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← Tim Minchin's Storm the Animated Movie

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Afficher la révision 5 créée 11/16/2016 par Maggie S (Amara staff).

  1. Inner North London, top floor flat

  2. All white walls, white carpet, white cat,
  3. Rice Paper partitions,
  4. Modern art and ambition
  5. The host’s a physician,
  6. Bright bloke, has his own practice
  7. His girlfriend’s an actress
  8. An old mate of ours from home
  9. And they’re always great fun.
  10. So to dinner we’ve come.
  11. The 5th guest is an unknown,
  12. The hosts have just thrown us together for a favor
  13. 'cause this girl’s just arrived from Australia
  14. And she's moved to North London
  15. And she’s the sister of someone
  16. Or has some connection.
  17. As we make introductions
  18. I’m struck by her beauty
  19. She’s irrefutably fair
  20. With dark eyes and dark hair
  21. But as she sits
  22. I admit I’m a little bit wary
  23. because I notice the tip of the wing of a fairy
  24. Tattooed on that popular area
  25. Just above the derrière
  26. And when she says “I’m Sagittarien”
  27. I confess a pigeonhole starts to form
  28. And is immediately filled with pigeon
  29. When she says her name is Storm.
  30. Conversation is initially bright and light hearted
  31. But it’s not long before Storm gets started:
  32. “You can’t know anything,
  33. Knowledge is merely opinion”
  34. She opines, over her Cabernet Sauvignon
  35. Vis a vis
  36. Some unhippily
  37. Empirical comment made by me
  38. “Not a good start” I think
  39. We’re only on pre-dinner drinks
  40. And across the room, my wife
  41. Widens her eyes
  42. Silently begs me: Be Nice!
  43. A matrimonial warning
  44. Not worth ignoring
  45. So I resist the urge to ask Storm
  46. Whether knowledge is so loose-weave
  47. Of a morning
  48. When deciding whether to leave
  49. Her apartment by the front door
  50. Or a window on her second floor.
  51. The food is delicious and Storm,
  52. Whilst avoiding all meat
  53. Happily sits and eats
  54. As the good doctor, slightly pissedly
  55. Holds court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history
  56. When Storm suddenly insists
  57. “But the human body is a mystery!
  58. Science just falls in a hole
  59. When it tries to explain the the nature of the soul.”
  60. My hostess throws me a glance
  61. She, like my wife, knows there’s a chance
  62. I’ll be off on one of my rare, but fun, rants
  63. But I shan't. My lips are sealed.
  64. I just want to enjoy the meal
  65. And although Storm is starting to get my goat
  66. I have no intention of rocking the boat,
  67. Although it’s becoming a bit of a wrestle
  68. Because -- like her meteorological namesake -
  69. Storm has no such concerns for our vessel.
  70. “Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy
  71. They promote drug dependency
  72. At the cost of the natural remedies
  73. That are all our bodies need
  74. They are immoral and driven by greed.
  75. Why take drugs
  76. When herbs can solve it?
  77. Why use chemicals
  78. When homeopathic solvents
  79. Can resolve it?
  80. It’s time we all return to live
  81. With natural medical alternatives.”
  82. And try as I like,
  83. A small crack appears
  84. In my diplomacy-dike.
  85. “By definition”, I begin
  86. “Alternative Medicine”, I continue
  87. “Has either not been proved to work,
  88. Or been proved not to work.
  89. Do you know what they call “alternative medicine”
  90. That’s been proved to work?
  91. Medicine.”
  92. “So you don’t believe
  93. In ANY Natural remedies?”
  94. “On the contrary, Storm.
  95. Actually, before we came to tea,
  96. I took a remedy
  97. Derived from the bark of a willow tree
  98. A painkiller that’s virtually side-effect free
  99. It’s got a weird name,
  100. Darling, what was it again?
  101. Masprin?
  102. Basprin?
  103. Oh, yes. Asprin!
  104. Which I paid about a buck for
  105. Down at the local drugstore.
  106. The debate briefly abates
  107. As our hosts collects plates
  108. but as they return with desserts
  109. Storm pertly asserts,
  110. “Shakespeare said it first:
  111. There are more things in heaven and earth
  112. Than exist in your philosophy…
  113. Science is just how we’re trained to look at reality,
  114. It doesn't explain love or spirituality.
  115. How does science explain psychics?
  116. Auras; the afterlife; the power of prayer?”
  117. I’m becoming aware
  118. That I’m staring,
  119. I’m like a rabbit suddenly trapped
  120. In the blinding headlights of vacuous crap.
  121. Maybe it’s the Hamlet she just misquothed
  122. Or the eighth glass of wine I just quaffed
  123. But my diplomacy dike groans
  124. And the arsehole held back by its stones
  125. Can be held back no more:
  126. “Look , Storm, I don’t mean to bore ya
  127. But there’s no such thing as an aura!
  128. Reading Auras is like reading minds
  129. Or tea-leaves or star-signs or meridian lines
  130. These people aren’t plying a skill,
  131. They are either lying or mentally ill.
  132. Same goes for people who claim they can hear God’s demands
  133. Or spiritual healers who think they've got magic hands.
  134. By the way,
  135. Why do we think it's OK
  136. For people to pretend they can talk to the dead?
  137. Isn't that totally fucked in the head?
  138. Lying to some crying woman whose child has died
  139. And telling her you’re in touch with the other side?
  140. I think that’s just fundamentally sick
  141. Do we need to clarify here that there’s no such thing as a psychic?
  142. What, are we fucking 2?
  143. Do we actually think that Horton Heard a Who?
  144. Do we still believe that Santa brings us gifts?
  145. That Michael Jackson didn't have face lifts?
  146. Are we still so stunned by circus tricks
  147. That we think that the dead would
  148. Wanna talk to pricks
  149. Like John Edwards?
  150. Storm to her credit despite my derision
  151. Keeps firing off clichés with startling precision
  152. Like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition
  153. “You’re so sure of your position
  154. But you’re just closed-minded
  155. I think you’ll find
  156. That your faith in science and tests
  157. Is just as blind
  158. As the faith of any fundamentalist”
  159. “Wow, that’s a good point, let me think for a bit
  160. Oh wait, my mistake, that’s absolute bullshit.
  161. Science adjusts it’s views based on what’s observed
  162. Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved.
  163. If you show me
  164. That, say, homeopathy works,
  165. Then I will change my mind
  166. I’ll spin on a fucking dime
  167. I’ll be as embarrassed as hell,
  168. But I will run through the streets yelling
  169. It’s a miracle! Take physics and bin it!
  170. Water has memory!
  171. And while it’s memory of a long lost drop of onion juice is Infinite
  172. It somehow forgets all the poo it’s had in it!
  173. You show me that it works and how it works
  174. And when I’ve recovered from the shock
  175. I will take a compass and carve Fancy That on the side of my cock.”
  176. Everyone's just staring now,
  177. But I’m pretty pissed and I’ve dug this far down,
  178. So I figure, in for penny, in for a pound:
  179. “Life is full of mysteries, yeah
  180. But there are answers out there
  181. And they won’t be found
  182. By people sitting around
  183. Looking serious
  184. And saying isn’t life mysterious?
  185. Let’s sit here and hope
  186. Let’s call up the fucking Pope
  187. Let’s go watch Oprah
  188. Interview Deepak Chopra
  189. If you’re going to watch telly, you should watch Scooby Doo.
  190. That show was so cool
  191. because every time there’s a church with a ghoul
  192. Or a ghost in a school
  193. They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
  194. The fucking janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide.
  195. Because throughout history
  196. Every mystery
  197. Ever solved has turned out to be
  198. Not Magic.
  199. Does the idea that there might be knowledge
  200. Frighten you?
  201. Does the idea that one afternoon
  202. On Wiki-fucking-pedia might enlighten you
  203. Frighten you?
  204. Does the notion that there may not be a supernatural
  205. So blow your hippy noodle
  206. That you would rather just stand in the fog
  207. Of your inability to Google?
  208. Isn’t this enough?
  209. Just this world?
  210. Just this beautiful, complex
  211. Wonderfully unfathomable, natural world?
  212. How does it so fail to hold our attention
  213. That we have to diminish it with the invention
  214. Of cheap, man-made Myths and Monsters?
  215. If you’re so into Shakespeare
  216. Lend me your ear:
  217. “To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
  218. To throw perfume on the violet… is just fucking silly”
  219. Or something like that.
  220. Or what about Satchmo?!
  221. I see trees of green,
  222. Red roses too,
  223. And fine, if you wish to
  224. Glorify Krishna and Vishnu
  225. In a post-colonial, condescending
  226. Bottled-up and labeled kind of way
  227. Then whatever, that’s ok.
  228. But here’s what gives me a hard-on:
  229. I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant bit of carbon.
  230. I have one life, and it is short
  231. And unimportant…
  232. But thanks to recent scientific advances
  233. I get to live twice as long as my great great great great uncleses and auntses.
  234. Twice as long to live this life of mine
  235. Twice as long to love this wife of mine
  236. Twice as many years of friends and wine
  237. Of sharing curries and getting shitty
  238. With good-looking hippies
  239. With fairies on their spines
  240. And butterflies on their titties.
  241. And if perchance I have offended
  242. Think but this and all is mended:
  243. We’d as well be 10 minutes back in time,
  244. For all the chance you’ll change your mind.
  245. Written and performed by Tim Minchin
  246. Directed by DC Turner
  247. Produced by Tracy King
  248. Character Design and animation by DC Turner
  249. Camera & Effects: Ricky Earl, Fraser Davidson, DC Turner, Andrew Flatt
  250. Supporting Character Animation: Ricky Earl, Kei Phillips, Ash Collins, Valentina Grasso, Betty Le Bon, Fraser Davidson
  251. Supporting character artwork: Kei Phillips, Ricky Earl, Diego Garcia, Betty Le Bon, Fraiser Davidson, Rachael King, Stuart Mason, Manu Roig
  252. Sound: Milton Mermikedes, Bridget Merkimedes, Holley Gray, Matthias Simmons, Pete Clements
  253. Additional Storyboards: Tracy King, Fraser Davidson, Ricky Earl, Joe Pavlo
  254. With thanks to: Sid Rodrigues, Rebecca Watson, Jane Goldman and family, Chris Blohm, Loretta King, Susan Turner
  255. With thanks to: Lyndsey Brown, Shella Livingston, Helen Jack, Chris Cox, Tom Milsom, Robin Ince
  256. © Storm Movie 2011 All Rights Reserved.,,