WEBVTT 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 00:01:07.511 --> 00:01:09.138 I'm gonna tell my Bernard of you!! 00:01:09.722 --> 00:01:11.181 You fuckin' dead! 00:01:49.847 --> 00:01:53.142 Oi! Come back 'ere, you! 00:01:54.060 --> 00:01:55.186 Ronnie ! 00:01:55.937 --> 00:01:58.689 Geroff that couch and come out 'ere! 00:04:32.308 --> 00:04:35.103 Oh, shit! Sorry, I didn't see you there. 00:04:36.479 --> 00:04:37.564 Do you live 'ere? 00:04:37.772 --> 00:04:39.858 Yeah, I do unfortunately. 00:04:40.358 --> 00:04:41.943 Do you know Louise Clancy ? 00:04:42.152 --> 00:04:44.029 Yeah. Are you friend of hers? 00:04:44.321 --> 00:04:45.488 Know where she is? 00:04:45.906 --> 00:04:47.157 She's at work 00:04:48.825 --> 00:04:50.202 What time does she get back? 00:04:50.369 --> 00:04:52.371 Dunno. About seven or something 00:04:52.579 --> 00:04:53.956 Fuckin' hell ! 00:04:59.003 --> 00:05:00.671 D'you wanna come in for a cuppa tea? 00:05:03.174 --> 00:05:04.425 Is it alright with you, love? 00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:06.761 It's just, you know, cold 00:05:07.219 --> 00:05:09.263 Listen, have you got anything for a headache? 00:05:10.097 --> 00:05:11.766 Ah, yeah, we 'ave as it 'appens 00:05:11.849 --> 00:05:13.851 You know, like a monkey-wrench or somethin' 00:05:15.562 --> 00:05:16.855 What's all this about? 00:05:17.564 --> 00:05:19.065 Oh yeah, that's Sandra, that is 00:05:19.649 --> 00:05:20.859 Hallo, Sandra. 00:05:21.693 --> 00:05:23.028 This is 'er place 00:05:23.111 --> 00:05:24.821 She's a fuckin' nurse 00:05:24.905 --> 00:05:27.324 That's 'er idea of interior design 00:05:27.824 --> 00:05:29.201 Oh yeah - it's a skeletion 00:05:29.493 --> 00:05:31.620 And this is 'er cocktail cabinet, an' all 00:05:33.080 --> 00:05:35.082 There you go, that should do it 00:05:35.582 --> 00:05:36.792 No, it's too big 00:05:39.086 --> 00:05:40.254 D'you want a cuppa tea? 00:05:42.131 --> 00:05:44.425 So are you Louise's boyfriend? 00:05:45.051 --> 00:05:45.885 No. 00:05:47.637 --> 00:05:48.805 Oh, right. What, you're just like a mate? 00:05:49.180 --> 00:05:50.181 Primate 00:05:50.306 --> 00:05:52.016 You must be the missing link then 00:05:52.225 --> 00:05:53.685 Yeah, that's me 00:05:55.186 --> 00:05:56.771 You're not gonna tell me your name? 00:05:57.021 --> 00:05:57.939 No. 00:05:58.690 --> 00:05:59.941 I'm not gonna tell you mine neither 00:06:00.275 --> 00:06:01.610 All right, we'll be strangers 00:06:03.236 --> 00:06:06.531 - I see your boomerang came back then, love - It's not my fuckin' boomerang 00:06:06.698 --> 00:06:09.117 What about the old diminishing pachyderm formation there? 00:06:09.243 --> 00:06:11.703 No, that's all Sandra's collection 00:06:11.787 --> 00:06:13.163 She's in Zimbabwe at the moment. 00:06:14.206 --> 00:06:17.042 And fuck knows what she's gonna bring back from there 00:06:17.293 --> 00:06:19.545 Pellagra or hepatitis B or something. 00:06:19.920 --> 00:06:21.714 She's with her boyfriend 00:06:30.932 --> 00:06:32.392 So how is Louise? 00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:36.438 I dunno. I don't know 'er as well as you. 00:06:36.688 --> 00:06:37.605 D'you get on with 'er? 00:06:37.856 --> 00:06:39.816 We've been out a couple o' times. 00:06:40.817 --> 00:06:41.860 Does she like you? 00:06:42.486 --> 00:06:44.154 I dunno - you'd better ask 'er. 00:06:45.614 --> 00:06:47.407 Most people don't. 00:06:47.658 --> 00:06:49.743 Do you find she's at all jealous of you? 00:06:59.295 --> 00:07:02.423 So, I dunno, would you describe yourself as a happy little person? 00:07:03.132 --> 00:07:05.218 Yeah, I'm the life and soul 00:07:08.346 --> 00:07:09.347 Have you ever thought, right 00:07:09.430 --> 00:07:10.765 I mean, you don't know, 00:07:10.848 --> 00:07:12.517 but you may already 'ave had 00:07:12.600 --> 00:07:15.103 the happiest moment in your whole fuckin' life 00:07:15.228 --> 00:07:17.647 and all you've got to look forward to is sickness 00:07:17.689 --> 00:07:18.940 and purgatory? 00:07:20.942 --> 00:07:22.110 Oh, shit! 00:07:23.695 --> 00:07:27.741 Well, I just live from day to day, meself. 00:07:28.200 --> 00:07:30.244 I tend to skip a day now and again - you know what I mean? 00:07:30.828 --> 00:07:31.912 I used to be a werewolf, 00:07:32.037 --> 00:07:35.124 - But I'm all right noowwww!! - Oh, fuckin' 'ell !! 00:07:36.333 --> 00:07:37.960 I bet they're 'appy, eh? 00:07:38.044 --> 00:07:41.214 All they gotta do is sit round, howlin' at the moon. 00:07:41.297 --> 00:07:44.112 It's better than standin' on the cheesy fuckin' thing. Know what I mean? 00:07:44.675 --> 00:07:47.220 I mean, tossin' all these satellites and shuttles out into the cosmos - 00:07:47.303 --> 00:07:49.973 what do they think they're gonna find up there that they can't find down 'ere? 00:07:50.223 --> 00:07:51.516 They think if they piss high enough, 00:07:51.599 --> 00:07:54.769 they're gonna come across the monkey with the beard and the crap ideas, 00:07:54.894 --> 00:07:57.230 and it's like, 'Oh! There you are Captain! 00:07:57.856 --> 00:08:00.692 I mean , are you busy, because I've got a few fundamental questions for you!' 00:08:01.443 --> 00:08:02.486 Are you with me? 00:08:03.195 --> 00:08:07.491 Yeah, 'cos let's face it, right, what are rockets? 00:08:07.699 --> 00:08:10.703 I mean, they're just , big metal pricks! 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:15.291 You know, I mean, the bastards aren't satisfied with fuckin' the earth up - 00:08:15.374 --> 00:08:17.877 they've gotta fuck space an' all. 00:08:18.002 --> 00:08:19.170 Will you tell me something, love? 00:08:21.005 --> 00:08:25.051 Are you aware of the effect you have on the average 00:08:25.343 --> 00:08:27.387 mammalian, Mancunian, 00:08:27.512 --> 00:08:31.224 X-Y-ly-chromosome, slavering, lusty male member 00:08:31.307 --> 00:08:32.517 of the species? 00:08:34.060 --> 00:08:36.688 - Yeah - I thought so. 00:08:51.036 --> 00:08:52.913 Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? 00:08:53.372 --> 00:08:54.290 No ! 00:08:55.541 --> 00:08:57.793 Do you think women like being raped? 00:08:58.461 --> 00:08:59.629 You talk a lot, don't you? 00:09:01.130 --> 00:09:02.840 Do you like japanese food? 00:09:03.383 --> 00:09:04.926 Look, I've told you - I'm not interested. 00:09:05.343 --> 00:09:06.135 All right? 00:09:06.344 --> 00:09:07.762 Could I have that a touch harder, please? 00:09:32.288 --> 00:09:34.290 All right? Enjoyin' yourself, are you? 00:09:35.291 --> 00:09:37.418 I'm 'aving a great time, actually 00:09:43.508 --> 00:09:44.133 Bloody 'ell 00:09:44.592 --> 00:09:45.969 Oh, friendly! 00:09:46.594 --> 00:09:48.722 What are you doin' 'ere? You look like shit. 00:09:49.139 --> 00:09:50.390 Just trying to blend in 00:09:50.515 --> 00:09:51.683 with the surroundings 00:09:56.355 --> 00:09:58.023 Halitosis, halitosis, halitosis! 00:10:02.194 --> 00:10:03.195 Can't believe you're 'ere 00:10:03.696 --> 00:10:04.738 I'm not 'ere. 00:10:06.949 --> 00:10:09.326 I'll tell you what, it's a crackin' place you've got, love. 00:10:09.618 --> 00:10:10.619 Good. I'm glad you like it. 00:10:11.037 --> 00:10:12.705 No, I was been sarcastic. 00:10:13.831 --> 00:10:16.459 Why didn't you tell me you were comin'? I would a' met you off the train. 00:10:16.542 --> 00:10:17.794 I didn't come on the fuckin' train. 00:10:17.919 --> 00:10:19.379 - Off the bus, then. - I didn't come on the bus either. 00:10:19.712 --> 00:10:21.005 So 'ow did you get 'ere then? 00:10:21.923 --> 00:10:25.802 Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang, 00:10:25.885 --> 00:10:27.178 and the bang expanded, 00:10:27.262 --> 00:10:31.475 energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, the fish to fowl, the fowl to frog, the frog to mammal 00:10:32.392 --> 00:10:33.977 the mammal to monkey, the monkey to man. 00:10:34.186 --> 00:10:35.187 Amo, amas, amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, 00:10:35.520 --> 00:10:40.317 ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday. 00:10:40.818 --> 00:10:41.902 I see you 'aven't changed. 00:10:42.069 --> 00:10:44.196 'e's a fuckin' genius, this geezer! 00:10:44.572 --> 00:10:46.615 I take it you've met my wicky-wacky friend Sophie? 00:10:48.784 --> 00:10:51.287 No, actually, we 'aven't been formally introduced, 'ave we, love? 00:10:51.495 --> 00:10:52.288 No, we've been sat 'ere in 00:10:52.413 --> 00:10:54.499 embarassin' silence all afternoon. 00:10:57.126 --> 00:10:58.670 So , 'ow are you? 00:10:58.795 --> 00:10:59.712 Peachy-creamy. 00:11:03.466 --> 00:11:05.719 Are you really? I'm very pleased. 00:11:07.220 --> 00:11:10.390 So how's, um, work? 00:11:10.682 --> 00:11:12.768 It's all right. 00:11:13.518 --> 00:11:14.686 Is it everything you hoped it would be? 00:11:16.438 --> 00:11:17.564 What did you hope it would be? 00:11:23.529 --> 00:11:25.072 I'm sorry - did you get that? 00:11:26.323 --> 00:11:27.950 It's everything she hoped it would be, 00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:30.077 but she doesn't fuckin' know what she hoped it would be! 00:11:30.494 --> 00:11:33.748 Oh, and by the way. Thank you for this! 00:11:33.831 --> 00:11:35.792 I mean, are you tekkin' the piss, 00:11:35.917 --> 00:11:36.960 or what? 00:11:38.711 --> 00:11:42.340 'So, Johnny... My address is' 00:11:47.804 --> 00:11:48.847 I'm touched. 00:11:52.893 --> 00:11:55.062 - Why 'ave you come? - Oh, can you tell from there? 00:11:57.648 --> 00:11:58.565 D'you want a cup o'tea? 00:11:58.857 --> 00:12:00.943 I'd love a cup o'tea. You're fuckin' 00:12:01.151 --> 00:12:02.486 generous, you cockerneys, aren't yer? 00:12:03.529 --> 00:12:04.363 Yeah. Ta. 00:12:37.648 --> 00:12:38.691 'ow's yer mam? 00:12:38.857 --> 00:12:40.776 Fine. 'ow's yours? Still pullin' pints? 00:12:41.193 --> 00:12:44.113 She's dead. She's still a good fuck, though. 00:12:46.449 --> 00:12:49.327 I mean the rates are a bit extortionate, but I do get a discount, what with being the son and everything. 00:12:50.453 --> 00:12:51.204 Apparently, right, you shouldn't stick 00:12:51.287 --> 00:12:53.081 anything up your cunt 00:12:53.164 --> 00:12:54.540 you can't put in your mouth. 00:12:55.458 --> 00:12:56.209 Give us that mug. 00:12:59.713 --> 00:13:01.423 Can I try your coat on, Johnny? 00:13:06.303 --> 00:13:08.138 So what you've been up to? 'ave you seen anybody? 00:13:08.263 --> 00:13:09.598 Have you seen anybody? 00:13:11.850 --> 00:13:14.269 Have you spoken to anybody from Manchester? 00:13:14.353 --> 00:13:16.146 Yeah, I've phoned June a couple o' times. 00:13:16.230 --> 00:13:18.148 And was June interested in what you had to say? 00:13:21.235 --> 00:13:24.530 Fuckin' hell. I've seen more life in an open grave. Come on!! 00:13:24.363 --> 00:13:27.366 - What? - What?! I mean, you don't not seem very pleased to see me. 00:13:27.450 --> 00:13:29.243 I am pleased to see you! 00:13:29.327 --> 00:13:32.080 Are you too good for us? Now you've got yourself a posh job in a big 'shitty'? 00:13:32.163 --> 00:13:33.039 I mean, me an''her 00:13:33.164 --> 00:13:35.125 - are on the fuckin' dole, aren't we? - Right! 00:13:35.333 --> 00:13:37.627 And you're a carrier girl - are you happy with that? Are you sure? 00:13:38.128 --> 00:13:39.296 I'm delighted 00:13:45.218 --> 00:13:46.678 D'you want some o' this, 00:13:47.304 --> 00:13:48.138 Johnny ? 00:13:49.473 --> 00:13:52.518 Fuckin' 'ell love, what're you trying to do to me? 00:13:58.566 --> 00:13:59.608 Right, well, 00:13:59.775 --> 00:14:01.902 I'm going up to me room. D'you want to see it, Johnny? 00:14:01.986 --> 00:14:02.695 Is it worth the bother? 00:14:02.945 --> 00:14:04.488 Is there anything worth seein'? 00:14:04.572 --> 00:14:07.325 Why don't you come and find out? It's not very far. 00:14:18.753 --> 00:14:19.921 I'm sorry about this. 00:14:34.436 --> 00:14:35.792 Move! Move! 00:14:43.905 --> 00:14:44.864 Where are you? 00:14:45.031 --> 00:14:46.282 I'm in 'ere. 00:14:49.577 --> 00:14:50.787 Oh, it's de-lovely. 00:14:51.746 --> 00:14:54.228 I see you've got a ceiling at the top with a floor on the lower level, 00:14:54.374 --> 00:14:56.084 and a wall at either side. 00:14:56.585 --> 00:14:59.171 And only a single bed. Sad, really 00:15:11.058 --> 00:15:12.643 You've got wonderful breasts 00:15:13.227 --> 00:15:14.478 Don't you mean tits? 00:15:14.812 --> 00:15:16.105 Are they both of the same size, 00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:17.857 or is one bigger than the other? 00:15:18.816 --> 00:15:20.818 I don't know. Do you want to weigh them? 00:15:22.612 --> 00:15:23.654 Is that a proposition? 00:15:23.905 --> 00:15:25.031 No, it's a threat. 00:15:34.291 --> 00:15:35.125 Are you rich? 00:15:37.210 --> 00:15:39.713 - Life is for enjoying. - What's about family, 00:15:40.130 --> 00:15:41.089 have you got any brothers or sisters? 00:15:41.381 --> 00:15:42.633 I try not to remember. 00:15:45.719 --> 00:15:46.637 You are sexually 00:15:46.845 --> 00:15:48.055 frustrated, aren't you? 00:15:49.306 --> 00:15:50.891 - What's funny? - Are you a feminist? 00:15:52.685 --> 00:15:54.812 - Do you like fucking? - Do you like wanking? 00:15:55.271 --> 00:15:56.314 Not on my own, no. 00:16:04.072 --> 00:16:06.950 That's a very ornithological mutilation you've got here, love. 00:16:07.158 --> 00:16:09.327 That's my tribal initiation 00:16:10.829 --> 00:16:11.705 It is really? 00:16:21.131 --> 00:16:22.466 That was fuckin' athletic, that was. 00:16:23.008 --> 00:16:24.218 I think I've ruptured my chakras. 00:16:26.637 --> 00:16:28.389 Is there an instruction manual for this garb? 00:16:28.931 --> 00:16:31.225 No, it's an intelligence test. 00:16:31.434 --> 00:16:33.894 Well what is this? A granny, a sheepshank, 00:16:34.020 --> 00:16:36.689 or the infamous round-turn and two half-hitches, 00:16:36.814 --> 00:16:38.775 as mentioned in the Book of Ezekiel? 00:16:38.941 --> 00:16:40.193 Have you finished? 00:16:40.526 --> 00:16:41.653 I've hardly fuckin' begun. 00:16:41.861 --> 00:16:46.199 It's just that I think I'm gonna get into difficulties when I read the hippy-shit up here, you know what I mean? 00:16:46.574 --> 00:16:49.119 Yeah, well, you've tried the stairs. 00:16:49.661 --> 00:16:51.288 I think we should take the escalator. 00:16:52.455 --> 00:16:55.250 Simple really. So's this. 00:16:56.501 --> 00:16:57.628 Oh. Thanks for the mammaries. 00:17:00.047 --> 00:17:01.173 Could you ask her to order me a taxi, 00:17:01.298 --> 00:17:02.257 please? 00:17:02.466 --> 00:17:03.550 This is terribly disappointing 00:17:04.343 --> 00:17:05.552 You don't like rejection, do you, 00:17:05.678 --> 00:17:07.805 - Jeremy? - Could we have a taxi, please? 00:17:08.138 --> 00:17:09.849 No problem, sir. 00:18:57.628 --> 00:18:59.380 It's really cozy, this. 00:19:02.842 --> 00:19:04.301 Will you let me come again, Jerry? 00:19:07.596 --> 00:19:09.098 You're dead handsome, you know. 00:19:13.811 --> 00:19:15.188 What work d'you do? 00:19:18.775 --> 00:19:20.568 I'm a dancer, actually. 00:19:23.488 --> 00:19:24.823 Do you want to know me name? 00:19:26.158 --> 00:19:27.284 It's Giselle. 00:19:30.329 --> 00:19:31.663 Are you married? 00:19:37.711 --> 00:19:38.671 Wha' ? 00:19:41.423 --> 00:19:42.466 Kiss me. 00:20:00.735 --> 00:20:04.030 Don't, it's yucky! Get it off! 00:20:09.077 --> 00:20:10.287 Are you glad I came? 00:20:12.206 --> 00:20:13.874 What are you doin'? Get off me!! 00:20:18.879 --> 00:20:20.214 You're hurting me! 00:20:20.798 --> 00:20:22.007 Have you ever thought of committing 00:20:22.174 --> 00:20:23.092 suicide? 00:20:23.342 --> 00:20:24.719 I'm going to commit suicide. 00:20:25.136 --> 00:20:26.512 on my fortieth birthday. 00:20:28.139 --> 00:20:29.140 If I'm still around. 00:20:29.807 --> 00:20:31.017 - Why? - I don't want to be old. 00:20:31.434 --> 00:20:32.477 Do you? 00:21:29.995 --> 00:21:31.580 Oh. 'Ave a fag 00:21:31.830 --> 00:21:33.040 Yeah. Thanks, I will 00:21:44.385 --> 00:21:45.428 What you're readin'? 00:21:58.024 --> 00:21:59.901 Would you stop fuckin' about and fidgetin' in my peripherals - 00:21:59.985 --> 00:22:01.194 I'm trying to concentrate. 00:22:01.528 --> 00:22:03.447 She's got a very little waist, Sophie, an't she? 00:22:05.949 --> 00:22:07.785 She's got little tits an' all 00:22:12.414 --> 00:22:13.415 Are you not cold? 00:22:14.416 --> 00:22:16.919 - I'm reading about the Butterfly Effect. - What's the Butterfly Effect? 00:22:17.628 --> 00:22:20.214 Every time a butterfly flaps its wings in Tokyo, 00:22:20.381 --> 00:22:22.550 this old granny in Salford gets a bilious attack.. 00:22:22.842 --> 00:22:25.303 What happens if a butterfly flaps it's wings in Salford? 00:22:26.804 --> 00:22:27.680 That's not the point. 00:22:28.014 --> 00:22:29.098 Oh, is it not? 00:22:32.435 --> 00:22:33.478 What are you doin' in London, Johnny? 00:22:33.937 --> 00:22:35.230 What are you doin' in London? 00:22:35.355 --> 00:22:36.940 I've told you what I'm doin' in London. 00:22:37.357 --> 00:22:38.483 You've told me nothing. 00:22:40.026 --> 00:22:41.653 The last time I saw you, 00:22:41.987 --> 00:22:43.780 - I told you - - Fuckin' hell! Were you born irritatin'? 00:22:45.491 --> 00:22:46.825 What you came downstairs for anyway? 00:22:47.117 --> 00:22:49.578 I fell asleep with the window open. I was cold. I came down. 00:22:49.662 --> 00:22:52.540 I 'ad to pee, I've made some tea, I'm 'ere, all right? 00:22:52.873 --> 00:22:54.333 What's that? The greatest story ever told? 00:22:54.667 --> 00:22:55.793 I live 'ere 00:23:00.381 --> 00:23:01.924 So what 'appened? Were you bored 00:23:02.175 --> 00:23:02.800 in Manchester? 00:23:03.926 --> 00:23:07.889 Was I bored? No I wasn't fuckin' bored. 00:23:08.097 --> 00:23:09.849 I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. 00:23:10.934 --> 00:23:13.144 You've 'ad nature explained to you and you're bored with it. 00:23:13.270 --> 00:23:15.897 You've 'ad the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, 00:23:16.106 --> 00:23:18.442 You've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it. 00:23:19.026 --> 00:23:21.612 So now you just want cheap thrills and like plenty of 'em and it dun't matter 00:23:21.737 --> 00:23:24.406 'ow tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new, as long as it's new, 00:23:24.948 --> 00:23:27.326 as long as it flashes and fuckin' bleeps in forty fuckin' different colors. 00:23:28.202 --> 00:23:30.871 Well, whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored! 00:23:31.163 --> 00:23:32.164 Yeah, all right. 00:23:34.208 --> 00:23:35.418 So 'ow's it all goin' for you? 00:23:36.502 --> 00:23:38.171 It's a bit borin', actually. 00:23:39.255 --> 00:23:40.465 Are you not enjoyin' yourself? 00:23:43.593 --> 00:23:44.844 Have you made many friends? 00:23:47.055 --> 00:23:47.514 No 00:23:48.098 --> 00:23:51.476 'Ave you got, erm, a goblet or something, because me heart's bleedin'. 00:23:54.938 --> 00:23:56.648 When you goin' back to Manchester? 00:23:56.857 --> 00:23:57.941 When you goin' back to Manchester? 00:23:58.442 --> 00:23:59.693 I'm not going back 00:23:59.818 --> 00:24:01.528 - Why not? - You know why not 00:24:01.612 --> 00:24:02.446 Do I? 00:24:05.324 --> 00:24:07.534 I thought you said you never wanted to see me again 00:24:07.701 --> 00:24:10.121 I don't want to ever see you again, so why you just don't fuck off back upstairs? 00:24:10.204 --> 00:24:11.539 Why are you such a bastard, Johnny? 00:24:12.748 --> 00:24:15.710 - Monkey see, monkey do. - And what does that mean? 00:24:20.673 --> 00:24:21.674 Oh, this fuckin' cough. 00:24:22.258 --> 00:24:24.886 A butterfly must'ave flapped it's wings. 00:24:29.015 --> 00:24:31.226 So, have you got to get up for work now, yeah? 00:24:32.769 --> 00:24:35.147 No. It's too early. 00:24:37.190 --> 00:24:38.650 I'm going back to bed. 00:24:51.956 --> 00:24:55.084 So is she a - a Buddhist or something, this nurse? 00:24:55.543 --> 00:24:57.462 No, she's a Catholic. 00:24:58.254 --> 00:25:00.423 What's she doin' with the old fat chap in the house, then? 00:25:00.715 --> 00:25:02.717 Dunno, I think she fancies him or somethin'. 00:25:04.260 --> 00:25:06.137 Louise is a Catholic, did you know that? 00:25:06.262 --> 00:25:07.389 She's not, is she? 00:25:07.597 --> 00:25:09.474 Oh, fuckin' hell! 00:25:18.442 --> 00:25:20.944 You know what frightens me about the human body? 00:25:21.487 --> 00:25:22.112 What? 00:25:23.030 --> 00:25:26.575 Well, it's like the most sophisticated mechanism in the entire universe, 00:25:26.909 --> 00:25:28.661 and yet it's so fuckin' quiet, in't it? 00:25:28.911 --> 00:25:29.829 know what I mean? 00:25:30.246 --> 00:25:33.207 Dunno... Mine makes enough noise. 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:36.627 It's like this wet, pink factory. 00:25:36.836 --> 00:25:38.922 What the fuck are they makin' in there? I mean what's the product? 00:25:39.172 --> 00:25:41.966 You never see no delivery trucks comin' or goin', do you? 00:25:44.260 --> 00:25:45.762 I could've been a doctor. 00:25:45.971 --> 00:25:47.305 D'you wanna examine me? 00:25:48.056 --> 00:25:49.182 You don't believe me, do you? 00:25:49.349 --> 00:25:51.143 I believe everything you say. 00:25:51.268 --> 00:25:52.519 I've got A-level Psychology. 00:25:52.769 --> 00:25:53.520 You 'aven't! 00:25:56.315 --> 00:25:57.941 "Resolve is never stronger 00:25:58.066 --> 00:26:00.152 than in the morning after the night it was never weaker". 00:26:00.319 --> 00:26:01.403 What d'you think of that? 00:26:01.445 --> 00:26:02.738 It's a load of bollocks. 00:26:04.490 --> 00:26:05.741 I thought of that. 00:26:07.451 --> 00:26:08.703 D'you not agree with it? 00:26:09.745 --> 00:26:10.705 Dunno 00:26:10.830 --> 00:26:13.124 Yeah, well, that's 'cos you weren't fuckin' listening, were you? 00:26:13.916 --> 00:26:16.419 What's this? A test or somethin'? 00:26:30.142 --> 00:26:31.310 Don't! Stop it! 00:26:32.144 --> 00:26:33.687 Just pack it in! Stop it! 00:26:34.855 --> 00:26:36.294 Stop buggering about! 00:26:40.361 --> 00:26:41.487 You could get me a watch, Johnny 00:26:41.612 --> 00:26:43.239 Will you just keep still?! 00:26:43.405 --> 00:26:44.407 Look, you could get me a watch 00:26:44.532 --> 00:26:45.950 I'm not gonna get you a watch - you don't want a fuckin' watch!! 00:26:58.254 --> 00:27:00.006 I really like you, Johnny. 00:27:02.092 --> 00:27:03.426 You don't know me. 00:27:04.845 --> 00:27:06.346 I think I do. 00:27:07.055 --> 00:27:08.306 You don't fuckin' - 00:27:08.473 --> 00:27:09.850 - ..know me! - Oh, shit! 00:27:11.894 --> 00:27:13.645 - D'you still like me? - I love you. 00:27:13.666 --> 00:27:15.439 - What? - I'm in love with you, Johnny. 00:27:16.065 --> 00:27:17.650 Don't laught - I'm serious, uh! 00:27:26.951 --> 00:27:29.537 I understand you Johnny, I do. 00:27:52.978 --> 00:27:54.605 Ta-ra, Mr. Halpern. 00:28:29.057 --> 00:28:30.100 What's the matter? What's going on? 00:28:31.018 --> 00:28:32.352 Fucked if I know. 00:28:43.114 --> 00:28:44.615 I'm too old for all this. 00:28:46.743 --> 00:28:49.287 Why don't we go out ? Go for a drink or somethin'? 00:28:50.288 --> 00:28:52.332 Why don't you fuckin' go out? Go for a drink or somethin'? 00:28:52.624 --> 00:28:54.042 'Cos I wanna go with you! 00:28:55.752 --> 00:28:57.212 Is this good? 00:29:04.886 --> 00:29:07.639 What are you doin'? Where are you goin'? 00:29:07.890 --> 00:29:08.786 I'm cold! 00:29:08.838 --> 00:29:10.559 - Johnny, I just - - Fuck off! 00:29:20.215 --> 00:29:22.905 Fuckin' hell! D'you ever get the feelin' that you're bein' followed? 00:29:24.449 --> 00:29:26.701 Look, will you just leave me alone - give me a bit of room or somethin'? 00:29:51.977 --> 00:29:53.521 Fuckin' hell! 00:30:00.444 --> 00:30:02.697 What's all that about? What you're playing at? 00:30:07.368 --> 00:30:09.037 - Where are you going, Johnny? - Off my head. 00:30:09.162 --> 00:30:10.455 - I'm comin' with you. - No, you're not. 00:30:10.622 --> 00:30:12.707 - I wanna come with you! - I don't want to you fuckin' come with me! 00:30:15.001 --> 00:30:16.169 Are you coming back? 00:30:16.294 --> 00:30:17.462 What the fuck for? 00:31:11.727 --> 00:31:13.187 Maggie ! 00:31:24.991 --> 00:31:26.117 Maggie ! 00:31:29.579 --> 00:31:30.705 You all right there, chief? 00:31:37.337 --> 00:31:38.630 'Ave you lost somebody? 00:31:39.673 --> 00:31:41.383 Are you looking for somebody? 00:31:42.092 --> 00:31:43.719 Fuck off, cunt!! 00:31:55.565 --> 00:31:56.607 Got a fag? 00:31:56.691 --> 00:31:58.203 - Yes, thanks. - Uh? 00:31:58.234 --> 00:31:59.610 - Yes, I've got one. - Giz one. 00:32:00.278 --> 00:32:01.550 - Please. - Wha'? 00:32:01.613 --> 00:32:02.780 Say please. 00:32:02.947 --> 00:32:04.491 Just fuckin' giz one. Come on, mister! 00:32:05.241 --> 00:32:07.494 You've got a lovely way about you - 'as anybody ever told you that? 00:32:09.120 --> 00:32:10.705 'Thank you. That's all right.' 00:32:22.134 --> 00:32:23.427 Maggie ! 00:32:24.094 --> 00:32:25.137 She's gone, mate! 00:32:26.263 --> 00:32:27.515 Those days are over. 00:32:28.974 --> 00:32:30.643 Have you seen a lassie wanderin' aboot here? 00:32:31.894 --> 00:32:32.853 What? 00:32:33.145 --> 00:32:35.273 A lassie. Black hair, blue jeans. 00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:38.735 I saw a little Border collie padding off down there towards a fire. 00:32:38.776 --> 00:32:39.319 Where? 00:32:41.613 --> 00:32:43.114 'Ave you lost your bird or somethin'? 00:32:43.490 --> 00:32:45.700 Aye. Have you've seen her? Black hair? 00:32:46.597 --> 00:32:49.830 - No - Fuckin' hell! Stupid fuckin' cunt's gone 00:32:49.996 --> 00:32:51.039 and got lost. 00:32:51.832 --> 00:32:53.604 - You're from Scotland? - Uh? 00:32:53.959 --> 00:32:55.377 - Are you scots? - Aye. 00:32:55.669 --> 00:32:56.670 What's it like up there? 00:32:56.795 --> 00:32:59.298 Fuckin' shite! I'll kick her fanny in. 00:33:00.174 --> 00:33:02.509 - D'you dream in Scotch? - Uh? 00:33:02.968 --> 00:33:04.929 Like, dream about sporran-clad, caber-tossin' 00:33:05.095 --> 00:33:07.390 haggis, gallopin' over porridge-covered glens? 00:33:07.556 --> 00:33:08.933 Talking shite. 00:33:09.225 --> 00:33:12.937 Yeah, well, I sent off for one of those Linguaphone packages, 'Talk Shite in a Fortnight' - 00:33:13.187 --> 00:33:15.606 't's all goin' very well. I haven't quite got the hang of the transitive verbs yet, but - 00:33:16.024 --> 00:33:17.734 Will you fuckin' shut it, eh?! 00:33:23.531 --> 00:33:25.158 - What you're doing down here? - Eh? 00:33:26.034 --> 00:33:28.537 Why are you here in London, O Bodhidharma? 00:33:29.788 --> 00:33:31.206 Put my old man in hospital. 00:33:31.581 --> 00:33:32.207 - Your dad? - Ah. 00:33:33.333 --> 00:33:36.170 - 'Ow did you do that, then? - Cracked 'im on the nut wi' a poker. 00:33:36.201 --> 00:33:38.756 - What for? - 'E was fuckin' asking for it! 00:33:40.132 --> 00:33:41.300 So what, is 'e in a bad way? 00:33:42.009 --> 00:33:43.385 Fuckin' right. He's 'alf dead. 00:33:43.969 --> 00:33:45.179 What does you mam think about it? 00:33:45.221 --> 00:33:46.681 She's off 'er fuckin' nut. 00:33:47.515 --> 00:33:48.766 So you're like on the run, yeah? 00:33:49.684 --> 00:33:50.518 - Aye. - Yeah, me too. 00:33:50.601 --> 00:33:52.478 Yeah? The cops after you? Yeah? 00:33:53.354 --> 00:33:55.732 - Can you tell me something', Jock. - Uh? 00:33:56.357 --> 00:33:57.400 What's all that about? 00:33:59.611 --> 00:34:02.947 That. The old Highland fling, there. D'you know you're doing that? 00:34:03.219 --> 00:34:05.951 - What? - That, you know - 'And now for my next tic...'. That. 00:34:06.493 --> 00:34:08.370 Look, it, it just happened again - I'm not imaginin' it. 00:34:08.495 --> 00:34:09.621 Fuck off, eh? 00:34:10.163 --> 00:34:12.499 D'you do that in a sack with the old tic, spit, 'Eh, Maggie!'? 00:34:12.749 --> 00:34:13.959 You must be a great fuckin' shag. 00:34:14.084 --> 00:34:15.043 You takin' the piss?! 00:34:15.127 --> 00:34:16.211 You're fuckin' givin' it away, aren't yer? 00:34:16.295 --> 00:34:19.840 Fuckin' come on, cunt! Kick your fucking' head open!! 00:34:20.883 --> 00:34:22.343 What's it like being you? 00:34:23.385 --> 00:34:24.553 Bit hectic? 00:34:24.637 --> 00:34:26.347 Fuck off, poof! 00:34:29.475 --> 00:34:31.644 Do you believe in self-fulfillin' prophecies? 00:34:34.522 --> 00:34:35.940 You know, like, Nostradamus? 00:34:37.817 --> 00:34:40.320 'E was like this sixteenth-century astrologer. 00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:44.407 An''e wrote in one of 'is quatrains that this goon called Hister would invade Poland. 00:34:44.574 --> 00:34:46.535 So Hitler reads it, and thinks 'Hister: Hitler. Must mean me', 00:34:46.701 --> 00:34:48.412 and invades Poland. 00:34:48.578 --> 00:34:51.874 So when the guy prophesied that the world would end in 1999, which 'e did, 00:34:52.416 --> 00:34:54.710 does that therefore mean that we're fulfilling the prophecy 00:34:55.002 --> 00:34:56.503 by precipitatin' the Apocalypse? 00:34:56.629 --> 00:34:57.338 Are you with me? 00:34:58.422 --> 00:35:00.966 Do you think the world will end in 1999? 00:35:04.053 --> 00:35:05.221 Listen, mate, what d'you think to this? 00:35:05.638 --> 00:35:08.599 Why don't you 'ave a little wander round and go look for the wee lassie, an' I'll wait 'ere? 00:35:08.808 --> 00:35:11.811 And if she turns up, I'll keep 'er 'ere till you get back? 'Ow does that grab you? 00:35:11.936 --> 00:35:13.021 Are you're gonna be here, aye? 00:35:13.605 --> 00:35:16.900 Right. If she gets back, right, tell her to fuckin' wait here till I get back. 00:35:17.692 --> 00:35:20.153 If she wanders off, knock her oot. And slap her gob for me, right? 00:35:20.528 --> 00:35:21.488 - Yeah, I'll tie her up. - Aye. 00:35:22.614 --> 00:35:23.657 - You're gonna be here, aye? - Yeah. 00:35:23.907 --> 00:35:25.117 Oh, listen, what's her name again? 00:35:25.409 --> 00:35:26.702 Maggie. 00:35:26.702 --> 00:35:28.996 - Oh, yeah. - Will back in a minute, right? 00:35:45.596 --> 00:35:46.639 Excuse me, love. 00:35:48.933 --> 00:35:49.976 Hallo?! 00:35:51.644 --> 00:35:52.478 Are you Maggie ? 00:35:53.229 --> 00:35:54.481 Piss off! 00:36:00.862 --> 00:36:03.156 - Oh, you're Maggie ? - Wha' ? 00:36:03.156 --> 00:36:05.325 - Is your name Maggie ? - How d'ye ken that? 00:36:05.534 --> 00:36:09.329 It's just a hunch. Are you looking for the petulant dwarf? 00:36:10.831 --> 00:36:11.790 Sprechen Sie Deutsch ? 00:36:11.832 --> 00:36:12.750 Archie ! 00:36:13.042 --> 00:36:15.794 Yeah, that's the fella. I was told to wait 'ere for you. 00:36:16.295 --> 00:36:19.548 You, Maggie, 'e's, Archie, I'm nobody - 'e's gone off looking for you, love. 00:36:19.590 --> 00:36:20.591 What, you've seen 'um? 00:36:20.716 --> 00:36:22.426 Look, would you come and sit over 'ere, now? 00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:24.595 Fuck off, you dirty cunt! 00:36:25.430 --> 00:36:27.140 Yeah, well, I know I've not 'ad bath for a good few seasons, 00:36:27.265 --> 00:36:28.975 but there's no need to 'urt my feelin's. 00:36:29.225 --> 00:36:30.643 'E'll be back in a minute! 00:36:31.936 --> 00:36:33.188 What, he's been here? 00:36:33.605 --> 00:36:36.232 He's been here. He's been there. He's been all over the fuckin' shop. 00:36:36.441 --> 00:36:37.776 And did 'e 'ave the chips wi' 'um? 00:36:37.901 --> 00:36:39.069 He had a huge one on 'is shoulder. 00:36:39.236 --> 00:36:40.112 Fuckin' wee radge! 00:36:40.403 --> 00:36:42.114 Oh, come now, there's no need to knock the young lad, 00:36:42.280 --> 00:36:44.783 He's a wonderful exponent of the old Socratic debate. 00:36:49.788 --> 00:36:52.124 Listen love, I've got this great idea. 00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:56.045 Why don't you 'ave a little wander round, see if you can find the wee lad, an' I wait 'ere. 00:36:56.712 --> 00:36:58.714 An' if 'e turns up, I'll keep 'im 'ere until you get back 00:36:59.090 --> 00:37:00.466 I'm fuckin' starvin'. 00:37:02.093 --> 00:37:03.136 D'you wanna get somethin' to eat? 00:37:03.261 --> 00:37:04.679 He's got all money, hasn't 'e? 00:37:04.721 --> 00:37:05.722 - Who? Laughing Boy? - Aye. 00:37:07.849 --> 00:37:09.058 Well, I've got a few bob on me. 00:37:09.100 --> 00:37:10.894 And what if he comes back when noone's here? 00:37:11.102 --> 00:37:11.978 We'll leave 'em a note 00:37:12.228 --> 00:37:13.563 He'll no be able to read it. 00:37:16.483 --> 00:37:18.527 Well, we'll get 'im on his bleeper - come on 00:37:32.750 --> 00:37:34.418 Can you feel all those vibrations? 00:37:34.919 --> 00:37:35.669 Wha'? 00:37:37.755 --> 00:37:40.758 Just stand still a minute, love. Try and feel it through your feet. 00:37:43.261 --> 00:37:46.306 D'you not get all those tremblin's and rumblin's comin' up through your bones? 00:37:46.598 --> 00:37:47.599 Not really, no. 00:37:49.517 --> 00:37:52.479 D'you not get like a sense of, like, a whole other world underneath all this? 00:37:53.229 --> 00:37:54.606 You know like the guts of London? 00:37:54.773 --> 00:37:58.527 What with all the tube trains and everything, the city's viscera and the subterranean fuckin' 00:37:58.694 --> 00:38:01.363 fistulas and conduits and colons and bunkers 00:38:01.655 --> 00:38:03.115 and dungeons and tombs an' all that? 00:38:03.282 --> 00:38:05.284 What about Hell? And the sewers, like? 00:38:06.243 --> 00:38:09.496 - You know that wherever you are in London, you're only 30 feet away from a rat? - Aye? 00:38:10.372 --> 00:38:11.373 - Does that freak you out? - Nah. 00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:14.919 - D'you believe in hell? - Aye. 00:38:15.294 --> 00:38:17.380 - So, d'you believe in the devil? - Aye. 00:38:17.713 --> 00:38:18.840 What d'you think 'e looks like? 00:38:19.090 --> 00:38:20.508 Looks like that, doesn' 'e? 00:38:21.551 --> 00:38:23.970 What, a little nudist homunculus with a pink quiff? 00:38:24.137 --> 00:38:25.305 No, 'e looks like a snake 00:38:25.430 --> 00:38:26.473 Let's 'ave a look at that 00:38:28.183 --> 00:38:29.434 It's Archie, isn't it? 00:38:29.559 --> 00:38:30.727 It's my good-luck charm 00:38:31.061 --> 00:38:31.978 'As he brought you much? 00:38:32.062 --> 00:38:33.188 Has it fuck. 00:38:33.772 --> 00:38:35.023 - Are you superstituous? - No 00:38:36.066 --> 00:38:37.818 What d'you wear a good-luck charm for, then? 00:38:38.360 --> 00:38:40.070 Are we gonna get something to eat or what? 00:38:44.908 --> 00:38:46.285 Have you ever seen a dead body? 00:38:48.245 --> 00:38:49.330 Only me own. 00:38:56.295 --> 00:38:57.880 Where was you thinkin' to sleepin' tonight? 00:38:58.047 --> 00:38:58.840 Dunno. 00:38:59.590 --> 00:39:00.883 Where did you kip down last night? 00:39:01.050 --> 00:39:01.843 In the park. 00:39:02.427 --> 00:39:04.345 - Was that not cold? - Aye. 00:39:05.638 --> 00:39:07.348 Where are you thinkin' of sleepin', like? 00:39:08.016 --> 00:39:09.184 Wherever I drop. 00:39:10.852 --> 00:39:11.853 'Ow old are you, love? 00:39:12.479 --> 00:39:13.355 Twenty-three 00:39:14.064 --> 00:39:15.440 - Do your mam and dad know you're down 'ere? - No. 00:39:17.109 --> 00:39:18.360 - Will they not be worried about you? - No 00:39:20.362 --> 00:39:21.613 How old are you, like? 00:39:22.698 --> 00:39:23.741 'Ow old d'you think I am? 00:39:24.742 --> 00:39:25.826 About forty. 00:39:27.703 --> 00:39:28.621 I'm twenty-seven. 00:39:29.246 --> 00:39:30.122 Oh, get to fuck! 00:39:38.214 --> 00:39:39.924 Where the fuck 'a you been? 00:39:40.174 --> 00:39:43.511 Where the fuck 'a you been? I've been waitin' on yer! 00:39:43.720 --> 00:39:45.075 - Fuck off! - Cunt! 00:39:45.096 --> 00:39:46.306 Why the fuck you've been doin', eh? 00:39:46.473 --> 00:39:47.766 You've got all the money. 00:39:47.891 --> 00:39:49.142 I've been fuckin'g lookin' all over for yer. 00:39:49.267 --> 00:39:50.310 Aye, well, I was wi' him! 00:39:50.393 --> 00:39:51.895 - Were you fuck! - I fuckin' was! 00:39:51.978 --> 00:39:54.147 - I was fuckin' wi' him! - I was fuckin' wi' him! 00:39:54.356 --> 00:39:55.357 Daft cunt! 00:39:55.565 --> 00:39:57.067 - Fuckin' ask him! - Fuck off! 00:39:57.276 --> 00:39:58.318 Fuckin' ask him! 00:39:58.443 --> 00:40:00.195 - Fuckin' daft bitch! - Where's my chips? 00:40:00.863 --> 00:40:02.656 That was fuckin' years ago. 00:40:02.698 --> 00:40:03.699 Aye, well, I was starvin' wasn't I? 00:40:04.158 --> 00:40:06.035 - I'll fuckin' gi' yer fuckin' chips! - Fuck off! 00:40:06.160 --> 00:40:07.161 - Fuckin' leave us alone! 00:40:07.390 --> 00:40:08.746 - Kick your fuckin' cunt 00:40:54.335 --> 00:40:55.461 Did he 'urt you? 00:40:58.298 --> 00:40:59.424 What d'you mean? 00:41:00.300 --> 00:41:02.969 You know, when you were fuckin'? 00:41:03.928 --> 00:41:05.555 Why? Did he 'urt you? 00:41:09.976 --> 00:41:12.688 D'you thing you were made for each other? 00:41:13.355 --> 00:41:15.274 Well, we went out for a year. 00:41:15.482 --> 00:41:18.944 A year?! Fuckin''ell - gimme a year! 00:41:22.656 --> 00:41:24.784 D'you ever feel like topping yourself? 00:41:27.203 --> 00:41:29.622 Oh, God! I wish I was at 'ome 00:41:30.206 --> 00:41:31.124 Glad I'm not. 00:41:31.374 --> 00:41:34.877 Yeah, well, I don't mean with me mum and dad. I just mean in Manchester. 00:41:35.503 --> 00:41:37.422 Oh, you reckon it's different there, do you? 00:41:37.547 --> 00:41:40.216 - Yeah - people talk to you. - Well, I'm talkin' to you. 00:41:40.425 --> 00:41:42.177 Yeah, but you talk a pile of shit. 00:41:44.471 --> 00:41:45.972 Don't matter where are you, anyway. 00:41:46.097 --> 00:41:48.767 You might as well be in Zimbabwe with Sandra. 00:41:51.520 --> 00:41:54.064 Are you gonna do any washin' up before she gets back? 00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:57.192 Yeah, course I am. When is she gettin' back? 00:41:58.652 --> 00:41:59.695 Sunday. 00:42:01.155 --> 00:42:03.199 Well, that's four fuckin' days away, innit? 00:42:14.210 --> 00:42:17.046 "Thou shalt not consent unto Him, nor harken unto Him." 00:42:17.213 --> 00:42:19.632 "Neither shall thine eye pity Him, neither shalt thou spare", 00:42:19.716 --> 00:42:22.969 "neither shalt thou conceal 'Im. But thou shalt surely kill 'Im. Thy ha..." 00:42:37.693 --> 00:42:38.861 Lost me place now. 00:42:41.530 --> 00:42:43.741 "And thou shalt stone 'Im with stones, that He die 00:42:44.033 --> 00:42:46.869 because He hath sought to thrust thee away from the Lord thy God. And -" 00:42:47.870 --> 00:42:50.540 Oh, fuckin' 'ell! Why 'ast though forsaken me? Bastard!" 00:43:16.609 --> 00:43:20.446 Is that it now, then? Are you through with the regulation pacin'? 00:43:20.738 --> 00:43:22.740 You're all set to deploy the fatuous sarcasm? 00:43:22.949 --> 00:43:24.867 Well, I've beaten you to it. 00:43:24.992 --> 00:43:26.035 Would you like a mint? 00:43:27.286 --> 00:43:29.789 Oh, what's this, new policy? Ply the culprit with menthol? 00:43:30.081 --> 00:43:31.666 Extra strong. 00:43:35.211 --> 00:43:36.963 I get four packets of these a night 00:43:37.339 --> 00:43:40.091 You want be careful, don't yer? I don't want your poxy mint. 00:43:42.719 --> 00:43:44.179 Oh? Waste not, want not. 00:43:44.596 --> 00:43:46.098 And other cliches. 00:43:46.473 --> 00:43:49.143 Ah - but a cliche is full of truth, otherwise it wouldn't be a cliche. 00:43:49.351 --> 00:43:50.978 Which is in itself a cliche. 00:43:53.981 --> 00:43:55.649 Tell me, have you 00:43:55.941 --> 00:43:56.650 read the book of Hosea? 00:43:56.817 --> 00:43:57.485 What now? 00:43:57.693 --> 00:43:59.445 "For they are the children of whores". 00:43:59.737 --> 00:44:01.113 There's no need to get personal, mate. 00:44:02.490 --> 00:44:03.574 Look, will you stop fucking about? 00:44:03.783 --> 00:44:05.368 If you're gonna stick the boot in, will you get on with it? 00:44:19.966 --> 00:44:21.176 Have you got nowhere to go, then? 00:44:21.677 --> 00:44:23.345 Yeah, I've got an infinite number of fuckin' places to go. 00:44:23.470 --> 00:44:25.222 The problem is, where you stay. 00:44:25.430 --> 00:44:26.348 Are you with me? 00:44:26.640 --> 00:44:28.267 Indeed. Yes. 00:44:29.852 --> 00:44:31.061 So listen, is there much security 00:44:31.186 --> 00:44:31.979 in this job? 00:44:32.855 --> 00:44:33.606 Too much. 00:44:38.736 --> 00:44:42.115 And what is it what goes on in this particular postmodernist gas chamber? 00:44:43.699 --> 00:44:46.869 Nothing. It's empty. 00:44:47.620 --> 00:44:49.080 So what is it that you're guardin'? 00:44:50.874 --> 00:44:51.791 Space. 00:44:54.127 --> 00:44:55.420 You're guarding space? 00:44:56.630 --> 00:45:00.092 That's stupid, innit? Because someone could break in there, right, and steal all the fuckin' space, 00:45:00.217 --> 00:45:01.551 and you wouldn't know it 'ad gone, would you? 00:45:03.512 --> 00:45:04.721 Good point. 00:45:08.267 --> 00:45:09.101 Night-night. 00:45:52.271 --> 00:45:56.567 Yeah, all right, pal. I appreciate you've got a job to do, an' it's "Move on! Move on! Move on!" 00:45:56.776 --> 00:45:58.569 But it's fuckin' freezin' out there, an' I was a Caesarian. 00:45:58.694 --> 00:45:59.612 Come on, quick! 00:45:59.946 --> 00:46:01.698 - What? - Come in. 00:46:06.369 --> 00:46:07.245 Are you serious? 00:46:07.412 --> 00:46:08.955 Through that door... smartish. 00:46:15.962 --> 00:46:16.922 It's a funny smell in 'ere. 00:46:17.965 --> 00:46:19.132 Come on. 00:46:23.721 --> 00:46:25.472 A bit of waste of space, all this, in't it? 00:46:26.307 --> 00:46:28.767 You could sleep a thousand flea-bitten tramps in 'ere. 00:46:29.602 --> 00:46:30.916 And what's all that? 00:46:31.437 --> 00:46:33.397 You know, they say it's a fuckin' jungle out there? 'Ave you seen it in 'ere? 00:46:34.023 --> 00:46:35.233 I mean, where's the bloody monkeys? 00:46:36.234 --> 00:46:39.404 Look, Dad, will you just back off?! What is it you're after? 00:46:39.779 --> 00:46:41.656 - You must be invisible. - What? 00:46:41.990 --> 00:46:43.783 I must be seen. 00:46:44.200 --> 00:46:45.243 Follow me. 00:46:58.966 --> 00:47:00.008 Sit here. 00:47:02.511 --> 00:47:03.887 Am I allowed to smoke in here? 00:47:04.096 --> 00:47:06.140 No. You'll set off the alarm. 00:47:07.600 --> 00:47:08.851 Now, I'm not gonna look at you. 00:47:10.311 --> 00:47:13.356 It mustn't look like I'm talking to anybody. 00:47:13.773 --> 00:47:15.525 If you're seen in here, I'm out of a job. 00:47:16.609 --> 00:47:17.944 See what I mean? 00:47:18.361 --> 00:47:20.572 Well, if they see you talking to yourself like that, you'll be out of a job anyway. 00:47:20.947 --> 00:47:22.407 They'll come after you with a big butterfly net. 00:47:25.618 --> 00:47:27.287 Oh, yes.. I'll stand like this, then. 00:47:29.331 --> 00:47:30.165 Well, that's better, isn't it? 00:47:30.540 --> 00:47:31.166 What? 00:47:31.708 --> 00:47:33.210 In out of the cold? 00:47:37.548 --> 00:47:38.924 Yeah. Yeah - thanks very much. 00:47:42.970 --> 00:47:44.680 It's funny bein' inside, in't it? 00:47:45.681 --> 00:47:48.934 'Cos when you are inside, you're still actually outside, aren't you? 00:47:49.518 --> 00:47:51.479 And then you can say when you're outside, you're inside, 00:47:51.604 --> 00:47:53.439 because you're always inside your head. 00:47:54.148 --> 00:47:54.857 D'you follow that? 00:47:55.274 --> 00:47:57.277 Yes. Sometimes when I'm sitting here, I turn the lights off - 00:47:57.360 --> 00:47:58.486 sit in the dark. 00:47:59.571 --> 00:48:00.613 That always makes me feel like I'm sitting 00:48:00.780 --> 00:48:01.698 outside. 00:48:02.532 --> 00:48:04.034 So what d'you do with you self here of a night-time? 00:48:04.909 --> 00:48:06.870 I read. And I think. 00:48:07.746 --> 00:48:08.997 What do you think about? 00:48:10.040 --> 00:48:11.041 I think about my life. 00:48:11.416 --> 00:48:13.835 - And is that horrendous for you? - No! Certainly not! 00:48:14.253 --> 00:48:15.295 Is it horrendous for your wife? 00:48:15.921 --> 00:48:16.964 Are you married, mate? 00:48:18.841 --> 00:48:20.426 Well, technically I'm married. 00:48:20.801 --> 00:48:23.012 Although my wife is 5,919 miles away, 00:48:23.304 --> 00:48:24.764 and I haven't seen her for thirteen years. 00:48:25.222 --> 00:48:27.433 It's all going very well then. Where is she? 00:48:27.850 --> 00:48:28.601 She's in Bangkok. 00:48:28.935 --> 00:48:29.894 Saucy! 00:48:34.107 --> 00:48:36.818 - They're not worth it, are they? - Whores and harlots. 00:48:38.987 --> 00:48:40.530 When was the last time you 'ad a fuck? 00:48:43.450 --> 00:48:45.118 Is that an embarassin' question for you? 00:48:45.869 --> 00:48:47.162 It is rather - yes. 00:48:48.455 --> 00:48:49.498 I'm sorry. 00:48:52.459 --> 00:48:53.585 Step this way. 00:48:54.711 --> 00:48:57.214 I want to reveal to you the mysteries of my trade. 00:49:01.510 --> 00:49:02.803 What d'you think that is? 00:49:03.137 --> 00:49:04.847 A Dadaist nun? 00:49:04.972 --> 00:49:08.768 Wrong. This little lady is the representative of my employer. 00:49:08.935 --> 00:49:09.644 How d'you do, love? 00:49:09.644 --> 00:49:10.478 Watch. 00:49:13.690 --> 00:49:14.774 Very Zen. 00:49:15.275 --> 00:49:19.738 My existence at this moment on this spot is now trapped and recorded. 00:49:20.697 --> 00:49:23.575 23 moments, 23 sites, every two hours. 00:49:24.493 --> 00:49:25.744 That's my job. 00:49:26.828 --> 00:49:29.498 Well, could they not train a tall chimpanzee to do that? 00:49:29.748 --> 00:49:32.251 Or, a small chimpanzee with a bigger gizmo? 00:49:33.335 --> 00:49:35.045 I suppose they could, yes. 00:49:35.587 --> 00:49:36.588 What's your name, son? 00:49:37.256 --> 00:49:39.842 - Brian. - Hallo Brian - Johnny. 00:49:40.134 --> 00:49:43.679 Well, Brian, congratulations, you've succeeded in convincin' me 00:49:43.804 --> 00:49:47.266 that you do 'ave the most tedious fuckin' job in England. 00:49:50.478 --> 00:49:50.916 Come on. 00:50:01.844 --> 00:50:05.786 - Yes! It is a boring job! Bloody boring, actually. - All right! All right! 00:50:05.869 --> 00:50:07.537 But all you can see is the tip of the iceberg. 00:50:07.663 --> 00:50:09.623 The present. The tedious here and now. 00:50:09.915 --> 00:50:13.794 What you're not capable of seeing is the rest of time - the rest of the iceberg. 00:50:14.003 --> 00:50:15.754 The past and the future. 00:50:15.879 --> 00:50:18.674 My future. Which is a very interesting place to be. 00:50:19.383 --> 00:50:21.635 And the good thing about this job is that it gives me time and space 00:50:21.761 --> 00:50:23.387 to contemplate the future at my leisure. 00:50:23.804 --> 00:50:25.139 Whilst the city sleeps. 00:50:25.306 --> 00:50:27.934 Free from cacophonous curiosity of the hoi polloi. 00:50:29.143 --> 00:50:31.229 So you see, it's not a boring job. 00:50:33.064 --> 00:50:34.524 And I'm not boring, either. 00:50:35.233 --> 00:50:36.985 Am I allowed to smoke on the stairs? 00:50:37.235 --> 00:50:38.945 No. There's alarms all over the building. 00:50:40.822 --> 00:50:43.992 So you think you can make the present palatable by projectin' into the future? 00:50:44.117 --> 00:50:47.329 You're living in the past, pal. It's the future that fucks you up, Brian. 00:50:47.538 --> 00:50:49.498 It's the maggot in the apple. 00:50:50.332 --> 00:50:53.669 See, you're all pissed off with the present, Bri, and there's nothing wrong with the present. 00:50:54.044 --> 00:50:56.422 The present's fine. The present's perfect. 00:50:56.547 --> 00:50:57.882 The present's peachy-fuckin'-creamy. 00:50:58.174 --> 00:51:01.385 The only thing wrong with the present is the bastard doesn't exist, 00:51:01.510 --> 00:51:04.430 Because the present is the future, and the future is the past. 00:51:04.639 --> 00:51:06.557 And it's all the same fuckin' bag of bones anyway. 00:51:06.808 --> 00:51:10.687 It's a constant process of comin' into bein' and passin' away, comin' into bein' and passin' away. 00:51:10.937 --> 00:51:12.272 The future is now. 00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:14.441 But the present does exist. We're in it, now. 00:51:14.816 --> 00:51:18.695 You were just then when you said it, but you're not in it now, you're not in it now, you're not in it now. You're forever being kicked up 00:51:19.029 --> 00:51:20.655 the arse by the future. Are you with me? 00:51:21.114 --> 00:51:24.368 That's what I mean. See, I'm in the present. 00:51:24.493 --> 00:51:26.954 But I'm not in the present. I'm in the future. 00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:30.124 Exactly. 00:51:31.041 --> 00:51:32.293 Has nobody not told you, Brian, 00:51:32.418 --> 00:51:35.087 that you've got this kind of gleeful preoccupation with the future? 00:51:35.254 --> 00:51:37.256 I wouldn't even mind, but you don't even 'ave a fuckin' future. 00:51:37.381 --> 00:51:41.010 I don't 'ave a future. Nobody 'as a future. The party's is over. 00:51:41.135 --> 00:51:43.179 Take a look around you, man. It's all breaking up. 00:51:43.930 --> 00:51:46.307 Are you not familiar with the book of Revelation of St John, 00:51:46.516 --> 00:51:48.434 the final book of the Bible, prophesying the Apocalypse? 00:51:48.643 --> 00:51:50.687 Yes. As it happens, I'm familiar with all the books of the Bible. 00:51:50.812 --> 00:51:51.980 I'm very happy for you 00:51:52.397 --> 00:51:56.276 "He forced everyone to receive a mark on his right hand, or on his forehead, 00:51:56.568 --> 00:51:58.612 so that no one shall be able to buy or sell, 00:51:58.737 --> 00:52:00.906 unless he has the mark, which is the name of the beast. 00:52:01.156 --> 00:52:03.784 Or the number of his name; and the number of the beast is six-six-six. 00:52:04.159 --> 00:52:05.160 - Six-six-six. I know about it - Great! 00:52:05.577 --> 00:52:08.664 I know about Nostradamus. Nostradamus talked about three brothers. 00:52:09.581 --> 00:52:12.668 Now, did he mean the Kennedy brothers, or was he talking about three bits of the Soviet Union? 00:52:13.711 --> 00:52:15.171 You see, you just can't tell. 00:52:15.337 --> 00:52:17.673 Fuck Nostradamus! I'm not talking about Nostradamus 00:52:17.798 --> 00:52:19.967 or Mother Shipton or Russell Grant of Mystic fuckin' Meg - 00:52:20.092 --> 00:52:21.969 I'm talking about a Holy fuckin' Book! 00:52:23.221 --> 00:52:26.182 What can such a specific prophecy mean? 00:52:26.808 --> 00:52:28.184 What is the mark? 00:52:29.352 --> 00:52:31.604 Well the mark, Brian, is the bar code, 00:52:31.813 --> 00:52:35.567 the ubiquitous barcode that you'll find on every bog-roll, on every packet of johnnies, 00:52:35.775 --> 00:52:37.152 and every poxy pork pie. 00:52:37.444 --> 00:52:41.073 And every fuckin' bar code is divided into two parts by three markers. 00:52:41.323 --> 00:52:44.409 And those three markers are always represented by the number six. 00:52:44.576 --> 00:52:46.704 Six. Six. Six! 00:52:47.037 --> 00:52:49.415 Now what does it say? "No one shall be able to buy, 00:52:49.665 --> 00:52:51.500 or sell, without that mark." 00:52:52.126 --> 00:52:55.963 And now, what they're plannin' to do in order to eradicate all credit-card fraud, 00:52:56.297 --> 00:52:58.966 and in order to precipitate a totally cashless society, 00:52:59.217 --> 00:53:01.844 what they're plannin' to do, what they've already tested on the American troops, 00:53:02.053 --> 00:53:04.681 they're going to subcutaneously laser-tattoo that mark 00:53:04.973 --> 00:53:06.766 on to your right hand or on to your forehead. 00:53:06.933 --> 00:53:09.728 They're going to replace plastic with flesh. Fact! 00:53:10.645 --> 00:53:14.337 In the same book of Revelation, when the seven seals are broken open on the Day of Judgement, 00:53:14.441 --> 00:53:18.111 and the seven angels blow the trumpets, when the third angel blows 'er bugle, 00:53:18.445 --> 00:53:20.614 "Wormwood will fall from the sky. 00:53:20.822 --> 00:53:22.658 Wormwood will poison a third part of all the waters, 00:53:22.991 --> 00:53:26.620 and a third part of all the land, and many, many, many, people will die." 00:53:26.870 --> 00:53:29.957 Now, d'you know what the Russian translation for "wormwood" is? 00:53:30.666 --> 00:53:32.168 - No - Chernobyl. 00:53:32.626 --> 00:53:33.502 Fact! 00:53:34.295 --> 00:53:36.672 On August the 18th, 1999, 00:53:36.964 --> 00:53:40.426 the planets of our solar system are going to line up into the shape of a cross. 00:53:40.510 --> 00:53:41.427 I don't believe in astrology. 00:53:41.594 --> 00:53:44.097 I'm not talking about astrology. I'm talking about astromony. 00:53:44.722 --> 00:53:48.101 They're going to line up in the fixed signs of Aquarius, Leo, Taurus, 00:53:48.351 --> 00:53:52.522 and Scorpio, which just happen to correspond with the four beasts of the Apocalypse, 00:53:52.772 --> 00:53:54.107 as mentioned in the Book of Daniel. 00:53:54.316 --> 00:53:57.235 Another fuckin' fact! D'you want me to go on? 00:53:57.653 --> 00:54:00.989 The end of the world is nigh, Bri. The game is up! 00:54:03.409 --> 00:54:04.451 I don't believe that. 00:54:05.911 --> 00:54:07.580 Life can't just come to a stop. 00:54:13.628 --> 00:54:16.714 All right, I'm not sayin' that life will end, or the world will end, 00:54:16.923 --> 00:54:19.008 or the universe will cease to exist. 00:54:19.217 --> 00:54:21.010 But Man will cease to exist. 00:54:21.302 --> 00:54:24.514 Just like the dinosaurs passed into extinction, the same thing'll happen to us. 00:54:24.889 --> 00:54:28.101 We're not fuckin' important. We're just a crap idea! 00:54:28.435 --> 00:54:29.978 I'm not gonna cease to exist. 00:54:31.021 --> 00:54:32.314 I'm gonna be here in the future. 00:54:33.815 --> 00:54:36.235 What is this fuckin' fixation with the future?! 00:54:37.027 --> 00:54:39.863 Listen pal, I've got chronic systolic palpitations 00:54:40.072 --> 00:54:41.615 and acute fuckin' neuralgia! 00:54:42.032 --> 00:54:43.576 What about these toilets - can I smoke in 'ere? 00:54:43.742 --> 00:54:44.827 No, you fuckin' can't! 00:54:46.620 --> 00:54:47.830 Let me ask you a question. 00:54:48.706 --> 00:54:51.000 Have you ever had the sense that you've lived in a time different from this one? 00:54:51.250 --> 00:54:53.377 - What you mean like in a past life? - Could be, yeah. 00:54:53.669 --> 00:54:54.962 Yeah, well, in my past life I was dead. 00:54:55.088 --> 00:54:56.381 Ah, well, you see - I wasn't. 00:54:56.547 --> 00:54:59.175 I know I was here in the past, before I was born. 00:54:59.759 --> 00:55:01.886 So I know I'm gonna be here in the future after I've died. 00:55:02.262 --> 00:55:02.929 I see. 00:55:03.471 --> 00:55:05.181 And in this alternative existence, 00:55:05.348 --> 00:55:07.309 did you still 'ave the same noxious body odour? 00:55:07.976 --> 00:55:10.520 There's no need to be personal. It's what I believe. 00:55:10.645 --> 00:55:11.772 Shall I tell you what I believe? 00:55:11.855 --> 00:55:12.689 You don't believe anything. 00:55:12.814 --> 00:55:13.690 Oh, I do, Brian. 00:55:13.815 --> 00:55:14.983 Yeah? What do you believe? 00:55:15.484 --> 00:55:18.695 Do you think the amoeba ever dreamed that it would evolve into the frog? 00:55:19.947 --> 00:55:20.990 Of course it didn't. 00:55:21.657 --> 00:55:24.994 And when that first frog shimmied out of the water and employed it's vocal chords 00:55:25.161 --> 00:55:27.788 in order to attract a mate or to retard a predator, 00:55:28.122 --> 00:55:31.042 do you think that that frog ever imagined that that incipient croak would evolve into 00:55:31.209 --> 00:55:32.835 all the languages of the world, 00:55:33.002 --> 00:55:34.087 into all the literature of the world? 00:55:34.295 --> 00:55:35.588 'Course it fuckin' didn't. 00:55:36.130 --> 00:55:40.009 And just as that froggy could never have possibly conceived of - of Shakespeare, 00:55:40.218 --> 00:55:42.721 we can never possibly imagine our destiny. 00:55:43.513 --> 00:55:45.181 I know what my destiny is. 00:55:45.682 --> 00:55:49.936 Yeah but what you're experiencing, as far as I can gather what with all these manifestations of 00:55:50.479 --> 00:55:52.147 regression and precognition 00:55:52.356 --> 00:55:54.942 and transmigratory astral fuckin' chatterin's, 00:55:55.234 --> 00:55:58.487 is just the equivalent of that first primeval grunt. 00:55:58.737 --> 00:56:00.573 Because evolution isn't over. 00:56:00.990 --> 00:56:03.784 Man isn't the fuckin' be-all and fuckin' end-all. 00:56:05.828 --> 00:56:09.207 Look. If you take the whole of time represented by one year, 00:56:09.415 --> 00:56:11.918 we're only in the first few moments of the 1st of January. 00:56:12.168 --> 00:56:13.628 There's a long way to go. 00:56:14.087 --> 00:56:16.714 Only now we're not going to sprout extra limbs and wings and fins 00:56:16.923 --> 00:56:19.134 because evolution itself is evolving. 00:56:19.384 --> 00:56:23.305 And whereas you, through some process of extra-sensory recall, 00:56:23.471 --> 00:56:25.015 might imagine that you were some - 00:56:25.182 --> 00:56:28.643 I dunno, some 17th century little Dutch girl livin' in a windmill in Old Amsterdam, 00:56:28.769 --> 00:56:31.647 one day you'll realize that you've had not just one or two 00:56:31.813 --> 00:56:33.398 past or future existences, 00:56:33.816 --> 00:56:37.111 but that you were, and are, everybody and everything that 'as ever been, 00:56:37.277 --> 00:56:38.862 or will ever be. 00:56:40.197 --> 00:56:42.700 Hang on a minute. You've just contradicted yourself. 00:56:42.908 --> 00:56:43.868 Oh, and 'ow'd you make that out? 00:56:44.035 --> 00:56:45.912 Downstairs you were predicting the end of the world. 00:56:46.078 --> 00:56:47.205 Now you're talking about the future. 00:56:48.039 --> 00:56:48.956 How do you explain that, eh? 00:56:49.290 --> 00:56:50.124 Easy. 00:56:50.833 --> 00:56:52.085 When it comes, the Apocalypse itself 00:56:52.293 --> 00:56:55.672 will be part of the process of that leap of evolution. 00:56:58.717 --> 00:57:01.720 Yeah, well, whatever happens, mankind will not cease to exist. 00:57:02.178 --> 00:57:06.516 He must. By the very definition of Apocalypse, Mankind must cease to exist, 00:57:06.683 --> 00:57:08.226 at least in a material form. 00:57:08.810 --> 00:57:10.270 What d'you mean, in a material form? 00:57:10.562 --> 00:57:11.522 Well, 'e'll evolve. 00:57:11.688 --> 00:57:12.439 What into? 00:57:12.731 --> 00:57:14.733 Into something that transcends matter. 00:57:15.484 --> 00:57:17.987 Into a species of pure thought. Are you with me? 00:57:19.405 --> 00:57:20.322 Yeah. Like a ghost. 00:57:21.157 --> 00:57:23.159 No, not like a fuckin' ghost, you big girl's blouse! 00:57:23.451 --> 00:57:25.953 Into something that's, like, well beyond our comprehension. 00:57:26.204 --> 00:57:27.747 Into a universal consciousness, 00:57:27.955 --> 00:57:30.375 Into God. Who is. 00:57:30.625 --> 00:57:33.670 By the same principle that time is. 00:57:34.629 --> 00:57:36.005 You don't believe in God. 00:57:36.506 --> 00:57:37.757 'Course I believe in God. 00:57:41.761 --> 00:57:44.014 You see... The thing is, Brian 00:57:46.058 --> 00:57:48.393 that God is a hateful God. 00:57:49.561 --> 00:57:52.523 Must be, because if God is good, 00:57:52.898 --> 00:57:54.692 then why is there evil in the world? 00:57:55.401 --> 00:57:59.155 Why is there pain and hate and greed and war? 00:58:00.364 --> 00:58:01.449 It doesn't make sense. 00:58:04.118 --> 00:58:07.622 But if God is a nasty bastard, then you can say, why is there good in the world? 00:58:07.914 --> 00:58:10.667 Why is there love and hope and joy? 00:58:12.961 --> 00:58:14.546 Well, let's face it, good exists 00:58:14.754 --> 00:58:16.840 in order to be fucked up by evil. 00:58:17.382 --> 00:58:20.594 The very existence of good enables evil to flourish. 00:58:20.927 --> 00:58:23.430 Therefore, God is bad. 00:58:24.973 --> 00:58:27.810 And it doesn't matter how many past or future existences you have, 00:58:28.018 --> 00:58:31.647 because they're all going to be riddled with grief and anguish 00:58:31.855 --> 00:58:33.524 and sickness and death. 00:58:35.943 --> 00:58:37.987 You see Brian, God doesn't love you. 00:58:39.196 --> 00:58:40.448 God despises you. 00:58:42.074 --> 00:58:43.284 So there's no hope. 00:58:45.036 --> 00:58:46.788 Mankind is just a component of the device 00:58:47.080 --> 00:58:49.874 by which the devil creates itself. 00:58:50.875 --> 00:58:51.584 You with me? 00:58:55.171 --> 00:58:59.301 You see, what I'm saying, basically, is you can't make an omelette without crackin' a few eggs, 00:58:59.509 --> 00:59:03.055 and humanity is just a cracked egg. And the omelette 00:59:04.640 --> 00:59:05.557 stinks. 00:59:13.691 --> 00:59:14.859 Yeah. 00:59:36.214 --> 00:59:37.966 Oh. And what's through the round window? 00:59:43.096 --> 00:59:44.097 'Oo's that? 00:59:45.724 --> 00:59:46.767 Good question. 00:59:47.810 --> 00:59:49.103 'Ave you seen 'er before? 00:59:49.520 --> 00:59:51.438 Oh yeah. She's there every night. 00:59:53.941 --> 00:59:55.443 Good-looking young girl, in't she? 00:59:56.485 --> 00:59:57.278 She's all right. 00:59:57.695 --> 00:59:59.197 Does she ever 'as fellers up there? 01:00:00.031 --> 01:00:00.740 No. 01:00:03.201 --> 01:00:05.620 'Ave you ever seen 'er, like, you know, totally naked? 01:00:08.790 --> 01:00:09.708 Once. 01:00:12.085 --> 01:00:13.336 What's she up to, eh? 01:00:13.587 --> 01:00:16.590 I mean, what's her game, taunting people in the middle of the night, eh? 01:00:18.133 --> 01:00:22.095 She probably gets a kick out of it. Like you get a kick out o' watching 'er. 01:00:22.304 --> 01:00:23.305 I'm doing no such thing. 01:00:23.430 --> 01:00:24.264 Well, I am. 01:00:25.516 --> 01:00:26.558 'Ave your got a 'ard-on? 01:00:28.477 --> 01:00:30.354 No, I haven't, as a matter of fact. 01:00:31.313 --> 01:00:32.940 You wouldn't tell me if you had, would you? 01:00:33.941 --> 01:00:35.693 No, I don't think I would. 01:00:40.239 --> 01:00:42.575 - Did you make these youself? - I did, yeah. 01:00:42.784 --> 01:00:43.826 I thought so. 01:00:44.744 --> 01:00:46.788 Well, listen, I might be back in a couple of minutes. 01:00:48.081 --> 01:00:50.875 Be good. If you can't be good, be careful! 01:00:51.084 --> 01:00:53.357 And other cliches. 01:00:56.089 --> 01:00:57.257 Tatty-bye, Bri. 01:01:13.608 --> 01:01:14.650 Charles ! 01:01:16.527 --> 01:01:17.153 What?! 01:01:17.570 --> 01:01:20.907 Mais il est ou alors? Ecoute, je ne sais pas qui vous etes. 01:01:23.785 --> 01:01:26.287 What's the fuck's going on? Where the bloody hell's Dorfman, 01:01:26.371 --> 01:01:28.581 the bastard costs me 30 grands already! 01:01:29.124 --> 01:01:30.292 Quoi?! 01:01:30.896 --> 01:01:32.690 Qu'est-ce qui se passe? 01:01:33.295 --> 01:01:34.254 Fuck ! 01:01:36.048 --> 01:01:37.132 Sorry about that. 01:01:47.268 --> 01:01:50.730 Oh, I'm sorry, love. That's not you on the top floor, is it? 01:01:51.397 --> 01:01:53.024 - Dancin'? - Yeah. Why? 01:01:56.152 --> 01:01:57.403 Oh, right. You're a lovely mover. 01:01:59.781 --> 01:02:01.825 I'm sorry pet. I'm freaking you out. 01:02:01.825 --> 01:02:02.742 Where's Bhapu? 01:02:03.451 --> 01:02:04.202 Bhapu? 01:02:04.744 --> 01:02:05.870 It's cold. 01:02:06.246 --> 01:02:08.498 Listen, I'd better explain myself - you see me brother's working 01:02:08.748 --> 01:02:11.752 as an insecurity guard in that fuckin' monstrosity round the back, 01:02:11.918 --> 01:02:13.587 and we can see straight into your room. 01:02:14.546 --> 01:02:15.631 It's very nice. 01:02:16.673 --> 01:02:19.760 Anyway, 'e's got 'is boss comin' round. So 'e's told me to schlep round the streets 01:02:19.968 --> 01:02:20.928 for a couple of hours, and I said 01:02:21.136 --> 01:02:23.973 I'd come and say 'ello to Isadora Duncan. Keep you company. 01:02:25.558 --> 01:02:28.811 I know it's a big cheeky but I'm a cheeky young monkey! 01:02:30.438 --> 01:02:31.314 D'you wanna come in? 01:02:32.315 --> 01:02:33.149 Is that all right? 01:02:44.035 --> 01:02:45.412 How long you been growing that? 01:02:46.371 --> 01:02:47.747 About two inches. 01:02:48.081 --> 01:02:49.249 It's nice. 01:02:49.958 --> 01:02:50.959 You've 'ad a few, an't you, love? 01:02:53.086 --> 01:02:54.213 Do you wanna come in? 01:02:54.546 --> 01:02:55.672 Thought you'd never ask. 01:03:06.851 --> 01:03:08.311 Am I allowed to smoke in 'ere? 01:03:09.896 --> 01:03:11.105 Thank Christ for that! 01:03:12.899 --> 01:03:14.067 D'you wanna a drink? 01:03:17.111 --> 01:03:20.698 I think I better 'ad, don't you? Got a bit of fuckin' catchin' up to do, an't I? 01:03:22.575 --> 01:03:23.785 Here's to the monarchy! 01:03:27.956 --> 01:03:29.166 - What's funny? - I'm not laughing. 01:03:31.501 --> 01:03:33.253 So, do you live 'ere on yer own, yeah? 01:03:36.298 --> 01:03:40.261 Is this what you're reading? "Jane Austen" by Emma. 01:03:41.011 --> 01:03:42.680 It's my favorite book. 01:03:42.847 --> 01:03:43.764 Is it really? 01:03:46.267 --> 01:03:47.768 I don't read much, meself. 01:03:57.529 --> 01:03:58.279 You're from Ireland? 01:03:59.781 --> 01:04:00.699 No. 01:04:02.492 --> 01:04:03.368 Why? 01:04:04.744 --> 01:04:05.662 What's that, a damp patch? 01:04:12.169 --> 01:04:13.796 Oh, I never noticed that before. 01:04:31.940 --> 01:04:33.233 'Ow's it goin' inside there? 01:04:36.820 --> 01:04:37.779 Baby. 01:04:59.051 --> 01:05:00.219 'Ow old are you, love? 01:05:03.180 --> 01:05:05.474 It's funny, 'cos from over there you look a lot younger. 01:05:07.059 --> 01:05:09.187 I think me big brother's quite taken with you. 01:05:09.646 --> 01:05:12.440 'E's up there every night, 'avin' a bit of a wank about yer. 01:05:12.461 --> 01:05:13.170 Are you with me? 01:06:06.413 --> 01:06:07.456 What's the matter? 01:06:09.249 --> 01:06:10.376 Don't do that 01:06:11.585 --> 01:06:12.670 What, that? 01:06:14.046 --> 01:06:15.089 Or that? 01:06:17.675 --> 01:06:18.968 Don't you like that? 01:06:21.012 --> 01:06:22.680 You don't 'ave to 'urt me 01:06:25.641 --> 01:06:27.101 I'm sorry 01:07:41.387 --> 01:07:42.430 Bite me. 01:07:45.558 --> 01:07:47.185 Fuckin' bite me! 01:07:49.854 --> 01:07:50.897 Come on! 01:08:14.463 --> 01:08:15.590 'Oo's this? 01:08:18.050 --> 01:08:19.135 'Oo's this? 01:09:37.634 --> 01:09:39.052 I can't, love. 01:09:42.222 --> 01:09:43.598 You look like me mother. 01:09:59.365 --> 01:10:02.368 D'you think you can recapture your youth by fuckin' it? 01:10:05.037 --> 01:10:07.832 You don't want to fuck me - you'll catch something cruel. 01:11:09.229 --> 01:11:10.147 Bonjour 01:11:11.315 --> 01:11:12.649 What's goin' on? What're you doin' 'ere? 01:11:13.442 --> 01:11:16.028 Well, you see. I was over 'ere, like this, 01:11:16.236 --> 01:11:17.696 but that didn't work for me, so I thought 01:11:17.947 --> 01:11:20.950 I'd try over here, but I don't think there's much future in this one either. 01:11:21.700 --> 01:11:24.036 Fuckin' 'ell! Have you got any suggestions? 01:11:26.455 --> 01:11:27.665 So what do you do now? 01:11:28.833 --> 01:11:29.917 I'm gonna get some breakfast 01:11:30.293 --> 01:11:32.337 I could do somethin' to eat Can I come with yer? 01:11:32.587 --> 01:11:33.630 Well, have you got any money? 01:11:33.734 --> 01:11:34.047 No 01:11:34.172 --> 01:11:35.340 How you're gonna pay for it? 01:11:37.467 --> 01:11:38.676 I'm not 01:11:40.845 --> 01:11:41.763 Well, I'm hungry 01:11:44.474 --> 01:11:45.517 Did you have to go and beat her up? 01:11:46.101 --> 01:11:47.185 I never beat 'er up 01:11:50.105 --> 01:11:51.273 You shagged her, though? 01:11:52.816 --> 01:11:53.463 No 01:12:01.283 --> 01:12:02.535 You don't believe me, do you? 01:12:05.413 --> 01:12:06.372 She's older than you 01:12:07.331 --> 01:12:07.999 Bollocks 01:12:08.374 --> 01:12:09.292 Poached egg. 01:12:13.379 --> 01:12:15.715 That skirt's a bit short, innit, love?. 'T's disgraceful 01:12:23.974 --> 01:12:24.933 What's this? 01:12:25.809 --> 01:12:27.227 That's where I'm gonna live 01:12:29.146 --> 01:12:29.813 Where is it? 01:12:31.940 --> 01:12:32.649 Ireland 01:12:33.484 --> 01:12:35.194 I've lived in a cottage before 01:12:35.486 --> 01:12:37.446 What, in one of your past lives? 01:12:39.031 --> 01:12:40.783 Yes, as a matter of fact 01:12:44.120 --> 01:12:45.788 Fuckin' shit-hole, innit? 01:12:50.731 --> 01:12:52.378 Don't waste your life 01:12:52.691 --> 01:12:53.692 What? 01:12:54.047 --> 01:12:56.091 Don't waste your life 01:13:12.066 --> 01:13:13.317 What time does this place close? 01:13:13.525 --> 01:13:14.443 Four o'clock 01:13:15.319 --> 01:13:18.197 Listen, can you tell where I can get somethin' to eat round here? 01:13:18.572 --> 01:13:19.281 What? 01:13:20.491 --> 01:13:22.159 - You've got a very nice smile - 'Ave I? 01:13:22.577 --> 01:13:23.202 Oh, yeah. 01:14:10.502 --> 01:14:11.544 Sorry, sir 01:14:20.053 --> 01:14:21.179 I'll take that, sir. 01:14:25.893 --> 01:14:27.061 Your lady companion's joinin' you, sir? 01:14:29.480 --> 01:14:32.107 No, - she can't make it today, pal, the old sciatica's 01:14:32.233 --> 01:14:33.025 playin' up an' everything, you know? 01:14:34.985 --> 01:14:35.486 Come on 01:14:36.821 --> 01:14:37.613 What? 01:14:39.824 --> 01:14:40.825 Out the car 01:14:41.492 --> 01:14:42.660 But I've only just got in the car. 01:14:42.827 --> 01:14:44.454 Get out of the fuckin' car!!! 01:14:46.122 --> 01:14:48.041 All right Parker, keep your 'air on. 01:14:58.593 --> 01:14:59.803 Well, that was lovely. 01:15:00.387 --> 01:15:01.263 Thank you 01:15:02.181 --> 01:15:03.640 Keep in touch 01:15:28.333 --> 01:15:29.334 Ooh, fuck 01:15:38.969 --> 01:15:40.012 'Oo are you? 01:15:40.846 --> 01:15:41.889 Sebastian Hawks. 01:15:42.639 --> 01:15:43.515 Nice to meet you 01:15:44.558 --> 01:15:45.851 Yeah, er, what're you doin' 'ere? 01:15:46.143 --> 01:15:47.895 I'm an acquaintance of Sandra's 01:15:48.479 --> 01:15:50.022 I've just popped round to say hallo 01:15:50.356 --> 01:15:52.149 Well, Sandra's away at the moment, actually 01:15:53.109 --> 01:15:55.820 Really? I hope you don't mind, 01:15:55.987 --> 01:15:57.113 but I helped myself to a beer 01:15:57.572 --> 01:16:00.867 Yeah, I noticed. Is that your champagne an' all? 01:16:02.076 --> 01:16:03.286 You like champagne, do you? 01:16:04.162 --> 01:16:06.206 Yeah. I do, as it 'appens. 01:16:06.915 --> 01:16:08.833 This is a very nice flat, don't you think? 01:16:09.626 --> 01:16:10.877 'Ow'd you get in 'ere? 01:16:11.253 --> 01:16:13.171 Tell me, d'you have any problems with the central heating? 01:16:13.380 --> 01:16:14.756 Oh, are you the plumber? 01:16:15.173 --> 01:16:16.967 Let's just say I've got a vested interest in the property 01:16:17.968 --> 01:16:19.720 Fuckin' 'ell, you're the landlord. 01:16:20.387 --> 01:16:21.847 I'd rather you thought of me as a friend 01:16:22.306 --> 01:16:23.307 Oh shit! 01:16:24.516 --> 01:16:26.435 What, is Sandra behind on the rent or somethin'? 01:16:26.727 --> 01:16:27.770 Was your tattoo painful? 01:16:27.978 --> 01:16:29.021 Yeah 01:16:31.983 --> 01:16:32.900 Good 01:16:35.486 --> 01:16:37.071 You're very beautiful, aren't you? 01:16:38.406 --> 01:16:39.157 Am I? 01:16:40.783 --> 01:16:42.786 In a quirky sort of way. 01:16:45.580 --> 01:16:46.706 Are you a nurse? 01:16:46.831 --> 01:16:48.667 Yeah. Psychiatric. 01:16:53.338 --> 01:16:55.215 These are a very fetching pair of tights 01:16:55.549 --> 01:16:58.093 Ah, you like them, do yer, Mr Landlord? 01:16:59.386 --> 01:17:01.055 Can we 'ave that champagne now, please? 01:17:01.263 --> 01:17:02.097 Did you buy them 01:17:02.264 --> 01:17:03.891 like this or are the holes self-inflicted? 01:17:05.142 --> 01:17:07.728 No. A spider spun them, and that's where he 'ad a tea-break. 01:17:09.605 --> 01:17:11.691 Fuckin' 'ell! That's a bit excessive, innit? 01:17:11.983 --> 01:17:13.568 I rather like this belt too 01:17:13.776 --> 01:17:15.653 Oh, God! 'Ere we go. 01:17:20.200 --> 01:17:21.951 Excuse me, where d'you think you're going? 01:17:22.077 --> 01:17:22.869 I'm goin' home 01:17:23.161 --> 01:17:24.162 What, are you leavin' me? 01:17:24.704 --> 01:17:26.915 I've come all this way to see you and you're goin'! I can't believe it, 01:17:27.123 --> 01:17:28.792 I'm stunned, I'm flabbergasted. 01:17:29.000 --> 01:17:30.460 Shall we get you a tissue? 01:17:30.669 --> 01:17:32.546 Sounds promisin'. Do you live nearby? 01:17:33.755 --> 01:17:34.715 I might do. 01:17:34.923 --> 01:17:36.842 I mean, is it within walking distance? 01:17:41.096 --> 01:17:43.599 No, 'cause you see, I've got this fascination with all things peripatetic. 01:17:43.808 --> 01:17:44.683 See you! 01:17:45.559 --> 01:17:46.769 I'm cheeky, aren't I? 01:17:49.355 --> 01:17:52.817 Have you stolen the teacosy? Love, people can see you wearin' that thing, 01:17:52.984 --> 01:17:54.944 are you not embarassed? No? 01:18:17.384 --> 01:18:18.510 Don't give up 01:18:30.815 --> 01:18:31.691 Put this on! 01:18:32.900 --> 01:18:36.571 Oh, what? We're gonna play doctors and nurses now, are we? 01:18:36.779 --> 01:18:37.822 Hurry up! 01:18:46.039 --> 01:18:47.207 Oh, this is ridiculous. 01:18:47.874 --> 01:18:50.669 Listen, I'm really sorry, right? 01:18:51.211 --> 01:18:52.880 But I've had a bit of a rough week, 01:18:53.130 --> 01:18:55.674 and I just don't think I can go through with this 01:18:57.301 --> 01:18:58.802 Oh, no! No! 01:19:02.515 --> 01:19:06.102 Fuck off! leave me alove! No! 01:19:10.857 --> 01:19:12.358 You fuckin' bastard!! 01:19:17.739 --> 01:19:18.990 D'you want some beans? 01:19:21.618 --> 01:19:22.661 Yeah, cheers. 01:19:24.204 --> 01:19:26.039 So, what would you be doin' now if I wasn't 'ere? 01:19:27.374 --> 01:19:28.500 Dunno 01:19:29.418 --> 01:19:31.545 Having a shower, relaxin' 01:19:32.337 --> 01:19:33.547 I could do with a shower myself 01:19:33.714 --> 01:19:35.090 I haven't washed for about a week 01:19:35.257 --> 01:19:37.051 As you've probably noticed 01:19:37.927 --> 01:19:39.345 Well, you can 'ave one if you like 01:19:40.346 --> 01:19:41.222 Are you sure? 01:19:41.847 --> 01:19:44.350 Yeah. Bathroom's just here 01:19:47.061 --> 01:19:48.062 Fuckin' 'ell 01:19:49.480 --> 01:19:51.441 What did I do to deserve you, love? 01:19:53.109 --> 01:19:54.110 Just press this button 01:19:57.697 --> 01:19:58.740 Now listen 01:19:59.824 --> 01:20:02.953 You're not going to creep up on me with a big knife dressed up as your mother, are you? 01:20:03.620 --> 01:20:04.454 No. 01:20:10.002 --> 01:20:12.129 Although it looks like you already are dressed up as your mother 01:20:25.101 --> 01:20:26.310 Can I have me bag? 01:20:27.603 --> 01:20:29.188 It's got me duck in it. 01:20:36.363 --> 01:20:37.155 Ta 01:21:09.939 --> 01:21:11.524 Oh dear 01:21:13.151 --> 01:21:15.320 'Oo lives 'ere, then? Zeus? 01:21:18.615 --> 01:21:20.283 Is all this stuff yours? 01:21:21.284 --> 01:21:21.994 No. 01:21:22.703 --> 01:21:24.162 All these pseudo-Doric midgets 01:21:24.413 --> 01:21:25.914 with their novelty underpants 01:21:26.039 --> 01:21:28.751 Oh, look at this one, touchin' time with a bargepole 01:21:29.126 --> 01:21:30.461 I wouldn't 01:21:34.882 --> 01:21:37.093 Is 'e a home-owner-sexual, yeah? 01:21:37.843 --> 01:21:39.053 What do you think? 01:21:39.846 --> 01:21:40.930 Where is 'e? 01:21:41.347 --> 01:21:42.223 They're in America 01:21:42.598 --> 01:21:43.516 They? 01:21:43.766 --> 01:21:44.767 Yeah. 01:21:45.018 --> 01:21:46.144 When are they gettin' back? 01:21:46.311 --> 01:21:47.270 Dunno 01:21:48.813 --> 01:21:50.440 And they're just letting you stop 'ere, for nothin, yeah? 01:21:53.818 --> 01:21:54.819 Yeah. I don't know them 01:21:55.737 --> 01:21:58.031 I don't know, I find this all a bit sad 01:21:58.240 --> 01:21:59.032 Why? 01:21:59.950 --> 01:22:02.244 No, I don't mean that to sound homophobic 01:22:02.744 --> 01:22:04.329 I mean, I like The Iliad 01:22:05.330 --> 01:22:07.416 and The Odyssey. D'you get that? 01:22:08.459 --> 01:22:09.501 No 01:22:13.130 --> 01:22:15.633 So, 'ave you read many of these books? 01:22:15.675 --> 01:22:16.801 No, I haven't. 01:22:18.511 --> 01:22:20.096 Oh, I've read quite a few 01:22:22.140 --> 01:22:23.016 Oh, look! 01:22:23.308 --> 01:22:24.517 D'you get it now? 01:22:25.852 --> 01:22:26.853 D'you know this? 01:22:28.605 --> 01:22:30.815 I bet you do. You've most likely done it at school 01:22:30.982 --> 01:22:32.025 You just can't remember 01:22:32.317 --> 01:22:33.985 You know, like, Achilles' heel 01:22:34.194 --> 01:22:36.738 the Wooden Horse, Helen of Troy. You know them? 01:22:37.447 --> 01:22:38.282 Yeah. 01:22:38.907 --> 01:22:39.741 yeah, well, that's all it is. 01:22:42.035 --> 01:22:43.412 Good stuff. Cyclops. 01:22:43.704 --> 01:22:44.538 Oh, hallo, 01:22:45.497 --> 01:22:47.583 it's Pizza Deliveryman 01:22:54.548 --> 01:22:55.591 D'you want those beans? 01:22:57.218 --> 01:22:58.302 Oh, yeah, I forgot 01:23:30.044 --> 01:23:32.713 Sebastian Hawks. Good evening. 01:23:35.258 --> 01:23:36.968 Very nice to meet you, Louise. 01:23:37.635 --> 01:23:39.178 Oh, very nice to meet you 01:23:40.013 --> 01:23:41.681 I've heard a lot about you 01:23:48.229 --> 01:23:49.147 Sophie? 01:23:50.857 --> 01:23:52.067 Yeah? Yeah, I'm in 'ere 01:23:53.819 --> 01:23:55.904 - Oh, are you all right? - I've never been better 01:23:56.488 --> 01:23:59.158 We've had a very interesting afternoon, haven't we, Sophie? 01:23:59.408 --> 01:24:00.951 It's been fascinatin'! 01:24:14.632 --> 01:24:16.467 For services rendered 01:24:17.260 --> 01:24:18.678 Fuck off! 01:24:22.390 --> 01:24:23.600 'Oo's your friend? 01:24:24.059 --> 01:24:25.268 'E's the landlord, in''e? 01:24:25.477 --> 01:24:26.853 'Oose landlord? 01:24:26.978 --> 01:24:27.938 Our fuckin' landlord 01:24:28.104 --> 01:24:29.940 - Oh, get out o'town! - Ask 'im 01:24:32.484 --> 01:24:33.652 What you wearin' Sandra's uniform for? 01:24:34.486 --> 01:24:36.071 I don't want to talk about it, all right? 01:24:37.448 --> 01:24:38.615 Well, d'you wanna cup o'tea? 01:24:38.668 --> 01:24:39.241 Yeah 01:24:45.247 --> 01:24:46.957 So,'ave you been sittin' on 'is face all afternoon? 01:24:47.375 --> 01:24:48.334 I don't need this 01:24:48.876 --> 01:24:50.545 Jesus Christ, I get 'ome from work, 01:24:50.795 --> 01:24:53.256 all I want to do is to put me feet up and watch the telly, 01:24:53.464 --> 01:24:56.175 not get involved in one of your orgies. D'you know what I mean? 01:25:01.765 --> 01:25:03.308 What 'appened to your arm? 01:25:07.062 --> 01:25:09.356 Sophie, what's been goin' on? 01:25:11.400 --> 01:25:12.859 Have you put the kettle on? 01:25:13.485 --> 01:25:13.902 Yeah 01:25:14.862 --> 01:25:16.655 Any chance of a coffee, Louise? 01:25:17.406 --> 01:25:18.490 Yeah, sure 01:25:20.951 --> 01:25:22.495 These are a very nice pair of shorts 01:25:22.703 --> 01:25:24.705 Would you take your 'ands off me, please? 01:25:25.748 --> 01:25:27.041 I apologise 01:25:31.379 --> 01:25:34.173 Right, pal. 'Ere's your clothes, get your kit on and sling yer 'ook. 01:25:34.424 --> 01:25:35.466 'Ere's your shoes, mate 01:25:40.388 --> 01:25:42.015 Hope I haven't given you AIDS, Sophie. 01:25:42.328 --> 01:25:44.893 - Jesus Christ - Fuckin' 'ell!! Are you serious? 01:25:45.769 --> 01:25:46.853 Merely jesting. 01:25:47.104 --> 01:25:47.979 Very funny. 01:25:48.647 --> 01:25:50.482 Mind you, I think AIDS is rather healthy in its way. 01:25:50.649 --> 01:25:51.567 You what? 01:25:51.817 --> 01:25:53.735 I realize that's not the fashionable thing to say, of course. 01:25:53.861 --> 01:25:54.903 No. It's not. 01:25:55.195 --> 01:25:57.698 But the world is overcrowded, isn't it? It could do with a bit of pruning. 01:25:58.365 --> 01:25:59.700 Fuckin' better be jokin'. 01:26:00.618 --> 01:26:01.994 You're not going to have children, are you, Louise? 01:26:02.411 --> 01:26:03.996 I might do, one day. 01:26:04.330 --> 01:26:05.998 I loathe children, I must say 01:26:06.207 --> 01:26:07.959 I bet they're not too keen on you, neither 01:26:10.503 --> 01:26:13.214 - I'm sure you like fucking, don't you, Louise? - Are you goin'? 01:26:13.423 --> 01:26:14.591 I'm rather enjoying myself, actually 01:26:14.841 --> 01:26:16.634 - Well, we're not - That's a pity 01:26:17.051 --> 01:26:21.181 Look, you may be the landlord from hell, but that doesn't give you the right to lie on our couch 01:26:22.474 --> 01:26:23.391 Whose couch? 01:26:23.600 --> 01:26:25.060 D'you want me to phone the police? 01:26:25.227 --> 01:26:26.311 Be my guest 01:26:27.646 --> 01:26:28.730 Right 01:26:34.695 --> 01:26:36.906 - Listen, I can't 'ave them in 'ere? - Why not? 01:26:37.156 --> 01:26:39.492 They gonna take one look at 'im in 'is suit and one look at us 01:26:39.784 --> 01:26:40.951 and 'oo d'you think they're gonna believe? 01:26:41.160 --> 01:26:43.245 There's fuckin' dope all over the place 01:26:43.537 --> 01:26:45.832 Well, we're just windin' him up - 'e's loving this. 01:26:46.582 --> 01:26:47.834 What are we gonna do? 01:26:53.256 --> 01:26:54.924 It's very peaceful in 'ere, isn't it? 01:26:56.760 --> 01:26:58.136 I suppose so 01:27:01.556 --> 01:27:02.724 Are you warm enough? 01:27:03.767 --> 01:27:05.477 Yeah, this is nice - thanks 01:27:07.104 --> 01:27:10.023 It's funny, 'cos the silence usually freaks me out 01:27:11.275 --> 01:27:12.943 You start to pick up on all the small sounds, 01:27:13.152 --> 01:27:15.446 you know what I mean? Like that clock 01:27:19.575 --> 01:27:21.744 I hate that fuckin' clock 01:27:22.119 --> 01:27:23.496 Of course you do - it's a clock 01:27:26.249 --> 01:27:27.208 Is it all right if I stay here 01:27:27.375 --> 01:27:28.501 tonight? 01:27:33.256 --> 01:27:34.257 'Ve you ever 'ad 01:27:34.424 --> 01:27:35.258 a dog? 01:27:37.928 --> 01:27:38.720 No. 01:27:41.598 --> 01:27:42.557 I don't like dogs 01:27:43.308 --> 01:27:44.101 Why? 01:27:44.935 --> 01:27:46.645 Well, they're either vicious or daft 01:27:48.897 --> 01:27:50.274 - Why, 'ave you? - Yeah 01:27:51.775 --> 01:27:52.651 Is it dead now? 01:27:52.776 --> 01:27:53.652 Yeah. 01:27:54.612 --> 01:27:55.654 Did you bury it? 01:27:56.363 --> 01:27:58.449 I dunno, me dad took it 01:28:00.576 --> 01:28:03.704 And what about you? Would you like to be buried or cremated? 01:28:04.038 --> 01:28:05.081 I couldn't give a shit 01:28:09.919 --> 01:28:11.004 I 'ad this dream the other night, about these two skeletons 'aving a fuck. 01:28:11.254 --> 01:28:16.551 It was a right bloody racket - woke me up. 01:28:18.762 --> 01:28:20.138 'Ave you got a photo of your mum? 01:28:25.018 --> 01:28:26.019 What, on me? 01:28:26.436 --> 01:28:27.354 Yeah 01:28:29.565 --> 01:28:30.170 No 01:28:31.442 --> 01:28:34.528 But I think you might find one over at the newsagent's, on the top shelf 01:28:36.822 --> 01:28:38.032 D'you want some beans? 01:28:47.500 --> 01:28:49.002 You've got a very sad face 01:28:49.169 --> 01:28:50.170 'Ave I? 01:28:51.337 --> 01:28:52.213 It's all right, I mean, 01:28:52.380 --> 01:28:53.840 I find that attractive 01:28:56.384 --> 01:28:57.803 But that's me 01:29:00.847 --> 01:29:02.933 So, 'ave you got a boyfriend or anythin'? 01:29:14.820 --> 01:29:16.155 What are gonna do for Christmas? 01:29:18.616 --> 01:29:20.326 I don't know. What're you gonna do? 01:29:23.287 --> 01:29:24.205 You all right? 01:29:28.168 --> 01:29:29.002 What's the matter? 01:29:29.127 --> 01:29:30.337 Fuck off! 01:29:59.158 --> 01:30:00.410 What's up love? 01:30:02.829 --> 01:30:04.080 Was it something I said? 01:30:04.330 --> 01:30:05.415 I want you to go 01:30:05.832 --> 01:30:06.708 Why? 01:30:06.833 --> 01:30:08.334 Can you go, please?! 01:30:09.628 --> 01:30:10.712 Is it 'cos I don't like dogs? 01:30:11.254 --> 01:30:12.589 Get out!! 01:30:13.757 --> 01:30:15.092 I don't quite follow, love 01:30:15.258 --> 01:30:16.718 Just fuck off!! 01:30:18.345 --> 01:30:19.346 Oh, I see 01:30:22.224 --> 01:30:26.896 Well, perhaps I was jumpin' to conclusions, but I got the impression I could kip down on the sofa or somethin' 01:30:27.646 --> 01:30:29.815 - Go! - Go where? 01:30:29.940 --> 01:30:31.359 'Ave you got any suggestions? 'Cos it's like 01:30:31.525 --> 01:30:33.527 a fuckin' Eskimo's grave out there. 01:30:35.863 --> 01:30:36.781 All right, I'm going 01:31:28.460 --> 01:31:30.170 It's not easy, is it? 01:31:33.632 --> 01:31:34.675 D'you find that? 01:31:45.394 --> 01:31:46.771 Well, just goes to show you 01:31:47.855 --> 01:31:49.690 that no matter how many books you read, 01:31:49.815 --> 01:31:53.111 there's some things in this world that you never, ever, ever, ever, 01:31:53.277 --> 01:31:56.364 ever fuckin' understand. 01:32:16.468 --> 01:32:18.637 Thank you for the tea, and the bath, 01:32:18.971 --> 01:32:19.805 and the booze. 01:32:21.640 --> 01:32:22.850 And the beans. 01:32:30.817 --> 01:32:32.652 And listen love, 01:32:32.944 --> 01:32:34.779 I hope that when you're tucked up tonight 01:32:35.029 --> 01:32:38.074 all snug and warm underneath your tear-sodden fuckin' duvet 01:32:38.241 --> 01:32:40.493 and your ankle-length Emily Bronte windin'-sheet 01:32:40.660 --> 01:32:43.580 that you spare a thought for me, with my head in a puddle of cold dog's piss, 01:32:43.830 --> 01:32:45.707 An' I hope that you dream about me. 01:32:46.124 --> 01:32:48.001 An' I hope that you wake up screaming. 01:32:50.128 --> 01:32:52.047 And I hope that all your fuckin' children 01:32:52.256 --> 01:32:56.301 are born blind, bow-legged, hare-lipped, homeless hunchbacks!! 01:33:11.025 --> 01:33:12.819 'Ave you ever 'ad an abortion? 01:33:15.113 --> 01:33:15.864 'Ave you? 01:33:16.072 --> 01:33:18.324 No. I thought I was pregnant once. 01:33:18.950 --> 01:33:19.993 Would you 'ave 'ad one? 01:33:20.201 --> 01:33:23.371 Will, In the end, it turned out I wasn't, and 'e left me anyway, so... 01:33:24.790 --> 01:33:26.416 I wanted to keep mine 01:33:27.000 --> 01:33:28.126 What happened? 01:33:28.752 --> 01:33:31.630 All my mates said I couldn't look after a baby 01:33:32.923 --> 01:33:34.508 Too fuckin' right. 01:33:34.800 --> 01:33:36.260 Did it make you feel shitty? 01:33:37.177 --> 01:33:38.470 It was a nightmare. 01:33:39.513 --> 01:33:41.265 I really loved 'im 01:33:43.059 --> 01:33:44.393 'E was a philosopher 01:33:44.560 --> 01:33:45.811 Where was this? 01:33:46.103 --> 01:33:46.896 Paris. 01:33:48.356 --> 01:33:50.775 You should've seen the state of 'is girlfriend 01:33:53.236 --> 01:33:55.447 'Ad one when I was fifteen, an' all. 01:33:55.655 --> 01:33:57.115 Oh, Jesus, Sophie! 01:33:58.033 --> 01:33:59.826 I think that one was worse for my mum, 01:34:00.035 --> 01:34:02.078 fuckin' drama she made out of it 01:34:05.207 --> 01:34:08.210 I could've been married by now, with a four-year-old 01:34:09.169 --> 01:34:10.587 D'you want to get married? 01:34:11.588 --> 01:34:12.881 Don't know 01:34:15.634 --> 01:34:19.138 Just 'cos you 'ave a kid with someone doesn't mean they're gonna stick around. 01:34:19.847 --> 01:34:23.267 My dad didn't. 'E couldn't fuckin' wait to get out. 01:34:23.601 --> 01:34:25.895 Well, don't know if I want to get married, 01:34:26.062 --> 01:34:28.731 but I wouldn't say no to a proper relationship 01:34:29.649 --> 01:34:31.734 What is a proper relationship? 01:34:32.986 --> 01:34:36.322 Livin' with someone 'oo talks to you after they've bonked you. 01:34:38.199 --> 01:34:40.494 I don't know what they want from you 'alf the time. 01:34:42.037 --> 01:34:43.413 What they start off liking you for 01:34:43.580 --> 01:34:45.374 they end up hatin' you for. 01:34:46.333 --> 01:34:49.211 Don't like you if you're strong, don't like you if you're weak; 01:34:49.962 --> 01:34:52.881 hate you if you're clever, hate you if you're stupid. 01:34:54.300 --> 01:34:55.718 They don't know what they want. 01:35:01.349 --> 01:35:03.851 D'you think that bastard's fucked off yet? 01:35:05.603 --> 01:35:07.313 Yeah, he musta done by now. 01:35:46.312 --> 01:35:47.814 Is this a stick-up? 01:35:49.941 --> 01:35:52.235 - Sorry - you must get that all the time, yeah? - Yeah 01:35:52.527 --> 01:35:53.695 Just got it again. 01:35:55.864 --> 01:35:58.575 So is this your job, or a nice little hobby you've got for yourself? 01:36:00.369 --> 01:36:01.703 You're a lovely mover! 01:36:10.588 --> 01:36:12.256 - This your van, yeah? - Yeah 01:36:12.882 --> 01:36:15.176 It's like, er, I dunno, top o' the range. 01:36:15.801 --> 01:36:16.719 Very nice 01:36:17.053 --> 01:36:18.554 Are you goin' up the road? 01:36:19.013 --> 01:36:19.847 D'you wanna lift? 01:36:21.099 --> 01:36:22.308 Is that all right with you? 01:36:23.184 --> 01:36:24.102 Cheers 01:36:24.644 --> 01:36:27.897 It's just, I've been walkin' round the streets all night, you know what I mean? 01:36:28.148 --> 01:36:30.817 These fuckin' feet are on their last legs, I'm telling you. 01:36:35.489 --> 01:36:37.282 So, 'ow much d'you earn for doin' this? 01:36:37.407 --> 01:36:38.950 It's none of your fuckin' business 01:36:39.368 --> 01:36:43.330 I mean, is the pay as substantial as say, the wages of sin? 01:36:43.664 --> 01:36:44.706 You know what I mean? Are you with me? 01:36:45.416 --> 01:36:47.751 Listen, Captain, is it all right if I 'ave a go at doin' this, yeah? 01:36:49.587 --> 01:36:51.797 Oh! God love you! 01:36:52.006 --> 01:36:54.550 I mean, or does it take like thousands of years of like 01:36:54.717 --> 01:36:55.968 state-subsidized government training to do this clobber, yeah? 01:36:56.177 --> 01:36:58.262 You've gotta slap on like copious quantities 01:36:58.471 --> 01:37:01.015 of the old industrial sputum there. 01:37:01.599 --> 01:37:02.058 Beg your puddin' 01:37:03.351 --> 01:37:05.603 It's a wonderful career opportunity for me - 01:37:06.062 --> 01:37:08.148 you know what I mean? I'm not gonna play the joker on this one. 01:37:09.295 --> 01:37:10.337 - Shift - It's all goin' very well 01:37:11.276 --> 01:37:12.736 Shift out the fuckin' way, will you? 01:37:12.944 --> 01:37:15.572 No, I like Laurel and Hardy, you know, although apparently they didn't get on in real life, 01:37:15.822 --> 01:37:18.158 You know, another illusion shattered. 01:37:19.952 --> 01:37:22.830 Sorry about that pal, it's just I've 'ad a lot of bad experience with walls, 01:37:23.038 --> 01:37:25.457 you know, what with talking to them and climbing them, 01:37:25.624 --> 01:37:28.002 and me dad's driven me up a good few of them in 'is time, you know what I mean? 01:37:28.210 --> 01:37:30.880 But I think I've got the secret. The saucy little secret, 01:37:31.088 --> 01:37:34.216 this solipsistic, sagacious little secret is just, you got - you just gotta 01:37:34.425 --> 01:37:37.345 bang your fuckin' head against them! 01:37:37.428 --> 01:37:39.555 Just crack the old pate. 01:37:40.014 --> 01:37:41.307 Are you with me?! 'Ave you got it? 01:37:41.557 --> 01:37:45.061 And that's it, that's the key to enlightenment, which is, it's like that's why, 01:37:45.270 --> 01:37:50.191 it's like such a potent motif of civilization - it's the wall. 01:37:50.275 --> 01:37:53.820 It's like the, the Great Wall of China, and the Wall of Jericho 01:37:54.029 --> 01:37:56.156 and the Berlin Wall, and the Wailin' Wall 01:37:56.323 --> 01:37:58.575 Now you see the Jews, they've almost got it, an't they? 01:37:58.784 --> 01:38:01.537 What with the old rockin' and that, and you know, just that six inches away 01:38:01.745 --> 01:38:04.623 and they'd be there, they'd have won the fuckin' race, they'll be there, you with me? 01:38:04.832 --> 01:38:07.793 What is all this, anyway? What are you doin'? Cancel everythin'. 01:38:08.085 --> 01:38:10.504 In the beginnin' there was the Word, and the word was 'cancelled' 01:38:10.671 --> 01:38:13.799 D'you get like satisfaction out of this? D'you think you're makin' a contribution? 01:38:14.008 --> 01:38:17.303 You're like sort of publicly promulgatin' vacuities? Are you with me? 01:38:18.221 --> 01:38:19.472 Fuckin' hell!! 01:38:22.684 --> 01:38:25.311 Oh, that's it! Blank it all out! Blank it all out 01:38:25.520 --> 01:38:28.106 till you just atrophy and die of fuckin' indifference. 01:38:28.315 --> 01:38:30.400 Can I show you somethin', pal? You see that at the top of your legs? 01:38:30.650 --> 01:38:33.862 That's your arse and that's your fuckin' elbow! Do you want to write it down or s- 01:38:39.076 --> 01:38:40.869 'Oo's that supposed to be, me dad? 01:38:41.078 --> 01:38:44.582 You wanna watch that, mate - I've got a dicky sacrum 'ere 01:38:44.790 --> 01:38:46.208 Shit! 01:38:48.669 --> 01:38:52.215 Can you come back here? Did I upset you? 01:38:59.389 --> 01:39:03.309 You've got me bag! You fuckin' tosser!! 01:39:03.685 --> 01:39:04.352 You f- 01:39:09.191 --> 01:39:10.233 Fuck!! 01:39:11.610 --> 01:39:14.905 Oh, listen!! Does anybody mind if I scream 'ere? 01:39:14.947 --> 01:39:16.698 Is that OK with you all? 'Cos I'd feel better 01:39:16.907 --> 01:39:18.492 for it - won't take long! 01:39:23.289 --> 01:39:24.331 Fuck 01:40:39.577 --> 01:40:40.411 'Os's that? 01:41:08.190 --> 01:41:09.816 Oh Jesus! 01:41:11.401 --> 01:41:13.028 What's been happenin' to you? 01:41:13.195 --> 01:41:15.531 Will you shut up, for God's sake? 01:41:22.371 --> 01:41:23.831 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry 01:41:24.665 --> 01:41:25.917 Just give us a fag 01:41:28.044 --> 01:41:29.462 Fuckin' comedian 01:41:39.222 --> 01:41:41.725 - It's not my fault - What's not your fault? 01:41:44.811 --> 01:41:45.979 Where are you goin'? 01:41:46.229 --> 01:41:47.773 I just want to go to bed 01:41:47.981 --> 01:41:49.733 Be quiet! 01:41:50.109 --> 01:41:51.610 I fuckin' walked 'ere 01:41:51.819 --> 01:41:52.778 Where from? 01:41:56.782 --> 01:41:57.783 Johnny. 01:42:01.245 --> 01:42:02.830 I'm gonna be sick 01:42:14.509 --> 01:42:16.428 Fuckin' 'ell, what's 'appened to 'im? 01:42:16.636 --> 01:42:17.721 I dunno 01:42:17.929 --> 01:42:19.306 Johnny, are you all right, Johnny? 01:42:19.514 --> 01:42:20.766 Get off! 01:42:25.354 --> 01:42:26.813 Is 'e still 'ere? 01:42:27.564 --> 01:42:28.690 I dunno 01:43:01.975 --> 01:43:03.894 Right, we'd better get him into bed 01:43:04.561 --> 01:43:06.605 You take that end, I'll take this end 01:43:06.980 --> 01:43:07.773 OK, don't push me, right? 01:43:07.940 --> 01:43:09.358 I'm not pushin' you! 01:43:12.069 --> 01:43:13.571 Careful, that's 'is bad leg 01:43:13.779 --> 01:43:14.822 Well, what d'you want me to do? 01:43:15.030 --> 01:43:16.198 After three 01:43:17.408 --> 01:43:19.160 One, two, three 01:43:21.537 --> 01:43:23.331 I wanna go! 01:44:11.715 --> 01:44:12.841 I know 01:44:14.801 --> 01:44:16.052 I know, you told me 01:44:20.015 --> 01:44:22.726 I'm not here yet. I'm still wet 01:44:25.896 --> 01:44:27.356 What did she mean? 01:44:29.608 --> 01:44:31.402 Why not me brother? 01:44:36.949 --> 01:44:38.618 Will it be quiet now? 01:44:47.210 --> 01:44:48.086 Are we goin'? 01:44:48.878 --> 01:44:49.546 Fuck! 01:45:06.146 --> 01:45:06.981 Who's this? 01:45:07.147 --> 01:45:08.232 It's all right, 'e's a friend of mine 01:45:09.358 --> 01:45:13.654 What extraordinary friends you have. He's only got one sock on. 01:45:13.988 --> 01:45:14.822 Shut up! 01:45:15.364 --> 01:45:18.242 You seem a bit tense, Sophie. Would you like a massage? 01:45:18.451 --> 01:45:19.535 Are you the doctor? 01:45:19.744 --> 01:45:20.495 Pardon? 01:45:20.703 --> 01:45:21.788 Is he the doctor? 01:45:21.913 --> 01:45:23.915 You're rather disgusting, aren't you? 01:45:29.504 --> 01:45:31.339 You're not crying, are you, Louise? 01:45:31.548 --> 01:45:33.675 Oh, listen, when are you gonna fuck off? 01:45:33.884 --> 01:45:36.261 This 'as got nothin' to do with you, right? 01:45:37.846 --> 01:45:38.764 No! No! 01:45:41.934 --> 01:45:42.893 Leave me alone! 01:45:43.602 --> 01:45:44.728 Fuckin' 'ell, me leg! 01:45:47.857 --> 01:45:48.774 You don't know 01:45:48.983 --> 01:45:50.568 Aren't people pathetic? 01:45:57.158 --> 01:45:58.826 Right. I'm going to beddy-byes. 01:46:06.293 --> 01:46:09.045 If anyone wishes to join me, I'll be under the duvet 01:46:16.637 --> 01:46:17.888 Are you all right? 01:46:18.097 --> 01:46:19.139 Yeah. Are you? 01:46:19.431 --> 01:46:20.391 Yeah. 01:46:25.312 --> 01:46:26.772 Come on, I'll give you a hand. 01:46:27.440 --> 01:46:28.941 I'm all right, I walked 'ere. 01:46:53.759 --> 01:46:55.093 Is it 'ere? 01:46:55.886 --> 01:46:56.887 Yeah. 01:46:59.306 --> 01:47:00.557 'Oo's that? 01:47:00.849 --> 01:47:01.851 Clancy. 01:47:02.518 --> 01:47:03.853 I thought so. 01:47:06.063 --> 01:47:07.440 I used to know you, didn't I? 01:47:08.107 --> 01:47:09.108 Yeah. 01:47:18.284 --> 01:47:20.954 "Take me back to Manchester 01:47:21.538 --> 01:47:24.124 when it's raining. 01:47:25.041 --> 01:47:29.755 I want to wet me feet in Albert Square. 01:47:30.672 --> 01:47:36.095 I'm all agog For a good, thick fog. 01:47:36.720 --> 01:47:38.597 I don't like the sun, 01:47:38.806 --> 01:47:42.101 I like it raining cats and dogs! 01:47:42.768 --> 01:47:48.191 I want to smell the odours of the Irwell. 01:47:48.900 --> 01:47:52.945 I want to feel the soot get in me 'air, 01:47:54.447 --> 01:47:57.158 Oh, I don't want to roam. 01:47:57.367 --> 01:48:00.495 I want to get back 'ome 01:48:01.121 --> 01:48:04.749 to rainy Manchester" 01:48:09.296 --> 01:48:10.464 I've got an 'ard-on. 01:49:20.370 --> 01:49:21.121 What's...? 01:49:25.584 --> 01:49:27.169 What are you...? 01:49:29.004 --> 01:49:31.882 This is...It's disgusting! 01:49:34.176 --> 01:49:35.427 Nobody, in my.... 01:49:35.928 --> 01:49:37.054 Who's 'e? 01:49:38.222 --> 01:49:39.807 You've got your boots on! She's... 01:49:42.393 --> 01:49:43.686 And what's this doing? 01:49:46.147 --> 01:49:50.652 This is something I can't... I don't.... 01:49:54.030 --> 01:49:57.742 It's not...I just don't need all this...palaver. 01:49:59.744 --> 01:50:01.246 Oh, shit! 01:50:14.301 --> 01:50:15.636 Ok, who's Jeremy ? 01:50:16.470 --> 01:50:18.347 - Who's Jeremy ? - What you mean? 01:50:18.848 --> 01:50:20.933 Sandra! What a nice surprise! 01:50:21.100 --> 01:50:22.518 What are you doing here? 01:50:22.685 --> 01:50:23.811 How was Zimbabwe? 01:50:24.228 --> 01:50:25.313 Shift! 01:50:26.522 --> 01:50:27.482 Morning, Louise. 01:50:27.649 --> 01:50:29.609 - Where's Jeremy ? - 'Oo's Jeremy ? 01:50:29.901 --> 01:50:31.111 These are Jeremy's 01:50:31.277 --> 01:50:32.570 That's Sebastian's. 01:50:32.696 --> 01:50:36.908 No, look. Jeremy Smart. Jeremy Smart. Jeremy G. Smart. 01:50:37.117 --> 01:50:38.368 Well, I've never 'eard of him. 01:50:40.412 --> 01:50:44.208 Sebastian. Who - Are you Jeremy G. Smart ? 01:50:45.334 --> 01:50:46.168 Are you? 01:50:46.919 --> 01:50:49.004 Johnny! Johnny, wake up 01:50:49.296 --> 01:50:50.047 Just leave 'im 01:50:50.214 --> 01:50:52.341 Oh, for fuck's sake, Sophie, Sandra's back. 01:50:52.550 --> 01:50:54.093 - What day is it? - It's Friday 01:50:54.260 --> 01:50:55.052 Fuck this 01:50:55.344 --> 01:50:56.595 Look at 'is eye 01:50:56.700 --> 01:50:57.430 Christ 01:50:57.513 --> 01:50:59.056 Well, he can lie down in my room - oh, God! 01:51:00.516 --> 01:51:02.727 What're you doin'? 'E's not 'arming anyone 01:51:02.894 --> 01:51:04.228 'Ave you seen the state of 'er? 01:51:04.729 --> 01:51:06.231 - Johnny! - I'm here, Johnny 01:51:06.439 --> 01:51:07.357 Morning, everyone 01:51:07.565 --> 01:51:09.901 I would, actually, like to have some kind of 01:51:10.235 --> 01:51:12.362 explanation for all this, because... 01:51:13.196 --> 01:51:14.155 - Having fun? - Can you put these on, please? 01:51:14.573 --> 01:51:17.576 Sophie and I had a fuck on your bed yesterday afternoon, Sandra. 01:51:19.536 --> 01:51:22.414 - She was very good, I must say - You are just...filth! - Not as good as you, though 01:51:22.998 --> 01:51:25.626 You lying...nastiness! 01:51:27.378 --> 01:51:28.671 We must do it again sometime 01:51:32.967 --> 01:51:34.218 Will you...? 01:51:35.052 --> 01:51:36.596 How can you...? 01:51:37.722 --> 01:51:38.848 Everything! 01:51:41.351 --> 01:51:42.852 I can't cope with this 01:51:43.061 --> 01:51:44.854 You've got five minutes 01:51:45.438 --> 01:51:48.441 Five minutes to get your things on and get the hell... 01:51:48.650 --> 01:51:50.944 I shouldn't worry about things so much, if I were you 01:51:52.821 --> 01:51:55.240 I'd forgotten what a beautiful bottom you've got, Sandra 01:51:55.407 --> 01:51:56.366 Two minutes 01:52:01.288 --> 01:52:02.831 Marvellous tits! 01:52:05.751 --> 01:52:08.671 Listen, Sandra, I'm really sorry. We weren't expectin' you back. 01:52:10.548 --> 01:52:11.882 I fail to...why... 01:52:12.174 --> 01:52:13.259 It's a pigsty ... it's... 01:52:13.801 --> 01:52:14.844 I know - it just got out of hand 01:52:15.052 --> 01:52:17.138 Obviously. And what's all that? 01:52:17.346 --> 01:52:19.307 'E's a friend of mine - Look, can I make you a cup o'tea? 01:52:19.515 --> 01:52:22.143 I don't want tea... I don't want... 01:52:22.435 --> 01:52:24.854 I just want... My journey was... 01:52:25.063 --> 01:52:26.106 He's not very well! 01:52:26.314 --> 01:52:27.232 What's the matter with 'im? 01:52:27.440 --> 01:52:30.610 'E's got a lump on his face the size of a boiled egg an' 'he won't wake up 01:52:40.412 --> 01:52:41.622 Did he do this? 01:52:41.830 --> 01:52:43.666 - 'Oo ? - Sebastian - Jeremy? 01:52:43.916 --> 01:52:45.626 You never warned me about 'im, did you? 01:52:45.834 --> 01:52:46.627 What are you talking about? 01:52:46.794 --> 01:52:49.797 Fuckin' lettin' 'imself in with the keys! Bastard! 01:52:49.964 --> 01:52:50.881 I don't... 01:52:52.049 --> 01:52:53.509 Right. Let's get 01:52:53.718 --> 01:52:54.594 this shoe off. 01:52:56.471 --> 01:52:59.432 Have you ever had smoked salmon after making love, Louise? 01:53:00.058 --> 01:53:01.184 Don't like smoked salmon 01:53:01.768 --> 01:53:04.771 I think you should try it. It's rather wonderful. 01:53:05.355 --> 01:53:07.148 Will you undo your flies, Sebastian? 01:53:11.111 --> 01:53:12.237 Would you like me to? 01:53:19.077 --> 01:53:20.037 Honest. 01:53:42.227 --> 01:53:44.938 Or d'you not want me to slice your prick off and shove it up your arse? 01:53:56.742 --> 01:53:57.701 Maggot dick! 01:54:09.130 --> 01:54:10.590 Could you pass me that pillow, please? 01:54:10.798 --> 01:54:12.341 - I can't move, Sandra - Here you go 01:54:12.717 --> 01:54:14.969 You are worse than useless 01:54:15.136 --> 01:54:17.639 Ooh, are y'all right? You don't think it's broken, do you? 01:54:17.889 --> 01:54:19.015 No, 'e can move it. 01:54:19.516 --> 01:54:20.850 You can do that, can't you? 01:54:21.476 --> 01:54:22.978 Why would I want to do that? 01:54:23.228 --> 01:54:26.189 Don't even... Not in my room, Sophie. 01:54:26.398 --> 01:54:27.858 I need a fag 01:54:28.150 --> 01:54:30.277 I don't care. Cop hold o'that. 01:54:30.527 --> 01:54:32.029 Just don't start, right? 01:54:32.487 --> 01:54:36.450 It really is beyond me the way you girls choose to live your lives 01:54:37.743 --> 01:54:39.703 My mind just boggles 01:54:40.955 --> 01:54:42.373 'E's gone back to sleep 01:54:45.084 --> 01:54:46.210 Was that the front door? 01:54:46.752 --> 01:54:47.628 'E's gone 01:54:47.795 --> 01:54:48.629 Thank God 01:54:58.765 --> 01:54:59.933 Go slowly, Johnny. 01:55:00.183 --> 01:55:02.894 Now what you two must do is take this one to Casualty 01:55:03.061 --> 01:55:06.148 and make sure he gets himself looked at, 'fore he goes home. 01:55:06.398 --> 01:55:07.065 I'm gonna be sick. 01:55:07.190 --> 01:55:08.483 - Are you? - Get him into the bathroom! 01:55:08.588 --> 01:55:10.423 All right! Let's not... 01:55:10.986 --> 01:55:11.987 Just a minute... 01:55:12.404 --> 01:55:13.322 That's it. 01:55:13.968 --> 01:55:15.616 - Take it steady. - Here y'are 01:55:18.118 --> 01:55:19.495 It's in me tash. 01:55:20.579 --> 01:55:22.123 You wanna gerrit cut. 01:55:26.335 --> 01:55:27.587 It's in your mouth 01:55:30.089 --> 01:55:31.507 'Ave you 'ad a bath lately? 01:55:32.258 --> 01:55:33.259 Yeah, I 'ad one yesterday 01:55:33.468 --> 01:55:34.719 - As if! - I did! 01:55:34.969 --> 01:55:36.221 Where've you been, Johnny? 01:55:36.596 --> 01:55:37.847 Down the Via Dolorosa. 01:55:38.181 --> 01:55:39.224 Don't be nosy 01:55:42.227 --> 01:55:44.020 - Are you not goin' to work? - I'm late 01:55:44.229 --> 01:55:45.313 Oh, you'll get the sack 01:55:45.856 --> 01:55:46.898 Yeah. 01:55:47.357 --> 01:55:49.276 It's all right - you can put all your troubles in it. 01:55:50.444 --> 01:55:51.570 'Ey, I lost me bag. 01:55:52.237 --> 01:55:53.697 Yeah, I noticed. Where is it? 01:55:53.906 --> 01:55:54.948 I don't know. It's lost. 01:55:55.366 --> 01:55:56.283 Any valuables? 01:55:56.951 --> 01:55:59.703 Yeah, it's got me collection of famous retired glove-puppets in there. 01:56:00.371 --> 01:56:01.664 That's it - all gone. 01:56:02.206 --> 01:56:03.249 Did you get it nicked? 01:56:05.376 --> 01:56:06.461 Would you put that out? 01:56:22.436 --> 01:56:24.020 I 'an't cleaned me teeth yet 01:56:24.646 --> 01:56:27.274 Could you not just put 'em in a glass or something, no? 01:56:44.125 --> 01:56:47.336 I remember when you bought these shorts. I warned you 01:56:47.628 --> 01:56:48.504 about 'em then. 01:56:48.755 --> 01:56:50.214 Yeah, well, 01:56:55.428 --> 01:56:56.888 I only got them to piss you off 01:56:57.180 --> 01:56:58.306 Mission accomplished. 01:57:01.351 --> 01:57:02.394 Is he all right? 01:57:03.645 --> 01:57:04.271 Yeah 01:57:08.275 --> 01:57:10.778 What is this, a spectator sport or something? 01:57:11.195 --> 01:57:12.321 The hundred-metre vomit. 01:57:17.702 --> 01:57:18.995 Sophie, d'you mind if I 'ave a word 01:57:19.203 --> 01:57:21.080 with Johnny on me own? 01:57:27.962 --> 01:57:30.256 D'you want a word with Louise on your own? 01:57:30.924 --> 01:57:31.966 Are you bein' sarcastic? 01:57:32.175 --> 01:57:32.801 No 01:57:34.052 --> 01:57:35.095 Well, do as you're told. 01:57:37.806 --> 01:57:38.682 Right... 01:57:43.020 --> 01:57:44.062 Whose is all this money? 01:57:44.354 --> 01:57:45.481 Three hundred and eighty pounds, 01:57:45.814 --> 01:57:47.900 it's really oughtn't to be left laying waiting for ... 01:58:00.246 --> 01:58:01.164 Whose is all that? 01:58:02.206 --> 01:58:03.166 Dunno 01:58:10.423 --> 01:58:12.175 Who's been playing ping-pong with your face? 01:58:12.968 --> 01:58:17.180 The sky fell in on me. A cloud caught me across the cheek. 01:58:20.267 --> 01:58:21.685 So, why did you come to London? 01:58:22.394 --> 01:58:23.437 I come to run in the Marathon 01:58:23.645 --> 01:58:25.522 Will you give me a straight answer, please? 01:58:27.858 --> 01:58:30.152 Well, I 'ad to get out of Manchester 01:58:30.152 --> 01:58:31.570 'cos I was gonna get a beatin' 01:58:31.737 --> 01:58:35.241 And I come down 'ere, and I get a beatin' 01:58:35.491 --> 01:58:36.325 Were you asking for it? 01:58:36.534 --> 01:58:37.535 No. 01:58:37.702 --> 01:58:39.412 I wasn't. They just came out of nowhere. 01:58:39.996 --> 01:58:40.705 Honest? 01:58:40.872 --> 01:58:41.789 Yeah. 01:58:46.794 --> 01:58:47.879 So what are you gonna do? 01:58:48.129 --> 01:58:49.130 What are you gonna do? 01:58:49.881 --> 01:58:51.049 What are you gonna do? 01:58:52.425 --> 01:58:54.636 Dunno. Might go 'ome for the weekend. 01:58:55.470 --> 01:58:56.763 Well, there's no place like it. 01:58:58.056 --> 01:58:59.182 Might not come back. 01:59:01.476 --> 01:59:02.811 Are you goin' back? 01:59:08.609 --> 01:59:09.401 Is that nice? 01:59:11.862 --> 01:59:12.822 Yeah. 01:59:13.531 --> 01:59:15.032 I'm puttin' the fun back in 'fundament'. 01:59:16.826 --> 01:59:17.743 Are yer? 01:59:19.036 --> 01:59:20.747 Well, I'll 'ave to go back sometime, won't I? 01:59:21.247 --> 01:59:21.956 And what about us? 01:59:22.290 --> 01:59:23.416 What about us? 01:59:29.214 --> 01:59:30.173 Do you hate me? 01:59:31.091 --> 01:59:31.841 Fuck off! 01:59:36.847 --> 01:59:38.807 My mam was seven years younger than you when she had me. 01:59:39.016 --> 01:59:39.954 - Don't. - What? 01:59:40.058 --> 01:59:40.580 Just... 01:59:42.561 --> 01:59:43.604 Well, she was! 01:59:47.316 --> 01:59:48.442 I'm full o' shit, aren't I? 01:59:48.609 --> 01:59:49.527 Sometimes 01:59:49.860 --> 01:59:51.570 Yeah, well, it's all right, I've had it all kicked out of me now 01:59:51.862 --> 01:59:53.030 Oh? Good 01:59:55.616 --> 01:59:58.036 What if God just put us 'ere for his own entertainment? 01:59:59.454 --> 02:00:02.832 That's all we are. Just somethin' for 'im to 'ave 02:00:02.916 --> 02:00:05.335 a bit of a laugh at. Could be, couln'n't it? 02:00:06.461 --> 02:00:07.629 If you think about it. 02:00:10.882 --> 02:00:11.967 Give us your right 'and. 02:00:13.343 --> 02:00:14.511 Other way up. 02:00:24.897 --> 02:00:25.856 What's that? 02:00:27.900 --> 02:00:29.068 That's funny to me 02:00:29.276 --> 02:00:30.569 You're daft, you 02:00:30.820 --> 02:00:32.613 It's toilet humor 02:00:36.534 --> 02:00:37.869 Will you give me a cuddle, 02:00:38.161 --> 02:00:39.203 Johnny? 02:00:39.913 --> 02:00:40.788 Yeah. 02:01:26.962 --> 02:01:29.881 If no one tells me what's going on, then how am I supposed - 02:01:30.215 --> 02:01:32.175 I don't understand, Johnny! 02:01:32.509 --> 02:01:34.469 - 'Ow was Zambia? - It was Zimbabwe! 02:01:34.803 --> 02:01:38.432 I went to Zimbabwe with my wanker boyfriend, my ex... 02:01:38.724 --> 02:01:40.809 What did I do wrong? 02:01:41.101 --> 02:01:42.394 Did you see any big animals? 02:01:42.603 --> 02:01:45.314 Yes! We saw elephants and rhinos and zebras 02:01:45.564 --> 02:01:46.983 and lions and vultures... 02:01:47.191 --> 02:01:48.150 Did you see any monkeys? 02:01:48.401 --> 02:01:49.485 We saw many monkeys. 02:01:49.694 --> 02:01:53.031 And were they cheeky? Oh, it is not good for me, is it, all this, in my condition? 02:01:53.322 --> 02:01:55.116 Well, yes, no, yes... 02:01:55.575 --> 02:01:59.621 It's not good for me. It's not good for you. It's not good for any of us, it's utterly... 02:01:59.913 --> 02:02:02.123 Oh, excuse me for living! 02:02:06.503 --> 02:02:08.213 Is, is this it, Johnny? 02:02:09.256 --> 02:02:10.173 - Is it? - Is what it? 02:02:10.549 --> 02:02:12.426 Oh, I can't bear it! 02:02:14.511 --> 02:02:16.263 Right! I'm off! 02:02:17.264 --> 02:02:18.265 Off your trolley. 02:02:18.474 --> 02:02:22.019 Oh, don't fuckin' take a piss out of me you bastard!! 02:02:22.728 --> 02:02:24.313 You don't know! 02:02:24.814 --> 02:02:26.399 All I want... 02:02:26.816 --> 02:02:28.109 Nobody has any... 02:02:29.110 --> 02:02:30.445 Can you just please try... 02:02:31.070 --> 02:02:32.864 I've 'ad enough. 02:02:33.323 --> 02:02:34.324 This is a nightmare! 02:02:36.284 --> 02:02:38.703 Sophie, if you just try and pull yourself together 02:02:38.912 --> 02:02:40.705 - Where are you going? - I don't know 02:02:40.830 --> 02:02:42.249 Why don't you come in and have a lie-down? 02:02:42.457 --> 02:02:43.708 I don't care! 02:02:43.917 --> 02:02:44.751 Sophie! 02:02:44.751 --> 02:02:46.420 - Here's the key - Well, I don't wan' 'em! 02:02:46.795 --> 02:02:48.297 Well I don't fuckin' want them! 02:02:48.630 --> 02:02:50.382 I'm not a social worker! 02:02:51.508 --> 02:02:55.054 Look, Sophie. Don't be fuckin' stupid! 02:02:55.387 --> 02:02:57.139 What's the point, Louise? 02:02:59.767 --> 02:03:00.476 Sophie! 02:03:02.186 --> 02:03:03.521 I'm sorry 02:03:29.214 --> 02:03:30.278 Johnny 02:03:39.850 --> 02:03:40.810 You all right? 02:03:43.229 --> 02:03:44.355 I'm goin' 02:03:45.022 --> 02:03:45.565 Where? 02:03:45.857 --> 02:03:47.734 Work. To 'and my notice in. 02:03:48.151 --> 02:03:49.819 Then I'm comin' back 'ere, I'm packing me bags, 02:03:50.028 --> 02:03:51.863 and I'm goin' 'ome. D'you wanna come? 02:03:52.864 --> 02:03:53.782 - Today? - Yeah. 02:03:53.990 --> 02:03:55.200 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 02:03:55.825 --> 02:03:57.327 - 'Ow? - Bus. 02:04:00.956 --> 02:04:02.541 - Well, 'ave you got enough dough? - Yeah. 02:04:02.707 --> 02:04:04.376 - 'Cos I've not got nothin' - I know. 02:04:07.754 --> 02:04:09.089 D'you think you can make it? 02:04:10.674 --> 02:04:11.508 Don't know. 02:04:13.677 --> 02:04:16.388 Well, if you dpn't, we can stay 'ere until tomorrow. 02:04:29.152 --> 02:04:30.111 See you later. 02:04:32.363 --> 02:04:34.532 Can you leave us a few fags for cancer research? 02:04:35.158 --> 02:04:36.242 Here are your... 02:04:37.911 --> 02:04:39.162 I was actually hoping that the air could... 02:04:41.540 --> 02:04:43.000 What are we gonna do about all this... 02:04:43.959 --> 02:04:47.379 I dunno, Sandra. Look, I'll see you in a couple of hours. 02:04:47.838 --> 02:04:48.547 Fine. 02:04:48.839 --> 02:04:49.882 You will come back? 02:04:50.924 --> 02:04:52.051 Yeah, of course I will 02:04:52.259 --> 02:04:53.093 Because I need... 02:04:53.260 --> 02:04:54.178 You'll be all right, won't you? 02:04:54.595 --> 02:04:55.930 Will I be all right, love? 02:04:56.847 --> 02:04:58.349 I'm going to get the bath cleaned. 02:05:16.993 --> 02:05:19.204 You all know what it does to you 02:05:19.413 --> 02:05:22.708 and yet you still insist on doing it, so... do it. 02:05:23.750 --> 02:05:25.252 Smoke yourself to... 02:05:25.419 --> 02:05:27.463 Well, birds do it, bees do it. 02:05:27.921 --> 02:05:28.756 ..high heaven. 02:05:30.424 --> 02:05:31.926 Can you tell me something, love? 02:05:32.134 --> 02:05:34.428 Is it true that some babies are born covered in fur? 02:05:34.720 --> 02:05:35.554 Up. 02:05:38.057 --> 02:05:38.933 Thank you. 02:05:39.559 --> 02:05:41.602 And you know at birth when they cut the umbilical cord? 02:05:41.811 --> 02:05:44.522 What would happen if, well, if it was never cut? 02:05:46.399 --> 02:05:48.693 I don't need this. I just... 02:05:48.985 --> 02:05:50.362 Well it would be embarrassin', wouldn't it? 02:05:50.362 --> 02:05:51.613 Specially at my age. 02:05:51.821 --> 02:05:54.574 Why do you feel the need to take the piss? 02:05:55.242 --> 02:05:57.452 I'm not takin' a piss. It's nice, that - 02:05:57.661 --> 02:05:58.704 Where it is from? 02:05:58.912 --> 02:06:00.914 I don't know, it's something my dad... 02:06:01.623 --> 02:06:02.249 Now you see, 02:06:02.374 --> 02:06:04.376 Sophie just turned that to the wall, she's got 02:06:04.522 --> 02:06:06.837 this kind of an irritating proclivity for negation - 02:06:07.046 --> 02:06:08.839 I suppose she thinks it's progressive, or somethin'. 02:06:09.131 --> 02:06:10.591 What is your problem? 02:06:11.008 --> 02:06:12.176 Nothing. What is your problem? 02:06:12.343 --> 02:06:14.345 All these silly questions and... 02:06:15.805 --> 02:06:17.640 Well, look, I've never met a nurse before, and 02:06:17.849 --> 02:06:19.559 I'm just interested in, well, in life. 02:06:20.560 --> 02:06:22.061 I mean, d'you think it's worth savin'? 02:06:22.312 --> 02:06:26.733 Of course I do. But there is a time and a place, 02:06:27.066 --> 02:06:30.403 and actually this isn't the time or... 02:06:31.863 --> 02:06:32.614 The place? 02:06:32.906 --> 02:06:34.825 No. And this 02:06:35.826 --> 02:06:37.119 is where I... 02:06:37.995 --> 02:06:38.578 Live? 02:06:38.704 --> 02:06:39.371 Yes, 02:06:39.997 --> 02:06:42.291 - and I'm not feeling very... - Sexy? 02:06:42.750 --> 02:06:45.169 Comfortable, actually. I'm not feeling very comfortable. 02:06:45.586 --> 02:06:48.464 Well make yourself comfortable, love. Or slip into something more... 02:06:48.547 --> 02:06:49.194 comfortable 02:06:51.175 --> 02:06:52.301 My bath! 02:06:53.344 --> 02:06:56.681 Hot toast... hot milk.. hot-water bottle 02:06:56.889 --> 02:06:58.141 bed, sleep. 02:06:58.474 --> 02:06:59.350 D'you like me? 02:07:00.143 --> 02:07:01.894 I don't know you, so... 02:07:02.145 --> 02:07:03.605 D'you find me attractive? 02:07:05.648 --> 02:07:07.817 Well, listen, love, it's like this - I find you attractive. Very attractive. 02:07:09.235 --> 02:07:12.113 Enough. I've had enough. 02:07:12.739 --> 02:07:16.702 It comes at me from all angles. 02:07:17.160 --> 02:07:18.579 You... all of you just... 02:07:19.163 --> 02:07:20.539 it's the tin lid... 02:07:21.290 --> 02:07:25.252 When... how will the world ever... 02:07:25.669 --> 02:07:27.004 End. 02:07:27.296 --> 02:07:28.380 Yes! 02:07:29.000 --> 02:07:32.091 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player