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Afficher la révision 19 créée 05/22/2016 par Mélodie Joyce.

  1. Our main story tonight
  2. is government surveillance.
  3. And I realize most people
  4. would rather have a conversation
  5. about literally any other topic.
  6. Including: 'Is my smartphone
  7. giving me cancer?'
  8. To which the answer is: Probably.
  9. Or: 'Do goldfish suffer from depression?'
  10. To which the answer is:
  11. Yes, but very briefly.
  12. But the fact is:
  13. It is vital
  14. that we have a discussion about this now.
  15. Because an important date
  16. is just around the corner.
  17. One big day to circle on the calendar
  18. when it comes to
  19. a very controversial subject.
  20. The re-authorization of the Patriot Act
  21. and all of the
  22. controversial provisions therein.
  23. June 1 they've got to come to an agreement
  24. to re-authorize
  25. or curtail those programs.
  26. Yes. Some controversial provisions
  27. within the Patriot Act
  28. are set to expire on June 1.
  29. So circle that date
  30. on your calendars, everyone.
  31. And while you're at it:
  32. Circle June 2 as well.
  33. Because that's Justin Long's birthday.
  34. You all forgot last year...
  35. ...and he f*cking noticed.
  36. Now, over the last couple of years
  37. you've probably heard a lot about
  38. strange-sounding programs. Such as:
  39. X-Keyscore, Muscular, Prism, and Mystic.
  40. Which are -coincidentally- also the names
  41. of some of Florida's
  42. least popular stripclubs.
  43. "Welcome to X-Keyscore!"
  44. "Our dancers are fully un-redacted
  45. and Tuesday is wing-night!"
  46. But if you don't mind, I would like
  47. to refresh your memory over some of this.
  48. And let's start our focussing on the most
  49. controversial portion of the Patriot Act
  50. that is up for renewal:
  51. Section 215.
  52. Which, I'm aware, sounds like the name
  53. of an Eastern European boy-band.
  54. "We are Section 215."
  55. "Prepare to have your hearts...
  56. throbbed."
  57. There's the cute one, the bad-boy,
  58. the one who strangled a potato-farmer,
  59. and the one without an iron-deficiency.
  60. They're incredible.
  61. But the content of the real Section 215
  62. is actually even more sinister.
  63. It's called Section 215.
  64. Nicknamed: the library records provision.
  65. Which allows the government to require
  66. businesses to hand over records of any
  67. quote, 'any tangible things'
  68. including: books, records, papers,
  69. documents, and other items.
  70. If that sounds broad, it's because
  71. it was very much written that way.
  72. Section 215 says the government can ask
  73. for 'any tangible things' so long as it's
  74. 'for an investigation to protect
  75. against international terrorism'.
  76. Which is basically a blank cheque.
  77. It's letting a teenager borrow the car
  78. under the strict condition that they
  79. only use it for 'car-related activities'.
  80. "Okay, mom and dad, I'm gonna use this
  81. for a hand-job in a Wendy's parking lot
  82. but that is car-related,
  83. so I think I'm covered."
  84. Section 215 is overseen
  85. by a secret intelligence-court
  86. known as the FISA-court.
  87. And they've interpreted it to mean
  88. the government could basically collect and
  89. store phone-records for every American.
  90. The vast majority of whom, of course
  91. have no connection to terrorism.
  92. Unless, Aunt Cheryl has been gravely
  93. mis-characterizing the activities
  94. of her needle-point club.
  95. "It's a sleeper-cell,
  96. isn't is, Aunt Cheryl?"
  97. "You will hang for this, Aunt Cheryl."
  98. "You're a traitor and a terrible aunt."
  99. "Not in that order."
  100. Now, the government will point out
  101. that under 215, they hold phone-records
  102. and not the calls themselves.
  103. What the intelligence-community is doing
  104. is looking at phone-numbers
  105. and durations of calls
  106. they are not looking at people's names
  107. and they are not looking at content.
  108. Yes, but that's not entirely reassuring.
  109. Because you can extrapolate a lot
  110. from that information.
  111. If they knew that you'd called your ex
  112. 12 times last night, between 1 and 4 AM
  113. for a duration of 15 minutes each time
  114. they can be fairly sure that you left
  115. some pretty pathetic voice-mails.
  116. "I don't care whose monitoring
  117. this call, Vicky."
  118. "We should be together!"
  119. Pick up the phone, dammit!
  120. I'm a human being, not an animal!"
  121. Now, the Patriot-act was written
  122. just after 9-11.
  123. And for years it was extended
  124. and re-authorized
  125. with barely a passing thought.
  126. In fact, it became so routine
  127. that when it was extended in 2011
  128. one newscast just tacked it
  129. onto the end of a report
  130. about a Presidential trip abroad.
  131. Chip Reid. CBS-news.
  132. Travelling with the President
  133. in Deauville, France.
  134. Also in France, by the way
  135. President Obama signed in a law
  136. 4-year extension
  137. of the terrorism fighting Patriot-Act.
  138. Also in France, by the way?
  139. By the way?
  140. He threw that in
  141. like a mother telling her grown daughter
  142. that her childhood pet just died.
  143. "Oh, nice talking to you, sweety.
  144. Also, by the way, Mr. Peppers is dead.
  145. See you at Christmas." BANG
  146. But all of that was before the public
  147. was made aware of what the government's
  148. capabilities actually were.
  149. 'Cause that all ended in June of 2013.
  150. Edward Snowden has just taken
  151. responsibility for one of the
  152. biggest government leaks in US history.
  153. We learned that the government has
  154. the capacity to track
  155. virtually every American phone-call
  156. and to scoop up impossibly vast
  157. quantities of data across the internet.
  158. Revelations that the NSA eavesdropped
  159. on world leaders.
  160. If you've ever been to the Bahamas
  161. the NSA could've recorded your phone-calls
  162. and stored them for up to a month.
  163. All that information was exposed
  164. by Edward Snowden.
  165. And it is still kind of incredible
  166. that a 29-year-old contractor
  167. was able to steal top-secret documents
  168. from an organization
  169. that LITERALLY has the word 'security'
  170. in it's name.
  171. Clearly, that was not great for them.
  172. The only place where it should be THAT
  173. easy for employees in their 20ies to steal
  174. is a Lid store.
  175. "Dude, you sure I should take this?"
  176. "Relax, dude, it's a Miami Marlins-cap,
  177. we're not exactly selling
  178. Fabergé eggs here."
  179. It is still unclear
  180. exactly how many documents
  181. Edward Snowden stole.
  182. Although he's consistently tried
  183. to re-assure people
  184. that he put them in good hands.
  185. Honestly, I don't want to be the person
  186. making the decisions on what should
  187. be public and what shouldn't.
  188. Which is why
  189. rather than publishing these on my own
  190. or putting them out openly
  191. I'm running them through journalists.
  192. Well, that sounds great.
  193. But of course it's not a fail-safe plan.
  194. As was proven when the New York Times
  195. published this slide
  196. but did such a sloppy job
  197. of blocking out redacted information
  198. that some people were able to read
  199. the information behind that black bar
  200. which concerned how the US was monitoring
  201. Al Qaida in Mosul.
  202. A group now known as ISIS.
  203. So essentially a national security secret
  204. was leaked because no-one at the Times
  205. knows how to use Microsoft Paint.
  206. And look, you can think
  207. that Snowden did the wrong thing.
  208. Or did it in the wrong way.
  209. But the fact is:
  210. we have this information now
  211. and we no longer get the luxury
  212. of pleading ignorance.
  213. It's like you can't go to Sea World
  214. and pretend that Shamu's happy, anymore.
  215. When we now know
  216. at least half the water in her tank
  217. is whale-tears.
  218. We know that now.
  219. You can't un-know that information.
  220. So you have to bear that in mind.
  221. But here's the thing:
  222. It's now 2 years later
  223. and it seems like we've kind of forgotten
  224. to have a debate
  225. over the content of what Snowden leaked.
  226. A recent Pew-report found that nearly
  227. half of Americans say that they're
  228. 'not very concerned'
  229. or 'not at all concerned'
  230. about government surveillance.
  231. Which is fine.
  232. If that's an informed opinion.
  233. But I'm not sure that it is.
  234. Because we actually sent a camera-crew to
  235. Times Square to ask some random passers by
  236. who Edward Snowden was and what he did.
  237. And there are the responses that we got.
  238. I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.
  239. Have no idea who Edward Snowden is.
  240. I've heard the name, I just can't picture
  241. think... right now exactly what it is.
  242. Edward Snowden...
  243. No. I do not.
  244. Just for the record:
  245. that wasn't cherry picking.
  246. That was entirely reflective
  247. of everyone we spoke to.
  248. Although, to be fair:
  249. some people did remember his name
  250. they just couldn't remember why.
  251. He sold some information to people.
  252. He revealed some information
  253. that shouldn't have been revealed.
  254. I think from what I remember is
  255. the information that he shared was
  256. detrimental to our military secrets?
  257. And keeping our soldiers and our country
  258. safe?
  259. He leaked documents what the US Army's
  260. operations in Iraq.
  261. Edward Snowden revealed a bunch of
  262. of secrets, I guess, or information
  263. into Wiki... Wikileaks?
  264. Edward Snowden leaked...
  265. Ah, he's in charge of Wikileaks?
  266. Edward Snowden revealed a lot of
  267. documents through Wikileaks...?
  268. Okay, so here's the thing:
  269. Edward Snowden is NOT the Wikileaks guy.
  270. The Wikileaks guy is Julian Assange.
  271. And you do not want
  272. to be confused with him.
  273. Partly because he was far less careful
  274. than Snowden in what he released and how.
  275. And partly because he resembles
  276. a sandwich-bag full of biscuit-dough
  277. wearing a Stevie Nicks-wig.
  278. And that is, that is ciritical.
  279. Julian Assange is not a like-able man.
  280. Even Benedict Cumberbatch could not
  281. make him like-able.
  282. He's un-Cumberbatch-able.
  283. That was supposed to be
  284. physically impossible.
  285. But I don't blame people
  286. for being confused.
  287. We've been looking at this story
  288. for the last 2 weeks
  289. and it is hard to get your head around.
  290. Not just because there are so many
  291. complicated programs to keep track of
  292. but also because
  293. there are no easy answers here.
  294. We all naturally want perfect privacy
  295. and perfect safety.
  296. But those 2 things cannot coexist.
  297. It's like how you can't have
  298. a badass pet falcon...
  299. and an adorable pet vole named Herbert.
  300. Either you have to lose one of them
  301. -which obviously you don't want to do-
  302. or you have to accept some
  303. reasonable restrictions on both of them.
  304. Now to be fair, the NSA will argue
  305. that just because they CAN do something
  306. doesn't mean they DO do it.
  307. And, that there are restrictions
  308. on their operations
  309. such as the FISA-court
  310. which must approve requests
  311. for foreign surveillance.
  312. But.
  313. In 34 years, that court has approved
  314. over 35000 applications
  315. and only rejected 12.
  316. Yes. Much like Robert Durst's second wife.
  317. The FISA-court is alarmingly accepting.
  318. "Listen, Robert, I'm not
  319. gonna ask you too many questions."
  320. I'm just gonna give you the benefit of
  321. a doubt that you clearly don't deserve."
  322. At least tell him to blink and burp less.
  323. The burping might be the most troubling
  324. thing about that show.
  325. So maybe it's time for us to talk.
  326. About where the limits should be.
  327. And the best place to start would be
  328. Section 215.
  329. Not just because it's the easiest
  330. to understand
  331. but there is wide-spread agreement
  332. it needs to be reformed.
  333. From the President, to Ted Cruz,
  334. to both the ACLU and the NRA,
  335. to even the guy
  336. who wrote the thing in the first place.
  337. I was the principal author
  338. of the Patriot Act.
  339. I can say, that without qualification
  340. Congress never did intend to allow
  341. bulk-collections
  342. when it passed Section 215.
  343. And no fair reading of the text
  344. would allow for this program.
  345. Think about that.
  346. He was the author.
  347. That's the legislative equivalent
  348. of Lewis Carroll
  349. seeing the tea-cups ride at Disney Land
  350. and saying:
  351. "This has got to be reined in."
  352. "No fair reading of my text
  353. would allow for this ride."
  354. "You've turned my perfectly nice tale
  355. of psychedelic paedofilia
  356. into a garish vomitorium."
  357. "This is not what I wanted!"
  358. And even the NSA has said
  359. that the number of terror-plots in the US
  360. that the Section 215
  361. telephone-records program has disrupted...
  362. ...is 1.
  363. And it's worth noting:
  364. that one particular plot
  365. involved a cabdriver in San Diego
  366. who gave $8500 to a terror-group.
  367. And that is the shittiest terrorist-plot
  368. I've ever seen.
  369. Other than the plot of
  370. A Good Day To Die Hard.
  371. But here's the big problem here:
  372. If we let Section 215 get renewed
  373. in it's current form
  374. without serious public debate
  375. we're in trouble.
  376. Because Section 215
  377. is the canary in the coal-mine.
  378. If we cannot fix that
  379. we're not gonna fix any of them.
  380. And the public debate so far
  381. has been absolutely pathetic.
  382. A year ago
  383. a former congresswoman was
  384. discussing the 215 program on the news.
  385. Watch wat happened.
  386. This vast collection of data
  387. is not that useful
  388. and infringes substantially
  389. on personal privacy.
  390. I think at this point we should
  391. seriously consider not continuing...
  392. Congress woman Harman, let me interrupt..
  393. Let me interrupt you just for a moment.
  394. We've got some breaking news out of Miami.
  395. Stand by if you will.
  396. Right now in Miami
  397. Justin Bieber
  398. has been arrested on a number of charges.
  399. The judge is reading the charges
  400. including resisting arrest
  401. and driving under the influence.
  402. He's appearing now before the judge for
  403. his bond-hearing. Let's watch.
  404. Actually, you know what?
  405. Bad news, we're gonna have to interrupt
  406. your interruption of the Bieber news
  407. for a new interruption.
  408. This time featuring a YouTube video of
  409. a tortoise having sex with a plastic clog.
  410. Let's watch.
  411. HEEH
  412. HEEH
  413. HEH
  414. That. Is essentially the current tone
  415. of this vitally important debate.
  416. HEEEH
  417. And again:
  418. I'm not saying
  419. this is an easy conversation.
  420. But we have to have it.
  421. I know this is confusing.
  422. And unfortunately the most
  423. obvious person to talk to
  424. about this is Edward Snowden.
  425. But he currently lives in Russia. Meaning:
  426. If you wanted to ask him about any
  427. of these issues, you'd have to fly
  428. all the way there to do it.
  429. And it is not a pleasant flight.
  430. And the reason I know that...
  431. ...is that last week, I went to Russia
  432. to speak to Edward Snowden.
  433. And this is what happened.
  434. Yes, last week I spent 48 paranoid hours
  435. in Moscow.
  436. Arguably the last place on earth
  437. where you can find
  438. an overweight Josef Stalin impersonator
  439. arguing with an unconvincing fake Lenin.
  440. And after experiencing
  441. Russia's famously warm hospitality
  442. I went to meet Edward Snowden.
  443. Who is supposed to show up in this room
  444. at noon.
  445. However, after 5 minutes after
  446. the interview was scheduled to begin
  447. I had a troubling thought.
  448. I don't know.
  449. Do you think he's coming?
  450. Yeah, he's coming.
  451. 'Cause my argument is:
  452. Why would he?
  453. When you think about it.
  454. I got 2000 roebels
  455. that says he doesn't make it.
  456. Without understanding how much that is.
  457. All I'm saying is...
  458. ...a 10-hour flight for an empty chair?
  459. I'm gonna lose my shit.
  460. It turns out it may be a bit of a problem
  461. because our Russian producer
  462. booked us in a room directly overlooking
  463. the old KGB-building.
  464. And the home
  465. of the current Federal Security Bureau.
  466. And we've just been told...
  467. ...they know we're here.
  468. So uhm...
  469. So that happened.
  470. Uhm, just if the Russian...
  471. ...Russian KGB is listening:
  472. We'll ring the fire-alarm
  473. if he's not coming.
  474. Oh shit.
  475. Oh God.
  476. So sorry for the delay.
  477. It's fine, don't worry about it.
  478. HOLY SHIT.
  479. He actually came.
  480. Edward f*cking Snowden.
  481. The most famous hero and/or traitor
  482. in recent American history!
  483. And I've started with a question
  484. designed to test his loyalties.
  485. How much do you miss America?
  486. You know, my country is something
  487. that travels with me, you know.
  488. It's not just a geogra...
  489. That's a way too complicated answer.
  490. The answer is: I miss it a lot.
  491. it's the greatest country in the world.
  492. I do miss my country.
  493. I do miss my home.
  494. I do miss my family.
  495. Do you miss hot pockets?
  496. Yes.
  497. I miss hot pockets. Very much.
  498. Okay. The entire state of Florida?
  499. Let's just let that silence
  500. hang in the air.
  501. Truck Nuts?
  502. Do you miss Truck Nuts?
  503. I don't know what they are.
  504. Lucky for you, Edward...
  505. Not just Truck Nuts.
  506. Stars and stripes Truck Nuts.
  507. That is 2 balls of liberty
  508. in a freedom sack.
  509. You really thought ahead.
  510. Well, at least one of us did.
  511. You know, 'cause of the... uhm...
  512. the quandary... the...
  513. ...Kafka-esque nightmare that you're in.
  514. Okay. Let's dive in.
  515. Why did you do this?
  516. The NSA has
  517. the greatest surveillance capabilities
  518. that we've ever seen in history.
  519. Now, what they will argue
  520. is that they don't use this
  521. for nefarious purposes
  522. against American citizens.
  523. In some ways that's true.
  524. But the real problem is that
  525. they're using these capabilities
  526. to make us vulnerable to them
  527. and then saying:
  528. "While I have a gun pointed at your head
  529. I'm not gonna pull the trigger."
  530. "Trust me."
  531. So, what does the NSA you want look like?
  532. Because you applied for a job at the NSA.
  533. So you clearly see an inherent value
  534. in that shadowy organization.
  535. I worked with mass-surveillance systems
  536. against Chinese hackers.
  537. I saw that, you know
  538. these things do have some purpose.
  539. And you want your spies
  540. to be good at spying.
  541. To be fair.
  542. Right.
  543. What you don't want is
  544. you don't want them spying inside
  545. their own country.
  546. Spies are great when they're on our side.
  547. But we can never forget
  548. that they're incredibly powerful
  549. and incredibly dangerous.
  550. And if they're off the leash...
  551. ...they can end up coming after us.
  552. Well just to be clear we're talking about
  553. 2 different things here
  554. Domestic surveillance
  555. and foreign surveillance.
  556. 'Cause domestic surveillance
  557. Americans give some of a shit about.
  558. Foreign surveillance...
  559. ...they don't give any remote shit about.
  560. Well the second question is:
  561. When we talk about foreign surveillance
  562. are we applying it in ways that are
  563. beneficial...
  564. No-one cares.
  565. In terms...
  566. They don't give a shit.
  567. We spied on UNICEF, the children's fund.
  568. Sure.
  569. We spied on lawyers negotiating...
  570. What was UNICEF doing?
  571. I mean:
  572. That's the question there, isn't it?
  573. The question is:
  574. Are these projects valuable?
  575. Are we going to be safer when we're spying
  576. on UNICEF and lawyers who are talking about
  577. the price of shrimp and clove cigarettes.
  578. I don't think people say that's good.
  579. I think they'll say:
  580. I definitely don't care.
  581. Americans do not give a shit.
  582. I think you're right.
  583. About foreign surveillance.
  584. What some people do care about
  585. is whether Snowden considered
  586. the adverse consequences of leaking
  587. so much information at once.
  588. How many of those documents
  589. have you actually read?
  590. I've evaluated all the documents
  591. that are in the archive.
  592. You've read every single one?
  593. I do understand what I've turned over.
  594. But there's a difference between
  595. understanding what's in the documents
  596. and reading what's in the documents.
  597. I recognized the concern.
  598. 'Cause when you're handing over
  599. thousands of NSA documents the last
  600. thing you want to do is read them.
  601. I think it's fair to be concerned about
  602. 'did this person do enough?'
  603. 'were they careful enough?'
  604. Especially when you're handling material
  605. like we know you are handling.
  606. Well, in my defense:
  607. I'm not handling anything anymore.
  608. That's been passed to the journalists
  609. and they're using extraordinary
  610. security measures to make sure that this
  611. is reported in the most responsible way.
  612. But, those are journalists
  613. with a lower technical skill-set than you.
  614. That's true. But they DO understand
  615. -just like you and I do-
  616. just HOW important it is
  617. to get this right.
  618. So the New York Times took a slide
  619. didn't redact it properly...
  620. ...and
  621. In the end it was possible
  622. for people to see that something
  623. was being used in Mosul.
  624. On Al Qaida.
  625. That is a problem.
  626. Well, that's a f*ck-up.
  627. It is a f*ck-up.
  628. And these things do happen in reporting.
  629. In journalism we have to accept
  630. that some mistakes will be made.
  631. This is a fundamental concept of liberty.
  632. Right.
  633. But you have to own that then.
  634. You're giving documents with information
  635. you know could be harmful
  636. which could get out there.
  637. Yes.
  638. If people act in bad faith.
  639. Not even bad faith, but incompetence.
  640. We are.
  641. But you will never be
  642. completely free from risk, if you're free.
  643. The only time you can be
  644. free from risk is when you're in prison.
  645. While the risks were significant
  646. Snowden himself has made it clear
  647. he feels the rewards have been worth it.
  648. You've said in you letters to Brasil:
  649. "I was motivated by a believe that
  650. citizens deserve to understand
  651. the system in which they live."
  652. "My greatest fear was that
  653. no-one would listen to my warning."
  654. "Never have I been so glad
  655. to have been so wrong."
  656. How did that feel?
  657. I was initially terrified that this
  658. was going to be a 3-day story.
  659. Everybody was going to forget about it.
  660. But when I saw that
  661. everybody around the world said:
  662. "Wow, this is a problem."
  663. "We have to do something about this."
  664. It felt like vindication.
  665. Even in America?
  666. Even in America.
  667. And I think we're seeing something amazing
  668. which is if you ask... the American people
  669. to make tough decisions
  670. to confront tough issues
  671. to think about hard problems...
  672. ...they'll actually surprise you.
  673. Okay.
  674. Here's the problem:
  675. I did ask some Americans.
  676. And, boy did it surprise me.
  677. I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.
  678. You've never heard of Edward Snowden?
  679. No.
  680. I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.
  681. I've heard the name
  682. I just can't picture... think right now
  683. exactly what it is.
  684. Well, he's... uhm...
  685. He sold some information to people.
  686. He revealed some information
  687. that shouldn't have been revealed.
  688. Edward Snowden revealed a lot of documents
  689. through Wikileaks.
  690. Edward Snowden revealed a bunch of
  691. secrets, I guess...
  692. or information into Wikileaks.
  693. Edward Snowden leaked... uhm...
  694. he's in charge of Wikileaks.
  695. I'm in charge of Wikileaks.
  696. Not ideal.
  697. I guess, on the plus side:
  698. You might be able to go home.
  699. 'Cause it seems like no-one knows
  700. who the f*ck you are or what you did
  701. We can't expect everybody to be uniformly
  702. informed.
  703. So, did you do this to solve a problem?
  704. I did this to give the American people
  705. a chance to decide for themselves
  706. the kind of government they want to have.
  707. That is a conversation that I think that
  708. the American people deserve to decide.
  709. There is no doubt that it is
  710. a critical conversation.
  711. But is it a conversation that we have
  712. the capacity to have?
  713. Because it's so complicated.
  714. We don't fundamentally understand it.
  715. It is a challenging conversation.
  716. It's difficult for most people
  717. to even conceptualize.
  718. The problem is
  719. the internet is massively complex
  720. and so much of it is invisible.
  721. Service providers, technicians, engineers,
  722. the phonenumber....
  723. Let me stop you right there, Edward.
  724. 'Cause this is the whole problem.
  725. Right.
  726. This is the whole problem.
  727. I glaze over.
  728. It's like the IT-guy comes to your office
  729. and you go: "Oooh shit".
  730. In fairness...
  731. "Ooh shit, don't teach me anything."
  732. "I don't want to learn."
  733. "You smell like canned soup."
  734. It's a real challenge to figure out
  735. how do we communicate
  736. things that require sort of years and years
  737. of technical understanding.
  738. And compress that into seconds of speech.
  739. So, I'm sympathetic to the problem there.
  740. But the thing is
  741. everything you did only matters
  742. if we have this conversation properly.
  743. So let me help you out there.
  744. You mentioned in an interview
  745. that the NSA was passing around
  746. naked photo's of people.
  747. Yeah. This is something where it's...
  748. it's not actually seen as a big deal.
  749. In the culture of NSA.
  750. Because you see naked pictures
  751. all of the time.
  752. That.
  753. Terrifies people.
  754. 'Cause when we asked people about THAT...
  755. ...this is the response you get.
  756. The government should not be able
  757. to look at dick-pictures.
  758. If the government was looking at
  759. a picture of Gordon's penis
  760. I definitely feel it would be an invasion
  761. of my privacy.
  762. Ah, yeah, if the government was looking at
  763. pictures of my penis, that would upset me.
  764. They should never, ever
  765. the US government have a picture
  766. of my dick.
  767. If my husband sent me
  768. a picture of his penis
  769. and the government could access it
  770. I would want that program to be shut down.
  771. I would want the Dick-pic Program changed.
  772. I would also want the Dick-pic program
  773. changed.
  774. It would be terrific if the program
  775. could change.
  776. I would want it to be tweeked
  777. I would want it to have clear and
  778. transparent laws that we knew about.
  779. And that were communicated to us.
  780. To understand what they're being used for.
  781. Or why the were being kept.
  782. Do you think that program exists?
  783. I don't think that program exists at all.
  784. No.
  785. If I had knowledge that the US government
  786. had a picture of my dick...
  787. ...I would be very pissed off.
  788. Well...
  789. The good news is that there's no
  790. program named 'the Dick-pic Program'.
  791. The bad news is that they are still
  792. collecting everybody's information.
  793. Including your dick-pics.
  794. What's the over/under on that last guy
  795. having sent a dick-pic recently?
  796. You don't need to guess, I'll show you.
  797. I did.
  798. I did take a picture of my... dick.
  799. And I sent it to a girl. Recently.
  800. This is the most visible
  801. line in the sand for people.
  802. "Can they see my dick?"
  803. So, with that in mind...
  804. look inside that folder.
  805. That.
  806. Is a picture of my dick.
  807. So let's go through each NSA program
  808. and explain to me it's capabilities
  809. in regards to that photograph...
  810. ...of my penis.
  811. 702 Surveillance: can they see my dick?
  812. Yes.
  813. The FISA-amendment act of 2008
  814. which Section 702 falls under
  815. allows the bulk-collection
  816. of internet communications that are
  817. one-end foreign.
  818. Bulk-collection:
  819. Now we're talking about my dick.
  820. You get it.
  821. It's not what...
  822. You get it though, right?
  823. I do.
  824. Because it's... it's... yeah, anyway.
  825. So, if you have you're email somewhere
  826. like G-mail, hosted on a server overseas
  827. or transferred over seas
  828. or it any time crosses outside the borders
  829. of the United States...
  830. ...you're junk ends up in the database.
  831. So it doesn't have to be
  832. sending your dick to a German?
  833. No.
  834. Even if you sent it to somebody
  835. within the United States
  836. your wholly domestic communication
  837. between you and your wife
  838. can go from New York...
  839. to London and back.
  840. And get caught up in the database.
  841. Executive Order 12-333: Dick or no dick?
  842. Yes.
  843. EO 12-333 is what the NSA uses when the
  844. other authorities aren't aggressive enough
  845. or not catching as much as they'd like.
  846. For example:
  847. How are they gonna see my dick?
  848. I'm only concerned about my penis.
  849. When you send your junk
  850. through G-mail, for example.
  851. That's stored on Google's servers.
  852. Google moves data.
  853. from datacenter to datacenter.
  854. Invisibly to you.
  855. Without your knowledge...
  856. your data could be moved outside
  857. the borders of the United States.
  858. Oh no.
  859. Temporarily.
  860. When your junk was passed by G-mail
  861. the NSA caught a copy of that.
  862. Prism.
  863. Prism is how they pull your junk
  864. out of Google, with Google's involvement.
  865. All of the different Prism partners
  866. people like Yahoo, Facebook, Google.
  867. The government deputizes them, to be...
  868. sort of their little surveillance sheriff.
  869. They're a dick-sheriff.
  870. Correct.
  871. Uhm, Upstream?
  872. Upstream is how they snatch your junk
  873. as it transits the internet.
  874. Okay. Mystic.
  875. If you're describing your junk
  876. on the phone?
  877. Yes.
  878. But do they have the content
  879. of that junk-call
  880. or just the duration of it?
  881. They have the content as well
  882. but only for a few countries.
  883. If you are on vacation in the Bahamas?
  884. Yes.
  885. Finally. And you need to remind yourself...
  886. No, I'm just not sure...
  887. what to do with this.
  888. Just hold on to it.
  889. It's a lot of responsibility.
  890. Yeah. It is a lot of responsibility.
  891. That's the whole point.
  892. Should I...?
  893. No, you should absolutely not.
  894. And it's unbelievable
  895. that you would do that.
  896. Actually, it's entirely believable.
  897. 215 Meta-data?
  898. No.
  899. Good.
  900. But...
  901. Come on, Ed.
  902. They can probably tell who you're sharing
  903. your junk pictures with.
  904. Because they're seeing
  905. who you're texting with
  906. who you're calling.
  907. If you call
  908. the penis enlargement centre at 3 AM
  909. and that call lasted 90 minutes?
  910. They would have a record
  911. of YOUR phone-number
  912. calling THAT phone-number.
  913. (Which is a penis enlargement center).
  914. They would say they don't know
  915. it's penis enlargement center
  916. but of course they can look it up.
  917. Edward, if the American people
  918. understood this...
  919. ...they would be absolutely horrified.
  920. I guess I never thought about putting it
  921. in the...
  922. ...in the context of your junk.
  923. Would a good take-away from this be:
  924. 'Until such time as we've sorted
  925. all of this out...
  926. ...don't take pictures of your dick'.
  927. Just don't do it anymore.
  928. No. If we do that.
  929. Wait, hold on, you're saying 'no'?
  930. Yeah.
  931. You should keep
  932. taking pictures of your dick?
  933. Yes. You shouldn't change your behavior
  934. because of a government agency somehwere
  935. is doing the wrong thing.
  936. If we sacrifice our values
  937. because we're afraid, we don't care
  938. about those values very much.
  939. That is a pretty inspiring answer
  940. to the question:
  941. "Hey, why did you just send me
  942. a picture of your dick?"
  943. "Because I love America, that's why."
  944. So there you have it, America.
  945. All of us should now be equipped
  946. to have this vital debate.
  947. Because by June 1
  948. it is imperative we have a rational
  949. adult conversation
  950. about whether our safety is worth
  951. living in a country of barely regulated
  952. government-sanctioned dick-sheriffs.
  953. And with my work here done
  954. there was just time to take care of
  955. one more thing.
  956. Finally, congratulations on Citizenfour
  957. winning the Oscar.
  958. I know you couldn't be at the ceremony
  959. for obvious reasons, so...
  960. I thought we'd celebrate ourselves.
  961. Cheers.
  962. Wow, that's...
  963. ...that's really, really something.
  964. Thank you.
  965. You're welcome.
  966. What's the over/under on me
  967. getting home safely?
  968. Well, if you weren't on the list before
  969. you are now.
  970. Is that like, uhm...
  971. Is that like a f... is that like a...
  972. ...joke? Or is that actually possible?
  973. No, it's... it's a real thing.
  974. You're associated now.
  975. Okay.
  976. Just to be clear, NSA:
  977. I never met this guy
  978. so take me off you're f*cking list.
  979. I DO NOT want to get stuck in Russia.
  980. I want to go home I want to go home
  981. Now, just for the record.
  982. Just so you know.
  983. We got in touch with the NSA,
  984. the National Security Council,
  985. and the White House.
  986. And we asked them to comment
  987. on the dick-pick capabilities
  988. of each of the programs Edward Snowden
  989. just discussed.
  990. Which -incidentally- were some very fun
  991. emails to write to government agencies.
  992. They didn't wish to comment on the record.
  993. And I can see why
  994. for every possible reason.