On the first day of 2011,
Maria turned four years old.
That day, many people were asking me
Why didn't you put her in school yet?
Which school will she go to? Which school system will you pick for her?
I noticed that many people wanted to know as it's an important parenting decision.
I went to a friend who's experienced in this area,
and asked her for advice to help me choose.
She said: there is no perfect school,
sort out your priorities,
and take your daughter to the first school
that meets your top three.
But you're late! The earlier she's done with school the better,
take her to KG2 directly.
I said okay.
I kept thinking, what do people think of when they pick schools?
I found that, of course, they think about academics,
an environment that suits them, and also about some logistics;
like the costs of the school, and how far it is from home.. stuff like that.
So that's what I did, I picked a school, it was fun,
we stayed there for three years.
Of course, she went to KG2 directly as my friend had suggested.
Then, after these 3 years,
I started thinking about the criteria of my choice.
The logistics were good, very acceptable.
The school was a bit far, so we moved closer to it
and lived in the same street,
because a school is something we have to be linked to forever.
In terms of environment, the school was great too, but I noticed some things.
When look for a school, and I mean a great one,
the choice usually has many parts to it, and I need to accept them all.
One of the things I noticed in the school we picked for Maria
Is that boys are a bit spoiled.
It's obvious sometimes.
For example, the students were allowed to be a little violent,
especially if they were boys. We sometimes hear people say:
"Boys will be boys", as though it is completely acceptable
for boys to be violent to each other.
Some things that had to do with spoiling were ignored,
there was a bit of affectation or pretension among the kids,
who has or does what,
so we started to do things to talk about it rather than to experience it.
Those things had me thinking.
Academically, the school was really good.
Before school, I didn't speak in English with Maria at all,
however, after she went to school and began to learn,
-and thankfully she's an A+ student,
which means she's doing great-
I noticed that whenever she would have to say something important
she would quickly switch to English.
She speaks in Arabic normally,
but as soon as she gets serious, she switches to English.
So I put my foot down, she needs to have stronger Arabic.
She was in her 2nd grade then,
So I wanted to check the 3rd grade syllabus to help her with Arabic.
I went through the 3rd grade Arabic book,
the second lesson was about television
and how it's the newest human invention, and that it's a wonder box and whatnot.
It has nothing to do with words and letters.
The ideas taught in English and those taught in Arabic were different.
No matter how much I stress to her the importance of knowing Arabic,
if all she learns in Arabic at school is how cool TV is,
while she learns about citizenship, rights, and freedoms in English,
then it's a moot point.
So this kind of stuff made me more hesitant.
ٍSomething else happened in her third year of elementary school,
We travelled to Europe.
At France I took her to Disneyland.
She was as excited as she would get
while watching a cartoon in her room.
I was very disappointed.
When we got back, I began to think:
On what grounds do I think this is good for children?
Is this what I wanna give to my daughter? Is it gonna make her happy?
So I began to talk to people.
There were two people who I met around the same time.
An Egyptian who's really interested in education and child rearing,
and an American who was into knowing the purpose of life.
They both are among my closest friends now.
So I was talking to them both, and they asked me questions.
One of them interested in Maria, and the other interested in me.
I asked the one interested in Maria: What should I teach her?
And he replied: to become what? And what is your role in her life?
Whereas my American friend asked me:
"What should you do in life to feel that you're living right?
What would make you say that you lived properly when you're about to die?"
When I began to think of answers to their questions,
and having them both around during the same time in my life
made me realize that Maria's education isn't just the books she'll study,
it's also the way of life and the values I wanna have,
and that she'll witness in me.
Which will lead her to having her own values,
and her own way of life.
It was the first time I realize that child rearing and education
truly go hand in hand,
and that it's not just an empty phrase.
The way we choose to educate our children,
their environment and their teachers
are all parts of their upbringing.
I need to mention something else that happened, since Maria talked about it.
I used to go to the city of St. Catherine alone a lot.
Maria never came with me.
I began to wanna be there more often;
I wanted to have a house there.
I started having less work which was a good thing,
so I wanted to spend some of my time there.
But I couldn't do it.
I couldn't move a part of our life there without asking Maria.
So one time I took her along.
And on our way, all I could think about was how
she wasn't happy at all at Disneyland,
Why would she like St. Catherine? There's nothing there to begin with.
But from the moment she stepped out of the car,
I couldn't keep up with her.
She played, sprinted, chased animals, and climbed up huge rocks.
She was all like: "Mom, I wanna climb that mountain!"
ِِAnd of course she sat with the Bedouins and learned a lot from them.
I noticed that in only two days, she had learned different things about herbs,
mountains,
how to find water in the mountains, how to navigate by the stars,
how to make Bedouin dishes, and
how to distinguish between mountains, hills, plateaus, and valleys.
She learned all these things by experiencing them.
Before that, whenever she had a school project
that involved making mountains or islands from clay and paper,
I saw her as an engineer going to school with a maquette
I thought that she was the earliest invention, like TV.
I was so happy.
When she saw those things with her own eyes
I, myself, understood that mountains and camels aren't just words in a book,
and that they can't be just that.
When we returned from St. Catherine, I asked her
"Maria, what do you think about leaving school and learning in a new way?"
She agreed.
I was surprised that she agreed quickly because she loved her school a lot.
She agreed, only to try it out and see what it's like.
Then we told her dad, and he agreed.
He also wanted to try it out just to see what happens.
So off we went!
The first thing we did was research.
We searched for everyone who thought about this too.
We discovered a treasure of initiatives
and people who teach their kids in a non-traditional way.
And this made a big difference.
I discovered groups of women who homeschool their children
and educate them outside of school.
For a whole year, we did nothing but go out and meet new people,
travel, and discover.
We met many people who truly believe in what they're doing that year.
For example, Maria met people
who talked to her about Arabic music.
They actually played and loved it.
She saw Arab architecture and Arab calligraphy.
When she saw these things presented by people really passionate about them,
it really impacted her feelings towards her native Arab culture.
We went on many trips within Egypt and abroad.
But, our travels were different this time.
We traveled for the sake of learning.
Maria started to encounter everything in this way.
We met many people, among them was a Nubian man.
He walked around with an article in his wallet that discussed many famous people
that came from the south of Egypt.
The article was ripped from the sheer amount of times he showed it to people.
It went from Moses to the day it was written.
And she learned a lot from the Bedouin about their lifestyle,
their heritage and stories.
It was an important lesson
that taught us things like
how the wisdom of our anscetors
is important in the education process.
It was very useful for us, thanks be to God.
She started to appreciate visits to her grandparents.
She would sit with them and feel like she's actually learning.
The only thing that was left to tackle is academics.
So we registered her in an American school
that specializes in homeschooled children.
Their curriculum is great, their classes aren't more than two hours a day,
it has great teachers that help Maria,
And there are groups that help with nurturing the child's character.
And these are the things I think make a difference in this age.
We met great people, thankfully.
So far, two years have passed since we tried homeschooling.
If I were to pick three things to share with you all,
the first would be that one day Maria came to my office, and she met my boss, Diana.
We're close friends, so she asked Maria how she felt.
She said, "I feel free".
Maybe that we because she didn't have to wake up at a specific time
or wear a uniform.
(Laughter and Applause)
So I thought, maybe because she doesn't have to follow a routine.
but the real reason is deeper than that.
What she meant is that if she were to buy a pet,
it doesn't have to be a cat or a dog,
Why wouldn't it be a camel?
The idea of getting from the narrowness of the available
to the expanse of the possible is very important.
people don't always have to think of what's available,
but also in what they need.
They could make something different, that's what we truly wanted.
The second thing that made a difference for us,
and I must say us because I felt I learned along with her,
was seeking knowledge.
I don't know when knowledge became imposed,
or had a certain time, from this till that hour,
or had a certain season:
we study in the winter, then forget everything by the summer,
and only in certain places.
But for us, knowledge became something required
and continuous.
From a thought brought up in conversation with grandma,
till going to an educational institution to learn more.
But, this only happens to people who seek knowledge.
The third thing is exploration.
Which is important. We didn't only explore our surroundings in our journey
Maria also discovered her priorities when it comes to learning,
how she wants to learn.
For example, She likes theater and field trips the most.
But we also met people, and this is an important point.
We also discovered our reactions to other people's reactions.
For example, in a gathering, someone heard that Maria doesn't learn at school.
That person had his education abroad,
and got the finest certifications.
After hearing about Maria, he stood up and left.
He was completely against what we do in our own lives.
On the opposite end of the spectrum was the mom of Maria's friend.
She lives in another province, not in Cairo.
One morning she came to Cairo to see me,
and said, "Of course you can't bring Maria,
because she's at school."
I told her that she actually wasn't.
So she asked, "Where is she then?"
I told her she was at a herbs shop.
She asked, "Are you going to leave her there until we're done?"
So I said, "No, actually, she works there."
Before I could finish, she said
(Applause)
Before I could finish, she said:
"Did you take your daughter out of school to work at a herbs shop?!"
and "Okay, good luck!." right after.
I truly thought she respected our decision.
The point is to be in control in spite of judgments and stereotypes.
Forget other people's perceptions.
However, the most important discovery of all,
or the thing I hope my daughter understands,
and I hope we all do too,
is discovering what you truly want and need.
If Maria got nothing else from all these experiences
other than being able to follow her heart, amidst
the hustle and bustle of life,
and did what she feels responsible for, what she feels right,
then I would be the happiest person in the world.
(Applause)
The only thing that I'd like to say is,
when they told me about this TEDx talk, I told Maria,
and she gave me one piece of advice:
Don't encourage others to drop out of school and go do something else.
Just let them know that they have more options.
and that anything is possible.
(Applause)
Thank you very much!