Anyway,

I'd been looking for a job for a while

One evening I couldn't take it any more

I sent 254 copy-pasted emails
to all the businesses nearby

If I'm doing a boring job
Might as well be near home

Only one rang me back

I didn't know which job it was for

But I replied sincerely

"It would be an honour to join your team"

I hung up. 
I typed the name of the company into Google

It was either an STD, a branch of the UN
or some guys who rent out photocopiers

"Guys who rent out photocopiers"

I was well prepared
I had printed out my CV

In the 'Leisure' section
I wrote that I liked kayaking

I'd never been kayaking

But I like palindromes

I was wearing the suit I wear
to weddings, funerals and interviews

Next to me there was this guy

He seemed weird
He was too put-together

I thought he must be hiding something

The boss called my name 
We sat down

I looked at his tie,
It had Goofy on it

I wondered if he'd really gone into a shop and said:

"Hello, I'd like a Goofy tie becauase I'm insane"

That made me laugh

He saw me laughing but he thought it was because his tie was cool

He asked; "Do you speak English'

I said 'Yes'

The he asked;
"Where are you from?"

I answered: 'Yes'

<i>Fluent English</i>

He asked me what my biggest weakness was

I was torn between:

Shy, neurotic, obsessive, cowardly, depressive, lazy, liar

I answered: 'Perfectionist?'

Really it was 'Liar'

He said: 'You like kayaking?'

I said; 'Yes'

He said 'Sea kayak or river kayak?'

I said...

Did you notice it's a palindrome?

He crossed out 'kayaking'

He said 'We'll be in touch'

I heard 'Go fuck yourself'

Anyway, I went to a job interview