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slurp, music

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so what is empathy

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and why is it very different from sympathy

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empathy fuels connection,

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sympathy drives disconnection

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empathy, it is very interesting.

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Theresa Wiseman, is a nursing schoar, who studied professions,

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very diverse professions where empathy is relevant

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and came up with

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4 qualities of empathy.

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Perspective taking - the ability to

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take the perspective of another person

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or .. or

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recognise the perspective as their truth

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staying out of judgement, not easy when you enjoy it as much as most of us do .. (crowd laughter)

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Recognising emotion in other people and in communicating that

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Empathy is feeling with people and to me I always think that empathy is kind of sacred space

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when someone has gone into a deep hole and they shout out from the bottom

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Hey I am stuck, it's dark

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and overwhelmed

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and then we say

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Hey! I'm down. I know what it is like

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down here and you are not alone

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Sympathy is oooh....

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(crowd laughter)

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It's bad, uh uh (Crowd laughter)

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uhhhh... no

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You want a sandwich?

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ummm... (Crowd laughter)

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Empathy is a choice and it is vulnerable choice

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because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.

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Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begins with at least

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(Crowd laughter) I had a ..., yeah, and we do it all the time

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because you know why? Somebody just shared something with us, that is incredibly painful

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and we are trying to silver lining it

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I dont think that is a verb, but I am using it as one

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We are trying to put a silver lining around it.

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So, ......... I had a miscarriage

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Oh.. at least you know you can get pregnant.

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I think, my marriage is falling apart

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At least, you have a marriage

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Crowd laughter

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John is getting kicked out of school

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At least, Sarah is an A student

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But one of the things we do some times

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in the face of very difficult conversations, is

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we try to make things better

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If I share somehing with you that is very difficult, I'd rather you say

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(sigh)

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I dont even know what to say right now, I am glad you told me

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(Pause) Because the truth is,

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rarely can a response, make something better.

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What makes something better is connection

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Pause

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Music

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