Videos de Orientación para Villanos: Los casos perdidos de Saltadilla | Villainous English subs
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0:00 - 0:03Subtitled by Nightfurmoon
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0:03 - 0:09Narrator: Welcome, clients desperate for evil advice,
to the orientation videos of Black Hat Organization. -
0:09 - 0:14Get ready for another session of
what you mustn't do in The Lost Cases of... -
0:14 - 0:16[Townsville Narrator] The City of Townsville!
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0:16 - 0:21A city that has one of the biggest
and most dangerous collections of villains in-- -
0:21 - 0:23[Narrator] Hey hey wait! Who the hell are you?
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0:23 - 0:25[Townsville Narrator] Me? I'm the narrator!
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0:25 - 0:27[Narrator] In your dreams! I'm the narrator!
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0:27 - 0:29[Townsville Narr.] What are you talking about?
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0:29 - 0:32I've always been the narrator of... The City of Townsville!
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0:32 - 0:36[Narrator] But we aren't in Townsville!
[Townsville Narr.] But-
[Narrator] Get out! -
0:36 - 0:38[Narrator] The City of Townsville!
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0:38 - 0:42A pacific place and always protected by- Ugh, I don't care.
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0:42 - 0:45Here's Lord Black Hat!
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0:45 - 0:47Welcome, infamous cockroaches!
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0:47 - 0:48Uh, sir...
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0:49 - 0:52I just wanted to say that
today you look gloriously evil... -
0:52 - 0:59This time, we will analyze one of the most recognized
and despicable villains of the City of Townsville -
0:59 - 1:01Mojo Jojo!
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1:01 - 1:05This primate is a bit more
developed than the average human. -
1:06 - 1:08Sir, he's just a monkey
that likes bananas. -
1:08 - 1:10All of you are the same to me.
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1:10 - 1:14Anyway... His big mistake is not hiring
the services of Black Hat Organization. -
1:14 - 1:17There's only one thing I can do and probably will do and GOOD BYE!
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1:18 - 1:23Flug: Wait sir. Mojo is a black diamond platinum client of the
organization and has spent millions in our products. -
1:24 - 1:31BH: Mojo Jojo, a disgusting and wicked
primate and evil genius of Townsville. -
1:31 - 1:36Flug: Hey sir, isn't Townsville one of our many
test zones for our manufactured monsters? -
1:36 - 1:40BH: If you interrupt me again you'll have to
manufacture yourself a new head! -
1:40 - 1:46The attributes that make Mojo Jojo a more advanced specimen
than the average human are his superior intellect... -
1:46 - 1:47Flug: But not superior to mine!
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1:48 - 1:51BH: ...he owns a large arsenal of lethal weapons and machinery...
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1:51 - 1:53Flug: ALMOST as lethal as the ones in our catalogue, sir!
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1:54 - 1:57BH: ...a diabolical lair at the top of a volcano....
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1:57 - 2:01Flug: That isn't as charming as a completely habitable giant top hat.
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2:02 - 2:06BH: ...and a looong list of purchases
of the products from Black Hat Organization! -
2:06 - 2:08Flug: Designed and built by a true genius.
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2:09 - 2:12The ones who ruin his malevolent
plans are his archenemies -
2:12 - 2:14The Flirtypuff Girls.
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2:14 - 2:16They're the Powerpuff
Girls, my master and lord! -
2:16 - 2:19AAHH! AHH MY WEENIE!
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2:19 - 2:23BH: These Flirtypuff Girls are the protectors of this pathetic city
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2:23 - 2:26and they're just three kindergarten girls!
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2:26 - 2:33I don't need to see more, his mistake is losing his dignity,
facing baby humans that haven't even developed fingers. -
2:33 - 2:36Flug: Frequent platinum client! Frequent platinum client!...
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2:37 - 2:40BH: Let's analyze his diabolical plans.
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2:40 - 2:46Ahh, Anubis' Head! One of the oldest
AND MOST USELESS relics that exists! -
2:46 - 2:50The only thing he's going to achieve is
turning the entire city into dogs! -
2:50 - 2:53What villain would want to rule a world filled with dogs?!
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2:53 - 2:59Instead he should've used the
Quetzalcoatl head! THAT is a relic. -
2:59 - 3:02Narrator: A lethal relic with a deadly offer!
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3:02 - 3:09Now you can rent the Quetzalcoatl head to incinerate your heroic enemies
and not worry about where you're going to put it when you've finished using it. -
3:10 - 3:14Rent it to destroy your hero, the hero league, your mother in law! Or the-
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3:15 - 3:16[Townsville Narrator] The City of Townsville!
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3:16 - 3:19Take advantage of this offer for the next 24 hours!
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3:20 - 3:21[Narrator] Get out of here! This is my show!
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3:21 - 3:24[Townsville Narr.] Hehehe, doesn't feel so good when
someone wants to steal your job, huh? -
3:24 - 3:25[Narrator] LEAVE!
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3:26 - 3:28-Not so fast! -You evil...! -Chimp!
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3:29 - 3:31Listen to me, Powerpuff Girls.
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3:31 - 3:33You're no longer
a threat to me. -
3:34 - 3:43BH: Ahh, I see he's fond of kicking adorable creatures, but he'll never
beat my multiversal record of distance traveled with a kick! -
3:43 - 3:44Muahahaha!
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3:45 - 3:47You can't reach me here!
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3:49 - 3:54BH: Of course this ape is as pathetic as
the rest of the bipeds that infest this planet. -
3:57 - 4:00Narrator: If you're so weak that a trio
of adorable puppies can beat you, -
4:00 - 4:03then you need the Butt Cover of Black Hat Organization!
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4:04 - 4:06Wha-what are you doing here, Demencia?
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4:06 - 4:08I'm here to narrate, duuh!
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4:09 - 4:11Why does everyone want to steal my job today!
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4:11 - 4:16[Townsville Narr.] You all are stealing MY JOB,
and you didn't even go to the Narration School! -
4:16 - 4:18[Demencia] Noo, but I found this!
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4:18 - 4:21[Both narrators] What?! [buzzing noises]
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4:21 - 4:23Flug: Demencia, and the Narrator?! Don't you
know that they charge us per hour?! -
4:23 - 4:25Demencia: I thought that you were clever, Flug!
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4:25 - 4:30Isn't it obvious? Now I'M the Narrator
and I've come to narrate a... 'Demencia Tip'! -
4:30 - 4:36Hello it's me, Demencia! And I'm here to help all of
you weak villains, who can't even defend their butts with my... -
4:37 - 4:38Demencia tips!
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4:38 - 4:44In this case, like Mojo Jojo's, if a dog tried to
bite your butt, all you have to do is... -
4:44 - 4:46OPEN AN UMBRELLA IN THEIR MOUTHS!
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4:47 - 4:49Oorrr... FILL THEIR HOUSE WITH RACCOONS!
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4:49 - 4:52Or you can shoot them...
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4:52 - 4:57With YOUR SILICONE GUN! Tralalaa, silicon power~
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4:57 - 5:01Flug: Demencia, get out! You're ruining everything!
Demencia: [mocking noises] -
5:01 - 5:04Flug: Hatbots, GET HER. Lethal mode.
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5:04 - 5:07Demencia: [gasp] You'll NEVER CATCH ME ALIIIIVE!
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5:12 - 5:19BH: One of the biggest injustices that villains are
forced to face is that they always fight teams of heroes. -
5:19 - 5:24To counter this, a mediocre villain must create their own team of villains.
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5:24 - 5:32In this case, Mojo Jojo pledges an alliance with
Fuzzy Lumpkins, Princess Morebucks and [inaudible] -
5:32 - 5:35Flug: Why does that always happen when
they say the true name of Him? -
5:35 - 5:38BH: When someone mentions his name, strange things happen.
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5:38 - 5:42When they mention mine, people die. To each their own.
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5:51 - 5:58MUAHAHA! YES, YES! AGAIN, AGAIN! MUAHAHA!
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5:58 - 6:02Flug: You see, my master, the evil
alliance of Mojo seems to be victorious. -
6:02 - 6:06They managed to crush the
Powerpuff Girls more than once! -
6:07 - 6:13BH: I've been in this world long enough to know that
sentimentality is about to destroy this alliance. -
6:16 - 6:17I love you too!
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6:17 - 6:18Oh no...
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6:19 - 6:20I told you!
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6:20 - 6:24This is Moko Jono. She has brilliant plans
on her mind that we should try! -
6:24 - 6:29Imagine all the people
desperate to get to their destinations! -
6:29 - 6:32That's not evil, that's inconvenient!
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6:32 - 6:37It's totally legal to take everything
that's completely white! So let's take them. -
6:37 - 6:41If it's legal to take them, you aren't stealing!
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6:41 - 6:44THE LOUDER YOU SHOUT,
THE MORE PAIN FOR EVERYONE LISTENING! -
6:44 - 6:46-WE QUIT!
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6:46 - 6:48And I leave!
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6:48 - 6:49Come here!
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6:49 - 6:51Michelle!
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6:51 - 6:52Who's Michelle?
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6:52 - 6:53Moko, do you know
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6:53 - 6:54AAAAAAAH!
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7:00 - 7:04Flug: Err... Lord Black Hat had to go out to do... very horrible things.
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7:07 - 7:11I'll continue to analyze this subject, starting with the 10V3 rule.
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7:11 - 7:13Don't involve your heart. Don't be like that.
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7:14 - 7:17Let's look for Mojo and see what he's planning this time.
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7:17 - 7:20[Townsville Narr.] Ahh Mojo Jojo! What are you planning this time?
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7:21 - 7:23[Narrator] I already told you that this is MY show!
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7:24 - 7:27Ohh, Mojo Jojo, what are you planning this time?
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7:28 - 7:31Ohh, Mojo Jojo, what are you planning this time?
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7:31 - 7:33If you hurt the professor--!
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7:33 - 7:34Why would I hurt
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7:34 - 7:36MY OWN FATHER?
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7:36 - 7:38-WHAT?!
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7:38 - 7:38Flug: What?
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7:38 - 7:39(WHAT?!)
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7:39 - 7:44The explosion that created
you also affected me. -
7:44 - 7:47My small monkey
brain started to mutate. -
7:47 - 7:52I always felt dwarfed by your
tremendous physical abilities. -
7:52 - 7:56And my brilliant discoveries
always went unnoticed. -
7:59 - 8:03It's not fair, not fair!
That's too sad, shoo, shoo! -
8:05 - 8:09I understand you, my Mojito,
I understand. Stay strong. [sniff] -
8:09 - 8:11...and never poor Mojo.
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8:11 - 8:16Jojo, I feel like a bully. Is there
something I can do to make this better? -
8:16 - 8:18Give me superpowers too!
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8:18 - 8:19Okay!
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8:20 - 8:24My experience says that giving superpowers to creatures
with sub-optimal intelligence never ends well, no? -
8:30 - 8:31Father?
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8:31 - 8:33Son?
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8:33 - 8:34Jethro!
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8:39 - 8:43Classic, he's using his enemy as a
baseball bat. Lord Black Hat loves to do that! -
8:44 - 8:46Yes, I love doing that!
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8:52 - 8:56Who would have thought that you
aren't as incompetent as we initially thought? -
8:56 - 8:59Wait and see, newbie. This
always ends in disappointment. -
8:59 - 9:01So many weapons and evil plans!
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9:02 - 9:05AH! What are you doing! NO, Demencia, stop it!
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9:06 - 9:08Huh? But I'm not doing anything!
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9:08 - 9:11Ah, sorry. Post-traumatic stress.
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9:12 - 9:13Hey, wait, I remember!
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9:13 - 9:15You were the worst
lab assistant I ever had! -
9:15 - 9:20And if I'm not mistaken,
it was on the day that I... -
9:20 - 9:24...was busy working on the formula
for the perfect little girls, when suddenly -
9:24 - 9:26you pushed me!
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9:26 - 9:29Who would think that having
a monkey as an employee is a good idea? -
9:29 - 9:31You don't have to think
too much to know that. -
9:31 - 9:33...and the birth of
the Powerpuff Girls! -
9:33 - 9:35What?!
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9:35 - 9:36WHAAAT?!
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9:37 - 9:43What? You created the Powerpuff Girls? You're the
one responsible for their birth and the reason for their existence? -
9:43 - 9:51Whaaat? I created the Powerpuff Girls? I'm the
one responsible for their birth and the reason for their existence? -
9:51 - 9:54How outrageous. He committed the
classic mistakes of an evil genius! -
9:55 - 9:56These were his mistakes.
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9:56 - 10:03Number one: You can't involve affection.
That disgusting feeling ruins everything. -
10:03 - 10:045.0.5.: Baww!
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10:04 - 10:08Not now, my genetically
altered baby. Daddy is working~ -
10:08 - 10:10Number two: He doesn't shut up!
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10:11 - 10:14And after a long list of mistakes
like excessive trust, using a cape, -
10:14 - 10:18and losing against baby humans,
without a doubt his worst mistake is... -
10:18 - 10:20Creating his archenemies.
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10:20 - 10:24Who with two grams of brains is able to do such thing?!
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10:24 - 10:29It's unheard of! There's only one thing
I can do to make this stupid ape better... -
10:31 - 10:34From one evil genius to another,
Mojo, I'll say that this won't kill you... -
10:34 - 10:36Although you might wish it did.
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10:37 - 10:41And once again, everything is
much worse thanks to -
10:41 - 10:46Lord Black Hat! And the orientation
videos of Black Hat Organization! -
10:46 - 10:47SHUT UP ALREADY!
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10:48 - 10:49AAAAH!
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