WEBVTT 00:00:01.617 --> 00:00:03.582 So when I was eight years old, 00:00:03.582 --> 00:00:05.803 a new girl came to join the class. 00:00:05.803 --> 00:00:08.773 She was so impressive, 00:00:08.773 --> 00:00:11.064 as the new girl always seems to be. 00:00:11.064 --> 00:00:13.733 She had vast quantities of very shiny hair 00:00:13.733 --> 00:00:17.081 and a cute little pencil case, 00:00:17.081 --> 00:00:20.361 super-strong on state capitals, 00:00:20.361 --> 00:00:22.853 just a great speller. 00:00:22.853 --> 00:00:27.573 And I just curdled with jealousy that year, 00:00:27.573 --> 00:00:31.346 until I hatched my devious plan. 00:00:31.346 --> 00:00:35.579 So one day I stayed a little late after school, 00:00:35.579 --> 00:00:39.659 a little too late, and I lurked in the girl's bathroom. 00:00:39.659 --> 00:00:41.718 When the coast was clear, I emerged, 00:00:41.718 --> 00:00:43.688 crept into the classroom, 00:00:43.688 --> 00:00:47.590 and took from my teacher's desk the grade book. 00:00:47.590 --> 00:00:49.926 And then I did it. 00:00:49.926 --> 00:00:52.293 I fiddled with my rival's grades, 00:00:52.293 --> 00:00:55.123 just a little, just demoted some of those A's. 00:00:55.123 --> 00:00:57.202 all of those A's, and 00:00:57.202 --> 00:00:59.038 -- (Laughter) -- 00:00:59.038 --> 00:01:02.029 I got ready to return the book to the drawer, 00:01:02.029 --> 00:01:04.846 when hang on, some of my other classmates 00:01:04.846 --> 00:01:08.846 had appallingly good grades too. 00:01:08.846 --> 00:01:10.864 So, in a frenzy, 00:01:10.864 --> 00:01:12.698 I corrected everybody's marks, 00:01:12.698 --> 00:01:14.653 not imaginatively, not imaginatively. 00:01:14.653 --> 00:01:16.736 I gave everybody a row of D's 00:01:16.736 --> 00:01:19.752 and I gave myself a row of A's, 00:01:19.752 --> 00:01:22.552 just because I was there, you know, might as well. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:22.552 --> 00:01:28.024 And I am still baffled by my behavior. 00:01:28.024 --> 00:01:30.359 I don't understand where the idea came from. 00:01:30.359 --> 00:01:33.903 I don't understand why I felt so great doing it. 00:01:33.903 --> 00:01:35.919 I felt great. I felt great. 00:01:35.919 --> 00:01:38.019 I don't understand why I was never caught. 00:01:38.019 --> 00:01:39.895 I mean, it should have been so blatantly obvious. 00:01:39.895 --> 00:01:41.623 I was never caught. 00:01:41.623 --> 00:01:43.559 But most of all, I am baffled by 00:01:43.559 --> 00:01:45.328 why did it bother me so much 00:01:45.328 --> 00:01:47.102 that this little girl, this tiny little girl, 00:01:47.102 --> 00:01:48.831 was so good at spelling? 00:01:48.831 --> 00:01:50.710 Jealousy baffles me. 00:01:50.710 --> 00:01:53.450 It's so mysterious, and it's so pervasive. 00:01:53.450 --> 00:01:56.010 You know, we know babies suffer from jealousy. 00:01:56.010 --> 00:01:59.474 We know primates do. Bluebirds are actually very prone. 00:01:59.474 --> 00:02:02.963 We know that jealousy is the number one cause 00:02:02.963 --> 00:02:05.971 of spousal murder in the United States. 00:02:05.971 --> 00:02:08.906 And yet, I have never read a study 00:02:08.906 --> 00:02:12.205 that can parse to me its loneliness 00:02:12.205 --> 00:02:17.306 or its longevity or its grim thrill. 00:02:17.306 --> 00:02:19.906 For that, we have to go to fiction, 00:02:19.906 --> 00:02:22.046 because the novel is the lab 00:02:22.046 --> 00:02:23.820 that has studied jealousy 00:02:23.820 --> 00:02:25.894 in every possible configuration. 00:02:25.894 --> 00:02:28.757 In fact, I don't know if it's an exaggeration to say 00:02:28.757 --> 00:02:31.112 that if we didn't have jealousy, 00:02:31.112 --> 00:02:33.477 could we even have literature? 00:02:33.477 --> 00:02:37.206 Well no faithless Helen, no "Odyssey." 00:02:37.206 --> 00:02:40.228 No jealous king, no "Arabian Knights." 00:02:40.228 --> 00:02:42.196 No Shakespeare. 00:02:43.598 --> 00:02:45.555 There goes high school reading lists, 00:02:45.555 --> 00:02:47.367 because we're losing "Sound and the Fury," 00:02:47.367 --> 00:02:49.616 we're losing "Gatsby," "Son Also Rises," 00:02:49.616 --> 00:02:53.743 we're losing "Madame Bovary," "Anna K." 00:02:53.743 --> 00:02:56.055 No jealousy, no Proust, and now, I mean, 00:02:56.055 --> 00:02:57.911 I know it's fashionable to say that Proust 00:02:57.911 --> 00:02:59.795 has the answers to everything, 00:02:59.795 --> 00:03:02.064 but in the case of jealousy, in the case of jealousy 00:03:02.064 --> 00:03:04.965 he kind of does, he kind of does. 00:03:04.965 --> 00:03:07.229 This year is the centennial of his masterpiece, 00:03:07.229 --> 00:03:09.128 "In Search of Lost Time," 00:03:09.128 --> 00:03:12.737 and it's the most exhaustive study of sexual jealousy 00:03:12.737 --> 00:03:15.104 and just regular competitiveness, my brand, 00:03:15.104 --> 00:03:16.936 that we can hope to have. 00:03:16.936 --> 00:03:17.815 (Laughter) 00:03:17.815 --> 00:03:20.047 And we think about Proust, we think 00:03:20.047 --> 00:03:21.703 about the sentimental bits, right? 00:03:21.703 --> 00:03:23.565 We think about a little boy trying to get to sleep. 00:03:23.565 --> 00:03:27.993 We think about a Madeleine moistened in lavender tea. 00:03:27.993 --> 00:03:29.772 We forget how harsh his vision was. 00:03:29.772 --> 00:03:31.612 We forget how pitiless he is. 00:03:31.612 --> 00:03:33.764 I mean, these are books that Virginia Woolf said 00:03:33.764 --> 00:03:36.100 were tough as cat gut. 00:03:36.100 --> 00:03:38.317 I don't know what cat gut is, 00:03:38.317 --> 00:03:41.880 but let's assume it's formidable. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:41.880 --> 00:03:44.016 Let's look at why they go so well together, 00:03:44.016 --> 00:03:48.391 the novel and jealousy, jealousy and Proust. 00:03:48.391 --> 00:03:51.161 Is it something as obvious that jealousy, 00:03:51.161 --> 00:03:54.498 which boils down into person, desire, impediment, 00:03:54.498 --> 00:03:59.396 is such a solid narrative foundation? 00:03:59.396 --> 00:04:02.210 I don't know. I think it cuts very close to the bone, 00:04:02.210 --> 00:04:04.029 because let's think about what happens 00:04:04.029 --> 00:04:05.898 when we feel jealous. 00:04:05.898 --> 00:04:09.850 When we feel jealous, we tell ourselves a story. 00:04:09.850 --> 00:04:14.133 We tell ourselves a story about other people's lives, 00:04:14.133 --> 00:04:16.561 and these stories make us feel terrible 00:04:16.561 --> 00:04:19.002 because they're designed to make us feel terrible. 00:04:19.002 --> 00:04:21.564 As the teller of the tale and the audience, 00:04:21.564 --> 00:04:23.538 we know just what details to include, 00:04:23.538 --> 00:04:27.107 to dig that knife in. Right? 00:04:27.107 --> 00:04:30.462 Jealousy makes us all amateur novelists, 00:04:30.462 --> 00:04:32.478 and this is something Proust understood. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:32.478 --> 00:04:35.651 In the first volume, "Swann's Way," 00:04:35.651 --> 00:04:37.475 the series of books, 00:04:37.475 --> 00:04:39.335 Swann, one of the main characters, 00:04:39.335 --> 00:04:42.194 is thinking very fondly of his mistress 00:04:42.194 --> 00:04:44.101 and how great she is in bed, 00:04:44.101 --> 00:04:47.143 and suddenly, in the course of a few sentences, 00:04:47.143 --> 00:04:49.184 and these are Proustian sentences, 00:04:49.184 --> 00:04:50.989 so they're long as rivers, 00:04:50.989 --> 00:04:52.959 but in the course of a few sentences, 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:55.120 he suddenly recoils and he realizes, 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:58.649 "Hang on, everything I love about this woman, 00:04:58.649 --> 00:05:02.620 somebody else would love about this woman. 00:05:02.620 --> 00:05:05.650 Everything that she does that gives me pleasure 00:05:05.650 --> 00:05:07.482 could be giving somebody else pleasure, 00:05:07.482 --> 00:05:09.498 maybe right about now." 00:05:09.498 --> 00:05:12.282 And this is the story he starts to tell himself, 00:05:12.282 --> 00:05:14.145 and from then on, Proust writes that 00:05:14.145 --> 00:05:16.962 every fresh charm Swann detects in his mistress, 00:05:16.962 --> 00:05:19.641 he adds to his collection of instruments 00:05:19.641 --> 00:05:22.109 in his private torture chamber. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:23.842 --> 00:05:25.753 Now Swann and Proust, we have to admit, 00:05:25.753 --> 00:05:27.537 were notoriously jealous. 00:05:27.537 --> 00:05:29.241 You know, Proust's boyfriends would have to leave 00:05:29.241 --> 00:05:31.737 the country if they wanted to break up with him. 00:05:31.737 --> 00:05:34.425 But you don't have to be that jealous 00:05:34.425 --> 00:05:37.551 to concede that it's hard work. Right? 00:05:37.551 --> 00:05:39.407 Jealous is exhausting. 00:05:39.407 --> 00:05:42.807 It's a hungry emotion. It must be fed. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:42.807 --> 00:05:44.896 And what does jealousy like? 00:05:44.896 --> 00:05:47.986 Jealously likes information. 00:05:47.986 --> 00:05:50.375 Jealously likes details. 00:05:50.375 --> 00:05:53.198 Jealously likes the vast quantities of shiny hair, 00:05:53.198 --> 00:05:55.664 the cute little pencil case. 00:05:55.664 --> 00:05:57.391 Jealously likes photos. 00:05:57.391 --> 00:05:59.383 That's why Instagram is such a hit. (Laughter) 00:05:59.383 --> 00:06:05.344 Proust actually links the language of scholarship and jealousy. 00:06:05.344 --> 00:06:07.232 When Swann is in, like, his jealous throes, 00:06:07.232 --> 00:06:09.341 and suddenly he's listening at doorways 00:06:09.341 --> 00:06:11.349 and bribing his mistress's servants, 00:06:11.349 --> 00:06:13.109 he defends these behaviors. 00:06:13.109 --> 00:06:15.402 He says, "You know, look, I know you think this is repugnant, 00:06:15.402 --> 00:06:17.208 but it is no different 00:06:17.208 --> 00:06:19.558 from interpreting an ancient text 00:06:19.558 --> 00:06:21.395 or looking at a monument." 00:06:21.395 --> 00:06:23.822 He says, "They are scientific investigations 00:06:23.822 --> 00:06:26.825 with real intellectual value." 00:06:26.825 --> 00:06:28.937 Proust is trying to show us that jealousy 00:06:28.937 --> 00:06:31.828 feels intolerable and makes us look absurd, 00:06:31.828 --> 00:06:36.498 but it is, at its crux, a quest for knowledge, 00:06:36.498 --> 00:06:39.899 a quest for truth, painful truth, 00:06:39.899 --> 00:06:41.828 and actually, where Proust is concerned, 00:06:41.828 --> 00:06:44.620 the more painful the truth, the better. 00:06:44.620 --> 00:06:49.357 Grief, humiliation, loss: 00:06:49.357 --> 00:06:52.313 these were the avenues to wisdom for Proust. 00:06:52.313 --> 00:06:55.754 He says, "A woman who we need 00:06:55.754 --> 00:06:58.786 who makes us suffer elicits from us 00:06:58.786 --> 00:07:02.506 a gamut of feelings far more profound and vital 00:07:02.506 --> 00:07:06.945 than a man of genius who interests us." 00:07:06.945 --> 00:07:09.620 Is he telling us to just go and find cruel women? 00:07:09.620 --> 00:07:11.902 No. I think he's trying to say 00:07:11.902 --> 00:07:15.286 that jealousy reveals us to ourselves. 00:07:15.286 --> 00:07:18.182 And does any other emotion crack us open 00:07:18.182 --> 00:07:20.510 in this particular way? 00:07:20.510 --> 00:07:22.590 Does any other emotion reveal to us 00:07:22.590 --> 00:07:25.923 our aggression and our hideous ambition 00:07:25.923 --> 00:07:28.322 and our entitlement? 00:07:28.322 --> 00:07:31.219 Does any other emotion teach us to look 00:07:31.219 --> 00:07:34.164 with such peculiar intensity? NOTE Paragraph 00:07:34.164 --> 00:07:36.316 Freud would write about this later. 00:07:36.316 --> 00:07:38.570 One day, Freud was visited 00:07:38.570 --> 00:07:40.892 by this very anxious young man who was consumed 00:07:40.892 --> 00:07:43.078 with the thought of his wife cheating on him. 00:07:43.078 --> 00:07:45.596 And Freud says, it's something strange about this guy, 00:07:45.596 --> 00:07:47.586 because he's not looking at what his wife is doing, 00:07:47.586 --> 00:07:49.465 because she's blameless, everybody knows it. 00:07:49.465 --> 00:07:50.949 The poor creature is just 00:07:50.949 --> 00:07:52.885 under suspicion for no cause. 00:07:52.885 --> 00:07:55.418 But he's looking for things that his wife is doing 00:07:55.418 --> 00:07:57.964 without noticing, unintentional behaviors. 00:07:57.964 --> 00:08:00.511 Is she smiling too brightly here, 00:08:00.511 --> 00:08:03.851 or did she accidentally brush up against a man there? 00:08:03.851 --> 00:08:06.527 Proust says that the man is becoming 00:08:06.527 --> 00:08:10.875 the custodian of his wife's unconscious. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:10.875 --> 00:08:12.696 The novel is very good on this point. 00:08:12.696 --> 00:08:15.504 The novel is very good at describing how jealousy 00:08:15.504 --> 00:08:19.488 trains us to look with intensity but not accuracy. 00:08:19.488 --> 00:08:23.563 In fact, the more intensely jealous we are, 00:08:23.563 --> 00:08:26.082 the more we become residents of fantasy. 00:08:26.082 --> 00:08:28.849 And this is why, I think, jealousy doesn't 00:08:28.849 --> 00:08:31.818 just provoke us to do violent things 00:08:31.818 --> 00:08:33.818 or illegal things. 00:08:33.818 --> 00:08:36.010 Jealous prompts us to behave in ways 00:08:36.010 --> 00:08:38.072 that are wildly inventive. 00:08:38.072 --> 00:08:40.901 Now I'm thinking of myself at eight, I concede, 00:08:40.901 --> 00:08:44.628 but I'm also thinking of this story I heard on the news. 00:08:44.628 --> 00:08:48.828 A 52-year old Michigan woman was caught 00:08:48.828 --> 00:08:51.697 creating a face Facebook account 00:08:51.697 --> 00:08:55.420 from which she sent vile, hideous messages 00:08:55.420 --> 00:08:59.645 to herself for a year. 00:08:59.645 --> 00:09:01.770 For a year. A year. 00:09:01.770 --> 00:09:03.645 And she was trying to frame 00:09:03.645 --> 00:09:05.649 her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend, 00:09:05.649 --> 00:09:09.443 and I have to confess when I heard this, 00:09:09.443 --> 00:09:11.355 I just reacted with admiration. 00:09:11.355 --> 00:09:12.932 (Laughter) 00:09:12.932 --> 00:09:15.347 Because, I mean, let's be real, like, 00:09:15.347 --> 00:09:19.357 what immense, if misplaced creativity. Right? 00:09:19.357 --> 00:09:22.009 This is something from a novel. 00:09:22.009 --> 00:09:25.485 This is something from a Patricia Highsmith novel. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:25.485 --> 00:09:27.655 Now Highsmith is a particular favorite of mine. 00:09:27.655 --> 00:09:30.324 She is the very brilliant and bizarre 00:09:30.324 --> 00:09:31.956 woman of American letters. 00:09:31.956 --> 00:09:33.900 She's the author of "Strangers On A Train" 00:09:33.900 --> 00:09:35.948 and "The Talented Mr. Ripley," 00:09:35.948 --> 00:09:39.013 books that are all about how jealousy, 00:09:39.013 --> 00:09:40.888 it muddles our minds, 00:09:40.888 --> 00:09:43.882 and once we're in the sphere, in that realm of jealousy, 00:09:43.882 --> 00:09:49.145 the membrane between what is and what could be 00:09:49.145 --> 00:09:52.038 can be pierced in an instant. 00:09:52.038 --> 00:09:54.210 Take Tom Ripley, her most famous character. 00:09:54.210 --> 00:09:57.172 Now, Tom Ripley goes from wanting you 00:09:57.172 --> 00:09:59.501 or wanting what you have 00:09:59.501 --> 00:10:03.191 to being you and having what you once had, 00:10:03.191 --> 00:10:04.355 and you're under the floorboards, 00:10:04.355 --> 00:10:05.995 he's answering to your name, 00:10:05.995 --> 00:10:07.717 he's, you know, wearing your rings, 00:10:07.717 --> 00:10:09.518 emptying your bank account. 00:10:09.518 --> 00:10:11.493 That's one way to go. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:11.493 --> 00:10:15.034 But what do we do? We can't go the Tom Ripley rout. 00:10:15.034 --> 00:10:16.948 I can't give the world D's, 00:10:16.948 --> 00:10:20.041 as much as I would really like to some days. 00:10:20.041 --> 00:10:23.539 And it's a pity, because we live in envious times. 00:10:23.539 --> 00:10:26.446 We live in jealous times. 00:10:26.446 --> 00:10:28.321 I mean, we're all good citizens of social media, 00:10:28.321 --> 00:10:32.167 aren't we, where the currency is envy. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:32.167 --> 00:10:36.312 Does the novel show us a way out? I'm not sure. 00:10:36.312 --> 00:10:39.753 So let's do what characters always do when they're not sure, 00:10:39.753 --> 00:10:41.929 when they are in possession of a mystery. 00:10:41.929 --> 00:10:44.203 Let's go to 221B Baker Street 00:10:44.203 --> 00:10:45.929 and ask for Sherlock Holmes. 00:10:45.929 --> 00:10:47.532 (Laughter) 00:10:47.532 --> 00:10:48.937 When people think of Holmes, 00:10:48.937 --> 00:10:51.799 they think of his nemesis being Professor Moriarty, 00:10:51.799 --> 00:10:53.853 right, this criminal mastermind. 00:10:53.853 --> 00:10:56.469 But I've always preferred Inspector Lestrade, 00:10:56.469 --> 00:10:59.113 who is the rat-faced head of Scotland Yard 00:10:59.113 --> 00:11:01.104 who needs Holmes desperately, 00:11:01.104 --> 00:11:03.408 needs Holmes's genius, but resents him. 00:11:03.408 --> 00:11:05.265 Oh, it's so familiar to me. 00:11:05.265 --> 00:11:09.282 So Lestrade needs his help, resents him, 00:11:09.282 --> 00:11:12.593 and sort of seethes with bitterness over the course of the mysteries. 00:11:12.593 --> 00:11:16.470 But as they work together, something starts to change, 00:11:16.470 --> 00:11:19.513 and finally in "The Adventure of the Six Napoleons," 00:11:19.513 --> 00:11:23.443 once Holmes comes in, dazzles everybody with his solution, 00:11:23.443 --> 00:11:26.884 Lestrade turns to Holmes and he says, 00:11:26.884 --> 00:11:31.165 "We're not jealous of you, Mr. Holmes. 00:11:31.165 --> 00:11:34.524 We're proud of you." 00:11:34.524 --> 00:11:36.853 And he says that there's not a man at Scotland Yard 00:11:36.853 --> 00:11:39.852 who wouldn't want to shake Sherlock Holmes's hand. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:39.852 --> 00:11:41.976 It's one of the few times we see Holmes moved 00:11:41.976 --> 00:11:44.332 in the mysteries, and I find it very moving, 00:11:44.332 --> 00:11:47.396 this little scene, but it's also mysterious, right? 00:11:47.396 --> 00:11:49.309 It seems to treat jealousy 00:11:49.309 --> 00:11:51.801 as a problem of geometry, not emotion. 00:11:51.801 --> 00:11:54.837 You know, one minute Holmes is on the other side from Lestrade. 00:11:54.837 --> 00:11:56.652 The next minute they're on the same side. 00:11:56.652 --> 00:11:58.983 Suddenly, Lestrade is letting himself 00:11:58.983 --> 00:12:02.120 admire this mind that he's resented. 00:12:02.120 --> 00:12:03.879 Could it be so simple though? 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:06.310 What if jealousy really is a matter of geometry, 00:12:06.310 --> 00:12:10.019 just a matter of where we allow ourselves to stand 00:12:10.019 --> 00:12:12.350 in relation to another? 00:12:12.350 --> 00:12:14.221 Well, maybe then we wouldn't have to resent 00:12:14.221 --> 00:12:16.282 somebody's excellence. 00:12:16.282 --> 00:12:19.656 We could align ourselves with it. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:19.656 --> 00:12:21.912 But I like contingency plans. 00:12:21.912 --> 00:12:24.248 So while we wait for that to happen, 00:12:24.248 --> 00:12:26.944 let us remember that we have fiction for consolation. 00:12:26.944 --> 00:12:29.272 Fiction alone demystifies jealousy. 00:12:29.272 --> 00:12:31.478 Fiction alone domesticates it, 00:12:31.478 --> 00:12:33.356 invites it to the table. 00:12:33.356 --> 00:12:35.229 And look who it gathers: 00:12:35.229 --> 00:12:39.065 sweet Lestrade, terrifying Tom Ripley, 00:12:39.065 --> 00:12:43.534 crazy Swann, Marcel Proust himself. 00:12:43.534 --> 00:12:45.948 We are in excellent company. 00:12:45.948 --> 00:12:48.184 Thank you. 00:12:48.184 --> 00:12:52.184 (Applause)