0:00:00.762,0:00:02.786
Hello, TED Women, what's up.

0:00:02.786,0:00:04.075
(Cheers)

0:00:04.075,0:00:05.363
Not good enough.

0:00:05.363,0:00:07.633
Hello, TED Women, what is up?

0:00:07.633,0:00:09.849
(Cheers)

0:00:09.849,0:00:11.998
My name is Maysoon Zayid,

0:00:11.998,0:00:14.002
and I am not drunk,

0:00:14.002,0:00:16.619
but the doctor who delivered me was.

0:00:16.619,0:00:20.507
He cut my mom six different times

0:00:20.507,0:00:23.317
in six different directions,

0:00:23.317,0:00:25.733
suffocating poor little me in the process.

0:00:25.733,0:00:28.340
As a result, I have cerebral palsy,

0:00:28.340,0:00:31.206
which means I shake all the time.

0:00:31.206,0:00:34.053
Look.

0:00:34.053,0:00:37.460
It's exhausting. I'm like Shakira, Shakira

0:00:37.460,0:00:39.240
meets Muhammad Ali.

0:00:39.240,0:00:42.236
(Laughter)

0:00:42.236,0:00:44.231
C.P. is not genetic.

0:00:44.231,0:00:47.015
It's not a birth defect. You can't catch it.

0:00:47.015,0:00:50.435
No one put a curse on my mother's uterus,

0:00:50.435,0:00:53.671
and I didn't get it because[br]my parents are first cousins,

0:00:53.671,0:00:55.172
which they are.

0:00:55.172,0:00:59.241
(Laughter)

0:00:59.241,0:01:01.595
It only happens from accidents,

0:01:01.595,0:01:04.306
like what happened to me on my birthday.

0:01:04.306,0:01:09.434
Now, I must warn you, I'm not inspirational,

0:01:09.434,0:01:11.905
and I don't want anyone in this room

0:01:11.905,0:01:13.466
to feel bad for me,

0:01:13.466,0:01:15.495
because at some point in your life,

0:01:15.495,0:01:18.848
you have dreamt of being disabled.

0:01:18.848,0:01:20.747
Come on a journey with me.

0:01:20.747,0:01:23.964
It's Christmas Eve, you're at the mall,

0:01:23.964,0:01:27.389
you're driving around in circles looking for parking,

0:01:27.389,0:01:29.293
and what do you see?

0:01:29.293,0:01:34.665
Sixteen empty handicapped spaces.

0:01:34.665,0:01:36.291
And you're like, "God, can't I just be

0:01:36.291,0:01:38.007
a little disabled?"

0:01:38.007,0:01:43.201
(Laughter)

0:01:43.201,0:01:44.729
Also, I gotta tell you,

0:01:44.729,0:01:49.468
I got 99 problems, and palsy is just one.

0:01:49.468,0:01:52.352
If there was an oppression Olympics,

0:01:52.352,0:01:54.109
I would win the gold medal.

0:01:54.109,0:01:59.289
I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled,

0:01:59.289,0:02:01.507
and I live in New Jersey.

0:02:01.507,0:02:07.605
(Laughter) (Applause)

0:02:07.605,0:02:11.370
If you don't feel better about[br]yourself, maybe you should.

0:02:11.370,0:02:13.976
Cliffside Park, New Jersey, is my hometown.

0:02:13.976,0:02:16.573
I have always loved the fact

0:02:16.573,0:02:18.608
that my hood and my affliction

0:02:18.608,0:02:20.606
share the same initials.

0:02:20.606,0:02:22.928
I also love the fact that if I wanted to walk

0:02:22.928,0:02:25.465
from my house to New York City, I could.

0:02:25.465,0:02:28.340
A lot of people with C.P. don't walk,

0:02:28.340,0:02:31.462
but my parents didn't believe in "can't."

0:02:31.462,0:02:33.472
My father's mantra was,

0:02:33.472,0:02:36.762
"You can do it, yes you can can."

0:02:36.762,0:02:39.998
(Laughter)

0:02:39.998,0:02:43.021
So, if my three older sisters were mopping,

0:02:43.021,0:02:44.132
I was mopping.

0:02:44.132,0:02:46.891
If my three older sisters went to public school,

0:02:46.891,0:02:49.184
my parents would sue the school system

0:02:49.184,0:02:51.227
and guarantee that I went too,

0:02:51.227,0:02:53.221
and if we didn't all get As,

0:02:53.221,0:02:55.373
we all got my mother's slipper.

0:02:55.373,0:02:57.970
(Laughter)

0:02:57.970,0:03:00.954
My father taught me how I walk[br]when I was five years old

0:03:00.954,0:03:03.300
by placing my heels on his feet

0:03:03.300,0:03:05.126
and just walking.

0:03:05.126,0:03:07.818
Another tactic that he used is he would dangle

0:03:07.818,0:03:12.122
a dollar bill in front of me and have me chase it.

0:03:12.122,0:03:13.936
(Laughter)

0:03:13.936,0:03:16.821
My inner stripper was very strong, and by

0:03:16.821,0:03:18.434
—(Laughter)—

0:03:18.434,0:03:21.475
Yeah. No, by the first day of kindergarten,

0:03:21.475,0:03:22.988
I was walking like a champ

0:03:22.988,0:03:26.750
who had been punched one too many times.

0:03:26.750,0:03:30.251
Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town,

0:03:30.251,0:03:32.567
and they were all my family.

0:03:32.567,0:03:34.771
Now there are 20 Arabs in town,

0:03:34.771,0:03:37.581
and they are still all my family. (Laughter)

0:03:37.581,0:03:40.579
I don't think anyone even noticed we weren't Italian.

0:03:40.579,0:03:45.604
(Laughter) (Applause)

0:03:48.081,0:03:51.037
This was before 9/11 and before politicians

0:03:51.037,0:03:54.974
thought it was appropriate to use "I Hate Moslems"

0:03:54.974,0:03:56.995
as a campaign slogan.

0:03:56.995,0:04:00.125
The people that I grew up with[br]had no problem with my faith.

0:04:00.125,0:04:02.531
they did, however, seem very concerned

0:04:02.531,0:04:05.262
that I would starve to death during Ramadan.

0:04:05.262,0:04:07.397
I would explain to them that I have enough fat

0:04:07.397,0:04:09.449
to live off of for three whole months,

0:04:09.449,0:04:14.349
so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake.

0:04:14.349,0:04:17.152
I have tap-danced on Broadway.

0:04:17.152,0:04:20.607
Yeah, on Broadway. It's crazy. (Applause)

0:04:20.607,0:04:22.518
My parents couldn't afford physical therapy,

0:04:22.518,0:04:25.402
so they sent me to dancing school.

0:04:25.402,0:04:27.072
I learned how to dance in heels,

0:04:27.072,0:04:28.775
which means I can walk in heels,

0:04:28.775,0:04:30.175
and I'm from Jersey,

0:04:30.175,0:04:32.908
and we are really concerned with being chic,

0:04:32.908,0:04:36.511
so if my friends wore heels, so did I.

0:04:36.511,0:04:39.529
And when my friends went and[br]spent their summer vacations

0:04:39.529,0:04:42.341
on the Jersey Shore, I did not.

0:04:42.341,0:04:44.579
I spent my summers in a war zone,

0:04:44.579,0:04:46.650
because my parents were afraid

0:04:46.650,0:04:48.841
that if we didn't go back to Palestine

0:04:48.841,0:04:50.548
every single summer,

0:04:50.548,0:04:52.589
we'd grow up to be Madonna.

0:04:52.589,0:04:57.984
(Laughter)

0:04:57.984,0:05:01.093
Summer vacations often consisted of

0:05:01.093,0:05:02.879
my father trying to heal me,

0:05:02.879,0:05:04.870
so I drank deer's milk,

0:05:04.870,0:05:06.912
I had hot cups on my back,

0:05:06.912,0:05:08.897
I was dunked in the Dead Sea,

0:05:08.897,0:05:11.506
and I remember the water burning my eyes

0:05:11.506,0:05:14.297
and thinking, "It's working! It's working!"

0:05:14.297,0:05:17.296
(Laughter)

0:05:17.296,0:05:20.626
But one miracle cure we did find was yoga.

0:05:20.626,0:05:23.995
I have to tell you, it's very boring,

0:05:23.995,0:05:25.474
but before I did yoga,

0:05:25.474,0:05:28.459
I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up.

0:05:28.459,0:05:31.737
And now I can stand on my head.

0:05:31.737,0:05:36.502
My parents reinforced this notion

0:05:36.502,0:05:39.215
that I could do anything,

0:05:39.215,0:05:41.230
that no dream was impossible,

0:05:41.230,0:05:42.809
and my dream was to be

0:05:42.809,0:05:46.919
on the daytime soap opera "General Hospital."

0:05:46.919,0:05:49.317
I went to college during affirmative action

0:05:49.317,0:05:51.529
and got a sweet scholarship to ASU,

0:05:51.529,0:05:53.573
Arizona State University,

0:05:53.573,0:05:56.776
because I fit every single quota.

0:05:56.776,0:06:01.257
I was like the pet lemur of the theater department.

0:06:01.257,0:06:02.782
Everybody loved me.

0:06:02.782,0:06:06.066
I did all the less-than-intelligent kids' homework,

0:06:06.066,0:06:07.686
I got A's in all of my classes,

0:06:07.686,0:06:10.973
A's in all of their classes.

0:06:10.973,0:06:12.913
Every time I did a scene

0:06:12.913,0:06:14.271
from "The Glass Menagerie,"

0:06:14.271,0:06:16.689
my professors would weep.

0:06:16.689,0:06:19.127
But I never got cast.

0:06:19.127,0:06:20.807
Finally, my senior year,

0:06:20.807,0:06:22.677
ASU decided to do a show called

0:06:22.677,0:06:24.886
"They Dance Real Slow In Jackson."

0:06:24.886,0:06:27.679
It's a play about a girl with C.P.

0:06:27.679,0:06:29.745
I was a girl with C.P.

0:06:29.745,0:06:32.628
So I start shouting from the rooftops,

0:06:32.628,0:06:34.539
"I'm finally going to get a part!

0:06:34.555,0:06:36.279
I have cerebral palsy!

0:06:36.279,0:06:38.565
Free at last! Free at last!

0:06:38.565,0:06:41.509
Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!"

0:06:41.509,0:06:45.288
I didn't get the part. (Laughter)

0:06:45.288,0:06:47.796
Sherry Brown got the part.

0:06:47.796,0:06:50.345
I went racing to the head of the theater department

0:06:50.345,0:06:52.928
crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat,

0:06:52.928,0:06:54.169
to ask her why,

0:06:54.169,0:06:55.764
and she said it was because

0:06:55.764,0:06:58.524
they didn't think I could do the stunts.

0:06:58.524,0:07:01.483
I said, "Excuse me, if I can't do the stunts,

0:07:01.483,0:07:03.232
neither can the character."

0:07:03.232,0:07:08.180
(Laughter) (Applause)

0:07:10.976,0:07:16.004
This was a part that I was literally born to play

0:07:16.004,0:07:20.831
and they gave it, they gave it to a non-palsy actress.

0:07:20.831,0:07:23.252
College was imitating life.

0:07:23.252,0:07:25.402
Hollywood has a sordid history

0:07:25.402,0:07:27.385
of casting able-bodied actors

0:07:27.385,0:07:30.007
to play disabled onscreen.

0:07:30.007,0:07:32.558
Upon graduating, I moved back home,

0:07:32.558,0:07:34.679
and my first acting gig was

0:07:34.679,0:07:37.320
as an extra on a daytime soap opera.

0:07:37.320,0:07:39.140
My dream was coming true.

0:07:39.140,0:07:41.362
And I knew that I would be promoted

0:07:41.362,0:07:46.018
from "diner diner" to "wacky best friend" in no time.

0:07:46.018,0:07:48.764
But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture

0:07:48.764,0:07:51.474
that you could only recognize[br]from the back of my head,

0:07:51.474,0:07:53.188
and it became clear to me

0:07:53.188,0:07:55.107
that casting directors

0:07:55.107,0:07:59.089
didn't hire fluffy ethnic disabled actors.

0:07:59.089,0:08:01.333
They only hired perfect people.

0:08:01.333,0:08:03.810
But there were exceptions to the rule.

0:08:03.810,0:08:05.983
I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg,

0:08:05.983,0:08:07.919
Roseanne Barr, Ellen,

0:08:07.919,0:08:10.454
and all of these women had one thing in common:

0:08:10.454,0:08:11.716
they were comedians.

0:08:11.716,0:08:14.210
So I became a comic.

0:08:14.210,0:08:18.747
(Laughter) (Applause)

0:08:19.858,0:08:23.535
My first gig was driving famous comics

0:08:23.535,0:08:26.114
from New York City to shows in New Jersey,

0:08:26.114,0:08:28.487
and I'll never forget the face of the first comic

0:08:28.487,0:08:30.506
I ever drove when he realized

0:08:30.506,0:08:33.563
that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike

0:08:33.563,0:08:36.649
with a chick with C.P. driving.

0:08:36.649,0:08:39.354
I've performed in clubs all over America,

0:08:39.354,0:08:42.701
and I've also performed in Arabic in the Middle East,

0:08:42.701,0:08:46.358
uncensored and uncovered.

0:08:46.358,0:08:48.329
Some people say I'm the first

0:08:48.329,0:08:50.321
stand-up comic in the Arab World.

0:08:50.337,0:08:52.471
I never like to claim first,

0:08:52.471,0:08:54.787
but I do know that they never heard

0:08:54.787,0:08:58.539
that nasty little rumor that women aren't funny,

0:08:58.539,0:09:03.335
and they find us hysterical.

0:09:03.335,0:09:07.594
In 2003, my brother from another mother and father

0:09:07.594,0:09:09.752
Dean Obeidallah and I started

0:09:09.752,0:09:12.120
the New York Arab American Comedy Festival,

0:09:12.120,0:09:13.841
now in its 10th year.

0:09:13.841,0:09:17.479
Our goal was to change the negative image

0:09:17.479,0:09:19.563
of Arab-Americans in media,

0:09:19.563,0:09:22.032
while also reminding casting directors

0:09:22.032,0:09:25.130
that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous.

0:09:25.130,0:09:28.093
(Laughter)

0:09:28.093,0:09:33.803
Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easier

0:09:33.803,0:09:35.870
than conquering the challenge

0:09:35.870,0:09:38.747
against the stigma against disability.

0:09:38.747,0:09:41.047
My big break came in 2010.

0:09:41.047,0:09:42.735
I was invited to be a guest

0:09:42.735,0:09:44.110
on the cable news show

0:09:44.110,0:09:46.356
"Countdown With Keith Olbermann."

0:09:46.356,0:09:49.444
I walked in looking like I was going to the prom,

0:09:49.444,0:09:51.578
and they shuffle me into a studio

0:09:51.578,0:09:56.998
and seat me on a spinning rolling chair.

0:09:56.998,0:09:59.617
So I looked at the stage manager and I'm like,

0:09:59.617,0:10:02.336
"Excuse me, can I have another chair?"

0:10:02.336,0:10:03.958
And she looked at me and she went,

0:10:03.958,0:10:06.807
"Five, four, three, two..."

0:10:06.807,0:10:08.601
And we were live, right?

0:10:08.601,0:10:10.969
So I had to grip onto the anchor's desk

0:10:10.969,0:10:14.758
so I wouldn't roll of the screen during the segment,

0:10:14.758,0:10:17.617
and when the interview was over, I was livid.

0:10:17.617,0:10:19.599
I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it,

0:10:19.599,0:10:22.822
and I knew I would never get invited back.

0:10:22.822,0:10:25.996
But not only did Mr. Olbermann invite me back,

0:10:25.996,0:10:28.081
he made me a full-time contributor,

0:10:28.081,0:10:31.502
and he taped down my chair.

0:10:31.502,0:10:35.131
(Laughter) (Applause)

0:10:37.003,0:10:39.059
One fun fact I learned while on the air

0:10:39.059,0:10:40.720
with Keith Olbermann

0:10:40.720,0:10:45.365
was that humans on the internet are scumbags.

0:10:45.365,0:10:46.962
People say children are cruel,

0:10:46.962,0:10:50.290
but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult.

0:10:50.290,0:10:52.601
Suddenly, my disability on the World Wide Web

0:10:52.601,0:10:53.922
is fair game.

0:10:53.922,0:10:55.996
I would look at clips online

0:10:55.996,0:10:57.606
and see comments like,

0:10:57.606,0:11:00.197
"Yo, why's she tweakin?"

0:11:00.197,0:11:02.413
"Yo, is she retarded?"

0:11:02.413,0:11:05.782
And my favorite, "Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist.

0:11:05.782,0:11:07.456
What does she suffer from?

0:11:07.456,0:11:11.070
We should really pray for her."

0:11:11.070,0:11:12.899
One commenter even suggested

0:11:12.899,0:11:15.684
that I add my disability to my credits:

0:11:15.684,0:11:19.575
screenwriter, comedian, palsy.

0:11:21.131,0:11:23.917
Disability is as visual as race.

0:11:23.917,0:11:26.504
If a wheelchair user can't play Beyoncé,

0:11:26.504,0:11:29.543
then Beyoncé can't play a wheelchair user.

0:11:29.543,0:11:31.581
The disabled are the largest—

0:11:31.581,0:11:34.592
Yeah, clap for them, man. C'mon.

0:11:34.592,0:11:37.441
(Applause)

0:11:39.360,0:11:41.480
People with disabilities are the largest minority

0:11:41.480,0:11:44.757
in the world, and we are the most underrepresented

0:11:44.757,0:11:46.933
in entertainment.

0:11:46.933,0:11:49.152
The doctors said that I wouldn't walk,

0:11:49.152,0:11:51.941
but I am here in front of you.

0:11:51.941,0:11:54.128
However, if I grew up with social media,

0:11:54.128,0:11:56.099
I don't think I would be.

0:11:56.099,0:11:57.578
I hope that together

0:11:57.578,0:12:00.153
we can create more positive images

0:12:00.153,0:12:03.698
of disability in the media and in everyday life.

0:12:03.698,0:12:06.075
Perhaps if there were more positive images,

0:12:06.075,0:12:09.891
it would foster less hate on the internet.

0:12:09.891,0:12:11.285
Or maybe not.

0:12:11.285,0:12:13.298
Maybe it still takes a village

0:12:13.298,0:12:16.460
to teach our children well.

0:12:16.460,0:12:18.293
My crooked journey has taken me

0:12:18.293,0:12:20.493
to some very spectacular places.

0:12:20.493,0:12:23.467
I got to walk the red carpet

0:12:23.467,0:12:26.034
flanked by soap diva Susan Lucci

0:12:26.034,0:12:28.311
and the iconic Lorraine Arbus.

0:12:28.311,0:12:30.972
I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler

0:12:30.972,0:12:32.513
and work with my idol,

0:12:32.513,0:12:34.983
the amazing Dave Matthews.

0:12:34.983,0:12:36.901
I toured the world as a headliner

0:12:36.901,0:12:38.533
on Arabs Gone Wild.

0:12:38.533,0:12:41.406
I was a delegate

0:12:41.406,0:12:44.227
representing the great state of New Jersey

0:12:44.227,0:12:46.352
at the 2008 DNC.

0:12:46.352,0:12:48.989
And I founded Maysoon's Kids,

0:12:48.989,0:12:50.687
a charity that hopes

0:12:50.687,0:12:52.903
to give Palestinian refugee children

0:12:52.903,0:12:55.972
a sliver of the chance my parents gave me.

0:12:55.972,0:12:58.431
But the one moment that stands out the most

0:12:58.431,0:13:00.956
was when I got, before this moment

0:13:00.956,0:13:05.384
— (Laughter) (Applause) —

0:13:08.430,0:13:11.866
but the one moment that stands out the most

0:13:11.882,0:13:13.915
was when I got to perform

0:13:13.915,0:13:16.234
for the man who flies like a butterfly

0:13:16.234,0:13:17.603
and stings like a bee,

0:13:17.603,0:13:21.099
has Parkinson's and shakes just like me,

0:13:21.099,0:13:23.356
Muhammad Ali.

0:13:23.356,0:13:28.542
(Applause)

0:13:31.467,0:13:33.279
It was the only time

0:13:33.279,0:13:35.948
that my father ever saw me perform live,

0:13:35.948,0:13:39.212
and I dedicate this talk to his memory.

0:13:39.212,0:13:41.375
(Arabic)

0:13:41.375,0:13:44.226
My name is Maysoon Zayid,

0:13:44.226,0:13:47.243
and if I can can, you can can.

0:13:47.243,0:13:51.505
(Applause)