WEBVTT

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[SOUND OF DIAL-UP DATA MODEM]

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[THEME MUSIC FROM "FINAL FANTASY" PLAYS]

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[JACOLBY SATTERWHITE]
When you have cancer, you're supposed to die.

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With modern technology,
you're basically being resurrected.

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When I was a kid, I had cancer.

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When I was in the hospital,
I played "Final Fantasy".

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Those were my escapisms during
such a deep period of trauma.

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I can see that being my natural lexicon
as a creator.

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Maybe I've been skeptical of my own
mortality my whole life.

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I've been making things
to make myself

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witness these objects
and say that I'm still here.

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[AUDIO RECORDING OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
--Moments of silence.

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So I originally went to Pioneer Works
as a technology resident,

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to 3D print my mother's drawings
of consumer objects.

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My mother's practice is like
a gesso or a primer.

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It's basically the foundation
for where I begin all ideas

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and how I perceive these ideas in the present.

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[AUDIO RECORDING OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
--I apologize.

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[SINGING]
♪ I apologize for what I put you through... ♪

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[SATTERWHITE]
She made 150 a cappellas

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that were kind of mimicking the traditional
standard for Top 40 hits.

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The songwriting was a big component.

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It was something she would do
in a mental hospital.

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It was something she would do at home.

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[SINGING CONTINUES]
♪ My life was crazy when I didn't understand... ♪

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[SATTERWHITE]
Nick Weiss from Teengirl Fantasy,

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he and I spent around two years turning these
raw a cappellas into an electronic dance record.

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Simultaneously, I was also
making visuals for it,

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because I wanted to make
a virtual reality album.

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I'm a Millenial with an addiction to 
Instagram and iPhone.

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I lean into it, use it as material,

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and try to make it tactile and poignant,

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and make it feel like skin.

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It's really loose and not premeditated.

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In a way, it's like finding
really beautiful compositions with data language.

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The exhibit at Pioneer Works is
embodying my work through different mediums,

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including sculpture, video,

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performance, and 3D animation.

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I was exploring how to make
a sculpture world out of digital space.

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There are four cabinets that
explore different themes

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that I have unmasked over the years:

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Sports,

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American dream paraphernalia,

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money,

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and pharmaceuticals.

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And so basically, it's just an abstract reaction
to that culture.

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--It makes me feel like a video game character.

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--Like you could just play me and I walk around,

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--like a third-person Lara Croft shooter or
something.

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--Oh my god, this is annoying.

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If you're doing everything by yourself,

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you don't know what it potentially can be.

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The potential of big ideas being
delegated to a team

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that manifests something much greater
than the individual hand.

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Coming here a lot and talking to the builders,

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curating the puzzle pieces
that were on the floor,

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it's pushed me over the edge sometimes.

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It involved a lot of self reflection
and self discovery,

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and a lot of self discipline.

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Working with the people here
made me step up my game a little bit more.

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I've never been more excited about what new
potential forms I can crack through.

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[MAN]
--You're talking talking about the
original renderings, right?

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[SATTERWHITE]
--Yeah.

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--Oh, it is the right color.

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In the past ten years of my career,

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I've just been making things very open-endedly,

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using palettes from everywhere.

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I've been drawing the Doubting Thomas composition
using myself as all the figures

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since I was in high school,

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which basically narrates the story of 
Jesus's resurrection

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and skepticism around his mortality.

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The ultimate metaphor about the piece is
using ritual as a way to ground you.

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Like touching something that
you're skeptical about

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to ground you that it's real.

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So making art, for me, is just a way
to ground me,

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that I'm real.

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[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
♪ Tell me how could it be, ♪

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♪ I don't know whatever. ♪

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♪ How did I get here in this place? ♪

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♪ Tell me how could it be, ♪

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♪ I don't know whatever. ♪

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♪ How did I end up in this way? ♪

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[SATTERWHITE]
Having a public practice that

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circulates in galleries and museums

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is vulnerable because you're
publicly archiving yourself

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in ways that you may not feel
are flattering in the future.

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It's a masochistic performance gesture,
to say the least.

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Successfully creating is the art of
being willing to embarrass yourself.

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I took that to heart.

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God, I was just being embarrassing for a decade!

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[LAUGHS]

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[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
♪

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My mother's death three years ago
had a huge impact on me.

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It really brought in the act of
ritual a lot more,

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and made me focus on themes of
regeneration, healing, and resurrection.

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Art became a form of escapism

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for me to reroute my personal traumas.

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And now I think I'm trying to pursue something
more...

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...present.
More mindful.

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Trying to search for where
home is for me now.

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Trying to get to the core of who I am.

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[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER]
♪ We will go on ♪

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♪ to another place in time. ♪