mental health is not the mystery that it once was
although there's a lot of things we don't know about how the brain works
or why people feel certain things or what makes it better,
there also is a lot that we have figured out since the days
of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung and those early pioneers of psychology.
There are many things that we can definitively say:
"If you do this thing you will see some amount of improvement ."
The problem is that a lot of these proven strategies
for improving mental health are difficult,
uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement;
and a trap I see people get sucked into all the time is they keep looking
for new solutions, new answers, new ideas,
not because they don't have any solutions
but because they don't like the solutions they have.
They don't want to implement the things that they already know
and so they spend hours and hours reading books listening to podcasts
watching YouTube videos to try to find an easier faster or more convenient way
to make the changes they already know they should be making.
The thing about this is it's at best this is procrastination
at worst it's avoidance.
Sometimes we need to stop acquiring new information and focus
on applying the information we already have.
And rather than looking for that magic bullet, so to speak,
work on creating a foundation combined with all of the things
we already know are definitely going to help us if we could get them going.
When I hear somebody in therapy say: "I've tried everything",
what they usually mean is: I've tried everything that I want to try".
So that's why today instead of presenting a new concept,
I'm going to review some things that you probably already know,
but what I am hoping to do is maybe present them in a new or novel way
that will make them feel more accessible, more attainable
or more applicable than they previously did.
So, without further ado here are seven things
that you probably already know you should be doing
but might be struggling to implement into your life.
And the first is doing things that you are scared to do,
in other words exposure therapy, facing your fears.
Your comfort zone only grows when you are not in it.
This is critical for you to understand.
And engaging in activities that cause you anxiety or that cause you discomfort
is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching your emotional range
in the same way that something like yoga or calisthenics
is like stretching your movement range.
It doesn't necessarily feel great while you are doing it.
In fact it can often be an unpleasant experience while you're doing it.
But if you do it regularly, navigating the world
becomes more enjoyable and less painful.
And you're less likely to get hurt:
if you stretch regularly, you are less likely to hurt your body
when you're out and about moving around
and there's fewer situations that you're unable to physically navigate, right?
When you practice regular exposure therapy and work on
in a sort of a planned strategic manner
facing, and hopefully eventually conquering the things you are afraid of,
the world starts to open up to you.
It becomes more accessible and less scary because there are fewer situations
you can imagine that you would find yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety.
This is a huge part of why I used to be so isolated when I was younger,
it's because I was terrified of doing literally everything
other than playing video games in my room, to be honest with you.
And so I avoided people I avoided opportunity, I avoided school,
I avoided work because I felt like I had so few skills
and so little coping ability that it was only a matter of time
before I'd encounter a situation that would completely overwhelm me,
so I didn't enter situations like literally I just didn't
The more confidence you have about your ability to navigate
these stressful situations the less scary life becomes
and the more opportunities you have.
The second thing that you probably already know you should be doing
but might be struggling to do is taking good care of your living space.
Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person, you are going to spend
the vast majority of your life in two environments:
the place that you work and the place that you live. ////
Now the place you live you might own your entire home, you might rent,
you might have a room you might have a condo.
Whatever you have you have an environment that you call home.
And so these two environments, your work and your home,
they have a tremendous impact on your mental health
if for no reason no other reason, I should say, than volume.
They're where you spend the majority of your time
and so the way they look, the way they feel, the way they function,
is critical to your emotional well-being-
We know that the environments that you spend your time in
have a huge impact on your mental health.
And basically, what it comes down to for me, my phrasing is,
if you're your home doesn't feel comfortable to you,
you basically never feel like your home, it's like you don't have a home,
you don't have a space: you have a home
but what you don't have is a space in this world that feels right to you:
that's what you're missing and we all need that
and I believe we all deserve that.
But you will not have one unless you make one
you're the one that has to create and maintain it;
and I don't always like that either but I don't make the rules,
I just report on them and this is the way we work
Taking good care of your environment can be a very time-consuming task
especially if you've neglected it for a long time
but remember that you don't have to do it all at once, right?
Start small do a little bit each day and before you know
it may be your heart will have a home again
and that's something that can be invaluable for our mental health journey.
The third thing you probably already know you should be doing
but might be struggling to do
is to actually Implement sleep hygiene techniques.
There are two types of insomnia:
there's clinical insomnia and there's behavioral insomnia.
Clinical insomnia is when for the most part
you are doing things right:
your day is structured in a way that should allow you to fall asleep
and stay asleep reasonably well but you are unable to do so
and it takes hours to fall asleep.
Behavioral insomnia is when you have a double shot at 300 p.m.,
you get into bed at 11:00 p.m., you scroll on your phone till midnight,
then you toss and turn until 3 in the morning.
In other words, you have insomnia but it's because of choices you're making,
it's not because your brain doesn't know how to go to sleep,
it's because you're not letting it go to sleep
and you've set up your life in a way that simply does not support sleep.
Most people who struggle with sleep
have behavioral insomnia, not clinical insomnia
Clinical insomnia is actually relatively rare and it's usually a matter
of lifestyle and habits that are primarily facilitating
the experience of insomnia.
So my question to you would be:
"Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene
and suffering clinical insomnia as a result
or are you self-sabotaging and then complaining about it?"
Because -- not to put too fine a point on it --
but that's basically what behavioral insomnia is:
you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm oversimplifying things a little bit --
you're making it as difficult as possible for your brain to fall asleep
and then being, like: "Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?"
I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting your sleep cycle in a sense.
It's a weird way to think of it. I know, but that's kind of what you're doing.
If you struggle with insomnia, take a real honest inventory
of your nighttime routine and ask yourself:
"Do I think it's reasonable that I should be able to fall asleep pretty quickly
or am I basically taking everything I know about sleep,
throwing it out the window and thinking that's still going to work?"
Because it won't.
You're -- you have a brain and you have a nervous system
and we know a lot about how these factors affect our
and so if sleep is not really a my
it's just that most people aren't doing
it right and and that's really what I
want you to consider if you're
struggling with insomnia am I am I doing
it right or am I just gaslighting my own
sleep cycle the fourth thing that you
probably already know you should be
doing but might be having trouble with
is minimizing or eliminating drug and
alcohol use now this one's a little bit
different I know because this one is
harder for a person to control directly
than some of the other topics we're
going to discuss here and I I believe me
I am understanding of that most people
who use drugs and alcohol use them
because they want to feel anything other
than what it is like to be themselves um
and it seems like nothing could possibly
worse than just waking up today and
feeling like me and and frankly I know
what that feeling is like substances put
you on a physical and mental roller
coaster though where instead of changing
what it feels like to be you which is
ultimately the reality that you are
struggling with you are temporarily
escaping what it feels like to be you
and when the Escape wears up off you
often feel even worse than before and
therefore you feel an even stronger
desire to escape from yourself which
manifests as increased substance use and
creates a downward spiral that the
longer it goes on becomes harder and
harder to extricate yourself from so if
this is you I have a little bit of a
different idea for you here because
everything else in this video has been
all about here's what you can do if
you're struggling with drug and alcohol
use and the pattern I just describ kind
of sounds like you maybe it's time to
admit that you cannot do this alone and
that you need some help with this
problem substance misuse is probably the
hardest mental health condition to treat
without support maybe tied with eating
disorders because they're very similar
neurologically and I think that's mainly
because it's so easy to lie to yourself
and you know most people aren't
deceiving themselves about their
depression or their anxiety so like well
it's not that bad like usually you face
those things pretty head on you're like
no this is awful and I need help but
when it comes to that produce a
momentary sense of reward like eating
disorders and substance misuse you tend
to rationalize you tend to explain you
tend to minimize you tend to make
excuses and if you've had several
unsuccessful attempts at changing those
habits for yourself maybe it's time to
stop putting so much pressure on
yourself to accept some help and to
accept some support in this domain there
is no shame in that this is typically
not a solo Endeavor and it might be time
to think about asking for for help the
fifth thing that you probably already
know you should be doing but might be
having a hard time doing is being
Physically Active every day so I mean
this one is no mystery right you
probably had a million people tell you
this already including your doctor every
time you see them and every other
Medical Professional you interact with
you've probably heard it so many times
that you're sick of hearing it and you
have an innate automatic defensive
response when someone says this to you
so sorry about that because I probably
just triggered it but here's the thing
your brain needs blood your brain does
not work very well if it does not have
healthy accessible blood flow it's
literally one of the resources your
brain runs on it's like gasoline for
your brain and most of us have very
sedentary Lifestyles which negatively
impact our cardiovascular health I mean
that's that's just the way Society has
it's not your fault that's the way
Society has gone most jobs don't use our
bodies if you have a very Physically
Active job you probably don't need to
worry about this because you are
Physically Active every day it doesn't
have to be extra right it doesn't have
to be prescribed exercise if you get
this in from your job or from your kids
or whatever fine but if you're like me
and you literally just sit on your butt
for nine hours a day at work you need to
add this in your predefined life doesn't
have enough of it it's I'm not a fan of
how Society has made us so sedentary but
it is what it is since your brain needs
blood to work right cardiovascular
health is brain health if you constantly
feel foggy forgetful distracted or Moody
it might be because your brain doesn't
have enough blood flow it might be
because your brain doesn't have one of
the resources that needs to keep your
prefrontal cortex powered on because all
the things that I just said live there
and when your brain is lacking in any
essential resource blood oxygen rest or
caloric energy it enters a low power
mode much like what's on your phone or
your tablet or your laptop and certain
processes don't work as well as they
normally do the first part of the brain
that takes the hit when we're low on
resources is the prefrontal cortex it's
executive functioning its emotion
regulation it's social engagement so if
those are things you're struggling with
it's probably because your brain doesn't
have all the resources it needs to do
its job properly the one thing I always
try to emphasize with physical activity
too is like the way you do it really
doesn't matter if you want to lift
weights lift weights if you want to run
run if you want to do team sports do
team sports like if you hate some
certain type of exercise don't do it
it's not it's not huge
critical how you do it it's just
critical that you do it so find
something that you either like ideally
if there's nothing like literally
nothing find the thing you hate the
least it can be some weird obscure thing
maybe you want to get into hobby horsing
and if you don't know what that is you
should look it up on social media it's a
fascinating world if you do know what it
is I appreciate the people who
understand my obscure references because
there are many of them just do something
to get that that blood going to your
brain you might be amazed how much it
helps you really might be amazed the
sixth and final thing that you probably
asteris did this one probably know you
should be doing but are probably having
trouble doing is to stop beating
yourself up about how long it is taking
to get your life in order now I realize
that you might have been doing that
throughout this video already because as
I'm saying things that you probably
already knew you should be doing you
might have been beating yourself up
guilt tripping yourself shaming yourself
and if you were knock it off right now
sorry I had to say it that way but
seriously you're not doing yourself any
favors we all have enough pressure on us
already probably more than enough
pressure probably a maladaptive amount
of pressure and changes hard our brains
actively resist it because they're wired
for homeostasis we associate familiarity
with safety and with security and on a
very basic survival level we fight back
against our own attempts change putting
too much pressure on yourself tends to
keep you stuck so try patience and
gentleness instead and see what happens
it is amazing what people can do when
they finally feel understood and are
treated with respect and compassion and
it is very possible that the person most
standing in your way of feeling those
things and experiencing those things is
you