WEBVTT 00:00:00.666 --> 00:00:03.564 Last year, I got a chance to watch the new "Star Wars" movie, 00:00:03.588 --> 00:00:04.743 which was fantastic, 00:00:04.767 --> 00:00:06.204 but one thing kept bugging me. 00:00:06.228 --> 00:00:08.160 I don't know if you noticed this or not. 00:00:08.184 --> 00:00:10.264 In this entirely technically advanced world, 00:00:10.288 --> 00:00:12.450 I did not see a single AED anywhere, 00:00:12.474 --> 00:00:13.882 which was totally shocking -- 00:00:13.906 --> 00:00:16.227 almost as shocking as not knowing what an AED is, 00:00:16.251 --> 00:00:17.644 which you guys do know. 00:00:17.668 --> 00:00:18.819 But for those at home, 00:00:18.843 --> 00:00:21.865 an AED is an automated external defibrillator. 00:00:21.889 --> 00:00:24.947 It's the device you use when your heart goes into cardiac arrest 00:00:24.971 --> 00:00:26.951 to shock it back into a normal rhythm, 00:00:26.975 --> 00:00:30.454 or, as one of the guys I was teaching a class to referred to it as: 00:00:30.478 --> 00:00:32.028 "The shocky-hearty-box thing." NOTE Paragraph 00:00:32.052 --> 00:00:33.709 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:33.733 --> 00:00:36.244 But I really can't blame the Empire, 00:00:36.268 --> 00:00:37.936 since health and safety regulations 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:40.106 aren't really their first order of business. 00:00:40.130 --> 00:00:42.244 Though, even if we -- 00:00:42.268 --> 00:00:46.107 I think worse than not having an AED would be if there was one there, 00:00:46.131 --> 00:00:48.179 but just, no one knew where to find it. 00:00:48.203 --> 00:00:51.993 These devices can drastically increase your chance of survival -- 00:00:52.017 --> 00:00:54.627 almost like a tauntaun on Hoth. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:54.651 --> 00:00:55.673 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:55.697 --> 00:00:58.875 But I'm pretty sure that stormtrooper is going to be toast, 00:00:58.899 --> 00:01:01.084 regardless if we have an AED or not, 00:01:01.108 --> 00:01:04.825 since what happens is the chest plate is going to be quite hard to get off, 00:01:04.849 --> 00:01:06.839 and like that tauntaun, 00:01:06.863 --> 00:01:10.275 the AED has a very short window of time at which it's highly effective. 00:01:10.299 --> 00:01:14.687 In this case -- basically, we've got to use it within the first 10 minutes. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:14.711 --> 00:01:17.813 The Jedi, on the other hand, have no problems with their outfits. 00:01:17.837 --> 00:01:19.569 Those robes open straight up, 00:01:19.593 --> 00:01:22.103 you can place the pads right onto the chest -- 00:01:22.127 --> 00:01:24.005 so upper-right-hand side of the chest, 00:01:24.029 --> 00:01:25.188 lower left, 00:01:25.212 --> 00:01:28.360 wait for the unit to determine if it's a shockable rhythm 00:01:28.384 --> 00:01:29.902 and get ready to shock. 00:01:29.926 --> 00:01:31.451 But, the Jedi do have a problem. 00:01:31.475 --> 00:01:33.117 They have a head appendage issue. 00:01:33.141 --> 00:01:36.336 And so I can be totally clear, thinking I'm ready to go, 00:01:36.360 --> 00:01:38.610 but I'm accidentally touching a tentacle, 00:01:38.634 --> 00:01:40.545 and inadvertently shocking myself. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:40.569 --> 00:01:41.989 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:42.013 --> 00:01:46.551 So before you hit that button, make sure you are clear 00:01:46.575 --> 00:01:48.446 and everyone else is clear. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:48.470 --> 00:01:50.947 Going back to that stormtrooper: 00:01:50.971 --> 00:01:53.369 if I did get that chest plate off in time, 00:01:53.393 --> 00:01:57.223 what would you do if you suddenly found there was a Wookiee under there, 00:01:57.247 --> 00:01:59.755 or possibly two Ewoks? NOTE Paragraph 00:01:59.779 --> 00:02:01.130 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:01.154 --> 00:02:02.427 Well, lucky for us, 00:02:02.451 --> 00:02:04.651 in the kit there's actually a razor, 00:02:04.675 --> 00:02:08.230 and we can use that to shave the chest on the upper-right-hand side 00:02:08.254 --> 00:02:09.783 and the lower left. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:10.751 --> 00:02:12.497 Wookiees also have another problem. 00:02:12.521 --> 00:02:13.949 They have an accessory issue. 00:02:13.973 --> 00:02:16.529 What we want to do is remove these -- 00:02:16.553 --> 00:02:19.968 anything between the two pads we want to remove, 00:02:19.992 --> 00:02:22.179 since it can cause something called "ARCing." 00:02:22.203 --> 00:02:24.153 For those who don't know what ARCing is, 00:02:24.177 --> 00:02:25.590 do you remember the Emperor, 00:02:25.614 --> 00:02:28.350 when he shoots electricity out the ends of his fingers -- NOTE Paragraph 00:02:28.374 --> 00:02:29.387 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:29.411 --> 00:02:31.042 That would be kind of like ARCing. 00:02:31.066 --> 00:02:32.217 Another thing that -- 00:02:32.241 --> 00:02:35.570 Oh! By the way, he creates that by wearing wool socks under his robes. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:35.594 --> 00:02:36.602 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:36.626 --> 00:02:39.743 We can also get ARCing if we have an extremely wet chest. 00:02:39.767 --> 00:02:43.210 The electricity travels across the surface instead of through the heart. 00:02:43.234 --> 00:02:46.133 We can correct this with the immortal words of Douglas Adams: 00:02:46.157 --> 00:02:48.927 "Don't panic," which most of us have done today -- NOTE Paragraph 00:02:48.951 --> 00:02:51.196 and also always having a towel. 00:02:51.220 --> 00:02:53.227 So, good words to go by. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:53.251 --> 00:02:57.010 The metal bikini -- unfortunately, this is where panic sets in -- 00:02:57.034 --> 00:02:58.236 like the modern bra, 00:02:58.260 --> 00:03:00.129 we have to make sure we remove, 00:03:00.153 --> 00:03:05.024 because this can cause severe ARCing along with burns. 00:03:05.048 --> 00:03:07.401 But unfortunately this opens up an issue 00:03:07.425 --> 00:03:10.348 that's almost as controversial as talking about the prequels. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:10.372 --> 00:03:11.468 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:11.492 --> 00:03:13.378 The mere mention of the word "nipples," 00:03:13.402 --> 00:03:15.546 and people get into a little bit of a tizzy. 00:03:15.570 --> 00:03:18.021 By the way, that is not a nipple, that's a cupcake. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:18.045 --> 00:03:20.468 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:20.492 --> 00:03:23.365 Chances are, if you do have to use this, 00:03:23.389 --> 00:03:25.327 this is going to be on someone you know. 00:03:25.351 --> 00:03:27.051 And remember, everyone has nipples, 00:03:27.075 --> 00:03:28.243 except for Jabba. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:28.267 --> 00:03:29.532 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:29.556 --> 00:03:31.744 But he does love cupcakes. 00:03:31.768 --> 00:03:32.919 Speaking about Jabba, 00:03:32.943 --> 00:03:35.459 if we do have to use an AED on him, 00:03:35.483 --> 00:03:37.325 remember pad placement is the same, 00:03:37.349 --> 00:03:39.130 even though he doesn't have nipples. 00:03:39.154 --> 00:03:42.277 So it's going to be upper-right-hand side, lower left. 00:03:42.301 --> 00:03:45.473 If we were going through, we're shocking, getting ready to go -- 00:03:45.497 --> 00:03:46.844 after we've done the shock, 00:03:46.868 --> 00:03:49.914 one of the things we need to do is remember to do compression. 00:03:49.938 --> 00:03:53.570 The preferred method is 30 compressions and two breaths 00:03:53.594 --> 00:03:56.107 in the center of the chest, between the nipples, 00:03:56.131 --> 00:03:57.960 pressing down at least two inches, 00:03:57.984 --> 00:03:59.928 no more than two and a half, 00:03:59.952 --> 00:04:02.975 at a rate of at least 100 beats a minute, 00:04:02.999 --> 00:04:04.674 no more than 120. 00:04:05.950 --> 00:04:08.782 Unfortunately, due to the size of Jabba's mouth 00:04:08.806 --> 00:04:10.571 and also what he puts in said mouth, 00:04:10.595 --> 00:04:15.028 we may not want to actually do the mouth-to-mouth part. 00:04:15.052 --> 00:04:17.533 So instead, we can do compression-only CPR. 00:04:17.557 --> 00:04:19.997 The way of remembering the compression-only part 00:04:20.021 --> 00:04:22.840 is we can actually use the Imperial March. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:22.864 --> 00:04:24.781 I would sing it for you -- 00:04:24.805 --> 00:04:26.246 (Laughter) 00:04:26.270 --> 00:04:31.127 Unfortunately, that would be more something an interrogation droid would do. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:31.151 --> 00:04:32.373 Yoda. 00:04:32.397 --> 00:04:34.052 Small little guy, like a baby. 00:04:34.076 --> 00:04:36.511 What we do is basically treat him like a baby, 00:04:36.535 --> 00:04:40.059 in the sense that we're going to place one pad in the center of the chest 00:04:40.083 --> 00:04:41.234 and one in the back. 00:04:41.258 --> 00:04:42.926 If we place them both in the front, 00:04:42.950 --> 00:04:45.520 they can be too close and cause severe ARCing, 00:04:45.544 --> 00:04:47.029 so we want to avoid that. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:47.053 --> 00:04:49.180 Hopefully, this helped to clarify 00:04:49.204 --> 00:04:51.506 and put some light on some of the darker issues 00:04:51.530 --> 00:04:53.750 of using an AED in the Star Wars universe, 00:04:53.774 --> 00:04:55.238 or any universe in total. 00:04:55.262 --> 00:04:56.703 I'll leave you with one point. 00:04:56.727 --> 00:04:59.519 Remember, if you do find yourself dealing with a Wookiee, 00:04:59.543 --> 00:05:01.191 do not shave the entire Wookiee. 00:05:01.215 --> 00:05:02.681 This takes way too much time, 00:05:02.705 --> 00:05:04.193 and it only pisses them off. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:04.217 --> 00:05:05.225 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:05.249 --> 00:05:06.413 Thank you very much. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:06.437 --> 00:05:08.966 (Applause)