1 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,276 - Hello, hi, hi, hi. Welcome to "Bronx Beat." 2 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:11,478 I'm Betty. - I'm Jodi. You know that. 3 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,239 - Yes, hello, hello. 4 00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:16,216 - Okay, welcome to our Christmas episode. 5 00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:17,751 Cheers to Christmas. - Cheers to Christmas. 6 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:18,918 Here you go, cheers, friend. 7 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:19,919 Wait a minute. 8 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,154 Did you put alcohol in this eggnog? 9 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:22,655 - Of course, what do you think? 10 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,057 - I'm not having any, you know, what 'cause I gotta drive. 11 00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:25,458 - We all gotta drive. What? Everyone's driving. 12 00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:27,227 Y'all gonna drive. Okay. - Relax. 13 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:30,430 - So it's Christmas, but not that you would know it 14 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,698 'cause every time you turn on your TV, 15 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,366 what do you see? Bad news. - Bad news. 16 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:34,834 Gloom and doom. I'm sick of it. 17 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:36,870 So stupid. It's Christmas. Give me a break. 18 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,038 - You know what I want for Christmas? 19 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:39,172 - Huh? - No more bad news. 20 00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:40,840 - Thank you. Yeah, it's Christmas. 21 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,142 You think you got Santa coming down the chimney? 22 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,328 It's ISIS. 23 00:00:45,031 --> 00:00:46,679 - Aye-yi-yisis, okay? 24 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:47,680 ISIS, enough. 25 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:48,882 Take a day off. - Enough. 26 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:49,883 - Take a nap. 27 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:50,884 Go for a walk. - Yeah. 28 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,018 - Do something nice. - Yeah. 29 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,521 Go see a movie. - Yeah, go see "Star Wars." 30 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,089 - Oh my, enough, no, enough with Star Wars. 31 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,190 - Enough with Star Wars. 32 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,191 - I don't want anymore Star Wars, okay? 33 00:00:58,291 --> 00:00:59,292 - May the force give me a break already. 34 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,994 - Ugh. 35 00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,195 - I'm saturated. - Saturated. 36 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:03,263 - Everywhere you look, it's Star Wars 37 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,631 and yogurts and soups and buses 38 00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:06,399 and backpacks and candy bars and crackers and soups. 39 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:08,068 - You know what? Not for me. 40 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:09,936 Too many lasers and corridors and bleep bloops. 41 00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:11,671 It's exhausting. Grow up. 42 00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:14,074 - There's a giant talking dog in that movie. 43 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,341 So dumb. 44 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,444 - Yeah, that's right, they call it a Wookie. 45 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,212 - A Wookie. 46 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,613 And his name is Chewie. 47 00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:22,315 You know what, I'm throughie with Chewie. 48 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,483 - Yeah. 49 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,717 - 'Cause he's a Wookie. - A Wookie. 50 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:25,985 - What the hell's a Wookie? 51 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,654 - A dog-man that flies a plane. 52 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,123 Pass! 53 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,826 - You know how to say, "I'm sick of Star Wars," in Wookie? 54 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,861 [gargling noises] 55 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,865 - The only thing about space I'm more interested in 56 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,034 is more counter space. - Thank you. 57 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,068 - Because my dumb husband takes it up 58 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,269 with all this NutriBullet. 59 00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,438 - Ugh, it's so dumb. - Makes his shakes. 60 00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,607 - Ugh, shakes are dumb. 61 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,242 My dumb husband made meatballs 62 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,577 with too much garlic in them the other night 63 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,678 and we're laying in bed 64 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,646 and he's farting in his sleep, 65 00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:55,215 and I'm blaming it on the dog. 66 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:58,785 Dog looks at me and says, "Uh-uh. It's that guy." 67 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,186 - Husbands are so dumb. 68 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,822 - But I love him. 69 00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:05,892 Farts and all! 70 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,794 He farts like a dog, 71 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:11,030 but he makes love to me so tenderly. 72 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,132 Gave me my four children! 73 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:13,766 - All right, God, Jodi, really, relax. 74 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:14,901 - I'm fine. I'm fine. 75 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,402 Anyway, who cares? 76 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,338 - All right. - All right. 77 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:19,506 - Let's bring out the first guest. Who is it? 78 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:20,607 - All right, well, no one was available 79 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,741 'cause of the holidays 80 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,476 so I got my cousin Karen from Philly. 81 00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:24,878 - Oh, right, cousin Karen. I like her. She's cute. 82 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,212 - Yeah, she's cute, right? 83 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,314 She's bringing some homemade Christmas ornaments. 84 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:29,616 She's going to show it to us. 85 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,017 She sells them on Etsy or whatever. 86 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:32,051 - Great. 87 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,153 Come on in. - Come on, Karen. 88 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,621 Hurry up now. 89 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,326 All right, good to see you, Karen. 90 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:41,828 - Hi, Karen. - How are things in Philly? 91 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,530 - Yeah, okay, I just got done clearing 92 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,298 dead fall out of my yard 93 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:46,733 and I made a gang of stuffed peppers 94 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,735 to take down the shore. 95 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,436 My son, Dave, just started Roxy. 96 00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:53,540 How are youse? 97 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,808 - Oh my god, Karen. 98 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,946 I forgot what a beautiful accent you have. 99 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,815 You sound fancy. 100 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,050 - So classy. - So classy. 101 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,852 - Get out. Don't be stupid. 102 00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,488 - Oh, I have always, always been jealous of that accent. 103 00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:10,256 - Yeah, I wish I had an accent. 104 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,858 - Me too. 105 00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,593 I talk so boring. - Yeah. 106 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,862 - Okay, say things in Philly. Say "water." 107 00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:16,896 - Wooder. 108 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:17,797 - What did she say? 109 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:18,831 - Say "water." 110 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:19,832 - Wooder. 111 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,202 - What did she say? - Water. 112 00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:23,336 - Wooder. - What's she saying? 113 00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,604 - Say "water." 114 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,005 - Wooder, yeah, wooder. 115 00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,640 - What'd she say? Water? - Oh, so beautiful. 116 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,409 - It's like "Downtown Abbey." 117 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,110 - Yeah. 118 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,278 - It's like when you go home 119 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,746 you have a maid that has a pinafore. 120 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,014 You talk like a beautiful fairy. 121 00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,116 - Yeah. So what's new in Philly? 122 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,585 - Well, you know my brother Dave 123 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,286 and his friend Dave and their other friend Dave 124 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:42,422 saw a guy beat a Salvation Army Santa 125 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,692 with an old car battery in the Wawa parking lot. 126 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,126 Now, Philly's a warzone. 127 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,896 - Okay, Karen, we don't want any more bad news. 128 00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,497 - We are sick of bad news, Karen. 129 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,766 - Okay, well, this is kind of good news. 130 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,535 The other day, a serial killer killed 131 00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:58,605 another serial killer in front of the Liberty Bell. 132 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,708 So you know, that's two less serial killers. 133 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,444 In Philly we call that a Christmas miracle. 134 00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:05,878 - You know what? The world has gone cuckoo. 135 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,213 - Cuckoo. 136 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,381 - I don't even drink coffee in the morning anymore. 137 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:11,084 I go straight to wine. - Yeah, I mean, come on. 138 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,519 Seriously people, it's Christmas and it's crazy. 139 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,555 The traffic... 140 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:17,624 you can't get anywhere. 141 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:18,757 - She's crying about the traffic. 142 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:21,094 - You got to pay the taxi driver fare and a half 143 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,962 just to go half a block. 144 00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:24,364 See that stupid tree. 145 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,632 - Jodi, why are you crying over traffic? 146 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:26,633 Are you okay? 147 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,034 You're having crazy mood swings. 148 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:29,068 - I'm fine. 149 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,737 - Do you want some water? 150 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:34,040 - What? Warder? 151 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,475 - Hang on, hang on. 152 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,709 I'm like Columbo over here. 153 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,544 Look, you're not drinking - I'm fine. 154 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,846 - Your moods are all over the place. 155 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:40,847 - I'm fine. 156 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:41,881 - Oh, my God. 157 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,216 My gut is telling me something. 158 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,584 Please tell me I'm wrong. 159 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,286 Please tell me I'm wrong. - You're not wrong. 160 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,087 I'm pregnant! 161 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,423 - [groaning loudly] 162 00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,559 - I have an 18-year-old going to the University of Maryland 163 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,629 and I have to go shop for a crib after this show. 164 00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,364 - Oh, Jodi, what terrible news. 165 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,300 - Terrible. - Terrible, terrible news, 166 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,701 but babies are a blessing. 167 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:02,702 - Babies are a blessing. 168 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,137 I know. 169 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,072 I love babies and I love you guys. 170 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,640 Merry Christmas. - I'm so happy for you. 171 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:08,641 - Me too. 172 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:09,676 - But, let me tell you something, 173 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:10,943 if I was pregnant, I'd kill myself. 174 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,979 - Yeah, I know. 175 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,314 - All right, we're almost out of time 176 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:15,315 and I just realized we never looked 177 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:16,416 at your ornaments, Karen. 178 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,985 - Oh, okay. Yeah, here's one. 179 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:23,589 I gotta be honest with you. They're not great. 180 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:24,891 - Nope. 181 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,126 - No, they are not. - Don't quit your day job. 182 00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:28,428 - Yeah, just put it back in the box. 183 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,229 - Put it back in the box. It's offending me. 184 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,866 All right, so Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas, everybody. 185 00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,004 - We have a lot of shopping to do so we gotta go. 186 00:05:35,004 --> 00:05:37,869 - I gotta go. I gotta go get a crib.