WEBVTT 00:00:07.674 --> 00:00:10.276 - Hello, hi, hi, hi. Welcome to "Bronx Beat." 00:00:10.377 --> 00:00:11.478 I'm Betty. - I'm Jodi. You know that. 00:00:11.578 --> 00:00:13.239 - Yes, hello, hello. 00:00:13.820 --> 00:00:16.216 - Okay, welcome to our Christmas episode. 00:00:16.315 --> 00:00:17.751 Cheers to Christmas. - Cheers to Christmas. 00:00:17.851 --> 00:00:18.918 Here you go, cheers, friend. 00:00:19.019 --> 00:00:19.919 Wait a minute. 00:00:20.020 --> 00:00:21.154 Did you put alcohol in this eggnog? 00:00:21.254 --> 00:00:22.655 - Of course, what do you think? 00:00:22.756 --> 00:00:24.057 - I'm not having any, you know, what 'cause I gotta drive. 00:00:24.157 --> 00:00:25.458 - We all gotta drive. What? Everyone's driving. 00:00:25.558 --> 00:00:27.227 Y'all gonna drive. Okay. - Relax. 00:00:27.327 --> 00:00:30.430 - So it's Christmas, but not that you would know it 00:00:30.530 --> 00:00:31.698 'cause every time you turn on your TV, 00:00:31.798 --> 00:00:33.366 what do you see? Bad news. - Bad news. 00:00:33.466 --> 00:00:34.834 Gloom and doom. I'm sick of it. 00:00:34.934 --> 00:00:36.870 So stupid. It's Christmas. Give me a break. 00:00:36.970 --> 00:00:38.038 - You know what I want for Christmas? 00:00:38.138 --> 00:00:39.172 - Huh? - No more bad news. 00:00:39.272 --> 00:00:40.840 - Thank you. Yeah, it's Christmas. 00:00:40.940 --> 00:00:42.142 You think you got Santa coming down the chimney? 00:00:42.242 --> 00:00:44.328 It's ISIS. 00:00:45.031 --> 00:00:46.679 - Aye-yi-yisis, okay? 00:00:46.780 --> 00:00:47.680 ISIS, enough. 00:00:47.781 --> 00:00:48.882 Take a day off. - Enough. 00:00:48.982 --> 00:00:49.883 - Take a nap. 00:00:49.983 --> 00:00:50.884 Go for a walk. - Yeah. 00:00:50.984 --> 00:00:52.018 - Do something nice. - Yeah. 00:00:52.118 --> 00:00:54.521 Go see a movie. - Yeah, go see "Star Wars." 00:00:54.621 --> 00:00:56.089 - Oh my, enough, no, enough with Star Wars. 00:00:56.189 --> 00:00:57.190 - Enough with Star Wars. 00:00:57.290 --> 00:00:58.191 - I don't want anymore Star Wars, okay? 00:00:58.291 --> 00:00:59.292 - May the force give me a break already. 00:00:59.392 --> 00:01:00.994 - Ugh. 00:01:01.094 --> 00:01:02.195 - I'm saturated. - Saturated. 00:01:02.295 --> 00:01:03.263 - Everywhere you look, it's Star Wars 00:01:03.363 --> 00:01:04.631 and yogurts and soups and buses 00:01:04.730 --> 00:01:06.399 and backpacks and candy bars and crackers and soups. 00:01:06.499 --> 00:01:08.068 - You know what? Not for me. 00:01:08.168 --> 00:01:09.936 Too many lasers and corridors and bleep bloops. 00:01:10.036 --> 00:01:11.671 It's exhausting. Grow up. 00:01:11.771 --> 00:01:14.074 - There's a giant talking dog in that movie. 00:01:14.174 --> 00:01:15.341 So dumb. 00:01:15.442 --> 00:01:17.444 - Yeah, that's right, they call it a Wookie. 00:01:17.544 --> 00:01:19.212 - A Wookie. 00:01:19.312 --> 00:01:20.613 And his name is Chewie. 00:01:20.713 --> 00:01:22.315 You know what, I'm throughie with Chewie. 00:01:22.415 --> 00:01:23.483 - Yeah. 00:01:23.583 --> 00:01:24.717 - 'Cause he's a Wookie. - A Wookie. 00:01:24.818 --> 00:01:25.985 - What the hell's a Wookie? 00:01:26.086 --> 00:01:27.654 - A dog-man that flies a plane. 00:01:27.754 --> 00:01:30.123 Pass! 00:01:30.223 --> 00:01:32.826 - You know how to say, "I'm sick of Star Wars," in Wookie? 00:01:32.926 --> 00:01:34.861 [gargling noises] 00:01:37.130 --> 00:01:38.865 - The only thing about space I'm more interested in 00:01:38.965 --> 00:01:41.034 is more counter space. - Thank you. 00:01:41.134 --> 00:01:42.068 - Because my dumb husband takes it up 00:01:42.168 --> 00:01:43.269 with all this NutriBullet. 00:01:43.369 --> 00:01:45.438 - Ugh, it's so dumb. - Makes his shakes. 00:01:45.538 --> 00:01:47.607 - Ugh, shakes are dumb. 00:01:47.707 --> 00:01:49.242 My dumb husband made meatballs 00:01:49.342 --> 00:01:50.577 with too much garlic in them the other night 00:01:50.677 --> 00:01:51.678 and we're laying in bed 00:01:51.778 --> 00:01:53.646 and he's farting in his sleep, 00:01:53.746 --> 00:01:55.215 and I'm blaming it on the dog. 00:01:55.315 --> 00:01:58.785 Dog looks at me and says, "Uh-uh. It's that guy." 00:01:58.885 --> 00:02:00.186 - Husbands are so dumb. 00:02:00.286 --> 00:02:02.822 - But I love him. 00:02:02.922 --> 00:02:05.892 Farts and all! 00:02:05.992 --> 00:02:07.794 He farts like a dog, 00:02:07.894 --> 00:02:11.030 but he makes love to me so tenderly. 00:02:11.131 --> 00:02:12.132 Gave me my four children! 00:02:12.232 --> 00:02:13.766 - All right, God, Jodi, really, relax. 00:02:13.867 --> 00:02:14.901 - I'm fine. I'm fine. 00:02:15.001 --> 00:02:16.402 Anyway, who cares? 00:02:16.503 --> 00:02:18.338 - All right. - All right. 00:02:18.438 --> 00:02:19.506 - Let's bring out the first guest. Who is it? 00:02:19.606 --> 00:02:20.607 - All right, well, no one was available 00:02:20.707 --> 00:02:21.741 'cause of the holidays 00:02:21.841 --> 00:02:23.476 so I got my cousin Karen from Philly. 00:02:23.576 --> 00:02:24.878 - Oh, right, cousin Karen. I like her. She's cute. 00:02:24.978 --> 00:02:26.212 - Yeah, she's cute, right? 00:02:26.312 --> 00:02:28.314 She's bringing some homemade Christmas ornaments. 00:02:28.414 --> 00:02:29.616 She's going to show it to us. 00:02:29.716 --> 00:02:31.017 She sells them on Etsy or whatever. 00:02:31.117 --> 00:02:32.051 - Great. 00:02:32.152 --> 00:02:33.153 Come on in. - Come on, Karen. 00:02:33.253 --> 00:02:34.621 Hurry up now. 00:02:39.292 --> 00:02:40.326 All right, good to see you, Karen. 00:02:40.426 --> 00:02:41.828 - Hi, Karen. - How are things in Philly? 00:02:41.928 --> 00:02:43.530 - Yeah, okay, I just got done clearing 00:02:43.630 --> 00:02:45.298 dead fall out of my yard 00:02:45.398 --> 00:02:46.733 and I made a gang of stuffed peppers 00:02:46.833 --> 00:02:48.735 to take down the shore. 00:02:48.835 --> 00:02:50.436 My son, Dave, just started Roxy. 00:02:50.537 --> 00:02:53.540 How are youse? 00:02:53.640 --> 00:02:55.808 - Oh my god, Karen. 00:02:55.909 --> 00:02:59.946 I forgot what a beautiful accent you have. 00:03:00.046 --> 00:03:02.815 You sound fancy. 00:03:02.916 --> 00:03:04.050 - So classy. - So classy. 00:03:04.150 --> 00:03:05.852 - Get out. Don't be stupid. 00:03:05.952 --> 00:03:08.488 - Oh, I have always, always been jealous of that accent. 00:03:08.588 --> 00:03:10.256 - Yeah, I wish I had an accent. 00:03:10.356 --> 00:03:11.858 - Me too. 00:03:11.958 --> 00:03:13.593 I talk so boring. - Yeah. 00:03:13.693 --> 00:03:15.862 - Okay, say things in Philly. Say "water." 00:03:15.962 --> 00:03:16.896 - Wooder. 00:03:16.996 --> 00:03:17.797 - What did she say? 00:03:17.897 --> 00:03:18.831 - Say "water." 00:03:18.932 --> 00:03:19.832 - Wooder. 00:03:19.933 --> 00:03:22.202 - What did she say? - Water. 00:03:22.302 --> 00:03:23.336 - Wooder. - What's she saying? 00:03:23.436 --> 00:03:24.604 - Say "water." 00:03:24.704 --> 00:03:26.005 - Wooder, yeah, wooder. 00:03:26.105 --> 00:03:27.640 - What'd she say? Water? - Oh, so beautiful. 00:03:27.740 --> 00:03:29.409 - It's like "Downtown Abbey." 00:03:29.509 --> 00:03:31.110 - Yeah. 00:03:31.211 --> 00:03:32.278 - It's like when you go home 00:03:32.378 --> 00:03:33.746 you have a maid that has a pinafore. 00:03:33.846 --> 00:03:35.014 You talk like a beautiful fairy. 00:03:35.114 --> 00:03:37.116 - Yeah. So what's new in Philly? 00:03:37.217 --> 00:03:38.585 - Well, you know my brother Dave 00:03:38.685 --> 00:03:40.286 and his friend Dave and their other friend Dave 00:03:40.386 --> 00:03:42.422 saw a guy beat a Salvation Army Santa 00:03:42.522 --> 00:03:45.692 with an old car battery in the Wawa parking lot. 00:03:45.792 --> 00:03:47.126 Now, Philly's a warzone. 00:03:47.227 --> 00:03:49.896 - Okay, Karen, we don't want any more bad news. 00:03:49.996 --> 00:03:51.497 - We are sick of bad news, Karen. 00:03:51.598 --> 00:03:53.766 - Okay, well, this is kind of good news. 00:03:53.866 --> 00:03:55.535 The other day, a serial killer killed 00:03:55.635 --> 00:03:58.605 another serial killer in front of the Liberty Bell. 00:03:58.705 --> 00:04:01.708 So you know, that's two less serial killers. 00:04:01.808 --> 00:04:04.444 In Philly we call that a Christmas miracle. 00:04:04.544 --> 00:04:05.878 - You know what? The world has gone cuckoo. 00:04:05.979 --> 00:04:07.213 - Cuckoo. 00:04:07.313 --> 00:04:08.381 - I don't even drink coffee in the morning anymore. 00:04:08.481 --> 00:04:11.084 I go straight to wine. - Yeah, I mean, come on. 00:04:11.184 --> 00:04:13.519 Seriously people, it's Christmas and it's crazy. 00:04:13.620 --> 00:04:16.555 The traffic... 00:04:16.656 --> 00:04:17.624 you can't get anywhere. 00:04:17.724 --> 00:04:18.757 - She's crying about the traffic. 00:04:18.858 --> 00:04:21.094 - You got to pay the taxi driver fare and a half 00:04:21.194 --> 00:04:22.962 just to go half a block. 00:04:23.062 --> 00:04:24.364 See that stupid tree. 00:04:24.464 --> 00:04:25.632 - Jodi, why are you crying over traffic? 00:04:25.732 --> 00:04:26.633 Are you okay? 00:04:26.733 --> 00:04:28.034 You're having crazy mood swings. 00:04:28.134 --> 00:04:29.068 - I'm fine. 00:04:29.168 --> 00:04:30.737 - Do you want some water? 00:04:30.837 --> 00:04:34.040 - What? Warder? 00:04:34.140 --> 00:04:35.475 - Hang on, hang on. 00:04:35.575 --> 00:04:36.709 I'm like Columbo over here. 00:04:36.809 --> 00:04:38.544 Look, you're not drinking - I'm fine. 00:04:38.645 --> 00:04:39.846 - Your moods are all over the place. 00:04:39.946 --> 00:04:40.847 - I'm fine. 00:04:40.947 --> 00:04:41.881 - Oh, my God. 00:04:41.981 --> 00:04:43.216 My gut is telling me something. 00:04:43.316 --> 00:04:44.584 Please tell me I'm wrong. 00:04:44.684 --> 00:04:46.286 Please tell me I'm wrong. - You're not wrong. 00:04:46.386 --> 00:04:48.087 I'm pregnant! 00:04:48.187 --> 00:04:50.423 - [groaning loudly] 00:04:50.523 --> 00:04:53.559 - I have an 18-year-old going to the University of Maryland 00:04:53.660 --> 00:04:56.629 and I have to go shop for a crib after this show. 00:04:56.729 --> 00:04:58.364 - Oh, Jodi, what terrible news. 00:04:58.464 --> 00:05:00.300 - Terrible. - Terrible, terrible news, 00:05:00.400 --> 00:05:01.701 but babies are a blessing. 00:05:01.801 --> 00:05:02.702 - Babies are a blessing. 00:05:02.802 --> 00:05:04.137 I know. 00:05:04.237 --> 00:05:06.072 I love babies and I love you guys. 00:05:06.172 --> 00:05:07.640 Merry Christmas. - I'm so happy for you. 00:05:07.740 --> 00:05:08.641 - Me too. 00:05:08.741 --> 00:05:09.676 - But, let me tell you something, 00:05:09.776 --> 00:05:10.943 if I was pregnant, I'd kill myself. 00:05:11.044 --> 00:05:12.979 - Yeah, I know. 00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:14.314 - All right, we're almost out of time 00:05:14.414 --> 00:05:15.315 and I just realized we never looked 00:05:15.415 --> 00:05:16.416 at your ornaments, Karen. 00:05:16.516 --> 00:05:18.985 - Oh, okay. Yeah, here's one. 00:05:21.754 --> 00:05:23.589 I gotta be honest with you. They're not great. 00:05:23.690 --> 00:05:24.891 - Nope. 00:05:24.991 --> 00:05:27.126 - No, they are not. - Don't quit your day job. 00:05:27.226 --> 00:05:28.428 - Yeah, just put it back in the box. 00:05:28.528 --> 00:05:30.229 - Put it back in the box. It's offending me. 00:05:30.330 --> 00:05:33.866 All right, so Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas, everybody. 00:05:33.966 --> 00:05:35.004 - We have a lot of shopping to do so we gotta go. 00:05:35.004 --> 00:05:37.869 - I gotta go. I gotta go get a crib.