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“Mr. Trump...your presidency?

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I love your presidency.

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I call it “Disgrace the Nation.”

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You have more people marching

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against you than cancer.

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You talk like a sign language gorilla

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who got hit in the head.

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In fact, the only thing your mouth

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Is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s

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[bleep] holster.”

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Remember that time,

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back in January,

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when millions of Americans fired up Pinterest,

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broke out their gluesticks,

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and went arts & crafts wild like kids at camp?

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Armed with thousands of colorful banners,

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posters and signs,

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an estimated four and a half

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million people around the world took to the streets

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on January 21, 2017 for the Women’s March.`

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To remind ourselves of just a few of the reasons

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why people were out that day,

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let’s pause for a moment

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and listen to some words from our

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Commander-in-Chief that helped inspire this

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tremendous event.

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“I did try and fuck her.

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She was married.

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I moved on her like a bitch.

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But I couldn’t get there.

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And she was married.

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You know, I’m automatically attracted to a

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beautiful - I just start kissing them.

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It’s like a magnet. Just kiss.

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[laughter]

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I don’t even wait.

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And when you’re a star,

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they let you do it.

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You can do anything.”

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“Whatever you want.”

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“Grab them by the pussy.

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You can do anything.”

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Yeah, that’s our President

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back in 2005 when he was

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merely a billionaire reality TV show host,

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proudly admitting how he abused his power and

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celebrity to sexually harass and

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assault vulnerable women.

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And by the way:

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this may be the most famous example of Trump

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telling us what he considers to be the real

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“Art of the Deal”

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but it’s by no means the only one.

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Even before Trump announced his

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candidacy for President,

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every news cycle about him

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was like being stuck in a game of

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Rape Culture Jumanji.

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And partially in response to his blatant, abusive

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misogyny, upwards of 4.6 million people gathered

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in more than 550 cities in the United States alone,

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many of them wielding some seriously spectacular

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signs displaying messages of resistance to

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systematic racism, sexism, and other forms of

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oppression.

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But unfortunately, not all the images or chants

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back in January were inspirational.

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In fact, when you get right down to it,

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some of the signs and slogans

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didn’t just lack creativity –

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they actively reinforced precisely what the people

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holding them thought they were protesting.

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Punchy doesn’t always equal progressive, y’all.

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When you’re “joking” about the unusually small

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size of someone’s hands,

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or laughing at pictures of him in homoerotic

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scenarios, you’re actually feeding the same logic

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that encourages someone to think they can,

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well, “move on someone like a bitch.”

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Our culture tells us how a “real man” should think,

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what he should look like,

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and who he can dominate.

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These messages are toxic.

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They depend on a version of masculinity that says:

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“Real’ men use power to dominate.

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They take what they want,

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in business,

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or politics,

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or in their relationships with women.

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And yes, these messages equate having

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small hands -- or small anything

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with being less of a “real” man.

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Let’s look at some more examples to help us

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unpack how this works.

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In August of 2016,

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our last blissful,

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pre-election summer,

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a statue appeared in New York City’s Union Square

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of a very naked Donald Trump.

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The size of this statue’s genitals was clearly

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intended to be an insult to the man whose greatest

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leadership experience up to that point may have

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been the two times he fired Stephen Baldwin on

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The Celebrity Apprentice.

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"You're fired."

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From public art and social media

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to protests and marches,

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renderings like this statue are everywhere.

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It’s impossible to avoid the memes about

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hand size, poorly-executed spray tans,

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and combovers that are are meant to offend

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a certain thin-skinned individual

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who has a tendency to rage on Twitter and also

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has access to the nuclear codes.

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In addition to the sea of miniature members,

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tiny hands,

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and aggressively orange bouffants,

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criticism in public spaces has included numerous

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images of Trump and Putin taking their diplomatic

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intimacy to the physical level.

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Valentine’s Day proved to be a pretty great

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opportunity for artists intending to defy Trump,

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to use some homoerotic imagery

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to get in some jabs.

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But in this case, homoerotic

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equates to homophobic.

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If you use gay imagery to insult someone, the

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implication is that homosexuality is itself

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something shameful.

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These images don’t just criticize a political

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relationship.

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They emasculate Trump by using make-up,

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pregnancy, and even his position as

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the “little spoon” to suggest his effeminacy.

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These images also mock the notion of two men

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being together sexually or romantically,

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which communicates to all onlookers that,

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in 2017, intimacy between two “real men” is

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laughable.

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People who would consider themselves LGBT

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allies are deploying the kind of rhetoric that implies

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that anything other than stereotypically masculine

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or heterosexual behavior is wrong or absurd.

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What do we mean when we say “stereotypically

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masculine”?

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Well, the media we create and engage

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with too often depicts aggression,

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physical strength, pride, protectiveness,

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and even short tempers as “manly.”

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We’ve elevated those traits from “manly virtues“

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to masculine requirements –

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and any deviation from

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them makes a man suspect.

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The end result is that at times our entire culture

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seems like a backslapping locker room full of

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chuckleheads, and we get a President who learned

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diplomacy from The Little Rascals.

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“And what do you say if we form a new club...and

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call it the ‘He-Man Woman Haters’ Club’?”

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These images are so pervasive,

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And so socially entrenched,

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that we’ve come to accept them as natural and

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true, like the sun rising in the east or every

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odd-numbered Star Trek movie being total crap.

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But there’s nothing objectively true about the way

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our culture dictates how to be a man.

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In fact, this version of masculinity is only

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recognizable because we contrast it with its

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opposite: weakness, humility, and vulnerability:

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in other words, “femininity.”

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If being a “real man” means being stoic, strong,

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and rational,

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then being a “real” woman wins you a lifetime

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supply of timidity, weakness, and hysteria.

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Bonus round: the word “hysteria” comes from the

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Greek word for “uterus.”

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Associations of compassion, vulnerability, and

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emotion with femininity are no more intrinsically

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true than associations of aggression and

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dominance with masculinity.

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But in setting up this contrast,

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and by defining

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behaviors, bodies, and appearances

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as either masculine or feminine,

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our culture says that men should exhibit masculine

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attributes, and conversely, women should exhibit

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recognizably feminine traits.

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Cross or blur that culturally-defined line,

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and you’ve got a real problem on your hands

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– no matter how big or small.

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The truth is that cultural ideas about masculinity

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and femininity limit all of us to one degree or

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another,

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though people who identify as men and people

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who identify as women are impacted

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in very different ways.

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In our culture, the attributes associated with

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femininity are deeply shameful for “real men” to

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possess.

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There’s nothing more insulting a man can say to

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another man than to question his masculinity or to

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call him some colorful synonym for woman.

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Why?

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Because as we continue to perpetuate this strict

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system of only two gender options, femininity

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continues to be regarded as something negative.

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“Well, what am I then?

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“What are you?

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You are my bitch.

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That’s what.

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My own, personal bitch.”

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“I’m gonna make you my bitch’s bitch.

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You’re gonna be my grandbitch.”

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“Stop being such a pussy!”

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“You fucking shot me!”

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In actuality, people of any gender can possess any

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personality trait,

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and can find themselves within

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the binary of male and female,

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somewhere in-between,

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or outside of it entirely.

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But, as long as our culture maintains and

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normalizes rigid expectations related to gender –

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like, continuing to prize masculinity while

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denigrating femininity –

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these ideas about gender will contribute to the

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oppression of particular groups of people,

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including women, trans folks,

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and non-binary people.

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Ok, so you may be asking,

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what does all this have to do with insults hurled

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at Donald Trump?

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Let me be very clear about this:

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I AM NOT defending Donald Trump.

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This is about recognizing that “jokes” about who is

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and isn’t a real man are the kinds of things that

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Trump himself would laugh at.

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Yeah, we know that this kind of stuff drives Trump

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up the wall.

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But that’s not a good excuse to participate in

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it.

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We’re better than that.

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We’re certainly funnier.

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We need to challenge what many of those

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criticisms and insults are actually saying about

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men, women, gender, and sexuality,

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because they reinforce harmful patriarchal ideas

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that actually benefit people like our current

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president.

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Sure, it can be gratifying to carry a sign or share

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a Facebook post that would get under the skin of

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our quick-tempered, fast-tweeting,

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rarely self-reflecting President.

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And because Trump buys so fully into deeply sexist

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ideas about masculinity and power himself,

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questioning his masculinity can seem like an easy,

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effective way to knock him down a peg.

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But we have to think about the message we’re

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sending when we insult anyone using the idea that

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small hands are unmanly,

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or that two men loving each other is embarrassing

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- even a president who was leaving a bad taste in

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people’s mouths with his personal line of steaks at

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the Sharper Image...long before he was offending

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and embarrassing us as Commander-in-Chief.

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If we rely on patriarchal ideas of masculinity to

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insult and protest against someone who clearly

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benefits from patriarchy and misogyny,

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and from his own position as a straight, white,

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tremendously wealthy man,

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then we help to perpetuate these same norms.

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These are the very norms that help enable

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someone to laugh off their own history of sexism

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and sexual assault, and still get elected to the

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highest office in the land.

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What would actually be transgressive and

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challenging to Trump is a resistance that works to

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dismantle the very notions of patriarchy and power

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that helped propel him to the presidency.

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A resistance that defies rigid notions of

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masculinity and femininity and loudly embraces

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people of all genders and all gender expressions.

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So let’s stop resorting to body shaming or

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homophobia when what we’re really trying to do is

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critique the misogyny,

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the history of sexual assault,

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and the abuse of political power by someone who

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should have done us a huge favor and

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disappeared from the public sphere

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following his cameo in Home Alone 2.

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"Excuse me, where's the lobby?"

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"Down the hall and to the left."

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"Thanks."

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This is our brand new Feminist Frequency show!

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If you like what we’re doing here,

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