1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,001 mental health is not the mystery that it once was 2 00:00:03,001 --> 00:00:06,791 although there's a lot of things we don't know about how the brain works 3 00:00:06,791 --> 00:00:09,480 or why people feel certain things or what makes it better, 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,350 there also is a lot that we have figured out since the days 5 00:00:12,350 --> 00:00:16,408 of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung and those early pioneers of psychology. 6 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,808 There are many things that we can definitively say: 7 00:00:19,808 --> 00:00:24,373 "If you do this thing you will see some amount of improvement ." 8 00:00:24,851 --> 00:00:27,720 The problem is that a lot of these proven strategies 9 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,225 for improving mental health are difficult, 10 00:00:30,225 --> 00:00:32,669 uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement; 11 00:00:33,016 --> 00:00:37,540 and a trap I see people get sucked into all the time is they keep looking 12 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:40,934 for new solutions, new answers, new ideas, 13 00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:43,735 not because they don't have any solutions 14 00:00:44,005 --> 00:00:46,821 but because they don't like the solutions they have. 15 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:50,167 They don't want to implement the things that they already know 16 00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:54,886 and so they spend hours and hours reading books listening to podcasts 17 00:00:54,886 --> 00:01:00,320 watching YouTube videos to try to find an easier faster or more convenient way 18 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,680 to make the changes they already know they should be making. 19 00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:07,366 The thing about this is it's at best this is procrastination 20 00:01:07,366 --> 00:01:09,075 at worst it's avoidance. 21 00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:14,203 Sometimes we need to stop acquiring new information and focus 22 00:01:14,203 --> 00:01:17,052 on applying the information we already have. 23 00:01:17,052 --> 00:01:19,825 And rather than looking for that magic bullet, so to speak, 24 00:01:19,825 --> 00:01:24,609 work on creating a foundation combined with all of the things 25 00:01:24,609 --> 00:01:28,500 we already know are definitely going to help us if we could get them going. 26 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,595 When I hear somebody in therapy say: "I've tried everything", 27 00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:37,314 what they usually mean is: I've tried everything that I want to try". 28 00:01:37,684 --> 00:01:41,292 So that's why today instead of presenting a new concept, 29 00:01:41,292 --> 00:01:45,149 I'm going to review some things that you probably already know, 30 00:01:45,489 --> 00:01:51,118 but what I am hoping to do is maybe present them in a new or novel way 31 00:01:51,118 --> 00:01:55,411 that will make them feel more accessible, more attainable 32 00:01:55,805 --> 00:01:58,433 or more applicable than they previously did. 33 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,880 So, without further ado here are seven things 34 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,569 that you probably already know you should be doing 35 00:02:04,836 --> 00:02:07,316 but might be struggling to implement into your life. 36 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,034 And the first is doing things that you are scared to do, 37 00:02:11,034 --> 00:02:14,095 in other words exposure therapy, facing your fears. 38 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:19,548 Your comfort zone only grows when you are not in it. 39 00:02:19,879 --> 00:02:23,120 This is critical for you to understand. 40 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,927 And engaging in activities that cause you anxiety or that cause you discomfort 41 00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:31,985 is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching your emotional range 42 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,345 in the same way that something like yoga or calisthenics 43 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,615 is like stretching your movement range. 44 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,900 It doesn't necessarily feel great while you are doing it. 45 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:45,291 In fact it can often be an unpleasant experience while you're doing it. 46 00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:49,808 But if you do it regularly, navigating the world 47 00:02:49,808 --> 00:02:52,691 becomes more enjoyable and less painful. 48 00:02:52,819 --> 00:02:54,512 And you're less likely to get hurt: 49 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,952 if you stretch regularly, you are less likely to hurt your body 50 00:02:57,952 --> 00:02:59,800 when you're out and about moving around 51 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,470 and there's fewer situations that you're unable to physically navigate, right? 52 00:03:03,548 --> 00:03:07,108 When you practice regular exposure therapy and work on 53 00:03:07,108 --> 00:03:09,375 in a sort of a planned strategic manner 54 00:03:09,375 --> 00:03:13,647 facing, and hopefully eventually conquering the things you are afraid of, 55 00:03:13,647 --> 00:03:16,545 the world starts to open up to you. 56 00:03:16,545 --> 00:03:21,344 It becomes more accessible and less scary because there are fewer situations 57 00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:26,035 you can imagine that you would find yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety. 58 00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:30,505 This is a huge part of why I used to be so isolated when I was younger, 59 00:03:30,505 --> 00:03:33,751 it's because I was terrified of doing literally everything 60 00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:36,848 other than playing video games in my room, to be honest with you. 61 00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:41,536 And so I avoided people I avoided opportunity, I avoided school, 62 00:03:41,536 --> 00:03:45,723 I avoided work because I felt like I had so few skills 63 00:03:45,723 --> 00:03:48,769 and so little coping ability that it was only a matter of time 64 00:03:48,769 --> 00:03:51,993 before I'd encounter a situation that would completely overwhelm me, 65 00:03:51,993 --> 00:03:54,670 so I didn't enter situations like literally I just didn't 66 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:59,509 The more confidence you have about your ability to navigate 67 00:03:59,509 --> 00:04:02,915 these stressful situations the less scary life becomes 68 00:04:02,915 --> 00:04:04,983 and the more opportunities you have. 69 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:08,163 The second thing that you probably already know you should be doing 70 00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:12,500 but might be struggling to do is taking good care of your living space. 71 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:16,051 Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person, you are going to spend 72 00:04:16,051 --> 00:04:19,091 the vast majority of your life in two environments: 73 00:04:19,212 --> 00:04:21,923 the place that you work and the place that you live. //// 74 00:04:21,923 --> 00:04:23,790 Now the place you live you might own your entire home, you might rent, 75 00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:25,160 you might have a room you might have a condo. 76 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,919 Whatever you have you have an environment that you call home. 77 00:04:28,919 --> 00:04:31,400 And so these two environments, your work and your home, 78 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,720 they have a tremendous impact on your mental health 79 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,520 if for no reason no other reason, I should say, than volume. 80 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,759 They're where you spend the majority of your time 81 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,759 and so the way they look, the way they feel, the way they function, 82 00:04:44,759 --> 00:04:47,840 is critical to your emotional well-being- 83 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,960 We know that the environments that you spend your time in 84 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,199 have a huge impact on your mental health. 85 00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:57,600 And basically, what it comes down to for me, my phrasing is, 86 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,000 if you're your home doesn't feel comfortable to you, 87 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,360 you basically never feel like your home, it's like you don't have a home, 88 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,120 you don't have a space: you have a home 89 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,240 but what you don't have is a space in this world that feels right to you: 90 00:05:14,919 --> 00:05:17,240 that's what you're missing and we all need that 91 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,720 and I believe we all deserve that. 92 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,280 But you will not have one unless you make one 93 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,400 you're the one that has to create and maintain it; 94 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,120 and I don't always like that either but I don't make the rules, 95 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,840 I just report on them and this is the way we work 96 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:32,280 Taking good care of your environment can be a very time-consuming task 97 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,080 especially if you've neglected it for a long time 98 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,039 but remember that you don't have to do it all at once, right? 99 00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:42,479 Start small do a little bit each day and before you know 100 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,840 it may be your heart will have a home again 101 00:05:49,759 --> 00:05:51,560 and that's something that can be invaluable for our mental health journey. 102 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,440 The third thing you probably already know you should be doing 103 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,800 but might be struggling to do 104 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,120 is to actually Implement sleep hygiene techniques. 105 00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:02,080 There are two types of insomnia: 106 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,360 there's clinical insomnia and there's behavioral insomnia. 107 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,120 Clinical insomnia is when for the most part 108 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,440 you are doing things right: 109 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,880 your day is structured in a way that should allow you to fall asleep 110 00:06:13,479 --> 00:06:15,240 and stay asleep reasonably well but you are unable to do so 111 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,120 and it takes hours to fall asleep. 112 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,759 Behavioral insomnia is when you have a double shot at 300 p.m., 113 00:06:22,199 --> 00:06:24,520 you get into bed at 11:00 p.m., you scroll on your phone till midnight, 114 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,160 then you toss and turn until 3 in the morning. 115 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,319 In other words, you have insomnia but it's because of choices you're making, 116 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,120 it's not because your brain doesn't know how to go to sleep, 117 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:35,560 it's because you're not letting it go to sleep 118 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,240 and you've set up your life in a way that simply does not support sleep. 119 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,680 Most people who struggle with sleep 120 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,039 have behavioral insomnia, not clinical insomnia 121 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,919 Clinical insomnia is actually relatively rare and it's usually a matter 122 00:06:48,919 --> 00:06:51,280 of lifestyle and habits that are primarily facilitating 123 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,560 the experience of insomnia. 124 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,759 So my question to you would be: 125 00:06:59,759 --> 00:07:01,520 "Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene 126 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,520 and suffering clinical insomnia as a result 127 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,759 or are you self-sabotaging and then complaining about it?" 128 00:07:06,319 --> 00:07:08,680 Because -- not to put too fine a point on it -- 129 00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:13,520 but that's basically what behavioral insomnia is: 130 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,160 you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm oversimplifying things a little bit -- 131 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:18,879 you're making it as difficult as possible for your brain to fall asleep 132 00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:22,120 and then being, like: "Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?" 133 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,440 I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting your sleep cycle in a sense. 134 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,680 It's a weird way to think of it. I know, but that's kind of what you're doing. 135 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,840 If you struggle with insomnia, take a real honest inventory 136 00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:38,319 of your nighttime routine and ask yourself: 137 00:07:38,319 --> 00:07:40,360 "Do I think it's reasonable that I should be able to fall asleep pretty quickly 138 00:07:42,639 --> 00:07:44,039 or am I basically taking everything I know about sleep, 139 00:07:44,039 --> 00:07:45,560 throwing it out the window and thinking that's still going to work?" 140 00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:49,440 Because it won't. 141 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,440 You're -- you have a brain and you have a nervous system 142 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,039 and we know a lot about how these factors affect our 143 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,120 144 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,639 and so if sleep is not really a my 145 00:08:00,639 --> 00:08:01,720 it's just that most people aren't doing 146 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,960 it right and and that's really what I 147 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,000 want you to consider if you're 148 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,960 struggling with insomnia am I am I doing 149 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,680 it right or am I just gaslighting my own 150 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,919 sleep cycle the fourth thing that you 151 00:08:10,919 --> 00:08:12,080 probably already know you should be 152 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,000 doing but might be having trouble with 153 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,639 is minimizing or eliminating drug and 154 00:08:16,639 --> 00:08:18,720 alcohol use now this one's a little bit 155 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,039 different I know because this one is 156 00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:23,479 harder for a person to control directly 157 00:08:23,479 --> 00:08:24,800 than some of the other topics we're 158 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,680 going to discuss here and I I believe me 159 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,680 I am understanding of that most people 160 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,199 who use drugs and alcohol use them 161 00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:33,159 because they want to feel anything other 162 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:36,080 than what it is like to be themselves um 163 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,679 and it seems like nothing could possibly 164 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,279 worse than just waking up today and 165 00:08:39,279 --> 00:08:41,599 feeling like me and and frankly I know 166 00:08:41,599 --> 00:08:44,440 what that feeling is like substances put 167 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,080 you on a physical and mental roller 168 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,440 coaster though where instead of changing 169 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,360 what it feels like to be you which is 170 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,519 ultimately the reality that you are 171 00:08:52,519 --> 00:08:55,120 struggling with you are temporarily 172 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,800 escaping what it feels like to be you 173 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,240 and when the Escape wears up off you 174 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,120 often feel even worse than before and 175 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,399 therefore you feel an even stronger 176 00:09:05,399 --> 00:09:07,680 desire to escape from yourself which 177 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,000 manifests as increased substance use and 178 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,640 creates a downward spiral that the 179 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,160 longer it goes on becomes harder and 180 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,240 harder to extricate yourself from so if 181 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,760 this is you I have a little bit of a 182 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,320 different idea for you here because 183 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:21,360 everything else in this video has been 184 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,480 all about here's what you can do if 185 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,880 you're struggling with drug and alcohol 186 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,440 use and the pattern I just describ kind 187 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,839 of sounds like you maybe it's time to 188 00:09:28,839 --> 00:09:31,040 admit that you cannot do this alone and 189 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,240 that you need some help with this 190 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,800 problem substance misuse is probably the 191 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,000 hardest mental health condition to treat 192 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,399 without support maybe tied with eating 193 00:09:41,399 --> 00:09:43,079 disorders because they're very similar 194 00:09:43,079 --> 00:09:44,839 neurologically and I think that's mainly 195 00:09:44,839 --> 00:09:47,800 because it's so easy to lie to yourself 196 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,360 and you know most people aren't 197 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,880 deceiving themselves about their 198 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,640 depression or their anxiety so like well 199 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,440 it's not that bad like usually you face 200 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,800 those things pretty head on you're like 201 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,600 no this is awful and I need help but 202 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,200 when it comes to that produce a 203 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,920 momentary sense of reward like eating 204 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,480 disorders and substance misuse you tend 205 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,360 to rationalize you tend to explain you 206 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,079 tend to minimize you tend to make 207 00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:13,200 excuses and if you've had several 208 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,360 unsuccessful attempts at changing those 209 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,839 habits for yourself maybe it's time to 210 00:10:17,839 --> 00:10:20,000 stop putting so much pressure on 211 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,360 yourself to accept some help and to 212 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,240 accept some support in this domain there 213 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,600 is no shame in that this is typically 214 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,560 not a solo Endeavor and it might be time 215 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,120 to think about asking for for help the 216 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,360 fifth thing that you probably already 217 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,519 know you should be doing but might be 218 00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:34,320 having a hard time doing is being 219 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,200 Physically Active every day so I mean 220 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,800 this one is no mystery right you 221 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,360 probably had a million people tell you 222 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,120 this already including your doctor every 223 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,720 time you see them and every other 224 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,680 Medical Professional you interact with 225 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,920 you've probably heard it so many times 226 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,240 that you're sick of hearing it and you 227 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,519 have an innate automatic defensive 228 00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:51,320 response when someone says this to you 229 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,720 so sorry about that because I probably 230 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,320 just triggered it but here's the thing 231 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,760 your brain needs blood your brain does 232 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,760 not work very well if it does not have 233 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,920 healthy accessible blood flow it's 234 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,240 literally one of the resources your 235 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,760 brain runs on it's like gasoline for 236 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,279 your brain and most of us have very 237 00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:10,959 sedentary Lifestyles which negatively 238 00:11:10,959 --> 00:11:12,839 impact our cardiovascular health I mean 239 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,560 that's that's just the way Society has 240 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:16,360 it's not your fault that's the way 241 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,160 Society has gone most jobs don't use our 242 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,160 bodies if you have a very Physically 243 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,600 Active job you probably don't need to 244 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,600 worry about this because you are 245 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,000 Physically Active every day it doesn't 246 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,399 have to be extra right it doesn't have 247 00:11:26,399 --> 00:11:28,720 to be prescribed exercise if you get 248 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,680 this in from your job or from your kids 249 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:34,519 or whatever fine but if you're like me 250 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,079 and you literally just sit on your butt 251 00:11:36,079 --> 00:11:38,600 for nine hours a day at work you need to 252 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,560 add this in your predefined life doesn't 253 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:45,079 have enough of it it's I'm not a fan of 254 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:48,000 how Society has made us so sedentary but 255 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,800 it is what it is since your brain needs 256 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,360 blood to work right cardiovascular 257 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,839 health is brain health if you constantly 258 00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:59,279 feel foggy forgetful distracted or Moody 259 00:11:59,279 --> 00:12:00,800 it might be because your brain doesn't 260 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,639 have enough blood flow it might be 261 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,839 because your brain doesn't have one of 262 00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,480 the resources that needs to keep your 263 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,480 prefrontal cortex powered on because all 264 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,040 the things that I just said live there 265 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,440 and when your brain is lacking in any 266 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,680 essential resource blood oxygen rest or 267 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,519 caloric energy it enters a low power 268 00:12:18,519 --> 00:12:20,680 mode much like what's on your phone or 269 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,000 your tablet or your laptop and certain 270 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,880 processes don't work as well as they 271 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,800 normally do the first part of the brain 272 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,279 that takes the hit when we're low on 273 00:12:29,279 --> 00:12:31,639 resources is the prefrontal cortex it's 274 00:12:31,639 --> 00:12:33,440 executive functioning its emotion 275 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,240 regulation it's social engagement so if 276 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,720 those are things you're struggling with 277 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,160 it's probably because your brain doesn't 278 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,959 have all the resources it needs to do 279 00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:43,760 its job properly the one thing I always 280 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,320 try to emphasize with physical activity 281 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,320 too is like the way you do it really 282 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,519 doesn't matter if you want to lift 283 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,199 weights lift weights if you want to run 284 00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:53,600 run if you want to do team sports do 285 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,920 team sports like if you hate some 286 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,600 certain type of exercise don't do it 287 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,760 it's not it's not huge 288 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,360 critical how you do it it's just 289 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,120 critical that you do it so find 290 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,279 something that you either like ideally 291 00:13:08,279 --> 00:13:09,800 if there's nothing like literally 292 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,160 nothing find the thing you hate the 293 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,399 least it can be some weird obscure thing 294 00:13:14,399 --> 00:13:16,720 maybe you want to get into hobby horsing 295 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,000 and if you don't know what that is you 296 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,760 should look it up on social media it's a 297 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,920 fascinating world if you do know what it 298 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,880 is I appreciate the people who 299 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,440 understand my obscure references because 300 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,600 there are many of them just do something 301 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,959 to get that that blood going to your 302 00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:32,920 brain you might be amazed how much it 303 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,959 helps you really might be amazed the 304 00:13:35,959 --> 00:13:38,959 sixth and final thing that you probably 305 00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:40,920 asteris did this one probably know you 306 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,800 should be doing but are probably having 307 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,320 trouble doing is to stop beating 308 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,560 yourself up about how long it is taking 309 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,360 to get your life in order now I realize 310 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,120 that you might have been doing that 311 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,680 throughout this video already because as 312 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,320 I'm saying things that you probably 313 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,199 already knew you should be doing you 314 00:13:58,199 --> 00:13:59,399 might have been beating yourself up 315 00:13:59,399 --> 00:14:01,480 guilt tripping yourself shaming yourself 316 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,440 and if you were knock it off right now 317 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,880 sorry I had to say it that way but 318 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,279 seriously you're not doing yourself any 319 00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:12,320 favors we all have enough pressure on us 320 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,519 already probably more than enough 321 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,079 pressure probably a maladaptive amount 322 00:14:15,079 --> 00:14:17,399 of pressure and changes hard our brains 323 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,480 actively resist it because they're wired 324 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:23,440 for homeostasis we associate familiarity 325 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,880 with safety and with security and on a 326 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,920 very basic survival level we fight back 327 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,440 against our own attempts change putting 328 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,759 too much pressure on yourself tends to 329 00:14:32,759 --> 00:14:35,639 keep you stuck so try patience and 330 00:14:35,639 --> 00:14:38,279 gentleness instead and see what happens 331 00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:41,720 it is amazing what people can do when 332 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,759 they finally feel understood and are 333 00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:46,040 treated with respect and compassion and 334 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,440 it is very possible that the person most 335 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,920 standing in your way of feeling those 336 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,720 things and experiencing those things is 337 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,240 you