slurp, music

so what is empathy

and why is it very different from sympathy

empathy fuels connection,

sympathy drives disconnection

empathy, it is very interesting.

Theresa Wiseman, is a nursing schoar, who studied professions,

very diverse professions where empathy is relevant

and came up with

4 qualities of empathy.

Perspective taking - the ability to

take the perspective of another person

or .. or

recognise the perspective as their truth

staying out of judgement, not easy when you enjoy it as much as most of us do .. (crowd laughter)

Recognising emotion in other people and in communicating that

Empathy is feeling with people and to me I always think that empathy is kind of sacred space

when someone has gone into a deep hole and they shout out from the bottom

Hey I am stuck, it's dark

and overwhelmed

and then we say

Hey! I'm down. I know what it is like

down here and you are not alone

Sympathy is oooh....

(crowd laughter)

It's bad, uh uh (Crowd laughter)

uhhhh... no

You want a sandwich?

ummm... (Crowd laughter)

Empathy is a choice and it is vulnerable choice

because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.

Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begins with at least

(Crowd laughter) I had a ..., yeah, and we do it all the time

because you know why? Somebody just shared something with us, that is incredibly painful

and we are trying to silver lining it

I dont think that is a verb, but I am using it as one

We are trying to put a silver lining around it.

So, ......... I had a miscarriage

Oh.. at least you know you can get pregnant.

I think, my marriage is falling apart

At least, you have a marriage

Crowd laughter

John is getting kicked out of school

At least, Sarah is an A student

But one of the things we do some times

in the face of very difficult conversations, is

we try to make things better

If I share somehing with you that is very difficult, I'd rather you say

(sigh)

I dont even know what to say right now, I am glad you told me

(Pause) Because the truth is,

rarely can a response, make something better.

What makes something better is connection

Pause

Music