WEBVTT 00:00:13.615 --> 00:00:14.485 Nice hat 00:00:14.746 --> 00:00:15.611 Dork 00:00:15.611 --> 00:00:17.046 You look like a duck 00:00:17.046 --> 00:00:18.688 I had alfred read your books 00:00:18.903 --> 00:00:20.344 He told me they suck 00:00:20.513 --> 00:00:22.257 I'll crush your British nuts until 00:00:22.257 --> 00:00:23.488 They "Bangers and Mash" 00:00:23.488 --> 00:00:25.532 I'v seen better detective work 00:00:25.578 --> 00:00:26.980 In tango and cash 00:00:27.303 --> 00:00:28.189 You chump 00:00:28.189 --> 00:00:30.191 I kick punks like you off the street 00:00:30.714 --> 00:00:31.834 While you and Velma here 00:00:32.110 --> 00:00:33.674 Solving Scoopy-Doo mysteries 00:00:34.350 --> 00:00:35.714 Nothing makes me laugh 00:00:35.776 --> 00:00:37.426 But I bet raps can 00:00:37.426 --> 00:00:38.733 So bring it on 00:00:38.733 --> 00:00:39.764 Bitch 00:00:40.040 --> 00:00:40.820 I am Batman 00:00:40.820 --> 00:00:42.429 I once met a rich fellow 00:00:42.429 --> 00:00:44.180 Who smelled of guano and pain 00:00:44.180 --> 00:00:45.296 Holmes explain 00:00:45.296 --> 00:00:46.551 I deduce this deuce stain 00:00:46.551 --> 00:00:47.665 Is Bruce Wayne 00:00:47.680 --> 00:00:48.345 The billionaire? 00:00:48.345 --> 00:00:49.891 Yes, his wealth would allow 00:00:49.891 --> 00:00:51.133 This adversary of ours 00:00:51.133 --> 00:00:52.797 To afford the toys he need 00:00:52.797 --> 00:00:54.651 Since he has no superpower 00:00:54.651 --> 00:00:56.228 You want a battle, bat? 00:00:56.228 --> 00:00:56.951 Bring it then! 00:00:56.951 --> 00:00:58.519 I heard he has a British Butler 00:00:58.519 --> 00:01:00.006 Good! Then he'll be used to 00:01:00.006 --> 00:01:01.803 Getting served by Englishmen 00:01:01.803 --> 00:01:03.618 Whack vigilante black-pantied 00:01:03.618 --> 00:01:04.966 Spud with no skills 00:01:04.966 --> 00:01:06.509 My sidekick is a doctor 00:01:06.509 --> 00:01:08.815 'cause his flows are so ill 00:01:08.815 --> 00:01:09.917 Shut up, nerds! 00:01:09.917 --> 00:01:11.807 I serve justice, so eat it 00:01:11.807 --> 00:01:13.722 My sidekick only comes around 00:01:13.799 --> 00:01:14.904 When he's needed 00:01:14.904 --> 00:01:15.398 Boy 00:01:15.398 --> 00:01:16.080 Wonder make you wonder 00:01:16.080 --> 00:01:16.982 how your ass got killed 00:01:16.982 --> 00:01:17.981 bite harder than those hounds 00:01:17.981 --> 00:01:18.596 down in Baskerville 00:01:18.596 --> 00:01:19.188 I'll blast you with that 00:01:19.188 --> 00:01:20.129 Bat-wack-rap repellent 00:01:20.129 --> 00:01:20.883 rappel a building, snatch a villain 00:01:20.913 --> 00:01:22.170 then by dinner be chillin' 00:01:22.170 --> 00:01:22.965 gotta secret 'bout your homegirl 00:01:22.965 --> 00:01:23.935 Irene Adler 00:01:23.935 --> 00:01:24.825 took her back to my nest 00:01:24.825 --> 00:01:25.559 to bam pow kersplat her 00:01:25.559 --> 00:01:26.558 I'll shatter that fiddle 00:01:26.558 --> 00:01:27.291 with a chop of the hand 00:01:27.291 --> 00:01:28.410 holy Conan Doyle let's get 'em 00:01:28.410 --> 00:01:29.211 oh god damn 00:01:29.211 --> 00:01:30.153 You're not smart 00:01:30.429 --> 00:01:31.470 You're selfish 00:01:31.470 --> 00:01:32.476 You endanger everyone's life 00:01:32.476 --> 00:01:34.176 Why don't you let your boyfriend here 00:01:34.191 --> 00:01:35.362 Go home to his wife 00:01:35.715 --> 00:01:36.584 Nobody likes you 00:01:36.584 --> 00:01:37.950 Not your brother, not you partner 00:01:37.950 --> 00:01:39.066 Nor Scotland Yard 00:01:39.066 --> 00:01:40.501 You'll die alone with no friends 00:01:40.501 --> 00:01:42.758 Except that needle in your arm 00:01:43.328 --> 00:01:45.905 This mustn't register on an emotional level 00:01:45.905 --> 00:01:48.405 First: exploit childhood tragedy 00:01:49.713 --> 00:01:50.803 Then, gesture with pipe 00:01:50.803 --> 00:01:52.304 Watson finishes punchline 00:01:52.843 --> 00:01:54.763 Next, acknowledge compliment 00:01:54.763 --> 00:01:56.526 Conclude with killer catchphrase 00:01:56.526 --> 00:01:58.257 I believe your parents' homicide 00:01:58.319 --> 00:01:59.484 Is why you mask your face 00:01:59.484 --> 00:02:00.744 You're shamed and traumatized 00:02:00.775 --> 00:02:02.530 And haunted by the vast disgrace 00:02:02.576 --> 00:02:04.148 of watching like a passive waste 00:02:04.148 --> 00:02:04.989 As momma died 00:02:04.989 --> 00:02:06.780 and daddy was dispatched with haste 00:02:06.780 --> 00:02:08.192 Holmes you've cracked the case! 00:02:08.192 --> 00:02:10.475 you're a batshit crazy basketcase 00:02:10.475 --> 00:02:11.572 Bloody good rhymes! 00:02:11.572 --> 00:02:12.780 I've got tonnes 00:02:12.780 --> 00:02:14.854 Dissing these dynamic douchebags was 00:02:15.100 --> 00:02:16.996 Elementary my dear Watson! 00:02:16.996 --> 00:02:17.733 Hoooooo! 00:02:17.733 --> 00:02:18.953 Who won? 00:02:18.953 --> 00:02:20.598 Who's next? 00:02:20.598 --> 00:02:22.518 You decide!