0:00:00.240,0:00:03.001
mental health is not the mystery[br]that it once was

0:00:03.001,0:00:06.791
although there's a lot of things we [br]don't know about how the brain works

0:00:06.791,0:00:09.480
or why people feel certain things[br]or what makes it better,

0:00:09.480,0:00:12.350
there also is a lot that we have [br]figured out since the days

0:00:12.350,0:00:16.408
of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung[br]and those early pioneers of psychology.

0:00:16.767,0:00:19.808
There are many things that we can[br]definitively say:

0:00:19.808,0:00:24.373
"If you do this thing you will see[br]some amount of improvement ."

0:00:24.851,0:00:27.720
The problem is that a lot[br]of these proven strategies

0:00:27.720,0:00:30.225
for improving mental health are difficult,

0:00:30.225,0:00:32.669
uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement;

0:00:33.016,0:00:37.540
and a trap I see people get sucked into[br]all the time is they keep looking

0:00:37.540,0:00:40.934
for new solutions, new answers, new ideas,

0:00:40.934,0:00:43.735
not because they don't have any solutions

0:00:44.005,0:00:46.821
but because they don't like[br]the solutions they have.

0:00:46.922,0:00:50.167
They don't want to implement the things[br]that they already know

0:00:50.167,0:00:54.886
and so they spend hours and hours[br]reading books listening to podcasts

0:00:54.886,0:01:00.320
watching YouTube videos to try to find[br]an easier faster or more convenient way

0:01:00.320,0:01:03.680
to make the changes they already know[br]they should be making.

0:01:03.829,0:01:07.366
The thing about this is it's at best[br]this is procrastination

0:01:07.366,0:01:09.075
at worst it's avoidance.

0:01:09.220,0:01:14.203
Sometimes we need to stop acquiring[br]new information and focus

0:01:14.203,0:01:17.052
on applying the information[br]we already have.

0:01:17.052,0:01:19.825
And rather than looking[br]for that magic bullet, so to speak,

0:01:19.825,0:01:24.609
work on creating a foundation[br]combined with all of the things

0:01:24.609,0:01:28.500
we already know are definitely going[br]to help us if we could get them going.

0:01:28.800,0:01:32.595
When I hear somebody in therapy say:[br]"I've tried everything",

0:01:33.140,0:01:37.314
what they usually mean is:[br]I've tried everything that I want to try".

0:01:37.684,0:01:41.292
So that's why today instead of presenting[br]a new concept,

0:01:41.292,0:01:45.149
I'm going to review some things[br]that you probably already know,

0:01:45.489,0:01:51.118
but what I am hoping to do is maybe[br]present them in a new or novel way

0:01:51.118,0:01:55.411
that will make them feel more accessible,[br]more attainable

0:01:55.805,0:01:58.433
or more applicable[br]than they previously did.

0:01:59.240,0:02:01.880
So, without further ado[br]here are seven things

0:02:01.880,0:02:04.569
that you probably already know[br]you should be doing

0:02:04.836,0:02:07.316
but might be struggling to implement[br]into your life.

0:02:07.480,0:02:11.034
And the first is doing things[br]that you are scared to do,

0:02:11.034,0:02:14.095
in other words exposure therapy,[br]facing your fears.

0:02:14.525,0:02:19.548
Your comfort zone only grows[br]when you are not in it.

0:02:19.879,0:02:23.120
This is critical for you to understand.

0:02:23.120,0:02:27.927
And engaging in activities that cause you[br]anxiety or that cause you discomfort

0:02:27.927,0:02:31.985
is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching[br]your emotional range

0:02:31.985,0:02:35.345
in the same way that something[br]like yoga or calisthenics

0:02:35.480,0:02:37.615
is like stretching your movement range.

0:02:38.160,0:02:41.900
It doesn't necessarily feel great[br]while you are doing it.

0:02:41.900,0:02:45.291
In fact it can often be an unpleasant[br]experience while you're doing it.

0:02:45.291,0:02:49.808
But if you do it regularly,[br]navigating the world

0:02:49.808,0:02:52.691
becomes more enjoyable and less painful.

0:02:52.819,0:02:54.512
And you're less likely to get hurt:

0:02:54.560,0:02:57.952
if you stretch regularly,[br]you are less likely to hurt your body

0:02:57.952,0:02:59.800
when you're out and about[br]moving around

0:02:59.800,0:03:03.470
and there's fewer situations that you're[br]unable to physically navigate, right?

0:03:03.548,0:03:07.108
When you practice regular exposure therapy[br]and work on

0:03:07.108,0:03:09.375
in a sort of a planned strategic manner

0:03:09.375,0:03:13.647
facing, and hopefully eventually[br]conquering the things you are afraid of,

0:03:13.647,0:03:16.545
the world starts to open up to you.

0:03:16.545,0:03:21.344
It becomes more accessible and less scary[br]because there are fewer situations

0:03:21.344,0:03:26.035
you can imagine that you would find[br]yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety.

0:03:26.233,0:03:30.505
This is a huge part of why I used to be[br]so isolated when I was younger,

0:03:30.505,0:03:33.751
it's because I was terrified of doing[br]literally everything

0:03:33.751,0:03:36.848
other than playing video games in my room,[br]to be honest with you.

0:03:37.183,0:03:41.536
And so I avoided people I avoided[br]opportunity, I avoided school,

0:03:41.536,0:03:45.723
I avoided work because I felt like[br]I had so few skills

0:03:45.723,0:03:48.769
and so little coping ability that[br]it was only a matter of time

0:03:48.769,0:03:51.993
before I'd encounter a situation[br]that would completely overwhelm me,

0:03:51.993,0:03:54.670
so I didn't enter situations like[br]literally I just didn't

0:03:55.026,0:03:59.509
The more confidence you have[br]about your ability to navigate

0:03:59.509,0:04:02.915
these stressful situations[br]the less scary life becomes

0:04:02.915,0:04:04.983
and the more opportunities you have.

0:04:04.983,0:04:08.163
The second thing that you probably[br]already know you should be doing

0:04:08.163,0:04:12.500
but might be struggling to do[br]is taking good care of your living space.

0:04:12.500,0:04:16.051
Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person,[br]you are going to spend

0:04:16.051,0:04:19.091
the vast majority of your life[br]in two environments:

0:04:19.212,0:04:21.923
the place that you work[br]and the place that you live. ////

0:04:21.923,0:04:23.790
Now the place you live you might own[br]your entire home, you might rent,

0:04:23.790,0:04:25.160
you might have a room[br]you might have a condo.

0:04:27.040,0:04:28.919
Whatever you have you have[br]an environment that you call home.

0:04:28.919,0:04:31.400
And so these two environments,[br]your work and your home,

0:04:31.400,0:04:33.720
they have a tremendous impact[br]on your mental health

0:04:36.560,0:04:38.520
if for no reason no other reason,[br]I should say, than volume.

0:04:38.520,0:04:40.759
They're where you spend[br]the majority of your time

0:04:42.800,0:04:44.759
and so the way they look,[br]the way they feel, the way they function,

0:04:44.759,0:04:47.840
is critical to your emotional well-being-

0:04:47.840,0:04:50.960
We know that the environments[br]that you spend your time in

0:04:53.080,0:04:56.199
have a huge impact on your mental health.

0:04:56.199,0:04:57.600
And basically, what it comes down to[br]for me, my phrasing is,

0:05:00.520,0:05:03.000
if you're your home doesn't feel[br]comfortable to you,

0:05:03.000,0:05:05.360
you basically never feel like your home,[br]it's like you don't have a home,

0:05:07.400,0:05:10.120
you don't have a space: you have a home

0:05:10.120,0:05:13.240
but what you don't have is a space[br]in this world that feels right to you:

0:05:14.919,0:05:17.240
that's what you're missing[br]and we all need that

0:05:17.240,0:05:19.720
and I believe we all deserve that.

0:05:19.720,0:05:22.280
But you will not have one[br]unless you make one

0:05:22.280,0:05:24.400
you're the one that has to create[br]and maintain it;

0:05:24.400,0:05:26.120
and I don't always like that either[br]but I don't make the rules,

0:05:28.240,0:05:29.840
I just report on them[br]and this is the way we work

0:05:29.840,0:05:32.280
Taking good care of your environment[br]can be a very time-consuming task

0:05:34.520,0:05:36.080
especially if you've neglected it[br]for a long time

0:05:38.720,0:05:40.039
but remember that you don't have[br]to do it all at once, right?

0:05:40.039,0:05:42.479
Start small do a little bit each day[br]and before you know

0:05:44.880,0:05:46.840
it may be your heart will have a home again

0:05:49.759,0:05:51.560
and that's something that can be[br]invaluable for our mental health journey.

0:05:51.560,0:05:53.440
The third thing you probably already know[br]you should be doing

0:05:53.440,0:05:54.800
but might be struggling to do

0:05:54.800,0:05:57.120
is to actually Implement[br]sleep hygiene techniques.

0:05:59.639,0:06:02.080
There are two types of insomnia:

0:06:02.080,0:06:04.360
there's clinical insomnia and[br]there's behavioral insomnia.

0:06:04.360,0:06:07.120
Clinical insomnia is when for the most part

0:06:07.120,0:06:09.440
you are doing things right:

0:06:09.440,0:06:11.880
your day is structured in a way that[br]should allow you to fall asleep

0:06:13.479,0:06:15.240
and stay asleep reasonably well[br]but you are unable to do so

0:06:15.240,0:06:17.120
and it takes hours to fall asleep.

0:06:17.120,0:06:19.759
Behavioral insomnia is when[br]you have a double shot at 300 p.m.,

0:06:22.199,0:06:24.520
you get into bed at 11:00 p.m.,[br]you scroll on your phone till midnight,

0:06:26.160,0:06:28.160
then you toss and turn[br]until 3 in the morning.

0:06:28.160,0:06:30.319
In other words, you have insomnia[br]but it's because of choices you're making,

0:06:32.160,0:06:34.120
it's not because your brain doesn't know[br]how to go to sleep,

0:06:34.120,0:06:35.560
it's because you're not letting it[br]go to sleep

0:06:37.440,0:06:39.240
and you've set up your life in a way[br]that simply does not support sleep.

0:06:39.240,0:06:41.680
Most people who struggle with sleep

0:06:44.680,0:06:47.039
have behavioral insomnia,[br]not clinical insomnia

0:06:47.039,0:06:48.919
Clinical insomnia is actually[br]relatively rare and it's usually a matter

0:06:48.919,0:06:51.280
of lifestyle and habits[br]that are primarily facilitating

0:06:53.880,0:06:56.560
the experience of insomnia.

0:06:56.560,0:06:59.759
So my question to you would be:

0:06:59.759,0:07:01.520
"Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene

0:07:01.520,0:07:02.520
and suffering clinical insomnia[br]as a result

0:07:02.520,0:07:04.759
or are you self-sabotaging[br]and then complaining about it?"

0:07:06.319,0:07:08.680
Because -- not to put[br]too fine a point on it --

0:07:10.879,0:07:13.520
but that's basically what behavioral insomnia is:

0:07:13.520,0:07:15.160
you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm[br]oversimplifying things a little bit --

0:07:17.440,0:07:18.879
you're making it as difficult as possible[br]for your brain to fall asleep

0:07:20.639,0:07:22.120
and then being, like:[br]"Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?"

0:07:22.120,0:07:24.440
I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting[br]your sleep cycle in a sense.

0:07:26.360,0:07:27.680
It's a weird way to think of it. I know,[br]but that's kind of what you're doing.

0:07:29.560,0:07:31.840
If you struggle with insomnia,[br]take a real honest inventory

0:07:35.039,0:07:38.319
of your nighttime routine[br]and ask yourself:

0:07:38.319,0:07:40.360
"Do I think it's reasonable that I should[br]be able to fall asleep pretty quickly

0:07:42.639,0:07:44.039
or am I basically taking everything[br]I know about sleep,

0:07:44.039,0:07:45.560
throwing it out the window[br]and thinking that's still going to work?"

0:07:47.199,0:07:49.440
Because it won't.

0:07:49.440,0:07:52.440
You're -- you have a brain[br]and you have a nervous system

0:07:52.440,0:07:55.039
and we know a lot about how these factors[br]affect ouraan

0:07:55.039,0:07:57.120


0:07:57.120,0:08:00.639
and so if sleep is not really a my

0:08:00.639,0:08:01.720
it's just that most people aren't doing

0:08:01.720,0:08:03.960
it right and and that's really what I

0:08:03.960,0:08:05.000
want you to consider if you're

0:08:05.000,0:08:06.960
struggling with insomnia am I am I doing

0:08:06.960,0:08:08.680
it right or am I just gaslighting my own

0:08:08.680,0:08:10.919
sleep cycle the fourth thing that you

0:08:10.919,0:08:12.080
probably already know you should be

0:08:12.080,0:08:14.000
doing but might be having trouble with

0:08:14.000,0:08:16.639
is minimizing or eliminating drug and

0:08:16.639,0:08:18.720
alcohol use now this one's a little bit

0:08:18.720,0:08:21.039
different I know because this one is

0:08:21.039,0:08:23.479
harder for a person to control directly

0:08:23.479,0:08:24.800
than some of the other topics we're

0:08:24.800,0:08:26.680
going to discuss here and I I believe me

0:08:26.680,0:08:29.680
I am understanding of that most people

0:08:29.680,0:08:31.199
who use drugs and alcohol use them

0:08:31.199,0:08:33.159
because they want to feel anything other

0:08:33.159,0:08:36.080
than what it is like to be themselves um

0:08:36.080,0:08:37.679
and it seems like nothing could possibly

0:08:37.679,0:08:39.279
worse than just waking up today and

0:08:39.279,0:08:41.599
feeling like me and and frankly I know

0:08:41.599,0:08:44.440
what that feeling is like substances put

0:08:44.440,0:08:46.080
you on a physical and mental roller

0:08:46.080,0:08:48.440
coaster though where instead of changing

0:08:48.440,0:08:50.360
what it feels like to be you which is

0:08:50.360,0:08:52.519
ultimately the reality that you are

0:08:52.519,0:08:55.120
struggling with you are temporarily

0:08:55.120,0:08:57.800
escaping what it feels like to be you

0:08:57.800,0:09:00.240
and when the Escape wears up off you

0:09:00.240,0:09:03.120
often feel even worse than before and

0:09:03.120,0:09:05.399
therefore you feel an even stronger

0:09:05.399,0:09:07.680
desire to escape from yourself which

0:09:07.680,0:09:10.000
manifests as increased substance use and

0:09:10.000,0:09:11.640
creates a downward spiral that the

0:09:11.640,0:09:14.160
longer it goes on becomes harder and

0:09:14.160,0:09:17.240
harder to extricate yourself from so if

0:09:17.240,0:09:18.760
this is you I have a little bit of a

0:09:18.760,0:09:20.320
different idea for you here because

0:09:20.320,0:09:21.360
everything else in this video has been

0:09:21.360,0:09:23.480
all about here's what you can do if

0:09:23.480,0:09:24.880
you're struggling with drug and alcohol

0:09:24.880,0:09:26.440
use and the pattern I just describ kind

0:09:26.440,0:09:28.839
of sounds like you maybe it's time to

0:09:28.839,0:09:31.040
admit that you cannot do this alone and

0:09:31.040,0:09:32.240
that you need some help with this

0:09:32.240,0:09:36.800
problem substance misuse is probably the

0:09:36.800,0:09:39.000
hardest mental health condition to treat

0:09:39.000,0:09:41.399
without support maybe tied with eating

0:09:41.399,0:09:43.079
disorders because they're very similar

0:09:43.079,0:09:44.839
neurologically and I think that's mainly

0:09:44.839,0:09:47.800
because it's so easy to lie to yourself

0:09:47.800,0:09:49.360
and you know most people aren't

0:09:49.360,0:09:50.880
deceiving themselves about their

0:09:50.880,0:09:52.640
depression or their anxiety so like well

0:09:52.640,0:09:55.440
it's not that bad like usually you face

0:09:55.440,0:09:56.800
those things pretty head on you're like

0:09:56.800,0:09:58.600
no this is awful and I need help but

0:09:58.600,0:10:00.200
when it comes to that produce a

0:10:00.200,0:10:02.920
momentary sense of reward like eating

0:10:02.920,0:10:05.480
disorders and substance misuse you tend

0:10:05.480,0:10:08.360
to rationalize you tend to explain you

0:10:08.360,0:10:10.079
tend to minimize you tend to make

0:10:10.079,0:10:13.200
excuses and if you've had several

0:10:13.200,0:10:15.360
unsuccessful attempts at changing those

0:10:15.360,0:10:17.839
habits for yourself maybe it's time to

0:10:17.839,0:10:20.000
stop putting so much pressure on

0:10:20.000,0:10:22.360
yourself to accept some help and to

0:10:22.360,0:10:24.240
accept some support in this domain there

0:10:24.240,0:10:26.600
is no shame in that this is typically

0:10:26.600,0:10:28.560
not a solo Endeavor and it might be time

0:10:28.560,0:10:30.120
to think about asking for for help the

0:10:30.120,0:10:31.360
fifth thing that you probably already

0:10:31.360,0:10:32.519
know you should be doing but might be

0:10:32.519,0:10:34.320
having a hard time doing is being

0:10:34.320,0:10:36.200
Physically Active every day so I mean

0:10:36.200,0:10:37.800
this one is no mystery right you

0:10:37.800,0:10:39.360
probably had a million people tell you

0:10:39.360,0:10:41.120
this already including your doctor every

0:10:41.120,0:10:42.720
time you see them and every other

0:10:42.720,0:10:44.680
Medical Professional you interact with

0:10:44.680,0:10:45.920
you've probably heard it so many times

0:10:45.920,0:10:47.240
that you're sick of hearing it and you

0:10:47.240,0:10:49.519
have an innate automatic defensive

0:10:49.519,0:10:51.320
response when someone says this to you

0:10:51.320,0:10:52.720
so sorry about that because I probably

0:10:52.720,0:10:55.320
just triggered it but here's the thing

0:10:55.320,0:10:57.760
your brain needs blood your brain does

0:10:57.760,0:11:00.760
not work very well if it does not have

0:11:00.760,0:11:02.920
healthy accessible blood flow it's

0:11:02.920,0:11:04.240
literally one of the resources your

0:11:04.240,0:11:05.760
brain runs on it's like gasoline for

0:11:05.760,0:11:08.279
your brain and most of us have very

0:11:08.279,0:11:10.959
sedentary Lifestyles which negatively

0:11:10.959,0:11:12.839
impact our cardiovascular health I mean

0:11:12.839,0:11:14.560
that's that's just the way Society has

0:11:14.560,0:11:16.360
it's not your fault that's the way

0:11:16.360,0:11:19.160
Society has gone most jobs don't use our

0:11:19.160,0:11:21.160
bodies if you have a very Physically

0:11:21.160,0:11:22.600
Active job you probably don't need to

0:11:22.600,0:11:23.600
worry about this because you are

0:11:23.600,0:11:25.000
Physically Active every day it doesn't

0:11:25.000,0:11:26.399
have to be extra right it doesn't have

0:11:26.399,0:11:28.720
to be prescribed exercise if you get

0:11:28.720,0:11:31.680
this in from your job or from your kids

0:11:31.680,0:11:34.519
or whatever fine but if you're like me

0:11:34.519,0:11:36.079
and you literally just sit on your butt

0:11:36.079,0:11:38.600
for nine hours a day at work you need to

0:11:38.600,0:11:41.560
add this in your predefined life doesn't

0:11:41.560,0:11:45.079
have enough of it it's I'm not a fan of

0:11:45.079,0:11:48.000
how Society has made us so sedentary but

0:11:48.000,0:11:50.800
it is what it is since your brain needs

0:11:50.800,0:11:53.360
blood to work right cardiovascular

0:11:53.360,0:11:55.839
health is brain health if you constantly

0:11:55.839,0:11:59.279
feel foggy forgetful distracted or Moody

0:11:59.279,0:12:00.800
it might be because your brain doesn't

0:12:00.800,0:12:02.639
have enough blood flow it might be

0:12:02.639,0:12:03.839
because your brain doesn't have one of

0:12:03.839,0:12:05.480
the resources that needs to keep your

0:12:05.480,0:12:08.480
prefrontal cortex powered on because all

0:12:08.480,0:12:11.040
the things that I just said live there

0:12:11.040,0:12:13.440
and when your brain is lacking in any

0:12:13.440,0:12:15.680
essential resource blood oxygen rest or

0:12:15.680,0:12:18.519
caloric energy it enters a low power

0:12:18.519,0:12:20.680
mode much like what's on your phone or

0:12:20.680,0:12:23.000
your tablet or your laptop and certain

0:12:23.000,0:12:24.880
processes don't work as well as they

0:12:24.880,0:12:27.800
normally do the first part of the brain

0:12:27.800,0:12:29.279
that takes the hit when we're low on

0:12:29.279,0:12:31.639
resources is the prefrontal cortex it's

0:12:31.639,0:12:33.440
executive functioning its emotion

0:12:33.440,0:12:36.240
regulation it's social engagement so if

0:12:36.240,0:12:37.720
those are things you're struggling with

0:12:37.720,0:12:39.160
it's probably because your brain doesn't

0:12:39.160,0:12:40.959
have all the resources it needs to do

0:12:40.959,0:12:43.760
its job properly the one thing I always

0:12:43.760,0:12:45.320
try to emphasize with physical activity

0:12:45.320,0:12:48.320
too is like the way you do it really

0:12:48.320,0:12:50.519
doesn't matter if you want to lift

0:12:50.519,0:12:52.199
weights lift weights if you want to run

0:12:52.199,0:12:53.600
run if you want to do team sports do

0:12:53.600,0:12:55.920
team sports like if you hate some

0:12:55.920,0:12:57.600
certain type of exercise don't do it

0:12:57.600,0:12:59.760
it's not it's not huge

0:12:59.760,0:13:02.360
critical how you do it it's just

0:13:02.360,0:13:05.120
critical that you do it so find

0:13:05.120,0:13:08.279
something that you either like ideally

0:13:08.279,0:13:09.800
if there's nothing like literally

0:13:09.800,0:13:11.160
nothing find the thing you hate the

0:13:11.160,0:13:14.399
least it can be some weird obscure thing

0:13:14.399,0:13:16.720
maybe you want to get into hobby horsing

0:13:16.720,0:13:18.000
and if you don't know what that is you

0:13:18.000,0:13:19.760
should look it up on social media it's a

0:13:19.760,0:13:21.920
fascinating world if you do know what it

0:13:21.920,0:13:23.880
is I appreciate the people who

0:13:23.880,0:13:25.440
understand my obscure references because

0:13:25.440,0:13:28.600
there are many of them just do something

0:13:28.600,0:13:29.959
to get that that blood going to your

0:13:29.959,0:13:32.920
brain you might be amazed how much it

0:13:32.920,0:13:35.959
helps you really might be amazed the

0:13:35.959,0:13:38.959
sixth and final thing that you probably

0:13:38.959,0:13:40.920
asteris did this one probably know you

0:13:40.920,0:13:42.800
should be doing but are probably having

0:13:42.800,0:13:45.320
trouble doing is to stop beating

0:13:45.320,0:13:47.560
yourself up about how long it is taking

0:13:47.560,0:13:50.360
to get your life in order now I realize

0:13:50.360,0:13:52.120
that you might have been doing that

0:13:52.120,0:13:54.680
throughout this video already because as

0:13:54.680,0:13:56.320
I'm saying things that you probably

0:13:56.320,0:13:58.199
already knew you should be doing you

0:13:58.199,0:13:59.399
might have been beating yourself up

0:13:59.399,0:14:01.480
guilt tripping yourself shaming yourself

0:14:01.480,0:14:04.440
and if you were knock it off right now

0:14:04.440,0:14:06.880
sorry I had to say it that way but

0:14:06.880,0:14:09.279
seriously you're not doing yourself any

0:14:09.279,0:14:12.320
favors we all have enough pressure on us

0:14:12.320,0:14:13.519
already probably more than enough

0:14:13.519,0:14:15.079
pressure probably a maladaptive amount

0:14:15.079,0:14:17.399
of pressure and changes hard our brains

0:14:17.399,0:14:19.480
actively resist it because they're wired

0:14:19.480,0:14:23.440
for homeostasis we associate familiarity

0:14:23.440,0:14:25.880
with safety and with security and on a

0:14:25.880,0:14:27.920
very basic survival level we fight back

0:14:27.920,0:14:30.440
against our own attempts change putting

0:14:30.440,0:14:32.759
too much pressure on yourself tends to

0:14:32.759,0:14:35.639
keep you stuck so try patience and

0:14:35.639,0:14:38.279
gentleness instead and see what happens

0:14:38.279,0:14:41.720
it is amazing what people can do when

0:14:41.720,0:14:43.759
they finally feel understood and are

0:14:43.759,0:14:46.040
treated with respect and compassion and

0:14:46.040,0:14:48.440
it is very possible that the person most

0:14:48.440,0:14:49.920
standing in your way of feeling those

0:14:49.920,0:14:51.720
things and experiencing those things is

0:14:51.720,0:14:54.240
you