WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.100 Because we're doing live-streaming internationally now I'll try and aim 00:00:05.100 --> 00:00:08.700 for slightly shorter talks, maybe 45-50 minutes 00:00:08.700 --> 00:00:12.900 so we can give more opportunities for questions, 00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:18.800 especially when they come from overseas. So it'll be a bit shorter this time. 00:00:18.800 --> 00:00:22.900 But first of all please if everyone can come in, 00:00:22.900 --> 00:00:30.900 sitting outside or standing outside, again there's lots of space in the front. 00:00:41.820 --> 00:00:48.480 And the subject of the talk is another suggestion which was sent to me on the internet, 00:00:48.480 --> 00:00:54.000 but please if we can stop more suggestions on the internet because we've got enough 00:00:54.000 --> 00:01:00.466 suggestions now for talks for the next year. [laughs] 00:01:00.466 --> 00:01:07.000 So maybe we can stop it for at least a month or so, but I've added that because it makes it possible 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:13.300 to give talks for people which are relevant, and the topic which, the first one which 00:01:13.300 --> 00:01:22.300 came through was they wanted me to talk on the Buddhist idea of karma but how we can 00:01:22.300 --> 00:01:26.500 understand that, not just through belief, but through some experience 00:01:26.500 --> 00:01:32.299 or some deeper understanding, because the problem with modern life, 00:01:32.299 --> 00:01:38.200 you are asked to believe in so many things and sometimes what we are asked to believe in 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:43.700 doesn't make much sense, and you may say the same with the Law of Karma. 00:01:43.700 --> 00:01:49.100 Do we have to believe in that or if it's something we just have to believe in then 00:01:49.100 --> 00:01:54.800 you're not going to get involved in such things, because beliefs are very uncertain. 00:01:54.800 --> 00:02:01.190 But can we really understand it much more deeper without the need to rely upon belief? 00:02:01.190 --> 00:02:06.800 And of course the first thing I always like to impress with this Law of Karma is the 00:02:06.800 --> 00:02:11.000 usual simplistic idea that kamma means if 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:15.200 you punch your mother when you were young, you're going to have to have, you know, 00:02:15.200 --> 00:02:18.699 hay fever in your nose for the rest of your life. [laughter] 00:02:18.699 --> 00:02:23.200 Or, you know, that simplistic idea that whatever you're experiencing now it means 00:02:23.200 --> 00:02:27.722 because you've done something similar to somebody else in the past. 00:02:27.722 --> 00:02:34.800 That idea of like action and punishment is something which never made sense to me at all. 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:43.560 So don't even just not believe in that, reject that, because that is far too naive and simplistic. 00:02:43.560 --> 00:02:51.839 And in fact, you know, when we try and find out why this is happening to me? What did I do? 00:02:51.839 --> 00:02:57.290 Or why does this always happen to me? Is this some kamma I did in the past? 00:02:57.290 --> 00:03:05.050 It's not very helpful because you can't work out why these things are happening to you.. 00:03:05.050 --> 00:03:10.300 Actually you’ll probably find out they happen to me as well and to the person sitting next to you. 00:03:10.300 --> 00:03:15.078 This is just the nature of life - these things happen! 00:03:15.078 --> 00:03:22.800 So you’ve seen that on the back of the posters. There's a lot of wisdom you see when you're 00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:28.000 driving down the freeway on the back of other people's cars, you know, that shit happens, 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:34.690 but it mostly comes from assholes as they say [laughter]. 00:03:34.690 --> 00:03:41.550 But yeah it happens and we've all got an asshole, haven't we? [laughter] 00:03:41.550 --> 00:03:44.470 It's all part of us which is nasty and mean sometimes.. 00:03:44.470 --> 00:03:50.023 But - just thinking about that, it doesn't really help.. 00:03:50.023 --> 00:03:53.370 It may for some people think 00:03:53.370 --> 00:03:59.200 “oh, why this happens is because I must’ve done something bad in the past”. 00:03:59.200 --> 00:04:06.400 That gets very negative and gets into this thing about being bad, and so it gets into 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:12.100 the guilt trips and that's something which I've tried to get out of my life and try to 00:04:12.100 --> 00:04:14.610 encourage other people to get rid of. 00:04:14.610 --> 00:04:18.680 I'm going to say another story which is very similar, which you've heard before, 00:04:18.680 --> 00:04:23.990 but which I'm going to bring back into this whole idea of karma, 00:04:23.990 --> 00:04:29.350 about what happens when you think you’ve got some trouble or difficulty, 00:04:29.350 --> 00:04:37.900 and that was every time I went to the doctor I felt guilty. 00:04:37.900 --> 00:04:43.000 Years and years and years ago, I had, I think, some sort of sickness and never 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:47.410 found out exactly what it was about, over 20 years ago now, 00:04:47.410 --> 00:04:51.800 the last time I was really sick.. And I went to the doctors and I was sitting 00:04:51.800 --> 00:04:56.300 there in the doctor's surgery in Byford waiting for the doctor to call me in, 00:04:56.300 --> 00:05:02.966 and somebody who knew me came into the doctor's surgery and they saw me, 00:05:02.966 --> 00:05:07.500 this monk, who meditates, who lives a nice peaceful lifestyle, 00:05:07.500 --> 00:05:13.200 who doesn't get involved in the stresses of normal life, and they looked at me and they said 00:05:13.200 --> 00:05:18.047 “I never expected to see you in here!” [laughter]. 00:05:18.047 --> 00:05:23.000 And I felt really guilty - maybe I wasn't eating enough brown rice, 00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:25.400 maybe I wasn't exercising.. 00:05:25.400 --> 00:05:27.800 I'm supposed to be a monk! I'm supposed to be healthy, 00:05:27.800 --> 00:05:33.200 living a good lifestyle, and he made me feel guilty about being in a doctor's surgery. 00:05:33.200 --> 00:05:39.000 Okay, if I was in a pub or a brothel or something then and I should feel guilty [laughter], 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:44.300 but what's wrong with being in a doctor's surgery!? It's part of life. 00:05:44.300 --> 00:05:50.700 And that was the situation, the incident where I started to teach people: 00:05:50.700 --> 00:05:57.200 look there is nothing wrong with being sick! And to make that point, 00:05:57.200 --> 00:06:03.600 I've done this exercise in all these talks I’ve been giving, asking people can you 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:08.600 please put your hand up right now if you've never been sick in your life, 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:10.700 not once being sick. 00:06:10.700 --> 00:06:15.100 Is there anybody right now who has never been sick in their life so far? 00:06:15.100 --> 00:06:20.400 And you may not see this on the internet but there's not one person in this crowd 00:06:20.400 --> 00:06:26.000 of about three hundred who’s got their hand up. The reason is because you've all been sick in life. 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:32.200 And imagine if you've never been sick, you've been a human being and all these years 00:06:32.200 --> 00:06:36.300 you've lived you've never had a day of sickness in your life, you would be weird, 00:06:36.300 --> 00:06:42.600 you'd be so strange that the medical establishment will get you into their 00:06:42.600 --> 00:06:45.900 universities and do all sorts of tests on you. 00:06:45.900 --> 00:06:48.600 “What's wrong with you? You haven't been sick.” 00:06:48.600 --> 00:06:58.000 So the point of that simile is that sickness is natural, sickness is ordinary, 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:04.300 in fact there must be something right with you - you're sick again. 00:07:04.300 --> 00:07:10.300 And I've been teaching that for such a long time there are many doctors here in 00:07:10.300 --> 00:07:14.100 Perth who come and tell me “yes somebody came into our surgery today 00:07:14.100 --> 00:07:18.000 and they said ‘doctor there's something right with me, I'm sick again’, 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:20.000 it must be one of your disciples Ajahn Brahm”. [laughter] 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:27.000 But look, the reason why we do that, we say “doctor there's something right with me, 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:36.000 I'm sick” is to take this negativity away from the difficulties and problems of life. 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:44.300 There's nothing wrong with being sick, there's nothing wrong with having a problem in life. 00:07:44.300 --> 00:07:50.100 But if we think it's something wrong, that I'm being punished for a bad thing 00:07:50.100 --> 00:07:57.700 I did and that's Karma. No no no. It's not a punishment thing, 00:07:57.700 --> 00:08:02.700 it's not that something's wrong. This is part of human life. 00:08:02.700 --> 00:08:10.200 You'll be sick sometimes even if you do eat brown rice, if you are totally vegetarian, 00:08:10.200 --> 00:08:15.000 if you exercise and you eat.. how many vegetables are you supposed to eat every day? 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:19.000 And pieces of fruit? Five vegetables? 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:21.800 Even if you eat six vegetables every day, you can still get sick! 00:08:21.800 --> 00:08:26.100 So the point is there's nothing wrong with being sick, 00:08:26.100 --> 00:08:30.800 even if you're a really really really good wife, you do all the right things, 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:32.900 still your husband argues with you [chuckles]. 00:08:32.900 --> 00:08:43.100 If you bring up your kids and do all the right things, still they drive you crazy. 00:08:43.100 --> 00:08:48.100 So is there something wrong with your kids? Is there something wrong with youth today? 00:08:48.100 --> 00:08:52.400 There is nothing wrong with youth today, that's what they're like! 00:08:52.400 --> 00:08:58.500 That's what marriage is like, there's nothing wrong with your marriage! 00:08:58.500 --> 00:09:05.500 Even if you're getting divorced this weekend [laughter], this is part of life. 00:09:05.500 --> 00:09:11.000 So we don't say “there's something wrong with me lawyer, I'm getting divorced today”, 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:13.000 “there's something right with me, I'm getting divorced!” 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:13.600 0:09:13.600,0:09:22.500 So what we're doing there is we’re accepting these things are part of life. 00:09:22.500 --> 00:09:29.800 When we say there's something wrong, whether our marriage is broken up, what happens? 00:09:29.800 --> 00:09:36.000 Guilt, anger, blame, fighting and those are the things which I'm trying to dismantle, 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:39.000 take away from life. No guilt, no anger, 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:47.600 to say that this is happening to me right now, this is part of life, no more than 00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:51.000 “there’s something wrong with me, I'm sick again doctor”, 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:55.000 “there's something right with me, I'm sick”, 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:57.200 “there's something right with me, there's a problem in my life”, 00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:01.600 “there's something right with me, it's a difficulty of my finances.” 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:08.000 So this is taking that law of karma and seeing it in a far deeper, much better way. 00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:13.100 Not that we're blaming ourselves because something bad we did in the past, 00:10:13.100 --> 00:10:19.400 yeah it's got its causes, but the point is when we say there's something right with me, 00:10:19.400 --> 00:10:23.000 I'm having a problem in my life, it takes away the guilt, 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:26.400 it takes away the anger 00:10:26.400 --> 00:10:32.000 and why is it right - because when it's right it gives you 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:36.000 the opportunity, embracing it, learning from it, growing from it. 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:38.200 0:10:38.200,0:10:44.500The other karma simile, which is a very important one, 00:10:44.500 --> 00:10:51.000 it was so important that the book, you know, which I just saw the Buddhist Society, 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:56.200 what was it… the Korean edition, it just got a $5,000 cheque this week 00:10:56.200 --> 00:10:59.100 from the Korean edition of “Opening the Door of your Heart”. 00:10:59.100 --> 00:11:00.700 You're making a fortune out of me! [laughter] 00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:09.200 But in the American edition of that book it was called 00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:13.400 “Who ordered this truckload of dung?” Instead of “Opening the Door of your Heart” 00:11:13.400 --> 00:11:17.600 it had a different title, which is important because it means that 00:11:17.600 --> 00:11:23.000 people buy both books, not realizing they're the same [laughter]. 00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:26.800 Excellent marketing, but doesn’t matter, it's all good charity work. 00:11:26.800 --> 00:11:33.300 But that simile on the front of that book which is suggesting that these things 00:11:33.300 --> 00:11:36.900 which happen to us in life, yeah there's something right with me, 00:11:36.900 --> 00:11:41.500 I've got more dung now, I've got more shit, 00:11:41.500 --> 00:11:50.900 I've got more to learn from, to grow from, and this is one of the most important things 00:11:50.900 --> 00:11:52.700 about the Law of Karma - when you're having a good time, 00:11:52.700 --> 00:11:54.800 marvelous, enjoy it, 00:11:54.800 --> 00:11:58.300 there's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself and being happy. 00:11:58.300 --> 00:12:03.900 Even last week somebody came to the monastery in Serpentine and I had to spend 00:12:03.900 --> 00:12:08.600 a long time counselling them because there was nothing going wrong in their life, 00:12:08.600 --> 00:12:13.300 they're having a wonderful life and they felt so guilty, they felt so bad, 00:12:13.300 --> 00:12:17.800 they were just having a wonderful relationship, a nice job, plenty of money, good health, 00:12:17.800 --> 00:12:21.300 enjoying themselves in a peaceful country, they felt so bad about that. 00:12:21.300 --> 00:12:25.500 Come on! I've been working hard to 00:12:25.500 --> 00:12:29.400 get you into that state and now you get there, you’re having a good life and everything 00:12:29.400 --> 00:12:34.000 is going well and then you still complain! [laughter] 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:38.200 And so I said, “look, it's alright to be happy”, 00:12:38.200 --> 00:12:45.000 and in fact some years ago I was counseling another person having a 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:49.600 very good time but they felt guilty about it, so on our monastery letterhead, 00:12:49.600 --> 00:12:52.800 you know, nice letterhead, Bodhinyana Monastery Serpentine, 00:12:52.800 --> 00:12:57.600 I typed out a letter and I signed it, and it was a license. 00:12:57.600 --> 00:13:01.800 I said this is a happiness license 00:13:01.800 --> 00:13:06.000 “I, Ajahn Brahm, Spiritual Director of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:08.900 hereby grant you permission to be happy” and I signed that for her [laughs], 00:13:08.900 --> 00:13:16.000 so they could put it on their wall and they can remind themselves 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:22.100 actually there’s nothing wrong with being happy. Don't feel guilty about that. 00:13:22.100 --> 00:13:28.300 So the happiness, it’s karma or something, whatever, here it is, enjoy it, 00:13:28.300 --> 00:13:34.900 have fun with it, don't worry about it. And if you can enjoy that happiness then 00:13:34.900 --> 00:13:39.600 you maybe also be able to say the same thing about giving yourself permission 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:41.700 to have a problem as well. 00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:48.800 There's nothing wrong with that either, both are this wonderful thing called life, 00:13:48.800 --> 00:13:53.000 they're part of life, so we love the whole lot - having happiness - great. 00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:56.900 When you're having difficulty - learn from it, grow from it. 00:13:56.900 --> 00:14:01.600 It is shit, it smells, it stinks, that's what some people think, 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:08.000 but it's great for your fertilizer for your garden. 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:13.900 We have a big compost pile in our monastery. All the excess food which doesn't 00:14:13.900 --> 00:14:20.000 get eaten we put it in that compost pile and we get some manure from the prison farm 00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:24.700 up the road and we dig it in there, and some of these people they love getting 00:14:24.700 --> 00:14:29.300 in the compost, digging all the shit up and they stink for days but they love it, 00:14:29.300 --> 00:14:35.500 so it must be something about shit which is quite lovable, and adorable, 00:14:35.500 --> 00:14:42.100 and they love it because they know that that's going to make this beautiful garden 00:14:42.100 --> 00:14:47.700 and that was the whole point of that truckload of dung simile. 00:14:47.700 --> 00:14:51.900 That when things actually happen in life, instead of blaming, 00:14:51.900 --> 00:14:57.000 “oh it's my kamma, I've done terrible things, stupid me, why did I do this?” 00:14:57.000 --> 00:15:04.100 and getting depressed, in other words getting guilt and 00:15:04.100 --> 00:15:09.000 shoving it all on yourself, or the other one, getting angry and bitter, 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:13.600 “it's his fault, it's her fault, it's the government’s fault, 00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:16.000 it's a system fault, down with the system!” 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:19.500 No, that's not part of Buddhism. 00:15:19.500 --> 00:15:23.000 We don't believe in suicide bombers. 00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:24.800 Actually there's a joke about suicide bombers. 00:15:24.800 --> 00:15:31.800 In the suicide bomber training camp, somewhere in this sort of the Middle East, 00:15:31.800 --> 00:15:38.100 on the last lesson the instructor called all these potential suicide bombers together 00:15:38.100 --> 00:15:43.000 and said “I'm now going to demonstrate the suicide vest and please listen carefully 00:15:43.000 --> 00:15:51.500 because I'm only going to tell you this once”. [laughter] 00:15:51.500 --> 00:15:56.700 Anyway if you don't understand then ask a person who laughed sitting next to you. 00:15:56.700 --> 00:16:04.000 Can only do a practical demonstration once, okay. 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:09.400 Anyway back to the...what was I telling anyway, I just got lost in my jokes.. 00:16:09.400 --> 00:16:15.500 But yeah back to the story about the shits, the difficulties in life, instead of just 00:16:15.500 --> 00:16:20.900 getting angry at yourself or angry at others which causes all this violence in this world, 00:16:20.900 --> 00:16:28.500 we accept this and the real law of karma, the one you don't have to have faith in, 00:16:28.500 --> 00:16:32.700 you don't have to believe in, the one you can try out and my goodness 00:16:32.700 --> 00:16:37.400 it really works, say “Here I am with this difficult problem, 00:16:37.400 --> 00:16:42.400 it's shitty, it's difficult but what can I do about it? 00:16:42.400 --> 00:16:47.300 What can I do with it?” And you'll find out once you embrace 00:16:47.300 --> 00:16:48.700 the problems in life and the happiness in life 00:16:48.700 --> 00:16:53.600 and embrace both, this is life, enjoy the problems and 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.800 work with the difficulties, dig them in, make something happen, 00:16:56.800 --> 00:17:03.800 and you'll find that the difficulties and problems in life that is where you 00:17:03.800 --> 00:17:09.300 really really grow and become this incredibly powerful wise compassionate being. 00:17:09.300 --> 00:17:13.500 And it's not just for others, it's for yourself as well. 00:17:13.500 --> 00:17:18.600 It's the shit which grows the flowers and which gives the sweetness to the fruit and 00:17:18.600 --> 00:17:23.100 gives all the scents in a garden. That's what happens. 00:17:23.100 --> 00:17:30.600 So the Law of Karma means “what am I doing with what I've got”? 00:17:30.600 --> 00:17:34.100 And the other nice thing about the law of karma which I've been really 00:17:34.100 --> 00:17:41.000 pushing recently is where is karma made? 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:47.100 The whole idea of karma is a cause-and-effect, it gives you a sense of control, 00:17:47.100 --> 00:17:51.700 especially your past you can’t do much about your past, it’s finished, 00:17:51.700 --> 00:17:56.500 it's done, you all know that, but your future lies ahead of you and 00:17:56.500 --> 00:18:00.700 you've got this whole vista of possibilities. 00:18:00.700 --> 00:18:08.800 Now some of you think oh, not me, I can't do this, I've stuffed up all my life, 00:18:08.800 --> 00:18:12.900 I'm going to stuff up again, that is not the law of karma. 00:18:12.900 --> 00:18:17.000 The law of karma is “here I am, come to this particular spot 00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:24.200 and the law of karma means you can make anything out of what you've got”. 00:18:24.200 --> 00:18:26.100 Out of shit you can make a garden, 00:18:26.100 --> 00:18:29.500 out of happiness you can make so many other people happy. 00:18:29.500 --> 00:18:35.500 Whatever you have to deal with, the future is totally open to you. 00:18:35.500 --> 00:18:39.100 When I realised that, I realised that my goodness, 00:18:39.100 --> 00:18:42.300 I am not restricted or limited at all. 00:18:42.300 --> 00:18:48.200 The possibilities of your life are totally open and free. 00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:53.400 And sometimes I've collected stories of amazing things which happen to people. 00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:59.000 One of these stories that I was talking about to some of the monks earlier 00:18:59.000 --> 00:19:03.500 about a week or two ago, because it was this story of this young 00:19:03.500 --> 00:19:09.300 guy who was run away when he was very very young, and he reminded me of this story which 00:19:09.300 --> 00:19:15.700 I read in a newspaper or magazine about this little kid in Los Angeles who ran away 00:19:15.700 --> 00:19:22.600 when he was only five years of age. And he ran away because he was being sort of 00:19:22.600 --> 00:19:29.800 hurt by his friends and he'd been beaten by the people supposed to be looking after him. 00:19:29.800 --> 00:19:35.200 He ran away and he lived on the streets of Los Angeles from the time he was 5 years of age. 00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:41.500 He was a survivor and obviously to survive, you know, he had to get into petty crime 00:19:41.500 --> 00:19:46.900 and he went into some juvenile detention many times and one thing led to another - 00:19:46.900 --> 00:19:55.000 he became a career criminal and in and out of jail on petty crimes and the event which 00:19:55.000 --> 00:20:00.700 totally turned his life around, he was at the end of one sentence in one of 00:20:00.700 --> 00:20:08.400 the terrible prisons in California and he had a case officer who was preparing him 00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:13.600 for his parole, trying to find him a job. You know, what sort of job can you get to 00:20:13.600 --> 00:20:17.600 a person's been in and out of jail for such a long time? 00:20:17.600 --> 00:20:20.200 You can understand why, five years of age, 00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:24.000 no sort-of family to look after him, and he survived. 00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:30.000 But anyway, that his case officer was trying to find a 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:34.300 job for him and she knew a friend, now this was Los Angeles, 00:20:34.300 --> 00:20:40.100 who was trying to make a movie, and it was like most of these movies, 00:20:40.100 --> 00:20:43.300 this director was not, or the producer was not well known at 00:20:43.300 --> 00:20:47.200 the time and he wanted to make a movie, gangster movie, 00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:53.900 but they wanted to make it authentic, so that she talked this producer into hiring 00:20:53.900 --> 00:20:57.700 this guy as a consultant about how real gangsters speak. 00:20:57.700 --> 00:21:03.700 You know that was one thing he really knew, he'd been a gangster all his life, 00:21:03.700 --> 00:21:08.200 lived on the streets, so he knew the language, authentic. 00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:14.600 So he was released from jail and he advised in this movie about the language of gangsters, 00:21:14.600 --> 00:21:18.700 the producer was quite impressed with him and actually gave him a part in the movie. 00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:25.600 The director was called Quentin Tarantino, it was his first big break “Reservoir Dogs”, 00:21:25.600 --> 00:21:29.400 apparently a very violent movie, I've never seen it obviously, 00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:37.500 but this guy came out of prison, made a few million dollars out of that movie 00:21:37.500 --> 00:21:43.900 and about six months after he was released from jail, was living in Malibu, in this big mansion 00:21:43.900 --> 00:21:47.400 and he married this beautiful parole officer and he said he can't believe it, 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:53.500 sort of six months ago he was in jail with absolutely nothing, now he’s a millionaire 00:21:53.500 --> 00:21:57.200 living with other film stars with a beautiful wife and he said just how 00:21:57.200 --> 00:21:59.000 life can turn around so quickly. 00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:05.000 He was obviously in the right place at the right time but he made use of what he knew, 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:12.100 and I kind of like that story because that was actually showing just how, you know, 00:22:12.100 --> 00:22:16.500 your career, your life can just turn on a dime as they say, 00:22:16.500 --> 00:22:19.600 you just don't know what's going to happen next. 00:22:19.600 --> 00:22:23.500 You can't predict it, amazing things happen in life. 00:22:23.500 --> 00:22:30.900 So that is what the law of karma means - keep all options open. 00:22:30.900 --> 00:22:34.300 You can do anything with what you've got right now. 00:22:34.300 --> 00:22:42.100 The point is because it's possible, that's why you do the very best you can, 00:22:42.100 --> 00:22:44.200 there's no such thing as hopelessness. 00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:48.800 Incredibly powerful, positive, you can do anything. 00:22:48.800 --> 00:22:59.500 So where do you do your karma? Right now. This is a place your future is being made, 00:22:59.500 --> 00:23:05.400 and probably most people they worry about the future, they're anxious about it, 00:23:05.400 --> 00:23:11.000 they go to fortune tellers trying to predict the future and while they're going to 00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:15.400 a fortune-teller, while they're being anxious, while they're worrying about the future, 00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:21.700 they're not doing anything about their future, which is why we keep stuffing up. 00:23:21.700 --> 00:23:30.300 So what I understand about the law of karma is, karma is what I am doing right now about my future. 00:23:30.300 --> 00:23:38.000 So what can I do about my future? I can right now, as a monk, be peaceful, 00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:45.000 be kind, be compassionate, be caring, be friendly, be soft, get rid of all this 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:50.400 negativity which is going to create a terrible future for myself if I'm negative, 00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:54.200 blaming, and sort of angry at people, if I keep thinking 00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:59.300 “Why do I always have to come and give a talk on a Friday night?? 00:23:59.300 --> 00:24:06.800 Why do I have to work during the holidays?? Everybody else is having time off.. 00:24:06.800 --> 00:24:12.000 Every time since I landed on Christmas Eve I've been working every day, 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:17.000 answering people's problems.. Why me?? Moan moan moan.” 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:22.000 People can do that! 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:27.000 “Why can't I retire?? I'm over 60 now, I've worked long enough as a monk, 00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:30.700 but I'm going to have to keep working till I'm 70, till I'm 80, 00:24:30.700 --> 00:24:36.000 that's when life really starts for a holy person.” [laughs] 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:41.000 So it's very easy to moan isn't it and get negative? 00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:45.700 And I can do negativity if you really want to, but no, I'm not going to ruin 00:24:45.700 --> 00:24:51.000 my present moment and my future by looking at it with these dark glasses. 00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:55.900 So instead, I realised that I am making my future right now. 00:24:55.900 --> 00:25:01.200 If I wanna have a happy future, if I'm gonna have a happy weekend, 00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:04.500 the weekend starts now, right now in this moment, 00:25:04.500 --> 00:25:08.600 so I'm going to be peaceful, I'm going to be kind, compassionate. 00:25:08.600 --> 00:25:13.000 Compassion is a beautiful things because once you start it now, it's like a fire, 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:17.000 like one of these wildfires, it takes off, you know, 00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:19.400 all these bushfires you see in Australia, it starts from a little spark, 00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:25.200 one little spark of kindness and it takes off this whole bushfire, 00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:30.700 information of kindness in society, now this bushfire is international, 00:25:30.700 --> 00:25:35.500 the bush fire of compassion spreading, and being kind to yourself, 00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:38.000 being kind to others, being forgiving for goodness sake. 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:44.100 Why am I going to destroy my future by carrying around the pain of the past? 00:25:44.100 --> 00:25:50.000 I'm not going to do that. Right now in this moment, 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:55.300 this is a time I'm going to let go and forgive, right now this is the only time I've got, 00:25:55.300 --> 00:26:00.000 all that shit of the past bye-bye, down the toilet where it belongs, 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:06.000 flush gurgle gurgle bye-bye - to be free and I do this right now because 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:10.900 now is the place my future's being made, that's karma. 00:26:10.900 --> 00:26:17.300 Karma means work, it's making things happen. You don't make things happen tomorrow or 00:26:17.300 --> 00:26:22.300 next week - now - and understanding the power of that, 00:26:22.300 --> 00:26:26.500 this is the time to transform, this is the time you let go, 00:26:26.500 --> 00:26:29.000 this is the time you're free. 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:31.200 And once you are free, once you walk out of jail, 00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:35.000 you're out of jail forever. So get out of jail tonight, right now, 00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.000 at twenty seven minutes past eight Western Standard Time. [laughs] 00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:40.700 Now. When you learn how to do this, 00:26:40.700 --> 00:26:49.800 now that is Karma and if you try that you know that works, 00:26:49.800 --> 00:26:55.000 your future gets happier and happier, 00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:58.700 and it's also, problem comes, great! Shit, let's learn from this. 00:26:58.700 --> 00:27:03.900 So whatever happens in your life, whatever occurs to you, 00:27:03.900 --> 00:27:08.000 instead of saying there's something wrong and getting negative, 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:11.600 it’s something right with me, I've got a problem again, 00:27:11.600 --> 00:27:15.800 there’s something right with me, I have to come and give a talk 00:27:15.800 --> 00:27:18.700 on another Friday night, there's something right with me, 00:27:18.700 --> 00:27:23.800 someone's coming to ask me this counselling, there’s something right with me, 00:27:23.800 --> 00:27:28.600 after the talk people line up, “Ajahn Brahm, can you please help on my marriage”. 00:27:28.600 --> 00:27:35.000 I say “Why me? I’ve become a monk, I've never been married, 00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:42.000 why'd you ask me these silly questions?” [laughter] I mean come on! I don't mind. 00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:47.000 So that way, whatever, that's actually how I learn, listen to all your problems. 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:53.000 You know, I learn much more about marriage than if I ever got married [laughter], 00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:57.500 without the suffering and the pain. So you learn a lot that way. 00:27:57.500 --> 00:28:00.900 So this way whatever happens to you in life, you accept. 00:28:00.900 --> 00:28:09.000 So be wary the next time you use the word “wrong”, stop and say “no, there's something right.” 00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:16.500 “I made a mistake.” That's the other thing, making mistakes in life, 00:28:16.500 --> 00:28:22.000 how many of you have never made a mistake? Many people who say they've never made 00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:27.000 a mistake are either liars or they’re demented, they've forgotten. [laughter] 00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:30.900 Yeah we've all made mistakes. 00:28:30.900 --> 00:28:35.000 What happens when you make a mistake? When you do something really stupid? 00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:38.800 Do you feel embarrassed? No, when you make a mistake, 00:28:38.800 --> 00:28:43.000 something’s right, you’re a human being. 00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:47.700 Isn't that wonderful that when you make a mistake and other people make a mistake, 00:28:47.700 --> 00:28:51.900 you think “Wow! They're the same as me.” Isn't that great. 00:28:51.900 --> 00:28:59.000 We're allowed to make mistakes. That takes away a lot of guilt 00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:04.900 and more importantly fear. 00:29:04.900 --> 00:29:09.000 At work if you make a mistake what happens to you? 00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:12.700 You get told off, you lose your job. Not in Bodhinyana Monastery where I live, 00:29:12.700 --> 00:29:14.100 when people make a mistake, 00:29:14.100 --> 00:29:18.000 “Well done, you’ve made a mistake, you're human.” 00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:22.000 That's actually why the place is a mess, too many monks. [laughter] 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:23.800 It’s not a mess, it’s a very happy place, but sometimes it could be cleaner, 00:29:23.800 --> 00:29:30.400 it could be more painted, it could be this.. 00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:35.900 A lot of people always give us advice on just how to make the compost this way, 00:29:35.900 --> 00:29:37.200 and make this that way, and that way. 00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:41.200 But you know the thing which I'm most proud about, 00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:44.500 and I am proud about monasteries which we have here in the Buddhist Society, 00:29:44.500 --> 00:29:51.100 the thing I'm most proud about this place is that people feel welcome. 00:29:51.100 --> 00:29:53.400 You don't have to be perfect, 00:29:53.400 --> 00:29:57.000 you don't have to sit like Buddhists in the correct posture. 00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:01.000 Oh look, stop it, as soon as I mentioned posture a few 00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:05.000 people started to lean up.. No, why do you feel so guilty about 00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.000 not being in the right posture? 00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:13.000 Or they don't bow. Please if you don't want to bow don't bow, 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:13.200 don't feel guilty about anything, there’s nothing wrong with not bowing, 00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:18.500 there’s nothing wrong with whatever you do, there’s nothing wrong with the kids sort of crying. 00:30:18.500 --> 00:30:22.000 There was one time here, I will never forget this, 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:24.300 there was a lady over in the corner there fell asleep during one of my talks 00:30:24.300 --> 00:30:31.900 and started snoring. [laughter] Is there something wrong about that? 00:30:31.900 --> 00:30:35.500 The thing which was a mistake was when somebody tried to wake her up, 00:30:35.500 --> 00:30:41.700 and I told them afterwards, that woman, because, you know, she told me that she 00:30:41.700 --> 00:30:47.500 was one of these unfortunate victims of domestic abuse and she was so afraid 00:30:47.500 --> 00:30:54.500 in her house, you know, she was not sleeping, so tense, and she came here in this room 00:30:54.500 --> 00:31:01.000 here and this was the first place in weeks where she felt safe. 00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:06.300 I thought that's great, it's not just the talks, it's the atmosphere you create here, 00:31:06.300 --> 00:31:11.400 that's even more important than whatever we say. The fact that she could feel safe here and 00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:14.100 she could lay down and she could actually fall asleep, 00:31:14.100 --> 00:31:18.200 I thought wow what a great achievement of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia, 00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:22.800 that you could give that feeling of safety and kindness and she could fall asleep, 00:31:22.800 --> 00:31:27.000 and somebody woke her up, that was a mistake, never do that again, 00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:30.400 let her sleep, she needed it. 00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:38.200 Now that's what I call like making good karma. There's nothing wrong and if you think 00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:41.900 there’s something wrong, you disturb a person who really needs to sleep. 00:31:41.900 --> 00:31:46.000 Sometimes you make what people call mistakes, and how many times you've been told off 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:49.100 and then “what did I do wrong? 00:31:49.100 --> 00:31:54.300 I was just...okay, I just made an error, made a slip but that's who I am.” 00:31:54.300 --> 00:31:59.900 And it's so nice to be actually accepted and loved and realise, 00:31:59.900 --> 00:32:02.800 no you haven't made anything wrong, you made a mistake, 00:32:02.800 --> 00:32:07.000 but there's nothing wrong with making a mistake. 00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:11.000 So number one we don't hide our mistakes, we face up to them and learn from them. 00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:14.000 We don't think “no no that wasn't me, I didn't do that.” 00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:16.100 How many times, we got this thing in our monastery, 00:32:16.100 --> 00:32:18.000 when something goes wrong or something goes missing 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:21.100 we blame the kangaroos. Those kangaroos again, 00:32:21.990 --> 00:32:25.780 they’ve stolen my cloth, they’ve taken it... [laughs] 00:32:25.780 --> 00:32:30.030 That's why they've got these big pockets, you know, that's what happens, 00:32:30.030 --> 00:32:35.570 you should look in those pockets sometimes. [laughter] 00:32:35.570 --> 00:32:41.000 There was a time, years ago.. You know, your shoes you leave outside, 00:32:41.000 --> 00:32:44.500 you know the advice we always give you, you bring shoes to a Buddhist temple, 00:32:44.500 --> 00:32:49.000 don't bring expensive designer shoes, because somebody's going to look at theirs 00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:52.600 and look at yours and think “no I'll take yours thank you.” [laughter] 00:32:52.600 --> 00:33:00.100 But there was the time here when people were losing shoes but it was really weird, 00:33:00.100 --> 00:33:07.100 it was only one, one shoe of the pair. And this was happening for weeks, 00:33:07.100 --> 00:33:11.000 it's a true story, we wondered what was going on? 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:14.000 Was it a one-legged man? We're looking at all the people with one leg 00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:17.000 coming in here stealing shoes… [laughter] 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:18.900 And then we found out the answer, it was actually the dog next door. [laughter] 00:33:18.900 --> 00:33:23.900 You were in here, the dog was coming in, he had some fetish for shoes, 00:33:23.900 --> 00:33:30.000 because the owner looked in its kennel and the kennel was half full of shoes from you people. 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.500 [laughter] Look, the dog had just snuck up, 00:33:34.500 --> 00:33:37.000 taken a shoe back every Friday night and after only a couple of months of that, 00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:38.000 had a kennel full of shoes. So was that wrong? 00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:48.500 Ah, that’s just a dog that was a bit screwed up, 00:33:48.500 --> 00:33:53.400 I don't know, but it's just a dog being a dog, collecting things, you know, 00:33:53.400 --> 00:33:56.000 you collect things, dogs collects things, 00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:57.600 but you can't, can you blame the dog? 00:33:57.600 --> 00:34:02.000 There's nothing wrong, it's just a dog being weird that's all. 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:06.000 Humans, you guys are weird, so I don't see why dogs can't be weird. 00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:09.000 But what we’re actually doing there is realising that yeah, it's okay to make mistakes. 00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:18.500 And the psychology of that is actually people make less mistakes when they're allowed to. 00:34:18.500 --> 00:34:23.200 When you're so terrified of making mistakes, we call it walking on eggshells. 00:34:23.200 --> 00:34:29.200 When you walk on eggshells you're not relaxed, you can't perform to your highest and 00:34:29.200 --> 00:34:31.400 that is why people make so many mistakes. 00:34:31.400 --> 00:34:35.600 So look, and I know I’ve said it before, that sometimes the Buddhist Society 00:34:35.600 --> 00:34:38.200 of Western Australia on a Friday night is the best singles club in Western Australia, 00:34:38.200 --> 00:34:43.900 people come up to find somebody to date. But if you are, [laughs], 00:34:43.900 --> 00:34:50.200 if you are sort of going out with the person, please tell each other 00:34:50.200 --> 00:34:55.000 “look, you know, girlfriend, boyfriend, you're allowed to make a mistake.” 00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:58.700 Tell them that from the beginning so they can relax okay. 00:34:58.700 --> 00:35:02.000 And when you relax you have a much better time together. 00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:06.000 You can be yourself. 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.400 When you're so so uptight and you don't want to make a mistake, 00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:10.300 you don't want to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, 00:35:10.300 --> 00:35:13.200 ah that's just such a terrible time out together. 00:35:13.200 --> 00:35:18.300 And when you get married, tell your darling husband, 00:35:18.300 --> 00:35:23.000 “husband you are allowed to make a mistake, promise. Ajahn Brahm told me.” 00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:27.100 Even get a piece of paper, you’re allowed to, and the wife, 00:35:27.100 --> 00:35:31.800 you’re allowed to make mistakes, so you can really relax in life and understand. 00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:34.500 Trust people, they're trying to do their best. 00:35:34.500 --> 00:35:37.800 Each one of you, come on, you really are trying hard 00:35:37.800 --> 00:35:41.000 to do your best in life. When you go to work you try 00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:43.900 to do the best for the company, sometimes you make mistakes, 00:35:43.900 --> 00:35:47.400 but trust people, they really want to do their best 00:35:47.400 --> 00:35:52.000 and most people are like that, 00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:57.000 even these guys I’ve seen in jail, in prison, give them a chance. 00:35:57.000 --> 00:36:02.000 They want to do good, they’re trying to do the best in life 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:03.500 but sometimes the odds are stacked against them, and it's so difficult but underneath 00:36:03.500 --> 00:36:06.100 they really want to do good, they want to be nice people. 00:36:06.100 --> 00:36:10.000 It’s just so tough doing it, the whole society is pushing them, 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:12.900 you know, in the opposite direction. 00:36:12.900 --> 00:36:16.800 So when you actually trust a person, allow them to make mistakes, 00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:19.400 they don't make so many, they're not afraid. 00:36:19.400 --> 00:36:27.200 It's that fear, guilt, punishment, that's the sort of stuff which messes up 00:36:27.200 --> 00:36:31.900 your life and other people's lives. That is bad karma, 00:36:31.900 --> 00:36:38.200 making mistakes is not bad karma, being afraid is. 00:36:38.200 --> 00:36:44.000 Getting angry is bad karma, getting guilty that is bad karma, 00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:46.100 blaming is bad karma. 00:36:46.100 --> 00:36:50.000 Accepting, embracing, compassion, learning, looking at these things as shit, 00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:53.600 digging them in, that's good kamma. 00:36:53.600 --> 00:37:00.600 And I don't think you need to have faith in that, I think you can all understand it, 00:37:00.600 --> 00:37:05.700 and you can try it out. And my goodness, it really really works. 00:37:05.700 --> 00:37:10.800 Try that out with your kids, I don't know, they may have got their results from their 00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:15.900 year 12 exams or other exams, please don't ever sort-of blame your kids, 00:37:15.900 --> 00:37:21.000 “stupid kid, terrible kid, bad kid, you made too many mistakes in your exams.” 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:27.000 Oh, come on! That just makes them really feel so guilty and so terrible. 00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:31.200 That may have happened to you in your life, well how does that feel? 00:37:31.200 --> 00:37:36.400 You feel so rejected, you feel a failure and you're only sort of 17 years of age, 00:37:36.400 --> 00:37:41.000 you're already a failure in life.. Terrible thing. 00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:45.600 No, just really build them up, that's why I give you tricks to build them up. 00:37:45.600 --> 00:37:51.400 If your kid in year 12 who just got their exam results, 00:37:51.400 --> 00:38:01.120 if they came in the top 5% or the bottom 5%, they're bad Buddhists, [laughs] 00:38:01.120 --> 00:38:05.898 they're not good Buddhists, because what do Buddhists believe in? 00:38:05.898 --> 00:38:10.359 Middle Way. Yeah. so they come in the middle somewhere, 00:38:10.359 --> 00:38:14.696 you're a really good Buddhist. [laughter] In the middle, you know, 00:38:14.696 --> 00:38:23.101 the big ordinary people in the middle there, they are the best. 00:38:23.101 --> 00:38:27.460 The people who’ve come in the top 5% are a bit weird aren’t they? 00:38:27.460 --> 00:38:29.700 The bottom 5%, a bit weird.. 00:38:29.700 --> 00:38:32.300 No they’re not, whatever, well done, you worked really hard. 00:38:32.300 --> 00:38:36.000 If you've got all those good marks well done, enjoy it, you deserve it. 00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:39.700 If you haven't got those good marks, well done, 00:38:39.700 --> 00:38:44.000 sort of more shit for your garden. [laughter] 00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:46.410 Embrace everything. 00:38:46.410 --> 00:38:50.600 So when we say it’s mistakes of course that is where the problem comes. 00:38:50.600 --> 00:38:54.100 Guilt, fear, “I don't want to make the mistake again”, 00:38:54.100 --> 00:38:57.100 makes you tense which means you can't perform well. 00:38:57.100 --> 00:39:05.400 So the real calm I'm talking about is understanding it's not what you're experiencing, 00:39:05.400 --> 00:39:08.600 the difficulties, the problems, the happiness, the joy, 00:39:08.600 --> 00:39:13.000 whatever you're experiencing in life, it's how you're experiencing it, 00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:18.500 that is the source of karma, that is where karma lives. 00:39:18.500 --> 00:39:23.300 So you're going through a divorce, that's part of life, it happens, 00:39:23.300 --> 00:39:27.400 how are you going through that divorce, how are you doing this? 00:39:27.400 --> 00:39:32.500 With anger, with guilt, thinking this is a big mistake in life, 00:39:32.500 --> 00:39:38.900 no no it's just, this is part of life, it's part of your life.. 00:39:38.900 --> 00:39:43.000 By being sick, there's nothing wrong with this, 00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:47.000 it happens, learn from it, grow from it, become better but don't get 00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:50.700 into guilt and anger, that is the bad karma. 00:39:50.700 --> 00:39:53.400 You're going through another problem in life, 00:39:53.400 --> 00:39:59.000 you're getting a cancer or you have some death in the family, 00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:02.900 that's not bad karma but if you really get into solid grief 00:40:02.900 --> 00:40:06.600 about this, into denial, into anger, “why did this happen”, 00:40:06.600 --> 00:40:09.100 looking for somebody to blame, blaming yourself, 00:40:09.100 --> 00:40:13.300 “I should have looked after my mum, maybe I should've gone and called a doctor earlier”, 00:40:13.300 --> 00:40:15.400 that sort of stuff, that's bad karma. 00:40:15.400 --> 00:40:22.600 It's the way you relate to life, not life itself. 00:40:22.600 --> 00:40:27.100 Because the way life happens, you just have to do a survey, 00:40:27.100 --> 00:40:32.200 you know, people die. Is there anything wrong with dying? 00:40:32.200 --> 00:40:40.600 Is there anything wrong with cancer? It’s part of life, we accept, embrace. 00:40:40.600 --> 00:40:45.400 If it hurts, shit, we're going to make something out of this. 00:40:45.400 --> 00:40:49.500 If you're having a great time, wonderful, we enjoy it. 00:40:49.500 --> 00:40:56.500 But guilt, anger, denial, blaming, especially blaming ourselves, 00:40:56.500 --> 00:41:00.400 that is a problem, that is the bad karma, 00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:03.800 that is a cause for most of the misery in this life. 00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:09.000 Look, when you think it's bad, that's why people don't get checked up in time, 00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:12.900 because they're afraid, they think it's bad, it's terrible, 00:41:12.900 --> 00:41:17.200 that's why people just get so into denial when someone's close to death, 00:41:17.200 --> 00:41:22.500 we think “no no they can't die, they're too young to die, 00:41:22.500 --> 00:41:27.000 they're only 90!” [laughter] 00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:29.700 I collect all these quotes. There’s this quote of a person 00:41:29.700 --> 00:41:33.100 who was 90 years of age, never had much sickness in their life, 00:41:33.100 --> 00:41:34.100 in the United States. 00:41:34.100 --> 00:41:36.400 I mean these are the quotes which I always collect, 00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:40.200 one of the healthiest people you could imagine, they went to have a check-up when 00:41:40.200 --> 00:41:43.200 they were in their early 90s, they discovered a tumor, 00:41:43.200 --> 00:41:49.300 and they came out of the hospital saying “why me?” [laughter] 00:41:49.300 --> 00:41:52.400 90 years of age! You got away with it and now you say 00:41:52.400 --> 00:41:55.400 “why me?” But that's actually what we'd all say, 00:41:55.400 --> 00:41:56.700 isn't it, if we don't really understand the law of Karma. 00:41:56.700 --> 00:42:04.000 The law of karma is happening right now, you are making your future, right now, 00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:10.400 by the attitude you have to what's happening in your life. 00:42:10.400 --> 00:42:12.000 You say this is wrong, 00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:13.600 there’s something wrong with me, I'm sick. 00:42:13.600 --> 00:42:17.000 There’s something wrong with me, the relationship is not working out, 00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:20.600 there’s something wrong with me, my career is not going well. 00:42:20.600 --> 00:42:26.600 That is the bad karma there, the attitude you have to what happens in life. 00:42:26.600 --> 00:42:30.100 The good karma, “yeah this is happening, 00:42:30.100 --> 00:42:32.000 now how can I learn with this, how can I deal with this, 00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:33.100 let's make something out of this.” 00:42:33.100 --> 00:42:38.500 It's like a very simple saying which when I read it, I think as a student, 00:42:38.500 --> 00:42:42.400 it’s an old Chinese saying, I wrote it down and I remembered this 00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:47.000 for the rest of my life, the old Chinese saying 00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:52.000 “it's better to light a candle than complain about darkness”. 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:56.200 It's a very beautiful, very simple saying which encapsulates 00:42:56.200 --> 00:42:57.900 all which I've taught this evening. 00:42:57.900 --> 00:43:02.900 It's better to light a candle than complain about darkness. 00:43:02.900 --> 00:43:07.200 So whatever you want to complain about in life: your husband, 00:43:07.200 --> 00:43:10.300 your wife, your kids, your mother-in-law, 00:43:10.300 --> 00:43:11.600 people actually do point this out, 00:43:11.600 --> 00:43:13.000 your father-in-law, I can't be sexist anymore, 00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:14.200 not just mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, 00:43:14.200 --> 00:43:22.000 monks, nuns, whatever it is, instead of complaining, 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:28.300 light a candle and that's amazing thing, there's always many candles around to light, 00:43:28.300 --> 00:43:32.300 there's always something you can do, something positive, 00:43:32.300 --> 00:43:35.300 and sometimes just embracing and learning. 00:43:35.300 --> 00:43:38.600 Sometimes people ask you what is the meaning of life? 00:43:38.600 --> 00:43:44.600 Such a simple answer to a very deep question: it's learning, it’s growing. 00:43:44.600 --> 00:43:54.800 Life is work in progress. Your life, your progress, how are you growing? 00:43:54.800 --> 00:44:02.000 I don't mean just growing in size or in your bank account or whatever, 00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:09.000 I'm growing in size, [laughter] but I have to grow in size to accommodate 00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:16.000 my heart which is growing and growing and growing, [laughter], the compassion. 00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:19.700 So now I’m talking about you growing your wisdom, you growing your compassion, 00:44:19.700 --> 00:44:22.200 you’re growing your understanding of life, and of course that is the meaning of life. 00:44:22.200 --> 00:44:26.900 And I think you don't need to believe that, you understand that. 00:44:26.900 --> 00:44:32.700 So in the past year how much have you learnt? How much have you grown? 00:44:32.700 --> 00:44:36.400 How much a wiser, kinder person have you become? 00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:42.000 That's the meaning of life. So how do you become wise, 00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.500 how do you become kind, how do you understand things? 00:44:45.500 --> 00:44:49.400 Right now is where you do this. 00:44:49.400 --> 00:44:55.400 This is where you build the happiness, even the health, 00:44:55.400 --> 00:44:59.400 and the compassion, the wisdom and everything in life, 00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:05.300 this is where karma is made, right now. 00:45:05.300 --> 00:45:09.000 And understanding that you don't only know the meaning of life, 00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:14.200 you know the secret of life, where it's hidden. 00:45:14.200 --> 00:45:19.000 People look for the secret of life in the future with all your plans and 00:45:19.000 --> 00:45:22.200 expectations and what you're going to achieve next, where you're going to go, 00:45:22.200 --> 00:45:24.800 you look for the secret there, you never find anything. 00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:30.000 You look for the secret in the past, searching over all the things which have 00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:35.200 ever happened to try to find meaning from the mistakes of the past - 00:45:35.200 --> 00:45:39.400 you never find anything except just anger and guilt and negativity. 00:45:39.400 --> 00:45:46.500 You only find the meaning of life right now, this is where the secret is. 00:45:46.500 --> 00:45:51.600 The secret is not a book, the secret is in this moment here, 00:45:51.600 --> 00:45:52.900 absolutely for free. 00:45:52.900 --> 00:45:59.700 I remember this Zen teacher, she wrote this book and I love the cover, 00:45:59.700 --> 00:46:03.500 the title of the book, she called it “Selling Water by the River” [laughter]. 00:46:03.500 --> 00:46:08.000 It's a very beautiful title “selling water by the river”. 00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:13.000 I think it's an old Zen story. It's stupid isn’t it? 00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:16.100 You know, it's a river there, get your own water, but still, you know, 00:46:16.100 --> 00:46:20.000 sharp people: “Do you want some water? You want some water?” 00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.000 That's why we don't sell anything here because I feel terrible selling things, 00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:25.700 because it’s all for free, it’s right here, right now, available for you. 00:46:25.700 --> 00:46:31.000 Truth is like the air, no one could own it. 00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:34.800 Not Buddhism, not Christianity, 00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:37.500 not Islam, not philosophy, 00:46:37.500 --> 00:46:40.000 not atheism, no one can own the air. 00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.800 We all share it. You can pollute the air, 00:46:44.800 --> 00:46:50.000 and people can pollute truth, but still there's enough truth out there, 00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:53.600 just needs to be breathed in, it's right there, 00:46:53.600 --> 00:46:57.600 in front of your nose, the truth of now. 00:46:57.600 --> 00:47:00.500 That is how I understand karma. 00:47:00.500 --> 00:47:04.600 So thank you for listening to this talk. 00:47:04.600 --> 00:47:13.300 Now all those people in the far reaches of the universe, any questions please SMS them. 00:47:13.300 --> 00:47:19.200 But first of all our local crowd, is there any questions about the talk this evening? 00:47:19.200 --> 00:47:27.800 Okay we're going to get some questions from the Internet, from Ian Ternet. 00:47:27.800 --> 00:47:33.000 Okay, and we can see where this is from. That’s why I finished a bit earlier 00:47:33.000 --> 00:47:37.000 so we can get the international questions and also from you guys as well. 00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:39.800 Denis Shephard: Okay if there's anybody here who’d like to ask a question, 00:47:39.800 --> 00:47:43.200 certainly encourage you to do that, but if you wouldn't mind just to wait for 00:47:43.200 --> 00:47:47.000 the roving microphone that'll come to you, but if you just put your hand up, 00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:50.200 if you've got a question and we'll come to you with the microphone and then 00:47:50.200 --> 00:47:50.700 everything will run seamlessly. 00:47:50.700 --> 00:47:54.600 Ajahn Brahm, Agnes from Dubai has asked how do you motivate people who have no will to live? 00:47:54.600 --> 00:48:03.000 Ajan Brahm: How do you motivate people who have no will to live? 00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:10.200 Well look, if you want to teach them about reincarnation, so like you live here, 00:48:10.200 --> 00:48:12.700 if you die here you just get reborn again anyway, 00:48:12.700 --> 00:48:19.000 so you can't get out of life that easy.. [laughter] 00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:23.800 So if there was an easy way I'd have taken it years ago. [laughter] 00:48:23.800 --> 00:48:30.000 So here you are, instead of having the will to live, 00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:36.000 just having the will to be compassionate, to be kind. 00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:40.700 So if you could actually state about life and say.. because will to live is 00:48:40.700 --> 00:48:43.900 the fear of the future and they’ve just had enough, 00:48:43.900 --> 00:48:49.300 and they can't see any positivity or any hope, and hopefully the talk which I've given 00:48:49.300 --> 00:48:54.200 this evening was actually saying there's nothing wrong with life. 00:48:54.200 --> 00:48:58.200 Life has always been like this, you know, if you read history, 00:48:58.200 --> 00:49:02.000 it's always been pretty much the same. 00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:06.000 You know, years ago I hadn’t read a newspaper for a couple of years when I was in Thailand, 00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:09.000 actually longer than that, about four or five years I hadn't seen any newspaper. 00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:12.300 When I saw my first newspaper after four or five years break, 00:49:12.300 --> 00:49:15.000 I realised all the stories were exactly the same. 00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.500 They just changed the names of the countries, the names of the people, 00:49:19.500 --> 00:49:26.000 but the storylines were always the same - violence, wars, sex, corruption, exactly the same. 00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:30.900 So the world does never change, it’s just people's attitudes. 00:49:30.900 --> 00:49:36.500 So see if we can change our attitude towards our life and then 00:49:36.500 --> 00:49:44.000 we can find it very rich. It's so rich we never really want to give it away. 00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:49.700 So I don't know if that answers your question in Dubai, but you know, 00:49:49.700 --> 00:49:55.000 certainly that the will to live is actually the will to be kind. 00:49:55.000 --> 00:50:00.000 Sometimes they ask, what actually motivates you Ajahn Brahm, and it’s just.. 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.000 Actually there’s hardly any motivation there at all, it’s just ‘being’. 00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.500 Because the will to live, you know, what do you mean “the will to live”, 00:50:09.500 --> 00:50:13.400 just take away the will to live, the will to die, 00:50:13.400 --> 00:50:15.500 the will to go anywhere and just be. 00:50:15.500 --> 00:50:22.000 It's much more fun when you don't have any plans. Anyway, hopefully that makes some sense. 00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:28.000 Denis: Thank you Ajahn Brahm I hope that satisfies Agnes. 00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:34.000 And Reinbart from Germany, this is a little bit of a curly one for 00:50:34.000 --> 00:50:40.000 you Ajahn and a bit off the topic but how can animals improve their kamma? 00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:46.000 Ajahn: How can animals improve their karma, there's one of my friends over in Melbourne, 00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:50.100 now that's Priya Mendes [?] and she’s got this big dog and it was Labrador wasn’t it, 00:50:50.100 --> 00:50:59.300 and when I saw it, I said “what's its name” and she gave it the name, she's a doctor, 00:50:59.300 --> 00:51:03.000 she gave it the name “Chemo”. Chemo the dog, 00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:05.200 that's a really weird name, why do you name it Chemo? 00:51:05.200 --> 00:51:11.100 She said “because I'm training this dog to be one of these dogs who goes into wards 00:51:11.100 --> 00:51:17.000 with people who are very, very sick, because we all know that if you take a 00:51:17.000 --> 00:51:22.100 little dog or a cat or a rabbit into a ward where people are very sick, 00:51:22.100 --> 00:51:27.300 just being able to pet that dog, to stroke it, have this beautiful soft animal in there, 00:51:27.300 --> 00:51:32.400 the compassion which a small animal or even a big animal generates amongst 00:51:32.400 --> 00:51:38.400 human beings has a very strong positive effect on people's recovery. 00:51:38.400 --> 00:51:41.200 They actually get better. 00:51:41.200 --> 00:51:46.000 Having a beautiful dog to play with in the ward, it makes you sort of, gets up all your, 00:51:46.000 --> 00:51:49.600 what's it called, the, not serotonin, all these endomorphines, 00:51:49.600 --> 00:51:53.200 all this beautiful health things in your body, you all know better than I do... 00:51:53.200 --> 00:51:57.000 but you know it really works. 00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:00.700 So that's why she called her dog Chemo because it was short for chemotherapy, 00:52:00.700 --> 00:52:06.100 that was a little joke, she's a good student of mine, 00:52:06.100 --> 00:52:10.000 has got a stupid sense of humor just like me. [laughter] 00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:13.300 So Chemo, Chemo the dog, and of course that dog went into so many 00:52:13.300 --> 00:52:15.600 wards in its life, healing people, 00:52:15.600 --> 00:52:18.900 helping people, that dog must have made huge amounts of 00:52:18.900 --> 00:52:23.700 good karma just by generating compassion in other beings. 00:52:23.700 --> 00:52:32.300 So that is how animals made good kamma, they can be just so kind and 00:52:32.300 --> 00:52:35.400 so loving and so trusting, these beautiful qualities, 00:52:35.400 --> 00:52:41.900 and you see that in the little dog or in a cat and they remind you how to be kind. 00:52:41.900 --> 00:52:47.100 The dog never gets angry at you or upset at you. Usually. [laughter] 00:52:47.100 --> 00:52:54.000 And why is it you have a dog and they're just so nice, 00:52:54.000 --> 00:53:01.000 and you get a wife, [laughter] there's so much trouble. 00:53:01.000 --> 00:53:07.100 I said that because I said husbands before so now it’s wives. 00:53:07.100 --> 00:53:15.100 Why can't human beings be much more like animals in that sense, totally trusting. 00:53:15.100 --> 00:53:20.000 Your dog, your cat, trusts you 100% and it's so forgiving of you. 00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:24.300 Now if you miss a meal or something, yeah the dog would be a bit upset but he 00:53:24.300 --> 00:53:29.600 will forgive you and still will come and sit on your lap afterwards. 00:53:29.600 --> 00:53:35.200 Now, can your wife or your husband do that? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that was it. 00:53:35.200 --> 00:53:43.000 So that's how animals can make really good karma, teaching about kindness, about love, about trust. 00:53:43.000 --> 00:53:50.300 And I used to teach people in Thailand, I said “look, at least dogs they keep 00:53:50.300 --> 00:53:56.100 three of the five precepts, they keep three.” 00:53:56.100 --> 00:54:02.000 Dogs don't usually kill, stealing, no no, adultery no no, they can't stop themselves [laughter]. 00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:07.000 But have you ever seen a dog lie? 00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:12.000 And have you ever seen a dog drink alcohol? [laughter] 00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:17.000 So I said at least dogs keep three precepts. 00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:22.000 There's some human beings who can't keep any of the five precepts! 00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:27.000 So you see the dogs can actually make much better good karma than many other people. 00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:32.000 [laughs] So I've never seen a dog lie, I’ve never seen a dog get drunk and 00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:35.350 dogs don’t kill things. 00:54:35.350 --> 00:54:41.250 So dogs keep some precepts, so they can make good karma. 00:54:41.250 --> 00:54:45.000 And also have you ever seen dogs meditating, or cats? Sometimes they sit next to you and 00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:52.500 they're incredibly peaceful. And some of those cats, 00:54:52.500 --> 00:54:58.000 they could sit for hours and hours and hours and hours, much longer than you can, 00:54:58.000 --> 00:55:03.000 so maybe those cats are closer to enlightenment than we really think. [laughter] 00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:08.000 Okay carry on, before I get into more trouble. 00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:11.100 Dennis: Thank you Ajahn Brahm, now Sati from Boulder Colorado 00:55:11.100 --> 00:55:18.000 asks what are some basic daily practices a layperson should do? 00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:23.500 Ajahn: A daily practice is start now! So yeah just be kind, be compassionate. 00:55:23.500 --> 00:55:27.500 It doesn't matter what you do, how you do it is really important. 00:55:27.500 --> 00:55:32.800 So you may be just driving to work in the morning, how are you driving to work? 00:55:32.800 --> 00:55:37.500 Are you listening to the radio and getting yourself all upset? 00:55:37.500 --> 00:55:41.600 When you’re on the way to work is your mind already at work? 00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:48.300 A daily practice when you drive to work is every time you get to the stop sign, 00:55:48.300 --> 00:55:50.200 remember that's the Buddha teaching you. 00:55:50.200 --> 00:55:58.100 Stop, be peaceful, come into the present moment, be here. 00:55:58.100 --> 00:56:05.000 So all the stop signs which you see around the cities of the world, that is the Dhamma, 00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:12.300 that is the teaching reminding you - stop and be here rather than 00:56:12.300 --> 00:56:16.100 always moving moving moving. So that's one of the nice daily practices. 00:56:16.100 --> 00:56:20.000 And the other daily practice - Emperor’s Three Questions - 00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:22.900 now is always the most important time, 00:56:22.900 --> 00:56:25.300 the person in front of you is always the most important person. 00:56:25.300 --> 00:56:30.500 So in Boulder Colorado, the person right in front of you right now 00:56:30.500 --> 00:56:34.100 and every moment of your life, give them importance. 00:56:34.100 --> 00:56:39.000 And the only thing to do is to care. 00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:42.900 The Emperor’s Three Questions - that's all you really need to know about life. 00:56:42.900 --> 00:56:46.000 Now is the most important time, 00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:47.500 the one you're with is the most important person, 00:56:47.500 --> 00:56:50.500 and the only thing to do in life is to care. 00:56:50.500 --> 00:56:55.900 Doesn't matter what you're doing, working at home by yourself, 00:56:55.900 --> 00:56:59.000 if you’re by yourself, you are the most important person because 00:56:59.000 --> 00:56:59.800 that's the one you're with. 00:56:59.800 --> 00:57:03.700 Caring for yourself and caring for others and caring for life, 00:57:03.700 --> 00:57:10.300 that's all we really need, that is your daily practice. 00:57:10.300 --> 00:57:15.500 You can say I'll just sit meditating for half an hour, to do chanting, 00:57:15.500 --> 00:57:21.000 to do charity work for half an hour, that doesn't really sort of cut much ice. 00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:24.900 The thing to do… is that right “cut much ice”? I don't know, but it doesn't really work. 00:57:24.900 --> 00:57:27.400 What really does work is developing the 00:57:27.400 --> 00:57:31.700 right attitude to whatever you have to do in life, that should be your daily practice, 00:57:31.700 --> 00:57:35.400 developing the right attitude to whatever you have to do. Okay. 00:57:35.400 --> 00:57:42.000 Dennis: So is there any further questions from the room here? 00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:48.300 Ajahn: Okay where are you from? [laughter] We’ve already got from Boulder, 00:57:48.300 --> 00:57:54.000 we've got from Dubai and we got from Germany, and this is Eddie from Willetton. [laughter] 00:57:54.000 --> 00:58:00.000 Eddie: Shelley. 00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:06.000 Ajahn: Oh Shelley, close enough, Shelley is a suburb of Perth. 00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:10.400 Eddie: Ajahn Brahm you know this karma, it could be like God's judgment, 00:58:10.400 --> 00:58:14.400 you can call it too.. you see there's a tendency for people when 00:58:14.400 --> 00:58:19.000 there's problem to blame it on, when there's no way, 00:58:19.000 --> 00:58:21.900 like they can’t think of anything, they blame it on karma... 00:58:21.900 --> 00:58:27.000 But there are certain instances.. yourself okay, 00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:31.600 it's a personal thing, you can link it. 00:58:31.600 --> 00:58:36.000 Could it be that I've done this, something wrong in my earlier life? 00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:39.900 You only yourself would know, but most people 00:58:39.900 --> 00:58:44.000 “oh punishment by God this thing or my karma”, 00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:48.000 it’s easy to blame on that isn’t it? 00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:52.000 But in certain instances only you will know that you can link it, 00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:56.000 could it be that, and that’s also a learning process. 00:58:56.000 --> 00:58:56.500 Ajahn: It's always a learning process; 00:58:56.500 --> 00:59:02.000 the word which really rankles with me is punishment. 00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:06.800 If there ever was a God they wouldn't punish anybody. 00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:10.300 High beings would never punish anybody. 00:59:10.300 --> 00:59:13.800 Why? Because high beings have just got love and compassion. 00:59:13.800 --> 00:59:21.600 Love and compassion forgives, it would never be able to punish anybody. 00:59:21.600 --> 00:59:27.900 It's really hard for me sometimes as an abbot, I just can't get my head around punishing anybody, 00:59:27.900 --> 00:59:32.500 so I'm pretty slack sometimes and I shouldn't be, “you’re stupid, get out”, 00:59:32.500 --> 00:59:36.000 you just can't do it. 00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:38.500 And I'm not sort of God but you know, a high being there's no way 00:59:38.500 --> 00:59:42.100 you could ever punish anybody, impossible. 00:59:42.100 --> 00:59:46.000 The whole idea of punishment goes against compassion, 00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:49.800 it is antithetic towards compassion and kindness. 00:59:49.800 --> 00:59:56.100 It's love which teaches people, forgiveness which makes them grow. 00:59:56.100 --> 01:00:00.600 Punishment creates fear, hides the problem, 01:00:00.600 --> 01:00:06.200 people never admit to what they've done, they deny anything which has happened, 01:00:06.200 --> 01:00:11.800 they spin, they just don't admit to the truth. Fear of punishment. 01:00:11.800 --> 01:00:19.200 And there is never any truth. Punishment actually hides the truth. 01:00:19.200 --> 01:00:25.500 Forgiveness brings the truth up so we can understand it and learn from it. 01:00:25.500 --> 01:00:31.000 So that's why even it may be connected to something you've done in the past but 01:00:31.000 --> 01:00:37.000 it's not punishment for what you've done in the past, it’s just cause and effect. 01:00:37.000 --> 01:00:40.600 Yeah, this has led to this, so it means there's still things you have to learn. 01:00:40.600 --> 01:00:43.100 You still need some more shit in your garden, 01:00:43.100 --> 01:00:49.000 that's why you get another delivery. [laughter] 01:00:49.000 --> 01:00:53.100 So that's actually how I understand it, but please the main point is, 01:00:53.100 --> 01:00:55.100 think about it, if you’re really kind, 01:00:55.100 --> 01:00:58.100 if you’ve really got compassion, how can you punish anybody? 01:00:58.100 --> 01:01:00.800 And it does not work. 01:01:00.800 --> 01:01:03.800 Ask any psychologist, someone's made a mistake, 01:01:03.800 --> 01:01:08.100 I've made a mistake, I just want someone to understand me. 01:01:08.100 --> 01:01:13.000 I was trying, please believe in me, trust in me, I'm trying, I made a mistake okay. 01:01:13.000 --> 01:01:18.000 When somebody comes and believes in me and they trust me, 01:01:18.000 --> 01:01:20.400 and say “never mind”, you notice. 01:01:20.400 --> 01:01:22.400 “I'm behind you, I'm there to support you, 01:01:22.400 --> 01:01:26.100 other people might sort of put you down and criticize you, but not me”, 01:01:26.100 --> 01:01:32.500 and you feel just at last somebody understands and that makes you try even 01:01:32.500 --> 01:01:34.300 harder to be better. 01:01:34.300 --> 01:01:40.100 You actually do grow from forgiveness. Try it and see, forgive your kids, 01:01:40.100 --> 01:01:44.100 forgive your partner in life, no matter what they've done. 01:01:44.100 --> 01:01:51.300 They will grow, as you would hope to be forgiven by the people who love you. 01:01:51.300 --> 01:01:57.800 That's what we have lovers for. A lover is someone who understands us 01:01:57.800 --> 01:02:02.200 very deeply and profoundly, understands us enough 01:02:02.200 --> 01:02:04.400 to know the importance of forgiveness. 01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:12.000 So there’s somebody I can go to, who loves me so much that whatever I've done 01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:15.500 the door to their heart is always open to me. 01:02:15.500 --> 01:02:21.200 I had a father like that, that's why I loved him so much, 01:02:21.200 --> 01:02:24.000 that's why I, hopefully, became a really good person because 01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:27.000 he trusted me hundred and fifty thousand million percent. 01:02:27.000 --> 01:02:30.000 Okay..