0:00:05.475,0:00:07.459
Ta-da!

0:00:07.459,0:00:08.609
(Laughter)

0:00:10.122,0:00:12.509
Thank you, you were so patient[br]waiting for so long.

0:00:12.509,0:00:15.929
I so appreciate you staying.[br]I was expecting a mass exodus.

0:00:15.929,0:00:17.837
I do hope I'm worth it.

0:00:19.433,0:00:20.463
Right, here we go.

0:00:20.463,0:00:21.458
Sorry, glasses.

0:00:21.458,0:00:22.934
They're quite cool, though, eh?

0:00:22.934,0:00:24.004
Yeah, yeah.

0:00:24.004,0:00:25.014
Okay.

0:00:25.520,0:00:26.650
Right.

0:00:28.834,0:00:31.337
When I was about 12,

0:00:31.428,0:00:34.598
I was introduced to a group of people,

0:00:35.100,0:00:38.390
who were enthralling and delightful.

0:00:38.670,0:00:41.230
They were entertaining and amusing,

0:00:41.433,0:00:43.225
and I was captivated

0:00:43.225,0:00:48.198
by their engaging conversations[br]and their fascinating ideas.

0:00:49.232,0:00:52.692
But just as easily, unfortunately,[br]they'd turn on me

0:00:53.020,0:00:59.085
and their words would become brutal,[br]humiliating and very critical.

0:01:00.016,0:01:03.826
They crushed my spirit[br]with their savagery.

0:01:04.669,0:01:09.822
Fortunately, or unfortunately,[br]they said they would stick by me,

0:01:09.822,0:01:12.938
they said they would never desert me.

0:01:13.400,0:01:16.588
And they began to protect and guide me

0:01:16.588,0:01:18.208
but also punish me

0:01:18.208,0:01:21.568
if I didn't do what they thought[br]I should be doing.

0:01:21.976,0:01:26.393
We would spend hours in deep conversation,

0:01:26.606,0:01:30.606
where I learned the world's[br]a dangerous place.

0:01:30.814,0:01:33.036
They told me I was hated,

0:01:33.036,0:01:36.167
that people were out there[br]that wanted to get rid of me;

0:01:36.167,0:01:40.458
they told me I was useless,[br]that I was hopeless,

0:01:40.458,0:01:41.951
that I was fat,

0:01:41.951,0:01:45.362
that I was ugly and I was stupid,

0:01:45.823,0:01:49.548
things I had tried so desperately

0:01:50.121,0:01:53.500
to hide from myself and from others,

0:01:54.249,0:01:56.479
but they had uncovered the truth.

0:01:56.864,0:02:01.822
I became terrified of going out[br]and suspicious of everyone.

0:02:02.741,0:02:06.641
They told me I was a messenger from God,

0:02:07.578,0:02:12.311
and they promised me redemption[br]if I proved myself worthy.

0:02:13.450,0:02:18.200
They led me down some very dark paths

0:02:18.630,0:02:20.904
with promises of enlightenment,

0:02:20.909,0:02:25.249
but all I ever experienced[br]was bitter disappointment.

0:02:26.448,0:02:28.488
I became dependent on them.

0:02:28.842,0:02:31.472
My companions were authoritative,

0:02:31.472,0:02:35.998
but they were vibrant, vital,[br]and impossible to ignore.

0:02:35.998,0:02:42.210
They knew so much about everything,[br]and I was totally absorbed by them.

0:02:43.106,0:02:48.480
Over time, it became hopeless[br]to release myself from their clutches,

0:02:48.480,0:02:51.380
and I excluded everyone from my life,

0:02:52.287,0:02:55.907
including those people[br]who were the most important

0:02:56.428,0:03:00.428
and those people who had dared to love me.

0:03:01.111,0:03:04.981
I was now in a slave-master relationship.

0:03:05.534,0:03:11.587
It's impossible to flourish in life[br]when you are hidden from light.

0:03:12.651,0:03:16.841
I constantly endeavored[br]to gain their approval, their praise,

0:03:16.841,0:03:19.369
and an invitation[br]into their inner sanctum,

0:03:19.369,0:03:22.629
but that door remained closed to me.

0:03:23.246,0:03:27.866
All of this disappointment[br]just reinforced my internal self-loathing,

0:03:27.866,0:03:30.717
which dominated my every thought,

0:03:30.717,0:03:35.117
and I became marooned[br]from all that's wondrous in this world.

0:03:36.256,0:03:41.029
Yet without them,[br]I felt so desolate, so alone

0:03:41.029,0:03:44.659
because they filled[br]a huge void in my life.

0:03:45.772,0:03:48.912
You see, I hear voices.

0:03:50.604,0:03:53.924
I hear a variety of different voices -

0:03:53.924,0:03:58.119
male, female, young, old.

0:03:58.119,0:04:01.154
Some of them even have[br]these crazy accents,

0:04:01.154,0:04:04.473
and they are completely obsessed with me.

0:04:05.186,0:04:10.303
They observe and remark[br]on my every action, my every thought.

0:04:10.303,0:04:13.808
There's no privacy,[br]there's no place of sanctity,

0:04:13.808,0:04:16.587
they can access my thinking at will,

0:04:16.587,0:04:22.496
and I am never free of their ceaseless[br]commentary and criticism.

0:04:22.867,0:04:26.793
This collection of internal narrators

0:04:26.793,0:04:30.030
meddles in every aspect of my life.

0:04:31.170,0:04:33.680
"So, what's it like,[br]this voice-hearing thing?"

0:04:33.680,0:04:35.905
I'm sure you've asked yourselves.

0:04:36.120,0:04:39.990
I'm a pretty garden-variety voice-hearer.

0:04:39.990,0:04:45.295
All that happens is I hear people[br]when they aren't in the room,

0:04:45.975,0:04:50.695
and it's as clear and concise[br]as if someone's directly in front of me.

0:04:52.176,0:04:55.036
I tend to hear my voices from behind me,

0:04:55.036,0:04:57.006
so I'll look around -

0:04:57.006,0:05:00.958
sometimes there's someone there,[br]sometimes there isn't,

0:05:00.958,0:05:04.788
but the experience is exactly the same.

0:05:06.098,0:05:11.181
Like most voice-hearers,[br]I live in a world dominated by words;

0:05:11.421,0:05:14.754
I am easy prey to the power of words.

0:05:14.990,0:05:18.913
Words can defame, they can defile,

0:05:18.913,0:05:22.533
but they can also[br]bring a heart back to life.

0:05:23.452,0:05:28.062
I have come to view voices[br]as an extreme form of anxiety,

0:05:28.062,0:05:32.202
a coping strategy to deal[br]with my high levels of anxiety

0:05:32.202,0:05:35.982
and my propensity[br]to worry about everything.

0:05:36.347,0:05:38.375
Try to think of it this way.

0:05:38.719,0:05:41.332
When feelings become too intense,

0:05:41.332,0:05:44.392
the mind decides,[br]"You can't cope. You can't cope,"

0:05:44.392,0:05:50.596
so you cultivate a technique[br]to ensure you will survive the onslaught

0:05:50.596,0:05:53.953
and will not become overwhelmed[br]by your emotions.

0:05:55.154,0:05:57.008
There's little question

0:05:57.008,0:06:02.619
that the primary objective[br]of voices is to isolate,

0:06:02.619,0:06:08.244
creating the ideal environment[br]for them to have exclusive access to you.

0:06:08.800,0:06:12.652
It deprives you of any alternative view,

0:06:12.652,0:06:16.922
and you are completely[br]dictated by their views.

0:06:17.736,0:06:21.736
Then that isolation,[br]it becomes a protection,

0:06:22.680,0:06:24.533
and it becomes a protection

0:06:24.533,0:06:29.893
against the anguish of living[br]with such an extremely fragile soul.

0:06:31.063,0:06:35.243
The specific clinical term[br]is "auditory hallucinations."

0:06:35.243,0:06:38.803
So, auditory is hearing,[br]as I'm sure you know.

0:06:38.803,0:06:42.059
And yes, I hear them. Yes, that's fine.

0:06:43.379,0:06:46.679
Hallucinations in terms of imagining -

0:06:46.679,0:06:49.225
well, no.

0:06:49.225,0:06:52.685
The fact is I hear voices[br]other people don't hear.

0:06:52.903,0:06:55.553
That's my reality.

0:06:57.515,0:07:00.645
But I acknowledge that is my reality,

0:07:00.645,0:07:05.895
and I acknowledge that not everyone[br]is attuned to these exchanges.

0:07:06.308,0:07:08.714
That doesn't mean they don't exist.

0:07:09.273,0:07:13.111
There are a lot of things[br]that we experience as individuals

0:07:13.111,0:07:14.851
that we do not share.

0:07:14.851,0:07:21.216
They are unique to ourselves;[br]that does not mean they don't happen.

0:07:22.609,0:07:25.982
Our mental health operates on a continuum,

0:07:26.108,0:07:31.477
a sliding scale oscillating[br]from low to extreme stress,

0:07:31.868,0:07:33.412
depending on life events.

0:07:33.789,0:07:37.113
Living is a stressful business, is it not?

0:07:37.351,0:07:42.914
And no person is immune to the trials[br]and tribulations of everyday life.

0:07:43.219,0:07:48.146
As human beings,[br]we are brilliant, just brilliant,

0:07:48.146,0:07:52.193
at dealing with complex,[br]difficult situations.

0:07:52.754,0:07:57.514
As well as the external stressors,[br]we have internal vulnerabilities,

0:07:58.003,0:08:02.513
which make us susceptible[br]to certain stressors,

0:08:03.181,0:08:07.791
sensitivities that have accumulated[br]over our lifetime:

0:08:08.283,0:08:12.794
fear of failure, fear of rejection,

0:08:13.103,0:08:18.075
fear of conflict,[br]fear of being out of control -

0:08:18.218,0:08:22.046
you share these fears,[br]I have no doubt about that.

0:08:22.898,0:08:28.213
And each vulnerability brings with it[br]a mental load which we carry,

0:08:28.213,0:08:30.635
like in a backpack on our back.

0:08:31.429,0:08:33.269
Most of the time it's light

0:08:33.269,0:08:35.936
and we can easily[br]carry around that burden,

0:08:36.733,0:08:42.524
but when circumstances[br]add to that load, such as:

0:08:42.524,0:08:45.170
arguing with someone you care about;

0:08:45.470,0:08:48.926
dropping your new phone,[br]and it's always your new phone,

0:08:48.926,0:08:50.791
down the toilet -

0:08:50.791,0:08:51.886
(Laughter)

0:08:52.008,0:08:55.110
I know, you tell yourself,[br]"Don't put it in your pocket,"

0:08:55.110,0:08:57.030
and then it goes, "Plunk";

0:08:58.378,0:09:02.807
your favorite auntie dies -[br]it's never that witch;

0:09:02.807,0:09:03.807
(Laughter)

0:09:04.016,0:09:09.277
your cat gets in a fight,[br]and you're racing off to the vet.

0:09:09.929,0:09:14.684
As each instance occurs,[br]the load accumulates,

0:09:14.684,0:09:18.996
and in your backpack of stress,[br]it's getting heavier,

0:09:19.975,0:09:23.805
and the effect multiplies exponentially.

0:09:24.550,0:09:28.257
Your stress level[br]has moved along the continuum;

0:09:28.257,0:09:33.367
it has gone from medium[br]to high to unbearable.

0:09:34.662,0:09:39.800
There is a limit to how much stress[br]any one person can tolerate,

0:09:40.112,0:09:44.017
and when you add in[br]our quiet vulnerabilities,

0:09:44.804,0:09:49.264
the effect will multiply,[br]and there will be a response -

0:09:49.264,0:09:50.880
there has to be.

0:09:51.766,0:09:53.493
When we get stressed,

0:09:53.493,0:09:58.507
voice-hearing is a technique[br]that we use to divert our attention

0:09:58.507,0:10:01.755
and keeps us from the deeply[br]wounding issues

0:10:01.755,0:10:06.017
that overpower us at times[br]and make us incredibly fearful.

0:10:06.655,0:10:10.655
The voices become a guide[br]to help navigate a world

0:10:10.655,0:10:14.775
that throws so much adversity[br]and animosity towards us.

0:10:15.780,0:10:20.478
Fear is an instinctive response[br]to a perceived threat,

0:10:20.478,0:10:23.320
and it safeguards us against danger.

0:10:23.876,0:10:29.368
When your fear is activated,[br]your anxiety level will increase,

0:10:29.368,0:10:32.266
and your brain will be bombarded[br]with instructions

0:10:32.266,0:10:36.212
about how to deal[br]with this imminent threat.

0:10:37.196,0:10:39.156
With voice-hearers,

0:10:39.156,0:10:44.608
that fear response is triggered[br]constantly and consistently.

0:10:45.873,0:10:49.303
Feeling unsafe, you constantly[br]scan for danger,

0:10:49.303,0:10:52.752
and when you look for it,[br]you will find it,

0:10:52.752,0:10:57.109
and this will increase[br]your anxiety tenfold.

0:10:58.176,0:11:03.613
Ultimately, extreme fearfulness[br]becomes the mind's default position.

0:11:04.440,0:11:10.641
That will make you hypervigilant[br]to any threat, real or not.

0:11:11.079,0:11:16.611
When that converts[br]into unrelenting, extreme fear,

0:11:16.611,0:11:18.142
panic ensues,

0:11:18.142,0:11:21.169
and that is incredibly debilitating.

0:11:22.238,0:11:25.683
When I panic, I seek refuge.

0:11:26.093,0:11:32.051
I will frantically try to collect myself[br]and may even shut down completely.

0:11:32.907,0:11:37.432
Trying to maintain the facade[br]of being calm and in control

0:11:37.432,0:11:39.469
when you're internally freaking out

0:11:39.469,0:11:42.330
requires huge amounts of energy.

0:11:42.947,0:11:49.005
When my internal and external world[br]collide so dramatically,

0:11:49.005,0:11:54.004
that is when you are likely to see me[br]openly talking to my voices,

0:11:54.459,0:12:00.105
and when our calls for help[br]and acceptance are rejected,

0:12:00.105,0:12:03.741
that makes that task[br]so much more difficult.

0:12:04.546,0:12:07.279
It's not a crazy person you see

0:12:07.279,0:12:08.562
but rather a person

0:12:08.562,0:12:14.276
dealing with intolerable[br]psychological and emotional pain.

0:12:15.604,0:12:20.730
When you are overwhelmed,[br]overcome by fear, and desperate,

0:12:20.730,0:12:22.886
it's perfectly reasonable

0:12:22.886,0:12:25.637
to hide yourself away[br]and lick your wounds,

0:12:25.637,0:12:27.135
to stay hidden.

0:12:27.135,0:12:30.295
It's a very typical human response.

0:12:30.295,0:12:36.513
It's not madness you are observing,[br]it's a person trying to survive.

0:12:38.640,0:12:41.574
The concept of madness[br]is an interesting one,

0:12:41.574,0:12:47.837
arguably constructed by society[br]to dictate social and cultural norms.

0:12:48.611,0:12:55.100
Up until 1974, homosexuality and epilepsy[br]were both considered mental illnesses,

0:12:55.100,0:12:57.198
so times have changed.

0:12:58.214,0:13:04.371
Masturbation, smoking in church,[br]these were symptoms of mental illness.

0:13:04.371,0:13:06.134
I suspect there might be a few of you

0:13:06.134,0:13:08.715
who might even qualify[br]or meet the criteria.

0:13:08.715,0:13:10.245
(Laughter)

0:13:12.900,0:13:18.042
You may be surprised to hear[br]that 1 in 25 people report hearing voices.

0:13:19.512,0:13:23.942
History, our history, is littered[br]with voice-hearers.

0:13:23.942,0:13:30.619
There's Martin Luther King Jr.,[br]Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Winston Churchill.

0:13:30.619,0:13:36.023
Their memories are not marred[br]by being identified as a voice-hearer;

0:13:36.255,0:13:37.512
rather, they are seen

0:13:37.512,0:13:43.645
as heroic, great orators, great thinkers,

0:13:45.618,0:13:51.348
yet every one of them[br]would be considered mentally ill

0:13:51.348,0:13:53.057
by today's standards.

0:13:53.604,0:13:57.854
As for me, I'm only mad[br]because somebody else says I am.

0:13:58.938,0:14:02.608
If I say the neighbor told me,

0:14:02.608,0:14:06.307
"Don't drink from the tap.[br]It's contaminated,"

0:14:07.225,0:14:12.142
I'm socially connected,[br]and I can sustain relationships.

0:14:13.167,0:14:17.636
If I say a voice told me

0:14:18.217,0:14:21.738
not to drink from the tap,[br]because it's contaminated,

0:14:21.738,0:14:23.938
then clearly I'm crazy.

0:14:24.549,0:14:30.147
And if I say, "I hear the voices[br]of dead people,"

0:14:30.147,0:14:33.357
I would probably get my own TV show.

0:14:33.357,0:14:34.760
(Laughter)

0:14:37.895,0:14:41.266
Please, I'm asking you, please.

0:14:41.266,0:14:44.496
Please don't be fooled[br]by those negative images

0:14:44.496,0:14:46.816
portrayed about voice-hearers.

0:14:46.816,0:14:51.546
They come from a place[br]of arrogance and ignorance.

0:14:51.546,0:14:55.337
This is not a lifelong affliction

0:14:55.337,0:14:58.102
in which people are condemned[br]to progressively decline

0:14:58.102,0:14:59.906
in their mental well-being.

0:14:59.906,0:15:04.328
I can assure you[br]there are thousands of people

0:15:04.618,0:15:08.526
who are getting on with their lives[br]and continuing to thrive.

0:15:08.526,0:15:10.413
I found the key.

0:15:10.413,0:15:14.903
It's not easy, but it's absolutely doable.

0:15:15.244,0:15:20.684
Through perseverance, support,[br]and commitment to be proactive,

0:15:20.684,0:15:26.595
I discovered a way to liberate myself[br]as well as my voices.

0:15:27.213,0:15:31.263
I now live the life I so craved.

0:15:32.755,0:15:34.976
And I dedicate my time

0:15:34.976,0:15:38.489
to working with people[br]who hear distressing voices.

0:15:39.244,0:15:42.623
I developed an approach[br]based on my own experiences

0:15:42.623,0:15:47.077
to help others unshackle themselves[br]from the tyranny of voices.

0:15:47.534,0:15:49.632
I call it "the modern approach,"

0:15:49.632,0:15:52.344
and I work in a clinical setting[br]here in New Zealand.

0:15:52.674,0:15:57.545
We provide a safe, compassionate[br]learning environment

0:15:57.545,0:16:02.680
to assist people whose lives[br]have been violated by negative voices,

0:16:02.942,0:16:06.699
who have lost family, friends,

0:16:06.699,0:16:10.524
and their material and spiritual richness.

0:16:11.239,0:16:15.299
My fellow voice-hearers[br]share their experiences

0:16:15.299,0:16:17.236
and are so generous

0:16:17.236,0:16:22.531
with their expertise and their wisdom[br]and how to deal with them.

0:16:22.531,0:16:27.287
We have amassed a treasury of information

0:16:27.287,0:16:30.787
and actions from their unselfish desire

0:16:30.787,0:16:36.447
to help themselves and others[br]who are negatively affected by voices.

0:16:37.517,0:16:42.750
I want to applaud my voice-hearers,

0:16:42.750,0:16:46.830
who every day demonstrate true courage

0:16:47.795,0:16:50.935
when they face their many challenges.

0:16:51.301,0:16:56.452
I wish to thank those[br]who sail these uncharted waters with us,

0:16:56.452,0:17:01.175
those fabulous people[br]who believe we're worth it.

0:17:02.638,0:17:06.214
It is that cherished quality

0:17:06.214,0:17:10.434
that will help us all[br]usher in a better world.

0:17:10.934,0:17:16.167
I want to thank you[br]for giving me this precious moment

0:17:16.167,0:17:20.407
so I can talk to you,[br]so I can be heard,

0:17:20.749,0:17:22.145
for you have come

0:17:22.145,0:17:25.855
with compassionate hearts[br]and inquisitive minds;

0:17:25.855,0:17:29.755
you support me just by listening to me.

0:17:31.529,0:17:33.659
I am a fearful person.

0:17:33.959,0:17:35.795
I'm quick-thinking.

0:17:36.731,0:17:39.726
I have a desperate need to be liked.

0:17:40.515,0:17:42.415
I have low self-esteem.

0:17:42.974,0:17:45.458
I worry excessively.

0:17:46.163,0:17:50.263
I laugh too loud. I talk too much.

0:17:51.619,0:17:58.415
But I'm kind, and I'm generous,[br]and I am quite cheerful.

0:18:00.620,0:18:05.410
I am the possessor of a mutinous mind,

0:18:05.780,0:18:07.311
but I'm not mad.

0:18:07.813,0:18:09.074
Thank you.

0:18:09.084,0:18:12.461
(Applause) (Cheers)