[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.70,0:00:03.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Last year I got a chance to watch\Nthe new "Star Wars" movie,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.50,0:00:04.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was fantastic,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.50,0:00:05.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but one thing kept bugging me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.96,0:00:08.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if you guys\Nnoticed this or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.06,0:00:10.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this entirely technically\Nadvanced world,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.11,0:00:12.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not see a single AED anywhere,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.66,0:00:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was totally shocking.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.96,0:00:16.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Almost as shocking\Nas not knowing what an AED is,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.25,0:00:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which you guys do know.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.80,0:00:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for those at home,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.92,0:00:22.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an AED is an automated\Nexternal defibrillator.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.05,0:00:25.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the device you use when\Nyou heart goes into cardiac arrest
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.01,0:00:28.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to shock it back into a normal rhythm ...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.11,0:00:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or as one of the guys I was\Nteaching a class to referred to it as
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.15,0:00:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The shocky-hearty-box thing."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.96,0:00:33.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.96,0:00:36.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I really can't blame the empire,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.38,0:00:38.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since health and safety regulations
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.07,0:00:40.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aren't really their first\Norder of business.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.51,0:00:42.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Though, even if we --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.44,0:00:44.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think worse than not having an AED,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.57,0:00:46.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would be if there was one there,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.37,0:00:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but just, no one knew where to find it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.83,0:00:52.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These devices can drastically increase\Nyou chance of survival --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.34,0:00:54.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,almost like a tauntaun on Hoth.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.97,0:00:55.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.97,0:00:57.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm pretty sure
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.46,0:00:59.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that that storm trooper \Nis going to be toast
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.58,0:01:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regardless if we have an AED or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.56,0:01:05.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since what happens is the chest plate\Nis going to be quite hard to get off,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.30,0:01:07.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and like that tauntaun,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.09,0:01:10.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the AED has a very short window of time\Nat which it's highly effective.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.58,0:01:12.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this case, around basically about --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.64,0:01:14.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've got to use it\Nwithin the first 10 minutes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.22,0:01:18.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Jedi on the other hand have\Nno problems with their outfits.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.18,0:01:19.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those robes open straight up,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.95,0:01:22.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can place the pads\Nright onto the chest --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.32,0:01:24.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so upper right-hand side of the chest,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.22,0:01:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lower left,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.38,0:01:28.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wait for the unit to determine\Nif [the shock will rhytm]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.62,0:01:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and get ready to shock.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.16,0:01:31.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, the Jedi do have a problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.70,0:01:33.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have a head appendage issue,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.38,0:01:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I can be totally clear,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.31,0:01:36.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thinking I'm ready to go,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.53,0:01:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm accidentally touching a tentacle,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.80,0:01:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and inadvertently shocking myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.02,0:01:42.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.15,0:01:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So before you hit that button,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.06,0:01:46.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make sure you are clear,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.71,0:01:48.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everyone else is clear.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.59,0:01:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Going back to that storm trooper,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.09,0:01:53.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I did get that chest plate off in time,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.83,0:01:54.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would you do
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.83,0:01:57.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you suddenly found there\Nwas a Wookiee under there?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.36,0:02:00.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or possibly two Ewoks?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.15,0:02:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.28,0:02:02.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, lucky for us,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.62,0:02:04.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the kit there's actually a razor,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.99,0:02:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we can use that to shave the chest\Non the upper right-hand side
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.56,0:02:10.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the lower left.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.85,0:02:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wookiees also have another problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.52,0:02:14.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have an accessory issue.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.54,0:02:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we want to do is\Nwe want to remove these --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.80,0:02:20.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything between the two pads\Nwe want to remove
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.17,0:02:22.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since it can cause\Nsomething called arcing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.44,0:02:24.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For those who don't know what arcing is,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.34,0:02:25.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you remember the emperor,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.68,0:02:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he shoots electricity\Nout the ends of his fingers --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.48,0:02:29.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.48,0:02:31.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That would be kind of like arcing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.11,0:02:32.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another thing --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.11,0:02:33.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the way,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.11,0:02:35.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he creates that by wearing\Nwool socks under his robes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.69,0:02:36.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.69,0:02:39.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can also get arcing if we have\Nan extremely wet chest.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.89,0:02:43.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The electricity travels across the surface\Ninstead of through the heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.27,0:02:46.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can correct this with the\Nimmortal words of Douglas Adams,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.14,0:02:47.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't panic,"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.14,0:02:48.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which most of us have done today --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.84,0:02:49.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.84,0:02:51.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also "always having a towel."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.69,0:02:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, good words to [live] by.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.51,0:02:54.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The metal bikini --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.92,0:02:57.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unfortnuately, this is where\Npanic sets in --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.19,0:02:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the modern bra,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.19,0:03:00.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have to make sure we remove,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.25,0:03:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this can cause\Nsevere arcing along with burns.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.34,0:03:07.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But unfortunately this opens up an issue
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.55,0:03:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's almost as controversial\Nas talking about the prequels.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.40,0:03:11.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.66,0:03:13.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The mere mention of the word nipples
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.40,0:03:15.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and people get into a little\Nbit of a tizzy --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.60,0:03:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the way,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.60,0:03:18.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is not a nipple, that's a cupcake.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.47,0:03:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.31,0:03:22.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chances are,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.31,0:03:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you do have to use this,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.66,0:03:25.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is going to be on someone you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.71,0:03:27.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And remember, everyone has nipples --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.55,0:03:28.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except for Jabba.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.56,0:03:29.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.61,0:03:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But he does love cupcakes.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.11,0:03:33.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speaking of Jabba,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.14,0:03:35.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we do have to use an AED on him,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.94,0:03:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,remember pad placement is the same,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.62,0:03:39.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though he doesn't have nipples.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.35,0:03:41.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's going to be upper-right hand side,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.36,0:03:42.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lower left.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.45,0:03:43.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The preferred method,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.45,0:03:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we were going through shocking,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.25,0:03:46.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting ready to go --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.29,0:03:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after we've done the shock,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.63,0:03:49.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the things we need to do
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.13,0:03:50.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is remember to do compression.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.59,0:03:53.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The preferred method of compression\Nis 30 compressions and two breaths
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.89,0:03:55.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the center of the chest,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.24,0:03:56.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between the nipples,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.30,0:03:58.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pressing down at least two inches,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.16,0:04:00.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no more than two-and-a-half,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.12,0:04:03.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at a rate of at least 100 beats a minute,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.34,0:04:05.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no more than 120.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.16,0:04:09.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, due to the size\Nof Jabba's mouth,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.01,0:04:10.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also what he puts in said mouth,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.80,0:04:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we may not want to actually sort of ...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.76,0:04:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do the mouth-to-mouth part,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.20,0:04:17.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so instead we can do\Ncompression-only CPR.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.70,0:04:20.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way of remembering\Nthe compression-only part
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.30,0:04:23.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is we can actually use\N"The Imperial March."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.14,0:04:24.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.14,0:04:26.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would sing it for you,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.49,0:04:27.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unfortunately,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.48,0:04:30.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would be more something\Nan interrogation droid would do.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.15,0:04:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yoda.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.50,0:04:33.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Small little guy,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.54,0:04:34.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like a baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.54,0:04:37.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we do is we basically\Ntreat him like a baby
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.14,0:04:40.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the sense that we're going to place\None pad in the center of the chest
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.56,0:04:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one in the back.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.61,0:04:43.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we place them both in the front,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.29,0:04:45.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they can be too close\Nand cause severe arcing,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.90,0:04:47.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we want to avoid that.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.40,0:04:49.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopefully, this helped to clarify
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.32,0:04:51.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and put some light on some\Nof the darker issues
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.52,0:04:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of using an AED in the Star Wars universe,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.77,0:04:55.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or any universe in total.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.67,0:04:57.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll leave you with one point.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.14,0:04:59.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember, if you do find yourself\Ndealing with a Wookiee,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.81,0:05:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do not shave the entire Wookiee.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.34,0:05:02.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This takes way too much time,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.72,0:05:04.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it only pisses them off.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.29,0:05:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.29,0:05:06.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.48,0:05:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)