[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.67,0:00:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hello, hi, hi, hi.\NWelcome to "Bronx Beat."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.38,0:00:11.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm Betty.\N- I'm Jodi. You know that.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.58,0:00:13.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yes, hello, hello.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.82,0:00:16.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Okay, welcome to\Nour Christmas episode.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.32,0:00:17.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cheers to Christmas.\N- Cheers to Christmas.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.85,0:00:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here you go, cheers, friend.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.02,0:00:19.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.02,0:00:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did you put alcohol\Nin this eggnog?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.25,0:00:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Of course, what do you think?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.76,0:00:24.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm not having any, you know,\Nwhat 'cause I gotta drive.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.16,0:00:25.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We all gotta drive.\NWhat? Everyone's driving.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.56,0:00:27.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Y'all gonna drive. Okay.\N- Relax.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.33,0:00:30.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- So it's Christmas,\Nbut not that you would know it
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.53,0:00:31.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause every time\Nyou turn on your TV,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.80,0:00:33.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what do you see? Bad news.\N- Bad news.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.47,0:00:34.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gloom and doom. I'm sick of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.93,0:00:36.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So stupid. It's Christmas.\NGive me a break.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.97,0:00:38.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You know what I want\Nfor Christmas?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.14,0:00:39.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Huh?\N- No more bad news.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.27,0:00:40.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Thank you.\NYeah, it's Christmas.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.94,0:00:42.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You think you got Santa\Ncoming down the chimney?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.24,0:00:44.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's ISIS.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.03,0:00:46.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Aye-yi-yisis, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.78,0:00:47.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ISIS, enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.78,0:00:48.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take a day off.\N- Enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.98,0:00:49.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Take a nap.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.98,0:00:50.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go for a walk.\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.98,0:00:52.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do something nice.\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.12,0:00:54.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go see a movie.\N- Yeah, go see "Star Wars."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.62,0:00:56.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh my, enough, no,\Nenough with Star Wars.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.19,0:00:57.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Enough with Star Wars.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.29,0:00:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I don't want anymore\NStar Wars, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.29,0:00:59.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- May the force\Ngive me a break already.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.39,0:01:00.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ugh.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.09,0:01:02.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm saturated.\N- Saturated.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.30,0:01:03.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Everywhere you look,\Nit's Star Wars
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.36,0:01:04.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yogurts and soups and buses
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.73,0:01:06.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and backpacks and candy bars\Nand crackers and soups.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.50,0:01:08.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You know what? Not for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.17,0:01:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Too many lasers and corridors\Nand bleep bloops.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.04,0:01:11.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's exhausting. Grow up.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.77,0:01:14.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- There's a giant talking dog\Nin that movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.17,0:01:15.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So dumb.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.44,0:01:17.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, that's right,\Nthey call it a Wookie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.54,0:01:19.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- A Wookie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.31,0:01:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And his name is Chewie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.71,0:01:22.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what,\NI'm throughie with Chewie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.42,0:01:23.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.58,0:01:24.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- 'Cause he's a Wookie.\N- A Wookie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.82,0:01:25.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What the hell's a Wookie?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.09,0:01:27.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- A dog-man that flies a plane.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.75,0:01:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pass!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.22,0:01:32.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You know how to say, "I'm sick\Nof Star Wars," in Wookie?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.93,0:01:34.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[gargling noises]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.13,0:01:38.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- The only thing about space\NI'm more interested in
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.96,0:01:41.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is more counter space.\N- Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.13,0:01:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Because my dumb husband\Ntakes it up
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.17,0:01:43.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with all this NutriBullet.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.37,0:01:45.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ugh, it's so dumb.\N- Makes his shakes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.54,0:01:47.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ugh, shakes are dumb.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.71,0:01:49.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My dumb husband made meatballs
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.34,0:01:50.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with too much garlic in them\Nthe other night
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.68,0:01:51.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we're laying in bed
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.78,0:01:53.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he's farting in his sleep,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.75,0:01:55.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm blaming it on the dog.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.32,0:01:58.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dog looks at me and says,\N"Uh-uh. It's that guy."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.88,0:02:00.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Husbands are so dumb.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.29,0:02:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- But I love him.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.92,0:02:05.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Farts and all!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.99,0:02:07.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He farts like a dog,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.89,0:02:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he makes love to me\Nso tenderly.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.13,0:02:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gave me my four children!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.23,0:02:13.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- All right,\NGod, Jodi, really, relax.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.87,0:02:14.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm fine. I'm fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.00,0:02:16.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, who cares?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.50,0:02:18.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- All right.\N- All right.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.44,0:02:19.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Let's bring out\Nthe first guest. Who is it?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.61,0:02:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- All right, well,\Nno one was available
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.71,0:02:21.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause of the holidays
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.84,0:02:23.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I got my cousin Karen\Nfrom Philly.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.58,0:02:24.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, right, cousin Karen.\NI like her. She's cute.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.98,0:02:26.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, she's cute, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.31,0:02:28.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's bringing some homemade\NChristmas ornaments.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.41,0:02:29.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's going to show it to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.72,0:02:31.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She sells them on Etsy\Nor whatever.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.12,0:02:32.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Great.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.15,0:02:33.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come on in.\N- Come on, Karen.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.25,0:02:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hurry up now.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.29,0:02:40.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right,\Ngood to see you, Karen.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.43,0:02:41.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hi, Karen.\N- How are things in Philly?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.93,0:02:43.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, okay,\NI just got done clearing
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.63,0:02:45.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dead fall out of my yard
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.40,0:02:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I made a gang\Nof stuffed peppers
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.83,0:02:48.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to take down the shore.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.84,0:02:50.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My son, Dave, just started Roxy.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.54,0:02:53.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How are youse?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.64,0:02:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh my god, Karen.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.91,0:02:59.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I forgot what a beautiful accent\Nyou have.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.05,0:03:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You sound fancy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.92,0:03:04.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- So classy.\N- So classy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.15,0:03:05.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Get out. Don't be stupid.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.95,0:03:08.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, I have always, always\Nbeen jealous of that accent.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.59,0:03:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, I wish I had an accent.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.36,0:03:11.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Me too.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.96,0:03:13.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I talk so boring.\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.69,0:03:15.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Okay, say things in Philly.\NSay "water."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.96,0:03:16.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Wooder.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.100,0:03:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What did she say?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.90,0:03:18.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Say "water."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.93,0:03:19.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Wooder.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.93,0:03:22.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What did she say?\N- Water.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.30,0:03:23.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Wooder.\N- What's she saying?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.44,0:03:24.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Say "water."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.70,0:03:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Wooder, yeah, wooder.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.10,0:03:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What'd she say? Water?\N- Oh, so beautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.74,0:03:29.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It's like "Downtown Abbey."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.51,0:03:31.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.21,0:03:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It's like when you go home
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.38,0:03:33.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have a maid\Nthat has a pinafore.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.85,0:03:35.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You talk like a beautiful fairy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.11,0:03:37.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah.\NSo what's new in Philly?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.22,0:03:38.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Well, you know my brother Dave
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.68,0:03:40.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his friend Dave\Nand their other friend Dave
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.39,0:03:42.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saw a guy beat\Na Salvation Army Santa
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.52,0:03:45.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with an old car battery\Nin the Wawa parking lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.79,0:03:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, Philly's a warzone.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.23,0:03:49.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Okay, Karen, we don't\Nwant any more bad news.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.100,0:03:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We are sick of\Nbad news, Karen.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.60,0:03:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Okay, well, this is\Nkind of good news.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.87,0:03:55.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The other day,\Na serial killer killed
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.64,0:03:58.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,another serial killer\Nin front of the Liberty Bell.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.70,0:04:01.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you know, that's two less\Nserial killers.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.81,0:04:04.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Philly we call that\Na Christmas miracle.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.54,0:04:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You know what?\NThe world has gone cuckoo.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.98,0:04:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Cuckoo.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.31,0:04:08.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I don't even drink coffee\Nin the morning anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.48,0:04:11.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I go straight to wine.\N- Yeah, I mean, come on.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.18,0:04:13.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seriously people,\Nit's Christmas and it's crazy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.62,0:04:16.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The traffic...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.66,0:04:17.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't get anywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.72,0:04:18.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- She's crying\Nabout the traffic.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.86,0:04:21.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You got to pay the taxi driver\Nfare and a half
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.19,0:04:22.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just to go half a block.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.06,0:04:24.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See that stupid tree.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.46,0:04:25.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Jodi, why are you crying\Nover traffic?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.73,0:04:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.73,0:04:28.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're having crazy mood swings.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.13,0:04:29.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.17,0:04:30.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you want some water?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.84,0:04:34.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What? Warder?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.14,0:04:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hang on, hang on.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.58,0:04:36.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm like Columbo over here.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.81,0:04:38.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look, you're not drinking\N- I'm fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.64,0:04:39.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Your moods are\Nall over the place.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.95,0:04:40.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.95,0:04:41.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, my God.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.98,0:04:43.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My gut is telling me something.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.32,0:04:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please tell me I'm wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.68,0:04:46.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please tell me I'm wrong.\N- You're not wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.39,0:04:48.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm pregnant!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.19,0:04:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- [groaning loudly]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.52,0:04:53.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I have an 18-year-old going\Nto the University of Maryland
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.66,0:04:56.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have to go shop for a crib\Nafter this show.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.73,0:04:58.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, Jodi, what terrible news.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.46,0:05:00.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Terrible.\N- Terrible, terrible news,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.40,0:05:01.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but babies are a blessing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.80,0:05:02.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Babies are a blessing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.80,0:05:04.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.24,0:05:06.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love babies\Nand I love you guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.17,0:05:07.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Merry Christmas.\N- I'm so happy for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.74,0:05:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Me too.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.74,0:05:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- But, let me tell you\Nsomething,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.78,0:05:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I was pregnant,\NI'd kill myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.04,0:05:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, I know.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.08,0:05:14.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- All right,\Nwe're almost out of time
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.41,0:05:15.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I just realized\Nwe never looked
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.42,0:05:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at your ornaments, Karen.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.52,0:05:18.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, okay. Yeah, here's one.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.75,0:05:23.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I gotta be honest with you.\NThey're not great.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.69,0:05:24.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Nope.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.99,0:05:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No, they are not.\N- Don't quit your day job.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.23,0:05:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, just put it back\Nin the box.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.53,0:05:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Put it back in the box.\NIt's offending me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.33,0:05:33.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right, so Merry Christmas\N- Merry Christmas, everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.97,0:05:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We have a lot of shopping\Nto do so we gotta go.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.00,0:05:37.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I gotta go.\NI gotta go get a crib.