[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(music)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What prompted you to come see me?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,INTERVIEWERS: Great question.\NWe would ask you that!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,INTERVIEWERS: Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How so? What do you mean?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't invite you. What would I\Nwant you in my house for?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,INTERVIEWERS: We were going to ask you,\N'Why are we here?'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have no idea. Get out!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I came to Hollywood in '61. We\Nfound an apartment on an estate in the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hollywood Hills, and rented it. The second\Nnight we're there, we hear a rustling outside.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she went, peeked through the blinds\Nof the window, and there was a large avocado
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tree growing right up next to the\Napartment, and she beckoned me over.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked down, and there were two raccoons,\Nsitting on their back, chewing on avocados.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said, 'This is for me.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been chewing on avocados\Never since I got here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,INTERVIEWERS: Are you still involved with showbiz\Nnow? Are you doing anything behind the scenes, or-?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would you like a kiss?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I'm still involved in showbusiness.\NI tour with a one-man show.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do movies if you're making them,\Nand I'm quite viable...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in every sense of the word.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have four children, and the youngest,\Nwho's now 27, was deemed autistic
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at 7 or 8, which is late. He's a\Nhigh-functioning autistic.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My lady at the time often said that she\Ndoesn't think he's got autism,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she thinks he has asthmarism.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a time when he was riding\Nwith me as a kid,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I already had some fame, and a cop\Npulled me over.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did a wrong turn or something,\Nand a cop pulled me over.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as the cop came up to the window to\Nwrite the ticket, Charlie leaned over towards
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the window and he said, 'Do you know who\Nyou're talking to?'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went SHHHHHH
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's one of the main efforts we\Nhave. To get law enforcement to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,understand there are these types of\Npeople, that they cannot exercise ordinary
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tough cop bullshit. They've got to assess\Nthe situation and respond accordingly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've often said that the world would be a\Nhappier place if it was run by autistics.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it may well be.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,INTERVIEWERS: So you've had an incredible\Ncareer, anything that you've done-
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only the beginning of it. I'm not heralded\Nin every hallway in the world.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I still have to be discovered by a lot of\Npeople.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,INTERVIEWERS: Have you ever done standup?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No. I can't even do good sit down.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm with ABILITY Magazine (burps),\Nlots of sexy picture of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mary without anything like me around her.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, enough?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,INTERVIEWERS: That's it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How long you gonna fuss around?