0:00:00.240,0:00:03.001
mental health is not the mystery[br]that it once was

0:00:03.001,0:00:06.791
although there's a lot of things we [br]don't know about how the brain works

0:00:06.791,0:00:09.480
or why people feel certain things[br]or what makes it better,

0:00:09.480,0:00:12.350
there also is a lot that we have [br]figured out since the days

0:00:12.350,0:00:16.408
of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung[br]and those early pioneers of psychology.

0:00:16.767,0:00:19.808
There are many things that we can[br]definitively say:

0:00:19.808,0:00:24.373
"If you do this thing you will see[br]some amount of improvement ."

0:00:24.851,0:00:27.720
The problem is that a lot[br]of these proven strategies

0:00:27.720,0:00:30.225
for improving mental health are difficult,

0:00:30.225,0:00:32.669
uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement;

0:00:33.016,0:00:37.540
and a trap I see people get sucked into[br]all the time is they keep looking

0:00:37.540,0:00:40.934
for new solutions, new answers, new ideas,

0:00:40.934,0:00:43.735
not because they don't have any solutions

0:00:44.005,0:00:46.821
but because they don't like[br]the solutions they have.

0:00:46.922,0:00:50.167
They don't want to implement the things[br]that they already know

0:00:50.167,0:00:54.886
and so they spend hours and hours[br]reading books listening to podcasts

0:00:54.886,0:01:00.320
watching YouTube videos to try to find[br]an easier faster or more convenient way

0:01:00.320,0:01:03.680
to make the changes they already know[br]they should be making.

0:01:03.829,0:01:07.366
The thing about this is it's at best[br]this is procrastination

0:01:07.366,0:01:09.075
at worst it's avoidance.

0:01:09.220,0:01:14.203
Sometimes we need to stop acquiring[br]new information and focus

0:01:14.203,0:01:17.052
on applying the information[br]we already have.

0:01:17.052,0:01:19.825
And rather than looking[br]for that magic bullet, so to speak,

0:01:19.825,0:01:24.609
work on creating a foundation[br]combined with all of the things

0:01:24.609,0:01:28.500
we already know are definitely going[br]to help us if we could get them going.

0:01:28.800,0:01:32.595
When I hear somebody in therapy say:[br]"I've tried everything",

0:01:33.140,0:01:37.314
what they usually mean is:[br]I've tried everything that I want to try".

0:01:37.684,0:01:41.292
So that's why today instead of presenting[br]a new concept,

0:01:41.292,0:01:45.149
I'm going to review some things[br]that you probably already know,

0:01:45.489,0:01:51.118
but what I am hoping to do is maybe[br]present them in a new or novel way

0:01:51.118,0:01:55.411
that will make them feel more accessible,[br]more attainable

0:01:55.805,0:01:58.433
or more applicable[br]than they previously did.

0:01:59.240,0:02:01.880
So, without further ado[br]here are seven things

0:02:01.880,0:02:04.569
that you probably already know[br]you should be doing

0:02:04.836,0:02:07.316
but might be struggling to implement[br]into your life.

0:02:07.480,0:02:11.034
And the first is doing things[br]that you are scared to do,

0:02:11.034,0:02:14.095
in other words exposure therapy,[br]facing your fears.

0:02:14.525,0:02:19.548
Your comfort zone only grows[br]when you are not in it.

0:02:19.879,0:02:23.120
This is critical for you to understand.

0:02:23.120,0:02:27.927
And engaging in activities that cause you[br]anxiety or that cause you discomfort

0:02:27.927,0:02:31.985
is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching[br]your emotional range

0:02:31.985,0:02:35.345
in the same way that something[br]like yoga or calisthenics

0:02:35.480,0:02:37.615
is like stretching your movement range.

0:02:38.160,0:02:41.900
It doesn't necessarily feel great[br]while you are doing it.

0:02:41.900,0:02:45.291
In fact it can often be an unpleasant[br]experience while you're doing it.

0:02:45.291,0:02:49.808
But if you do it regularly,[br]navigating the world

0:02:49.808,0:02:52.691
becomes more enjoyable and less painful.

0:02:52.819,0:02:54.512
And you're less likely to get hurt:

0:02:54.560,0:02:57.952
if you stretch regularly,[br]you are less likely to hurt your body

0:02:57.952,0:02:59.800
when you're out and about[br]moving around

0:02:59.800,0:03:03.470
and there's fewer situations that you're[br]unable to physically navigate, right?

0:03:03.548,0:03:07.108
When you practice regular exposure therapy[br]and work on

0:03:07.108,0:03:09.375
in a sort of a planned strategic manner

0:03:09.375,0:03:13.647
facing, and hopefully eventually[br]conquering the things you are afraid of,

0:03:13.647,0:03:16.545
the world starts to open up to you.

0:03:16.545,0:03:21.344
It becomes more accessible and less scary[br]because there are fewer situations

0:03:21.344,0:03:26.035
you can imagine that you would find[br]yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety.

0:03:26.233,0:03:30.505
This is a huge part of why I used to be[br]so isolated when I was younger,

0:03:30.505,0:03:33.751
it's because I was terrified of doing[br]literally everything

0:03:33.751,0:03:36.848
other than playing video games in my room,[br]to be honest with you.

0:03:37.183,0:03:41.536
And so I avoided people I avoided[br]opportunity, I avoided school,

0:03:41.536,0:03:45.723
I avoided work because I felt like[br]I had so few skills

0:03:45.723,0:03:48.769
and so little coping ability that[br]it was only a matter of time

0:03:48.769,0:03:51.993
before I'd encounter a situation[br]that would completely overwhelm me,

0:03:51.993,0:03:54.670
so I didn't enter situations like[br]literally I just didn't

0:03:55.026,0:03:59.509
The more confidence you have[br]about your ability to navigate

0:03:59.509,0:04:02.915
these stressful situations[br]the less scary life becomes

0:04:02.915,0:04:04.983
and the more opportunities you have.

0:04:04.983,0:04:08.163
The second thing that you probably[br]already know you should be doing

0:04:08.163,0:04:12.500
but might be struggling to do[br]is taking good care of your living space.

0:04:12.500,0:04:16.051
Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person,[br]you are going to spend

0:04:16.051,0:04:19.091
the vast majority of your life[br]in two environments:

0:04:19.091,0:04:21.581
the place that you work[br]and the place that you live.

0:04:21.581,0:04:24.156
Now the place you live: you might own[br]your entire home,

0:04:24.156,0:04:25.930
you might rent, you might have a room

0:04:25.930,0:04:26.650
you might have a condo.

0:04:26.650,0:04:29.681
Whatever you have you have[br]an environment that you call home.

0:04:29.970,0:04:32.587
And so these two environments,[br]your work and your home,

0:04:32.587,0:04:36.333
they have a tremendous impact[br]on your mental health

0:04:36.560,0:04:40.100
if for no reason, no other reason,[br]I should say, than volume.

0:04:40.100,0:04:42.556
They're where you spend[br]the majority of your time

0:04:42.556,0:04:45.765
and so the way they look,[br]the way they feel, the way they function,

0:04:45.765,0:04:49.058
is critical to your emotional well-being-

0:04:49.058,0:04:52.807
We know that the environments[br]that you spend your time in

0:04:53.080,0:04:55.807
have a huge impact on your mental health.

0:04:56.199,0:04:59.154
And basically, what it comes down to[br]for me, my phrasing is,

0:04:59.154,0:05:02.317
if you're your home doesn't feel[br]comfortable to you,

0:05:02.539,0:05:06.680
you basically never feel like your home,[br]it's like you don't have a home,

0:05:06.996,0:05:09.394
you don't have a space: you have a home

0:05:09.681,0:05:14.340
but what you don't have is a space[br]in this world that feels right to you:

0:05:14.549,0:05:17.067
that's what you're missing[br]and we all need that

0:05:17.067,0:05:19.033
and I believe we all deserve that.

0:05:19.033,0:05:22.115
But you will not have one[br]unless you make one

0:05:22.115,0:05:24.965
you're the one that has to create[br]and maintain it;

0:05:24.965,0:05:27.975
and I don't always like that either[br]but I don't make the rules,

0:05:27.975,0:05:30.442
I just report on them[br]and this is the way we work

0:05:30.442,0:05:35.133
Taking good care of your environment[br]can be a very time-consuming task

0:05:35.133,0:05:37.941
especially if you've neglected it[br]for a long time

0:05:37.993,0:05:40.894
but remember that you don't have[br]to do it all at once, right?

0:05:40.894,0:05:44.958
Start small do a little bit each day[br]and before you know it

0:05:45.308,0:05:47.322
maybe your heart will have a home again

0:05:47.482,0:05:51.738
and that's something that can be[br]invaluable for our mental health journey.

0:05:51.988,0:05:54.871
The third thing you probably already know[br]you should be doing

0:05:54.871,0:05:56.320
but might be struggling to do

0:05:56.320,0:05:59.387
is to actually Implement[br]sleep hygiene techniques.

0:05:59.639,0:06:01.662
There are two types of insomnia:

0:06:02.000,0:06:04.955
there's clinical insomnia and[br]there's behavioral insomnia.

0:06:05.681,0:06:07.847
Clinical insomnia is when,[br]for the most part,

0:06:07.847,0:06:09.350
you are doing things right:

0:06:09.440,0:06:13.068
your day is structured in a way that[br]should allow you to fall asleep

0:06:13.068,0:06:16.155
and stay asleep reasonably well[br]but you are unable to do so

0:06:16.155,0:06:17.870
and it takes hours to fall asleep.

0:06:17.870,0:06:21.752
Behavioral insomnia is when[br]you have a double shot at 300 p.m.,

0:06:22.027,0:06:25.647
you get into bed at 11:00 p.m.,[br]you scroll on your phone till midnight,

0:06:25.647,0:06:27.918
then you toss and turn[br]until 3 in the morning.

0:06:28.150,0:06:31.840
In other words, you have insomnia[br]but it's because of choices you're making,

0:06:31.840,0:06:34.848
it's not because your brain doesn't know[br]how to go to sleep,

0:06:34.848,0:06:37.051
it's because you're not letting it[br]go to sleep

0:06:37.051,0:06:40.440
and you've set up your life in a way[br]that simply does not support sleep.

0:06:40.440,0:06:42.168
Most people who struggle with sleep

0:06:42.168,0:06:45.749
have behavioral insomnia,[br]not clinical insomnia

0:06:45.990,0:06:50.035
Clinical insomnia is actually[br]relatively rare and it's usually a matter

0:06:50.035,0:06:53.191
of lifestyle and habits[br]that are primarily facilitating

0:06:53.191,0:06:55.682
the experience of insomnia.

0:06:55.682,0:06:57.319
So my question to you would be:

0:06:57.633,0:07:00.541
"Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene

0:07:00.541,0:07:03.614
and suffering clinical insomnia[br]as a result

0:07:03.614,0:07:06.499
or are you self-sabotaging[br]and then complaining about it?"

0:07:06.788,0:07:09.352
Because -- not to put[br]too fine a point on it --

0:07:09.352,0:07:12.421
but that's basically[br]what behavioral insomnia is:

0:07:12.421,0:07:16.754
you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm[br]oversimplifying things a little bit --

0:07:17.081,0:07:20.418
you're making it as difficult as possible[br]for your brain to fall asleep

0:07:20.418,0:07:23.190
and then being, like:[br]"Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?"

0:07:23.190,0:07:26.460
I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting[br]your sleep cycle in a sense.

0:07:26.460,0:07:29.880
It's a weird way to think of it. I know,[br]but that's kind of what you're doing.

0:07:29.880,0:07:33.833
If you struggle with insomnia,[br]take a real honest inventory

0:07:33.833,0:07:36.921
of your nighttime routine[br]and ask yourself:

0:07:36.921,0:07:41.387
"Do I think it's reasonable that I should[br]be able to fall asleep pretty quickly

0:07:41.387,0:07:44.159
or am I basically taking everything[br]I know about sleep,

0:07:44.159,0:07:45.449
throwing it out the window

0:07:45.449,0:07:47.199
and thinking that's still going to work?"

0:07:47.199,0:07:48.242
Because it won't.

0:07:48.242,0:07:50.874
You're -- you have a brain[br]and you have a nervous system

0:07:50.874,0:07:55.833
and we know a lot about how these factors[br]affect our ability to fall asleep

0:07:55.833,0:07:57.120
and stay asleep.

0:07:57.120,0:07:59.870
And so sleep is not really a mystery,

0:07:59.870,0:08:03.396
it's just that most people[br]aren't doing it right and that's really

0:08:03.396,0:08:06.360
what I want you to consider if you're[br]struggling with insomnia:

0:08:06.360,0:08:09.770
"Am I am I doing it right or am I just[br]gaslighting my own sleep cycle?"

0:08:09.770,0:08:12.780
The 4th thing that you probably[br]already know you should be doing

0:08:12.780,0:08:14.337
but might be having trouble with

0:08:14.337,0:08:17.561
is minimizing or eliminating[br]drug and alcohol use

0:08:17.711,0:08:21.602
Now this one's a little bit different,[br]I know, because this one is harder

0:08:21.602,0:08:24.673
for a person to control directly[br]than some of the other topics

0:08:24.673,0:08:28.036
we're going to discuss here and[br]believe me, I am understanding of that.

0:08:28.268,0:08:32.140
Most people who use drugs and alcohol[br]use them because they want to feel

0:08:32.140,0:08:35.100
anything other than what it is like[br]to be themselves

0:08:35.510,0:08:39.199
and it seems like nothing could possibly[br]worse than just waking up today

0:08:39.199,0:08:42.708
and feeling like me -- and frankly I know[br]what that feeling is like.

0:08:43.143,0:08:46.533
Substances put you on a physical[br]and mental roller coaster, though,

0:08:46.717,0:08:49.800
where instead of changing[br]what it feels like to be you,

0:08:49.800,0:08:53.252
which is ultimately the reality[br]that you are struggling with

0:08:53.252,0:08:57.357
you are temporarily escaping[br]what it feels like to be you

0:08:57.357,0:09:02.396
and when the escape wears up off[br]you often feel even worse than before

0:09:02.396,0:09:07.200
and therefore you feel an even stronger[br]desire to escape from yourself,

0:09:07.200,0:09:09.750
which manifests as increased substance use

0:09:09.750,0:09:12.589
and creates a downward spiral that[br]the longer it goes on

0:09:12.589,0:09:16.300
becomes harder and harder[br]to extricate yourself from.

0:09:16.434,0:09:20.023
So if this is you, and I have a little bit[br]of a different idea for you here,

0:09:20.023,0:09:23.480
because everything else in this video[br]has been about "here's what you can do".

0:09:23.480,0:09:25.640
If you're struggling with drug[br]and alcohol use

0:09:25.640,0:09:28.379
and the pattern I just described[br]kind of sounds like you,

0:09:28.379,0:09:31.060
maybe it's time to admit that[br]you cannot do this alone

0:09:31.060,0:09:33.190
and that you need some help[br]with this problem

0:09:33.190,0:09:38.267
Substance misuse is probably[br]the hardest mental health condition

0:09:38.267,0:09:41.882
to treat without support,[br]maybe tied with eating disorders

0:09:41.882,0:09:43.913
because they're very similar[br]neurologically

0:09:43.913,0:09:47.349
and I think that's mainly because[br]it's so easy to lie to yourself.

0:09:47.800,0:09:50.485
And, you know, most people[br]aren't deceiving themselves

0:09:50.485,0:09:54.017
about their depression or their anxiety[br]so, like, well, it's not that bad.

0:09:54.470,0:09:56.533
Usually you face those things[br]pretty head on

0:09:56.533,0:09:58.600
you're like no this is awful[br]and I need help

0:09:58.600,0:10:01.934
but when it comes to things that produce[br]a momentary sense of reward

0:10:01.934,0:10:04.628
like eating disorders and substance misuse

0:10:05.225,0:10:07.881
you tend to rationalize,[br]you tend to explain,

0:10:07.881,0:10:10.799
you tend to minimize,[br]you tend to make excuses.

0:10:10.799,0:10:15.756
And if you've had several unsuccessful[br]attempts at changing those habits

0:10:15.756,0:10:20.351
for yourself, maybe it's time to stop[br]putting so much pressure on yourself,

0:10:20.351,0:10:23.955
to accept some help and to accept[br]some support in this domain.

0:10:24.070,0:10:27.664
There is no shame in that: this is[br]typically not a solo endeavor

0:10:27.664,0:10:30.270
and it might be time to think[br]about asking for for help

0:10:30.270,0:10:31.967
The fifth thing that you probably already[br]know you should be doing

0:10:31.967,0:10:33.804
but might be having a hard time doing

0:10:33.804,0:10:35.660
is being physically active every day.

0:10:35.660,0:10:37.800
So I mean, this one is no mystery right?

0:10:37.800,0:10:40.420
You probably had a million people[br]tell you this already,

0:10:40.420,0:10:41.881
including your doctor every time[br]you see them

0:10:41.881,0:10:44.680
and every other medical professional[br]you interact with.

0:10:44.680,0:10:47.240
You've probably heard it so many times[br]that you're sick of hearing it

0:10:47.240,0:10:49.988
and you have an innate automatic[br]defensive response

0:10:49.988,0:10:51.460
when someone says this to you.

0:10:51.460,0:10:55.167
So sorry about that, because I probably[br]just triggered it but here's the thing:

0:10:55.320,0:10:58.751
your brain needs blood your brain[br]does not work very well

0:10:58.751,0:11:02.611
if it does not have healthy[br]accessible blood flow.

0:11:02.611,0:11:05.230
It's literally one of the resources[br]your brain runs on,

0:11:05.230,0:11:09.773
it's like gasoline for your brain and[br]most of us have very sedentary lifestyles

0:11:09.773,0:11:12.839
which negatively impact[br]our cardiovascular health.

0:11:12.839,0:11:16.008
I mean, that's that's just the way[br]society is, it's not your fault.

0:11:16.010,0:11:19.160
That's the way society has gone:[br]most jobs don't use our bodies.

0:11:19.160,0:11:21.542
If you have a very physically active job

0:11:21.542,0:11:23.266
you probably don't need to worry[br]about this because

0:11:23.266,0:11:26.369
you are physically active every day,[br]it doesn't have to be extra,

0:11:26.369,0:11:28.364
it doesn't have to be prescribed exercise

0:11:28.364,0:11:32.394
if you get this in from your job[br]or from your kids or whatever: fine.

0:11:32.394,0:11:34.519
But if you're like me

0:11:34.519,0:11:37.881
and you literally just sit on your butt[br]for nine hours a day at work,

0:11:37.881,0:11:42.742
you need to add this if your[br]predefined life doesn't have enough of it.

0:11:42.742,0:11:47.583
I'm not a fan of how society[br]has made us so sedentary

0:11:47.583,0:11:51.921
but it is what it is since your brain[br]needs blood to work right.

0:11:51.921,0:11:55.060
Cardiovascular health is brain health.

0:11:55.060,0:11:58.795
if you constantly feel foggy, forgetful,[br]distracted or moody,

0:11:58.979,0:12:01.981
it might be because your brain[br]doesn't have enough blood flow

0:12:01.981,0:12:05.020
it might be because your brain[br]doesn't have one of the resources

0:12:05.020,0:12:07.757
that it needs to keep your prefrontal[br]cortex powered on.

0:12:07.757,0:12:10.556
Because all the things that I just said[br]live there

0:12:11.007,0:12:14.251
and when your brain is lacking in any[br]essential resource

0:12:14.251,0:12:16.543
-- blood, oxygen, rest[br]or caloric energy --

0:12:16.543,0:12:20.366
it enters a low power mode, much like[br]what's on your phone

0:12:20.366,0:12:22.590
or your tablet or your laptop,

0:12:22.590,0:12:25.502
and certain processes don't work as well[br]as they normally do.

0:12:25.502,0:12:28.685
The first part of the brain[br]that takes the hit

0:12:28.685,0:12:31.270
when we're low on resources[br]is the prefrontal cortex:

0:12:31.270,0:12:34.159
it's executive functioning,[br]it's emotion regulation

0:12:34.159,0:12:35.750
it's social engagement.

0:12:35.750,0:12:37.960
So, if those are things[br]you're struggling with,

0:12:37.960,0:12:40.050
it's probably because your brain[br]doesn't have

0:12:40.050,0:12:42.446
all the resources it needs to[br]do its job properly.

0:12:42.446,0:12:45.563
The one thing I always try to emphasize[br]with physical activity too

0:12:45.563,0:12:48.900
is the way you do it[br]really doesn't matter:

0:12:49.130,0:12:51.199
if you want to lift weights, lift weights;

0:12:51.199,0:12:52.359
if you want to run, run; ////

0:12:52.359,0:12:53.600
if you want to do team sports, [br]do team sports;

0:12:53.600,0:12:55.920
if you hate some certain type[br]of exercise, don't do it.

0:12:57.600,0:12:59.760
it's not it's not hugely critical[br]how you do it

0:13:02.360,0:13:05.120
it's just critical that you do it.

0:13:05.120,0:13:08.279
So find something that you[br]either like ideally.

0:13:08.279,0:13:09.800
If there's nothing,[br]like literally nothing,

0:13:09.800,0:13:11.160
find the thing you hate the least.

0:13:11.160,0:13:14.399
It can be some weird obscure thing:

0:13:14.399,0:13:16.720
maybe you want to get into hobby horsing,

0:13:16.720,0:13:18.000
and if you don't know what that is,[br]you should look it up on social media.

0:13:19.760,0:13:21.920
It's a fascinating world[br]if you do know what it is.

0:13:21.920,0:13:23.880
I appreciate the people who understand[br]my obscure references

0:13:25.440,0:13:28.600
because there are many of them.

0:13:28.600,0:13:29.959
Just do something to get that blood[br]going to your brain.

0:13:29.959,0:13:32.920
You might be amazed how much it helps, [br]you really might be amazed.

0:13:35.959,0:13:38.959
The sixth and final thing that you probably[br]-- asterisk to this one --

0:13:38.959,0:13:40.920
probably know you should be doing[br]but are probably having trouble doing

0:13:42.800,0:13:45.320
is to stop beating yourself up[br]about how long it is taking

0:13:45.320,0:13:47.560
to get your life in order.

0:13:47.560,0:13:50.360
Now I realize that you might[br]have been doing that

0:13:52.120,0:13:54.680
throughout this video already[br]because as I'm saying things

0:13:56.320,0:13:58.199
that you probably already knew[br]you should be doing,

0:13:58.199,0:13:59.399
you might have been beating yourself up,[br]guilt tripping yourself, shaming yourself,

0:14:01.480,0:14:04.440
and if you were knock it off right now.

0:14:04.440,0:14:06.880
Sorry I had to say it that way,

0:14:06.880,0:14:09.279
but seriously you're not doing yourself[br]any favors.

0:14:09.279,0:14:12.320
We all have enough pressure on us already,[br]probably more than enough pressure

0:14:13.519,0:14:15.079
probably a maladaptive amount of pressure,

0:14:15.079,0:14:17.399
and change is hard.

0:14:17.399,0:14:19.480
Our brains actively resist it[br]because they're wired for homeostasis

0:14:23.440,0:14:25.880
We associate familiarity[br]with safety and with security

0:14:25.880,0:14:27.920
and on a very basic survival level,

0:14:27.920,0:14:30.440
we fight back against[br]our own attempts to change.

0:14:30.440,0:14:32.759
Putting too much pressure on yourself[br]tends to keep you stuck

0:14:32.759,0:14:35.639
So try patience and gentleness instead[br]and see what happens.

0:14:38.279,0:14:41.720
It is amazing what people can do[br]when they finally feel understood

0:14:43.759,0:14:46.040
and are treated with respect[br]and compassion.

0:14:46.040,0:14:48.440
And it is very possible that the person[br]most standing in your way

0:14:49.920,0:14:51.720
of feeling those things and[br]experiencing those things is you.