[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.78,0:00:15.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dear Thay, dear Sangha, \Nmy question is about healing Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and about true love. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For me it is very difficult to \Nsay good bye to people, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when people come and go in my life. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been practicing being in \Ntouch with my 5-year-old self Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for some years, and recently when \Nsomeone said good bye to me, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was very difficult. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I reflected on it afterwards, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the voice of my 5-year-old self \Ncame out and said something like: Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I need to make my mother happy \Nso that she can take care of me, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if she's sad, then that means \NI can't make her happy Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that I can't love." Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think when people say good bye to me, \Nthat means that I can't love them Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they're leaving because I \Nhaven't been able to love them. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know that I direct a lot \Nof my love outward Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when someone is leaving \Nor something like that, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then I want to give them more love to \Nmake them stay, I think. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I'm afraid that they're leaving. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think part of it is I'm afraid \Nthat they'll be gone Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe like my mother wasn't there \Nwhen I was a baby, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm also afraid that maybe \NI have some sort of Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,defect that means that my love is ineffective, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't love people that I want to love. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is my question. How to heal this \Nand be able to- Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I can love freely without trying to \Ngrasp onto people when they leave? Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're saying, in every one of us \Nthere is a wounded child. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you need to take \Ncare of that wounded child. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To take care of this wounded child, \Nwe need to go inside ourselves, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we need to be present with ourselves Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of putting a focus out there Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and searching for love, for acceptance, \Nfor recognition to fill up this hole in here Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's left by this big wound, \Nthe wounded child in us. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we need to come back \Nand take care of this, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,take care of ourselves. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's really love for ourselves, that we're able \Nto come back and listen to ourselves, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listen to that wounded child. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And only when we can do that to ourselves, \Nthat we can heal this wounded child. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's only when we can come back and listen to ourselves and be there with ourselves, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to care for this woundedness, that we \Ncan truly love ourselves. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And only when you can do that then \Nyou can love other people. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this love that we have for other people,\Nthat is based on this love for ourselves, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it gives people space, and it gives us space. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It gives the people the freedom,\Nand it gives us the freedom. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The freedom to go, to come \Nwhenever they feel like it. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it give us the freedom to welcome \Npeople when they come Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then to let them go \Nwhen they have to go. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we all here really do \Nit to heal ourselves Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to heal the woundedness inside us, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we've offered concrete \Npractices to do that Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's a matter of freely \Nembodying these concrete practices. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know like putting down to practice,\Nthese teachings and practices that we learn. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also we have the Sangha \Naround us to support us Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in that walk of healing ourselves, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because everyone in the Sangha \Nis really doing that too, to heal ourselves Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I see, Scott, that you are very lucky \Nthat you get to stay here Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,longer than most people here. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, Scott is an intern here that \Nhas been here for several years now Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and has been a member of the \NSangha here for a long time. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, in that way you're very lucky. \NBecause you have the Sangha Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to practice with you, you have the Sangha to remind you to practice, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you have the tools to do it. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is it. This is the place, \Nand this is the time Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to care of that wounded child, to bring your \Nattention in instead of putting it out here. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What happens in the community is that, \Nfrom my own personal experience, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that there's just so many people here. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, I live with 70 sisters. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if I am the kind of person that \Nalways put my attention out here, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's endless. I mean, it never stops. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's just so many interesting people here \Nand more people are coming all the time. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's going to drain me if I \Nalways put my attention here. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I need to have a balance by coming inside Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to care for myself and to listen to myself. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, here in Plum Village, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there are times when we are very \Nbusy like during this retreat Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you know, like this is our fourth \Nweek and everyone is really- Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, like the fatigue, it's sinkening. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there are times when it's not so busy, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one of the thing that you do is \Nworking in the Happy Farm Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sometimes I go down there \Nand I really envy you guys Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because whole day you just work with nature \Nand you really interact with Mother Earth Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you have the space around you, \Nthe silence around you, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these are elements for healing. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you can stop in here, so you can \Nallow these beauties to come in Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's one way to help you heal yourself, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,heal the wounded child inside yourself. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can still put one another \Nin doing this work Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we have everything we need to do it. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a matter of just go back, \Nwhere we're reminded again and again Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the whole community. Go back to take \Ncare of that wounded child. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's love, that's love for ourselves, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also love for other people too. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So thank you for your question. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you, just to add a little bit from \Nthe brothers who live with Scott. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many years you've been here? \NYou like part of Plum Village now, ay? Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, five. It's like the old trees \Ngoing up around here now. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It'll be hard for us to say good bye when you \Ndecide to move on to explore other things. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We do talk about you, the brothers, \Nand how much you have transformed. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You look very beautiful, your body, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has transformed. I don't know, the \Nbrothers are like, "Is that Scott?!" Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if you've looked in the mirror \Nlately, but you look very different. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Scott first came here, he was a different shape. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How to say, sorry to put you on the \Nspot, but you know, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's been through a \Nbeautiful transformation process. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Scott first came here, \Nhe really wanted us to accept him. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we told him, you have \Nto accept yourself first. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is one beautiful transformation, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's come to that level where \Nhe's accepted himself. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you can see it, because your body \Nchanges when your mind changes. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, he's not needy anymore. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Scott, your energy is very positive. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your outlook, we actually see \Nyou helping a lot of people. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have to retell new story, \Nyou're holding onto an old story. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're not just a wounded child, \Nbut you are your mother. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, now you're taking care of other \Npeople like your mother would want you to. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And people feel that connection. \NAll the () come here, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they all go through either Scott, Mark, \NConnor, all the () that live up here Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he take care of them like an \Nolder brother and sister. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is something that we want \Nto express our gratitude to you, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Scott, for hanging out with us when we\Nmade a hard decision on you, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you said, "I'm gonna stick it here." Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You didn't leave. You see,\Nthat is powerful. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Usually when you get rejected by the \Nmonastic, people leave, they [groveling] Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you said, "I'm staying, I'm going \Nfor the long-term program." Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the brothers are like, "Really?" Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then you stick around, you're here \Nmore than some of the monks. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the way you are doing the monastic life, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you train your mind, you transform yourself, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so the story you told me, is one story.\NI could've told it differently. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are now your mother, and \Nyou're living your life for her. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She is alive in you, and you're loving \Npeople like your mother would love you. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, that's another story. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when you say goodbye to them, \Nit's like your mother Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying goodbye to her \Nteenage child to college. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a good life, I'm so happy you've \Nbeen here for one week, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you've touched deeply. See, \Nthis is another story right. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you say goodbye to them, you say- Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my mind, when I say goodbye to people,\NI send them off like that, like "Wow, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thank you for being with us, please pass \Nit on. Be our fingers and go out there Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and help other people touch love, touch \Ngoodness, touch wholesomeness. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have also the energy of your \Nmother inside, not just the child. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, you are her child, you are your \Ngrandchild, but you are also your mother, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your grandmother, your great \Ngreat grandmother. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have to rely on these seeds, \Nthey're all in your self. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can feel it in your hands, your \Nhands is your mother's hands. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And everything you do from now on, you \Nneed to train, to tell another story. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, the story of the wounded child is there,\Nbut you have another story to develop, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and make it a beautiful story. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Work in the Happy Farm, be in touch \Nwith the children that come down there Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you share with them, look, when \Nyou pick up a potato for them, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do it with your mother's hand. \NSo that's your new training, okay? Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every one of us have a story \Nand we get stuck with it, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we keep telling it. \NTell different angles of it, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell a story where you are your mother, tell a \Nstory where you are your father, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell a story that you are the planet \Nearth. You're not just human, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're the planet earth. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you working in the happy farm, \Nyou need to train to be mother earth. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And mother earth is the \Ngreatest mother of all, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and every day you're on \Nyour knees doing stuff, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to do it for the mother energy,\Nthe healing energy that we all need. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're offering it, this is \Nwhy it is hard for you, Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because people really love you, right? Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But as a practitioner, you have \Nto see that they are you. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They are leaving, and they are an \Nextension of you. None-self. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you train. This requires training \Nbecause we are attached to 'me', Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to begin to train like that. Imagine \Nhow many people we have to say goodbye to Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every retreat, every [gibberish]. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is how we train, so please take \Nrefuge in all the mothers inside you Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and look at the people leaving \Nas your mother's child. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think we have a \Nlot of confidence in you. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope you never leave. It will be hard \Nfor us to say goodbye to you. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, a little attachment is okay. Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you, Scott, for being \Na beautiful person.