WEBVTT 00:00:01.240 --> 00:00:04.570 It's March, people, which means March Madness. 00:00:04.603 --> 00:00:05.905 And here at The Daily Show, 00:00:05.938 --> 00:00:08.031 we have our own bracket tournament, 00:00:08.023 --> 00:00:10.912 which we call Third Month Mania 00:00:10.976 --> 00:00:13.033 because our lawyers say it's generic enough to not get sued. 00:00:13.579 --> 00:00:15.915 Uh, now, our tournament isn't about basketball. 00:00:15.948 --> 00:00:17.750 It's about something much more important: 00:00:17.783 --> 00:00:19.752 Donald Trump's tweets. 00:00:19.785 --> 00:00:23.056 Insults, conspiracy theories, weird punctuation. 00:00:23.089 --> 00:00:26.692 All right, and so this year, on ThirdMonthMania.com, 00:00:26.725 --> 00:00:28.961 you can vote to decide 00:00:28.994 --> 00:00:33.699 which is the single greatest Donald Trump tweet of all time. 00:00:33.732 --> 00:00:35.435 There are some crazy ones. 00:00:35.468 --> 00:00:38.071 For more, let's go to Roy Wood Jr. and Hasan Minhaj 00:00:38.104 --> 00:00:39.705 to help break down the brackets. 00:00:39.738 --> 00:00:43.609 (cheers and applause) 00:00:43.642 --> 00:00:45.244 -Yeah! -Oh...! 00:00:45.277 --> 00:00:49.415 Hey. Welcome to another Third Month Mania, guys. 00:00:49.448 --> 00:00:51.545 -Yes. -Roy, this is going to be an amazing tournament. 00:00:52.451 --> 00:00:54.487 -Oh, it sure is, Hasan. -(whoops) 00:00:54.052 --> 00:00:56.119 What Donald Trump tweet is the greatest? 00:00:57.223 --> 00:00:58.591 Ooh, not an easy question. 00:00:58.624 --> 00:01:03.062 -This is a man who has tweeted nearly 35,000 times. -Mmm. 00:01:03.095 --> 00:01:06.499 And in order to narrow it down to our 64 contenders, 00:01:06.532 --> 00:01:10.770 we had to read through every single one of his tweets. 00:01:10.803 --> 00:01:14.707 Sometimes I still see them when I close my eyes. 00:01:14.074 --> 00:01:16.177 Let's talk about the four divisions this year, all right? 00:01:16.876 --> 00:01:19.512 -Yeah, yeah. -We've got celebrity tweets, 00:01:19.545 --> 00:01:21.247 tweets about Trump's enemies, 00:01:21.028 --> 00:01:22.163 government affairs, 00:01:22.448 --> 00:01:25.505 and a bunch of random (bleep) we call WTF. 00:01:26.051 --> 00:01:29.355 Four very competitive Trump tweet regions, Hasan. 00:01:29.388 --> 00:01:30.957 So, let's start in the celebrity region 00:01:30.099 --> 00:01:31.734 where the number one seat 00:01:32.658 --> 00:01:34.594 is Trump going right at his biggest foe, 00:01:34.627 --> 00:01:37.196 -Rosie O'Donnell, baby. -Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 00:01:37.229 --> 00:01:40.633 "Sorry, @Rosie is a mentally sick woman, 00:01:40.666 --> 00:01:44.137 "a bully, a dummy and, above all, a loser. 00:01:44.017 --> 00:01:46.019 Other than that, she's just wonderful." 00:01:46.205 --> 00:01:47.640 -Ooh! -(laughter) 00:01:47.673 --> 00:01:51.277 Just an incredible flurry of insults in just 140 characters. 00:01:51.031 --> 00:01:53.108 -I love how he tries to redeem it at the end. -Hmm. 00:01:54.113 --> 00:01:55.615 You know, it's like my dad says. 00:01:55.648 --> 00:01:57.383 "Hasan, you're dumb, a disappointment to our family, 00:01:57.416 --> 00:01:58.618 "and a disgrace to everyone, 00:01:58.651 --> 00:02:00.686 but technically, you're still my son." 00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:02.088 (laughter) 00:02:02.121 --> 00:02:03.489 Damn, that's cold, man. 00:02:03.522 --> 00:02:05.825 Ah, man, for an Indian family, that's a lullaby, baby. 00:02:05.858 --> 00:02:08.193 -(laughter) -I love you, Pop! -Ah, cool. 00:02:08.227 --> 00:02:09.495 Well, in round one, 00:02:09.527 --> 00:02:12.331 -that Rosie tweet is up against Miley Cyrus. -Mm. 00:02:12.364 --> 00:02:15.368 "@Miley Cyrus is on a very triky..." 00:02:15.401 --> 00:02:17.603 -Not "tricky." No "C." -(laughter) 00:02:17.636 --> 00:02:19.338 "...and slippery path. 00:02:19.371 --> 00:02:22.175 "Right now, the right moves will lead to greatness, 00:02:22.208 --> 00:02:24.810 the wrong moves to oblivion. Guidance." 00:02:24.843 --> 00:02:26.679 -Guidance! -(laughter) 00:02:26.712 --> 00:02:27.947 All caps. 00:02:27.098 --> 00:02:29.834 Wait. Is he giving the guidance? Is that how...? 00:02:30.749 --> 00:02:31.984 No, I think 00:02:32.017 --> 00:02:34.020 he's actually describing the concept of guidance. 00:02:34.053 --> 00:02:35.922 Maybe he thinks you just yell out "guidance" 00:02:35.955 --> 00:02:37.390 when someone needs help. 00:02:37.423 --> 00:02:38.624 -Guidance! -Guidance! 00:02:38.657 --> 00:02:39.959 -Guidance! -Guidance! 00:02:39.992 --> 00:02:41.827 -You know, it's a triky situation. -Indeed. 00:02:41.086 --> 00:02:44.190 But I think the Rosie tweet's gonna come out on top. Yeah. 00:02:44.997 --> 00:02:46.899 -Top seed for a good reason. -Mm-hmm. 00:02:46.932 --> 00:02:49.435 Go to ThirdMonthMania.com now and vote. 00:02:49.468 --> 00:02:51.971 But let's move on to the government affairs region, 00:02:52.004 --> 00:02:54.061 where the key match-up is all about the electoral college. 00:02:54.607 --> 00:02:56.209 -Right. -In 2012, Trump called it 00:02:56.242 --> 00:02:58.744 "a disaster for democracy." 00:02:58.777 --> 00:03:01.914 Okay, 2016, four years later, he says, 00:03:01.947 --> 00:03:05.184 "The Electoral College is actually genius." 00:03:05.217 --> 00:03:06.552 (laughter) 00:03:06.585 --> 00:03:08.421 Oh, this is classic Trump tweeting. 00:03:08.454 --> 00:03:11.023 Dude takes two sides on every single issue. 00:03:11.056 --> 00:03:13.192 Knows there's a paper trail, doesn't give a (bleep). 00:03:13.225 --> 00:03:16.128 -(laughter) -Oh, which one of these is going to win, Hasan? 00:03:16.161 --> 00:03:18.188 You know, I don't know, man, but this time, 00:03:18.464 --> 00:03:20.099 it's up to you guys, 00:03:20.132 --> 00:03:22.034 and this time, the popular vote actually matters. 00:03:22.067 --> 00:03:25.004 -Oh, satire! -(groaning, laughing) 00:03:25.037 --> 00:03:27.114 Now, over in the WTF region is my personal favorite tweet 00:03:27.084 --> 00:03:28.719 to go all the way. 00:03:29.508 --> 00:03:32.445 "I would like to extend my best wishes to all, 00:03:32.478 --> 00:03:34.480 "even the haters and losers 00:03:34.513 --> 00:03:36.610 on this special day, September 11th." 00:03:37.516 --> 00:03:39.518 (audience groaning) 00:03:39.551 --> 00:03:42.655 ⪠And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air... ⪠00:03:42.688 --> 00:03:44.156 I mean, what can you even say here? 00:03:44.189 --> 00:03:45.925 -Here is a man... -Mm-hmm. 00:03:45.958 --> 00:03:48.961 ...who truly understands the spirit of 9/11. 00:03:48.994 --> 00:03:52.365 Patriotism, unity 00:03:52.398 --> 00:03:55.134 and letting them haters know, I see your ass! 00:03:55.167 --> 00:03:57.169 -(laughter) -I see you. 00:03:57.202 --> 00:03:59.739 And finally, there is the enemies' region 00:03:59.772 --> 00:04:01.707 where my money is on this classic. 00:04:01.074 --> 00:04:02.843 "Barney Frank looked disgusting-- 00:04:03.542 --> 00:04:06.479 "nipples protruding-- in his blue shirt before Congress. 00:04:06.512 --> 00:04:09.548 -Very, very disrespectful." -(laughter) 00:04:09.581 --> 00:04:11.117 I don't even know what that means. 00:04:11.015 --> 00:04:12.683 I don't know what the (bleep) it means! 00:04:12.851 --> 00:04:14.720 I don't know. You know, it's... 00:04:14.753 --> 00:04:16.721 A Congressman's nipples 00:04:16.755 --> 00:04:19.091 once disrespected our feature president! 00:04:19.124 --> 00:04:20.526 -Look at him! -Oh, Roy, come... 00:04:20.559 --> 00:04:22.261 Roy, you can't hold a man accountable 00:04:22.294 --> 00:04:23.396 for what his nipples do! 00:04:23.429 --> 00:04:25.431 -(laughter) -Uh, you're right. You're right. 00:04:25.464 --> 00:04:27.533 That's why I tape mine down before we film. 00:04:27.566 --> 00:04:29.335 -(laughter) -Guidance! Hey! 00:04:29.368 --> 00:04:30.936 -Guidance. -Yeah, yeah. 00:04:30.969 --> 00:04:32.471 -(laughter) -This... 00:04:32.504 --> 00:04:34.273 (laughter) 00:04:34.306 --> 00:04:37.243 So now it's up to you at home to decide which tweets advance 00:04:37.276 --> 00:04:39.745 -to the round of 32. -The first round is now open. 00:04:39.778 --> 00:04:42.882 Go vote online at ThirdMonthMania.com 00:04:42.915 --> 00:04:45.451 -and share your pics with your friends. -And hurry up 00:04:45.484 --> 00:04:48.350 before Trump tweets some more crazy (bleep).