in 'bama now.

191
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Barons pitted against 
their arch-rivals, Huntsville Stars.

192
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Battling for the title.
Two games left.

193
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Two games,
and Jason is out of my life!

194
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah. 
The Barons, and the Stars.

195
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Huge rivals. Mutual hate.

196
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So.

197
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It all comes down to two outs,
bottom of the 9th, bases loaded.

198
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Barons down 3.

199
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
22 year old defector Cuban.
22 year old Cuba defector Oscar Morales

200
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is a 5'2" phenom.

201
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Already, he has tripled, and stolen home.

202
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, he slides to the plate,
with a hit on the line.

203
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Huntsville pitcher launches a fast ball.

204
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Inside and low.

205
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ball one.

206
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The catcher --
the wisecracking, Polack misfit

207
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anje Prozinski,
asks for a clean one.

208
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Gimme a ball you can see."

209
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hm? Of course! I tossed him!

210
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The guy turns on me.
Huntsville keeper leaps out of the dugout,

211
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
restraining Prozinski with one hand,
and screaming for an explanation.

212
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I dunno what the guy said."

213
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"You're not allowed to argue
balls and strikes. You know that."

214
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The manager looks at this catcher.
Says, "you say that?"

215
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Yeah. Hey. If Blue-Hair grew an eye,
he'd be a Cyclops."

216
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Huntsville manager nearly breaks his ribs,
he's laughing so hard.

217
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The fans are going ape-shit.
The pitcher comes in to the ditch.

218
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason and Roosevelt run up
to restore order. Hmm. Ugghhh.

219
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm coming to it. Gimme a sec.
Wait a minute.

220
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then, the pitcher says,

221
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, Blue. We know you're blind.
We've seen your wife."

222
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just a minute here. 
I'm coming to that.

223
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay. Now, back to the game.

224
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay. So. The pitcher, the new pitcher
delivers a rising fast ball.

225
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Morales fouls it back, knocks off my mask.
I go down to my knees.

226
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Someone in the Stars dugout yells,

227
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, Blue! Get up off your knees!
You're BLOWING the game!"

228
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I go over to the Huntsville dugout.
I give 'em the 'stink eye.'

229
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That settles them down.

230
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Next pitch, Morales slams
way down the right field line.

231
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Fouled by inches.
Counts one and two.

232
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Next pitch a slider, outside.


233
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But Morales, already, you know,
what we call a professional hitter,

234
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
fouls off the next five pitches
before taking a ball

235
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
millimeters over the plate.

236
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The new catcher goes,
"Hey Blue!"

237
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I go, "Ah-ah!
One peep out of you,

238
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you shower with your friend."

239
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Guy goes, "Peep!"

240
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I swallow it.

241
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Morales fouls off
the next 3 pitches too.

242
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Eh? Good -- good hitter?
You better believe it.

243
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
OK. So, now...

244
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So now, the Huntsville pitcher
hangs a curve.

245
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh-ho-ho-ho!

246
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Morales drools.

247
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He spins on it!

248
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And launches the ball
high into the Alabama night.

249
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The crowd leaps as one,

250
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as the ball is
Pensacola-bound.

251
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Walk off Grand Slam!

252
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[?] by a run.

253
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hm-hm!

254
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Me and my crew,
we have to pass

255
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the Visitors' dugout
to exit the field.

256
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The losing pitcher
comes up behind me.

257
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey! Lucky you don't have
an ERA, Blue.

258
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Those runs are yours!"

259
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So.

260
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So we have a game
the next day.

261
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No time to shower.
We have to go to Jackson.

262
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We pile into the van,
Jason behind the wheel.

263
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Sings] "Sky rockets in flight!
Afternoon -- "

264
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason starts to dig in.

265
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, Rico.
That 2 strike call on Morales.

266
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That was strike 3."

267
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Jason," I said.

268
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"That ball was so far outside,
it had a hat and a coat on.

269
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Could you turn it down a bit?"

270
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I look in the back, 
at Roosevelt, for some support.

271
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Roosevelt is aiming
his iPhone at us.

272
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Another chapter in his
on the road documentary.

273
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason digs in deeper.

274
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, Rico.
You -- You Latinos


275
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
look out after each other,
don'tcha?

276
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What, did Morales
slip you some pesos?

277
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Huh? Huh? One gone call
tips the championship.

278
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought only horses
slept standing up."

279
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Alright, Jason. That's enough."

280
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"You guys," Roosevelt says,
"been goin' at it for 4 solid months.

281
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Since opening day. Why don't you both
settle it like men?"

282
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Just a minute, here. Just a minute."

283
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey -- gimme another 7 and 7, huh?

284
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anyway --

285
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm trying every umpire's trick
to NOT listen.

286
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One more game left!

287
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then I notice.
We're going in a circle.

288
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I say "Jason, you do have
the directions? Right?"

289
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he says, Jason says,
"Uh, I ran out of rolling papers."

290
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Uh, built me a doobie
out of the directions."

291
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Up in smoke!"

292
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said, "Jason, go straight.
At the lights, turn right.

293
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That will lead you onto 
highway 20 on ramp to Atlanta."

294
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Man who doesn't know his way
around a strike zone,

295
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
giving me directions?"

296
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hmmm. Hey! Slip me some pesos,
and I'll consider it."

297
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey Rico! Next time
you're behind the dish,

298
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
bend over. 
Call the game with your good eye."

299
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Roosevelt is breaking up
in the back seat.

300
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Four solid months. You two
should form a comedy team."

301
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Ahh, getting caught in a 
wetback conspiracy, Roosevelt

302
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is no laughing matter."

303
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, maybe -- maybe Rico
would call a more accurate game,

304
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if home plate were shaped like
a tortilla."

305
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm staying cool.

306
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey Rico! Yo Rico, I'm your daddy.
Hitchhiked to Salinas once,

307
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and [bleeped] your mother,
in a lettuce field."

308
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"OK. OK, listen.
One more crack,

309
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'll wreck your career."

310
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Crack? Your mamacita's
tasted like guacamole."

311
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Whoa, you gonna take that,
Rico?"

312
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I just about had enough
of you, Rico.

313
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let's settle this like men."

314
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jasmine is blowing through
our minds.

315
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason pulls the van over,
under the streetlight.

316
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He rips open the driver's door.

317
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Races around
the back of the van.

318
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I've got blood in my eyes.

319
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He yanks open the passenger door,

320
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and before he could remove his hand,
I clocked him, with a solid left to the jaw.

321
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason grabs my arm,
and the Oklahoma farm boy

322
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
slings me out, 
under the street light.

323
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We are tussling like wildcats.

324
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The guy has got 100 pounds on me.

325
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Roosevelt is filming the whole thing
on his iPhone.

326
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Thirty seconds later...

327
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it's over.

328
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We get back in the van,

329
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and pull into Jacksonville,
just before dawn.

330
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Not a word spoken
the whole way.

331
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A week later,
our little altercation

332
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
shows up on You Tube.

333
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Posted anonymously."

334
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
ESPN runs it.

335
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jason and I are released.

336
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Fired.

337
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Roosevelt's on his way
to the Big Show.

338
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What am I gonna do here?

339
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What am I gonna do.

340
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Applause.]

341
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Peppy guitars.]

342
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Sings] I did not rise up
from the mire

343
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to be cast into 
the lake of fire.

344
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I am proud to be
an outlaw.

345
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What I am 
is plain to God.

346
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Doesn't matter
what you sacrificed.

347
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We'll all appear before the
judgment seat of Christ.

348
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitars]

349
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did not rise up
from the mire

350
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to be cast into
the lake of fire.

351
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Live by faith,
not by sight.

352
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All that's mortal
swallowed up by life.

353
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So that each of us
will receive

354
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
what is due us,
wheat or chaff.

355
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
For all the things done
while in the body

356
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
whether good or bad.

357
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitars]

358
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Kingdom soon will come.

359
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Exploding with the sun.

360
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All my loved ones
melding into one,

361
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'cause the kingdom
soon will come.

362
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar scales duo]

363
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did not rise up
from the mire

364
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to be cast into
the lake of fire.

365
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I will live forever more.

366
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
On the Armageddon shore.

367
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitars]

368
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Seven seals,
Seven trumpets.

369
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Seven vials,
Seven cursed digits.

370
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Seven dooms,
Seven new things.

371
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
For the angels.

372
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitars]

373
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did not rise up
from the mire

374
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to be cast into
the lake of fire.

375
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I am proud to be
an outlaw.

376
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What I am...

377
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is plain...to...God.
[Guitar strum]

378
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Applause]

379
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Screams]

380
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Screams, panicked breathing]
[Bell ringing]

381
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You really did it this time, Harriet.

382
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just had to leave the fold,
didn't you?

383
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You had it all.
Plenty of green grass,

384
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a haircut every spring.

385
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Three swell dogs,
and the friendliest shepherd

386
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
this side of Bo Peep.

387
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Real friendly.
Was old Harriet satisfied?

388
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nooo. [Bleats]
[Audience laughs]

389
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Had to leave the herd!
Big tough gal, huh, Harriet?

390
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf howls]

391
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What am I gonna do?

392
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf howls]

393
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf laughs]
Alright, mutton head.

394
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Where ya be? [Sniffs around]
I knows you out here somewheres.

395
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hoo! All this runnin' 'round
makes a fella dog-tired.

396
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why don't I just lay these here 
bones up against this boulder,

397
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and catch my breath?

398
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf sighs] Heyyy.
That feels nice-like.

399
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wonder where my dinner
ran off to?

400
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Probably cowering
behind one of these rocks.

401
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'll catch her.
And when I do!

402
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Should I make it...
mutton stew?

403
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or leg o' lamb,
or just eat her raw?

404
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Mutton! Ain't had no sheep
for the whole month!

405
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[?]

406
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Whoo! Brings out the beast in me.

407
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf pants]
Zippedy-doo-da!

408
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Zip! [Sheep yelps]
Ah-dee-ay!

409
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
My, oh, my!
What a wonderful day!

410
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Plenty o' moonshine
headin' MY way!

411
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh-ho-ho yeah-eh!
Oh-ho, YEAH-eh!

412
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Howls loudly]

413
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, what's this?
A earthquake?

414
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wellllllll, I'll be.
That you, mutton head?

415
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ohhh! Please, Mr. Wolf.
Go find someone else.

416
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was just out 
munching clover...

417
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's enough of that,
little girl.

418
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How many times you been warned
'bout movin' out on your own?

419
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Look. I only eat the old, 
and the sick.

420
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I got my code.

421
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So gimme a break with 
the sob story,

422
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'cause I ain't ate 
in a week, little girl.

423
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't call me that!

424
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I may be on the meek side,
but I am not little.

425
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe I will end up
in your belly.

426
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
BUT! Not before
I account for myself.

427
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Bell rings]

428
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf laughs]

429
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, don't that 
beat all!

430
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Full moon's got in your
blood too, eh little lady?

431
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

432
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf laughs mockingly]

433
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh-oh. A fightin' back.
Well I'll be darned.

434
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ow!

435
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh I didn't mean it!
Oh, please don't get mad.

436
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ow! You little moron!

437
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don'tcha know
you could get hurt doin' that?

438
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I dunno what's come over me.

439
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf grunts and groans]

440
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One day I'm munching clover,
and the next, I'm --

441
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
pugilizing with canis lupus.

442
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Pugilizin'?! Sounds weird.

443
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Tradin' blows?
Fisticuffs?

444
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Tusslin'? Dukin' it out?
Goin' ten --

445
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Alright! Enough with the words!

446
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You gonna make a run for it,
or what?

447
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I got important things
to attend to!

448
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
With very important wolves.

449
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're kidding.

450
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Whatta ya mean? 
Whatta ya mean?

451
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I tell ya, I'm in a hurry.

452
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why, me and some friends,
I -- I --

453
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What? What's wrong?

454
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nothin'! Gol durn it.

455
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What? What about your friends?
Is something wrong?

456
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Full moon's got me talkin' funny.

457
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, no, something's wrong.
I can sense it.

458
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm very attuned
to the emotional manifestations

459
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of my fellow beings.
Something's awry.

460
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nothin' crunchin' your bones 
won't fix!

461
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Your friends?
What about your friends?

462
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Big Shots.
Every one of 'em.

463
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Leaders of the pack!

464
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Take me with you!

465
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, this is the adventure
I've always dreamed of!

466
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shee-oot! What's this
gol-dang world coming to?

467
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, listen.
If you don't start runnin' or fightin'

468
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
right quick, I'm gonna get ornery.
Then you'll really be sorry!

469
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's your last chance!

470
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let me meet 'em.
I can tell 'em some

471
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
friendly shepherd jokes.

472
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I got this one about an
'embraceable ewe'

473
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that'll put 'em in stitches.

474
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Alright, alright, alright.
I know when my leg's being pulled.

475
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, look.
If I brought you back with me,

476
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
well, I'd get laughed out
of the pack.

477
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're afraid to be alone?

478
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Big stud wolf,
afraid to be alone?

479
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Can't face up to his own
reflection in the watering hole?

480
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I am alone!


481
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I ain't got no friends, OK?
Ya happy now?

482
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was kicked out for in -- uh --
in -- uh --

483
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
infedulity!

484
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Infidelity?

485
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yep. She's not my woman.

486
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All wolves in the wild are women,
usually.

487
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But, when the pups came along,
it was bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

488
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The good times stopped,
and one thing led to another,

489
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and one night, I raised a ruckus
with one of the younger ones.

490
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Got thrown out on my ear.

491
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're an outsider.
A 'lone wolf.'

492
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
As lonely as they come.

493
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, I get it!

494
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Tryin' to get on my good side,
with sympathy, aren't ya?

495
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, I'm onto you, sweetheart!

496
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You gotta get up pretty early
in the mornin' to fool Lupe.

497
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
darn, I told ya my name!

498
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why'd I go and 
tell you my name?

499
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Guadalupe?

500
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, Loopy. Like....

501
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hi. I'm Harriet.

502
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And you're an outlaw.

503
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A savage desert denizen,
traveling fast -- traveling light.

504
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Exacting and giving no quarter.

505
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Content to let the buffalo chips
fall where they may.

506
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Taking as it comes, day by day.

507
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Your only friend: your wily wolf wit.

508
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've always admired your kind, Loopy!

509
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why, in my younger years,
I rather fancied myself a black sheep.

510
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sort of a...maverick in mohair?

511
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Marching to the tinkle of my own bell?

512
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Til one day it all went grey,
and I settled in.

513
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You told me YOUR name?!

514
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why'd you have to go and 
tell me YOUR name?!

515
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[?] ain't got no name.

516
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Vulture caws]

517
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What's that?!

518
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What's what?

519
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Vulture caws]

520
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That noise!

521
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, THAT noise. 
Just --

522
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Vulture caws]

523
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a garden variety
turkey vulture.

524
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't be scared.

525
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Vulture caws]

526
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They've never attacked
anything alive.

527
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No he waits in line,
all polite-like, 'til

528
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the original killers
have had our fill.

529
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then, after I slink off,
and let the stomach do its job,

530
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
on the FRESH meat --

531
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Vulture caws]

532
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
them vultures fill their entrails
on the carcass.

533
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Only when the stench of the
rotten flesh will make a horse fly puke

534
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
does your vulture move in.

535
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
See? Everybody's
got his way of doin' things.

536
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Relaaaaax.

537
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That vulture don't concern you.

538
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
YET.

539
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Loopy? I love you.

540
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Love? LOVE?!

541
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Come on, girl!

542
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's just your way of saying
you think you're better than me.

543
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's not true!

544
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You have many --
fine qualities.

545
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Courageous hunter?

546
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Intrepid explorer?

547
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Rugged individualist?

548
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hmm --

549
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The frontier spirit incarnate.

550
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why, with --

551
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
with just a few lessons
in philosophy,

552
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in etiquette,
in personal hygiene --

553
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think it --

554
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[GROWLS ANGRILY]

555
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, hy-GIENE.

556
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Cleanliness?

557
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's next to Godliness?

558
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Except for you, 
it's next to impossible.

559
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf growls]

560
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anyway!

561
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's just a few lessons --
in rhetoric, in elocution.

562
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And a dash -- 
just a teensy dash --

563
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of political analysis thrown in.

564
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Incisive, five week --

565
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Alright!

566
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Listen, fleece bag.

567
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
My empty stomach says
tea time is over.

568
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let's cut the chit chat,
and proceed to the heart of the menu.

569
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Move! Make a run for it,
before I lose my temper

570
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and get VIOLENT!

571
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've been outfoxed.

572
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I can run no more.

573
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm big enough to admit
to your superiority

574
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in the scheme of things.

575
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Crush these feeble limbs
in your bear-trap jaws.

576
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Better that, than to grow flabby
in some meadow.

577
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Do me this favor.

578
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Son of a...buzzard.

579
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please!

580
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
End my squalid existence.

581
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Make wolf-flesh of my marrow.

582
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Gorge on me, that I may be
transformed.

583
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But! What's in it for you?

584
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Immediate gratification?
And then what?

585
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Inside of a week,
you'll be on the prowl again.

586
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A pathetic slobbering beast
with only one thing on its tiny mind.

587
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Enslaved by a hunger 
which has no end.

588
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All I wanted was a square meal.

589
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ohhhh.
Loopy, I love you.

590
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I want to help you.

591
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The only way you could help me
would be by committin' suicide

592
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and servin' yourself upon a platter!

593
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Loopy, I know things.

594
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All those years in the sweet
and boring clover,

595
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was thinking!
Watching the sun rise,

596
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and set,
sniffing the blue air.

597
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Seeing the stars at night.

598
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Feeling the change of the seasons.

599
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
White winters huddled in the barn.
Green springtime. Blazing summer.

600
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Smoky autumn. All the while,
I'm thinking.

601
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I started wondering why
everything is the way it is.

602
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And, the more I wondered why
the less I saw the majesty around me.

603
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I couldn't stop the wondering!

604
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One day, as the little ones
were led off to the blade, it hit me.

605
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It hit ya?

606
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The reason for everything!

607
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Huh?

608
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why we're here.

609
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why these rocks are hard
and still warm, even as moonshine

610
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
coats them in silver.

611
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why meadow grass
is green and slick.

612
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why rain and snow make rivers.

613
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why wolves love mutton?

614
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why wolves love mutton.

615
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And why you won't eat me.

616
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I won't?

617
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nope! You won't.

618
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But -- if I eat you, wouldn't I
automatically know these things?

619
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I hear flatworms do that way.

620
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One of the elders of the pack
were tellin' us about a "experiment"

621
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he heard about. Seems that some
flatworms were trained to

622
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
wiggle through a maze, to get some food.
Then, they was ground up into

623
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
tiny chunks of meat,
and fed to some baby flatworms.

624
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
First thing ya know,
them babies is negotiatin' that maze

625
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
like they was born to it.
One generation feedin' the next.

626
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I was wonderin' -- if I eat you,
[Harriet yelps]

627
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
won't I know these things?

628
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Harriet laughs uneasily]
Sorry.

629
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're a wolf, and I'm a sheep.

630
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I will not allow the blow to your
self-esteem, of comparing yourself

631
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to a mere 
[scientific word for flatworm.]

632
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Loopy! We're not worms.

633
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay! So why we here?
And why do wolves love mutton?

634
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know that you're
sophisticated enough

635
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to understand that just yet.

636
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's enough! I have sat through
your tales too long!

637
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
My guts are howlin' louder than
Uncle Louie at the last eclipse.

638
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I know why there are eclipses!

639
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't give a hoot why!
[Whooshing sound]

640
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf whimpers]
What was that?!

641
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I know why the stars are
faaaaallllliiiiinnnnng!

642
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why?!

643
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why, I'd need at least a week
to explain it to you.

644
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, you're stallin'!
[Thunder sounds]

645
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf whimpers]
[Sheep snickers]

646
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf] What's goin' on?

647
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Sheep yelps] Oooh! Stop!

648
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Move no closer!
Just...keep...pursuing me...

649
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
hungry.

650
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Keep your beautiful savagery.
May your jaws always drip.

651
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Desire is a beautiful thing, 
Loopy.

652
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Eat me now, and you'll be hungry
tomorrow, with no one to talk to.

653
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Keep me alive, and you can want me
forever.

654
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, Loopy, we can do it.
Let's be friends!

655
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I -- I -- am hungry.
I ache.

656
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You are pink and tender.

657
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
My fur bristles.
I drool. I eat!

658
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You'll stay as you are,
forever wolf.

659
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let me civilize you!

660
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf grunts] My body 
howls for you!

661
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What of the heavens,
dear wolf?

662
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Whooshing sound]
[Distant thunder]

663
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You won't distract me
with your talkin'.

664
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, you [?]
Enough!

665
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Run! Fight!
Howl for yourself.

666
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You ask alien things.

667
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why not entreat
these rocks to sing?

668
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're a cunning one,
and a coward.

669
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Sheep gasps] A thirst slaked
by a coward's blood

670
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
would leave you parched, yes?

671
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf] You're not worth it!

672
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Not worth it?!
I offer you eternal desire!

673
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Friendship! [Exhales]
Big tough wolf. [Bell rings]

674
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'll beat you, old Loopy.

675
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You don't wanna be my friend.
[Bell rings]

676
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You just wanna save your skin.
Make a fool out of me.

677
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Bell rings] I got news for ya.

678
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You can walk a mile in my shoes,
and never fill my boots.

679
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, so sorry, Loopster.
Takes guts to be my pal.

680
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You just ain't got what it takes.
Call me what you want:

681
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Howl at the sun and call it the moon
if it makes you feel any better!

682
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Sheep chokes, bell rings]

683
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf howls loudly]

684
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Wolf laughs, bell rings]

685
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Your move...PAL.
[Wolf laughs]

686
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Vulture caws]

687
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Applause]

688
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Acoustic guitar bridge]

689
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Phrase repeats]

690
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I let out a primal scream
all the neighbors heard.

691
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I woke them up from their dreams
while their children stirred.

692
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I released a primal scream
ripped out from my core.

693
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All the slaughter I had seen,
I couldn't hold it any more.

694
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They look at me funny,
intrigued by what they see

695
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
though my smile is sunny
when I pass by their children's feet.

696
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar phrase]

697
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I ripped out a primal scream
through the neighborhood.

698
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did not do anything
like a neighbor should.

699
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I got a hold of primal screams,
sent lightning through the air.

700
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm better now than I do seem.
They don't really care.

701
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar flourish]

702
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They look at me funny,
intrigued by what they see

703
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
though my smile is sunny
when I pass by their children's feet.

704
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar phrase]

705
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I let out a primal scream
all the neighbors heard.

706
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I woke them up from their dream
while their children stirred.

707
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I released a primal scream
ripped out from my core.

708
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All the slaughter I have seen
I couldn't hold it any more.

709
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar flourish]

710
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Guitar phrase]

711
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Christopher Lopez.
All the way from Greenfield California.

712
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Applause]

713
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Placeholder]

714
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Who can shave an egg?

715
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Irish accent]
You were born into a raw deal.

716
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's not the detail.
Two decades' worth of therapy.

717
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Chalk it up to life on earth.
Everybody pays.

718
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We're responsible for investing
our lives with meaning.

719
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You make vengeance your god,
saieth you, you who are.

720
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You can't hide an eel in a sack.

721
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The man deserves what he got, huh?
He was fat. Jabba the Hut rotund.

722
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He lied in court.
He suborned perjury.

723
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then got a restrainin' order.
They took away your gun.

724
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, ya had some new songs.
Ya found a studio in the Yellow Pages.

725
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This was when digital was
replacing analog.

726
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He lied to you, that his
Roland 680 was state of the art.

727
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You later learned it was
only fit for home demos.

728
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He set up the studio
in his home rec room.

729
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He said he'd back up
each day's work.

730
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
After three months
in the Pac Man studio,

731
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he erased an instrumental track.
He made a big show of

732
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
punchin' buttons,
and he swiveled around,

733
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and said he couldn't
find it in his backup files.

734
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There were no backup files.

735
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You decided to mix everything
as fast as possible, then get out

736
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if other bits turned up missing.
You extracted what you could,

737
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and sent the Pac Man
a [?]

738
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Prompted by his attorney,
he asked the Judge,

739
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Why, if he was so incompetent,
you spent 3 months in his studio?"

740
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, you replied
that you recorded all the material

741
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
before you missed it.
And so you didn't [?]

742
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
until much later.

743
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The fat man brought in
a psychiatrist.

744
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[German accent]
"For analyze your lyrics.

745
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And to testify that someone
as sick as you should never

746
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
have been allowed
into the fat man's home."

747
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Irish accent] You printed up
2 dozen flyers,

748
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
advertising the fat man's address
as a recording studio

749
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
with an absurdly low hourly rate.

750
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wearin' surgical gloves, ya papered
the black sections of Seaside.

751
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Next ya heard, a crackhead shot him
in a home invasion.

752
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It is hard for an empty bag
to sit upright.

753
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She...was...an actress.

754
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A refugee from Hollywood's 
enervatin' rituals.

755
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Workin' in a nearby record shop.

756
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
By now, CDs were on their way out,
and only connoisseurs purchased vinyl.

757
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Some afternoons, you had her
all to yourself.

758
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When she mentioned her husband
in passing,

759
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you remarked that she wore no ring.

760
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"That's because I might be cast
as an unmarried woman," she said.

761
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I can't even risk an indentation
on my finger."

762
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh-ho! The sacrifices we make for art.

763
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You reason that such a blemish
would not be visible at all on stage.

764
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You concluded that, consciously or not,
the real blemish on her life

765
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
was her marriage.

766
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, actresses are always ready
to talk about themselves.

767
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It was therefore easy to learn
that her husband was

768
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
4 years younger than she, and
somethin' of a psychological basket case.

769
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Takin' a break from his video games,
Chubby Hubby wandered in one foggy day,

770
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
sayin' he needed her email password.

771
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Pullin' him by his elbow
into the British Invasion aisle,

772
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
she told him no.

773
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Though you tried invisibility,
Chubby Hubby judged you

774
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to have witnessed his
emasculation.

775
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Glarin' at ya from below the brim
of his skull and bones festooned cap,

776
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the would-be cuckold said, sotto-voce,
"So. Who's the music lover?"

777
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Call me Seattle Grant," you said,
extending your hand

778
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as he lumbered past ya
into misty Pacific Grove.

779
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[?] wife, busy herself,


780
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
put Jerry and the Pacemakers'
Greatest Hits.

781
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
To cut down an oak,
and set up a strawberry.

782
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
With her permission, you use them
as a model, as would a painter.

783
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Except you spent no time together.

784
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You enrolled her as a concubine
in your imaginary harem.

785
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You were a kind and generous Sultan.

786
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
On your wedding night,
you excused her lack of virginity,

787
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
having suffered years of
phallic intrusion by Chubby Hubby.

788
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She wept.
You consoled her

789
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
by composing the first of dozens of
adorational ballads to your muse.

790
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
As time passed,
you'd enter the used record store, and

791
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
covertly examine her face, her neck,
and her arms, for bruises

792
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or lacerations left by your
un[?] surrogate.

793
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She always passed inspection,
but you were certain he abused her.

794
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
As your fantasy wife, she accompanied you
to Majorca,

795
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and other Mediterranean destinations.

796
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ooh, there was a menage a trois in Ibiza.
An orgy in Algiers.

797
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She confessed that her pre-coital
fantasies of Arab men were not being met.

798
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ya Googled her,

799
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and accumulated an
incremental biography.

800
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
B. A. in Theater, some knockabout
years in Hollywood,

801
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
before she followed a 
National Guardsman to Ford Ord.

802
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nuptials were soon ruptured
by shock and awe.

803
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The war, not the wedding night.

804
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Chubby Hubby forged a discharge,
and they settled in Pacific Grove.

805
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She supported her 'acting habit' 
at the record store,

806
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
while Chubby Hubby
"looked for a job."

807
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You confess.
You smell the discord.

808
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I'm plottin' to liberate her
from the slacker."

809
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You casually handed her
recordings of your latest songs.

810
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sighting the odd article on adultery,
you don the surgical gloves,

811
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
clip it out, and mail it anonymously
to her.

812
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You concur.
You inquire after his well-being,

813
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as she stuffed used CDs in a bag,
and received your cash.

814
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One day, you grazed her palm with
your guitarists' lengthy fingernails.

815
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She pretended not to notice.

816
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Undone, as a man would
undo an oyster.

817
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She was the product of 
Manifest Destiny and genocide.

818
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The rape of the New World
by the Old.

819
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Immune to the fallacy
of white liberal guilt,

820
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you prized her hybrid charms.

821
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The shiny, raven, 
Native American hair

822
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
curled by old English blood
into a frizzy electric storm.

823
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Her alien almond eyes.

824
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The cafe-au-lait skin,
smooth as porcelain.

825
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Local theater stretched her thespian
talent in all the wrong ways.

826
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Each company trumpeted
its speakin' of truth to power

827
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
all of 'em bleatin' to the
leftist choir.

828
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Cuttin' edge exposes
of Joe McCarthy.

829
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
50 years too late.

830
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Investigations of
racism and homophobia

831
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as though penned by the
Soviet Central Committee

832
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for Cultural Enlightenment,
circa 1968.

833
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You venture to a staged reading
of a George Bernard Shaw trifle,

834
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a two-hander exposin' early 20th
century British attitudes toward

835
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
matrimony, which the program
promised would

836
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Blow the roof off the 
patriarchy."

837
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Fearful you'll emit 
a tell-tale snore,