1 00:00:01,013 --> 00:00:04,515 The private diary of my cousin who was born in Santa Fe 2 00:00:04,515 --> 00:00:08,199 and lives in Toronto. It reads like this... 3 00:00:08,199 --> 00:00:12,208 August 12th: "Today I moved into my new house 4 00:00:12,208 --> 00:00:17,126 in Toronto, it’s so peaceful here, 5 00:00:17,126 --> 00:00:19,668 what a wonderful countryside! 6 00:00:19,668 --> 00:00:23,510 I can’t wait to see the hills covered in snow, 7 00:00:23,510 --> 00:00:26,417 it’s so good to leave behind all the 8 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:30,124 heat, moisture and mosquitos. 9 00:00:30,124 --> 00:00:32,584 This is the real deal!" 10 00:00:32,584 --> 00:00:38,598 October 14th: "This is the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen! 11 00:00:38,598 --> 00:00:41,171 The color of the leaves. 12 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:45,414 This morning, I went hiking through the forest and I saw a deer, 13 00:00:45,414 --> 00:00:47,823 what a lovely animal! Showing off its horns 14 00:00:47,823 --> 00:00:51,608 like a crown, no doubt it’s the king of the forest. 15 00:00:51,608 --> 00:00:53,820 Canada is a paradise! 16 00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,886 And to think I suffered for so many years in that hell 17 00:00:56,886 --> 00:01:00,823 that is Santa Fe!" December 2nd: 18 00:01:00,823 --> 00:01:04,371 “It snowed last night, I’m so happy. 19 00:01:04,371 --> 00:01:06,919 I woke up and everything was covered in white 20 00:01:06,919 --> 00:01:10,634 just like a postcard, I went out to shovel the snow 21 00:01:10,634 --> 00:01:14,507 I was so happy that I wallowed in it 22 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:18,315 then we had a snowball fight with the neighbors. 23 00:01:18,315 --> 00:01:21,030 It’s so nice to live here! 24 00:01:21,030 --> 00:01:24,270 The grader passed by, cleaning the street 25 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:27,712 and I had to shovel again. 26 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,163 I’m so HAPPY!" 27 00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:33,328 December 22nd: "It snowed… again 28 00:01:33,328 --> 00:01:37,163 when I finished shoveling, the grader passed by 29 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:44,225 and once again the front of my house was all covered in dirty snow 30 00:01:44,225 --> 00:01:47,804 I’m a little tired of shoveling the snow. 31 00:01:47,804 --> 00:01:51,588 Today I called my cousin in Santa Fe and he was going with the family 32 00:01:51,588 --> 00:01:53,759 to the Guadalupe waterpark" 33 00:01:53,759 --> 00:01:59,089 December 25th: "Merry Christmas! 34 00:01:59,089 --> 00:02:03,838 Here, that white shit keeps falling! 35 00:02:03,838 --> 00:02:07,535 I got my hands full of calluses because of the shovel 36 00:02:07,535 --> 00:02:12,392 I think that jerk from the grader is watching me 37 00:02:12,392 --> 00:02:15,662 as soon as I finish, he passes by and covers 38 00:02:15,662 --> 00:02:17,866 my front all over again. 39 00:02:17,866 --> 00:02:23,690 I shit on the grader and on the asshole that drives it!" 40 00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:27,085 December 31st: 41 00:02:27,085 --> 00:02:30,610 “The douchebag on the news got it wrong again 42 00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:35,639 instead of 30 cm of snow it fell 98! 43 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,805 Here there´s nothing like celebrating the new year, ´cause 44 00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:42,414 no one can get out of their house because of the fucking snow! 45 00:02:42,414 --> 00:02:45,194 I´m tired and I feel so lonely 46 00:02:45,194 --> 00:02:49,755 I called my cousin again and that fag didn´t want to answer because he was in the pool 47 00:02:49,755 --> 00:02:55,523 and I’m sure that later he´s going to roast a piglet and I’m here, I can’t even get out!" 48 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,174 February 20th: 49 00:02:57,174 --> 00:03:00,935 “Finally, I was able to go to the supermarket 50 00:03:00,935 --> 00:03:06,320 but on the way, a fucking deer crossed my path and I ran into a tree! 51 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,864 I shit on that fucking animal! 52 00:03:09,864 --> 00:03:13,426 Fixing it is gonna cost me a shit load of money! 53 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:18,129 I’m sure God created deers just to screw us over! 54 00:03:18,129 --> 00:03:22,916 The hunters should’ve killed them all! 55 00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:25,085 March 2nd: 56 00:03:25,085 --> 00:03:28,224 “Yesterday I slipped on the ice and broke my leg 57 00:03:28,224 --> 00:03:31,167 then that motherfucker from the grader 58 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:35,479 passed by again and I have snow all the way up my ass! 59 00:03:35,479 --> 00:03:39,527 I just want to sell the house so I can get the fuck out of here!" 60 00:03:39,527 --> 00:03:41,267 April 23th: 61 00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:46,583 “They took off my cast, the mechanic called and said that the chasis is rotten and it’s gonna cost me twice the money, 62 00:03:46,583 --> 00:03:53,168 due to the salt that is used to melt the fucking snow! 63 00:03:53,168 --> 00:04:00,021 I shit on the car, the snow, the mechanic and the whole population of Toronto!" 64 00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:07,144 May 15th: "I finally sold the house to a damn canadian! 65 00:04:07,144 --> 00:04:12,192 Who would ever think of coming to live in this cold and lonely shithole?! 66 00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:19,724 Tomorrow I go back to Santa Fe, I can´t wait to get there so I can enjoy the heat, moisture and mosquitoes 67 00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:23,026 as soon as I arrive I’m gonna have a delicious barbecue 68 00:04:23,026 --> 00:04:26,045 and then obviously I’m gonna have a drink with my cousin 69 00:04:26,045 --> 00:04:28,533 that’s what I call life!