Anyway,
I'd been looking for a job for a while
One evening I couldn't take it any more
I sent 254 copy-pasted emails to all the businesses nearby
If I'm doing a boring job Might as well be near home
Only one rang me back
I didn't know which job it was for
But I replied sincerely
"It would be an honour to join your team"
I hung up. I typed the name of the company into Google
It was either an STD, a branch of the UN or some guys who rent out photocopiers
"Guys who rent out photocopiers"
I was well prepared I had printed out my CV
In the 'Leisure' section I wrote that I liked kayaking
I'd never been kayaking
But I like palindromes
I was wearing the suit I wear to weddings, funerals and interviews
Next to me there was this guy
He seemed weird He was too put-together
I thought he must be hiding something
The boss called my name We sat down
I looked at his tie, It had Goofy on it
I wondered if he'd really gone into a shop and said:
"Hello, I'd like a Goofy tie becauase I'm insane"
That made me laugh
He saw me laughing but he thought it was because his tie was cool
He asked; "Do you speak English'
I said 'Yes'
The he asked; "Where are you from?"
I answered: 'Yes'
Fluent English
He asked me what my biggest weakness was
I was torn between:
Shy, neurotic, obsessive, cowardly, depressive, lazy, liar
I answered: 'Perfectionist?'
Really it was 'Liar'
He said: 'You like kayaking?'
I said; 'Yes'
He said 'Sea kayak or river kayak?'
I said...
Did you notice it's a palindrome?
He crossed out 'kayaking'
He said 'We'll be in touch'
I heard 'Go fuck yourself'
Anyway, I went to a job interview