0:00:00.812,0:00:02.808
There's an African proverb that goes,

0:00:02.832,0:00:05.486
"The lion's story will never be known

0:00:05.510,0:00:07.950
as long as the hunter[br]is the one to tell it."

0:00:09.273,0:00:13.511
More than a racial conversation,[br]we need a racial literacy

0:00:13.535,0:00:16.919
to decode the politics[br]of racial threat in America.

0:00:18.335,0:00:20.757
Key to this literacy is a forgotten truth,

0:00:21.614,0:00:24.864
that the more we understand

0:00:24.888,0:00:28.435
that our cultural differences[br]represent the power

0:00:28.459,0:00:30.046
to heal the centuries

0:00:30.070,0:00:31.898
of racial discrimination,

0:00:31.922,0:00:33.663
dehumanization and illness.

0:00:34.495,0:00:37.116
Both of my parents were African-American.

0:00:37.849,0:00:39.921
My father was born in Southern Delaware,

0:00:39.945,0:00:41.408
my mother, North Philadelphia,

0:00:41.432,0:00:45.722
and these two places are as different[br]from each other as east is from west,

0:00:45.746,0:00:48.086
as New York City is[br]from Montgomery, Alabama.

0:00:49.262,0:00:51.687
My father's way of dealing[br]with racial conflict

0:00:51.711,0:00:55.454
was to have my brother Bryan,[br]my sister Christy and I in church

0:00:55.478,0:00:58.338
what seemed like 24 hours a day,[br]seven days a week.

0:00:58.362,0:00:59.512
(Laughter)

0:01:00.406,0:01:04.403
If anybody bothered us[br]because of the color of our skin,

0:01:04.427,0:01:06.625
he believed that you should pray for them,

0:01:06.649,0:01:09.457
knowing that God[br]would get them back in the end.

0:01:09.481,0:01:10.654
(Laughter)

0:01:11.256,0:01:14.531
You could say that his racial-coping[br]approach was spiritual --

0:01:14.555,0:01:16.510
for later on, one day,

0:01:16.534,0:01:17.830
like Martin Luther King.

0:01:18.658,0:01:21.097
My mother's coping approach[br]was a little different.

0:01:21.121,0:01:23.896
She was, uh, you could say,[br]more relational --

0:01:23.920,0:01:26.140
right now, like, in your face,

0:01:26.164,0:01:27.314
right now.

0:01:27.826,0:01:29.196
More like Malcolm X.

0:01:29.220,0:01:30.536
(Laughter)

0:01:30.560,0:01:32.140
She was raised from neighborhoods

0:01:32.164,0:01:34.600
in which there was racial[br]violence and segregation,

0:01:34.624,0:01:36.704
where she was chased out of neighborhoods,

0:01:36.728,0:01:39.275
and she exacted violence[br]to chase others out of hers.

0:01:39.299,0:01:41.288
When she came to Southern Delaware,

0:01:41.312,0:01:43.539
she thought she had come[br]to a foreign country.

0:01:44.023,0:01:45.468
She didn't understand anybody,

0:01:46.087,0:01:48.952
particularly the few black and brown folks

0:01:48.976,0:01:52.234
who were physically deferential[br]and verbally deferential

0:01:52.258,0:01:53.636
in the presence of whites.

0:01:54.238,0:01:55.392
Not my mother.

0:01:55.416,0:01:57.647
When she wanted to go[br]somewhere, she walked.

0:01:57.671,0:01:59.396
She didn't care what you thought.

0:01:59.780,0:02:02.611
And she pissed a lot of people off[br]with her cultural style.

0:02:03.660,0:02:05.613
Before we get into the supermarket,

0:02:05.637,0:02:07.425
she would give us the talk:

0:02:08.393,0:02:10.087
"Don't ask for nothin',

0:02:10.111,0:02:11.496
don't touch nothin'.

0:02:12.149,0:02:14.516
Do you understand what I'm saying to you?

0:02:16.168,0:02:19.257
I don't care if all the other children[br]are climbing the walls.

0:02:19.281,0:02:20.821
They're not my children.

0:02:20.845,0:02:23.029
Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

0:02:24.134,0:02:25.666
In three-part harmony:

0:02:25.690,0:02:26.840
"Yes, Mom."

0:02:28.674,0:02:31.147
Before we'd get into the supermarket,

0:02:31.171,0:02:33.031
that talk was all we needed.

0:02:33.055,0:02:35.384
Now, how many of you ever got that talk?

0:02:36.194,0:02:38.396
How many of you ever give that talk?

0:02:38.420,0:02:39.871
(Laughter)

0:02:39.895,0:02:42.288
How many of you ever give that talk today?

0:02:43.898,0:02:47.244
My mother didn't give us the talk[br]because she was worried about money

0:02:47.268,0:02:48.436
or reputation

0:02:48.460,0:02:49.906
or us misbehaving.

0:02:49.930,0:02:51.236
We never misbehaved.

0:02:51.260,0:02:52.422
We were too scared.

0:02:53.017,0:02:54.677
We were in church 24 hours a day,

0:02:54.701,0:02:55.852
seven days a week.

0:02:55.876,0:02:57.215
(Laughter)

0:02:57.682,0:02:59.669
She gave us that talk to remind us

0:02:59.693,0:03:03.898
that some people in the world[br]would interpret us as misbehaving

0:03:03.922,0:03:05.366
just by being black.

0:03:06.122,0:03:10.431
Not every parent has to worry[br]about their children being misjudged

0:03:10.455,0:03:12.338
because of the color of their skin,

0:03:12.362,0:03:13.672
just by breathing.

0:03:14.710,0:03:16.668
So we get into the supermarket,

0:03:16.692,0:03:17.862
and people look at us --

0:03:17.886,0:03:19.971
stare at us as if we just stole something.

0:03:21.793,0:03:25.252
Every now and then, a salesperson[br]would do something or say something

0:03:25.276,0:03:27.649
because they were pissed[br]with our cultural style,

0:03:27.673,0:03:29.982
and it would usually happen[br]at the conveyor belt.

0:03:30.006,0:03:34.166
And the worst thing they could do[br]was to throw our food into the bag.

0:03:34.858,0:03:36.693
And when that happened, it was on.

0:03:36.717,0:03:37.789
(Laughter)

0:03:37.813,0:03:40.012
My mother began[br]to tell them who they were,

0:03:40.036,0:03:41.574
who their family was,

0:03:41.598,0:03:43.049
where to go,

0:03:43.073,0:03:44.604
how fast to get there.

0:03:44.628,0:03:45.936
(Laughter)

0:03:45.960,0:03:49.107
If you haven't been cursed out[br]by my mother, you haven't lived.

0:03:49.131,0:03:50.281
(Laughter)

0:03:50.783,0:03:52.449
The person would be on the floor,

0:03:52.473,0:03:55.567
writhing in utter decay and decomposition,

0:03:55.591,0:03:57.834
whimpering in a pool of racial shame.

0:03:57.858,0:03:59.009
(Laughter)

0:03:59.033,0:04:01.448
Now, both my parents were Christians.

0:04:02.003,0:04:05.148
The difference is my father prayed[br]before a racial conflict

0:04:05.172,0:04:06.851
and my mother prayed after.

0:04:06.875,0:04:08.298
(Laughter)

0:04:08.813,0:04:11.818
There is a time, if you use[br]both of their strategies,

0:04:11.842,0:04:14.516
if you use them in the right time[br]and the right way.

0:04:15.073,0:04:16.948
But it's never a time --

0:04:16.972,0:04:19.040
there's a time for conciliation,

0:04:19.064,0:04:21.161
there's a time for confrontation,

0:04:21.185,0:04:25.172
but it's never a time to freeze up[br]like a deer in the headlights,

0:04:25.695,0:04:30.281
and it's never a time to lash out[br]in heedless, thoughtless anger.

0:04:31.062,0:04:32.526
The lesson in this is

0:04:33.175,0:04:34.974
that when it comes to race relations,

0:04:34.998,0:04:37.043
sometimes, we've got to know how to pray,

0:04:37.067,0:04:39.244
think through, process, prepare.

0:04:39.630,0:04:41.887
And other times,[br]we've got to know how to push,

0:04:41.911,0:04:43.285
how to do something.

0:04:43.309,0:04:46.156
And I'm afraid that neither[br]of these two skills --

0:04:46.607,0:04:47.783
preparing,

0:04:48.550,0:04:49.708
pushing --

0:04:49.732,0:04:51.753
are prevalent in our society today.

0:04:54.991,0:04:58.070
If you look at the neuroscience research

0:04:59.800,0:05:02.424
which says that when[br]we are racially threatened,

0:05:02.448,0:05:04.118
our brains go on lockdown,

0:05:04.142,0:05:06.357
and we dehumanize black and brown people.

0:05:07.095,0:05:12.642
Our brains imagine that children[br]and adults are older than they really are,

0:05:13.309,0:05:14.988
larger than they really are

0:05:15.012,0:05:16.644
and closer than they really are.

0:05:17.901,0:05:20.060
When we're at our worst,[br]we convince ourselves

0:05:20.084,0:05:22.425
that they don't deserve[br]affection or protection.

0:05:23.797,0:05:25.740
At the Racial Empowerment Collaborative,

0:05:25.764,0:05:30.541
we know that some of the scariest[br]moments are racial encounters,

0:05:31.302,0:05:34.281
some of the scariest moments[br]that people will ever face.

0:05:35.266,0:05:39.787
If you look at the police encounters[br]that have led to some wrongful deaths

0:05:39.811,0:05:43.050
of mostly Native Americans[br]and African-Americans in this country,

0:05:43.074,0:05:45.329
they've lasted about two minutes.

0:05:46.266,0:05:48.213
Within 60 seconds,

0:05:48.237,0:05:50.350
our brains go on lockdown.

0:05:50.734,0:05:52.118
And when we're unprepared,

0:05:52.142,0:05:53.335
we overreact.

0:05:53.676,0:05:55.201
At best, we shut down.

0:05:55.842,0:05:58.397
At worst, we shoot first[br]and ask no questions.

0:05:59.805,0:06:03.234
Imagine if we could reduce[br]the intensity of threat

0:06:03.258,0:06:04.582
within those 60 seconds

0:06:05.164,0:06:07.593
and keep our brains[br]from going on lockdown.

0:06:08.695,0:06:11.926
Imagine how many children[br]would get to come home from school

0:06:11.950,0:06:13.109
or 7-Eleven

0:06:13.133,0:06:15.238
without getting expelled or shot.

0:06:16.256,0:06:19.649
Imagine how many mothers[br]and fathers wouldn't have to cry.

0:06:21.339,0:06:27.157
Racial socialization can help young people[br]negotiate 60-second encounters,

0:06:27.181,0:06:29.423
but it's going to take more than a chat.

0:06:29.447,0:06:31.316
It requires a racial literacy.

0:06:32.560,0:06:34.704
Now, how do parents[br]have these conversations,

0:06:34.728,0:06:36.699
and what is a racial literacy?

0:06:36.723,0:06:37.912
Thank you for asking.

0:06:37.936,0:06:39.161
(Laughter)

0:06:39.185,0:06:43.520
A racial literacy involves[br]the ability to read,

0:06:43.544,0:06:46.595
recast and resolve[br]a racially stressful encounter.

0:06:47.348,0:06:50.766
Reading involves recognizing[br]when a racial moment happens

0:06:50.790,0:06:52.858
and noticing our stress reactions to it.

0:06:53.958,0:06:55.584
Recasting involves

0:06:56.830,0:07:01.775
taking mindfulness and reducing[br]my tsunami interpretation of this moment

0:07:01.799,0:07:05.080
and reducing it[br]to a mountain-climbing experience,

0:07:05.104,0:07:06.571
one that is --

0:07:06.595,0:07:10.226
from impossible situation[br]to one that is much more doable

0:07:10.250,0:07:11.407
and challenging.

0:07:13.048,0:07:16.292
Resolving a racially stressful[br]encounter involves

0:07:16.316,0:07:18.449
being able to make a healthy decision

0:07:18.473,0:07:22.356
that is not an underreaction,[br]where I pretend, "That didn't bother me,"

0:07:22.380,0:07:25.606
or an overreaction,[br]where I exaggerate the moment.

0:07:26.578,0:07:31.201
Now, we can teach parents and children[br]how to read, recast and resolve

0:07:31.831,0:07:36.802
using a mindfulness strategy[br]we call: "Calculate, locate, communicate,

0:07:36.826,0:07:38.086
breathe and exhale."

0:07:38.110,0:07:39.260
Stay with me.

0:07:39.663,0:07:41.108
"Calculate" asks,

0:07:41.132,0:07:42.867
"What feeling am I having right now,

0:07:42.891,0:07:45.985
and how intense is it[br]on a scale of one to 10?"

0:07:47.331,0:07:50.612
"Locate" asks, "Where[br]in my body do I feel it?"

0:07:51.209,0:07:52.431
And be specific,

0:07:53.283,0:07:57.442
like the Native American girl at a Chicago[br]fifth-grade school said to me,

0:07:58.281,0:08:02.187
"I feel angry at a nine[br]because I'm the only Native American.

0:08:03.020,0:08:05.740
And I can feel it in my stomach,

0:08:05.764,0:08:08.592
like a bunch of butterflies[br]are fighting with each other,

0:08:08.616,0:08:11.760
so much so that they fly up[br]into my throat and choke me."

0:08:12.545,0:08:14.022
The more detailed you can be,

0:08:14.046,0:08:16.064
the easier it is to reduce that spot.

0:08:16.703,0:08:17.906
"Communicate" asks,

0:08:17.930,0:08:20.703
"What self-talk and what images[br]are coming in my mind?"

0:08:21.052,0:08:23.983
And if you really want help,[br]try breathing in

0:08:24.007,0:08:25.485
and exhaling slowly.

0:08:26.648,0:08:30.382
With the help of my many colleagues[br]at the Racial Empowerment Collaborative,

0:08:30.406,0:08:32.621
we use in-the-moment stress-reduction

0:08:32.645,0:08:35.050
in several research and therapy projects.

0:08:35.881,0:08:40.624
One project is where we use basketball[br]to help youth manage their emotions

0:08:40.648,0:08:43.013
during 60-second eruptions on the court.

0:08:44.035,0:08:49.149
Another project, with the help[br]of my colleagues Loretta and John Jemmott,

0:08:49.902,0:08:54.087
we leverage the cultural style[br]of African-American barbershops,

0:08:54.111,0:08:57.828
where we train black barbers[br]to be health educators in two areas:

0:08:58.475,0:09:02.504
one, to safely reduce the sexual risk[br]in their partner relationships;

0:09:02.528,0:09:03.885
and the other,

0:09:03.909,0:09:05.851
to stop retaliation violence.

0:09:06.636,0:09:09.501
The cool part is the barbers use[br]their cultural style

0:09:09.525,0:09:13.335
to deliver this health education[br]to 18- to 24-year-old men

0:09:13.359,0:09:14.955
while they're cutting their hair.

0:09:15.991,0:09:18.998
Another project is where we teach teachers

0:09:19.022,0:09:23.609
how to read, recast and resolve[br]stressful moments in the classroom.

0:09:24.275,0:09:28.963
And a final project, in which we teach[br]parents and their children separately

0:09:29.717,0:09:32.043
to understand their racial traumas

0:09:32.067,0:09:36.195
before we bring them together[br]to problem-solve daily microaggressions.

0:09:37.394,0:09:41.052
Now, racially literate conversations[br]with our children can be healing,

0:09:41.076,0:09:42.962
but it takes practice.

0:09:42.986,0:09:45.188
And I know some of you[br]are saying, "Practice?

0:09:45.212,0:09:46.378
Practice?

0:09:46.402,0:09:47.927
We're talking about practice?"

0:09:48.365,0:09:50.117
Yes, we are talking about practice.

0:09:51.126,0:09:52.511
I have two sons.

0:09:53.703,0:09:55.374
My oldest, Bryan, is 26,

0:09:55.398,0:09:57.517
and my youngest, Julian, is 12.

0:09:58.069,0:10:00.818
And we do not have time[br]to talk about how that happened.

0:10:00.842,0:10:02.556
(Laughter)

0:10:02.580,0:10:03.743
But,

0:10:04.445,0:10:05.855
when I think of them,

0:10:05.879,0:10:07.214
they are still babies to me,

0:10:07.238,0:10:09.913
and I worry every day[br]that the world will misjudge them.

0:10:11.887,0:10:14.340
In August of 2013,

0:10:14.966,0:10:17.925
Julian, who was eight at the time,[br]and I were folding laundry,

0:10:17.949,0:10:20.294
which in and of itself[br]is such a rare occurrence,

0:10:20.318,0:10:23.544
I should have known something[br]strange was going to happen.

0:10:23.568,0:10:25.790
On the TV were Trayvon Martin's parents,

0:10:25.814,0:10:27.058
and they were crying

0:10:28.027,0:10:30.272
because of the acquittal[br]of George Zimmerman.

0:10:30.296,0:10:32.466
And Julian was glued to the TV.

0:10:34.281,0:10:37.106
He had a thousand questions,[br]and I was not prepared.

0:10:37.130,0:10:38.447
He wanted to know why:

0:10:38.471,0:10:43.749
Why would a grown man stalk[br]and hunt down and kill

0:10:43.773,0:10:45.741
an unarmed 17-year-old boy?

0:10:46.583,0:10:48.147
And I did not know what to say.

0:10:48.171,0:10:50.613
The best thing that could[br]come out of my mouth was,

0:10:50.637,0:10:53.614
"Julian, sometimes in this world,[br]there are people

0:10:53.638,0:10:55.648
who look down on black and brown people

0:10:56.985,0:10:59.184
and do not treat them --[br]and children, too --

0:10:59.208,0:11:00.769
do not treat them as human."

0:11:01.506,0:11:04.401
He interpreted the whole situation as sad.

0:11:04.981,0:11:06.980
(Voice-over) Julian Stevenson: That's sad.

0:11:07.014,0:11:08.821
"We don't care. You're not our kind."

0:11:08.845,0:11:09.996
HS: Yes.

0:11:10.020,0:11:13.381
JS: It's like, "We're better than you."

0:11:13.405,0:11:14.556
HS: Yes.

0:11:14.580,0:11:17.891
JS: "And there's nothing[br]you can do about that.

0:11:17.915,0:11:20.371
And if you scare me,[br]or something like that,

0:11:20.395,0:11:23.025
I will shoot you[br]because I'm scared of you."

0:11:23.049,0:11:24.263
HS: Exactly.

0:11:24.775,0:11:26.658
But if somebody's stalking you --

0:11:26.682,0:11:28.660
JS: It's not the same for everyone else.

0:11:28.684,0:11:31.571
HS: It's not always the same, no.[br]You've got to be careful.

0:11:31.595,0:11:33.659
JS: Yeah, because people[br]can disrespect you.

0:11:33.683,0:11:34.861
HS: Exactly.

0:11:34.885,0:11:36.659
JS: And think that you're,

0:11:38.851,0:11:42.890
"You don't look --[br]you don't look like you're ..."

0:11:43.611,0:11:48.256
It's like they're saying[br]that "You don't look right,

0:11:48.280,0:11:50.713
so I guess I have the right[br]to disrespect you."

0:11:50.737,0:11:52.522
HS: Yeah, and that's what we call,

0:11:52.972,0:11:54.181
we call that racism.

0:11:54.705,0:11:56.520
And we call that racism, Julian,

0:11:56.544,0:11:59.675
and yes, some people -- other[br]people -- can wear a hoodie,

0:12:00.306,0:12:01.688
and nothing happens to them.

0:12:01.712,0:12:04.056
But you and Trayvon might,

0:12:04.747,0:12:08.356
and that's why Daddy wants you to be safe.

0:12:08.380,0:12:10.012
(Voice-over) HS: And that's why --

0:12:10.036,0:12:12.597
JS: So you mean like,[br]when you said "other people,"

0:12:12.621,0:12:15.557
you mean, like if Trayvon was a white,

0:12:16.362,0:12:18.876
um, that he wouldn't be[br]disrespected like that?

0:12:20.087,0:12:22.087
HS: Yes, Julian, Daddy meant white people

0:12:22.111,0:12:23.997
when I said, "other people," all right?

0:12:24.527,0:12:27.465
So there was a way in which[br]I was so awkward in the beginning,

0:12:27.489,0:12:29.921
but once I started getting[br]my rhythm and my groove,

0:12:29.945,0:12:34.545
I started talking about stereotypes[br]and issues of discrimination,

0:12:34.569,0:12:37.012
and just when I was getting my groove on,

0:12:37.036,0:12:38.539
Julian interrupted me.

0:12:39.688,0:12:43.207
(Voice-over) HS: ... dangerous,[br]or you're a criminal because you're black,

0:12:43.231,0:12:44.681
and you're a child or a boy --

0:12:44.705,0:12:46.863
That is wrong,[br]it doesn't matter who does it.

0:12:46.887,0:12:48.531
JS: Dad, I need to stop you there.

0:12:48.555,0:12:49.709
HS: What?

0:12:49.733,0:12:51.537
JS: Remember when we were ...

0:12:51.561,0:12:53.672
HS: So he interrupts me to tell me a story

0:12:53.696,0:12:57.342
about when he was racially threatened[br]at a swimming pool with a friend

0:12:57.366,0:12:59.011
by two grown white men,

0:12:59.035,0:13:00.884
which his mother confirmed.

0:13:00.908,0:13:03.757
And I felt happy[br]that he was able to talk about it;

0:13:03.781,0:13:05.388
it felt like he was getting it.

0:13:05.412,0:13:07.753
We moved from the sadness[br]of Trayvon's parents

0:13:07.777,0:13:10.527
and started talking about[br]George Zimmerman's parents,

0:13:10.551,0:13:12.551
which, I read in a magazine,

0:13:12.575,0:13:14.823
condoned the stalking of Trayvon.

0:13:14.847,0:13:17.546
And Julian's reaction to me was priceless.

0:13:17.570,0:13:20.055
It made me feel like he was getting it.

0:13:20.079,0:13:22.227
(Voice-over) JS: What did[br]they say about him?

0:13:22.251,0:13:25.485
HS: Well, I think they basically[br]felt that he was justified

0:13:25.509,0:13:27.887
to follow and stalk --

0:13:27.911,0:13:29.082
JS: What the -- ?

0:13:29.106,0:13:31.025
HS: Yeah, I think that's wrong.

0:13:31.049,0:13:32.464
JS: That's -- one minute.

0:13:32.488,0:13:36.456
So they're saying he has the right[br]to follow a black kid,

0:13:36.480,0:13:38.421
get in a fight with him and shoot him?

0:13:39.789,0:13:41.378
HS: As Julian was getting it,

0:13:41.402,0:13:42.747
I started to lose it.

0:13:43.470,0:13:45.463
Because in my mind's eye, I was thinking:

0:13:45.487,0:13:48.464
What if my Julian or Bryan was Trayvon?

0:13:49.478,0:13:51.573
I calculated my anger at a 10.

0:13:51.986,0:13:55.268
I found, located, my right[br]leg was shaking uncontrollably

0:13:55.292,0:13:56.532
like I was running.

0:13:57.022,0:14:00.004
And in my mind's eye,[br]I could see somebody chasing Julian,

0:14:00.028,0:14:02.056
and I was chasing them.

0:14:02.528,0:14:04.910
And the only thing[br]that could come out of my mouth

0:14:04.934,0:14:08.238
was if anybody tries[br]to bother my child ...

0:14:09.688,0:14:12.804
(Voice-over) HS: If anybody tries[br]to bother my child ...

0:14:12.828,0:14:13.995
mmm, mmm, mmm.

0:14:14.019,0:14:15.415
JS: What will happen?

0:14:15.439,0:14:17.403
HS: Well, they better run.

0:14:18.436,0:14:20.653
JS: Because what?[br]HS: I'm gonna get 'em.

0:14:20.677,0:14:21.828
JS: See? (Laughs)

0:14:21.852,0:14:23.653
HS: I'm gonna get 'em.[br]JS: Really?

0:14:23.677,0:14:24.835
HS: Oh, yeah.

0:14:24.859,0:14:27.916
JS: Then they're gonna get you[br]because they might have weapons.

0:14:27.940,0:14:31.088
HS: Well, you know what, I'm gonna[br]call police, too, like I should.

0:14:31.112,0:14:32.693
But I feel like I wanna get 'em.

0:14:32.717,0:14:35.722
But you can't; you're right,[br]you can't just go chasing people.

0:14:35.746,0:14:36.916
JS: They can be armed.

0:14:36.940,0:14:38.849
HS: Yeah, you right. Yeah, you right.

0:14:38.873,0:14:40.328
I feel like I wanna chase 'em.

0:14:40.352,0:14:42.437
JS: Plus they could be[br]an army or something.

0:14:42.461,0:14:45.631
HS: I know -- I feel like I wanna[br]go get 'em, messing with my son.

0:14:45.655,0:14:47.154
I don't like that.

0:14:47.178,0:14:48.329
JS: Um ...

0:14:48.353,0:14:50.478
HS: But you right. You gotta be careful.

0:14:51.070,0:14:53.571
And um, you gotta be careful.

0:14:54.247,0:14:57.365
You never know what some crazy people[br]will think about you.

0:14:58.756,0:15:00.900
Just as long as you believe[br]you're beautiful

0:15:00.924,0:15:03.766
like Daddy believes[br]you're beautiful and handsome,

0:15:03.790,0:15:07.283
and Mommy believes you're beautiful[br]and handsome and smart.

0:15:08.202,0:15:11.182
And you deserve to be on this planet,

0:15:11.206,0:15:14.307
just as happy and beautiful[br]and smart as you want to be.

0:15:15.180,0:15:16.963
You can do anything you want, baby.

0:15:19.056,0:15:23.111
HS: Racial socialization is not just[br]what parents teach their children.

0:15:23.541,0:15:27.064
It's also how children respond[br]to what their parents teach.

0:15:28.277,0:15:29.733
Is my child prepared?

0:15:31.097,0:15:34.757
Can they recognize when a racial elephant[br]shows up in a room?

0:15:35.288,0:15:38.556
Can they reduce[br]their tsunami interpretation

0:15:38.580,0:15:40.751
down to a mountain-climbing adventure

0:15:40.775,0:15:43.125
that they can engage and not run away?

0:15:43.568,0:15:47.924
Can they make a healthy[br]and just decision in 60 seconds?

0:15:48.511,0:15:49.694
Can I?

0:15:50.103,0:15:51.270
Can you?

0:15:51.660,0:15:53.189
Yes, we can.

0:15:53.955,0:15:57.517
We can build healthier[br]relationships around race

0:15:57.541,0:16:01.931
if we learn to calculate, locate[br]communicate, breathe and exhale

0:16:01.955,0:16:05.826
in the middle of our most[br]threatening moments,

0:16:05.850,0:16:08.499
when we come face-to-face[br]with our lesser selves.

0:16:10.898,0:16:13.226
If you take the centuries of racial rage

0:16:13.250,0:16:16.835
that boils up in all of our bodies,[br]minds and souls --

0:16:17.851,0:16:22.142
and anything that affects our bodies,[br]minds and souls affects our health --

0:16:22.658,0:16:25.731
we could probably use[br]gun control for our hearts.

0:16:26.667,0:16:29.707
I just want what all parents[br]want for their children

0:16:29.731,0:16:31.057
when we're not around:

0:16:31.081,0:16:32.743
affection and protection.

0:16:34.244,0:16:36.791
When police and teachers see my children,

0:16:36.815,0:16:38.811
I want them to imagine their own,

0:16:39.404,0:16:42.973
because I believe if you see[br]our children as your children,

0:16:43.703,0:16:45.119
you won't shoot them.

0:16:46.388,0:16:48.917
With racial literacy, and yes, practice,

0:16:48.941,0:16:53.073
we can decode the racial trauma[br]from our stories,

0:16:53.097,0:16:55.506
and our healing will come in the telling.

0:16:55.530,0:16:58.824
But we must never forget

0:16:59.848,0:17:03.994
that our cultural differences[br]are full of affection and protection,

0:17:04.018,0:17:07.940
and remember always[br]that the lion's story will never be known

0:17:07.964,0:17:10.352
as long as the hunter[br]is the one to tell it.

0:17:10.947,0:17:12.147
Thank you very much.

0:17:12.171,0:17:17.224
(Applause)