slurp, music
so what is empathy
and why is it very different from sympathy
empathy fuels connection,
sympathy drives disconnection
empathy, it is very interesting.
Theresa Wiseman, is a nursing schoar, who studied professions,
very diverse professions where empathy is relevant
and came up with
4 qualities of empathy.
Perspective taking - the ability to
take the perspective of another person
or .. or
recognise the perspective as their truth
staying out of judgement, not easy when you enjoy it as much as most of us do .. (crowd laughter)
Recognising emotion in other people and in communicating that
Empathy is feeling with people and to me I always think that empathy is kind of sacred space
when someone has gone into a deep hole and they shout out from the bottom
Hey I am stuck, it's dark
and overwhelmed
and then we say
Hey! I'm down. I know what it is like
down here and you are not alone
Sympathy is oooh....
(crowd laughter)
It's bad, uh uh (Crowd laughter)
uhhhh... no
You want a sandwich?
ummm... (Crowd laughter)
Empathy is a choice and it is vulnerable choice
because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.
Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begins with at least
(Crowd laughter) I had a ..., yeah, and we do it all the time
because you know why? Somebody just shared something with us, that is incredibly painful
and we are trying to silver lining it
I dont think that is a verb, but I am using it as one
We are trying to put a silver lining around it.
So, ......... I had a miscarriage
Oh.. at least you know you can get pregnant.
I think, my marriage is falling apart
At least, you have a marriage
Crowd laughter
John is getting kicked out of school
At least, Sarah is an A student
But one of the things we do some times
in the face of very difficult conversations, is
we try to make things better
If I share somehing with you that is very difficult, I'd rather you say
(sigh)
I dont even know what to say right now, I am glad you told me
(Pause) Because the truth is,
rarely can a response, make something better.
What makes something better is connection
Pause
Music