WEBVTT

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mental health is not the mystery that it

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once was although there's a lot of

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things we don't know about how the brain

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works or why people feel certain things

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or what makes it better there also is a

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lot that we have figured out since the

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days of Sigman Freud and Carl Yung and

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those early pioneers of psychology there

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are many things that we can definitively

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say if you do this thing you will see

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some amount of improvement the problem

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is that a lot of these proven strategies

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for improving mental health are

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difficult uncomfortable or unpleasant to

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implement and a trap I see people get

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sucked into all the time is they keep

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looking for new Solutions new answers

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new ideas not because they don't have

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any solutions but because they don't

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like the solutions they have they don't

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want to implement the things that they

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already know and so they spend hours and

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hours reading books listening to

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podcasts watching YouTube videos to try

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to find an easier faster or more venient

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way to make the changes they already

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know they should be making the thing

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about this is it's at best this is

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procrastination at worst it's avoidance

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sometimes we need to stop acquiring new

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information and focus on applying the

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information we already have and rather

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than looking for that magic bullet so to

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speak work on creating a foundation

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combined with all of the things we

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already know are definitely going to

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help us if we could get them going when

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I hear somebody in therapy say I've

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tried everything what they usually mean

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is I've tried everything that I want to

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try so that's why today instead of

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presenting A New Concept I'm going to

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review some things that you probably

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already know but what I am hoping to do

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is maybe present them in a new or novel

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way that will make them feel more

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accessible more attainable or more

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applicable than they previously did so

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without further do here are seven things

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that you probably already know you

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should be doing but might be struggling

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to implement into your life and the

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first is doing things that you are

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scared to do in other words exposure

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therapy facing your fears your comfort

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zone only grows when you are not in it

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this is critical for you to understand

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and engaging in activities that cause

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you anxiety or that cause you discomfort

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is a lot is it's kind of like stretching

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your emotional range in the same way

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that something like yoga or calisthenics

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is like stretching your movement range

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it doesn't necessarily feel great while

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you are doing it in fact it can often be

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an unpleasant experience while you're

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doing it but if you do it regularly

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navigating the world becomes more

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enjoyable and less painful and you're

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less likely to get hurt if you stretch

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regularly you are less likely to hurt

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your body when you're out and about

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moving around and there's fewer

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situations that you're unable to

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physically navigate right when you

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practice regular exposure therapy and

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work on in sort of a plan strategic

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manner facing and hopefully eventually

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Conquering the things you are afraid of

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the world starts to open up to you it

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becomes more accessible and less scary

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because there are fewer situations you

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can imagine that you would find yourself

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in that overwhelm your anxiety this is a

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huge part of why I used to be so

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isolated when I was younger it's because

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I was terrified of doing literally

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everything other than playing video

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games in my room to be honest with you

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and so I avoided people I avoided

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opportunity I avoided school I avoided

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work because I felt like I had so few

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skills and so little coping ability that

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it was only a matter of time before I'd

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encounter a situation that would

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completely overwhelm me so I didn't

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enter situations like literally I just

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didn't the more confidence you have

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about your ability to navigate these

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stressful situations the less scary life

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becomes and the more opportunities you

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have the second thing that you probably

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already know you should be doing but

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might be struggling to do is taking good

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care of your living space unless you are

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an absurdly wealthy person you are going

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to spend the vast majority of your life

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in two environments the place that you

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work and the place that you live now the

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place you live you might own your entire

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home you might rent you might have a

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room you might have a condo whatever you

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have you have an environment that you

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call home and so these two environments

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your work and your home they have a

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tremendous impact on your mental health

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if for no reason no other reason I

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should say than volume they're where you

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spend the majority of your time and so

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the way they look the way they feel the

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way they function is critical to your

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emotional well-being we know that the

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environments that you spend your time in

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have a huge impact on your mental health

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and basically what it comes down to for

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me my phrasing is if you're your home

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doesn't feel comfortable to you you

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basically never feel like your home it's

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like you don't have a home you don't

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have a space you have a home but what

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you don't have is a space in this world

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that feels right to you that's what

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you're missing and we all need that and

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I believe we all deserve that but you

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will not have one unless you make one

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you're the one that has to create and

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maintain it and I don't always like that

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either but I don't make the rules I just

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report on them and this is the way we

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work taking good care of your

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environment can be a very timec

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consuming task especially if you've

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neglected it for a long time but

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remember that you don't have to do it

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all at once right start small do a

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little bit each day and before you know

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it maybe your heart will have a home

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again and that's something that can be

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invaluable for our mental health

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Journeys the third thing you probably

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already know you should be doing but

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might be struggling to do is to actually

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Implement sleep hygiene techniques there

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there are two types of insomnia there's

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clinical insomnia and there's behavioral

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insomnia clinical insomnia is when for

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the most part you are doing things right

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your day is structured in a way that

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should allow you to fall asleep and stay

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asleep reasonably well but you are

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unable to do so and it takes hours to

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fall asleep behavioral insomnia is when

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you have a double shot at 300 p.m. you

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get into bed at 11:00 p.m. you scroll on

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your phone till midnight then you toss

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and turn until 3: in the morning in

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other words you have insomnia but it's

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because of choices you're making it's

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not because your brain doesn't know how

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to go to sleep it's because you're not

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letting it go to sleep and you've set up

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your life in a way that simply does not

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support sleep most people who struggle

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with sleep have behavioral insomnia not

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clinical insomnia clinical insomnia is

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actually relatively rare and it's

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usually a matter of lifestyle and habits

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that are primarily facilitating the the

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experience of insomnia so my question to

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you would be are you actually practicing

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sleep hygiene and and suffering clinical

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insomnia as a result or are you

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self-sabotaging and then complaining

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about it because not to put too fine a

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point on it but that's basically what

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behavioral insomnia is you are

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unintentionally I know I'm I'm

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oversimplifying things a little bit

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you're making it as difficult as

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possible for your brain to fall asleep

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and then being like brain why didn't you

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fall asleep I mean you're you're kind of

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gaslighting your sleep cycle in a sense

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it's a weird way to think of it I know

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but that's kind of what you're doing if

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you struggle with insomnia take a take a

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real honest inventory of your nighttime

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routine and ask yourself do I think it's

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reasonable that I should be able to fall

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asleep pretty quickly or am I basically

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taking everything I know about sleep

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throwing it out the window and thinking

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that's still going to work because it it

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won't you're you have a brain and you

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have a nervous system and we know a lot

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about how these factors affect our

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ability to fall asleep and stay asleep

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and so if sleep is not really a my

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it's just that most people aren't doing

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it right and and that's really what I

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want you to consider if you're

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struggling with insomnia am I am I doing

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it right or am I just gaslighting my own

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sleep cycle the fourth thing that you

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probably already know you should be

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doing but might be having trouble with

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is minimizing or eliminating drug and

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alcohol use now this one's a little bit

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different I know because this one is

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harder for a person to control directly

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than some of the other topics we're

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going to discuss here and I I believe me

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I am understanding of that most people

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who use drugs and alcohol use them

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because they want to feel anything other

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than what it is like to be themselves um

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and it seems like nothing could possibly

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worse than just waking up today and

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feeling like me and and frankly I know

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what that feeling is like substances put

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you on a physical and mental roller

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coaster though where instead of changing

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what it feels like to be you which is

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ultimately the reality that you are

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struggling with you are temporarily

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escaping what it feels like to be you

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and when the Escape wears up off you

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often feel even worse than before and

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therefore you feel an even stronger

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desire to escape from yourself which

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manifests as increased substance use and

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creates a downward spiral that the

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longer it goes on becomes harder and

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harder to extricate yourself from so if

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this is you I have a little bit of a

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different idea for you here because

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everything else in this video has been

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all about here's what you can do if

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you're struggling with drug and alcohol

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use and the pattern I just describ kind

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of sounds like you maybe it's time to

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admit that you cannot do this alone and

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that you need some help with this

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problem substance misuse is probably the

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hardest mental health condition to treat

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without support maybe tied with eating

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disorders because they're very similar

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neurologically and I think that's mainly

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because it's so easy to lie to yourself

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and you know most people aren't

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deceiving themselves about their

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depression or their anxiety so like well

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it's not that bad like usually you face

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those things pretty head on you're like

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no this is awful and I need help but

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when it comes to that produce a

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momentary sense of reward like eating

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disorders and substance misuse you tend

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to rationalize you tend to explain you

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tend to minimize you tend to make

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excuses and if you've had several

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unsuccessful attempts at changing those

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habits for yourself maybe it's time to

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stop putting so much pressure on

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yourself to accept some help and to

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accept some support in this domain there

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is no shame in that this is typically

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not a solo Endeavor and it might be time

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to think about asking for for help the

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fifth thing that you probably already

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know you should be doing but might be

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having a hard time doing is being

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Physically Active every day so I mean

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this one is no mystery right you

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probably had a million people tell you

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this already including your doctor every

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time you see them and every other

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Medical Professional you interact with

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you've probably heard it so many times

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that you're sick of hearing it and you

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have an innate automatic defensive

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response when someone says this to you

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so sorry about that because I probably

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just triggered it but here's the thing

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your brain needs blood your brain does

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not work very well if it does not have

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healthy accessible blood flow it's

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literally one of the resources your

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brain runs on it's like gasoline for

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your brain and most of us have very

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sedentary Lifestyles which negatively

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impact our cardiovascular health I mean

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that's that's just the way Society has

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it's not your fault that's the way

00:11:16.360 --> 00:11:19.160
Society has gone most jobs don't use our

00:11:19.160 --> 00:11:21.160
bodies if you have a very Physically

00:11:21.160 --> 00:11:22.600
Active job you probably don't need to

00:11:22.600 --> 00:11:23.600
worry about this because you are

00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:25.000
Physically Active every day it doesn't

00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:26.399
have to be extra right it doesn't have

00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:28.720
to be prescribed exercise if you get

00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:31.680
this in from your job or from your kids

00:11:31.680 --> 00:11:34.519
or whatever fine but if you're like me

00:11:34.519 --> 00:11:36.079
and you literally just sit on your butt

00:11:36.079 --> 00:11:38.600
for nine hours a day at work you need to

00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:41.560
add this in your predefined life doesn't

00:11:41.560 --> 00:11:45.079
have enough of it it's I'm not a fan of

00:11:45.079 --> 00:11:48.000
how Society has made us so sedentary but

00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.800
it is what it is since your brain needs

00:11:50.800 --> 00:11:53.360
blood to work right cardiovascular

00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:55.839
health is brain health if you constantly

00:11:55.839 --> 00:11:59.279
feel foggy forgetful distracted or Moody

00:11:59.279 --> 00:12:00.800
it might be because your brain doesn't

00:12:00.800 --> 00:12:02.639
have enough blood flow it might be

00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:03.839
because your brain doesn't have one of

00:12:03.839 --> 00:12:05.480
the resources that needs to keep your

00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:08.480
prefrontal cortex powered on because all

00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:11.040
the things that I just said live there

00:12:11.040 --> 00:12:13.440
and when your brain is lacking in any

00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:15.680
essential resource blood oxygen rest or

00:12:15.680 --> 00:12:18.519
caloric energy it enters a low power

00:12:18.519 --> 00:12:20.680
mode much like what's on your phone or

00:12:20.680 --> 00:12:23.000
your tablet or your laptop and certain

00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:24.880
processes don't work as well as they

00:12:24.880 --> 00:12:27.800
normally do the first part of the brain

00:12:27.800 --> 00:12:29.279
that takes the hit when we're low on

00:12:29.279 --> 00:12:31.639
resources is the prefrontal cortex it's

00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:33.440
executive functioning its emotion

00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:36.240
regulation it's social engagement so if

00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:37.720
those are things you're struggling with

00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:39.160
it's probably because your brain doesn't

00:12:39.160 --> 00:12:40.959
have all the resources it needs to do

00:12:40.959 --> 00:12:43.760
its job properly the one thing I always

00:12:43.760 --> 00:12:45.320
try to emphasize with physical activity

00:12:45.320 --> 00:12:48.320
too is like the way you do it really

00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:50.519
doesn't matter if you want to lift

00:12:50.519 --> 00:12:52.199
weights lift weights if you want to run

00:12:52.199 --> 00:12:53.600
run if you want to do team sports do

00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:55.920
team sports like if you hate some

00:12:55.920 --> 00:12:57.600
certain type of exercise don't do it

00:12:57.600 --> 00:12:59.760
it's not it's not huge

00:12:59.760 --> 00:13:02.360
critical how you do it it's just

00:13:02.360 --> 00:13:05.120
critical that you do it so find

00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:08.279
something that you either like ideally

00:13:08.279 --> 00:13:09.800
if there's nothing like literally

00:13:09.800 --> 00:13:11.160
nothing find the thing you hate the

00:13:11.160 --> 00:13:14.399
least it can be some weird obscure thing

00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:16.720
maybe you want to get into hobby horsing

00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:18.000
and if you don't know what that is you

00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.760
should look it up on social media it's a

00:13:19.760 --> 00:13:21.920
fascinating world if you do know what it

00:13:21.920 --> 00:13:23.880
is I appreciate the people who

00:13:23.880 --> 00:13:25.440
understand my obscure references because

00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:28.600
there are many of them just do something

00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:29.959
to get that that blood going to your

00:13:29.959 --> 00:13:32.920
brain you might be amazed how much it

00:13:32.920 --> 00:13:35.959
helps you really might be amazed the

00:13:35.959 --> 00:13:38.959
sixth and final thing that you probably

00:13:38.959 --> 00:13:40.920
asteris did this one probably know you

00:13:40.920 --> 00:13:42.800
should be doing but are probably having

00:13:42.800 --> 00:13:45.320
trouble doing is to stop beating

00:13:45.320 --> 00:13:47.560
yourself up about how long it is taking

00:13:47.560 --> 00:13:50.360
to get your life in order now I realize

00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.120
that you might have been doing that

00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.680
throughout this video already because as

00:13:54.680 --> 00:13:56.320
I'm saying things that you probably

00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:58.199
already knew you should be doing you

00:13:58.199 --> 00:13:59.399
might have been beating yourself up

00:13:59.399 --> 00:14:01.480
guilt tripping yourself shaming yourself

00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:04.440
and if you were knock it off right now

00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:06.880
sorry I had to say it that way but

00:14:06.880 --> 00:14:09.279
seriously you're not doing yourself any

00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:12.320
favors we all have enough pressure on us

00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:13.519
already probably more than enough

00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:15.079
pressure probably a maladaptive amount

00:14:15.079 --> 00:14:17.399
of pressure and changes hard our brains

00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:19.480
actively resist it because they're wired

00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:23.440
for homeostasis we associate familiarity

00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:25.880
with safety and with security and on a

00:14:25.880 --> 00:14:27.920
very basic survival level we fight back

00:14:27.920 --> 00:14:30.440
against our own attempts change putting

00:14:30.440 --> 00:14:32.759
too much pressure on yourself tends to

00:14:32.759 --> 00:14:35.639
keep you stuck so try patience and

00:14:35.639 --> 00:14:38.279
gentleness instead and see what happens

00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:41.720
it is amazing what people can do when

00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:43.759
they finally feel understood and are

00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:46.040
treated with respect and compassion and

00:14:46.040 --> 00:14:48.440
it is very possible that the person most

00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:49.920
standing in your way of feeling those

00:14:49.920 --> 00:14:51.720
things and experiencing those things is

00:14:51.720 --> 00:14:54.240
you