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← Jay's Vlog from A Series Of Unfortunate People, Ep. #4

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Showing Revision 2 created 05/03/2011 by joesackett.

  1. It’s just drama time.
  2. Yeah, there’s just a lot of interventions.
  3. (Really? What kind of interventions?)
  4. My sister is, uh, addicted to gambling.
  5. We recommended a facility to her, and she said
  6. “Well, what are the odds of me getting cured?”
  7. And we said, “Well, probably about 50-50.”
  8. And she said, “You wanna put some money on it?”
  9. And I did.
  10. I just wanted...you know, it’s 50-50.
  11. It’s a good shot.
  12. And then I realized, “Oh my G-d, I’m not helping her.”
  13. And then, oh, my friend Steve.
  14. He’s a hoarder.
  15. (Oh?)
  16. Yeah, yeah. He’s a hoarder.
  17. So, uh...I mean, this guy sleeps in the doghouse.
  18. I mean, like, literally.
  19. He sleeps in a doghouse.
  20. His doghouse is inside of a tool shed
  21. that’s inside of his apartment.
  22. So, it’s kind of like those Russian dolls.
  23. He hoards homes.
  24. A bunch of us intervened.
  25. I don’t think it’s gonna work
  26. but I did come out with a fax machine.
  27. Which is nice.
  28. He has like 40 of ‘em, so I, uh...
  29. I needed one.
  30. And then there’s my mother.
  31. Uh, she is, uh...
  32. she collects STDs.
  33. Yeah, she’s...she’s...
  34. she’s a ho.
  35. And that’s kind of...I guess she hoards.
  36. She whores.
  37. She’s a ho.
  38. But she’s 70, and she said, um, you know
  39. “What difference does it make?”
  40. Um, you know
  41. “I’m nearing the end."
  42. "Just let me sleep with everybody on Craigslist.”
  43. And we were like, “Well, you got a point.”
  44. So, it’s been a rough week.
  45. I mean, a bunch of failed interventions.
  46. Our short webseries tells these stories.
  47. Real stories.
  48. You married the whiny bitch.
  49. Well, we made them up
  50. but they’ll remind you of folks you know.
  51. Speaking of horse c*ck
  52. This seriously hurts my titties.
  53. Mine too!
  54. She has a condition.
  55. She does.
  56. It’s so wet!
  57. A Series of Unfortunate People
  58. We’re gonna need back up.
  59. The walls are closing in on me!
  60. Now.