WEBVTT 00:00:02.362 --> 00:00:04.830 Alright, here's another pack of 00:00:04.830 --> 00:00:06.528 low grade morons who ought to be 00:00:06.528 --> 00:00:09.168 locked into portable toilets and set on fire. 00:00:10.897 --> 00:00:12.800 These people with bumper stickers that say, 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:14.737 "We are the proud parents of an 00:00:14.737 --> 00:00:20.209 honor student at the Franklin school." 00:00:21.649 --> 00:00:24.832 Ya know, for the Midvale academy or 00:00:24.832 --> 00:00:27.015 whatever innocent sounding name has 00:00:27.015 --> 00:00:28.774 been assigned to the indoctrination center 00:00:28.774 --> 00:00:30.756 where their child has been sent to be stripped 00:00:30.756 --> 00:00:32.863 of his individuality and turned into an obedient 00:00:32.863 --> 00:00:35.141 dead soul conformist member of the American 00:00:35.141 --> 00:00:37.373 consumer culture. 00:00:43.421 --> 00:00:45.490 Proud parents, what kind of empty people 00:00:45.490 --> 00:00:47.081 need to validate themselves through the 00:00:47.081 --> 00:00:49.345 achievements of their children? 00:00:49.345 --> 00:00:50.529 How would you like to live with a couple 00:00:50.529 --> 00:00:52.623 of these misfits. 00:00:52.623 --> 00:00:54.474 "How's that science project coming along Justin?" 00:00:54.474 --> 00:00:58.422 "Fuck you dad. 00:00:58.422 --> 00:01:01.421 You simple minded prick. 00:01:01.421 --> 00:01:04.773 Mind your own buisiness and pass me the Cheerios." 00:01:04.773 --> 00:01:06.817 Here's a bumber stick I'd like to see. 00:01:06.817 --> 00:01:08.472 "We are the proud parents of a child 00:01:08.472 --> 00:01:10.418 whos self esteem is sufficient that he 00:01:10.418 --> 00:01:12.469 doesn't need us promoting his minor 00:01:12.469 --> 00:01:15.784 scholastic achievements on the back of our car." 00:01:15.784 --> 00:01:17.624 That would really feel good. 00:01:22.507 --> 00:01:24.817 Or,"We are the proud parents of a child 00:01:24.817 --> 00:01:27.544 who has resisted his teachers attempts to break his spirit 00:01:27.544 --> 00:01:30.757 and bend him to the will of his corporate masters." 00:01:30.757 --> 00:01:33.658 Just be a nice little change ya know? 00:01:33.658 --> 00:01:35.488 Here's something realistic,"We have a 00:01:35.488 --> 00:01:37.247 daughter in public schools that hasn't been 00:01:37.247 --> 00:01:39.338 knocked up yet." 00:01:42.877 --> 00:01:44.475 "We have a son in public schools that hasn't 00:01:44.475 --> 00:01:47.185 shot any of his classmates yet. But he 00:01:47.185 --> 00:01:51.848 does sell drugs to your honor students. 00:01:55.034 --> 00:01:57.764 Plus he knocked up your daughter." 00:01:58.494 --> 00:02:00.053 Then there are the people who aren't 00:02:00.053 --> 00:02:01.321 too proud of their children. 00:02:01.321 --> 00:02:02.676 "We are the embarrased parents of a 00:02:02.676 --> 00:02:05.377 cross eyed little knit whit who at the age 00:02:05.377 --> 00:02:07.252 of 10 not only continues to wet the bed 00:02:07.252 --> 00:02:10.806 but also shits on the school bus." 00:02:10.806 --> 00:02:12.300 Something like that on the back of a car 00:02:12.300 --> 00:02:14.343 might give the child a little more incentive. 00:02:14.343 --> 00:02:15.676 Ya know? 00:02:15.676 --> 00:02:17.402 Get him to try a little harder next semester. 00:02:17.402 --> 00:02:19.023 Captioned by Danyoul