1
00:00:05,475 --> 00:00:07,459
Ta-da!

2
00:00:07,459 --> 00:00:08,609
(Laughter)

3
00:00:10,122 --> 00:00:12,509
Thank you, you were so patient
waiting for so long.

4
00:00:12,509 --> 00:00:15,929
I so appreciate you staying.
I was expecting a mass exodus.

5
00:00:15,929 --> 00:00:17,837
I do hope I'm worth it.

6
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:20,463
Right, here we go.

7
00:00:20,463 --> 00:00:21,458
Sorry, glasses.

8
00:00:21,458 --> 00:00:22,934
They're quite cool, though, eh?

9
00:00:22,934 --> 00:00:24,004
Yeah, yeah.

10
00:00:24,004 --> 00:00:25,014
Okay.

11
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,650
Right.

12
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:31,337
When I was about 12,

13
00:00:31,428 --> 00:00:34,598
I was introduced to a group of people,

14
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:38,390
who were enthralling and delightful.

15
00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:41,230
They were entertaining and amusing,

16
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:43,225
and I was captivated

17
00:00:43,225 --> 00:00:48,198
by their engaging conversations
and their fascinating ideas.

18
00:00:49,232 --> 00:00:52,692
But just as easily, unfortunately,
they'd turn on me

19
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:59,085
and their words would become brutal,
humiliating and very critical.

20
00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:03,826
They crushed my spirit
with their savagery.

21
00:01:04,669 --> 00:01:09,822
Fortunately, or unfortunately,
they said they would stick by me,

22
00:01:09,822 --> 00:01:12,938
they said they would never desert me.

23
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And they began to protect and guide me

24
00:01:16,588 --> 00:01:18,208
but also punish me

25
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:21,568
if I didn't do what they thought
I should be doing.

26
00:01:21,976 --> 00:01:26,393
We would spend hours in deep conversation,

27
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where I learned the world's
a dangerous place.

28
00:01:30,814 --> 00:01:33,036
They told me I was hated,

29
00:01:33,036 --> 00:01:36,167
that people were out there
that wanted to get rid of me;

30
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:40,458
they told me I was useless,
that I was hopeless,

31
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that I was fat,

32
00:01:41,951 --> 00:01:45,362
that I was ugly and I was stupid,

33
00:01:45,823 --> 00:01:49,548
things I had tried so desperately

34
00:01:50,121 --> 00:01:53,500
to hide from myself and from others,

35
00:01:54,249 --> 00:01:56,479
but they had uncovered the truth.

36
00:01:56,864 --> 00:02:01,822
I became terrified of going out
and suspicious of everyone.

37
00:02:02,741 --> 00:02:06,641
They told me I was a messenger from God,

38
00:02:07,578 --> 00:02:12,311
and they promised me redemption
if I proved myself worthy.

39
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:18,200
They led me down some very dark paths

40
00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:20,904
with promises of enlightenment,

41
00:02:20,909 --> 00:02:25,249
but all I ever experienced
was bitter disappointment.

42
00:02:26,448 --> 00:02:28,488
I became dependent on them.

43
00:02:28,842 --> 00:02:31,472
My companions were authoritative,

44
00:02:31,472 --> 00:02:35,998
but they were vibrant, vital,
and impossible to ignore.

45
00:02:35,998 --> 00:02:42,210
They knew so much about everything,
and I was totally absorbed by them.

46
00:02:43,106 --> 00:02:48,480
Over time, it became hopeless
to release myself from their clutches,

47
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,380
and I excluded everyone from my life,

48
00:02:52,287 --> 00:02:55,907
including those people
who were the most important

49
00:02:56,428 --> 00:03:00,428
and those people who had dared to love me.

50
00:03:01,111 --> 00:03:04,981
I was now in a slave-master relationship.

51
00:03:05,534 --> 00:03:11,587
It's impossible to flourish in life
when you are hidden from light.

52
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:16,841
I constantly endeavored
to gain their approval, their praise,

53
00:03:16,841 --> 00:03:19,369
and an invitation
into their inner sanctum,

54
00:03:19,369 --> 00:03:22,629
but that door remained closed to me.

55
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:27,866
All of this disappointment
just reinforced my internal self-loathing,

56
00:03:27,866 --> 00:03:30,717
which dominated my every thought,

57
00:03:30,717 --> 00:03:35,117
and I became marooned
from all that's wondrous in this world.

58
00:03:36,256 --> 00:03:41,029
Yet without them,
I felt so desolate, so alone

59
00:03:41,029 --> 00:03:44,659
because they filled
a huge void in my life.

60
00:03:45,772 --> 00:03:48,912
You see, I hear voices.

61
00:03:50,604 --> 00:03:53,924
I hear a variety of different voices -

62
00:03:53,924 --> 00:03:58,119
male, female, young, old.

63
00:03:58,119 --> 00:04:01,154
Some of them even have
these crazy accents,

64
00:04:01,154 --> 00:04:04,473
and they are completely obsessed with me.

65
00:04:05,186 --> 00:04:10,303
They observe and remark
on my every action, my every thought.

66
00:04:10,303 --> 00:04:13,808
There's no privacy,
there's no place of sanctity,

67
00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:16,587
they can access my thinking at will,

68
00:04:16,587 --> 00:04:22,496
and I am never free of their ceaseless
commentary and criticism.

69
00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:26,793
This collection of internal narrators

70
00:04:26,793 --> 00:04:30,030
meddles in every aspect of my life.

71
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,680
"So, what's it like,
this voice-hearing thing?"

72
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,905
I'm sure you've asked yourselves.

73
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,990
I'm a pretty garden-variety voice-hearer.

74
00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:45,295
All that happens is I hear people
when they aren't in the room,

75
00:04:45,975 --> 00:04:50,695
and it's as clear and concise
as if someone's directly in front of me.

76
00:04:52,176 --> 00:04:55,036
I tend to hear my voices from behind me,

77
00:04:55,036 --> 00:04:57,006
so I'll look around -

78
00:04:57,006 --> 00:05:00,958
sometimes there's someone there,
sometimes there isn't,

79
00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:04,788
but the experience is exactly the same.

80
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:11,181
Like most voice-hearers,
I live in a world dominated by words;

81
00:05:11,421 --> 00:05:14,754
I am easy prey to the power of words.

82
00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:18,913
Words can defame, they can defile,

83
00:05:18,913 --> 00:05:22,533
but they can also
bring a heart back to life.

84
00:05:23,452 --> 00:05:28,062
I have come to view voices
as an extreme form of anxiety,

85
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:32,202
a coping strategy to deal
with my high levels of anxiety

86
00:05:32,202 --> 00:05:35,982
and my propensity
to worry about everything.

87
00:05:36,347 --> 00:05:38,375
Try to think of it this way.

88
00:05:38,719 --> 00:05:41,332
When feelings become too intense,

89
00:05:41,332 --> 00:05:44,392
the mind decides,
"You can't cope. You can't cope,"

90
00:05:44,392 --> 00:05:50,596
so you cultivate a technique
to ensure you will survive the onslaught

91
00:05:50,596 --> 00:05:53,953
and will not become overwhelmed
by your emotions.

92
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,008
There's little question

93
00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:02,619
that the primary objective
of voices is to isolate,

94
00:06:02,619 --> 00:06:08,244
creating the ideal environment
for them to have exclusive access to you.

95
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,652
It deprives you of any alternative view,

96
00:06:12,652 --> 00:06:16,922
and you are completely
dictated by their views.

97
00:06:17,736 --> 00:06:21,736
Then that isolation,
it becomes a protection,

98
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,533
and it becomes a protection

99
00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:29,893
against the anguish of living
with such an extremely fragile soul.

100
00:06:31,063 --> 00:06:35,243
The specific clinical term
is "auditory hallucinations."

101
00:06:35,243 --> 00:06:38,803
So, auditory is hearing,
as I'm sure you know.

102
00:06:38,803 --> 00:06:42,059
And yes, I hear them. Yes, that's fine.

103
00:06:43,379 --> 00:06:46,679
Hallucinations in terms of imagining -

104
00:06:46,679 --> 00:06:49,225
well, no.

105
00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:52,685
The fact is I hear voices
other people don't hear.

106
00:06:52,903 --> 00:06:55,553
That's my reality.

107
00:06:57,515 --> 00:07:00,645
But I acknowledge that is my reality,

108
00:07:00,645 --> 00:07:05,895
and I acknowledge that not everyone
is attuned to these exchanges.

109
00:07:06,308 --> 00:07:08,714
That doesn't mean they don't exist.

110
00:07:09,273 --> 00:07:13,111
There are a lot of things
that we experience as individuals

111
00:07:13,111 --> 00:07:14,851
that we do not share.

112
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:21,216
They are unique to ourselves;
that does not mean they don't happen.

113
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,982
Our mental health operates on a continuum,

114
00:07:26,108 --> 00:07:31,477
a sliding scale oscillating
from low to extreme stress,

115
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,412
depending on life events.

116
00:07:33,789 --> 00:07:37,113
Living is a stressful business, is it not?

117
00:07:37,351 --> 00:07:42,914
And no person is immune to the trials
and tribulations of everyday life.

118
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As human beings,
we are brilliant, just brilliant,

119
00:07:48,146 --> 00:07:52,193
at dealing with complex,
difficult situations.

120
00:07:52,754 --> 00:07:57,514
As well as the external stressors,
we have internal vulnerabilities,

121
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which make us susceptible
to certain stressors,

122
00:08:03,181 --> 00:08:07,791
sensitivities that have accumulated
over our lifetime:

123
00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:12,794
fear of failure, fear of rejection,

124
00:08:13,103 --> 00:08:18,075
fear of conflict,
fear of being out of control -

125
00:08:18,218 --> 00:08:22,046
you share these fears,
I have no doubt about that.

126
00:08:22,898 --> 00:08:28,213
And each vulnerability brings with it
a mental load which we carry,

127
00:08:28,213 --> 00:08:30,635
like in a backpack on our back.

128
00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:33,269
Most of the time it's light

129
00:08:33,269 --> 00:08:35,936
and we can easily
carry around that burden,

130
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:42,524
but when circumstances
add to that load, such as:

131
00:08:42,524 --> 00:08:45,170
arguing with someone you care about;

132
00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:48,926
dropping your new phone,
and it's always your new phone,

133
00:08:48,926 --> 00:08:50,791
down the toilet -

134
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:51,886
(Laughter)

135
00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:55,110
I know, you tell yourself,
"Don't put it in your pocket,"

136
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:57,030
and then it goes, "Plunk";

137
00:08:58,378 --> 00:09:02,807
your favorite auntie dies -
it's never that witch;

138
00:09:02,807 --> 00:09:03,807
(Laughter)

139
00:09:04,016 --> 00:09:09,277
your cat gets in a fight,
and you're racing off to the vet.

140
00:09:09,929 --> 00:09:14,684
As each instance occurs,
the load accumulates,

141
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:18,996
and in your backpack of stress,
it's getting heavier,

142
00:09:19,975 --> 00:09:23,805
and the effect multiplies exponentially.

143
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:28,257
Your stress level
has moved along the continuum;

144
00:09:28,257 --> 00:09:33,367
it has gone from medium
to high to unbearable.

145
00:09:34,662 --> 00:09:39,800
There is a limit to how much stress
any one person can tolerate,

146
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:44,017
and when you add in
our quiet vulnerabilities,

147
00:09:44,804 --> 00:09:49,264
the effect will multiply,
and there will be a response -

148
00:09:49,264 --> 00:09:50,880
there has to be.

149
00:09:51,766 --> 00:09:53,493
When we get stressed,

150
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:58,507
voice-hearing is a technique
that we use to divert our attention

151
00:09:58,507 --> 00:10:01,755
and keeps us from the deeply
wounding issues

152
00:10:01,755 --> 00:10:06,017
that overpower us at times
and make us incredibly fearful.

153
00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:10,655
The voices become a guide
to help navigate a world

154
00:10:10,655 --> 00:10:14,775
that throws so much adversity
and animosity towards us.

155
00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:20,478
Fear is an instinctive response
to a perceived threat,

156
00:10:20,478 --> 00:10:23,320
and it safeguards us against danger.

157
00:10:23,876 --> 00:10:29,368
When your fear is activated,
your anxiety level will increase,

158
00:10:29,368 --> 00:10:32,266
and your brain will be bombarded
with instructions

159
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:36,212
about how to deal
with this imminent threat.

160
00:10:37,196 --> 00:10:39,156
With voice-hearers,

161
00:10:39,156 --> 00:10:44,608
that fear response is triggered
constantly and consistently.

162
00:10:45,873 --> 00:10:49,303
Feeling unsafe, you constantly
scan for danger,

163
00:10:49,303 --> 00:10:52,752
and when you look for it,
you will find it,

164
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:57,109
and this will increase
your anxiety tenfold.

165
00:10:58,176 --> 00:11:03,613
Ultimately, extreme fearfulness
becomes the mind's default position.

166
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:10,641
That will make you hypervigilant
to any threat, real or not.

167
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:16,611
When that converts
into unrelenting, extreme fear,

168
00:11:16,611 --> 00:11:18,142
panic ensues,

169
00:11:18,142 --> 00:11:21,169
and that is incredibly debilitating.

170
00:11:22,238 --> 00:11:25,683
When I panic, I seek refuge.

171
00:11:26,093 --> 00:11:32,051
I will frantically try to collect myself
and may even shut down completely.

172
00:11:32,907 --> 00:11:37,432
Trying to maintain the facade
of being calm and in control

173
00:11:37,432 --> 00:11:39,469
when you're internally freaking out

174
00:11:39,469 --> 00:11:42,330
requires huge amounts of energy.

175
00:11:42,947 --> 00:11:49,005
When my internal and external world
collide so dramatically,

176
00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:54,004
that is when you are likely to see me
openly talking to my voices,

177
00:11:54,459 --> 00:12:00,105
and when our calls for help
and acceptance are rejected,

178
00:12:00,105 --> 00:12:03,741
that makes that task
so much more difficult.

179
00:12:04,546 --> 00:12:07,279
It's not a crazy person you see

180
00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:08,562
but rather a person

181
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:14,276
dealing with intolerable
psychological and emotional pain.

182
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:20,730
When you are overwhelmed,
overcome by fear, and desperate,

183
00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,886
it's perfectly reasonable

184
00:12:22,886 --> 00:12:25,637
to hide yourself away
and lick your wounds,

185
00:12:25,637 --> 00:12:27,135
to stay hidden.

186
00:12:27,135 --> 00:12:30,295
It's a very typical human response.

187
00:12:30,295 --> 00:12:36,513
It's not madness you are observing,
it's a person trying to survive.

188
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,574
The concept of madness
is an interesting one,

189
00:12:41,574 --> 00:12:47,837
arguably constructed by society
to dictate social and cultural norms.

190
00:12:48,611 --> 00:12:55,100
Up until 1974, homosexuality and epilepsy
were both considered mental illnesses,

191
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:57,198
so times have changed.

192
00:12:58,214 --> 00:13:04,371
Masturbation, smoking in church,
these were symptoms of mental illness.

193
00:13:04,371 --> 00:13:06,134
I suspect there might be a few of you

194
00:13:06,134 --> 00:13:08,715
who might even qualify
or meet the criteria.

195
00:13:08,715 --> 00:13:10,245
(Laughter)

196
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:18,042
You may be surprised to hear
that 1 in 25 people report hearing voices.

197
00:13:19,512 --> 00:13:23,942
History, our history, is littered
with voice-hearers.

198
00:13:23,942 --> 00:13:30,619
There's Martin Luther King Jr.,
Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Winston Churchill.

199
00:13:30,619 --> 00:13:36,023
Their memories are not marred
by being identified as a voice-hearer;

200
00:13:36,255 --> 00:13:37,512
rather, they are seen

201
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:43,645
as heroic, great orators, great thinkers,

202
00:13:45,618 --> 00:13:51,348
yet every one of them
would be considered mentally ill

203
00:13:51,348 --> 00:13:53,057
by today's standards.

204
00:13:53,604 --> 00:13:57,854
As for me, I'm only mad
because somebody else says I am.

205
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:02,608
If I say the neighbor told me,

206
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:06,307
"Don't drink from the tap.
It's contaminated,"

207
00:14:07,225 --> 00:14:12,142
I'm socially connected,
and I can sustain relationships.

208
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:17,636
If I say a voice told me

209
00:14:18,217 --> 00:14:21,738
not to drink from the tap,
because it's contaminated,

210
00:14:21,738 --> 00:14:23,938
then clearly I'm crazy.

211
00:14:24,549 --> 00:14:30,147
And if I say, "I hear the voices
of dead people,"

212
00:14:30,147 --> 00:14:33,357
I would probably get my own TV show.

213
00:14:33,357 --> 00:14:34,760
(Laughter)

214
00:14:37,895 --> 00:14:41,266
Please, I'm asking you, please.

215
00:14:41,266 --> 00:14:44,496
Please don't be fooled
by those negative images

216
00:14:44,496 --> 00:14:46,816
portrayed about voice-hearers.

217
00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:51,546
They come from a place
of arrogance and ignorance.

218
00:14:51,546 --> 00:14:55,337
This is not a lifelong affliction

219
00:14:55,337 --> 00:14:58,102
in which people are condemned
to progressively decline

220
00:14:58,102 --> 00:14:59,906
in their mental well-being.

221
00:14:59,906 --> 00:15:04,328
I can assure you
there are thousands of people

222
00:15:04,618 --> 00:15:08,526
who are getting on with their lives
and continuing to thrive.

223
00:15:08,526 --> 00:15:10,413
I found the key.

224
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:14,903
It's not easy, but it's absolutely doable.

225
00:15:15,244 --> 00:15:20,684
Through perseverance, support,
and commitment to be proactive,

226
00:15:20,684 --> 00:15:26,595
I discovered a way to liberate myself
as well as my voices.

227
00:15:27,213 --> 00:15:31,263
I now live the life I so craved.

228
00:15:32,755 --> 00:15:34,976
And I dedicate my time

229
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,489
to working with people
who hear distressing voices.

230
00:15:39,244 --> 00:15:42,623
I developed an approach
based on my own experiences

231
00:15:42,623 --> 00:15:47,077
to help others unshackle themselves
from the tyranny of voices.

232
00:15:47,534 --> 00:15:49,632
I call it "the modern approach,"

233
00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:52,344
and I work in a clinical setting
here in New Zealand.

234
00:15:52,674 --> 00:15:57,545
We provide a safe, compassionate
learning environment

235
00:15:57,545 --> 00:16:02,680
to assist people whose lives
have been violated by negative voices,

236
00:16:02,942 --> 00:16:06,699
who have lost family, friends,

237
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:10,524
and their material and spiritual richness.

238
00:16:11,239 --> 00:16:15,299
My fellow voice-hearers
share their experiences

239
00:16:15,299 --> 00:16:17,236
and are so generous

240
00:16:17,236 --> 00:16:22,531
with their expertise and their wisdom
and how to deal with them.

241
00:16:22,531 --> 00:16:27,287
We have amassed a treasury of information

242
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,787
and actions from their unselfish desire

243
00:16:30,787 --> 00:16:36,447
to help themselves and others
who are negatively affected by voices.

244
00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:42,750
I want to applaud my voice-hearers,

245
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:46,830
who every day demonstrate true courage

246
00:16:47,795 --> 00:16:50,935
when they face their many challenges.

247
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:56,452
I wish to thank those
who sail these uncharted waters with us,

248
00:16:56,452 --> 00:17:01,175
those fabulous people
who believe we're worth it.

249
00:17:02,638 --> 00:17:06,214
It is that cherished quality

250
00:17:06,214 --> 00:17:10,434
that will help us all
usher in a better world.

251
00:17:10,934 --> 00:17:16,167
I want to thank you
for giving me this precious moment

252
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:20,407
so I can talk to you,
so I can be heard,

253
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,145
for you have come

254
00:17:22,145 --> 00:17:25,855
with compassionate hearts
and inquisitive minds;

255
00:17:25,855 --> 00:17:29,755
you support me just by listening to me.

256
00:17:31,529 --> 00:17:33,659
I am a fearful person.

257
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:35,795
I'm quick-thinking.

258
00:17:36,731 --> 00:17:39,726
I have a desperate need to be liked.

259
00:17:40,515 --> 00:17:42,415
I have low self-esteem.

260
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,458
I worry excessively.

261
00:17:46,163 --> 00:17:50,263
I laugh too loud. I talk too much.

262
00:17:51,619 --> 00:17:58,415
But I'm kind, and I'm generous,
and I am quite cheerful.

263
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:05,410
I am the possessor of a mutinous mind,

264
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,311
but I'm not mad.

265
00:18:07,813 --> 00:18:09,074
Thank you.

266
00:18:09,084 --> 00:18:12,461
(Applause) (Cheers)