Hi guys. How are you all doing?
I literally just flew from Muscat to be here for you guys today.
Thank you for having me.
(Applause) (Cheers)
So I want to start off by asking you all a question.
Do you guys have a hard time being true to yourself?
Think about that for a minute, and we will revisit this.
So over the years, I've had a very hard time being myself.
To answer the question myself, it would be a big "yes."
Because first of all, I'm not your conventional Muslim woman.
Second of all, growing up, I didn't go through anything that was conventional.
I came from a divorced family,
multicultural,
lived in a different country than I was born in.
So all of these aspects set me apart from the groups that I would usually see.
My name is Layla Al Siyabi,
and today, I would like to talk to you guys about being beyond labels.
Let me take you guys back to where I really felt very vulnerable
and very afraid of being myself.
It was the time when I first gave birth to my first-born child.
I was twenty years old, and we had other plans - me and my husband.
We said we'd travel together,
we'd do things together before we really settled down with a kid,
but that was not the case.
So we had this baby, and the first time I looked at her -
I know what they say, you feel this ecstatic feeling
when you look at your child, and you feel overwhelmed,
and they show you in movies - it's like a dream come true,
but it was nothing like that for me.
It was nothing like that for me when I looked at her.
(Applause)
There I was, a 20-year-old, young woman
looking down at this baby, looking up at me crying,
and I was like, "What did I just get myself into?
Am I going to be a good mother?
How am I going to balance out, you know, having a -
am I even going to have a career?
Forget finishing my education."
I had all these dreams for myself, which I felt like they were crumbling
because I just had this card dealt in my life that I had no clue of.
So a couple of months went by, I settled into being a mom,
with the help of my family, of course, and my husband.
I was still searching for answers; I was still looking around.
I was still thinking, "Okay, I need to get my education done
while I have this baby at home."
Of course, I didn't go the conventional way
and go to university with my friends.
They were having so much fun - I would see it on Facebook -
and I would be like, "Oh my God, are you serious?
You went partying here, and then you went traveling there?"
And there I was, at home with a baby, and I was feeling terrible,
and I didn't know who I was.
I didn't know at all, if I'm still the Layla that I was before my twenties,
or what is happening to me right now.
So it took me a while to figure out all these questions I had.
But one day I just stopped scrolling through Facebook,
which is so bad for your health when you're going through things,
and you're looking at other people and other people's timelines.
I said, "I'm not going to do this to myself.
I'm going to stop asking myself all these questions,
and start doing things before it's too late."
So I went on to get my business and marketing degree, with a baby,
which was really, really hard.
I stayed awake at night, doing my work,
my essays, while in the morning,
I had to wake up with a baby as my alarm clock.
Four years went on, I got my BBA,
and then I finally decided that I should look into doing other things
because the corporate world wasn't really fitting
into my picture with the mom life,
and I wasn't really keeping up with all the timings,
and I had a hard time finding a maid.
So I was like, "I'm just going to try to do things my way
because I've been doing that for the past four years of my life,
and it has been working out great."
So I decided I'm going to try out my love for photography.
I'm going to touch base with makeup because I loved doing all of these things
before I had the baby, so let's get back into the game.
And then finally, I decided to come across fashion,
where I did some courses on fashion design.
And then I went on ahead and started styling people,
my friends, my cousins.
And people liked it, the women loved it,
because I wasn't dressing the conventional women or the models.
I was dressing everyday women that are like me.
We're not a size zero, we're not tall, we're not blond,
and we're just everyday women with a job, and it was going pretty well.
So I said, "You know what, it's about time I take it to the next level."
And I looked into opening my own styling studio,
but things weren't looking very great with having a baby
and still no proper help, and being here with no extended family.
So I decided I'm going to do something from home.
So I started doing things from home, which worked out in my favor
because most of my friends would be comfortable coming over,
and I would start styling them.
Couple of years went on, and I started feeling pressured
in the fashion industry.
I looked around.
Even though this is in Doha, but we have like a lot of cattiness
going on in the fashion industry - it's just like anywhere else.
I looked around and I felt completely odd.
I felt different, and I said, "You know what?"
And there was always a competition between the people and the models,
and they always want to push people off, even as an adult.
They want to push people off that are different,
so that the more -
the more generic version of the industry can go on.
So that is when I looked deep into myself, and I said, "I'm not going to take this,
I'm going to put myself on a broader platform
where I can connect with women just like myself.
I'm pretty sure that there are many women like myself that I can reach out to."
So I decided to put myself online.
And that is when I started my platform "BeingLayla_A."
It is completely about being true to myself
and talking about fashion, beauty, lifestyle,
along with the realness that comes with being a mom
and being an entrepreneur.
It's not all happy, golden days.
There are days that I'm terribly off of plan.
Like today, I missed my flight because my son, in the morning,
had a really bad tummy ache, and he was vomiting, and I said,
"You know what, I can't go like this without knowing he's going to be okay."
So I had to push my flight, and then come here,
and I informed them that I cannot go on for the first bit.
So you see, I kept customizing my life until I'm here today.
And of course, along the way, I realized my daughter was the best thing
that ever happened to me because she made me see life -
(Applause)
She made me see life in a completely different way.
She gave me a second chance to finding this Layla in front of you today.
If I denied myself the right to feel vulnerable, feel pressured,
or to ask those questions, then I wouldn't be here in front of you today.
My advice to anyone that feels like they're out-of-the-box,
I would say, being yourself doesn't mean you can just do one thing.
It means being different, and sticking to the decisions you make.
If you're on a journey on finding yourself,
let me just tell you it's not going to happen overnight,
it's not going to happen maybe even in a year,
but the key is - major key alert:
the key is to stay true to yourself and stick to those decisions
because eventually,
you're going to practice, and you're going to make it through,
and you're going to have a habit of not giving a damn
about what people say in the process.
(Applause)
I'm sorry I forgot to change my slides.
I think I'm not going to go with the slides now.
So the other thing about finding yourself in this world
is also the fact that you always have to have a vision for yourself,
set goals for yourself, and stick to them.
Don't let anything or anyone push you aside.
You can always fall off the wagon, but then you can always get back on
because there are circumstances that you cannot -
that's beyond your control.
There are higher powers out there, so you better be aware of that.
Just always make plan A, B, C, D, E, F, go up until Z, if you have to,
and that's going to help you through your journey.
And some of the questions that I asked myself when I got started
was, "Am I being true to myself?"
Being yourself doesn't mean that -
Everybody hears the term, "be yourself," these days,
but what does it really mean to be yourself in this day and age.
I don't think there is one way to do it.
And also, the way to look at it is to say, "being true to yourself,"
because each time you go through this journey,
you're just going to be put against decisions
that are going to be -
either you're comfortable with or uncomfortable with.
If you decide to take the comfortable bits,
then know that it's not going to be easy.
You're going to feel vulnerable, you're going to feel out-of-the-box,
you're going to feel like people just don't get you.
And that's okay because at the end of the day,
the price you pay is nothing compared to what you gained.
And lastly, I would like to leave you with the questions that I asked myself
when I got started:
"What am I doing to contribute to myself, the world around me?"
"Am I being true to myself, genuinely because of my happiness,
or is it to please others?"
"Am I living my life to the full potential for myself and my family,
or is it for others?"
These are some of the questions that I asked when I got started,
and I would love for you guys to get started.
It's important that you get started as soon as possible.
Do not doubt yourself, do not wait around for the right time.
There are always going to be haters.
It comes with a big load where people don't understand you.
They just don't get what you're doing.
Some people are going to be against what you do, against what you say,
but that doesn't mean you stop because of them.
You keep on going.
You build yourself up as you go along, and you become brave.
So that's about it.
Thank you so much.
(Applause) (Cheers)