[Narrator] AJ MacDonald is expecting baby number 3...
...in just 4 weeks.
She's a confident, practical mom.
But with each child, AJ has had to adapt...
...and learn new skills.
AJ is going blind.
Oh, I'll stay really close to Zayb...
...within reaching distance of his hand.
And I will grab him sometimes and pull him back by me.
It's scary. It is hard work.
Yeah, it's not easy.
[Narrator] AJ has the condition macular edema.
It's a complicated auto-immune disorder...
...where her immune system attacks her eyes.
Her sight has gradually deteriorated.
She's now completely blind in one eye...
...and only has around 30 percent vision in the other.
When I look out there I can just see waves...
...and the beach, I can't see.
If it's like just Jayden, and he's coming in close...
...I'll see him.
But, yeah, I can mostly just see waves.
Who's that? He's home!
Hi, son!
AJ's oldest boy, Jayden is eight...
...the same age she was when she discovered..
...she was losing her sight.
- Hi! - Mwah!
$$[AJ MacDonald] Like, I don't remember it being one day I woke up...
...and couldn't see. It was really slow.
I just remember thinking, "I can't read that now."...
...or "I can't see that far."
Or I would mistake things, you know.
I would say...
My stepdad always laughs, because one time...
...I...there was a white rock and I said...
..."Oh, look at that duck!" You know. It was a rock!
And things like that.
And it wasn't like you go "Oh, I can't see now."
It was, like, just little things that got worse and worse.
They did surgery on my left eye, removed the lens, so...
...that there's no sight, I get light and dark...
...and some shadows.
The other eye, I see some movement...
...but absolutely no focus.
I can read things, for a few seconds...
...or for a bit. But then the focus goes on me.
A short distance, I can see if I hold things really close...
...to me.
But long distance is really gone.
Within...if people are a meter away, or two meters...
...I won't know who the are.
Wee!
[AJ] I don't see my kids' faces really clearly...
...but I can see where they are.
I can hear them and I know what they're doing...
I know when Jayden jumps out of that tree.
I know when Zayb's coming up from underneath him and that.
Yeah, I listen to them play and that's...
...that's how I see them play.
[Narrator] Eventually AJ will lose all her vision.
Surgery is an option, but it comes with risks.
[AJ] I'm a bit scared about having surgery...
...especially on my 'good' eye.
Because if it comes out worse, then you know...
...or do I stay happy with what it's at now?
Do I try and make it better and risk it getting worse?
I mean, the risks are pretty high.
There's definitely a chance of putting a lens...
...in that left eye, which would give me a bit more sight.
And also, there's cataracts in the right eye...
...which is taking away quite a lot of sight.
Which, cataracts are easy to fix, but you have to have...
...no inflammation, is what they call it...
...and that's the condition that I have.
The uvulitis is what causes the inflammation.
So, I have to be on heavy medications...
...for a period of time...
...to make sure there's no inflammation in that eye.
So they could do that operation.
[Narrator] And with a new baby on the way...
...AJ has decided to stick with the status quo.
- Hi! - Hi! How're you doing?
Good, come in!
[AJ] We've got four weeks to go.
Baby's due in four weeks.
I've got worries, you know, having a toddler...
...and a new baby, it's going to be tricky...
...but it's cool.
You know, lots of people do it and, yeah, I'm excited...
...about it.
Ok, so do you think we should have a feel and a listen...
...to this little poppet?
- Yeah. - ok!
[Narrator] Macular edema is known to be hereditary.
In AJ's case, it simply developed...
...from the auto-immune disease.
Ok, they're nice and warm today!
That's good!
[Narrator] Her eyesight is changeable.
When she's sick, she has less vision...
...than when she's well.
Her pregnancy could have affected her sight...
...but luckily it hasn't.
Either way, I just hope for a healthy baby.
But yeah, a girl would be nice.
A girl would be nice, but three boys...
...would be loud and ruckus and cool as well.
You know, it will be what it's meant to be.
[Baby's heartbeat pulses on ultrasound]
That's a happy baby!
[They laugh]
140s... 150s
And we'll do your blood pressure.
[Narrator] AJ has a younger brother...
...living in the same town, but she's always managed...
...on her own. And doesn't expect any help with this baby either.
Even though her partner, Lionel, works long hours...
...often commuting away from AJ and the kids.
Mum, what's for tea?
- Mince. - Yummy! Garlic?
- And potatoes.
Yep, garlic.
Do you want to help?
Err, can I go and play outside?
- Yeah. - Ok.
[Narrator] Eight year old Jayden is well aware...
...of mom's limited vision, and naturally helps her.
But AJ just wants him to be a kid...
...as much as possible too.
[AJ] He knows my condition.
He knows what my sight's like.
He probably knows better than anyone, what I can...
...and can't see.
Zayb, what are you doing?
Zayb? What are you doing, mate?
Can you pass me a potato? Please?
Ah!
That's been my new year's resolution....
...to be better in the kitchen and find ways of doing things...
...you know, like, with the baking...
...to find ways of doing it.
It's the same with cooking you find ways of doing it.
It's not always great, but... you know.
I'm sure my kids probably eat a bit more dirt...
...on the edge of the potatoes than other kids, but yeah.
Jayden, can you see what the dog...
...is choking on, please?
[Jayden] Ok, hang on.
With using knives, it's like you feel the potato...
...you feel where it is.
And then you know where to cut.
It's just using intuition more than your sight.
Things like cooking chicken, I don't cook chicken...
...if I'm by myself.
I'll cook it if I know Lionel's going to be home in time.
And then he can check it make sure it's not pink.
You all right? Come here.
Come on, we're going to wash the potatoes.
Oh!
Oh, ta. Can you pick it up?
Here's your grapes.
Oh no.
That's Karen's stuff!
[Narrator] Even though she's 36 weeks pregnant...
...AJ is still helping others in her community.
She recognizes that her loss of sight...
...played a part in tough teenage years.
[AJ] I did drop out of school, school was hard...
...when you can't read, you can't see.
You know there's lots of reasons why kids don't function...
...well in school.
And mine was just that I couldn't see.
So I dropped out early and I did get into trouble...
...as a teenager.
And when Jayden was one, I decided that this...
...wasn't the kind of life that I wanted...
...to bring my child up in.
Lots of drugs, and yeah, lots of trouble.
So, I thought, no. This isn't for my son.
[Traffic noises]
Tell us when we're good, eh?
Jayden's really, really good.
He's been taught road safety from real young.
And he will cross us over roads...
...because I actually can't see the cars.
When it's quiet streets, I can hear cars...
...and you do know when the road's clear.
But when it's a really, really busy street...
...and you've got to look for a gap and rush over...
...that's...I will walk a long way...
...to get to a crossing, and then backtrack...
...if I need to.
- Are we good? - Yeah.
[Narrator] When AJ was a teenager nobody helped her...
...with career opportunities and she became lost.
She had her first baby when she was seventeen.
In June last year, AJ graduated...
...with a diploma in applied social science.
She now works as a social worker and is studying...
...for her degree.
She works here with young moms attending a course...
...at the YMCA, and elsewhere with teenagers at risk.
And she's a youth mentor.
Ok, so are you keen to do some baking this afternoon?
We're going to bake for Sandy's farewell, I think.
[Narrator] AJ passes on the knowledge she's built up...
...through her own experiences.
She's a voice of reason for the young moms...
...and their babies.
[AJ] And people can be so judgmental with young moms.
I know what it's like. I've been there.
And it is tough. And you do need help..
and you do need teaching all of that.
And I just, I love watching them go...
...from being pregnant to having their babies...
...to just being beautiful moms.
What happened?
Oh, the slide was on your toe!
[Baby cries]
[Narrator] Last year AJ received the prestigious...
...Leslie Pearce Woman of Courage award...
...for her outstanding work as a mentor...
...and her influence on young people.
[AJ] Winning the Leslie Pearce award was...
...it was huge, really.
Because I'm quite a quiet, private person...
...and to have it out in the public...
...that you, you know, I can't see, um...
...to have it, you know, it was in a magazine, it was on TV...
...it was kind of this thing where you have to go...
..."Ok, I'm going to go public about it..."
"...or I'm going to hide away."
And you had to make that decision of, "Yeah I want to talk..."
"...about what it's like to be blind, what it's like..."
"...to bring up kids."
You know, all of that stuff.
I'll bring some food down actually and just...
...put it on the table for him.
Ok.
Thank you!
Nice meeting you, Fay.
All right.
[Narrator] AJ knew she needed qualifications...
...to give herself and her children a better future.
[AJ] Because for me, I couldn't just work on a checkout.
I couldn't do admin, I couldn't do those jobs...
...that we can kind of walk into.
You know, cleaning....
A lot of that stuff, I couldn't do, because I couldn't see.
Lots of jobs, you have to have a driver's license.
And so, for me, it was what can I do?
What am I good at...
...enough that will counter the eyesight thing?
So grab out the ingredients that you need.
Umm.
Ok, guys, take your butter out...
...and put it in your golden syrup, pre-melted.
Oh, ok. Uh...
Honey, don't put your butter in there dry.
[AJ] I taught myself how to cook.
And I learnt a lot from friends and family....
...because you need to be able to cook and feed your kids.
That's something that's really important with the young moms.
And if I can cook, when I can't see anything, then they can cook.
Ok, Court, can you turn this on?
What do you want it to?
Umm, bake 180 degrees.
[Narrator] But even attending polytech...
...put her out of her comfort zone.
[AJ] Seven years ago, when I first started...
...my sight wasn't that bad...
...so I got to know my way around.
We count the steps.
You know how many steps there are.
I think too, you use your other senses.
And it's not like it's not a conscious thing...
...that you do.
You sort of, you feel things, you know that things are there.
When they change stuff it's hard.
Like, this space was all open then they put in these...
...lovely gardens.
And that kind of mixes me up for a bit.
But once you know it, you know it.
Finding my class was difficult.
Sometimes if we were in a different classroom...
...and I couldn't see the number on the door...
...and if I looked in, I was never sure...
...if it was my class or not.
[Narrator] With baby number three on the way...
...she needs to put her studies on hold, for now.
Oh, come on. It's time to go home!
Come on!
Good boy.
Thanks, Sandy!
Thank you girls, see you later!
- Hi! You guys ready? - Yep!
[Narrator] It's a busy life and every week...
...Lionel's daughter, Jade, also comes to stay for the weekend.
Pop in that side.
Pop in your seat. There's Jaja!
Jayden, Jayden!
Good boy, I'll plug you in.
Have you got your belts on?
[Jade] I've got my belt on.
[Narrator] AJ likes a busy household...
...but sometimes it's the everyday practicalities...
...that can get her down.
[AJ] The one thing that gets me is not being able to drive.
That's the tough thing.
With the kids, with working and studying and...
...you know, trying to do all of that...
...it just adds a big extra pressure onto your day...
...trying to either walk there or find a ride...
...or if it's raining.
Or just when you need to go to the shop or something.
You have to pack the kids up and walk there.
You know, that's a mission.
[AJ] I don't struggle along with this condition on my own.
I have beautiful friends and family that support us...
...that love my kids and love us and help us every day.
There's never a time when I'm sitting there on my own...
...going "Oh my gosh, I can't cope with this."
[Narrator] AJ is fiercely independent...
...but she needs help with supermarket shopping.
[AJ] I don't think anyone loves the supermarket that much...
...but for me it is a lot harder.
I do it with Lionel, or with my friend, Gina.
[Narrator] She finds the noise and the maze of shelves...
...disorienting.
[AJ] Lots of people, lots of stuff and lots of movement.
And that I feel a bit... I can't see much.
Ok, do you see plums on there?
Ummm...no!
Ok, go search, push 'P'...
Are pears the same as the other ones?
Umm...
[AJ] Just trying to get the cheapest thing...
...you can't see the small prices is hard.
[Checkout beeps]
Nah.
Oh yeah, it did it, it did it!
Thank you! You too!
Take the trolley, baby.
Good girl.
[Zayb gurgles]
Change your bum!
Lie down.
[AJ] I worry about other things like practical things.
Like, I worry that now, I do a lot of stuff with me...
...and my friend and their child, you know...
...and now we're not going to fit in one car!
That's the kind of stuff I worry about.
I'm going to have three kids and if I'm with...
...one of my friends who has a kid, yeah, I won't fit in the car...
...with them.
[Zayb shouts]
[AJ] You know, taking three kids on a bus is a lot tougher...
...than taking one or two.
So I worry about that kind of practical stuff...
...but I try not to worry about the future...
...and whether I'm going to be able to see them or not.
[Narrator] Baby Eli arrives right on cue.
Are you hungry?
[Zayb screams]
Quietly!
[Narrator] Having boy number three brings new challenges.
Don't hit! No hitting, man, come on!
[Narrator] Life just got a whole lot busier...
...yet AJ's making light or her load.
[AJ] It's going to be tough, I mean, three boys!
It's a lot of testosterone.
I think, yeah, it's cool.
We'll just have to get out and about...
...take them for walks, it'll be Zayb that needs to be taken...
...out of the house, and energized.
He's, oh, he's got a lot of energy to get rid of.
[Boys shout and play]
[Narrator] Her younger brother Ben has been helping out...
...while Lionel's away.
I suppose she's come a long way. AJ has done a lot of things, eh?
And didn't really notice it at the time.
Because she's sort of, I don't know...
...never really given her the, what's the word for it?
- Help me out, man! - I don't know!
Respect for doing really well and that.
- Yeah. - Because she's done a fair bit.
And I've sort of always just seen her...
...as my sister, AJ.
Like, her eyesight and that doesn't really come...
...into our lives when I'm around.
- Woke up. - Yeah, he's...
[Makes kissing sounds]
You hot?
I'll go check on Zayb.
Can't climb up that fence any more, so that's good.
Oh!
Man, is it ready?
Yeah, we can serve it up, man!
Ah, awesome.
Can you grab a tea towel and put it down?
Oh, it's all right, I'll put that chopping board down.
Thank you!
Been home bodies since last... since he was born.
It's good having Jayden so much older...
...so he's sort of responsible and Zayb kind of is learning.
Good boy, Zayb. Go wash your hands.
It's all ready! Jayden will help you.
Good boy!
[AJ] I haven't been out by myself with all three of them.
It's been me and Lionel taking them out.
[AJ] It's going to be hot, ok?
[I don't know] Is that for Jayden?
Ok, you hop over there then.
Auntie will pass that over the table...
...you hop over there.
All right, are you getting drinks?
OJ for Zayb.
Let me help you.
[Ben] Do you want to feed now then?
Right then, your plate, please.
Here's your fork.
- But not the noodle. - Careful.
[Conversation fades]
Come on, mate.
Have your bath.
[Narrator] Young Jayden eagerly takes on the role...
...of mother's helper.
He's her second pair of eyes.
Son, can you please grab me a towel?
[AJ] I think that sometimes happens with kids...
...when you have a disability.
You know, it's things like "Jayden can you look at this rash?"
"What does it look like?"
"Can you tell me what it looks like?"
"What does he have in his mouth?"
Um, just those extra kind of things that kids don't usually...
...have to worry about.
[Narrator] Eli's been diagnosed with hip displacia...
...or clicky hips.
It's a relatively common condition...
...but he has to wear a brace for the next few months.
[AJ] It is hard with his brace...
...because I can't bath him and I've always...
...bathed my babies a lot in case I've missed...
...a bit of poo, you know?
In case they're dirty and I can't see it.
And just keeping an eye on his skin...
...because he can get rashes and stuff from his brace.
So yeah, that's been tough.
[Narrator] Never one to sit around for long...
...AJ has already decided on a new way...
...to support other moms in her community.
She's training as a breastfeeding mentor.
[AJ] It's something that they're putting in place...
...over New Zealand, I think, to try and encourage...
...or support women to breastfeed.
Yeah, that's something that I'm quite passionate about too.
I think if women can get that support and help...
...that they need and can do it well...
...then it's an amazing thing.
Yeah, I am an advocate for breastfeeding...
...but I'm not a pushy "breast is best" person...
...you know!
I do worry sometimes that if my eyesight goes completely...
...then how will I cope with that?
I do sometimes think, y'know, if I couldn't see my kids...
...I can still see their faces now and I think...
...that's something that makes me feel sad, thinking what if..
...I couldn't see their little facial expressions?
Or see what they're doing.
Zayb is going to climb up onto the tree!
[AJ] But then I think of the other side of it...
...and I can still kiss them and hug them...
...and hold them.
I think I'll always be close to my babies...
...whether I can see them or not, I think.
Do you want it on or off?
[Zayb whinges]
You want it off?