(music)

What prompted you to come see me?

INTERVIEWERS: Great question.
We would ask you that!

INTERVIEWERS: Yeah.

How so? What do you mean?

(laughter)

I didn't invite you. What would I
want you in my house for?

INTERVIEWERS: We were going to ask you,
'Why are we here?'

I have no idea. Get out!

I came to Hollywood in '61. We
found an apartment on an estate in the

Hollywood Hills, and rented it. The second
night we're there, we hear a rustling outside.

So she went, peeked through the blinds
of the window, and there was a large avocado

tree growing right up next to the
apartment, and she beckoned me over.

I looked down, and there were two raccoons,
sitting on their back, chewing on avocados.

And I said, 'This is for me.'

(laughter)

I've been chewing on avocados
ever since I got here.

INTERVIEWERS: Are you still involved with
showbiz now? Are you doing anything behind the scenes, or-?

Would you like a kiss?

(laughter)

Yeah, I'm still involved in showbusiness.
I tour with a one-man show.

I do movies if you're making them,
and I'm quite viable...

in every sense of the word.

(laughter)

I have four children, and the youngest,
who's now 27, was deemed autistic

at 7 or 8, which is late. He's a
high-functioning autistic.

My lady at the time often said that she
doesn't think he's got autism,

she thinks he has Asnerism.

(laughter)

There was a time when he was riding
with me as a kid,

and I already had some fame, and a cop
pulled me over.

I did a wrong turn or something,
and a cop pulled me over.

And as the cop came up to the window to
write the ticket, Charlie leaned over towards

the window and he said, 'Do you know who
you're talking to?'

I went SHHHHHH

And that's one of the main efforts we
have. To get law enforcement to

understand there are these types of
people, that they cannot exercise ordinary

tough cop bullshit. They've got to assess
the situation and respond accordingly.

I've often said that the world would be a
happier place if it was run by autistics.

And it may well be.

INTERVIEWERS: So you've had an incredible
career, anything that you've done in-

Only the beginning of it. I'm not heralded
in every hallway in the world.

I still have to be discovered by a lot of
people.

INTERVIEWERS: Have you ever done standup?

No. I can't even do good sit down.

(laughter)

I'm with ABILITY Magazine (burps),
lots of sexy picture of

Mary without anything like me around her.

(laughter)

Okay, enough?

INTERVIEWERS: That's it.

How long you gonna fuss around?