[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Last year I got a chance to watch\Nthe new "Star Wars" movie,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was fantastic,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but one thing kept bugging me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if you guys\Nnotice this or not.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this entirely technically\Nadvanced world,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not see a single AED anywhere,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was totally shocking.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Almost as shocking\Nas not knowing what an AED is,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which you guys do know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but for those at home,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an AED is an automated\Nexternal defribillator.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the device you use when\Nyou heart goes into cardiac arrest
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to shock it back into a normal rhythm.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or as one of the guys I was\Nteaching a class to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,referred to it as "The shocky\Nhearty-box thing."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I really can't blame the empire,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since health and safety regulations
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aren't really their first\Norder of business.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Though --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even if we,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think worse than not having an AED,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would be if there was one there,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but just, no one knew where to find it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These devices can drastically increase\Nyou chance of survival --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,almost like a Tauntaun [on hoff].
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm pretty sure
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that that storm trooper \Ns going to be toast
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regardless if we have an AED or not.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since what happens is the chest plate\Nis going to be quite hard to get off,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and like that Tauntaun,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the AED has a very short window of time\Nat which it's highly effective.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this case, around basically about --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've got to use it\Nwithin the first 10 minutes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Jedi on the other hand have\Nno problems with their outfit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those robes open straight up,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can place the pads\Nright onto the chest,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so upper-right-hand-side of the chest,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lower-left,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wait for the unit to determine\Nif the [shock will rhythm]
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and get ready to shock.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, the Jedi do have one problem.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have a head appendage issue,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I can be totally clear,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thinking I'm ready to go,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm accidentally touching a tentacle
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and inadvertently shocking myself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So before you hit that button,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make sure you are clear,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everyone else is clear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Going back to that storm trooper,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I did get that chest plate off in time,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would you do
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you suddenly found there was\Na Wookie under there?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or possibly two Ewoks?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, luck for us,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the kit there's actually a razor,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we can use that to shave the chest\Non the upper right-hand side
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the lower left.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wookies also have another problem.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have an accessory issue.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we want to do is that we\Nwant to remove these --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything between the two pads\Nwe want to remove
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since it can cause\Nsomething called [arcing].
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For those who don't know what arcing is,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you remember the emperor,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he shoots electricity\Nout the ends of his fingers --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That would be kind of like arching.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another thing --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the way,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he creates that by wearing\Nwool socks under his robes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can also get arcing if we have\Nand extremely wet chest.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The electricity travels across the surface\Ninstead of through the heart.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can correct this with the\Nimmortal words of Douglas Adams,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't panic,"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which most of us have done today --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also always having a towel.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, good words to live by.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The metal bikini --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unfortnuately, this is where\Npanic sets in --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the modern bra,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have to make sure we remove,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this can cause\Nsevere arching along with burns.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But unfortunately this opens up an issue
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's almost as controversial\Nas talking about the prequels.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The mere mention of the word nipples
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and people get into a little\Nbit of a tizzy --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the way,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is not a nipple, that's a cupcake.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chances are,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you do have to use this,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is going to be on someone you know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And remember, everyone has nipples --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except for Jaba.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But he does love cupcakes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speaking of Jaba,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we do have to use an AED on him,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,remember pad placement is the same,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though he doesn't have nipples.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's going to be upper-right hand side,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lower left.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The preferred method,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we were going through shocking,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting ready to go --
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after we've done the shock,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the things we need to do
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is remember to do compression.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The preferred method of compression\Nis 30 compressions and two breaths
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the center of the chest,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between the nipples,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pressing down at least two inches,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no more than two-and-a-half,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at a rate of at least 100 beats a minute,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no more than 120.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, due to the size\Nof Jaba's mouth,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also what he puts in said mouth,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we may not want to actually sort of ...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do the mouth-to-mouth part,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so instead we can do\Ncompression-only CPR.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way of remembering\Nthe compression-only part
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is we can actually use the imperial march.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would sing it for you,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unfortunately,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would be more something\Nthat interrogation droid would do.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yoda.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Small little guy,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like a baby.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we do is we basically\Ntreat him like a baby
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the sense that we're going to put\None pad in the center of the chest
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one in the back.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we place them both in the front,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they can either be too close\Nand cause severe arcing,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we want to avoid that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopefully this helped to clarify
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and put some light on some\Nof the darker issues
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of using an AED in the Star Wars universe,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or any universe in total.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll leave you with one point.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember, if you do find yourself\Ndealing with a Wookiee,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do not shave the entire Wookiee.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This takes way too much time,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it only pisses them off.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)