[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.26,0:00:09.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello, everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.96,0:00:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to start with a question.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.75,0:00:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many of you know the person\Nsitting next to you from before today?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.65,0:00:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Interesting.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.68,0:00:26.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, do you remember the first conversation\Nthat you ever had with that person?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.37,0:00:31.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know conversations are links.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.15,0:00:35.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's imagine every conversation\Nto be a tiny metal link.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.55,0:00:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every time you talk to a stranger,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.12,0:00:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a metal link is formed.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.02,0:00:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every conversation that you have\Nafter that moment,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.74,0:00:46.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the link gets stronger and stronger.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.99,0:00:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every day each one of us\Nmeets so many strangers:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.88,0:00:54.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the grocery guy, the cab guy\N
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.44,0:00:57.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe the receptionist\Nat a new office you went to.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.39,0:01:01.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And with every conversation\Nwe build new links.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.36,0:01:04.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until finally at the end,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.32,0:01:12.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've created a kind of massive\NWorld Wide Web of conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.92,0:01:14.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,World Wide Web.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.35,0:01:17.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a catchy word.\NI think I've heard that somewhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.18,0:01:22.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's it, right? A conversation.\NIt's a fascinating thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.80,0:01:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A conversation is an adventure.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.56,0:01:28.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A conversation gives you\Na whole new perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.64,0:01:31.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A conversation opens a door.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.22,0:01:36.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Conversations can make war\Nand conversations can make peace.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.76,0:01:41.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And conversations define\Nwho we are as a human race.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.11,0:01:44.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about this.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.61,0:01:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every single person in your life\Nwas once a stranger to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.28,0:01:55.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you knew nothing about them\Nuntil you had that first conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.70,0:02:00.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm here today to tell you\Nto talk to strangers,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.40,0:02:03.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to have a conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.22,0:02:05.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm here to tell you how.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.93,0:02:10.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seven ways that you can make\Na conversation with almost anyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.55,0:02:15.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a radio presenter
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.19,0:02:17.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I love talking to people.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.47,0:02:20.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do. I love it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.04,0:02:23.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm so glad that I do it for a living.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.11,0:02:24.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's what my day is like.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.94,0:02:27.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every single morning,\NI go into an empty room,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.79,0:02:29.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put on a mic,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.21,0:02:33.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have a conversation\Nwith 1.6 million people ...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.18,0:02:36.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I can't see.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.94,0:02:39.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.78,0:02:42.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what the hardest part is, though?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.14,0:02:43.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's time.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.46,0:02:47.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In a four-hour show, I get 20 minutes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.55,0:02:50.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all the talk there is.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.39,0:02:54.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in 20 minutes I have to convince you\Nthat I am your best friend.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.21,0:02:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do I do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.19,0:03:01.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do I establish a connection?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.10,0:03:06.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have 20 minutes to inform you,\Nto excite you, to engage with you
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.31,0:03:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but most importantly,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.84,0:03:10.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,20 out of the 20 times\Nthat I switch on that mic,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.70,0:03:13.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to leave a smile on your face.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.36,0:03:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except, I can't see you,\NI know nothing about you,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.79,0:03:22.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have no way\Nof gauging your reactions.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.49,0:03:25.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do you do it?\NHow do you talk to a stranger?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.49,0:03:31.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, my nine years in radio\Nhave taught me these simple little tricks.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.21,0:03:35.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Strangers,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.30,0:03:37.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.85,0:03:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we've always been told,\N"Don't talk to strangers!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.40,0:03:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I beg to differ.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.16,0:03:49.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every stranger comes with an opportunity,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.41,0:03:51.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an opportunity to learn something new,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.71,0:03:54.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an opportunity to have an experience\Nyou've never had
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.59,0:03:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or hear a story that you've\Nnever heard before.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.06,0:04:01.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you've had that moment, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.86,0:04:04.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're in the room\Nwith someone you don't know,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.30,0:04:08.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you look across the room,\Nyou see a stranger, and you think,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.28,0:04:10.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I want to talk to this person."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.38,0:04:14.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you can almost hear the first word\Nbut it just won't come out,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.18,0:04:16.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it kind of gets stuck about here,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.41,0:04:18.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it kind of goes up and down
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.66,0:04:20.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you don't know -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.73,0:04:22.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.09,0:04:24.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's my advice: just say it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.65,0:04:27.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the worst that can happen?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.24,0:04:30.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They want to talk to you.\NWell, they're not talking to you now.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.83,0:04:33.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first word floodgates.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.75,0:04:36.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I truly believe that the first word\Nacts as a floodgate.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.57,0:04:41.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, once you said the first word\Neverything else just flows.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.17,0:04:42.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So keep it simple.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.42,0:04:45.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A "Hi," a "Hey," a "Hello."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.09,0:04:49.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And do what every good bowler does.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.29,0:04:53.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just gather the enthusiasm,\Nthe positivity, the energy,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.72,0:04:57.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put on a big smile and say, "Hi!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.10,0:05:02.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know. There's going\Nto be that strange moment right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.56,0:05:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Turn to someone sitting next to you,\Nstick your hand out and say hello.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.06,0:05:07.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go on.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.13,0:05:11.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.13,0:05:13.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love the awkward laughter.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.60,0:05:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why is she making us do this?"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.80,0:05:18.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first word floodgates.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.39,0:05:24.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, here's a challenge\Nwe face every day.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.81,0:05:25.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Time.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.78,0:05:27.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have 90 seconds on radio,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.66,0:05:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we have to make that conversation\Nwith a stranger memorable.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.42,0:05:32.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So how do you do it?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.02,0:05:36.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the biggest challenge?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.48,0:05:37.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.42,0:05:40.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we get stuck in the rut of:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.76,0:05:42.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hi!" "Hey!"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.50,0:05:44.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How are you?" "I'm fine."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.59,0:05:47.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What's going on?" "Nothing much."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.04,0:05:49.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Same old." "So tell me what's new?"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.06,0:05:52.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There you go, 45 seconds down, wasted.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.60,0:05:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.79,0:05:55.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, here's my advice:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.02,0:05:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,skip the small talk\Nand ask a really personal question.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.02,0:06:00.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And don't be afraid.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.33,0:06:01.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.75,0:06:06.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You will be surprised how much people\Nare willing to share if you just ask.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.93,0:06:10.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So ask any kind of personal question.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.01,0:06:12.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe: Interesting name.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.93,0:06:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How did your parents think of it?\NIs there a story behind it?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.83,0:06:16.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or ...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.83,0:06:18.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How long have you lived in this city?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.67,0:06:21.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And do you remember\Nthe first day you landed here?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.07,0:06:25.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Answers to those questions\Nare always something unique,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.70,0:06:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,always something personal.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.60,0:06:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My favorite one to try is:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.62,0:06:34.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where do you come from?\NAnd where does your family live?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.35,0:06:35.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfailingly,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.43,0:06:38.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every single time\NI sit in a cab, I do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.35,0:06:39.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ask that question.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.70,0:06:42.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where do you come from?\NAnd where does your family live?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.38,0:06:43.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me tell you a little story.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.99,0:06:46.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was coming home one night ...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.64,0:06:50.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get into this taxi, open the door,\Nsit down and I say,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.17,0:06:52.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Where are you from?\NWhere does your family live?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.54,0:06:55.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the 60-year-old Pakistani\Ncab-driver goes on to tell me
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.30,0:06:57.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all about his life in Peshawar.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.57,0:06:59.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We talked about politics,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.28,0:07:03.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we talked about music,\Nfamily, wife, his farm.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.33,0:07:09.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And 20 minutes later he is convinced\Nthat I am the perfect bride
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.44,0:07:12.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for his 26-year-old\Ncollege-educated son from Peshawar.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.40,0:07:13.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.57,0:07:15.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I'm getting out of the taxi,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.25,0:07:20.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he is taking out a passport-sized\Nphotograph with this look of enthusiasm.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.33,0:07:23.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to say, it was a very\Ndifficult goodbye.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.06,0:07:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the moral of the story, really,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.08,0:07:29.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is what starts with a "Hello"\Ncan end with a marriage proposal.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.48,0:07:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that is a warning.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.16,0:07:34.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.02,0:07:35.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Step three.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.46,0:07:38.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Find the "me too"s.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.31,0:07:40.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever met someone
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.91,0:07:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who starts a conversation\Nlike they're starting a debate?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.12,0:07:46.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I am from Delhi."\N"I hate Delhi."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.24,0:07:47.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.86,0:07:51.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah? Nothing kills\Na conversation like a negative.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.73,0:07:53.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you meet someone for the first time
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.70,0:07:55.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make an effort to find the one thing
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.84,0:07:59.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you and that other person\Nmight have in common.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.06,0:08:03.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you start at that point\Nand then move outward from there,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.22,0:08:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you will find that all of a sudden\Nthe conversation becomes a lot easier.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.90,0:08:13.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's because both of you suddenly\Nare on the same side of something.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.70,0:08:17.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's a really powerful feeling.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.39,0:08:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, what could you possibly have\Nin common with a stranger you ask?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.28,0:08:24.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Could be anything, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.72,0:08:27.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're both in the same place\Nat the same time,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.93,0:08:29.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe you're from the same country,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.89,0:08:32.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe you both like the winter
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.31,0:08:34.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or you're longing for it to rain.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.37,0:08:36.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know, you'd find something.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.70,0:08:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you find a "me too,"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.32,0:08:43.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you automatically have a kind of\Nbuy-in from the other person.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.75,0:08:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me, that's helpful.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.37,0:08:49.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pay a unique compliment.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.82,0:08:54.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I read somewhere\Nthat people will forget what you do,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.26,0:08:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they'll forget what you say,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.86,0:08:58.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they will never forget\Nhow you made them feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.52,0:09:01.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So be generous.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.49,0:09:07.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And go out and give someone\Na nice full compliment.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.11,0:09:12.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I have this belief\Nabout a "compliment immunity meter",
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.40,0:09:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it comes from this experience I had
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.68,0:09:17.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I met this gorgeous supermodel.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.07,0:09:18.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I look at her and I say,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.42,0:09:20.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow! You are beautiful!"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.38,0:09:24.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there is no reaction on her face.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.09,0:09:27.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think to myself, "How?"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.40,0:09:28.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's when I realized,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.99,0:09:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she is immune to the word "beautiful."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.16,0:09:34.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's probably heard it\Na hundred thousand times today.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.95,0:09:36.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if she's on social media,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.93,0:09:39.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she's heard it a million times today.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.33,0:09:43.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are some words that each of us\Nhave developed an immunity to.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.49,0:09:47.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It could be "nice," it could be "awesome,"\Nit could be "cool" ...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.37,0:09:49.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stay away from these.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.54,0:09:53.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Try and construct a compliment\Nthat's unique and genuine,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.23,0:09:55.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you don't have to lie.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.68,0:09:56.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.88,0:09:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you look at someone and say,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.85,0:10:00.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love how when you smile,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.91,0:10:03.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's like your nose smiles,\Nand then your eyes smile,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.97,0:10:06.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and your ears smile,\Neven your forehead smiles
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.29,0:10:09.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and suddenly, the whole person\Nis just smiling."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.47,0:10:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.47,0:10:13.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope that's a compliment\Nyou're not going to forget for a while.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.35,0:10:18.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pay a unique and genuine compliment.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.32,0:10:21.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask for an opinion.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.30,0:10:25.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of us have opinions; trust me.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.76,0:10:27.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we all want them to be heard
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.61,0:10:30.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everybody wants validation.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.35,0:10:33.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So go on and ask for an opinion,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.25,0:10:37.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's when you\Nopen up a two-way street.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.26,0:10:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is when the real communication begins,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.06,0:10:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you will be surprised\Nhow much you can pick up about a person
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.38,0:10:47.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just by asking their opinion\Non something pretty generic.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.67,0:10:51.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's a mistake that some people make.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.66,0:10:55.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They ask your opinion\Nabout something really difficult.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.11,0:10:57.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels almost intimidating.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.32,0:11:00.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Somewhere in a room,\Nfull of very well-informed people,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.75,0:11:03.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and someone was to come up to me and say,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.13,0:11:05.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So what do you think about the way
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.58,0:11:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the oil prices have affected\Nthe real estate market in Dubai?"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.84,0:11:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel a bit cornered.\N
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.98,0:11:15.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like I might fail,\Nand this is an examination,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.46,0:11:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's the lesson.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.68,0:11:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody needs to fail\Nat a first-time conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.28,0:11:23.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just ask something simple.\NKeep it generic.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.75,0:11:25.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do you like your coffee?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.11,0:11:28.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When did you watch your last movie?\NWhat did you think of it?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.03,0:11:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when somebody gives you their opinion:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.65,0:11:32.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really listen.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.44,0:11:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't listen to reply. Listen to listen.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.50,0:11:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a difference.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.82,0:11:40.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that brings me to my next point.\N
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.06,0:11:43.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be present.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.81,0:11:46.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know you've been through this.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.34,0:11:47.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know I have.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.36,0:11:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're pouring your heart out to someone,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.52,0:11:50.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they are like this,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.62,0:11:52.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, yeah, go on, keep talking.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.19,0:11:54.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can multitask!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.25,0:11:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's with Wi-Fi?"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.09,0:11:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.18,0:12:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, when someone's trying\Nto communicate with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.80,0:12:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the least you can do\Nis really be in that conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.62,0:12:06.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just be wholeheartedly present,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.88,0:12:09.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just be there.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.88,0:12:13.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And - oh! - my favorite part:\Nmake eye contact.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.78,0:12:18.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me, eye contact\Nis where all the magic happens.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.35,0:12:21.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can feel the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.24,0:12:24.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And trust me, when you\Nare looking at someone in the eye,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.03,0:12:28.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nine out of ten times,\Nthey will not dare look away, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.94,0:12:30.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.38,0:12:34.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, if only I could look\Ninto the eyes of 1.6 million people,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.31,0:12:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would not have to worry about you guys\Ntuning out during the ad breaks.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.48,0:12:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That brings me to this, my favorite point\Nbecause I think it's got a catchy name.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.85,0:12:49.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Name, place, animal, thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.18,0:12:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You remember that game?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.71,0:12:55.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember the little details\Nabout a person.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.16,0:12:57.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember their name.\NIt's so important.\N
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.89,0:13:01.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's awful when you meet someone\Nfor 18th time, and you say,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.27,0:13:06.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You must be Paul, no Peter.\NSomething with the P and it ends with ..."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.76,0:13:12.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's terrible. Remember someone's name\Nand say it back to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.14,0:13:16.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have no idea how important\Nyou're making them feel,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.18,0:13:17.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's not the only detail.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.76,0:13:19.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember all the other details as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.74,0:13:23.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The places they like to go to,\Nthe places they've been to,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.29,0:13:26.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the places they want to go to,\Ntheir pet's names.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.84,0:13:30.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How their pet's been feeling lately?\NThe things they like.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.47,0:13:33.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember their children's names,\Nthat's such a winner.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.48,0:13:36.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember their wife's names,\Ntheir girlfriend's names.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.03,0:13:39.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just don't mix up the last two\Nbecause that could be disastrous.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.08,0:13:41.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.28,0:13:44.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember these little things about people\Nand repeat it back to them,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.66,0:13:47.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ask be genuinely interested,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.27,0:13:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and automatically you kind of\Nbecome an investor in their well-being,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.25,0:13:55.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so they'll feel responsible to you\Nto keep that conversation going.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.99,0:13:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There we go.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.19,0:14:02.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seven amazing ways that you can\Nmake conversation with anyone,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.01,0:14:04.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and seven reasons\Nwhy you should use the break
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.84,0:14:08.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's going to come up to talk\Nto a stranger that you don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.76,0:14:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to end with this analogy.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.40,0:14:17.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A conversation is like reading a book.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.58,0:14:19.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can turn to any page you want.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:20.87,0:14:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can flip to your favorite chapter.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.29,0:14:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can read as long as you want,\Nand you can read what you want,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.43,0:14:32.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and every person, trust me,\Nis a really good book.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.17,0:14:36.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it saddens me so much
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.06,0:14:39.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that entire human lives\Nare being boiled down
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.18,0:14:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to 140 characters and catchy headlines.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.24,0:14:46.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because that's not what we are.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.01,0:14:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are not abridged versions.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.79,0:14:51.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are entire human stories.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.79,0:14:54.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We deserve more from each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.06,0:14:58.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what are you going to do\Nin this big world we call the library?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.05,0:15:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you going to walk around,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.24,0:15:04.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,look at the hard bound copies\Nand read the titles?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.91,0:15:09.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or are you going to actually\Nreach for a book,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.80,0:15:14.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,open a page and start reading a story?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.23,0:15:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You decide.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.48,0:15:18.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.49,0:15:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)