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Hi everyone, I'm Gil Tene.

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I'm going to be talking about this subject
that I call "How NOT to Measure Latency".

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It's a subject that I've been talking
about for 3 years or so.

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I keep the title and change all
the slides every time.

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A bunch of this stuff is new.

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So if you've seen any of my previous "How NOT to",
you'll see only some things that are common.

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A nickname for the subject is this...

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Because I often will get that reaction
from some people in the audience.

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Ever since I've told people that it's a
nickname,

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They feel free to actually exclaim,
"Oh S@%#!".

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And feel free to do that here in this talk.

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I'll prompt you in a couple of places
where it is natural.

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But if just have the urge, go ahead.

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So just a tiny bit about me.

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I am the co-founder of Azul Systems.

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I play around with garbage collection a lot.

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Here is some evidence of me playing around
with garbage collection in my kitchen.

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That's a trash compactor.

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The compaction function wasn't working right,
so I had to fix it.

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I thought it'd be funny to take a picture
with a book.

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I've also built a lot of things.

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I've been playing with computers since
the early 80's.

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I've built hardware.

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I've helped design chips.

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I've built software at many 
different levels.

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Operating systems, drivers...
JVM's obviously.

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And lots of big systems at the system level.

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Built our own app server in the late 90's
because web logic wasn't around yet.

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So, I've made a lot of mistakes,
and I've learned from a few of them.

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This is actually a combination of a bunch
of those mistakes looking at latency.

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I do have this hobby of depressing people
by pulling the wool up from over your eyes,

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and this is what this talk is about.

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So, I need to give you a choice right here.

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There's the door.

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You can take the blue pill, 
and you can leave.

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Tomorrow you can keep believing whatever
it is you want to believe.

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But if you stay here and take the red pill, 
I will show you a glimpse of how

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far down the rabbit hole goes, 
and it will never be the same again.

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Let's talk about latency.

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And when I say latency, I'm talking about
latency response time, any of those things

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where you measure time from 'here to here',
and you're interested in how long it took.

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We do this all the time, but I see a lot 
of mish-mash in how people

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treat the data, or think about it.

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Latency is basically the time it took
something to happen once.

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That one time, how long did it take.

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And when we measure stuff, like we did 
a million operations in the last hour,

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we have a million latencies. Not one,
we have a million of them.

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Our actual goal is to figure out how to
describe that million.

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How did that million behave?

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For example, they're all really good, and
they're all exactly the same, will be a

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behavior that you will never see, 
but that would be a great behavior.