WEBVTT

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mental health is not the mystery
that it once was

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although there's a lot of things we 
don't know about how the brain works

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or why people feel certain things
or what makes it better,

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there also is a lot that we have 
figured out since the days

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of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung
and those early pioneers of psychology.

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There are many things that we can
definitively say:

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"If you do this thing you will see
some amount of improvement ."

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The problem is that a lot
of these proven strategies

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for improving mental health are difficult,

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uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement;

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and a trap I see people get sucked into
all the time is they keep looking

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for new solutions, new answers, new ideas,

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not because they don't have any solutions

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but because they don't like
the solutions they have.

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They don't want to implement the things
that they already know

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and so they spend hours and hours
reading books listening to podcasts

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watching YouTube videos to try to find
an easier faster or more convenient way

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to make the changes they already know
they should be making.

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The thing about this is it's at best
this is procrastination

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at worst it's avoidance.

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Sometimes we need to stop acquiring
new information and focus

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on applying the information
we already have.

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And rather than looking
for that magic bullet, so to speak,

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work on creating a foundation
combined with all of the things

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we already know are definitely going
to help us if we could get them going.

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When I hear somebody in therapy say:
"I've tried everything",

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what they usually mean is:
I've tried everything that I want to try".

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So that's why today instead of presenting
a new concept,

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I'm going to review some things
that you probably already know,

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but what I am hoping to do is maybe
present them in a new or novel way

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that will make them feel more accessible,
more attainable

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or more applicable
than they previously did.

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So, without further ado
here are seven things

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that you probably already know
you should be doing

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but might be struggling to implement
into your life.

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And the first is doing things
that you are scared to do,

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in other words exposure therapy,
facing your fears.

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Your comfort zone only grows
when you are not in it.

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This is critical for you to understand.

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And engaging in activities that cause you
anxiety or that cause you discomfort

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is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching
your emotional range

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in the same way that something
like yoga or calisthenics

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is like stretching your movement range.

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It doesn't necessarily feel great
while you are doing it.

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In fact it can often be an unpleasant
experience while you're doing it.

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But if you do it regularly,
navigating the world

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becomes more enjoyable and less painful.

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And you're less likely to get hurt:

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if you stretch regularly,
you are less likely to hurt your body

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when you're out and about
moving around

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and there's fewer situations that you're
unable to physically navigate, right?

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When you practice regular exposure therapy
and work on

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in a sort of a planned strategic manner

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facing, and hopefully eventually
conquering the things you are afraid of,

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the world starts to open up to you.

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It becomes more accessible and less scary
because there are fewer situations

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you can imagine that you would find
yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety.

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This is a huge part of why I used to be
so isolated when I was younger,

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it's because I was terrified of doing
literally everything

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other than playing video games in my room,
to be honest with you.

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And so I avoided people I avoided
opportunity, I avoided school,

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I avoided work because I felt like
I had so few skills

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and so little coping ability that
it was only a matter of time

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before I'd encounter a situation
that would completely overwhelm me,

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so I didn't enter situations like
literally I just didn't

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The more confidence you have
about your ability to navigate

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these stressful situations
the less scary life becomes

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and the more opportunities you have.

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The second thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

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but might be struggling to do
is taking good care of your living space.

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Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person,
you are going to spend

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the vast majority of your life
in two environments:

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the place that you work
and the place that you live.

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Now the place you live: you might own
your entire home,

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you might rent, you might have a room

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you might have a condo.

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Whatever you have you have
an environment that you call home.

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And so these two environments,
your work and your home,

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they have a tremendous impact
on your mental health

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if for no reason, no other reason,
I should say, than volume.

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They're where you spend
the majority of your time

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and so the way they look,
the way they feel, the way they function,

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is critical to your emotional well-being-

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We know that the environments
that you spend your time in

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have a huge impact on your mental health.

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And basically, what it comes down to
for me, my phrasing is,

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if you're your home doesn't feel
comfortable to you,

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you basically never feel like your home,
it's like you don't have a home,

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you don't have a space: you have a home

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but what you don't have is a space
in this world that feels right to you:

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that's what you're missing
and we all need that

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and I believe we all deserve that.

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But you will not have one
unless you make one

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you're the one that has to create
and maintain it;

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and I don't always like that either
but I don't make the rules,

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I just report on them
and this is the way we work

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Taking good care of your environment
can be a very time-consuming task

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especially if you've neglected it
for a long time

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but remember that you don't have
to do it all at once, right?

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Start small do a little bit each day
and before you know it

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maybe your heart will have a home again

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and that's something that can be
invaluable for our mental health journey.

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The third thing you probably already know
you should be doing

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but might be struggling to do

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is to actually Implement
sleep hygiene techniques.

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There are two types of insomnia:

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there's clinical insomnia and
there's behavioral insomnia.

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Clinical insomnia is when,
for the most part,

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you are doing things right:

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your day is structured in a way that
should allow you to fall asleep

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and stay asleep reasonably well
but you are unable to do so

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and it takes hours to fall asleep.

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Behavioral insomnia is when
you have a double shot at 300 p.m.,

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you get into bed at 11:00 p.m.,
you scroll on your phone till midnight,

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then you toss and turn
until 3 in the morning.

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In other words, you have insomnia
but it's because of choices you're making,

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it's not because your brain doesn't know
how to go to sleep,

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it's because you're not letting it
go to sleep

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and you've set up your life in a way
that simply does not support sleep.

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Most people who struggle with sleep

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have behavioral insomnia,
not clinical insomnia

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Clinical insomnia is actually
relatively rare and it's usually a matter

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of lifestyle and habits
that are primarily facilitating

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the experience of insomnia.

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So my question to you would be:

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"Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene

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and suffering clinical insomnia
as a result

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or are you self-sabotaging
and then complaining about it?"

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Because -- not to put
too fine a point on it --

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but that's basically
what behavioral insomnia is:

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you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm
oversimplifying things a little bit --

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you're making it as difficult as possible
for your brain to fall asleep

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and then being, like:
"Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?"

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I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting
your sleep cycle in a sense.

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It's a weird way to think of it. I know,
but that's kind of what you're doing.

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If you struggle with insomnia,
take a real honest inventory

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of your nighttime routine
and ask yourself:

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"Do I think it's reasonable that I should
be able to fall asleep pretty quickly

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or am I basically taking everything
I know about sleep,

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throwing it out the window

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and thinking that's still going to work?"

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Because it won't.

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You're -- you have a brain
and you have a nervous system

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and we know a lot about how these factors
affect our ability to fall asleep

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and stay asleep.

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And so sleep is not really a mystery,

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it's just that most people
aren't doing it right and that's really

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what I want you to consider if you're
struggling with insomnia:

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"Am I am I doing it right or am I just
gaslighting my own sleep cycle?"

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The 4th thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

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but might be having trouble with

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is minimizing or eliminating
drug and alcohol use

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Now this one's a little bit different,
I know, because this one is harder

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for a person to control directly
than some of the other topics

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we're going to discuss here and
believe me, I am understanding of that.

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Most people who use drugs and alcohol
use them because they want to feel

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anything other than what it is like
to be themselves

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and it seems like nothing could possibly
worse than just waking up today

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and feeling like me -- and frankly I know
what that feeling is like.

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Substances put you on a physical
and mental roller coaster, though,

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where instead of changing
what it feels like to be you,

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which is ultimately the reality
that you are struggling with

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you are temporarily escaping
what it feels like to be you

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and when the escape wears up off
you often feel even worse than before

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and therefore you feel an even stronger
desire to escape from yourself,

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which manifests as increased substance use

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and creates a downward spiral that
the longer it goes on

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becomes harder and harder
to extricate yourself from.

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So if this is you, and I have a little bit
of a different idea for you here,

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because everything else in this video
has been about "here's what you can do".

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If you're struggling with drug
and alcohol use

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and the pattern I just described
kind of sounds like you,

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maybe it's time to admit that
you cannot do this alone

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and that you need some help
with this problem

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Substance misuse is probably
the hardest mental health condition

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to treat without support,
maybe tied with eating disorders

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because they're very similar
neurologically

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and I think that's mainly because
it's so easy to lie to yourself.

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And, you know, most people
aren't deceiving themselves

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about their depression or their anxiety
so, like, well, it's not that bad.

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Usually you face those things
pretty head on

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you're like no this is awful
and I need help

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but when it comes to things that produce
a momentary sense of reward

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like eating disorders and substance misuse

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you tend to rationalize,
you tend to explain,

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you tend to minimize,
you tend to make excuses.

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And if you've had several unsuccessful
attempts at changing those habits

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for yourself, maybe it's time to stop
putting so much pressure on yourself,

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to accept some help and to accept
some support in this domain.

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There is no shame in that: this is typically
not a solo endeavor

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and it might be time to think
about asking for for help

NOTE Paragraph

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The fifth thing that you probably already
know you should be doing

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but might be having a hard time doing
is being physically active every day.

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So I mean, this one is no mystery right?

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You probably had a million people
tell you this already,

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including your doctor every time
you see them

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and every other medical professional
you interact with.

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You've probably heard it so many times
that you're sick of hearing it

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and you have an innate automatic
defensive response

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when someone says this to you.

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So sorry about that, because I probably
just triggered it but here's the thing:

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your brain needs blood your brain
does not work very well

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if it does not have healthy
accessible blood flow.

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It's literally one of the resources
your brain runs on,

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it's like gasoline for your brain and
most of us have very sedentary lifestyles

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which negatively impact
our cardiovascular health.

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I mean, that's that's just the way
society is, it's not your fault.

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That's the way society has gone:
most jobs don't use our bodies.

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If you have a very physically active job

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you probably don't need
to worry about this

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because you are physically active
every day.

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It doesn't have to be extra, right?

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it doesn't have to be prescribed exercise

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if you get this in from your job
or from your kids or whatever: fine.

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But if you're like me

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and you literally just sit on your butt
for nine hours a day at work,

NOTE Paragraph

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you need to add this if your
predefined life doesn't have enough of it.

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I'm not a fan of how society
has made us so sedentary

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but it is what it is since your brain
needs blood to work right.

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Cardiovascular health is brain health.

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if you constantly feel foggy, forgetful,
distracted or moody,

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it might be because your brain
doesn't have enough blood flow

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it might be because your brain
doesn't have one of the resources

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that it needs to keep your prefrontal
cortex powered on.

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Because all the things that I just said
live there

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and when your brain is lacking in any
essential resource

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-- blood, oxygen, rest
or caloric energy --

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it enters a low power mode, much like
what's on your phone

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or your tablet or your laptop,

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and certain processes don't work as well
as they normally do.

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The first part of the brain
that takes the hit

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when we're low on resources
is the prefrontal cortex:

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it's executive functioning,
it's emotion regulation

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it's social engagement.

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So, if those are things
you're struggling with,

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it's probably because your brain
doesn't have all the resources it needs

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to do its job properly.

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The one thing I always try to emphasize
with physical activity too

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is like the way you do it really

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doesn't matter if you want to lift

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weights lift weights if you want to run

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run if you want to do team sports do

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team sports like if you hate some

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certain type of exercise don't do it

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it's not it's not huge

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critical how you do it it's just

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critical that you do it so find

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something that you either like ideally

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if there's nothing like literally

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nothing find the thing you hate the

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least it can be some weird obscure thing

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maybe you want to get into hobby horsing

00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:18.000
and if you don't know what that is you

00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.760
should look it up on social media it's a

00:13:19.760 --> 00:13:21.920
fascinating world if you do know what it

00:13:21.920 --> 00:13:23.880
is I appreciate the people who

00:13:23.880 --> 00:13:25.440
understand my obscure references because

00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:28.600
there are many of them just do something

00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:29.959
to get that that blood going to your

00:13:29.959 --> 00:13:32.920
brain you might be amazed how much it

00:13:32.920 --> 00:13:35.959
helps you really might be amazed the

00:13:35.959 --> 00:13:38.959
sixth and final thing that you probably

00:13:38.959 --> 00:13:40.920
asteris did this one probably know you

00:13:40.920 --> 00:13:42.800
should be doing but are probably having

00:13:42.800 --> 00:13:45.320
trouble doing is to stop beating

00:13:45.320 --> 00:13:47.560
yourself up about how long it is taking

00:13:47.560 --> 00:13:50.360
to get your life in order now I realize

00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.120
that you might have been doing that

00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.680
throughout this video already because as

00:13:54.680 --> 00:13:56.320
I'm saying things that you probably

00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:58.199
already knew you should be doing you

00:13:58.199 --> 00:13:59.399
might have been beating yourself up

00:13:59.399 --> 00:14:01.480
guilt tripping yourself shaming yourself

00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:04.440
and if you were knock it off right now

00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:06.880
sorry I had to say it that way but

00:14:06.880 --> 00:14:09.279
seriously you're not doing yourself any

00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:12.320
favors we all have enough pressure on us

00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:13.519
already probably more than enough

00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:15.079
pressure probably a maladaptive amount

00:14:15.079 --> 00:14:17.399
of pressure and changes hard our brains

00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:19.480
actively resist it because they're wired

00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:23.440
for homeostasis we associate familiarity

00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:25.880
with safety and with security and on a

00:14:25.880 --> 00:14:27.920
very basic survival level we fight back

00:14:27.920 --> 00:14:30.440
against our own attempts change putting

00:14:30.440 --> 00:14:32.759
too much pressure on yourself tends to

00:14:32.759 --> 00:14:35.639
keep you stuck so try patience and

00:14:35.639 --> 00:14:38.279
gentleness instead and see what happens

00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:41.720
it is amazing what people can do when

00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:43.759
they finally feel understood and are

00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:46.040
treated with respect and compassion and

00:14:46.040 --> 00:14:48.440
it is very possible that the person most

00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:49.920
standing in your way of feeling those

00:14:49.920 --> 00:14:51.720
things and experiencing those things is

00:14:51.720 --> 00:14:54.240
you