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← Parazit 20 August 26 season three

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Showing Revision 5 created 01/30/2012 by bozkuhi.

  1. ...who me? ....who him?
  2. PARAZIT
  3. Go, Get out, Afshin go.... Hello, I'm Kambiz Hosseini, our guest tonight Iraj Gorgin, the former producer
  4. of the 2nd Network, of the former National Iranian TV, and this show of PARAZIT at the level of Iran's
  5. National Team, who announces the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of the week, illuminates the unspoken, and above
  6. all in the next 30 minutes, PARAZIT will tickle the foundations of POWER....People! This is PARAZIT!
  7. An anti-Iran and anti-Iranian show from America the World Eater! For you, you who these days don't have
  8. any patience and for whom, all news is bad news...
  9. PA
  10. PAR
  11. PARA
  12. PARAZ
  13. PARAZIT
  14. In the past week Ayatollah Khamanei said, "The street-presence of any Iranian during the Qods-day holiday
  15. will help the security of the country", but he forgot to clarify which country?This country or his other one!
  16. Apparently he has now defined like 3 or 4 countries, which is allowed in Eslam,
  17. Along with everyone being allowed to say Nothing...
  18. Hey, Russia has failed to deliver Iran's S-300 missiles, so Iran has gotten mixed up and now wants to
  19. complain to an International court, so then Russia's Foreign Ministry said, "We are dismayed by Iran's actions!"
  20. Ha! HA! HA! ...didn't see that coming eh! Oh Surprised one! Oh Moustache! A lifetime now Iran has gotten
  21. into it with everyone, while you sat in the Kremlin scratching and shoveling Iran's rials, now that it's
  22. your turn, Come and Get Your Due! Because here it comes!
  23. But last week, Heydar Moslehi, the Minister of Information said, "The government's performance is A+",
  24. Our own Saman here, regrets Moslehi wasn't his high school math teacher, to give out such good grades
  25. by the kilo. Saman flunked math 8 times, by the way...
  26. The managing director of Tehran's Air Quality control said, "So far this year, Tehranians have not had
  27. one healthy day" we're baffled so we ask, have Tehranians had ANYTHING healthy this year!
  28. Mahmoud Ahmadinajad said, "Elections, Freedom and Justice, is the right of theSyrian people." But he failed
  29. to say why Elections, Freedom and Justice are NOT the right of the Iranian people.
  30. Larijani the head of Iran's Majles (Congress) issued a message congratulating the people of Libya on the collapse of the Libyan dictatorship.
  31. Thank You! Mr. Larijani, Congrats, Love you baby! Hopefully one day we will congratulate you on the collapse
  32. of your dictatorship! Sir, please come again, good bye, see you later...
  33. Shane Bauer, and Josh Fattal for the illegal entry into Iran and spying for America were sentenced to 8 years...
  34. Just like the neighborhood punk who can't beat up the older brother, but as soon as he sees the younger brother on the corner
  35. SMACKS him, of course the SMACKING was in the mountains...
  36. Why don't you catch REAL spies! If you think you're so COOL! Mr. Islamic Republic!
  37. My Grandma could have caught 3 Berkeley students on Sheytan Kooh (mountain) and try and feed them to us as Spies!
  38. And speaking of Kooh (mountain), not a peep on Koohyar Goodarzi who was arrested July 31st...
  39. Meanwhile the killing of the Kurds continues by the Turkish Army and the IRGC...
  40. And...Lake Oroomieh still dry, takes it's last breaths and casts a hopeful eye to the honorable members
  41. of the Majles (Congress) for a glass of water, so it can continue to exist and not turn into...
  42. The Great Salt Desert of Oroomieh...
  43. Oh Man! Oh People! Oh Society! Oh Iranians! Hey, you know when I was a kid if we got into fights at school and beat up the other guy, no problem...
  44. but if we couldn't take on the other guy and didn't want to lose face with Mammad, Hassan, Hossein, Kami, Rami,
  45. Ala and Ata, after the last bell, when the bully would say, "Hey You! I want to talk to you!"
  46. Then everyone would crowd around, we'd take a step forward and start our tough fighting moves...
  47. Then we'd rip open our shirts and say, "Fine! Go ahead, hit me right here in my heart !" and the other guy who was
  48. foaming at the mouth shoved you to the ground and you'd roll around for a while and eventually the crowd would cry,
  49. "No! He beat him unfairly!", just so Mammad, Hassan Hossein, Kami, Rami, Ali, and Ata could see how real cowards fight...
  50. And if that didn't work, well at least we'd won the battle of public opinion, and everyone in school would say,
  51. "No no, he totally hit him unfairly", and so, we would hold our head high, and then we knew the true meaning of Martyrdom,
  52. For playing the Martyr was our honor...
  53. And that strategy then, THEN! We called that, "Playing the Martyr!"
  54. "My final point is on Somalia, which really takes the sleep from your eyes, (sobbing) and you cannot ,
  55. not cry, when you see a black child from Somalia whose tears fall from its eyes, and his eyes say, "I'm
  56. hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm sick, I want medicine", and no one comes to his help, how can anyone sit and sleep comfortably,
  57. Yes, that was Mr. Jennati, as usual the teapot calling the kettle black, first off, the following was recorded entirely in Iran...
  58. "...(sobbing) and you cannot not cry... when you see a black child from Somalia whose tears
  59. fall from its eyes, and it's eyes say, "I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm sick, I want medicine, and no one comes to his help ...
  60. "Oh God, to those who see and do nothing, who know better than we, who pay no attention, and who show indifference,
  61. Oh God, send those to the same Black Dirt..."
  62. Let us return to "Playing the MARTYR" , Saman can you run that so we can see how many seconds Mr. Jennati fakes his martyrdom....
  63. Wow, OK, seriously, I have to say this is a world record in the sport of "Playing the Martyr"!
  64. Now watch how quickly, he forgets his "pain"...
  65. Of course, he does not limit "Playing the Martyr" just to Somalia but...
  66. "God.....(sobbing) it's the holy month of Ramazan...."
  67. And the story of "Playing the Martyr" to manipulate the masses and use them,
  68. only works on prehistoric living things, but really the system is actually working,
  69. and we are generally a society of criers and whiners, and mourners,
  70. and just like in school, when we come up short to the bully, throwing ourselves upon "Playing the Martyr"....
  71. (Sappy love song) "I promise you... behind me, me the traveler, don't cry, don't cry....
  72. dooon't cry.... I love you more than my life.... here now, don't cry, don't cry, doon't cry...
  73. "I carry you with my memories, don't cry, don't cry, dooon't cry...
  74. I want you to see, with smiling lips, tomorrow's morn, don't cry, don't cry, doooon't cry...
  75. "I mean, you can't not cry..."
  76. Soccer Coach- "...who knows why the ball went this way, or went that way..."
  77. I'll return, with a world of love, don't cry, I will return ...
  78. to sing to you.... for you... Again...
  79. "I too, as your old father, my heart is full of you young folks' kindness...
  80. "Who's fault is Persepolis' (soccer team) loss?"
  81. Yes, the right honorable Hojatt-ol-Eslam Mr. Ghera-ati, on the subject of clergy who
  82. sit at the deus of the mosque and offer grief, offered,
  83. "Now, we are the tear gas, we sing sad religious songs, it's OK, because tears have a useful purpose...
  84. ...but laughter has it's purpose too....
  85. "...like why don't they offer the youth a year's supply of humor as Hallal (Blessed)?"
  86. Humor - what?
  87. Hallal articles, in a year you hear like at least 5 humorous stories.
  88. Write them down and fax them, so we can get the youth to join us, make Hallal people laugh!
  89. Because they will gather round us, because people want to laugh....
  90. 5 jokes a year, from priests????
  91. The CLERGY!!!!
  92. CLERGY!!!!!! 5 a year! Send you a Hallal (sanctioned) joke, so let me get this straight what a Hallal joke is
  93. ...like you tell the joke then tie it to a string, then lower it into the Blessing well, like this,
  94. then pull it back up, and it's Hallal???
  95. IS that what you mean?
  96. Hey, you know a guy asked this other guy to tell a salt-less (corny) joke,
  97. so he says, "Cucumber"....
  98. Get it?
  99. Then the otjher guy said, that was too salt-less (too corny), so he replied, "OK, how about pickle!"
  100. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Ghera-ati's World of Wonder!
  101. gimme that cigarette...
  102. Someone who gets angry runs to cigarettes? As the Qoran says, (takes a verse from the Qoran and makes up a rhyme with Cigarettes and Hookah)
  103. and this....
  104. ...some women don't put on make up at home, they look like ugly women from the Naser-o-ddin Shah period (1800s)
  105. Until she wants to go to a wedding, then she becomes Super-Deluxe!
  106. and another Ghera-ati....
  107. The goal is two fold, eternity, or the world, of course I want to give you a mathematical formula...
  108. If you can say one verse, I can say 2 and will take a picture for you, just to prove it...
  109. and one more...
  110. Recently I have created "Drip-Speaking", you know, like Drip-Irrigation?
  111. Drip-Speeches!
  112. And he says....
  113. If I got stung on the nose by an insect and my nose swelled up, I myself would not want to go on TV...
  114. And this one....
  115. Various facial expressions and ridiculous quips.
  116. People think because I plant lettuce, I'm a peasant, but you who plant grass are intellectuals...
  117. I closed the toilet door.... and cried my eyes out...
  118. give this last one a triple spin... I will
  119. 3 steps to marital bliss, 1) try to consummate, if that does not work,
  120. 2) Separate your rooms and bed. Pout. If that does not work, then...
  121. 3) As long as it doesn't get red or bruised or leave a mark,
  122. the man has the right to take a pen or a toothbrush, and strike the hand of his wife.
  123. Saman, what year is it?
  124. I think it is 1390 or 2011 Western...
  125. Mr. Ghera-ati, in 2011 do you actually want to hit a woman's hand with a pen to punish her?
  126. Forget you and your "3 steps"
  127. ...well, maybe sometimes.... if you like that sort of thing....
  128. Take your 3 steps and hit them on your own head.... God please take that pen and stick it in your eye!
  129. Eslam says it's OK to hit your wife????? Where does it say that? Wow! Today of all days, there are lots of women here...
  130. Want me to come and show YOU 3 steps....
  131. What does Eslam say about LIARS....
  132. This week's guest Iraj Gorgin, former manager of the 2nd Network, from the former National Iranian TV...
  133. And one of the hallmark voices of Iranian radio
  134. My first question for Mr. Gorgin is what is your assessment of the media outside Iran, like VOA, BBC, etc.
  135. You're in it, you know the competition among these media to bring news to gain more viewers,
  136. In the past it was not like this.
  137. Government sponsored media, did not care about numbers of viewers.
  138. But now in my opinion, these media operate more like commercial TV.
  139. To say, statistics, how many viewers and listeners, used to determine budgets.
  140. And the measure of success. Managers of these media if they do not show results, lose their jobs, or the show ends, or changes.
  141. This was not this way in the past.
  142. But the way it is today is the way of the world today.
  143. There is such a proliferation of media and the means to connect and deliver.
  144. In the past it was more about HOW we delivered the news and who did it more accurately.
  145. It was not about who got the story first.
  146. So you think we're just after the announcement then?
  147. I just think you should think about what you are saying first.
  148. And what use it has for someone. But I think, as you stated, that's the way it is today.
  149. Following on what and how to say something, as you know the most professional
  150. Farsi language media belongs to the US and UK. VOA and the BBC etc.
  151. And they are known for news and information.
  152. How much do you feel these 2 are doing against your WHAT and HOW standard?
  153. I don't believe these media are executing direct orders from their governments, I think it really depends on the producers and writers.
  154. My experience in the past though, has shown that some announcers or producers may have a "hotter pot than the soup in it" (hidden agenda)
  155. Sometimes to extremes even beyond what the official governmental parties on both sides might want said!
  156. I think that is true, sometimes we become hotter than the soup!
  157. Why do you think that happens? Is it cultural?
  158. Yes, Yes, I think its a cultural trait that comes from working in government journalism.
  159. Our journalism was primarily governmental too.
  160. And this required you to gain the approval and attention of the government.
  161. This became the culture of journalism. To the point that it continues even outside of Iran.
  162. Even with all of the extraordinary freedom they have.
  163. On this same point, of culture, you used to be the head of Iran's National TV
  164. Just the 2nd Network division... - Yes, Network 2,
  165. Did you used to go along as well? Yes, I did.
  166. You see censorship existed. Control existed. And Red lines existed too.
  167. These were of course lighter and far less than what is naturally in place (in Iran) now.
  168. Or even what was common in other countries at that time.
  169. In those days, Turkey was far more controlled than Iran. Today Turkey is much freer.
  170. I used to get invited to Turkey, Pakistan, Egypt, they were far more restricted than Iran.
  171. We were mostly restricted away from the Royal Court, and Religion.
  172. But we had critical shows of the government - of course not like yours, I think you are unique...
  173. ...but programs that criticized government officials and ridiculed them,
  174. We would take cameras and mikes out to the people who would complain about prices of meat, bread, and no one was bothered.
  175. I have to say National TV had far more freedoms than the non-government press.
  176. This was largely a result of a very lenient senior director at the time, who was influential,
  177. and connected and above any censorship, and we were young and took absolute advantage of it.
  178. While avoiding the red lines, although we sometimes crossed it, and got a lot of grief over it,
  179. I brought in some striking/protesting university students once, into a live program,
  180. And they got to say everything they wanted to say. The SAVAK (Secret Police) got real angry, even issuing
  181. an arrest warrant for me, and I had to go to the Prime Minister and explain and so on.
  182. Dear Mr. Gorgin, I have a many more questions for you. Especially your family relationship with Mr. Khosrow Gol-e-Sorkhi
  183. As well as your interview with Ms. Forough Farrokhzad and other questions that we will ask you in the second half of our show
  184. I would like to invite our viewers to for sure, watch the second half off this program
  185. and see this interview, because I think it will be very exciting , especially since,
  186. we did not talk about Mr. Gol-e-Sorkhi much.
  187. Now, according to our show's tradition, you have 1 minute to speak directly to the viewers of PARAZIT
  188. Thank you very much Kambiz.
  189. Something that has recently been on my mind is to talk to Iranians who have recently come from Iran
  190. It appears that under the current conditions of all the pressure on Iranians, a sort of apathy
  191. may cause Iranians to become self absorbed, and focus only on their own personal welfare and business.
  192. And to not care about anyone or help others.
  193. And really a race to step on the heads of others to get ahead.
  194. I have faith in the young generation of Iran. But this could happen to our society.
  195. This is not worth debating, but it needs further examination. And I may be wrong but ask it in the form of a question.
  196. Good
  197. Bad
  198. Ugly (written upside down)
  199. Each week on our FaceBook page you vote for the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of the week.
  200. This week you have voted the People of Libya as the Good...
  201. The people against Ghadafi in Libya, tara dam, tara doom, went and captured Tripoli
  202. And went into the Home of Muammar and as I speak to you now,
  203. the power structure of Libya is gone. Mr Ghadafi who used to call his people mice,
  204. is now God-knows hiding in his own mouse-hole somewhere.
  205. Sooner or later, with a little bit of mouse repellent, out he'll come to be sent off to the trash can
  206. of the world's dictators.
  207. More interesting though, are the recent ads that run on Iranian TV as of late, by Mr. Zarghami
  208. to his Master, that I'm sure you have seen, but I ask you now, just for my sake... watch it just once more...
  209. Please...
  210. The end of dictators
  211. Mohammad Reza Pahlavi - Dictator of Iran
  212. Zein-ol-Abedin Ben Ali - Dictator of Tunisia
  213. Hosni Mubarak - Dictator of Egypt
  214. Ali Abdullah Salah - Dictator of Yemen
  215. Muammar Ghadafi - Dictator of Libya
  216. Hamd-ben Eysi Al-Khalifa - Dictator of Bahrain
  217. and the story continues...
  218. Yes, apparently, they could not show you the "Rest of the Story" but we have
  219. the exclusive censored few seconds cut from the original one here
  220. They've sent it straight from Iran, so here is the "Rest of the Story"
  221. And the story continues...
  222. Seyed Ali Khamenei - The Last Dictator of Iran
  223. Man! We Iranians are happier about Libya than the Libyans! I ...don't know why...
  224. Saman do you know why we are so happy?
  225. Have you seen these pics? Which ones? Here....
  226. Yes, Mr. Khamenei and Mr. Ahmadinejad good friends of Mr. Mouse.... and you chose the people of Libya
  227. ...as the Good of the week.
  228. And the Bad of this week is someone, who cut off the leg of a young teenager out of revenge or whatever,
  229. Please take your kids away, from this next picture, it's really bad,
  230. even though we have the footage, we can't bring ourselves to show it...
  231. The story is this teenager who comes from Boyrahmad got into a fight and shot another kid in the leg. Now he became the victim
  232. of a tribal feud, no court, no warrant, this really sucks, they went got him and cut his leg off....this is neither the Islamic republic, nor
  233. Ahmadinejad, nor Khamenei, this just us taking out our revenge on each other .
  234. Even though we live in an era of the forgiving of the Ameneh Bahrami acid splashing incident,
  235. This is just... I don't know what to say...
  236. BAD
  237. The Bad of the week, anyone who spreads the seeds of violence and spreads a culture of
  238. revenge, specifically these people who used a cleaver to cut off the leg of a teenager
  239. and here's the original article...
  240. "Teen's foot chopped off in city center by cleaver"
  241. And finally this week's Ugly person, as the saying goes, "Put salt on whatever rots...
  242. "Oh for the day when salt rots.."
  243. This figure, Sadegh Larijani, who himself is the senior judge in Iran
  244. and has to be wise and promote wisdom, now comes out to say that in the incidents after the election in 2009,
  245. Only one person was killed. What audacity! What a cover up! Here is the mother of Sohrab Arabi...
  246. "They now say only one has been killed. well, what about those that have been killed?"
  247. "My child, then Ashkan Sohrabi, I don't know... Hassan Alipour, all these kids who have perished."
  248. "Who are these then? I am really ashamed of those who claim to be Eslamic and the head of the judiciary."
  249. This week's Ugly personality: Sadegh Larijani who knows less than
  250. a first year law student from No-Name University.
  251. See, when you're corrupt and you put your brother on the job, this is what you get.
  252. UGLY
  253. This was this week's PARAZIT, I'm Saman Arbabi - I'm Kambiz Hosseini
  254. And I think that the real answer is that we must absolutely howl at the night!
  255. Produced by: Saman Arbabi, Written and Performed by: Kambiz Hosseini
  256. Production Assistants: Kamran Taheri, Afshin Nariman, Cue Cards: Atabak Noroozi
  257. Not Synced
    Music by: Eendo