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← [TRANSLATED] Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers. Epic Rap Battles of History. [CC]

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Showing Revision 2 created 11/11/2015 by Ryan Moulton.

  1. I'm coming off the Acropolis
  2. to start some pandemonium
  3. don't bring limp raps
  4. to a pimp slap symposium
  5. the mad gadfly
  6. philosophy was my invention
  7. rolling with the flyest nihilist
  8. and me their French henchman
  9. we've got the wisdom
  10. and the wit
  11. that even I couldn't question
  12. dropping Western medicine
  13. on these East infections
  14. it's evident
  15. you've never been
  16. our type of mental brethren
  17. we're better thinkers
  18. better speakers
  19. better lovers
  20. better men
  21. This type of arrogance
  22. is sure to be expected
  23. from men who speak of wisdom
  24. with no clue of what respect is
  25. you Westerners are sloppy
  26. needing discipline in life
  27. you lack control of yourselves
  28. and of the mic
  29. while we use precise strikes
  30. to disrupt your concentration
  31. hand you an ass whipping
  32. our descendants
  33. will honor for generations
  34. we filled a nation
  35. with patience
  36. and the presence
  37. for living
  38. and you'll never hold a candle
  39. to the wisdom
  40. we've
  41. written
  42. Oh, I'll give you something
  43. you can bow and kowtow to
  44. when I squat down and squeeze out
  45. a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu
  46. you need to take control
  47. of the life you're given
  48. they call me Ubermensch
  49. cause I'm so driven
  50. and I'm a free thinker
  51. so confronting conformists like you
  52. it's my job
  53. got a sharp wit like a spit
  54. that'll skewer you
  55. like a Confu-shish kebab
  56. you flubbed the mission
  57. I'm beating your submissive ass
  58. into submission
  59. dishing out more disses
  60. than letters and pamphlets and plays
  61. I've been publishing
  62. now that we've covered the two
  63. Yin and Yang twins
  64. I can move on to Jackie Chan
  65. Sun Tzu I'll be picking apart your Wu
  66. with my method, man
  67. the seminal general
  68. isn't so tough on the mic
  69. all your men must be like
  70. yo what happened?
  71. you're pitiful lyrically
  72. lucky for history
  73. you didn't author The Art of Rapping
  74. Bitch I wrote the Art of War
  75. so you better get your guns out
  76. these white boys getting burned
  77. cause guess what
  78. now the Sun's out
  79. Asians spitting sick
  80. but no this isn't SARS
  81. Laozi kick the beat
  82. now Confucius drop some bars
  83. let me be Candide with you Voltaire
  84. French drip with the egg noodle hair
  85. your ego's just so distracting
  86. free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping
  87. and you killed God so I gotta ask
  88. did he die of shame
  89. when he made your mustache?
  90. you tried to plant a new German psyche
  91. but you just grew hate
  92. me no Third Reichy
  93. and it all starts with you
  94. you're the father Socrates
  95. honestly I think you owe
  96. both of your students here an apology
  97. I wouldn't exactly call myself
  98. a student of this plebe
  99. don't make Nietzsche come over
  100. and put a knee up in your chi
  101. cause I'm
  102. N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E
  103. and I'll end any mother fucker
  104. like my name in a spelling bee
  105. plebe bitch?
  106. I'm toxic like a hemlock sip
  107. hang a sandal on the door
  108. cause you can suck Soc's dick
  109. sacré bleu Socrates
  110. you're making things a little tense
  111. come let's blind these Chinese heinies
  112. with some shiny bright enlightenment
  113. I'll not be taught camaraderie
  114. from a frog who rigged the lottery
  115. you make a mockery of ethics
  116. so keep your fat nose in your coffee
  117. let me be frank
  118. don't start beef with the Frank
  119. who hangs with B. Franks
  120. giving ladies beef franks
  121. I have turned them on themselves
  122. their chaos is our opportunity
  123. we must remember
  124. a bowl is most useful when it is empty
  125. Laozi I don't mean no disrespect
  126. but you need to fill your bowl
  127. with some shit that makes some sense
  128. oh you don't wanna stand
  129. in the path of Lao Tzu today
  130. I'll make you move bitch
  131. get out the way
  132. yo, where in the tradition
  133. of rap battles is it written
  134. that two dudes on the same team
  135. should squabble
  136. like some clucking chickens
  137. man Confucius
  138. you always try to put
  139. something in its place
  140. why don't you tell your eyebrows
  141. they need to fit better on your face
  142. okay I see
  143. you wanna make it like that?
  144. I'll smack that warmongering head
  145. out of your to go box hat
  146. so here's the real golden rule
  147. I'm way above you weak rookies
  148. Confucius say
  149. you can all hold these fortune cookies
  150. What is winning?
  151. Who is next?
  152. You decide