WEBVTT 00:00:07.515 --> 00:00:10.631 Wow! Hi! Howdy! 00:00:11.547 --> 00:00:14.855 When I was a kid, back in the '90s, 00:00:15.291 --> 00:00:19.794 my mom told me that you shouldn't wear white thighs, 00:00:19.818 --> 00:00:22.182 because they make your legs look fat. 00:00:23.431 --> 00:00:26.140 So for my first burlesque show, 00:00:26.164 --> 00:00:28.651 I wore white thighs. 00:00:28.675 --> 00:00:29.682 (Laughter) 00:00:29.706 --> 00:00:33.490 My mom's reaction was, "It wasn't that bad after all." 00:00:33.514 --> 00:00:35.066 (Laughter) 00:00:35.830 --> 00:00:39.182 I undress on the stage, I strip for money, 00:00:39.206 --> 00:00:41.144 I undress in front of strangers. 00:00:41.501 --> 00:00:42.727 Not today. 00:00:43.089 --> 00:00:44.696 (Laughter) 00:00:44.720 --> 00:00:46.508 Today, the naked lady speaks. 00:00:46.532 --> 00:00:47.893 (Laughter) 00:00:47.917 --> 00:00:53.407 I undress because every body is stage-worthy, 00:00:53.835 --> 00:00:55.515 and every body is beautiful. 00:00:56.071 --> 00:01:00.349 Have you heard the phrase "body positive"? Do you know it? 00:01:00.373 --> 00:01:02.972 We translate it literally from the English expression. 00:01:03.595 --> 00:01:05.455 No? OK. 00:01:06.096 --> 00:01:09.132 The first thing that "body positivity" makes you think of 00:01:09.156 --> 00:01:13.444 is probably fat girls. 00:01:13.802 --> 00:01:20.098 That is, people who identify themselves as women who are fat. 00:01:21.277 --> 00:01:24.477 I believe that body positivity is a much broader idea, 00:01:24.501 --> 00:01:27.806 and I'm going to break it down for you. 00:01:27.830 --> 00:01:30.130 I want to show you 00:01:30.154 --> 00:01:33.163 why it's worth thinking differently about body positivity. 00:01:33.681 --> 00:01:36.358 First, body positivity is about any type of body. 00:01:36.382 --> 00:01:39.192 It's not that someone is not body-positive enough, 00:01:39.216 --> 00:01:45.091 or too fat to use the hashtag "#bodypositive." 00:01:45.396 --> 00:01:50.098 Body positivity is about people who are tall, short, 00:01:50.122 --> 00:01:54.982 people with acne, skin lesions, scars, angiomas, 00:01:55.006 --> 00:01:57.384 cherry angiomas on their chests, 00:01:57.408 --> 00:02:01.964 stretch marks because they grew up too fast 00:02:02.353 --> 00:02:04.938 or because they have gained weight; 00:02:05.567 --> 00:02:08.830 people who are fat or skinny, 00:02:08.854 --> 00:02:13.765 of any gender and any skin tone. 00:02:14.407 --> 00:02:17.301 Body positivity is about them all. 00:02:19.623 --> 00:02:21.570 The word "positive." 00:02:21.594 --> 00:02:26.303 Those fat girls are probably very happy and optimistic. 00:02:26.653 --> 00:02:27.927 Well, no. 00:02:27.951 --> 00:02:31.465 I think that "positive" is really not the best term for it, 00:02:31.489 --> 00:02:34.647 because it forces us to be so happy, 00:02:34.671 --> 00:02:38.059 and implies that only being happy will make us feel good in our bodies. 00:02:38.083 --> 00:02:39.911 It's not really like that. 00:02:41.048 --> 00:02:47.241 I strongly believe body positivity and the word "positive" 00:02:47.265 --> 00:02:48.818 can be understood differently. 00:02:49.505 --> 00:02:52.939 "Positive," for example, can refer to a test result. 00:02:52.963 --> 00:02:58.775 An HIV test, a pregnancy test or a driving exam. 00:02:59.290 --> 00:03:03.364 In those three cases, what would a positive result mean? 00:03:03.388 --> 00:03:09.654 It means that there is a virus, there is a pregnancy, 00:03:10.138 --> 00:03:15.606 and that there are some abilities that are required to drive a car. 00:03:15.630 --> 00:03:16.856 (Laughter) 00:03:16.880 --> 00:03:19.904 So presence seems to be the most important. 00:03:19.928 --> 00:03:21.998 Presence as awareness, 00:03:22.022 --> 00:03:24.697 as the importance of the body. 00:03:25.419 --> 00:03:28.642 "Body-present" is my favourite neologism. 00:03:28.666 --> 00:03:31.303 A body-present person can feel their body. 00:03:31.327 --> 00:03:34.099 They know that their body is important and necessary. 00:03:34.123 --> 00:03:37.582 I wouldn't be standing here without my body, right? 00:03:39.011 --> 00:03:42.240 I owe a lot to my body, and you do too. 00:03:42.264 --> 00:03:49.208 But these days, all of us take more from our body 00:03:49.232 --> 00:03:51.354 than we actually give back. 00:03:51.944 --> 00:03:56.115 Because the mind is important, education is important. 00:03:56.139 --> 00:03:58.505 I like to be vain, I like to be beautiful. 00:03:58.529 --> 00:04:02.768 I think that everyone likes to be beautiful, all of us. 00:04:03.220 --> 00:04:06.939 Understanding this reciprocity, 00:04:06.963 --> 00:04:10.003 how to make our mind take care of our body, 00:04:10.469 --> 00:04:15.760 how to stop this hegemony of the mind over the body, 00:04:15.784 --> 00:04:19.957 may be a way of winking at our body 00:04:19.981 --> 00:04:24.252 and making it feel good, doing something nice for it. 00:04:25.361 --> 00:04:28.852 I am standing here thanks to my body. 00:04:28.876 --> 00:04:33.334 I am standing here, upright, and I am speaking, thanks to my body. 00:04:33.358 --> 00:04:35.803 I can hear you, thanks to my body. 00:04:35.827 --> 00:04:38.192 I can look at you, thanks to my body. 00:04:38.613 --> 00:04:41.960 So why shouldn't I thank my body, by listening to it, for example? 00:04:41.984 --> 00:04:45.838 By acknowledging I've wanted to pee since session three started? 00:04:45.862 --> 00:04:48.256 Cool. If you guys want to go pee now, feel free. 00:04:48.637 --> 00:04:54.025 I will be standing here and talking for 10 minutes, so you'll make it. 00:04:55.541 --> 00:04:58.925 Or maybe you want to eat that candy bar at the bottom of the goodie bag, 00:04:58.949 --> 00:05:03.376 tucked away for a rainy day, but wait, no, we're on a diet. 00:05:03.400 --> 00:05:05.840 So your mind says no. 00:05:06.977 --> 00:05:10.245 Or maybe you would like to undo your bra 00:05:10.753 --> 00:05:12.836 because it's so hot and uncomfortable, 00:05:12.860 --> 00:05:15.429 or you would like to take off these unwearable shoes, 00:05:15.453 --> 00:05:18.459 and sit with your legs out to the side, the way you like to. 00:05:18.483 --> 00:05:19.633 Do it now. 00:05:19.657 --> 00:05:21.562 Do a little experiment with your body. 00:05:21.586 --> 00:05:23.512 I want to see a little commotion. 00:05:23.536 --> 00:05:26.121 Oh! Something's happening! 00:05:26.145 --> 00:05:28.701 You are doing something only for your body, 00:05:28.725 --> 00:05:32.253 you are thinking about it, telling it, "Hey, you're awesome." 00:05:33.223 --> 00:05:34.785 Let's take it a step further. 00:05:35.272 --> 00:05:36.670 I want you to do something, 00:05:36.694 --> 00:05:39.473 though it's summer, so you may already have your arms bare. 00:05:39.497 --> 00:05:41.592 I want you to uncover this place, 00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:46.790 and while looking at me, give it a little stroke. 00:05:47.364 --> 00:05:49.446 So nice! 00:05:49.960 --> 00:05:51.110 You too, sir. 00:05:51.134 --> 00:05:52.644 (Laughter) 00:05:54.041 --> 00:05:55.490 There is something about it. 00:05:55.514 --> 00:06:00.039 If you experience this little shudder on your back, then it's nice. 00:06:00.063 --> 00:06:01.831 I said that you should look at me. 00:06:01.855 --> 00:06:04.930 But you can keep doing this throughout this session, if you like. 00:06:04.954 --> 00:06:06.978 You can switch arms. 00:06:07.569 --> 00:06:14.065 I said that this exercise will give your body a stroke, 00:06:14.089 --> 00:06:17.552 will give it some advance care. 00:06:17.576 --> 00:06:19.790 It's like saying "thank you." 00:06:21.520 --> 00:06:23.386 At one of my workshops, 00:06:23.410 --> 00:06:27.806 I met someone who told me she didn't like her hands, 00:06:27.830 --> 00:06:33.743 because they were rough, chapped, red, not very nice. 00:06:33.767 --> 00:06:36.086 They spent a lot of time tucked into her pockets. 00:06:38.331 --> 00:06:42.506 It's obvious that she didn't like to do anything for them, 00:06:42.530 --> 00:06:44.196 because she didn't like them. 00:06:44.220 --> 00:06:46.284 If I don't like someone, 00:06:46.308 --> 00:06:48.544 they're not getting a birthday gift from me. 00:06:48.568 --> 00:06:49.734 Right? 00:06:49.758 --> 00:06:52.583 I won't make them soup when they're sick. 00:06:52.607 --> 00:06:54.948 But if I have two hands, 00:06:54.972 --> 00:06:57.620 and they are the only hands that I've got in this life, 00:06:57.644 --> 00:06:59.903 then maybe it's worth taking care of them. 00:06:59.927 --> 00:07:04.139 Maybe it's worth making body positivity 00:07:04.163 --> 00:07:10.594 not only passive thinking about your body, 00:07:10.618 --> 00:07:12.561 but turning it into action. 00:07:13.212 --> 00:07:16.160 Maybe the action of using some hand cream. 00:07:16.184 --> 00:07:17.590 Let this be the first gesture 00:07:17.614 --> 00:07:20.091 that you'll do for the body part that you don't like. 00:07:20.115 --> 00:07:22.146 Let this be using a cream, 00:07:22.170 --> 00:07:23.604 or instead of taking a shower, 00:07:23.628 --> 00:07:25.865 treating yourself to a nice, fragrant bath. 00:07:25.889 --> 00:07:28.183 In this kind of weather, 00:07:28.207 --> 00:07:32.388 a cold bath may be the better option. 00:07:32.925 --> 00:07:34.543 OK then. 00:07:34.567 --> 00:07:41.566 During my workshops, I ask people: 00:07:42.370 --> 00:07:46.502 "If the way you relate to your body 00:07:46.526 --> 00:07:49.779 was a type of family relationship, 00:07:50.089 --> 00:07:53.519 what would it be?" 00:07:55.070 --> 00:07:59.258 People think for a while, and answer. 00:07:59.996 --> 00:08:04.894 Separated twins, 00:08:06.807 --> 00:08:11.927 a divorced couple with a mortgage, 00:08:14.946 --> 00:08:19.159 distant cousins who have never met. 00:08:23.004 --> 00:08:25.568 I believe that what I do, 00:08:25.929 --> 00:08:29.524 and what I want to introduce you to - I'm not saying what it is, yet - 00:08:30.610 --> 00:08:34.936 can lead to preventive measures 00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:41.912 for various things like eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorders, 00:08:41.936 --> 00:08:45.148 depressive disorders, which have become a plague now. 00:08:45.172 --> 00:08:46.633 I know it's a cliché. 00:08:46.657 --> 00:08:50.172 But what if a little prevention can go a long way towards changing things, 00:08:50.196 --> 00:08:53.512 even a little thing like stroking your arm. 00:08:53.536 --> 00:08:57.844 Something about your mood or how you feel about your body. 00:08:59.547 --> 00:09:02.071 I want to give you one more neologism. 00:09:02.465 --> 00:09:06.611 "Diverse-body-presence" sounds a little awkward - 00:09:06.635 --> 00:09:09.627 your spellchecker would underline it for sure. 00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:15.845 I understand diverse-body-presence as a presence of diverse bodies 00:09:15.869 --> 00:09:20.304 in the public space, media, and what we see every day. 00:09:21.209 --> 00:09:24.894 That is, the presence of bodies that do or do not have hair, 00:09:24.918 --> 00:09:27.980 that are of different shapes, colors, genders. 00:09:28.004 --> 00:09:29.897 What do all of those bodies need? 00:09:29.921 --> 00:09:31.337 Representation. 00:09:31.913 --> 00:09:34.649 But let's get back to reality. 00:09:34.673 --> 00:09:35.980 When you get out of here, 00:09:36.004 --> 00:09:40.623 on billboards, you'll probably see completely different bodies than yours. 00:09:40.647 --> 00:09:42.627 We are different than those bodies. 00:09:42.651 --> 00:09:44.788 Like, "something is off." 00:09:44.812 --> 00:09:48.596 Does it mean that our bodies are not good enough 00:09:48.620 --> 00:09:52.645 to be on billboards and covers? 00:09:52.669 --> 00:09:55.855 They're telling us that. 00:09:55.879 --> 00:09:59.166 A little voice whispers that to us somewhere in the back of our heads. 00:09:59.190 --> 00:10:02.102 I want you to look around this room once again, 00:10:02.126 --> 00:10:07.291 and just brazenly stare at everyone. 00:10:07.315 --> 00:10:10.456 See who has acne, 00:10:12.202 --> 00:10:16.567 who is fat, who is bald. 00:10:17.360 --> 00:10:21.517 Those words are not pejorative, they're just words, like "green." 00:10:24.911 --> 00:10:27.174 I bet you've spotted a few. 00:10:27.198 --> 00:10:31.579 It's hard to get a statistical read of this tiny, 500-people room, 00:10:32.719 --> 00:10:34.943 but still, you have a feeling about it, 00:10:34.967 --> 00:10:38.012 about this percentage that I want to tell you about. 00:10:39.726 --> 00:10:45.018 When we turn on the TV, 00:10:45.042 --> 00:10:50.164 we'll only see one fat TV personality. 00:10:51.035 --> 00:10:53.331 It's cool that you are there, Dorota, 00:10:53.355 --> 00:10:55.550 it's really great. 00:10:55.574 --> 00:10:57.743 But she's the only one out there. 00:10:57.767 --> 00:11:02.943 Based on that sample, statistics would say there are no fat people in Poland, 00:11:02.967 --> 00:11:07.946 or that there is one millionth of a fat person. 00:11:07.970 --> 00:11:09.582 Do you get what I mean? 00:11:09.606 --> 00:11:12.081 We have one singer who had acne 00:11:12.105 --> 00:11:14.650 and was not ashamed of it and showed it on stage. 00:11:14.674 --> 00:11:18.669 It's cool that you are there, Dawid, but it's not enough. 00:11:18.693 --> 00:11:20.065 It's so little. 00:11:20.089 --> 00:11:23.645 When you looked around, you probably saw more fat people, 00:11:23.669 --> 00:11:26.290 and people with acne, as an example. 00:11:26.314 --> 00:11:27.648 There is something about it. 00:11:27.672 --> 00:11:31.344 How it is possible that there is this disproportion, 00:11:31.368 --> 00:11:33.709 and we are so underrepresented? 00:11:34.803 --> 00:11:40.839 Did you know that one of the Polish news shows 00:11:40.863 --> 00:11:44.806 has an anchor who uses a wheelchair? 00:11:45.947 --> 00:11:49.947 Only on the air, he uses a regular chair. 00:11:50.396 --> 00:11:55.541 What would have changed if he used his wheelchair, 00:11:56.225 --> 00:11:59.182 in a way that would make it visible? 00:11:59.206 --> 00:12:03.966 Perhaps that would make other people who use wheelchairs go, 00:12:03.990 --> 00:12:09.127 "I can do such things too!" 00:12:09.906 --> 00:12:13.460 It's not about hearing this stated explicitly. 00:12:13.484 --> 00:12:16.075 These things work their way into our minds slowly. 00:12:16.099 --> 00:12:17.744 Just like the idea we somehow have 00:12:17.768 --> 00:12:22.234 that there are no fat actresses in starring roles. 00:12:22.258 --> 00:12:25.929 There are more and more, but still not that many. 00:12:27.656 --> 00:12:31.695 Our world doesn't look like we have representation, 00:12:31.719 --> 00:12:34.181 or that we see people like us, 00:12:34.205 --> 00:12:38.267 or that we believe that we can be a star even with our acne. 00:12:39.059 --> 00:12:43.586 Or that we can be whoever we want even if we're fat. 00:12:43.610 --> 00:12:45.372 Not everyone likes the stage. 00:12:45.396 --> 00:12:47.841 I personally love it, not sure if you can tell. 00:12:47.865 --> 00:12:48.991 (Laughter) 00:12:49.015 --> 00:12:50.677 But not everyone wants it. 00:12:50.701 --> 00:12:54.477 I'm sure everybody has an idea about a different path they could take. 00:12:54.501 --> 00:12:55.747 And that is OK. 00:12:55.771 --> 00:12:59.700 But I can only internally allow myself to really believe it 00:12:59.724 --> 00:13:03.231 if I can see people like me do it too. 00:13:04.421 --> 00:13:06.098 Or you can be very brave 00:13:06.122 --> 00:13:08.772 and become the first person in Poland to do something. 00:13:09.804 --> 00:13:12.308 But if nobody looks like me, 00:13:12.332 --> 00:13:15.937 I won't probably do it, or I will creep to it very slowly. 00:13:15.961 --> 00:13:18.160 What would I feel? 00:13:18.184 --> 00:13:22.649 That I'm not good enough, important enough, attractive enough. 00:13:22.673 --> 00:13:24.124 I could leave you here, 00:13:24.148 --> 00:13:26.523 in this world without representation, 00:13:26.547 --> 00:13:28.715 which is pretty sad, 00:13:28.739 --> 00:13:33.498 and not so diverse-body-positive, and not so diverse-body-present. 00:13:35.573 --> 00:13:38.543 But I have good news. 00:13:38.567 --> 00:13:39.843 I have a massage for you: 00:13:39.867 --> 00:13:41.987 that there is a place, 00:13:42.011 --> 00:13:43.544 a place that I come from 00:13:43.568 --> 00:13:45.962 a place thanks to which I am standing right here, 00:13:45.986 --> 00:13:49.986 where there is body-presence and diverse-body-presence. 00:13:50.704 --> 00:13:54.205 Where you'll see it everywhere. 00:13:54.229 --> 00:13:56.729 That place is not that mainstream. 00:13:56.753 --> 00:13:58.336 Sometimes it's hard to get there, 00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:00.230 but by speaking to you now, 00:14:00.254 --> 00:14:02.404 I hope that more people will learn about it 00:14:02.428 --> 00:14:05.396 and about that space in our minds. 00:14:06.862 --> 00:14:09.100 I'm talking about the burlesque stage. 00:14:10.262 --> 00:14:12.541 The reason there's glitter on me 00:14:12.565 --> 00:14:15.802 and that this is the dress I'm wearing 00:14:15.826 --> 00:14:18.482 is simply because I came here straight from that stage. 00:14:18.506 --> 00:14:22.992 I come to you from the place that I'm going to invite you to, 00:14:23.016 --> 00:14:24.390 from three different sides. 00:14:24.414 --> 00:14:28.962 Let's start with something easy for you to imagine. 00:14:28.986 --> 00:14:32.710 You're in the audience and onto the stage comes a person 00:14:32.734 --> 00:14:35.629 who performs in front of you, an artist. 00:14:35.653 --> 00:14:38.975 This person strips off their clothes and reveals their body. 00:14:38.999 --> 00:14:40.592 And you instantly realize 00:14:40.616 --> 00:14:44.144 that this person has the same C-section scar you do. 00:14:45.284 --> 00:14:47.874 Or they have cellulite, just like you. 00:14:48.933 --> 00:14:51.478 Or they're short, just like you. 00:14:51.502 --> 00:14:52.819 And you thought 00:14:52.843 --> 00:14:56.258 that those attributes excluded you from being attractive. 00:14:56.282 --> 00:14:57.833 That's a shock. 00:14:57.857 --> 00:15:00.917 That person on the stage, like me here, 00:15:01.849 --> 00:15:03.563 has the same body, 00:15:04.190 --> 00:15:06.567 and you feel represented on this stage. 00:15:06.591 --> 00:15:09.166 You feel that you can do sexy and attractive things. 00:15:09.190 --> 00:15:12.095 You don't have to jump onto the stage of course, but you can. 00:15:12.119 --> 00:15:14.882 This stage is still small, so you can join. 00:15:15.920 --> 00:15:21.271 But this means that me or my partner, with whom I watch the show, 00:15:21.295 --> 00:15:25.993 will think, "Wow, I can be attractive too. 00:15:26.017 --> 00:15:28.656 My body is awesome, because it's being represented." 00:15:28.680 --> 00:15:31.381 Now, a different side. 00:15:31.405 --> 00:15:33.304 No, I'm not going to stand backwards. 00:15:33.328 --> 00:15:34.739 The other side 00:15:34.763 --> 00:15:39.815 is where you come onto the stage as a burlesque performer, 00:15:40.676 --> 00:15:43.142 and reveal your body in that same situation. 00:15:43.726 --> 00:15:47.978 You get something from the audience. Now, let's make some noise. 00:15:48.002 --> 00:15:49.383 Noise! Now! 00:15:49.407 --> 00:15:53.423 (Cheers) 00:15:53.891 --> 00:15:57.639 I get this when I come onto the stage and reveal my body. 00:15:57.663 --> 00:16:02.251 This is automatic positive reinforcement, 00:16:02.275 --> 00:16:03.633 this is Pavlov's dog. 00:16:03.657 --> 00:16:08.818 I get a reward for showing off my often non-normative body. 00:16:08.842 --> 00:16:10.976 Wow, right? 00:16:11.547 --> 00:16:12.928 Cool. 00:16:12.952 --> 00:16:16.139 Now for the third side - 00:16:16.163 --> 00:16:18.894 because like I said, not everyone wants to go on stage. 00:16:18.918 --> 00:16:22.094 You can go to burlesque workshops, 00:16:22.118 --> 00:16:26.665 where you'll learn a lot about body-presence and diverse-body-presence. 00:16:26.982 --> 00:16:29.610 You'll learn about body-mind communication, 00:16:30.181 --> 00:16:33.792 which these days, I find extremely important. 00:16:36.225 --> 00:16:41.685 After learning all of that, you'll notice everyone has wonky nipples, 00:16:41.709 --> 00:16:42.867 because they do. 00:16:42.891 --> 00:16:44.755 Or that everyone has a different butt, 00:16:44.779 --> 00:16:45.930 different legs, 00:16:45.954 --> 00:16:47.414 but everything is just right. 00:16:48.111 --> 00:16:50.839 Spread this idea around. 00:16:50.863 --> 00:16:54.818 This is a very good time for you to try burlesque 00:16:54.842 --> 00:16:56.315 in one of these three ways. 00:16:56.339 --> 00:16:58.498 To sum up, 00:16:58.522 --> 00:17:01.745 there's something I want to ask you: 00:17:01.769 --> 00:17:06.646 What kind of family relationship would your body-mind relationship be? 00:17:06.670 --> 00:17:09.973 You don't have to say it out loud, think about it a little. 00:17:10.862 --> 00:17:12.981 Who are they to each other? 00:17:15.029 --> 00:17:16.999 Who are these characters? 00:17:17.688 --> 00:17:19.237 Is it a good relationship? 00:17:19.261 --> 00:17:20.976 Maybe a little worse? 00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:22.311 Or maybe it's a great one? 00:17:23.152 --> 00:17:25.573 Maybe it was great way back when, and now it's not? 00:17:25.597 --> 00:17:27.223 It's going to change over time. 00:17:27.247 --> 00:17:31.365 My body-mind relationship is not perfect, 00:17:31.389 --> 00:17:34.620 it has been changing a lot. 00:17:36.588 --> 00:17:38.627 Your relationship can change too, 00:17:38.651 --> 00:17:41.674 because any relationship can use some work. 00:17:41.698 --> 00:17:44.266 Every relationship, so on this one too. 00:17:45.798 --> 00:17:49.685 My relationship is not perfect, because I'm a beautiful imperfection. 00:17:52.042 --> 00:17:55.102 You are all beautiful imperfections, 00:17:55.126 --> 00:17:57.888 each and every single one of you. 00:17:57.912 --> 00:17:59.063 Thank you. 00:17:59.087 --> 00:18:04.484 (Applause)