1 00:00:06,728 --> 00:00:09,848 On the first day of 2011, 2 00:00:09,848 --> 00:00:12,608 Maria turned four years old. 3 00:00:12,608 --> 00:00:15,498 That day, many people were asking me 4 00:00:15,498 --> 00:00:18,528 Why didn't you put her in school yet? 5 00:00:18,528 --> 00:00:22,133 Which school will she go to? Which school system will you pick for her? 6 00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:26,242 I noticed that many people wanted to know as it's an important parenting decision. 7 00:00:26,366 --> 00:00:29,651 I went to a friend who's experienced in this area, 8 00:00:29,852 --> 00:00:33,022 and asked her for advice to help me choose. 9 00:00:33,022 --> 00:00:35,472 She said: there is no perfect school, 10 00:00:35,472 --> 00:00:37,242 sort out your priorities, 11 00:00:37,242 --> 00:00:40,162 and take your daughter to the first school 12 00:00:40,252 --> 00:00:42,022 that meets your top three. 13 00:00:42,022 --> 00:00:45,411 But you're late! The earlier she's done with school the better, 14 00:00:45,411 --> 00:00:47,871 take her to KG2 directly. 15 00:00:47,871 --> 00:00:48,891 I said okay. 16 00:00:48,891 --> 00:00:52,720 I kept thinking, what do people think of when they pick schools? 17 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:56,560 I found that, of course, they think about academics, 18 00:00:56,730 --> 00:01:01,217 an environment that suits them, and also about some logistics; 19 00:01:01,217 --> 00:01:04,837 like the costs of the school, and how far it is from home.. stuff like that. 20 00:01:04,837 --> 00:01:07,997 So that's what I did, I picked a school, it was fun, 21 00:01:07,997 --> 00:01:10,337 we stayed there for three years. 22 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,159 Of course, she went to KG2 directly as my friend had suggested. 23 00:01:13,159 --> 00:01:16,159 Then, after these 3 years, 24 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:20,719 I started thinking about the criteria of my choice. 25 00:01:20,719 --> 00:01:23,529 The logistics were good, very acceptable. 26 00:01:23,529 --> 00:01:26,249 The school was a bit far, so we moved closer to it 27 00:01:26,249 --> 00:01:28,019 and lived in the same street, 28 00:01:28,019 --> 00:01:32,209 because a school is something we have to be linked to forever. 29 00:01:32,209 --> 00:01:35,839 In terms of environment, the school was great too, but I noticed some things. 30 00:01:35,839 --> 00:01:39,199 When look for a school, and I mean a great one, 31 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:43,739 the choice usually has many parts to it, and I need to accept them all. 32 00:01:43,739 --> 00:01:47,759 One of the things I noticed in the school we picked for Maria 33 00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:51,059 Is that boys are a bit spoiled. 34 00:01:51,059 --> 00:01:53,269 It's obvious sometimes. 35 00:01:53,269 --> 00:01:57,659 For example, the students were allowed to be a little violent, 36 00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,729 especially if they were boys. We sometimes hear people say: 37 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:03,869 "Boys will be boys", as though it is completely acceptable 38 00:02:03,869 --> 00:02:08,609 for boys to be violent to each other. 39 00:02:08,609 --> 00:02:14,109 Some things that had to do with spoiling were ignored, 40 00:02:14,109 --> 00:02:18,109 there was a bit of affectation or pretension among the kids, 41 00:02:18,109 --> 00:02:21,449 who has or does what, 42 00:02:21,449 --> 00:02:26,109 so we started to do things to talk about it rather than to experience it. 43 00:02:26,109 --> 00:02:28,659 Those things had me thinking. 44 00:02:28,659 --> 00:02:32,089 Academically, the school was really good. 45 00:02:32,089 --> 00:02:37,779 Before school, I didn't speak in English with Maria at all, 46 00:02:37,779 --> 00:02:40,509 however, after she went to school and began to learn, 47 00:02:40,509 --> 00:02:43,679 -and thankfully she's an A+ student, 48 00:02:43,679 --> 00:02:45,629 which means she's doing great- 49 00:02:45,629 --> 00:02:49,979 I noticed that whenever she would have to say something important 50 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,969 she would quickly switch to English. 51 00:02:51,989 --> 00:02:53,989 She speaks in Arabic normally, 52 00:02:53,989 --> 00:02:57,479 but as soon as she gets serious, she switches to English. 53 00:02:57,479 --> 00:03:00,329 So I put my foot down, she needs to have stronger Arabic. 54 00:03:00,329 --> 00:03:02,659 She was in her 2nd grade then, 55 00:03:02,659 --> 00:03:05,889 So I wanted to check the 3rd grade syllabus to help her with Arabic. 56 00:03:05,889 --> 00:03:08,999 I went through the 3rd grade Arabic book, 57 00:03:08,999 --> 00:03:12,239 the second lesson was about television 58 00:03:12,239 --> 00:03:19,589 and how it's the newest human invention, and that it's a wonder box and whatnot. 59 00:03:19,589 --> 00:03:22,529 It has nothing to do with words and letters. 60 00:03:22,529 --> 00:03:25,909 The ideas taught in English and those taught in Arabic were different. 61 00:03:25,909 --> 00:03:29,759 No matter how much I stress to her the importance of knowing Arabic, 62 00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:32,519 if all she learns in Arabic at school is how cool TV is, 63 00:03:32,519 --> 00:03:37,759 while she learns about citizenship, rights, and freedoms in English, 64 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,631 then it's a moot point. 65 00:03:41,631 --> 00:03:43,921 So this kind of stuff made me more hesitant. 66 00:03:43,921 --> 00:03:47,601 ٍSomething else happened in her third year of elementary school, 67 00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:50,111 We travelled to Europe. 68 00:03:50,111 --> 00:03:53,031 At France I took her to Disneyland. 69 00:03:53,031 --> 00:03:55,971 She was as excited as she would get 70 00:03:56,007 --> 00:04:00,007 while watching a cartoon in her room. 71 00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:03,880 I was very disappointed. 72 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,210 When we got back, I began to think: 73 00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:09,500 On what grounds do I think this is good for children? 74 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:13,500 Is this what I wanna give to my daughter? Is it gonna make her happy? 75 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,204 So I began to talk to people. 76 00:04:15,204 --> 00:04:18,114 There were two people who I met around the same time. 77 00:04:18,114 --> 00:04:22,424 An Egyptian who's really interested in education and child rearing, 78 00:04:22,424 --> 00:04:27,214 and an American who was into knowing the purpose of life. 79 00:04:27,214 --> 00:04:31,214 They both are among my closest friends now. 80 00:04:31,214 --> 00:04:34,054 So I was talking to them both, and they asked me questions. 81 00:04:34,054 --> 00:04:37,494 One of them interested in Maria, and the other interested in me. 82 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,464 I asked the one interested in Maria: What should I teach her? 83 00:04:40,464 --> 00:04:46,124 And he replied: to become what? And what is your role in her life? 84 00:04:46,124 --> 00:04:49,724 Whereas my American friend asked me: 85 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:54,124 "What should you do in life to feel that you're living right? 86 00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:58,124 What would make you say that you lived properly when you're about to die?" 87 00:04:58,124 --> 00:05:02,124 When I began to think of answers to their questions, 88 00:05:02,124 --> 00:05:06,124 and having them both around during the same time in my life 89 00:05:06,124 --> 00:05:10,124 made me realize that Maria's education isn't just the books she'll study, 90 00:05:10,124 --> 00:05:14,244 it's also the way of life and the values I wanna have, 91 00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:17,057 and that she'll witness in me. 92 00:05:17,057 --> 00:05:20,347 Which will lead her to having her own values, 93 00:05:20,347 --> 00:05:22,987 and her own way of life. 94 00:05:22,987 --> 00:05:27,227 It was the first time I realize that child rearing and education 95 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,457 truly go hand in hand, 96 00:05:29,457 --> 00:05:31,317 and that it's not just an empty phrase. 97 00:05:31,317 --> 00:05:34,017 The way we choose to educate our children, 98 00:05:34,027 --> 00:05:36,527 their environment and their teachers 99 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:39,427 are all parts of their upbringing. 100 00:05:39,427 --> 00:05:46,407 I need to mention something else that happened, since Maria talked about it. 101 00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:49,327 I used to go to the city of St. Catherine alone a lot. 102 00:05:49,347 --> 00:05:51,827 Maria never came with me. 103 00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:54,397 I began to wanna be there more often; 104 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,937 I wanted to have a house there. 105 00:05:56,937 --> 00:05:59,447 I started having less work which was a good thing, 106 00:05:59,447 --> 00:06:02,237 so I wanted to spend some of my time there. 107 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,107 But I couldn't do it. 108 00:06:04,127 --> 00:06:07,207 I couldn't move a part of our life there without asking Maria. 109 00:06:07,207 --> 00:06:09,667 So one time I took her along. 110 00:06:09,677 --> 00:06:11,977 And on our way, all I could think about was how 111 00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:14,197 she wasn't happy at all at Disneyland, 112 00:06:14,197 --> 00:06:17,767 Why would she like St. Catherine? There's nothing there to begin with. 113 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:20,837 But from the moment she stepped out of the car, 114 00:06:20,837 --> 00:06:22,557 I couldn't keep up with her. 115 00:06:23,207 --> 00:06:27,597 She played, sprinted, chased animals, and climbed up huge rocks. 116 00:06:27,617 --> 00:06:30,657 She was all like: "Mom, I wanna climb that mountain!" 117 00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:34,447 ِِAnd of course she sat with the Bedouins and learned a lot from them. 118 00:06:34,447 --> 00:06:39,117 I noticed that in only two days, she had learned different things about herbs, 119 00:06:39,229 --> 00:06:40,499 mountains, 120 00:06:40,669 --> 00:06:44,769 how to find water in the mountains, how to navigate by the stars, 121 00:06:44,769 --> 00:06:46,289 how to make Bedouin dishes, and 122 00:06:46,289 --> 00:06:49,599 how to distinguish between mountains, hills, plateaus, and valleys. 123 00:06:49,599 --> 00:06:52,029 She learned all these things by experiencing them. 124 00:06:52,029 --> 00:06:55,519 Before that, whenever she had a school project 125 00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:59,149 that involved making mountains or islands from clay and paper, 126 00:06:59,149 --> 00:07:01,779 I saw her as an engineer going to school with a maquette 127 00:07:01,779 --> 00:07:05,179 I thought that she was the earliest invention, like TV. 128 00:07:06,079 --> 00:07:07,819 I was so happy. 129 00:07:08,288 --> 00:07:11,289 When she saw those things with her own eyes 130 00:07:11,289 --> 00:07:17,218 I, myself, understood that mountains and camels aren't just words in a book, 131 00:07:17,252 --> 00:07:19,900 and that they can't be just that. 132 00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:22,385 When we returned from St. Catherine, I asked her 133 00:07:22,385 --> 00:07:29,170 "Maria, what do you think about leaving school and learning in a new way?" 134 00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:30,978 She agreed. 135 00:07:30,978 --> 00:07:35,088 I was surprised that she agreed quickly because she loved her school a lot. 136 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,639 She agreed, only to try it out and see what it's like. 137 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:41,079 Then we told her dad, and he agreed. 138 00:07:41,079 --> 00:07:44,471 He also wanted to try it out just to see what happens. 139 00:07:44,483 --> 00:07:46,322 So off we went! 140 00:07:46,414 --> 00:07:49,050 The first thing we did was research. 141 00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:53,221 We searched for everyone who thought about this too. 142 00:07:53,221 --> 00:07:56,213 We discovered a treasure of initiatives 143 00:07:56,388 --> 00:08:02,704 and people who teach their kids in a non-traditional way. 144 00:08:02,704 --> 00:08:04,395 And this made a big difference. 145 00:08:04,395 --> 00:08:07,590 I discovered groups of women who homeschool their children 146 00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:10,151 and educate them outside of school. 147 00:08:10,151 --> 00:08:15,766 For a whole year, we did nothing but go out and meet new people, 148 00:08:15,766 --> 00:08:17,719 travel, and discover. 149 00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:21,975 We met many people who truly believe in what they're doing that year. 150 00:08:21,975 --> 00:08:23,678 For example, Maria met people 151 00:08:23,678 --> 00:08:26,297 who talked to her about Arabic music. 152 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:29,275 They actually played and loved it. 153 00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:32,147 She saw Arab architecture and Arab calligraphy. 154 00:08:32,147 --> 00:08:35,937 When she saw these things presented by people really passionate about them, 155 00:08:35,937 --> 00:08:39,115 it really impacted her feelings towards her native Arab culture. 156 00:08:39,224 --> 00:08:42,842 We went on many trips within Egypt and abroad. 157 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,785 But, our travels were different this time. 158 00:08:45,821 --> 00:08:49,459 We traveled for the sake of learning. 159 00:08:49,459 --> 00:08:52,837 Maria started to encounter everything in this way. 160 00:08:52,837 --> 00:08:57,321 We met many people, among them was a Nubian man. 161 00:08:57,321 --> 00:09:02,027 He walked around with an article in his wallet that discussed many famous people 162 00:09:02,114 --> 00:09:04,105 that came from the south of Egypt. 163 00:09:04,338 --> 00:09:08,838 The article was ripped from the sheer amount of times he showed it to people. 164 00:09:08,996 --> 00:09:13,403 It went from Moses to the day it was written. 165 00:09:13,454 --> 00:09:16,633 And she learned a lot from the Bedouin about their lifestyle, 166 00:09:16,633 --> 00:09:19,615 their heritage and stories. 167 00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:21,757 It was an important lesson 168 00:09:21,757 --> 00:09:23,609 that taught us things like 169 00:09:23,609 --> 00:09:25,734 how the wisdom of our anscetors 170 00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:28,665 is important in the education process. 171 00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:31,186 It was very useful for us, thanks be to God. 172 00:09:31,186 --> 00:09:35,325 She started to appreciate visits to her grandparents. 173 00:09:35,335 --> 00:09:38,477 She would sit with them and feel like she's actually learning. 174 00:09:38,557 --> 00:09:42,640 The only thing that was left to tackle is academics. 175 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:47,360 So we registered her in an American school 176 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,638 that specializes in homeschooled children. 177 00:09:50,638 --> 00:09:57,044 Their curriculum is great, their classes aren't more than two hours a day, 178 00:09:57,044 --> 00:10:00,671 it has great teachers that help Maria, 179 00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:07,125 And there are groups that help with nurturing the child's character. 180 00:10:07,125 --> 00:10:12,935 And these are the things I think make a difference in this age. 181 00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:16,648 We met great people, thankfully. 182 00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:21,935 So far, two years have passed since we tried homeschooling. 183 00:10:22,019 --> 00:10:26,246 If I were to pick three things to share with you all, 184 00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:32,003 the first would be that one day Maria came to my office, and she met my boss, Diana. 185 00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:34,943 We're close friends, so she asked Maria how she felt. 186 00:10:34,943 --> 00:10:37,675 She said, "I feel free". 187 00:10:37,675 --> 00:10:41,003 Maybe that we because she didn't have to wake up at a specific time 188 00:10:41,003 --> 00:10:42,063 or wear a uniform. 189 00:10:42,107 --> 00:10:44,521 (Laughter and Applause) 190 00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:48,967 So I thought, maybe because she doesn't have to follow a routine. 191 00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,897 but the real reason is deeper than that. 192 00:10:50,897 --> 00:10:53,883 What she meant is that if she were to buy a pet, 193 00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:55,773 it doesn't have to be a cat or a dog, 194 00:10:55,827 --> 00:10:57,514 Why wouldn't it be a camel? 195 00:10:57,514 --> 00:11:00,874 The idea of getting from the narrowness of the available 196 00:11:00,913 --> 00:11:03,546 to the expanse of the possible is very important. 197 00:11:03,685 --> 00:11:07,058 people don't always have to think of what's available, 198 00:11:07,058 --> 00:11:08,751 but also in what they need. 199 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:12,476 They could make something different, that's what we truly wanted. 200 00:11:12,476 --> 00:11:14,750 The second thing that made a difference for us, 201 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,764 and I must say us because I felt I learned along with her, 202 00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:19,990 was seeking knowledge. 203 00:11:20,145 --> 00:11:23,280 I don't know when knowledge became imposed, 204 00:11:23,287 --> 00:11:26,930 or had a certain time, from this till that hour, 205 00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:28,650 or had a certain season: 206 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:31,821 we study in the winter, then forget everything by the summer, 207 00:11:31,888 --> 00:11:34,286 and only in certain places. 208 00:11:34,286 --> 00:11:37,390 But for us, knowledge became something required 209 00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:38,876 and continuous. 210 00:11:38,876 --> 00:11:42,595 From a thought brought up in conversation with grandma, 211 00:11:42,595 --> 00:11:47,303 till going to an educational institution to learn more. 212 00:11:47,303 --> 00:11:53,407 But, this only happens to people who seek knowledge. 213 00:11:53,407 --> 00:11:56,455 The third thing is exploration. 214 00:11:56,455 --> 00:12:03,520 Which is important. We didn't only explore our surroundings in our journey 215 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:09,404 Maria also discovered her priorities when it comes to learning, 216 00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:10,803 how she wants to learn. 217 00:12:10,803 --> 00:12:15,088 For example, She likes theater and field trips the most. 218 00:12:15,088 --> 00:12:18,463 But we also met people, and this is an important point. 219 00:12:18,463 --> 00:12:21,324 We also discovered our reactions to other people's reactions. 220 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:26,224 For example, in a gathering, someone heard that Maria doesn't learn at school. 221 00:12:26,224 --> 00:12:30,254 That person had his education abroad, 222 00:12:30,254 --> 00:12:33,135 and got the finest certifications. 223 00:12:33,135 --> 00:12:37,986 After hearing about Maria, he stood up and left. 224 00:12:37,986 --> 00:12:42,805 He was completely against what we do in our own lives. 225 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:46,922 On the opposite end of the spectrum was the mom of Maria's friend. 226 00:12:46,922 --> 00:12:49,720 She lives in another province, not in Cairo. 227 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,928 One morning she came to Cairo to see me, 228 00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:55,573 and said, "Of course you can't bring Maria, 229 00:12:55,573 --> 00:12:57,269 because she's at school." 230 00:12:57,269 --> 00:12:59,546 I told her that she actually wasn't. 231 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,846 So she asked, "Where is she then?" 232 00:13:01,866 --> 00:13:04,061 I told her she was at a herbs shop. 233 00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:07,153 She asked, "Are you going to leave her there until we're done?" 234 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,270 So I said, "No, actually, she works there." 235 00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:11,583 Before I could finish, she said 236 00:13:12,452 --> 00:13:15,827 (Applause) 237 00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:18,422 Before I could finish, she said: 238 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:21,799 "Did you take your daughter out of school to work at a herbs shop?!" 239 00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:24,618 and "Okay, good luck!." right after. 240 00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:26,714 I truly thought she respected our decision. 241 00:13:26,796 --> 00:13:30,739 The point is to be in control in spite of judgments and stereotypes. 242 00:13:30,839 --> 00:13:33,164 Forget other people's perceptions. 243 00:13:33,164 --> 00:13:38,360 However, the most important discovery of all, 244 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,994 or the thing I hope my daughter understands, 245 00:13:41,008 --> 00:13:42,550 and I hope we all do too, 246 00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:45,748 is discovering what you truly want and need. 247 00:13:45,748 --> 00:13:50,088 If Maria got nothing else from all these experiences 248 00:13:50,088 --> 00:13:53,352 other than being able to follow her heart, amidst 249 00:13:53,398 --> 00:13:55,413 the hustle and bustle of life, 250 00:13:55,413 --> 00:14:00,359 and did what she feels responsible for, what she feels right, 251 00:14:00,394 --> 00:14:04,705 then I would be the happiest person in the world. 252 00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:09,579 (Applause) 253 00:14:09,579 --> 00:14:12,613 The only thing that I'd like to say is, 254 00:14:12,613 --> 00:14:16,630 when they told me about this TEDx talk, I told Maria, 255 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:19,416 and she gave me one piece of advice: 256 00:14:19,466 --> 00:14:25,297 Don't encourage others to drop out of school and go do something else. 257 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:28,297 Just let them know that they have more options. 258 00:14:28,297 --> 00:14:30,297 and that anything is possible. 259 00:14:30,297 --> 00:14:31,317 (Applause) 260 00:14:31,317 --> 00:14:32,987 Thank you very much!