0:00:09.031,0:00:11.791
Imagine it's one year from today,

0:00:12.146,0:00:15.005
and we all agree that we're going[br]to come back for a reunion.

0:00:15.005,0:00:16.117
Not maybe, absolutely;

0:00:16.117,0:00:18.706
we'll all come back,[br]exactly the same group of us,

0:00:18.706,0:00:20.649
and we're to come back for a reunion.

0:00:20.649,0:00:23.851
Only we're going to share the things[br]that have happened in our life

0:00:23.851,0:00:25.948
during the last 12 months of our life.

0:00:26.467,0:00:29.139
We're going to share[br]what it is that we dreamed up

0:00:29.139,0:00:32.933
when we were here[br]at TEDx in October of 2016,

0:00:32.933,0:00:34.702
and what's happening[br]in our lives now,

0:00:34.702,0:00:36.652
365 days later.

0:00:36.892,0:00:39.712
What would you love[br]to be saying about your life?

0:00:39.968,0:00:42.588
What would you love to say[br]in the four areas

0:00:42.588,0:00:45.128
where humans actually do create results?

0:00:45.664,0:00:47.649
We live in a spiral universe.[br]

0:00:48.037,0:00:49.054
In a spiral,

0:00:49.054,0:00:51.260
there's an ever upward pull[br]of becomingness.

0:00:51.640,0:00:54.554
A little blade of grass feels it[br]as it presses through cement

0:00:54.554,0:00:57.095
to become more of itself[br]today than yesterday.

0:00:57.651,0:00:59.430
A tree presses to the edges of itself

0:00:59.430,0:01:02.341
to become more of itself[br]today than yesterday.

0:01:02.629,0:01:05.922
And humans feel the same thing; [br]we just feel it a little differently.

0:01:05.922,0:01:08.821
We feel it through longing,[br]and we feel it through discontent.

0:01:08.821,0:01:10.645
We feel a longing for greater freedom,

0:01:10.645,0:01:14.230
we feel a discontent with[br]certain circumstances and situations.

0:01:14.869,0:01:19.532
And if we just keep breathing[br]another 365 days,

0:01:19.532,0:01:21.397
we will create results,

0:01:21.727,0:01:23.289
because that's what humans do.

0:01:23.742,0:01:25.524
Now, we create results in four areas.

0:01:25.601,0:01:28.099
We create results[br]in health and well-being.

0:01:28.099,0:01:31.379
You could look at your own results[br]right now in health and well-being,

0:01:31.379,0:01:33.140
but what'll you love a year from now?

0:01:33.140,0:01:36.142
Because if you keep breathing,[br]you'll have results in that area.

0:01:36.142,0:01:38.493
Humans create results in relationships.

0:01:38.493,0:01:39.837
Some of them are wonderful,

0:01:39.837,0:01:40.890
some of them are deep,

0:01:40.890,0:01:43.220
some of them are supportive,[br]some of them are not.

0:01:43.220,0:01:45.849
What would you love [br]in the area of your relationships?

0:01:45.849,0:01:47.660
To bring someone special in your life?

0:01:47.660,0:01:50.227
Would you love to transform[br]a relationship you're in?

0:01:50.443,0:01:54.291
Maybe a relationship is on auto-pilot,[br]and you'd love to have it go deeper.

0:01:54.920,0:01:56.790
Humans create results in vocation.

0:01:56.790,0:01:58.530
What we do with our time and talent,

0:01:58.530,0:02:01.100
whether we earn income doing it or not,

0:02:01.100,0:02:03.100
because just by our beingness,

0:02:03.100,0:02:05.300
we're doing something[br]with our time and talent.

0:02:05.300,0:02:07.441
Even if we think,[br]"I've made so many mistakes,

0:02:07.441,0:02:10.212
I'm going to crawl in bed[br]and put the covers over my head."

0:02:10.212,0:02:13.253
What I create that day[br]is "covers-over-my-head day in bed."

0:02:13.253,0:02:16.781
I don't get to not create[br]out of my experience.

0:02:17.063,0:02:18.939
And humans create results -

0:02:18.939,0:02:21.535
here we go - humans create results -

0:02:21.809,0:02:22.878
humans create results

0:02:22.878,0:02:25.956
in time and money, freedom or constraint.

0:02:25.956,0:02:28.764
So if you think about next year[br]when we come to the reunion,

0:02:28.764,0:02:30.360
what would you love to be saying?

0:02:30.360,0:02:32.413
You know, on my calendar[br]the last 12 months,

0:02:32.413,0:02:36.688
here's what were the evidences[br]of more freedom for me, and time.

0:02:36.688,0:02:40.453
More freedom for me[br]in the economic freedom

0:02:40.453,0:02:43.352
where I could go where I wanted to go,[br]do what I wanted to do,

0:02:43.352,0:02:45.840
but maybe even more importantly,[br]and I believe it is,

0:02:45.840,0:02:48.033
actually give to the things[br]that matter to you.

0:02:48.033,0:02:52.246
Provide some of the things[br]for those that matter to you as well.

0:02:52.983,0:02:55.795
Now, about 40 years ago,

0:02:55.795,0:02:58.524
I got very, very interested[br]in transformation.

0:02:59.152,0:03:01.837
I was getting my undergraduate degree,

0:03:01.837,0:03:04.080
and I cared deeply about kids.

0:03:04.080,0:03:07.080
I longed for quite a while[br]to become a schoolteacher.

0:03:07.080,0:03:09.132
While I was getting[br]my undergraduate degree

0:03:09.132,0:03:12.316
I wanted to study everything I could[br]in the field of transformation.

0:03:12.316,0:03:15.502
And the purpose was to help[br]children discover a kind of self-esteem

0:03:15.502,0:03:18.485
so no matter what their circumstances[br]or their situations,

0:03:18.485,0:03:20.154
they could actually believe

0:03:20.154,0:03:22.579
that they could become[br]the person they wanted to be,

0:03:22.579,0:03:24.779
and achieve the things[br]they wanted to achieve.

0:03:24.795,0:03:27.992
I went on a got a graduate degree[br]in counseling psychology;

0:03:27.992,0:03:29.897
I earned an honorary doctorate;

0:03:30.351,0:03:34.573
my first book, "Building Your Field[br]of Dreams," became a PBS special;

0:03:34.573,0:03:37.522
I had the privilege of working[br]with His Holiness the Dalai Lama

0:03:37.522,0:03:39.474
over the course of seven years,

0:03:39.474,0:03:41.966
creating week-long conversations.

0:03:41.966,0:03:45.426
I could just sit right next to him[br]for a week at a time over seven years,

0:03:45.426,0:03:46.529
three different times.

0:03:46.529,0:03:50.384
Conversations with world leaders about[br]how to transform our world's results.

0:03:51.014,0:03:53.217
I got very interested[br]in how results happened,

0:03:53.217,0:03:54.976
and how to transform results.

0:03:55.405,0:03:58.909
I had the privilege of speaking[br]at the United Nations

0:03:58.909,0:04:02.592
with the Martin Luther King kids[br]and Ghandi's grandkids

0:04:02.592,0:04:06.562
and creating a 64-day season[br]for nonviolence,

0:04:06.562,0:04:08.553
particularly teaching junior high kids

0:04:08.553,0:04:13.338
about how to solve problems[br]through acts of nonviolence and caring.

0:04:13.678,0:04:15.724
And I spoke at the UN[br]three different times,

0:04:15.724,0:04:17.512
one of them with Rosa Parks.

0:04:17.512,0:04:20.182
I was building my dreams;[br]they mattered to me.

0:04:20.182,0:04:24.327
I had the privilege of working[br]and flying to Cape Town, South Africa,

0:04:24.327,0:04:26.175
and meeting with Nelson Mandela.

0:04:26.433,0:04:29.068
I had a deep dream[br]to ask him the question,

0:04:29.068,0:04:31.206
"How did you transform your results?

0:04:31.206,0:04:35.298
How did you be a man[br]who gets sentenced to life in prison -

0:04:35.298,0:04:37.674
you served 27 years in hard prison -

0:04:37.674,0:04:40.994
and then not only do you get[br]out of prison before you die,

0:04:40.994,0:04:42.500
but you actually then become

0:04:42.500,0:04:45.426
president of the country[br]that sentences you to life.

0:04:45.624,0:04:48.107
Who on our planet does this?

0:04:48.565,0:04:49.823
How did you do that?

0:04:49.823,0:04:51.750
What was going on inside of you?"

0:04:51.750,0:04:55.748
And that has been my quest[br]and my interest and my deep longing

0:04:55.748,0:04:57.208
so that I could transfer that

0:04:57.208,0:05:00.534
and offer that to the people[br]that I had the privilege of working with,

0:05:00.534,0:05:03.238
working with tens of thousands[br]of people around the world

0:05:03.238,0:05:04.799
around changing their results.

0:05:05.103,0:05:08.171
Does it mean that because[br]every time I've studied this

0:05:08.171,0:05:10.141
and worked with my own life and others,

0:05:10.141,0:05:12.306
that every time for me[br]my dreams came true?

0:05:12.306,0:05:16.112
No. Does it mean[br]everything I did worked out? No.

0:05:16.112,0:05:19.146
My first business [br]that I spent 23 years building -

0:05:19.146,0:05:20.461
I took my eye off the ball,

0:05:20.461,0:05:24.227
I hired somebody to run the finances,[br]it was totally mismanaged.

0:05:24.227,0:05:26.299
I lost everything I had built.

0:05:26.435,0:05:28.308
It was heartbreaking to me.

0:05:28.931,0:05:30.453
But there are three steps

0:05:30.453,0:05:34.062
that dream builders use[br]either consciously or unconsciously

0:05:34.062,0:05:36.231
to transform their results

0:05:36.231,0:05:39.356
so that the dream wins over conditions;

0:05:39.356,0:05:41.824
so that the dream wins over time;

0:05:41.824,0:05:45.923
so that the dream wins over[br]all kinds of circumstances, situations,

0:05:45.923,0:05:49.040
and even our history,[br]no matter how long it's been there,

0:05:49.040,0:05:52.071
and sometimes[br]it's been there for decades.

0:05:52.586,0:05:56.549
About 150 years ago, a man decided[br]to do an experiment with his life.

0:05:56.549,0:05:59.686
That's what we're invited to do[br]over the next 12 months.

0:05:59.837,0:06:02.286
Keep breathing and do[br]an experiment with life.

0:06:02.862,0:06:05.522
He went to the woods, Henry David Thoreau,

0:06:05.522,0:06:09.348
and he said, prior to his - this quote[br]that's up here, he said,

0:06:09.348,0:06:13.100
"I wanted to learn to suck[br]the marrow out of aliveness.

0:06:13.100,0:06:16.490
I wanted to live a life[br]I loved living while I was living it.

0:06:16.628,0:06:17.641
I went to the woods

0:06:17.641,0:06:21.352
because I wished to deliberately front[br]the only essential facts of life

0:06:21.352,0:06:25.137
and see if life could not teach me[br]what it had to teach,

0:06:25.137,0:06:27.178
and not when I came to die

0:06:27.178,0:06:30.919
discover that I had not[br]even really lived."

0:06:31.732,0:06:35.176
Now, Henry did this two-year,[br]two-month, two-day experiment,

0:06:35.176,0:06:37.130
and then he wrote an essay about it.

0:06:37.130,0:06:39.033
In the conclusion of that essay,

0:06:39.509,0:06:42.555
he writes a quote that is worldwide known:

0:06:42.555,0:06:45.407
"If one advances confidently[br]in the direction of their dream

0:06:45.407,0:06:47.807
and endeavors to live[br]the life they've imagined,"

0:06:47.807,0:06:50.279
he said, "I learned this[br]at least by my experiment,

0:06:50.279,0:06:53.933
if one advances confidently[br]in the direction of their dream."

0:06:53.933,0:06:57.909
Well, you can't advance in a direction[br]you don't already have an idea of.

0:06:57.909,0:07:02.360
And the first thing dream builders[br]or people who evolve their results do

0:07:02.360,0:07:06.001
is they have an idea of what they[br]would really love their life to be like.

0:07:06.001,0:07:07.763
If I say to you "your front door";

0:07:07.763,0:07:10.099
if I say to you "the kitchen sink[br]where you live";

0:07:10.099,0:07:12.444
if I say to you "the bed[br]you sleep in most often";

0:07:12.444,0:07:15.964
you did not see the letters[br]B E D or S I N K or D O O R,

0:07:15.964,0:07:17.113
you saw pictures.

0:07:17.177,0:07:20.421
You saw a picture of a door,[br]a picture of a sink, a picture of a bed.

0:07:20.421,0:07:23.519
This is important for us to know[br]as building a dream,

0:07:23.519,0:07:26.071
because most of us dream dreams,[br]and we're vague.

0:07:26.071,0:07:27.432
We don't really see a dream.

0:07:27.432,0:07:30.071
We say, "I want it to be better,[br]I want it to be easier.

0:07:30.071,0:07:31.581
I'd love to travel,"

0:07:31.581,0:07:33.998
and there's no picture[br]for where we would travel.

0:07:33.998,0:07:37.106
The more specific you are[br]and the more specific you are right now,

0:07:37.106,0:07:41.399
this talk will mean way more to you[br]over the course of this next year.

0:07:41.526,0:07:43.102
What would you really love?

0:07:43.102,0:07:44.511
Most of us ask this question:

0:07:44.511,0:07:45.711
What do I think I can do?

0:07:45.711,0:07:47.393
What does the economy say I can do?

0:07:47.393,0:07:50.351
What do you think I can do?[br]What does my mother think I can do?

0:07:50.351,0:07:52.695
What would you love?[br]is the right question.

0:07:52.695,0:07:55.743
You'll have different thoughts[br]on the frequency of that question

0:07:55.743,0:07:58.555
than you will have[br]on the "What do I think?" question.

0:07:58.555,0:07:59.839
What would you really love?

0:08:00.114,0:08:03.413
Because you're going to have results[br]in those four areas anyway.

0:08:03.643,0:08:07.039
Now, I knew nothing about this in 1966.

0:08:07.039,0:08:11.758
In 1966, I had grown up[br]in a very, very happy family.

0:08:11.758,0:08:14.665
My mom and dad,[br]my sister, eight years older.

0:08:15.715,0:08:16.811
This was 1966.

0:08:16.811,0:08:18.269
I was a junior in high school,

0:08:18.269,0:08:19.895
I was homecoming princess,

0:08:19.995,0:08:21.744
had a lead in the junior play.

0:08:22.200,0:08:25.233
I was my class vice president,

0:08:25.748,0:08:28.458
had three best friends[br]from the time I was 10 years old,

0:08:28.458,0:08:31.767
and we'd hung out together,[br]and done many, many things together.

0:08:32.071,0:08:35.171
In spring break of 1966,

0:08:35.171,0:08:37.505
my high school sweetheart[br]had gone off to college,

0:08:37.505,0:08:38.854
came home on spring break,

0:08:38.854,0:08:40.423
and I got pregnant.

0:08:40.559,0:08:42.719
May 1, I tell my mom and dad[br]I'm now pregnant.

0:08:42.719,0:08:45.381
My mother wept for me as if I had died.

0:08:45.537,0:08:48.310
We had a very hasty[br]10-person wedding middle of May.

0:08:48.310,0:08:50.384
The high school principal[br]calls me in, says,

0:08:50.384,0:08:51.559
"Are these rumors true?"

0:08:51.559,0:08:55.104
I said, "If the rumors are I'm pregnant,[br]married, in that order, then yes."

0:08:55.104,0:08:57.101
He just put his head[br]in his hands and said,

0:08:57.101,0:09:00.153
"Mary, you will not allowed[br]to return here for your senior year.

0:09:00.153,0:09:01.760
It would be totally inappropriate

0:09:01.760,0:09:05.214
for a pregnant girl to get mixed in[br]with the normal girls,

0:09:05.214,0:09:07.126
but we have a place for people like you.

0:09:07.126,0:09:09.181
It's a high school[br]not held during daylight.

0:09:09.181,0:09:11.286
It's across the river -[br]in a part of Portland

0:09:11.286,0:09:13.452
I hadn't been allowed[br]to drive in after dark -

0:09:13.452,0:09:16.888
and it's where the pregnant girls[br]and delinquent boys go to high school."

0:09:16.888,0:09:18.805
So that's where I began my senior year,

0:09:18.805,0:09:21.083
and my first son was born[br]in December of 1966.

0:09:21.083,0:09:23.133
Only now, the mothers[br]of my best girlfriends

0:09:23.133,0:09:26.527
would no longer let them see me[br]because I was married, I was pregnant.

0:09:26.527,0:09:28.981
It was as if what I had was contagious.

0:09:29.521,0:09:33.380
I graduated from Washington[br]Evening High School in May of 1967,

0:09:33.380,0:09:37.312
and in July of 1967,[br]I was in a Portland hospital,

0:09:37.312,0:09:40.196
having been diagnosed[br]with fatal kidney disease.

0:09:40.196,0:09:42.448
One kidney was totally[br]destroyed with nephritis,

0:09:42.448,0:09:45.862
the other kidney was 50% destroyed[br]in active nephritis.

0:09:45.862,0:09:48.716
And in 1967, this is a death sentence.

0:09:48.716,0:09:51.222
We don't have dialysis,[br]we don't have transplants,

0:09:51.677,0:09:55.318
and every medical physician,[br]doctor, specialist, surgeon

0:09:55.318,0:09:56.489
all said the same thing:

0:09:56.489,0:09:59.184
"The best we can do[br]is maybe give you six months

0:09:59.184,0:10:02.175
if we can get the blood toxin level[br]in your body reduced enough

0:10:02.175,0:10:03.286
to remove that surgery,

0:10:03.286,0:10:05.012
then maybe you'll have six months."

0:10:05.012,0:10:06.704
And I was terrified.

0:10:07.414,0:10:12.143
And my belief system at that time[br]was this was happening to me.

0:10:12.453,0:10:16.727
I was being punished for being a bad girl,[br]and I was being punished.

0:10:16.869,0:10:18.549
Well, the night before the surgery,

0:10:18.549,0:10:20.173
a woman walked in my room at 10 pm

0:10:20.173,0:10:22.597
who identified herself[br]as a chaplain offering prayer

0:10:22.597,0:10:25.731
for people who'll have surgeries[br]the next day - did I want prayer?

0:10:25.731,0:10:28.947
And I'm thinking, you know,[br]well, the God of my upbringing

0:10:28.947,0:10:31.822
probably needed to have[br]some anger management classes.

0:10:31.822,0:10:32.817
(Laughter)

0:10:32.817,0:10:35.828
It's the only God I knew at the time,[br]and I said, "Well, maybe."

0:10:35.828,0:10:38.035
She didn't do anything[br]that looked like prayer.

0:10:38.035,0:10:40.236
She talked to me,[br]and she asked me to tell her

0:10:40.236,0:10:43.426
what had been going on in my life[br]the last year or two, which I did,

0:10:43.426,0:10:46.916
and when I was finished, she said,[br]"Mary, everything's created twice."

0:10:46.916,0:10:47.982
"What do you mean?"

0:10:47.982,0:10:50.507
She said, "You know this.[br]In fact, everybody knows it.

0:10:50.507,0:10:53.604
Almost nobody knows[br]the power of knowing this.

0:10:54.796,0:10:57.550
The bed you're on, your nightgown,[br]the sheet covering you,

0:10:57.550,0:11:00.594
the walls, ceiling, floor,[br]all the machinery you're hooked up to

0:11:00.594,0:11:03.441
first had to be a thought[br]before it could be a thing.

0:11:04.056,0:11:05.498
You know this."

0:11:05.736,0:11:08.425
Then she said, "I hear[br]how much you love your little boy,

0:11:08.425,0:11:10.906
but I also hear how much[br]you've been hating yourself.

0:11:10.906,0:11:14.341
You feel like you shamed yourself,[br]you shamed your school, your family.

0:11:14.341,0:11:17.172
And now that you're thinking[br]how everything's created twice,

0:11:17.172,0:11:19.667
could you consider[br]that there could be a correlation

0:11:19.667,0:11:20.961
because, notice this Mary,

0:11:20.961,0:11:24.075
if you think embarrassing thoughts,[br]your cheeks get red;

0:11:24.075,0:11:27.489
if you think scary enough thoughts,[br]your heart beats faster.

0:11:27.489,0:11:29.494
It doesn't mean[br]anything scary is going on;

0:11:29.494,0:11:32.092
it doesn't even mean anything[br]embarrassing is going on;

0:11:32.092,0:11:35.440
it means you think those thoughts,[br]and your body responds.

0:11:35.440,0:11:39.290
Could it be that if you think[br]enough toxic thoughts about yourself,

0:11:39.421,0:11:43.516
there could be a correlative, a toxicity,[br]that goes on in your body

0:11:43.516,0:11:45.589
that actually could threaten your life?"

0:11:45.589,0:11:46.801
Well, this was so beyond

0:11:46.801,0:11:49.837
anything that I had[br]any framework for at that point.

0:11:50.170,0:11:53.539
"Could you believe it's possible[br]that we could do a prayer or say words

0:11:53.539,0:11:55.842
and this could completely[br]be eliminated from you,

0:11:55.842,0:11:57.791
and when they come[br]to get you for surgery,

0:11:57.791,0:11:59.740
they say, 'Get up, go home. You're fine.'

0:11:59.740,0:12:00.904
Could you believe that?"

0:12:00.904,0:12:02.517
And I told her the truth: "No."

0:12:02.517,0:12:04.862
I didn't believe that[br]was going to happen for me.

0:12:04.862,0:12:06.875
There was not one part[br]of me that believed.

0:12:06.875,0:12:09.365
I was way more belief[br]in my pain at that point.

0:12:09.365,0:12:11.513
She said: "Alright,[br]if you can't believe this,

0:12:11.513,0:12:14.155
remember there's an infinite[br]number of possibilities.

0:12:14.155,0:12:16.831
There has to be one[br]where instead of - we do this prayer,

0:12:16.831,0:12:22.240
we pull all the genesis of this dis-ease[br]that's going on in you

0:12:22.240,0:12:24.691
and put it in the kidney[br]that's going to be removed.

0:12:24.691,0:12:26.545
And when it's removed, you get better.

0:12:26.545,0:12:28.707
Could you believe that's possible?"

0:12:28.707,0:12:30.318
I didn't know if it was possible,

0:12:30.318,0:12:32.602
but I could tell[br]she believed it was possible,

0:12:32.602,0:12:34.311
and I believe it was the first time

0:12:34.311,0:12:37.405
I ever chose to believe on the frequency[br]of someone else's belief,

0:12:37.405,0:12:39.164
who was operating at a higher domain.

0:12:39.164,0:12:40.604
I said, "Maybe it's possible."

0:12:40.604,0:12:44.231
Remember, this is before Sheldrake[br]and David Bohm, and quantum field science,

0:12:44.231,0:12:46.465
and all the things -

0:12:46.723,0:12:49.336
at this point, there was[br]no mind-body clinic at Harvard.

0:12:49.336,0:12:52.855
I mean, in the last 40 years,[br]so much has happened.

0:12:52.855,0:12:55.072
So she said, "Alright,[br]let's work with that.

0:12:55.072,0:12:56.071
One idea," she says,

0:12:56.071,0:12:59.393
"one part of you open to the idea;[br]let's work with that."

0:12:59.393,0:13:01.063
She said some words.

0:13:01.063,0:13:05.329
She gave me a prescriptive for how to use[br]my thinking and my emotion,

0:13:05.329,0:13:06.949
and then she left,

0:13:07.013,0:13:08.988
and they did the surgery,

0:13:08.988,0:13:10.983
and about a week or two later,

0:13:10.983,0:13:13.776
my numbers were stable -[br]enough that they said,

0:13:13.776,0:13:16.123
"You might have a bit more time.[br]You can go home."

0:13:16.123,0:13:18.225
I went to my parents' house[br]in an ambulance,

0:13:18.225,0:13:20.196
where my son and husband were staying.

0:13:20.196,0:13:22.205
I could hardly get my head off the pillow.

0:13:22.205,0:13:25.692
But subtly - I was in many times a week[br]at first, and over time, less time

0:13:25.692,0:13:27.823
as being checked,[br]having my numbers checked.

0:13:27.823,0:13:31.745
And subtly over time, my numbers[br]not only stabilized, but improved.

0:13:31.745,0:13:34.711
And four or five months later,[br]I'm sitting in a doctor's office

0:13:34.711,0:13:37.440
with a surgeon and a specialist[br]and my regular GP,

0:13:37.440,0:13:39.441
and they're scratching[br]their heads, saying,

0:13:39.441,0:13:42.146
"We have no science[br]for why your one kidney

0:13:42.146,0:13:43.479
is not only getting [better]

0:13:43.479,0:13:46.858
it seems to be functioning[br]as a perfectly whole fine kidney.

0:13:46.858,0:13:49.507
We don't have any science for this.

0:13:49.507,0:13:51.491
We'll put medical anomaly on your chart.

0:13:51.491,0:13:53.502
Whatever you've been doing,[br]keep doing it."

0:13:53.502,0:13:54.979
(Laughter)

0:13:54.979,0:13:58.375
That's when I began to do the things[br]that I've told you about.

0:13:58.375,0:14:01.198
I got into undergraduate school,[br]I got into graduate school,

0:14:01.198,0:14:03.794
and over time as I reflected[br]about what happened,

0:14:03.794,0:14:06.777
and I studied people[br]who transform their results -

0:14:07.329,0:14:09.405
people who transform their results,

0:14:09.405,0:14:13.414
not just wish for a better result,[br]but actually transform their results -

0:14:13.414,0:14:15.963
there are three things they do,[br]every one of them,

0:14:15.963,0:14:18.589
whether they do it[br]consciously or unconsciously.

0:14:18.589,0:14:22.156
When I transformed my health result,[br]I was totally an unconscious competent.

0:14:22.156,0:14:23.789
I just did what she told me to do.

0:14:23.789,0:14:25.767
She said: "Here's what's going to happen.

0:14:25.767,0:14:29.511
When you have that surgery, yet your mind[br]is very much like a rubber band,

0:14:29.511,0:14:31.186
you thought those thoughts so much,

0:14:31.186,0:14:33.856
your mind is going to want[br]to think those toxic thoughts.

0:14:33.856,0:14:35.801
They're going to remove that one kidney.

0:14:35.801,0:14:38.966
Every time you notice yourself[br]starting to think of toxic thoughts,

0:14:38.966,0:14:40.763
say, "No, that left with the kidney,"

0:14:40.763,0:14:43.539
and then immediately imagine yourself -

0:14:43.539,0:14:46.077
like you're walking in[br]and getting into your own bed -

0:14:46.077,0:14:46.947
imagine yourself."

0:14:46.947,0:14:49.033
I wanted my two big dreams:

0:14:49.033,0:14:51.557
I want to be a teacher,[br]and I want to raise my son.

0:14:51.557,0:14:55.111
"Imagine you're walking into a school[br]with a five-year-old's hand in yours.

0:14:55.111,0:14:57.015
Feel the warmth of his hand in yours.

0:14:57.015,0:14:59.098
He goes into his kindergarten class.

0:14:59.098,0:15:00.961
You hear the click-click of your heels.

0:15:00.961,0:15:03.005
Around the corner, there's your classroom,

0:15:03.005,0:15:04.723
and you're a teacher, and he's five.

0:15:04.723,0:15:05.810
Imagine yourself.

0:15:05.810,0:15:08.778
Then fast forward: imagine[br]you're sitting in a big auditorium.

0:15:08.778,0:15:10.431
There's caps and gowns down there.

0:15:10.431,0:15:14.089
Your son's 18; he's graduating[br]from high school, and you're there,

0:15:14.089,0:15:15.816
and your teaching career is growing.

0:15:15.816,0:15:19.237
Then fast forward and imagine[br]you're in the front row of a wedding.

0:15:19.237,0:15:20.754
You're the mother of the groom.

0:15:20.754,0:15:22.732
Your son's marrying the love of his life.

0:15:22.732,0:15:24.633
And your teaching career is flourishing.

0:15:24.633,0:15:26.168
Keep repeating that."

0:15:26.448,0:15:27.893
I had done that unconsciously.

0:15:27.893,0:15:30.137
Every time I would start[br]to think, "Oh my gosh!"

0:15:30.137,0:15:33.385
and start to generate[br]that wavelength of self-loathing,

0:15:33.567,0:15:35.482
I said: "No, that left with the kidney."

0:15:35.482,0:15:36.486
Then I saw myself,

0:15:36.486,0:15:39.401
and I imagined being the person[br]taking him into kindergarten,

0:15:39.401,0:15:41.576
being the person seeing him graduate,

0:15:41.576,0:15:44.639
being the person sitting[br]in the front row of his wedding.

0:15:44.639,0:15:46.485
I had no idea the power of that.

0:15:46.805,0:15:50.606
But after 45 years of studying[br]and tens of thousands of people,

0:15:50.799,0:15:52.921
what I know are these three things.

0:15:53.197,0:15:56.829
That if when we get together[br]next year for our reunion,

0:15:56.829,0:16:00.437
and if you would love[br]to be able to share results,

0:16:00.437,0:16:02.598
in particularly[br]one or two areas of your life

0:16:02.598,0:16:06.035
where you feel the greatest longing[br]and the most discontent,

0:16:06.275,0:16:08.562
then these three things will help you.

0:16:08.722,0:16:13.778
Number one, you want to create[br]with clarity a specific dream.

0:16:13.778,0:16:17.936
Imagine yourself: health,[br]what would you love? relationships.

0:16:18.064,0:16:21.074
As clear the dream you can design,

0:16:21.074,0:16:23.531
the more your brain[br]can work on that frequency.

0:16:23.531,0:16:26.122
You know if you want to change[br]your television channel,

0:16:26.122,0:16:27.776
you have to change the frequency.

0:16:27.776,0:16:30.076
You know if you want[br]to change the radio station,

0:16:30.076,0:16:31.913
you've got to change the frequency.

0:16:31.913,0:16:33.998
We're not really different.

0:16:34.208,0:16:36.234
We think on frequencies.

0:16:36.421,0:16:39.087
Our ability to see[br]and not see opportunities

0:16:39.087,0:16:41.483
are on the frequencies we think from.

0:16:41.483,0:16:43.308
Create a specific dream.

0:16:43.308,0:16:44.911
See yourself in it.

0:16:45.220,0:16:47.166
Refuse to stay discouraged.

0:16:47.166,0:16:50.689
I didn't say refuse to get discouraged;[br]we're all going to get discouraged.

0:16:50.689,0:16:52.843
Not everything we try[br]is going to work out.

0:16:52.843,0:16:57.124
We learned to walk by falling down;[br]we just didn't stay down.

0:16:57.124,0:16:58.532
We were little kids.

0:16:58.532,0:17:01.174
It was normal to explore, experiment.

0:17:01.174,0:17:02.169
We got older,

0:17:02.169,0:17:04.780
and we thought every step[br]we take has got to work out.

0:17:04.780,0:17:06.919
So decline to stay discouraged.

0:17:06.919,0:17:08.593
Okay, that was feedback.

0:17:08.593,0:17:12.656
When Edison was asked[br]"How did you survive 10,000 failures?"

0:17:12.884,0:17:16.133
He said: "I never had a failure;[br]it was all feedback."

0:17:16.347,0:17:18.496
You'll have some feedback this year.

0:17:18.496,0:17:20.689
Decline to stay discouraged,

0:17:20.887,0:17:24.435
and then be more interested[br]in the growth that will happen for you

0:17:24.435,0:17:26.150
by means of having a dream.

0:17:26.537,0:17:30.945
Yes, many, many wonderful things[br]will happen if you become a dream builder,

0:17:30.945,0:17:32.888
not a dreamer, a dream builder,

0:17:32.888,0:17:35.118
because you're going[br]to create results anyway.

0:17:35.328,0:17:37.287
But to stay in the comfort zone

0:17:37.287,0:17:39.687
means you're going[br]to keep having what you've had -

0:17:39.687,0:17:41.225
that's where you're comfortable.

0:17:41.225,0:17:44.612
If you want something you've never had,[br]do something you've never done -

0:17:44.612,0:17:45.605
that's growth.

0:17:45.605,0:17:48.087
We'll get a little unstable[br]in that part of our life.

0:17:48.087,0:17:52.709
So if you're more interested[br]in growth than comfort,

0:17:52.709,0:17:56.114
you're willing to be interested[br]a little bit in growth

0:17:56.114,0:17:59.227
because it's more for you[br]than what's been,

0:17:59.227,0:18:01.379
and do that in service of your dream.

0:18:01.989,0:18:03.192
So those three things:

0:18:03.192,0:18:04.637
be specific about your dream;

0:18:04.637,0:18:06.329
decline to stay discouraged;

0:18:06.329,0:18:09.154
be in service of your dream[br]through the growth that happens,

0:18:09.154,0:18:13.489
and you can have that every single day[br]during this 365-day experiment

0:18:13.489,0:18:16.570
before we have our reunion next year.

0:18:16.900,0:18:20.453
Now, not one of us can go back[br]and change what's back there,

0:18:20.453,0:18:24.814
but every single one of us can decide[br]what's going to be out there.

0:18:24.814,0:18:26.154
Thank you.

0:18:26.154,0:18:27.778
(Applause)