The Incredulity of Jacolby Satterwhite | Art21 "New York Close Up"

[SOUND OF DIAL-UP DATA MODEM]

[THEME MUSIC FROM "FINAL FANTASY" PLAYS]

[JACOLBY SATTERWHITE]
When you have cancer, you're supposed to die.

With modern technology,
you're basically being resurrected.

When I was a kid, I had cancer.

When I was in the hospital,
I played "Final Fantasy".

Those were my escapisms during
such a deep period of trauma.

I can see that being my natural lexicon
as a creator.

Maybe I've been skeptical of my own
mortality my whole life.

I've been making things
to make myself

witness these objects
and say that I'm still here.

[AUDIO RECORDING OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
--Moments of silence.

So I originally went to Pioneer Works
as a technology resident,

to 3D print my mother's drawings
of consumer objects.

My mother's practice is like
a gesso or a primer.

It's basically the foundation
for where I begin all ideas

and how I perceive these ideas in the present.

[AUDIO RECORDING OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
--I apologize.

[SINGING]
♪ I apologize for what I put you through... ♪

[SATTERWHITE]
She made 150 a cappellas

that were kind of mimicking the traditional
standard for Top 40 hits.

The songwriting was a big component.

It was something she would do
in a mental hospital.

It was something she would do at home.

[SINGING CONTINUES]
♪ My life was crazy when I didn't understand... ♪

[SATTERWHITE]
Nick Weiss from Teengirl Fantasy,

he and I spent around two years turning these
raw a cappellas into an electronic dance record.

Simultaneously, I was also
making visuals for it,

because I wanted to make
a virtual reality album.

I'm a Millenial with an addiction to
Instagram and iPhone.

I lean into it, use it as material,

and try to make it tactile and poignant,

and make it feel like skin.

It's really loose and not premeditated.

In a way, it's like finding
really beautiful compositions with data language.

The exhibit at Pioneer Works is
embodying my work through different mediums,

including sculpture, video,

performance, and 3D animation.

I was exploring how to make
a sculpture world out of digital space.

There are four cabinets that
explore different themes

that I have unmasked over the years:

Sports,

American dream paraphernalia,

money,

and pharmaceuticals.

And so basically, it's just an abstract reaction
to that culture.

--It makes me feel like a video game character.

--Like you could just play me and I walk around,

--like a third-person Lara Croft shooter or
something.

--Oh my god, this is annoying.

If you're doing everything by yourself,

you don't know what it potentially can be.

The potential of big ideas being
delegated to a team

that manifests something much greater
than the individual hand.

Coming here a lot and talking to the builders,

curating the puzzle pieces
that were on the floor,

it's pushed me over the edge sometimes.

It involved a lot of self reflection
and self discovery,

and a lot of self discipline.

Working with the people here
made me step up my game a little bit more.

I've never been more excited about what new
potential forms I can crack through.

[MAN]
--You're talking talking about the
original renderings, right?

[SATTERWHITE]
--Yeah.

--Oh, it is the right color.

In the past ten years of my career,

I've just been making things very open-endedly,

using palettes from everywhere.

I've been drawing the Doubting Thomas composition
using myself as all the figures

since I was in high school,

which basically narrates the story of
Jesus's resurrection

and skepticism around his mortality.

The ultimate metaphor about the piece is
using ritual as a way to ground you.

Like touching something that
you're skeptical about

to ground you that it's real.

So making art, for me, is just a way
to ground me,

that I'm real.

[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
♪ Tell me how could it be, ♪

♪ I don't know whatever. ♪

♪ How did I get here in this place? ♪

♪ Tell me how could it be, ♪

♪ I don't know whatever. ♪

♪ How did I end up in this way? ♪

[SATTERWHITE]
Having a public practice that

circulates in galleries and museums

is vulnerable because you're
publicly archiving yourself

in ways that you may not feel
are flattering in the future.

It's a masochistic performance gesture,
to say the least.

Successfully creating is the art of
being willing to embarrass yourself.

I took that to heart.

God, I was just being embarrassing for a decade!

[LAUGHS]

[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
♪

My mother's death three years ago
had a huge impact on me.

It really brought in the act of
ritual a lot more,

and made me focus on themes of
regeneration, healing, and resurrection.

Art became a form of escapism

for me to reroute my personal traumas.

And now I think I'm trying to pursue something
more...

...present.
More mindful.

Trying to search for where
home is for me now.

Trying to get to the core of who I am.

[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
♪ We will go on ♪

♪ to another place in time. ♪