[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.67,0:00:03.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Last year, I got a chance to watch\Nthe new "Star Wars" movie,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.59,0:00:04.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was fantastic,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.77,0:00:06.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but one thing kept bugging me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.23,0:00:08.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if you noticed this or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.18,0:00:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this entirely technically\Nadvanced world,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.29,0:00:12.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not see a single AED anywhere,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.47,0:00:13.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was totally shocking --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.91,0:00:16.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,almost as shocking\Nas not knowing what an AED is,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.25,0:00:17.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which you guys do know.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.67,0:00:18.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for those at home,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.84,0:00:21.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an AED is an automated\Nexternal defibrillator.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.89,0:00:24.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the device you use\Nwhen your heart goes into cardiac arrest
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.97,0:00:26.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to shock it back into a normal rhythm,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.98,0:00:30.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, as one of the guys I was teaching\Na class to referred to it as:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.48,0:00:32.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The shocky-hearty-box thing."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.05,0:00:33.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.73,0:00:36.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I really can't blame the Empire,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.27,0:00:37.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since health and safety regulations
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.96,0:00:40.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aren't really their first\Norder of business.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.13,0:00:42.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Though, even if we --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.27,0:00:46.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think worse than not having an AED\Nwould be if there was one there,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.13,0:00:48.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but just, no one knew where to find it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.20,0:00:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These devices can drastically increase\Nyour chance of survival --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.02,0:00:54.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,almost like a tauntaun on Hoth.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.65,0:00:55.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.70,0:00:58.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm pretty sure\Nthat stormtrooper is going to be toast,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.90,0:01:01.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regardless if we have an AED or not,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.11,0:01:04.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since what happens is the chest plate\Nis going to be quite hard to get off,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.85,0:01:06.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and like that tauntaun,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.86,0:01:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the AED has a very short window of time\Nat which it's highly effective.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.30,0:01:14.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this case -- basically, we've got\Nto use it within the first 10 minutes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.71,0:01:17.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Jedi, on the other hand,\Nhave no problems with their outfits.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.84,0:01:19.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those robes open straight up,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.59,0:01:22.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can place the pads\Nright onto the chest --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.13,0:01:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so upper-right-hand side of the chest,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.03,0:01:25.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lower left,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.21,0:01:28.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wait for the unit to determine\Nif it's a shockable rhythm
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.38,0:01:29.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and get ready to shock.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.93,0:01:31.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, the Jedi do have a problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.48,0:01:33.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have a head appendage issue.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.14,0:01:36.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I can be totally clear,\Nthinking I'm ready to go,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.36,0:01:38.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm accidentally touching a tentacle,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.63,0:01:40.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and inadvertently shocking myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.57,0:01:41.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.01,0:01:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So before you hit that button,\Nmake sure you are clear
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.58,0:01:48.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everyone else is clear.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.47,0:01:50.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Going back to that stormtrooper:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.97,0:01:53.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I did get that chest plate off in time,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.39,0:01:57.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would you do if you suddenly found\Nthere was a Wookiee under there,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.25,0:01:59.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or possibly two Ewoks?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.78,0:02:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.15,0:02:02.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, lucky for us,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.45,0:02:04.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the kit there's actually a razor,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.68,0:02:08.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we can use that to shave the chest\Non the upper-right-hand side
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.25,0:02:09.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the lower left.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.75,0:02:12.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wookiees also have another problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.52,0:02:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have an accessory issue.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.97,0:02:16.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we want to do is remove these --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.55,0:02:19.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything between the two pads\Nwe want to remove,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.99,0:02:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since it can cause\Nsomething called "ARCing."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.20,0:02:24.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For those who don't know what ARCing is,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.18,0:02:25.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you remember the Emperor,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.61,0:02:28.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he shoots electricity\Nout the ends of his fingers --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.37,0:02:29.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.41,0:02:31.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That would be kind of like ARCing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.07,0:02:32.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another thing that --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.24,0:02:35.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh! By the way, he creates that\Nby wearing wool socks under his robes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.59,0:02:36.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.63,0:02:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can also get ARCing if we have\Nan extremely wet chest.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.77,0:02:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The electricity travels across the surface\Ninstead of through the heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.23,0:02:46.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can correct this with the immortal\Nwords of Douglas Adams:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.16,0:02:48.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't panic," which most of us\Nhave done today --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.95,0:02:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also always having a towel.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.22,0:02:53.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, good words to go by.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.25,0:02:57.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The metal bikini -- unfortunately,\Nthis is where panic sets in --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.03,0:02:58.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the modern bra,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.26,0:03:00.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have to make sure we remove,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.15,0:03:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this can cause\Nsevere ARCing along with burns.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.05,0:03:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But unfortunately this opens up an issue
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.42,0:03:10.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's almost as controversial\Nas talking about the prequels.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.37,0:03:11.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.49,0:03:13.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The mere mention of the word "nipples,"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.40,0:03:15.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and people get into a little\Nbit of a tizzy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.57,0:03:18.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the way, that is not a nipple,\Nthat's a cupcake.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.04,0:03:20.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.49,0:03:23.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chances are, if you do have to use this,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.39,0:03:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is going to be on someone you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.35,0:03:27.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And remember, everyone has nipples,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.08,0:03:28.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except for Jabba.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.27,0:03:29.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.56,0:03:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But he does love cupcakes.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.77,0:03:32.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speaking about Jabba,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.94,0:03:35.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we do have to use an AED on him,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.48,0:03:37.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,remember pad placement is the same,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.35,0:03:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though he doesn't have nipples.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.15,0:03:42.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's going to be\Nupper-right-hand side, lower left.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.30,0:03:45.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we were going through, we're shocking,\Ngetting ready to go --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.50,0:03:46.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after we've done the shock,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.87,0:03:49.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the things we need to do\Nis remember to do compression.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.94,0:03:53.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The preferred method\Nis 30 compressions and two breaths
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.59,0:03:56.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the center of the chest,\Nbetween the nipples,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.13,0:03:57.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pressing down at least two inches,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.98,0:03:59.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no more than two and a half,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.95,0:04:02.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at a rate of at least 100 beats a minute,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.100,0:04:04.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no more than 120.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.95,0:04:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, due to the size\Nof Jabba's mouth
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.81,0:04:10.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also what he puts in said mouth,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.60,0:04:15.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we may not want to actually\Ndo the mouth-to-mouth part.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.05,0:04:17.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So instead, we can do\Ncompression-only CPR.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.56,0:04:19.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way of remembering\Nthe compression-only part
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.02,0:04:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is we can actually use the Imperial March.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.86,0:04:24.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would sing it for you --
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.80,0:04:26.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.27,0:04:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, that would be more\Nsomething an interrogation droid would do.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.15,0:04:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yoda.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.40,0:04:34.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Small little guy, like a baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.08,0:04:36.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we do is basically\Ntreat him like a baby,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.54,0:04:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the sense that we're going to place\None pad in the center of the chest
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.08,0:04:41.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one in the back.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.26,0:04:42.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we place them both in the front,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.95,0:04:45.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they can be too close\Nand cause severe ARCing,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.54,0:04:47.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we want to avoid that.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.05,0:04:49.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopefully, this helped to clarify
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.20,0:04:51.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and put some light\Non some of the darker issues
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.53,0:04:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of using an AED in the Star Wars universe,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.77,0:04:55.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or any universe in total.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.26,0:04:56.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll leave you with one point.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.73,0:04:59.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember, if you do find yourself\Ndealing with a Wookiee,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.54,0:05:01.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do not shave the entire Wookiee.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.22,0:05:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This takes way too much time,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.70,0:05:04.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it only pisses them off.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.22,0:05:05.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.25,0:05:06.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.44,0:05:08.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)