The power of "no" and money | Nathalia Arcuri | TEDxDanteAlighieriSchool

In this TEDx talk, Nathalia Arcuri talks about the secrets behind the minds of people in debt and also gives some practical tips for anyone to achieve a balanced financial life.

Nathalia Arcuri is an entrepreneur, journalist, educator, financial coach, specialist in personal finance and economic psychology, and a translator of economy jargon. Nathalia Arcuri was only 8 years old when she proposed herself her first big financial challenge: to buy a car at age 18. Focus, discipline, and entrepreneurship are words and qualities that from an early age have become part of her daily life.

Ten years after her first great achievement, her knowledge, acquired in an experiential way, was multiplied by hundreds of hours of study. Nathalia specialized in financial education and personal financial planning. She won the IBCPF top prize for financial planning in 2014. She majored in financial coaching and economic psychology studies. In 2013, she created the blog and channel "Me Poupe!," which presents entertainment and personal finances, transmitting with humor and didactics the most relevant tips for the financial life of all Brazilians.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Good morning.

Well, I want to share, first of all,

what my reaction was

when I was invited to participate
at TEDxDanteAlighieriSchool.

I recorded this moment to show you

what it felt like

when I received this invitation -

and it was, more or less, like this.

(Laughter)

I went nuts!

I said, "My god! What proportions
has this business taken?"

Soon, as our friend said - the monkey,
I don't know why the monkey appeared -

and I said,

"No, Nathalia, think well, breathe deep,
and let's make this happen."

How can we change
the financial lives of 300 people,

or of 7 billion people
through TEDx, in 15 minutes?

I thought hard and came to the conclusion
that in five seconds my life had changed,

so why not change the lives
of so many people in 15 minutes?

And then, I thought of a word,
a tiny little word with just two letters

that can change anyone's life.

Many people think that this word
has a negative connotation,

but I believe it's the opposite.

This word is "no."

Lately, the word "no"
has been kind of forgotten, right?

I've noticed that many parents
have difficulty using the word "no,"

and I don't understand why.

So, I came here today to tell you
how "no" changed my life,

how "no" brought me here today,
and about the transforming power of "no."

Folks, the hashtag is #nãoépoder.

After you leave here,
use this on your social networks.

All this started about -

It takes a little time, not too much.

I'm still young, very young.
You can see that, right?

And all this started when I had this hair.

(Laughter)

At that time -

My parents were never rich,

and they never had
a basic financial education.

In schools, there's always
a little group that's like,

"Oh, that's the rich girl,
that one is this, that's that."

And there was a rich girl in my group.

One day, the rich little girl
came to us and said,

"My father opened
a savings account to buy me a car

when I turn 18."

The photo shows my age
when I heard this.

That hit my brain
with an overpowering effect.

I always was a little
"Fantastic World of Bob", you know,

so, at that exact moment,
I imagined myself,

with my wild hair, in my convertible,

racing around the streets of São Paulo.

How could my hair handle such wind?

But I imagined myself, very free,
with this car at the age of 18.

I went home and sat at the table
with my parents,

and I asked them a fateful question.

"Do I have a savings account?"

Today, I keep imagining
my father at that time,

in front of me, knowing
the answer that would follow,

which, as you must imagine, was,

"No!"

(Laughter)

Obviously, no.

My parents.

(Laughter)

No, I didn't have a savings account.

In that moment, I began to think.

I didn't have a savings account,
and also didn't have an allowance,

and I wanted to buy that car.

At the end of the day,
this wasn't only a financial matter,

a matter of money.

That car meant freedom.

It was like the ultimate achievement
of success at age 18,

and I would have my car;
it would be incredible,

and, my, how could I do this?

This car was the consumer's dream
at the time, people.

(Laughter)

It was my consumer's dream:

it was red and it was incredible,
despite not being a convertible.

I said, "Well, I don't have the money."

I'd already figured out
that a savings account meant money,

and, once in a while,
I would earn two reals for a snack

because my father wouldn't just give me
two reals, and it was only sometimes.

I said, "Well, two reals."

I never thought of money like that,
like a two-real note.

I imagined two reals or ten reals
or whatever amount

like it was a piece of my car.

So already in my childhood,
it started a dilemma:

"Two reals or a greasy rissole
at Tião's cafeteria?"

Luckily, I thought more about my car

because if I had eaten Tião's greasy food,

perhaps I would have a clogged artery
by the time I was 31.

Luckily, the car spoke louder in my head.

So I became a little piggy bank.

With each two reals,

very early on, I started to have
a projection mindset,

making accounts - how much I was going
to have in one year, in two years, etc.

Because at the end of the day, I realized
that what I had the most of was time,

and that time related to money,
and although it seemed to be not much,

over time, it would turn into a fortune.

Later, I spent weekends,

when I was a little bigger
and such, sassy,

getting to know what a newspaper was
and what the classified ads were.

Then I started to think
about which car I was going to buy

if I kept my discipline
of saving money little by little.

And then, I discovered
that I could buy a Buggy!

I was going to have my convertible! Yes!

(Laughter)

At that time, my hair
was a little straighter.

I learned to straighten my hair myself

because, after all,

when you go to the hairdresser,
what do you spend?

Money.

Actually, this was the first big
investment I was able to make.

I convinced my father -
I didn't have my car -

but I convinced my father
to buy a brush and a hair dryer,

and in this way, I hit the jackpot,

"Each time that I blow dry
my hair, you give me ten reals

because it saves you 30 reals
in the beauty parlor."

Guys, learn this:
OPM, "Other People's Money."

(Laughter)

That simple.

Anyway, I discovered
that my "no" meant my car

because, different from the stories
that many people tell,

"I did this and that," and finally,
"Did you make it?"- no.

I don't have this sad story to tell

because that "no" meant sufficient money

to buy my car when I was 18.

It turns out I didn't need to buy the car.

I was a girl - seriously, great, huh? -

and what parents wouldn't want
to have a daughter like this?

I saved money, lent money
when needed, and such.

When I was 18,

I discovered my godmother
had taken a line of credit for me

with a consortium.

My godmother, for some reason
I still don't understand,

is addicted to consortia.

She did the consortium when I was 10

and received the credit when I was 18,
so it was really a matter of luck.

I bought my car - no electric windows,

no electric locks, no rear wiper,

no rear defroster,

no radio - but it was my car.

With the money I had saved all that time,

I made my first investment

and I never stopped.

From the moment that I started working -

I started to work very early

and worked a long time
as a TV reporter -

I realized that I had
a great ability to save my money

and to do the things
that were important to me.

I always had very clear future goals

and never stopped living in the present.

As time went by,

I started to feel a little
like an extraterrestrial, you know?

People looked at me in a strange way like,

"What?

You bought your apartment with cash,
at 24, without robbing someone?

Without asking your father?

How can this be?"

They thought that I was very bizarre,

that there was something
strange in my story.

I started to feel like the odd one out,

all alone, like I feel on this stage.

That started to bother me a lot
because I thought,

"People, why?

Why do people, even knowing
that they must spend less than they earn,

continue to make these absurd errors

and stop having the most important things,

in order to have unimportant things?"

I reached this conclusion
when I hired my cleaning lady -

I was 24 and needed someone
to clean my house -

and one day she told me, "Nathalia,
look, it's very hard to pay the bills."

I said, "But why?"

"I just bought a pair of sneakers
for my daughter and paid 700 reals."

I used to pay her 600 reals.

I said, "What makes a person
spend more than their own salary

on one item?"

Anyway, I went in search of answers,
and guess what I discovered?

I'm going to say three, two, one,
and when I say three, two, one,

you say, "Óóóóóó!"

(Laughter)

Ready? All together ...

Three, two, one.

(Audience) "Óóóóóó!"

Nathalia Arcuri: Okay, very good.

It was a cathartic moment

because I looked for these answers
in economic psychology,

and everything has
an explanation inside our brain.

What is this explanation?

It's like this: our brain likes
everything to be immediate -

whatever is now or gives pleasure now.

"I love this."

"I like simple things,
that don't make me think too much,

and preferably are happening now."

And something that grabs us,

mainly related to money:

human beings like having
the illusion that everything is good.

"Look there, the tsunami is coming!

When it gets here,
it will only be a little wave,

nothing will happen, it'll all be fine."

Then the tsunami comes,
catches you, and you die.

This is how it happens.

With financial life, it's the same thing.

What don't human beings like?

Making decisions.

"Imagine: a piece of candy now
or three in the future,

give it to me here and now,

forget the future, come on ... "

We don't like to think in the long term;

this really confuses our brains.

We also don't like to not have,
and, mainly, to not belong.

Have you ever heard about herd mentality?

When the lead ox goes,
everybody goes, and I don't know what -

We all like to follow the same path,

even if the destination is a cliff.

Why?

I don't know, the brain explains.

Freud explained it all;
it's all explained.

OK, I investigated the human mind,
as such, and discovered all this.

Great, but what do I do
with this information?

What's the use of knowing
how brain mechanisms work?

Is there any way to change this?

And then I went after
all these other answers!

And guess what!

I discovered the secret formula
for us to make a key change:

Throw away everything
that was put in our heads

between zero and 12 years of age -

that's when we form all our beliefs
and all our culture related to money.

Do you want to know how we change it all?

Yes?

(Audience) Yes!

NA: That's good. Well this is it.

The following:

This is the key to success.

"What are you doing, Nathalia,
playing darts all day?" It's not this.

I discovered that what made me
so different from the people around me

was my very precocious
ability to have goals,

to have targets, to have clear objectives,

and, more than this,

my inner strength, which we all have,

and that I call the power
of "T," which is "L" in English.

This isn't a common "L", folks.

As you can see, it's a big letter "L"
which stands for "lust."

When I say "lust," it has nothing to do
with its sexual connotation.

Lust is what moves you,
what makes you get out of bed,

and what keeps you
from procrastinating day after day.

If you have goals, but don't have passion
for what you are doing,

if you don't have enough desire,
you won't go forward, and it won't work.

This is the great success formula.

All this can be resolved for us
with this simple little diagram.

When you have goals, you know
what your purposes are in life.

When you have purposes,
your objectives are clearer.

You have the ability
to see your priorities,

what's really important for you.

When you know what really matters to you,

you spend less time and money
on things that are unimportant.

People, it is so simple,
and it's so easy to get rich, people.

What happens when you discover this

and spend less time and less money
on what isn't important

is that there's leftover money.

And if you know how to invest
and care for it, you get rich.

It's as simple as that.

Well, having said all that,

almost 20 years passed from my first "no,"

to my second big "no."

I was a reporter for Rede Record,
and I'd fulfilled my big dream

because I'd had the goal of being
a show host and such.

I thought,

"Gee, people need to know

everything I found out studying
so passionately, with so much lust.

I need to change people's lives."

I went to see my boss,
pretty and wonderful, and said,

"Boss, here's the deal,
we're going to change people's lives.

Let's use this box
called television to do this,

and let's do a reality show where I -

clearly very good
at changing people's lives -

teach people how to get rich.

I'll take desperate indebted people,
and change them into savers

in four weeks."

He said, "Wow. Incredible. Write
this down. Nathalia, you're a genius."

Cool, it was there, everything on paper.

Two weeks went by and guess what happened?

The second big "no" of my life.

This "no" wasn't this size;
it was this size.

It was a humongous "no"

because not only did he say,
"No, Nathalia, we're not doing this,"

he said, "No, Nathalia
you're not doing it;

someone else is doing your idea
because it's very good."

Right then, with that "no" facing me -

and here's the power of "no,"
"no" is revolutionary -

I said, "Great, wonderful,
let's look for my 'yes.'"

It was then that I created
a blog called "Me Poupe,"

where the idea was to use entertainment
and humor to transform people's lives

in a way that they wouldn't even
realize that were learning,

kind of like brainwashing.

Don't tell anyone about this, OK?

The blog started having some success

because in the finance area
it's very difficult

to break down paradigms in a simple way.

Last year, I created a YouTube channel
where I used all my knowledge,

coupled with my incredible speaking
technique in front of a camera.

Then the channel started
to have a certain relevancy.

Last year in December,

I received an offer
to be sponsored by a big company,

and so I quit Rede Record
in order to follow my dream,

which is to transform people's lives
through financial entertainment.

And that's what came out
of all this and of that "no,"

which I'd like to show you now:

(Video) NA: Today I have three basic tips
for you to enjoy life and save.

You don't need to give up
your life to save money.

This is a myth of lazy people

who don't want to work hard
to be able to save money and enjoy life.

The first thing you must do
to be able to enjoy life and save

is to know what is important to you.

Young person: For me, a car is important,
football is important, beer is important,

my "brothers" are important,

it's all important, it won't work ...

NA: Are you kidding me?

Young person: Girl,
it won't work. Forget about it.

NA: This is the kind of thing I hear.

(On Stage) NA: So, I'd like to end
this presentation with a question

for you to think about today:

by which "no" are you going to live today?

Think about it.

Thank you.

(Applause)